Initial acceptance that Z and I are no more

Aug 15

Father, yea, the role for new company is actually a mid level. E is well versed and wants total control in everything. I don't have a role there. So, decision was correct.

On Z, there were some dilemma on wanting him or not. Then I realised that's the wrong question as he already decided not to want me.

I switched on my phone and there were no messages from him. I experience momentary sadness.

Was talking to G and I felt bit envious of her rship with her husband. There were up and downs but they kept through it. I like the part they said they love each other but said they are both idiots. I also can identify the part of both parties saying they felt 'cheated'. For her, skin is black but behaves like a White. For him, skin is White but behaves like an Indian. That's similar to what Z and I tot of each other. Anyway, that's in the past. Perhaps, we are just mates for a season.

Osho
Love is enough. Live only out of love. It may last long, it may not last, but don't be worried whether it lasts long or does not last long. Even if it is there for a single moment, it will give u the taste of eternity.

And there is every possibility that if u r not afraid, it may last longer, because fear is poison; it poisons everything. If ur not worried about tomorrow, u may live today so totally that out of that totality a beautiful tomorrow will arise. But if u r afraid of tomorrow, u may destroy today.

Soul
Yea, I tot we lasted 3 months, then I tot 6 months, then 1 year. Alas we lasted 1.5 years. It lasted a few times more than I initially tot to be.

Osho
Love totally. If love disappears one day, depart from each other in deep gratitude, in the remembrance of the love that was once there - it has enriched u.
Rather than clinging to each other in anger, in frustration, in rage, and being violent with each other, it is better to depart with grace.
One should know how to fall in love and one should also know how to fall out of love gracefully.

Soul
I know I can love now. Let me learn how to fall out of love gracefully. Z has done me a good turn. He is a diamond and he will cut off without looking back at all.

Firstly, the flight was cancelled and then I now got to check out and re-check in again in Chennai. I think it could be my resistance. I never like to carry excess things, even for my own self. That's why I seldom buy things that I need to carry. In generally don't like to carry things or other people. The first time was when I had to carry books for Isha, but that was check in direct. Now double impact, 3 big cartons and I had to check out and in again. Like I told N, don't be sorry. It is not her, it could just be me.