May 19
Good is had the pre-sleep time with Shrine. Suddenly tot of singing guru pooja and then sat about half an hour. By the time I was done about 11.30 pm and so I adjust the alarm clock to 4.35 am instead.
Skip angarmadhana. Did one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya kriya and followed by breathing. Breathing was fine. Shakti was okay and Shambavi too. Overall better than what I expected.
As I saw my legs I saw them much smaller than I remember. Looks like its a total body reduction.
During the practices had some tots of volunteering. Rather reminiscing the loss of validation. I knew letting go was the right thing. The past is over.
Besides office revamping.
Tot of the new friends I met, I like them. Wish we could get together more. Was surprised that some were interested in spirituality. I think these are the ones who have achieved materials and know there is still more.
Me, wondering how I am. But I know that volunteering not for me. I enjoyed myself on this trip.
North node in Taurus
Self sabotage
Reaching goals required taking tried and true, systematic steps for getting there.
Their goal is important to them and they pledged to it wholeheartedly. But they also feel unworthy and subsconciously put road blocks. They can either limit themselves or going out too far on a limb without a safety net.
Soul
Guess this is without boundaries issue.
When I was with Z, that's on a limb. But no regrets.
When I took a chance on Y knowing we can't be. As G said its near to impossible.
North Node in Taurus
These folks sometimes want to be "more" than they are (they like to impress people) and this can lead to problems. They are learning they are okay just as they are. The self sabotage comes from wanting to move too fast or to be "bigger" than they are at the moment. They need to stay with themselves, grounded in their bodies.
Soul
True
North node in Taurus
Making judgement.
These folks are learning to stop destroying what others have built and instead focus on building what is important and valuable to themselves.
As they remain consistently true to their own values, they become less judgemental about others who have different values.
They also are highly judgemental of themselves and undermine their self worth. They often compare themselves to other people and feel jealous of what others have - this makes their lives complicated and much less happy!
For any of us, if what we are doing in our lives is making us happy, then we are on track. But the moment we compare ourselves, we lose.
Soul
True. I was invalidation others because I couldn't validate myself. Once I m okay with my values and pursue them, others different values no longer affect me.
Mmm, a tot come. Once I can love myself ; whether others have love or not no longer affects me.
Once I know sadhanas is my values I no longer affected by my lack of volunteering or others abundance in volunteering. Just as they are not envious of my sadhanas, I too need not be envious of their volunteering. I need not find out their purpose for volunteering not judge them. I just need to follow my sadhana. Ultimately the purpose is to be happy. Sadhanas makes me happy and volunteering makes them happy.
Amen.
Monday, June 30, 2014
Relaxing into my Self
May 18
Father, three days of relaxing and chilling out.
Today sabbatical and just did my swim only. Swimming is quite good.
Yesterday when I did Kundalini after Angarmadhana there were some cries.
Anyway this morning chat, make me realise I m truly on right path.
Also these three days, I wasn't really gorging on food. I m conscious of after effects.
Father, three days of relaxing and chilling out.
Today sabbatical and just did my swim only. Swimming is quite good.
Yesterday when I did Kundalini after Angarmadhana there were some cries.
Anyway this morning chat, make me realise I m truly on right path.
Also these three days, I wasn't really gorging on food. I m conscious of after effects.
Meditation means to be my Self
May 16
Facebook
When I accept myself I am freed from the burden of needing u to accept me.
Soul
Love this...
We seeking acceptance elsewhere..true acceptance is within.
May 17
Cried during Kundalini silence after angarmadhana.
Osho
What does it means to love myself?
It means meditation.
It means to be yourself
And nature will bring love as a reward.
When I accept myself I am freed from the burden of needing u to accept me.
Soul
Love this...
We seeking acceptance elsewhere..true acceptance is within.
May 17
Cried during Kundalini silence after angarmadhana.
Osho
What does it means to love myself?
It means meditation.
It means to be yourself
And nature will bring love as a reward.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Self Contentment
May 15
Nope. I don't want to go back to the past.
Be a Queen.
We got many as hoc regional report with deadlines.
If need to be I work two and half days.
Tot of the plan; by right La should be able to manage if I streamline.
Why all Six of Diamonds leaving me. Don't I need their support anymore?
May 15 eve
Just sitting in front of television, a sense of contentment filling me. A smile on my face. Loving myself.
Not missing those days of hectic volunteering. Just relaxing into my aloneness.
Just checked Facebook.
Spirituality means taking care of myself, loving myself.
Nope. I don't want to go back to the past.
Be a Queen.
We got many as hoc regional report with deadlines.
If need to be I work two and half days.
Tot of the plan; by right La should be able to manage if I streamline.
Why all Six of Diamonds leaving me. Don't I need their support anymore?
May 15 eve
Just sitting in front of television, a sense of contentment filling me. A smile on my face. Loving myself.
Not missing those days of hectic volunteering. Just relaxing into my aloneness.
Just checked Facebook.
Spirituality means taking care of myself, loving myself.
North Node in Taurus need boundaries
May 14
Woke up around midnight with a cramp. Went to toilet. First time such cramp on menses.
Slept back and woke up at 3.45 am. Body is good. Mind ponder a bit of what's next. I ignored it and went for shower.
Angarmadhana was good. The posture on squatting legs off ground balancing still not okay. That's one posture I have yet to do well.
Breathing was good.
Shakti was abridged version due to menses. I can feel the slight cramp in lower stomach.
Shambavi is good and since I got time I sat longer in silent contentment with head tilted watching my breathe.
Had some tots of Z and Y and I waived them off by either saying they are not relevant to the present or there is abundance of love and money for me. Need not hold on.
This week Osho's tarot cards
1. Issue - Clinging to the past
2. Internal influence that I am not aware - Change
If u cling to the edge of the wheel, u can get dizzy. Move toward the center of the cyclone and relax, knowing that this too will pass.
3. External influence - Guilt
Soul
Guilty for selecting wrong person. Guilty for not paying enough attention to the work flow.
4. What's needed for resolution?
The Source
There is a vast reservoir of energy available to us. And we tap it not by thinking and planning but by getting grounded, centered and silent enough to be in contact with the Source.
Pure energy, pulsating, available, is ready to give us anything we need to accomplish something and ready to welcome us back home when we want to rest.
5. Resolution
Friendliness.
First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness.
Soul
Tot of Y and L.
Matt Licata
To the degree u are intimate with the unwanted within, it is to this degree u can be intimate with another. If u have not provided shelter to the darkness within u, how will u ever hold the darkness of ur beloved.
Soul
Mmmm.
North node in Taurus
These folks are learning to express what they need and to avoid thinking of others' needs first. They often feel they are moving through life reacting to other people's situations and "falling into" things as opposed to consciously recognising where they are and where they want to go. They tend to be too focused on the motivation of others - subconsciously seek what they need by first defining what the other person wants. They may think they fully understand another's motivation and take action or respond to the person on that basis, only to find that their appraisal was incorrect.
Soul
That's what happen in local Isha. That's also that happen on my selection of my second in command. I tot of what my boss would say. I go for looks rather than substance.
Also partly after all the drama with S, I want a supportive staff.
North node in Taurus
It work best when they avoid tuning into the desires and opinions of others and focus on their own needs. "This is what I need. ... These are my reasons." To build an unshakeable sense of security and successfully reach goals, they need to keep in touch with their level of comfort and determine their boundaries.
Soul
Such irony, I tot I was control freak. But looks like I control inside but not outside. If I had control outside a bit then maybe I need not control myself too much. Suddenly an ah ha moment. That's why I m resentful; I m angry. I am angry because I put myself last. This comes from thinking that I was not lovable and hence need to perform to be loved.
There is anger in the Ruling card of Ace of Diamonds. Forever taking others values.
That's also explain why I was non negotiable on food. I have open myself up to everything and hence can't open food too.
Woke up around midnight with a cramp. Went to toilet. First time such cramp on menses.
Slept back and woke up at 3.45 am. Body is good. Mind ponder a bit of what's next. I ignored it and went for shower.
Angarmadhana was good. The posture on squatting legs off ground balancing still not okay. That's one posture I have yet to do well.
Breathing was good.
Shakti was abridged version due to menses. I can feel the slight cramp in lower stomach.
Shambavi is good and since I got time I sat longer in silent contentment with head tilted watching my breathe.
Had some tots of Z and Y and I waived them off by either saying they are not relevant to the present or there is abundance of love and money for me. Need not hold on.
This week Osho's tarot cards
1. Issue - Clinging to the past
2. Internal influence that I am not aware - Change
If u cling to the edge of the wheel, u can get dizzy. Move toward the center of the cyclone and relax, knowing that this too will pass.
3. External influence - Guilt
Soul
Guilty for selecting wrong person. Guilty for not paying enough attention to the work flow.
4. What's needed for resolution?
The Source
There is a vast reservoir of energy available to us. And we tap it not by thinking and planning but by getting grounded, centered and silent enough to be in contact with the Source.
Pure energy, pulsating, available, is ready to give us anything we need to accomplish something and ready to welcome us back home when we want to rest.
5. Resolution
Friendliness.
First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness.
Soul
Tot of Y and L.
Matt Licata
To the degree u are intimate with the unwanted within, it is to this degree u can be intimate with another. If u have not provided shelter to the darkness within u, how will u ever hold the darkness of ur beloved.
Soul
Mmmm.
North node in Taurus
These folks are learning to express what they need and to avoid thinking of others' needs first. They often feel they are moving through life reacting to other people's situations and "falling into" things as opposed to consciously recognising where they are and where they want to go. They tend to be too focused on the motivation of others - subconsciously seek what they need by first defining what the other person wants. They may think they fully understand another's motivation and take action or respond to the person on that basis, only to find that their appraisal was incorrect.
Soul
That's what happen in local Isha. That's also that happen on my selection of my second in command. I tot of what my boss would say. I go for looks rather than substance.
Also partly after all the drama with S, I want a supportive staff.
North node in Taurus
It work best when they avoid tuning into the desires and opinions of others and focus on their own needs. "This is what I need. ... These are my reasons." To build an unshakeable sense of security and successfully reach goals, they need to keep in touch with their level of comfort and determine their boundaries.
Soul
Such irony, I tot I was control freak. But looks like I control inside but not outside. If I had control outside a bit then maybe I need not control myself too much. Suddenly an ah ha moment. That's why I m resentful; I m angry. I am angry because I put myself last. This comes from thinking that I was not lovable and hence need to perform to be loved.
There is anger in the Ruling card of Ace of Diamonds. Forever taking others values.
That's also explain why I was non negotiable on food. I have open myself up to everything and hence can't open food too.
Self mastery is overcoming karmic tendencies
May 13 eve
Sadhguru
What someone might call karma is the sum of the vast store of impressions you’ve taken on as your software. Because of these impressions you develop certain tendencies. These are unconscious. Your body, your mind, your emotions, your energies, everything works according to these tendencies that evolve because of the vast store of impressions.
Unless one rises to a certain pitch of awareness and has a certain mastery over oneself, one is always being pushed and pulled by these unconscious tendencies. Even though you are pulled in a certain direction, all this was created by you, no one else but you.” - See more at: http://www.sadhguruonline.com/blog/a-life-changing-mistake#sthash.lJ3vlUpE.dpuf
Soul
Looks like I m on the right track on Self mastery.
Sadhguru
What someone might call karma is the sum of the vast store of impressions you’ve taken on as your software. Because of these impressions you develop certain tendencies. These are unconscious. Your body, your mind, your emotions, your energies, everything works according to these tendencies that evolve because of the vast store of impressions.
Unless one rises to a certain pitch of awareness and has a certain mastery over oneself, one is always being pushed and pulled by these unconscious tendencies. Even though you are pulled in a certain direction, all this was created by you, no one else but you.” - See more at: http://www.sadhguruonline.com/blog/a-life-changing-mistake#sthash.lJ3vlUpE.dpuf
Soul
Looks like I m on the right track on Self mastery.
Blast through the lonely feeling..it is not real
May 13 aft
Love yourself http://www.valeriegangas.com/
Be the love you want; be the person you want to meet; be solid.
There is no point getting involved with another human when we need them to complete us. That is a recipe for emptiness, confusion & disaster. We are already complete; we just have to open our mind and soul to see it. It’s right there, inside of all of us. The key is that you have to experience it for yourself, not just read about it. You have to walk the walk, and there will be days that it’s going to hurt like hell.
Sometimes it takes losing your mind in order to find your soul; but, there is a major upside to all of this. We attract exactly who we are to ourselves. With that equation how can we lose? When you come together with another self-actualized person, the energy fueling that type of relationship is indescribable. It’s pure magic and much different than anything you may have experienced prior to your metamorphosis.
“Where there is great love, there are always miracles.”
~Willa Cather
Blast through that lonely feeling; it’s not real. We are never alone.
I am reminded of the solid advice my wise Irish grandpa once gave me, “Marriage is the biggest gamble you will ever take, but give it a shot, at least once.” This coming from a man that married a woman he never stopped loving, even after she passed away 30 years before him.
I know it won’t always be easy, but anything that is truly amazing never is. I can say to Gramps with confidence now, “You were right.”
This is a no limit game. My chips are on the table and I’m holding a made hand.
I’m all in.
Soul
Updating my blog in late April and got this;
Got this from Facebook.
Amma
The success of one's life depends upon one's ability to forget what is not relevant at the present moment.
Soul
Great reminder..
Tots of Z and Y is not relevant..can be forgotten.
I have nearly forgotten Z and now time for Y to be forgotten too.
Pluto in 4th house
If you are inwardly insecure, you will feel threatened at the very center of your ego's foundation. You psychologically circle the wagons and defend yourself against the onslaught from the unknown.
One defensive measure is to raise your level of attachment to those things which give your ego definition and security--family, tradition, home and homeland. The more your subconscious tries to shake these foundations away from you, the more you cling to them. Obsession, compulsion, mania, or at least an unreasonable preoccupation with these Fourth House matters is the result.
Soul
No wonder I am bit shaken by the half drop out in my team.
My foundation at work is being shaken.
I wonder whether I am able to go back to the past comfort. Wonder if I can retain my 3 days works; wonder whether our team will go back to the past glory that i have achieved.
Wonder who will be joining me next.
Already lost Y, then lost the local Isha and now may loss the comfort of my work environment.
Looks like I got to work hard for next couple of months.
Pluto in 4th house
When crisis results in transformation, you may find your outlook toward family and tradition profoundly altered. After a peak crisis, you may feel that your whole essence has been fundamentally changed and that your sense of personal security is no longer dependent upon external nurturing but is rooted in your own sense of Truth.
Soul
I remind myself of my luck in having good work environment.
So far all that goes is not conducive to the growth of team; so maybe blessing in disguise.
Love yourself http://www.valeriegangas.com/
Be the love you want; be the person you want to meet; be solid.
There is no point getting involved with another human when we need them to complete us. That is a recipe for emptiness, confusion & disaster. We are already complete; we just have to open our mind and soul to see it. It’s right there, inside of all of us. The key is that you have to experience it for yourself, not just read about it. You have to walk the walk, and there will be days that it’s going to hurt like hell.
Sometimes it takes losing your mind in order to find your soul; but, there is a major upside to all of this. We attract exactly who we are to ourselves. With that equation how can we lose? When you come together with another self-actualized person, the energy fueling that type of relationship is indescribable. It’s pure magic and much different than anything you may have experienced prior to your metamorphosis.
“Where there is great love, there are always miracles.”
~Willa Cather
Blast through that lonely feeling; it’s not real. We are never alone.
I am reminded of the solid advice my wise Irish grandpa once gave me, “Marriage is the biggest gamble you will ever take, but give it a shot, at least once.” This coming from a man that married a woman he never stopped loving, even after she passed away 30 years before him.
I know it won’t always be easy, but anything that is truly amazing never is. I can say to Gramps with confidence now, “You were right.”
This is a no limit game. My chips are on the table and I’m holding a made hand.
I’m all in.
Soul
Updating my blog in late April and got this;
Got this from Facebook.
Amma
The success of one's life depends upon one's ability to forget what is not relevant at the present moment.
Soul
Great reminder..
Tots of Z and Y is not relevant..can be forgotten.
I have nearly forgotten Z and now time for Y to be forgotten too.
Pluto in 4th house
If you are inwardly insecure, you will feel threatened at the very center of your ego's foundation. You psychologically circle the wagons and defend yourself against the onslaught from the unknown.
One defensive measure is to raise your level of attachment to those things which give your ego definition and security--family, tradition, home and homeland. The more your subconscious tries to shake these foundations away from you, the more you cling to them. Obsession, compulsion, mania, or at least an unreasonable preoccupation with these Fourth House matters is the result.
Soul
No wonder I am bit shaken by the half drop out in my team.
My foundation at work is being shaken.
I wonder whether I am able to go back to the past comfort. Wonder if I can retain my 3 days works; wonder whether our team will go back to the past glory that i have achieved.
Wonder who will be joining me next.
Already lost Y, then lost the local Isha and now may loss the comfort of my work environment.
Looks like I got to work hard for next couple of months.
Pluto in 4th house
When crisis results in transformation, you may find your outlook toward family and tradition profoundly altered. After a peak crisis, you may feel that your whole essence has been fundamentally changed and that your sense of personal security is no longer dependent upon external nurturing but is rooted in your own sense of Truth.
Soul
I remind myself of my luck in having good work environment.
So far all that goes is not conducive to the growth of team; so maybe blessing in disguise.
Sadhguru - all it requires is our willingness
May 13
Woke up at 7 am upon alarm. Did Bhuta Shuddi and sang guru pooja followed by cat stretch. Angarmadhana was good. Surya kriya fine too. Breathing was lovely.
Shakti was nice with slow Kapala Bhakti. Very little distraction. Shambavi was good except was thinking of brunch. Towards the end just contented silence.
Worry about others waiting for me and hence end by 10.15 am. Took a quick look at FB. Saw Z's wife FB pic.
Woke up and everyone already got their appointment. Wish I just sat longer with my practices. Feeling bit lonely and feeling but envious of others. But I remind myself there is abundance for me too. Feeling better now. Just savouring my contentment.
Yesterday pre sleep session with Shrine was lovely. I took a quick shower before I sat. Went in quick. So nice. That's why body woke up fine before alarm. Truly thankful for the Shrine. Also I m thankful for Bhoota Shuddi. We did it in January and while others are caught with bugs, I am fine. Amen. Finally system is balanced.
And I love most now is the breathing session. Just sitting and watch my breathe. So calm and lovely. I haven't been able to do Samyama with the Shrine but now do while driving to work. I am truly thankful. I look so lovely too. Alas body is vibrant.
Of Mystics and Mistakes
Sadhguru
When it comes to outside realities, all of us are differently capable. No two human beings are equally capable when it comes to doing something outside. But when it comes to interiority, all of us are equally capable. There is no question of incapability. It is just a question of willingness. Are we willing? That is the question.
U can convert this human system into absolute receptivity where u can perceive life in ways that u have never believed possible
Soul
Amen. This journey of 5 years has been an amazing ride. I have been proven wrong over and over again. All that I have experienced is beyond my logic. Sadhguru's tools truly work. We just need to be open to it. Amen.
Woke up at 7 am upon alarm. Did Bhuta Shuddi and sang guru pooja followed by cat stretch. Angarmadhana was good. Surya kriya fine too. Breathing was lovely.
Shakti was nice with slow Kapala Bhakti. Very little distraction. Shambavi was good except was thinking of brunch. Towards the end just contented silence.
Worry about others waiting for me and hence end by 10.15 am. Took a quick look at FB. Saw Z's wife FB pic.
Woke up and everyone already got their appointment. Wish I just sat longer with my practices. Feeling bit lonely and feeling but envious of others. But I remind myself there is abundance for me too. Feeling better now. Just savouring my contentment.
Yesterday pre sleep session with Shrine was lovely. I took a quick shower before I sat. Went in quick. So nice. That's why body woke up fine before alarm. Truly thankful for the Shrine. Also I m thankful for Bhoota Shuddi. We did it in January and while others are caught with bugs, I am fine. Amen. Finally system is balanced.
And I love most now is the breathing session. Just sitting and watch my breathe. So calm and lovely. I haven't been able to do Samyama with the Shrine but now do while driving to work. I am truly thankful. I look so lovely too. Alas body is vibrant.
Of Mystics and Mistakes
Sadhguru
When it comes to outside realities, all of us are differently capable. No two human beings are equally capable when it comes to doing something outside. But when it comes to interiority, all of us are equally capable. There is no question of incapability. It is just a question of willingness. Are we willing? That is the question.
U can convert this human system into absolute receptivity where u can perceive life in ways that u have never believed possible
Soul
Amen. This journey of 5 years has been an amazing ride. I have been proven wrong over and over again. All that I have experienced is beyond my logic. Sadhguru's tools truly work. We just need to be open to it. Amen.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Second in command ready to go too
May 12 eve
Finally had the chat with L. Looks like she too had the same idea. She said she is over qualified for the job and at her age she too not willing to slog out for those reports. She has served her time and besides she is entitled to a better pay. She also agrees to serve notice.
Just finished my evening practices. After guru pooja, suddenly wanted to just fold my leg and wrap my arms around myself. Then I cried loads. After a while feels like chanting Jai Bhairavi. I prayed to Linga. Guess all the pressure coming up. At least now I can release them.
The second eclipse, April 28, which occurred just days before May dawned, was a softer, somewhat easier eclipse for Cancer, but I say that not knowing your entire chart. On the world stage, near April 28, we saw that not everyone had a good week, but then again, I did not see any prominent Cancers among those who suffered. That second eclipse lit your eleventh house of friendship, so you may have seen a friend move away, get married, or have another major change in lifestyle.
Eclipses, even new moon eclipses like the one April 28, open a new path, often ask for a sacrifice, or will "eclipse out" someone or something that is prominent in your life.
Soul
It was definitely unexpected that I had to let go of L. Major change in my work environment.
Also Y is gone. Yes, we can't be friends like before. Be sensible. In time I too will forget him like I forget about Z.
No wonder Clinging to the Past.
Finally had the chat with L. Looks like she too had the same idea. She said she is over qualified for the job and at her age she too not willing to slog out for those reports. She has served her time and besides she is entitled to a better pay. She also agrees to serve notice.
Just finished my evening practices. After guru pooja, suddenly wanted to just fold my leg and wrap my arms around myself. Then I cried loads. After a while feels like chanting Jai Bhairavi. I prayed to Linga. Guess all the pressure coming up. At least now I can release them.
The second eclipse, April 28, which occurred just days before May dawned, was a softer, somewhat easier eclipse for Cancer, but I say that not knowing your entire chart. On the world stage, near April 28, we saw that not everyone had a good week, but then again, I did not see any prominent Cancers among those who suffered. That second eclipse lit your eleventh house of friendship, so you may have seen a friend move away, get married, or have another major change in lifestyle.
Eclipses, even new moon eclipses like the one April 28, open a new path, often ask for a sacrifice, or will "eclipse out" someone or something that is prominent in your life.
Soul
It was definitely unexpected that I had to let go of L. Major change in my work environment.
Also Y is gone. Yes, we can't be friends like before. Be sensible. In time I too will forget him like I forget about Z.
No wonder Clinging to the Past.
Six of Spades in Neptune
May 12 mor
My 52-Day Period Card in Neptune
The Six of Spades
The Six of Spades is the strongest of the karma cards. When this card is present, you can expect a smoothing out of affairs in the realms of work and health. However, if you have had bad or negative habits in these areas or if your lifestyle has included any activities which have intentionally or inadvertently hurt others, you may have to settle your accounts when this powerful card appears. Whatever happens when this card appears, see that as a guidepost to make corrections in your path.
The Six of Spades will cause a settling of all affairs and at the same time bring some much needed peace into your life. If, during that time, you take some time to tune in to your deepest thoughts and feelings, you may become aware of a special message for you that comes from inside. This message may lead you to perform a special mission in your life, one that uplifts others in some important way. The Six of Spades is the card of FATE.
Today card in Mercury
My Daily Card
The Nine of Spades
The Nine of Spades can be a card of loss and disappointment. However, the true nature of the card reveals that its presence in your life for any period of time does not have to be a disaster. In actuality, the Nine of Spades represents making a completion of some importance. Whether this is the end of a certain occupation, way of life, or way of being with your health and body will depend upon the position of the card and the circumstances in your life at the time. But rest assured that some important aspect of your life is coming to an end when this potent card shows up.
This is also one of the death cards and indeed, when this card shows up there will be a death in your life of some kind. We go through many mini-deaths in the course of our lifetime and just like the snake shedding its skin, arrive at a new and better place each time we do so. Therefore the Nine of Spades is not a card to be feared but instead a card to be welcomed. It always has the ability to clear away all the unwanted and useless debris in our life and put us back on a new course where we are much more enlivened and satisfied.
Soul
Both Osho Tarot and Mercury also denotes ending.
My 52-Day Period Card in Neptune
The Six of Spades
The Six of Spades is the strongest of the karma cards. When this card is present, you can expect a smoothing out of affairs in the realms of work and health. However, if you have had bad or negative habits in these areas or if your lifestyle has included any activities which have intentionally or inadvertently hurt others, you may have to settle your accounts when this powerful card appears. Whatever happens when this card appears, see that as a guidepost to make corrections in your path.
The Six of Spades will cause a settling of all affairs and at the same time bring some much needed peace into your life. If, during that time, you take some time to tune in to your deepest thoughts and feelings, you may become aware of a special message for you that comes from inside. This message may lead you to perform a special mission in your life, one that uplifts others in some important way. The Six of Spades is the card of FATE.
Today card in Mercury
My Daily Card
The Nine of Spades
The Nine of Spades can be a card of loss and disappointment. However, the true nature of the card reveals that its presence in your life for any period of time does not have to be a disaster. In actuality, the Nine of Spades represents making a completion of some importance. Whether this is the end of a certain occupation, way of life, or way of being with your health and body will depend upon the position of the card and the circumstances in your life at the time. But rest assured that some important aspect of your life is coming to an end when this potent card shows up.
This is also one of the death cards and indeed, when this card shows up there will be a death in your life of some kind. We go through many mini-deaths in the course of our lifetime and just like the snake shedding its skin, arrive at a new and better place each time we do so. Therefore the Nine of Spades is not a card to be feared but instead a card to be welcomed. It always has the ability to clear away all the unwanted and useless debris in our life and put us back on a new course where we are much more enlivened and satisfied.
Soul
Both Osho Tarot and Mercury also denotes ending.
North Node in Taurus - repressed anger due to fear of not being validated
May 12
Body woke up fresh before alarm around 4 plus. But I waited till alarm rang at 4.35 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and sang guru pooja followed by 3 cycle cat stretch.
Did one cycle of yoga Namaskar and Surya kriya.
Breathing was lovely. Shakti was good with slow Kapala Bhakti. Only in third cycle I was distracted with tots.
Shambavi was good too. Towards the end just head tilted up watching breathe.
North node in Taurus
Validation.
These folks carry a lot of anger. However their anger is really based on fear: fear of not being respected, not being liked, not being treated as human being.
They often become frustrated and feel robbed of self-worth when they do not get the validation they think they deserve from others. All their fears are around the issue of: "How am I going to be acknowledged or recognised?" They feel afraid and angry because they are giving and they are not getting back what they need. But this need can never be satisfied externally. They can never get enough validation from others - no matter how much wealth, prestige or power they have - to feel good about themselves on a deep level.
The resolution for their anger involves beginning to live in ways that are self validating, in accord with their own values. When they stop looking to others to provide their self-worth and start looking inside themselves, suddenly their anger becomes productive energy.
Sometimes they pursue career that are not really what they feel called to do but are what they think will draw validation from other people.
Soul
Validation was the main reason I hold on to local Isha. But the price to pay to receive the validation is not worth the price I have to pay in volunteering and leading the team.
Now that I finally okay in not having the external validation. I feel validated by myself. So no anger.
North node in Taurus
The validation they can count on consistently - appreciating themselves rather than for meeting someone else's needs. They need to establish ways of feeding themselves energy so that they become self-contained. Then they can interact with others because they want to, rather than out of neediness.
Soul
True. Yesterday feels great to be able to attend Sathsang. I feel I m back to myself. I can be an expression of what Sathsang can be. Yesterday special meditation I went in.
North node in Taurus
One positive, self validating action would be to set up a financial plan for themselves. In addition spending each day putting energy into things that are personally meaningful to them is self-validating - such as preparation of good meals. The idea is to engage in regular activities that nurture and help them feel good about themselves, regardless of the input from others. When they do this they are on track.
Soul
I love my sadhanas. I love my food. I love my writing.
Doing all these three makes me happy.
Financially I m fine but somehow reluctant to invest.
Body woke up fresh before alarm around 4 plus. But I waited till alarm rang at 4.35 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and sang guru pooja followed by 3 cycle cat stretch.
Did one cycle of yoga Namaskar and Surya kriya.
Breathing was lovely. Shakti was good with slow Kapala Bhakti. Only in third cycle I was distracted with tots.
Shambavi was good too. Towards the end just head tilted up watching breathe.
North node in Taurus
Validation.
These folks carry a lot of anger. However their anger is really based on fear: fear of not being respected, not being liked, not being treated as human being.
They often become frustrated and feel robbed of self-worth when they do not get the validation they think they deserve from others. All their fears are around the issue of: "How am I going to be acknowledged or recognised?" They feel afraid and angry because they are giving and they are not getting back what they need. But this need can never be satisfied externally. They can never get enough validation from others - no matter how much wealth, prestige or power they have - to feel good about themselves on a deep level.
The resolution for their anger involves beginning to live in ways that are self validating, in accord with their own values. When they stop looking to others to provide their self-worth and start looking inside themselves, suddenly their anger becomes productive energy.
Sometimes they pursue career that are not really what they feel called to do but are what they think will draw validation from other people.
Soul
Validation was the main reason I hold on to local Isha. But the price to pay to receive the validation is not worth the price I have to pay in volunteering and leading the team.
Now that I finally okay in not having the external validation. I feel validated by myself. So no anger.
North node in Taurus
The validation they can count on consistently - appreciating themselves rather than for meeting someone else's needs. They need to establish ways of feeding themselves energy so that they become self-contained. Then they can interact with others because they want to, rather than out of neediness.
Soul
True. Yesterday feels great to be able to attend Sathsang. I feel I m back to myself. I can be an expression of what Sathsang can be. Yesterday special meditation I went in.
North node in Taurus
One positive, self validating action would be to set up a financial plan for themselves. In addition spending each day putting energy into things that are personally meaningful to them is self-validating - such as preparation of good meals. The idea is to engage in regular activities that nurture and help them feel good about themselves, regardless of the input from others. When they do this they are on track.
Soul
I love my sadhanas. I love my food. I love my writing.
Doing all these three makes me happy.
Financially I m fine but somehow reluctant to invest.
Losing weight with Angamardhana
May 11 eve
Everyone said I look so much slimmer and looks younger. S said she tot I can no longer transform any further and here I prove her wrong. Not only I slim down but also looking younger than before. My face is glowing. L said as if I just got back from good plastic surgery.
Sathsang was good. During practices some tot of Y comes in and I replaced it with tots of abundance.
Self creation meditation. When I go into my childhood I cried. Then burden lifted when I creates myself anew.
Went to a good Jain restaurant. Ask Y to have his wedding party there. I made my peace. Last month he messaged me on his wedding and this month I messaged him on his wedding. I just know that we will be cordial to each other and I definitely attend his wedding.
Everyone said I look so much slimmer and looks younger. S said she tot I can no longer transform any further and here I prove her wrong. Not only I slim down but also looking younger than before. My face is glowing. L said as if I just got back from good plastic surgery.
Sathsang was good. During practices some tot of Y comes in and I replaced it with tots of abundance.
Self creation meditation. When I go into my childhood I cried. Then burden lifted when I creates myself anew.
Went to a good Jain restaurant. Ask Y to have his wedding party there. I made my peace. Last month he messaged me on his wedding and this month I messaged him on his wedding. I just know that we will be cordial to each other and I definitely attend his wedding.
Sun in cancer - When I am not authentic, I am indirectly manipulating others' responses
May 11 aft 1
Now finally reading my Superpower report for Natal chart again. The last time I read was in 2013. Now reading it.
Cosmic Factor in water sign
A great deal of your time is spent in the world of feelings, emotions and intuitions. For the most part, your life is experienced as an ebb and flow of emotional tides and currents. You usually react strongly to the emotional atmosphere of any given situation.
Soul
No wonder I need my blog.
Cosmic Factor
If you find that you're becoming bored or depressed, you should realize that your values are misplaced, and that your sense of security is false. If you're not happy, change your status quo and embrace the unknown. When paralyzed by fears and inhibitions, breathe deeply and move slowly and deliberately towards what you want.
Soul
This affirms that volunteering is truly not for me.
I stayed so long due to fear of loss of bonding but alas resentment got in as it was done unwillingly.
It was a form of manipulation albeit indirect way.
I volunteer to retain the validation and bond and when I am not appreciated I become upset. When I forced myself to continue to perform in order to retain validation, I become resentful.
Now I understand what is meant by values
Me, have been on my notebook updating my blog for the past 3 hours and yet it is effortles..
Neptune Retrograde
FANTASY FORCE IS TURNED WITHIN (APPARENT BACKWARD MOTION)
You're a bit self-absorbed with past difficulties and anger from the past. Sometimes you sail on wave after wave of uncharted space. In order to stay focused you need an annual retreat to distill your inspiration and your creative juices. You can make daydreams real. It's your choice; you can be a channel for higher or lower spiritual forces.
Soul
Thats why I need annual retreat to Ashram.
Truly glad I am going in June.
Sun in Cancer
You're not necessarily the most direct individual. Because you prefer to withdraw from trouble, you need to watch out for passive aggression. You can get yourself into hot water without knowing it. However, your security is something you're always aware of. Usually it's a top priority. You are definitely strong and protective of your turf.
Soul
True especially in personal and romantic relationship.
sun in Cancer
You know how to please people and you want to be liked. You can become a star by swaying others with your natural charm and style. You are somewhat warm-hearted, affectionate, social and erotic. Comfort, pleasure and luxury are necessary for you to be you.
Soul
True. I need a balance between my disclipned sadhanas and also my comforts.
Hence the working day sadhanas and sabattical Sunday so I be fine.
Sun in Cancer
In the chase after what you want, you're driven, willful, energetic, assertive, competitive, dramatic and enterprising. In the pursuit of your goals, you're willing to work hard and if necessary face danger. You tend to do what you think is right and are not one to give up or give in to fear. To become a star you need to channel some of your energy into physical activity, athletics and exercise. When you're restless, you need to work out.
Now finally reading my Superpower report for Natal chart again. The last time I read was in 2013. Now reading it.
Cosmic Factor in water sign
A great deal of your time is spent in the world of feelings, emotions and intuitions. For the most part, your life is experienced as an ebb and flow of emotional tides and currents. You usually react strongly to the emotional atmosphere of any given situation.
Soul
No wonder I need my blog.
Cosmic Factor
If you find that you're becoming bored or depressed, you should realize that your values are misplaced, and that your sense of security is false. If you're not happy, change your status quo and embrace the unknown. When paralyzed by fears and inhibitions, breathe deeply and move slowly and deliberately towards what you want.
Soul
This affirms that volunteering is truly not for me.
I stayed so long due to fear of loss of bonding but alas resentment got in as it was done unwillingly.
It was a form of manipulation albeit indirect way.
I volunteer to retain the validation and bond and when I am not appreciated I become upset. When I forced myself to continue to perform in order to retain validation, I become resentful.
Now I understand what is meant by values
Me, have been on my notebook updating my blog for the past 3 hours and yet it is effortles..
Neptune Retrograde
FANTASY FORCE IS TURNED WITHIN (APPARENT BACKWARD MOTION)
You're a bit self-absorbed with past difficulties and anger from the past. Sometimes you sail on wave after wave of uncharted space. In order to stay focused you need an annual retreat to distill your inspiration and your creative juices. You can make daydreams real. It's your choice; you can be a channel for higher or lower spiritual forces.
Soul
Thats why I need annual retreat to Ashram.
Truly glad I am going in June.
Sun in Cancer
You're not necessarily the most direct individual. Because you prefer to withdraw from trouble, you need to watch out for passive aggression. You can get yourself into hot water without knowing it. However, your security is something you're always aware of. Usually it's a top priority. You are definitely strong and protective of your turf.
Soul
True especially in personal and romantic relationship.
sun in Cancer
You know how to please people and you want to be liked. You can become a star by swaying others with your natural charm and style. You are somewhat warm-hearted, affectionate, social and erotic. Comfort, pleasure and luxury are necessary for you to be you.
Soul
True. I need a balance between my disclipned sadhanas and also my comforts.
Hence the working day sadhanas and sabattical Sunday so I be fine.
Sun in Cancer
In the chase after what you want, you're driven, willful, energetic, assertive, competitive, dramatic and enterprising. In the pursuit of your goals, you're willing to work hard and if necessary face danger. You tend to do what you think is right and are not one to give up or give in to fear. To become a star you need to channel some of your energy into physical activity, athletics and exercise. When you're restless, you need to work out.
Actively making myself unnecessary
May 11 aft
As I was updating my blog for mid April, I saw this:
Tiny buddha
We Have the Power to Choose
By Anonymous
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” ~Wayne Dyer
“I can choose what affects me.”
Soul
These days whenever tots of Y and Z comes in, I immediately changed my tots to remind myself that "Abundance of love & money" is mine to have. I know that mind goes back into past, into negative tots as it believes in poverty consciousness. I am determined to turn this around. While I don't have the abundance yet but I know abundance is out there. It is there waiting for me.
For now, I just grow into myself. Finding and strengthening my values; Perhaps that's why I attract strong Spades and strong Clubs; Spades is on values and Clubs into fixing their mind and following their plans.
Now updating my Apr 24 blog and saw this:
Rebellesociety
Love isn’t created by doing; rather it is accessed, tapped into and unleashed, when we meet a kindred soul. Perhaps it’s tricky in romantic love, but I know it to be true when I think about those whom I love most in the world. I appreciate what they do for me, but my love isn’t a result of their actions.
My love swells out of the beauty of their being, in the delight I feel in their presence.
So I’ve embarked upon a new endeavor: I’m actively making myself unnecessary.
I’m unwinding the cords that I wove around others to make me indispensable in their lives.
I’m learning to walk away from people that are always needing, and letting go of my addiction to being needed.
I’m opening up to those who want to grab a cup of tea to talk about life. Those who invite me to dinner, or to see a play, or to watch a band they think we might both like.
Soul
Thats my path now.
My email incoming box no longer have emails but I am fine. Less mail to delete.
Two days ago they had a meeting and I was not invited..so I can reject.
Thats okay too.
Its been awhile since I met them all but I have also been busy.
Busy with the expansion in my work and connecting with old friends again and spending time on catching up with my blog.
No more wanting to be needed..I just want to be wanted for being me.
I am enough.
Amen
As I was updating my blog for mid April, I saw this:
Tiny buddha
We Have the Power to Choose
By Anonymous
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” ~Wayne Dyer
“I can choose what affects me.”
Soul
These days whenever tots of Y and Z comes in, I immediately changed my tots to remind myself that "Abundance of love & money" is mine to have. I know that mind goes back into past, into negative tots as it believes in poverty consciousness. I am determined to turn this around. While I don't have the abundance yet but I know abundance is out there. It is there waiting for me.
For now, I just grow into myself. Finding and strengthening my values; Perhaps that's why I attract strong Spades and strong Clubs; Spades is on values and Clubs into fixing their mind and following their plans.
Now updating my Apr 24 blog and saw this:
Rebellesociety
Love isn’t created by doing; rather it is accessed, tapped into and unleashed, when we meet a kindred soul. Perhaps it’s tricky in romantic love, but I know it to be true when I think about those whom I love most in the world. I appreciate what they do for me, but my love isn’t a result of their actions.
My love swells out of the beauty of their being, in the delight I feel in their presence.
So I’ve embarked upon a new endeavor: I’m actively making myself unnecessary.
I’m unwinding the cords that I wove around others to make me indispensable in their lives.
I’m learning to walk away from people that are always needing, and letting go of my addiction to being needed.
I’m opening up to those who want to grab a cup of tea to talk about life. Those who invite me to dinner, or to see a play, or to watch a band they think we might both like.
Soul
Thats my path now.
My email incoming box no longer have emails but I am fine. Less mail to delete.
Two days ago they had a meeting and I was not invited..so I can reject.
Thats okay too.
Its been awhile since I met them all but I have also been busy.
Busy with the expansion in my work and connecting with old friends again and spending time on catching up with my blog.
No more wanting to be needed..I just want to be wanted for being me.
I am enough.
Amen
Angarmadharna truly works
May 11
Yesterday spend one hour at the Shrine before sleep. I tot it was only half an hour. But I know I didnt' want to wake up.
Woke up at 6.30 am, took quick shower and did my Bhuta Shuddi.
Then adjourned for the walk and staircase in the park.
Today, second time wearing the hiking shoes, I am thankful for it.
Thank to V I need not have to buy one as it be quite wasteful; just like my leather shoes I bought for trip to Germany. May be good to use that as it really fits well and can withstand the coldness in Germany.
Today, the first cycle walk was quite a brisk in the hiking shoes but the staircase climb was not as easy as i recalled the first time. Maybe due to the heat. The second cycle of walk I can feel the strain towards the end. And in the second cycle of staircase, while I was feeling tired but I can finish the whole six rounds of staircase unlike last week when I can only do 5 sets. So, that was good.
Sweat loads.
Mom said I have lost quite a lot of weight. She asked whether I weight myself. I said I put on a bit cos lately appetite is good. Anyway, the last time I weigh myself, the weight increased due to muscle build up.
Slowly but surely getting fitter...
Yesterday swimming was great too. I could swim effortlessly and not only now my head focus on the pool's floor but now I can only push out my upper body using the flow of water instead of pushing my upper body using my own strength. There is a difference in the send that I am less tired and the flow of water has less resistant.
I am so glad to have joined Angarmadharna. I am the fittest that I could have ever been. And the fitness level is increasing every week.
My swim is a blast.
The staircase session is good.
All in all I am truly lucky to be guided.
I am so glad I decided to do Kailash now after Sadhguru introduced Isha Hata Yoga.
My body is getting more vibrant.
I have always said body will be my last path and so it is happening now.
Amen.
Mmm, it been two months plus since my last menses. And the good thing is that there is no more nighht heat. So glad...
Yesterday spend one hour at the Shrine before sleep. I tot it was only half an hour. But I know I didnt' want to wake up.
Woke up at 6.30 am, took quick shower and did my Bhuta Shuddi.
Then adjourned for the walk and staircase in the park.
Today, second time wearing the hiking shoes, I am thankful for it.
Thank to V I need not have to buy one as it be quite wasteful; just like my leather shoes I bought for trip to Germany. May be good to use that as it really fits well and can withstand the coldness in Germany.
Today, the first cycle walk was quite a brisk in the hiking shoes but the staircase climb was not as easy as i recalled the first time. Maybe due to the heat. The second cycle of walk I can feel the strain towards the end. And in the second cycle of staircase, while I was feeling tired but I can finish the whole six rounds of staircase unlike last week when I can only do 5 sets. So, that was good.
Sweat loads.
Mom said I have lost quite a lot of weight. She asked whether I weight myself. I said I put on a bit cos lately appetite is good. Anyway, the last time I weigh myself, the weight increased due to muscle build up.
Slowly but surely getting fitter...
Yesterday swimming was great too. I could swim effortlessly and not only now my head focus on the pool's floor but now I can only push out my upper body using the flow of water instead of pushing my upper body using my own strength. There is a difference in the send that I am less tired and the flow of water has less resistant.
I am so glad to have joined Angarmadharna. I am the fittest that I could have ever been. And the fitness level is increasing every week.
My swim is a blast.
The staircase session is good.
All in all I am truly lucky to be guided.
I am so glad I decided to do Kailash now after Sadhguru introduced Isha Hata Yoga.
My body is getting more vibrant.
I have always said body will be my last path and so it is happening now.
Amen.
Mmm, it been two months plus since my last menses. And the good thing is that there is no more nighht heat. So glad...
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Moon in Taurus - learning to accept my needs and be open to them being fulfilled
May 9 eve
Today also couldn't speak to L. Guess have to postpone to next week.
Today concall with our regional office and she was her usual blur self
Call the other guy that I didn't recruit as I think he couldn't fit in, too rough. He got a job now with cooking oil company. So I was right. Just have to trust the abundance. And I always get good staff.
Actually I m looking for to revamp my team.
The old me would have wanted to push it so I can get it out. The new me just go with the flow. I am surprised at myself.
Now updating blog and read this.
Venus in Leo
There a tendency to censor urself by expressing a type of spontaneity u feel will be approved of. If u indulge in the fear that others may hold back their love, ignore u or judge u harshly, u experience a lack of social ease.
Inadvertently, u might manipulate others by moderating ur expressiveness in order to gain recognition. Social isolation and powerlessness ensue when u interpret others' reactions as a personal reflection.
Soul
No one commented on the sharing I did on the body pain and its associated cause.
The old me would have reacted.
The new me can see the Ego saying something..but I no longer let the tots define me.
Even the lack of response from M on the email. The old me would have reacted. The new me said will gave her till next Monday and then do a finale.
Moon in Taurus
Due to past lives of physical sensitivity and indulgence, u have strong physical desires for sensuality, touching and physical contact in this incarnation.
Once again, u are learning to accept the natural healthiness of ur needs and be open to having them fulfilled by others.
Here, as in finances, u are learning to focus less on ur needs and to be more aware of the enrichment that the universe is offering u through other people.
Moon in Taurus
Ur lesson is to learn to trust the universe and be open to the flow of money coming in and out of ur life. U can do this by not focusing so intensely on ur financial restriction and by simply being open to the universe blessing u with prosperity!
The idea is to focus ur creative mind less on financial worry and more on visualising the universe pouring money on u and ur joyful appreciation. In this way u can open urself at last to the abundance u seek.
Soul
Now updating blog and saw this..yes love and money..thats my Queen of Diamonds woes.
Now my affirmation - Abundance of love and money is mine to have.
And I can tune it to it.
I don't have it now but at least i know it is now out there.
Also I now realised thats why I hold on, I hold on due to lack.
Today also couldn't speak to L. Guess have to postpone to next week.
Today concall with our regional office and she was her usual blur self
Call the other guy that I didn't recruit as I think he couldn't fit in, too rough. He got a job now with cooking oil company. So I was right. Just have to trust the abundance. And I always get good staff.
Actually I m looking for to revamp my team.
The old me would have wanted to push it so I can get it out. The new me just go with the flow. I am surprised at myself.
Now updating blog and read this.
Venus in Leo
There a tendency to censor urself by expressing a type of spontaneity u feel will be approved of. If u indulge in the fear that others may hold back their love, ignore u or judge u harshly, u experience a lack of social ease.
Inadvertently, u might manipulate others by moderating ur expressiveness in order to gain recognition. Social isolation and powerlessness ensue when u interpret others' reactions as a personal reflection.
Soul
No one commented on the sharing I did on the body pain and its associated cause.
The old me would have reacted.
The new me can see the Ego saying something..but I no longer let the tots define me.
Even the lack of response from M on the email. The old me would have reacted. The new me said will gave her till next Monday and then do a finale.
Moon in Taurus
Due to past lives of physical sensitivity and indulgence, u have strong physical desires for sensuality, touching and physical contact in this incarnation.
Once again, u are learning to accept the natural healthiness of ur needs and be open to having them fulfilled by others.
Here, as in finances, u are learning to focus less on ur needs and to be more aware of the enrichment that the universe is offering u through other people.
Moon in Taurus
Ur lesson is to learn to trust the universe and be open to the flow of money coming in and out of ur life. U can do this by not focusing so intensely on ur financial restriction and by simply being open to the universe blessing u with prosperity!
The idea is to focus ur creative mind less on financial worry and more on visualising the universe pouring money on u and ur joyful appreciation. In this way u can open urself at last to the abundance u seek.
Soul
Now updating blog and saw this..yes love and money..thats my Queen of Diamonds woes.
Now my affirmation - Abundance of love and money is mine to have.
And I can tune it to it.
I don't have it now but at least i know it is now out there.
Also I now realised thats why I hold on, I hold on due to lack.
North Node in Taurus - need to find out who they truly are before they can have right partner
May 9 aft
North node In Taurus
They are looking for total, permanent commitment, a mutually empowering and completely dependable.
To successfully establish this type of relationship, they must be discriminating and find someone with similar energy and values. The shared goals must be innately valuable to each of term as individuals.
For this to happen, they must first get in touch with their own values. They must become strong in themselves, aware of what they want and tune in to what is real and figure out who they are as individuals.
Soul
On hindsight now, I m glad it didn't work out with Y. He is not my match and he is going for traditional marriage. Also I m not into full vegetarian. I m not into Isha life style.
Just as I couldn't be with Z due to traditional marriage and also no Isha sadhana path.
Both of them not suitable for me.
And the old me would not be strong enough to keep to my own values. I be bulldozed by them out of fear of loss of validation.
North node in Taurus
The challenge is to establish their own energy system and figure out who they are as individuals. As their energy becomes stronger, they will automatically attract mates of similar energy with whom they can form successful partnership.
Soul
It took me four years but I finally break free from Isha volunteering life style.
Father, I m ready to move with my own life style. It's both world and spiritual.
I will always have Isha Sadhana path and my world of pleasure/senses.
They are me.
Finally see all the breakups were perfect, as it should be.
North node in Taurus
Any fields that emphasises appreciation of the physical aspect of life and five senses would be enjoyable and profitable.
Farming, construction, engineering, cooking or physical education. They are better off using their talents on something tangible value, which gives them a sense of stability.
Affirmation on self validation.
When I live by my own values, I feel good about myself
When I satisfy my own needs and the expressed needs of others, I build a stable base for relationships.
If I m comfortable, I am on path.
What others think of me is none of my business.
Soul
One of these days will start baking since I love dessert. And no one seems to be able to bake those that I like.
North node in past lives
They fed all their power, energy and charisma to their more powerful soul mate and in exchange receive validation and appreciation from that one person as acknowledgement of their worth.
Soul
No wonder I go on auto mode in local Isha. Tried a few rounds to break free and finally did.
North node in past lives
In this incarnation, therefore, when they merge too closely or quickly with another person, they experience betrayal as a warning that they should keep their own boundaries, values and spiritual ethics.
Soul
True.
Suddenly tot that's where Seven of Hearts at play when I m not keeping my own parameters.
North node In Taurus
They are looking for total, permanent commitment, a mutually empowering and completely dependable.
To successfully establish this type of relationship, they must be discriminating and find someone with similar energy and values. The shared goals must be innately valuable to each of term as individuals.
For this to happen, they must first get in touch with their own values. They must become strong in themselves, aware of what they want and tune in to what is real and figure out who they are as individuals.
Soul
On hindsight now, I m glad it didn't work out with Y. He is not my match and he is going for traditional marriage. Also I m not into full vegetarian. I m not into Isha life style.
Just as I couldn't be with Z due to traditional marriage and also no Isha sadhana path.
Both of them not suitable for me.
And the old me would not be strong enough to keep to my own values. I be bulldozed by them out of fear of loss of validation.
North node in Taurus
The challenge is to establish their own energy system and figure out who they are as individuals. As their energy becomes stronger, they will automatically attract mates of similar energy with whom they can form successful partnership.
Soul
It took me four years but I finally break free from Isha volunteering life style.
Father, I m ready to move with my own life style. It's both world and spiritual.
I will always have Isha Sadhana path and my world of pleasure/senses.
They are me.
Finally see all the breakups were perfect, as it should be.
North node in Taurus
Any fields that emphasises appreciation of the physical aspect of life and five senses would be enjoyable and profitable.
Farming, construction, engineering, cooking or physical education. They are better off using their talents on something tangible value, which gives them a sense of stability.
Affirmation on self validation.
When I live by my own values, I feel good about myself
When I satisfy my own needs and the expressed needs of others, I build a stable base for relationships.
If I m comfortable, I am on path.
What others think of me is none of my business.
Soul
One of these days will start baking since I love dessert. And no one seems to be able to bake those that I like.
North node in past lives
They fed all their power, energy and charisma to their more powerful soul mate and in exchange receive validation and appreciation from that one person as acknowledgement of their worth.
Soul
No wonder I go on auto mode in local Isha. Tried a few rounds to break free and finally did.
North node in past lives
In this incarnation, therefore, when they merge too closely or quickly with another person, they experience betrayal as a warning that they should keep their own boundaries, values and spiritual ethics.
Soul
True.
Suddenly tot that's where Seven of Hearts at play when I m not keeping my own parameters.
Monday, June 9, 2014
Awesome Shambavi Maha Mudra
May 9
Body woke up at 5.30 am and I slept back.
Woke up at 7 am upon alarm, waken from a dream.
Angarmadharna not great today, maybe because yesterday no pre-sleep session with the Shrine and also the food got loads of rice wine. But the steam clams was lovely.
Surya Kriya was good.
Breathing was lovely.
Shakti was quite good, feel the intensity.
Shambavi was awesome, my two hands holding yoga mudra came together and clapped on my back wrist; clapping happens for a long while. Towards the end open clapping. No more song but just humming of tunes.
The finale was great..
Today finished at 10.30 am. The last 2 days I m talking longer on breathing and ending after Shambavi.
Had tots of L but know that it is the end. Also tot to give her 3 days offline so she can go for interview.
My Daily Card
The Ace of Clubs
The Ace of Clubs means a strong desire for knowledge of some kind or the birth of a new idea, plan, or way of communicating with the world around you. This could also mean a desire for some specific information, for an education, or to pursue some new plans you make.
The Ace of Clubs always means a new beginning of some sort. This could be a new job idea or just embarking on a new way of thinking and communicating with others. The exact nature of the beginning will depend on the position of the card and the circumstances in your life at the time, but in general, this is a good time to plan to start something new.
Soul
Just have to execute my plan to change my second in command.
Got this from my blog in mid April:
Previous week was the outsource company and last week the accounts payable and this week was the credit control. Its like the whole department is breaking up.
I told myself I m not afraid of hard work and this too will pass. This April period is an eclipse month.
Looks like the month end truly continue till first 10 days of May. Final shake up is with my second in command, this time I want her to go.
Now I know why the issue on postponement of travel, tot of my trip to Ashram in mid June and Kailashi in August. She will be leaving sometime there. Need to handle this properly, while I may have postpone the date of trip to Ashram, not willing to forego Kailash.
On the travel plans, the plan to Bangkok already changed and then the trip to Ashram delay by one day due to stop over in Chennai.
Let see my Neptune period,
Neptune 13 May to 2 July
Ruling
Six of Clubs
Six of Clubs is the card of intuition. Its card of responsibility in speech and communication and of making compromise to maintain a peaceful surrounding. When this card shows up, situations will arise that promote bringing ur life into balance and stability. Whatever that is out of balance will have to be adjusted so there may be karmic debts to pay.
Six of Clubs in Neptune period will most likely be a pleasant period. However if u were planning a trip for this period, it may not happen.
Destiny
Six of Spades
Six of Spades is the strongest karma cards. U can expect a smoothing out of affairs in the realm of work and health.
During this period u may have a long and monotonous journey or the journey u have planned get canceled or postponed.
The steadying influence of the Six of Spades will usually counteract most proposed changes in location, work or health now.
This is an excellent influence for spiritual/intuitive studies and u may have a keen appreciation of life and the mysteries of self. Ur understanding of the laws and cause and effect will help u overcome situation of discord with others.
Body woke up at 5.30 am and I slept back.
Woke up at 7 am upon alarm, waken from a dream.
Angarmadharna not great today, maybe because yesterday no pre-sleep session with the Shrine and also the food got loads of rice wine. But the steam clams was lovely.
Surya Kriya was good.
Breathing was lovely.
Shakti was quite good, feel the intensity.
Shambavi was awesome, my two hands holding yoga mudra came together and clapped on my back wrist; clapping happens for a long while. Towards the end open clapping. No more song but just humming of tunes.
The finale was great..
Today finished at 10.30 am. The last 2 days I m talking longer on breathing and ending after Shambavi.
Had tots of L but know that it is the end. Also tot to give her 3 days offline so she can go for interview.
My Daily Card
The Ace of Clubs
The Ace of Clubs means a strong desire for knowledge of some kind or the birth of a new idea, plan, or way of communicating with the world around you. This could also mean a desire for some specific information, for an education, or to pursue some new plans you make.
The Ace of Clubs always means a new beginning of some sort. This could be a new job idea or just embarking on a new way of thinking and communicating with others. The exact nature of the beginning will depend on the position of the card and the circumstances in your life at the time, but in general, this is a good time to plan to start something new.
Soul
Just have to execute my plan to change my second in command.
Got this from my blog in mid April:
Previous week was the outsource company and last week the accounts payable and this week was the credit control. Its like the whole department is breaking up.
I told myself I m not afraid of hard work and this too will pass. This April period is an eclipse month.
Looks like the month end truly continue till first 10 days of May. Final shake up is with my second in command, this time I want her to go.
Now I know why the issue on postponement of travel, tot of my trip to Ashram in mid June and Kailashi in August. She will be leaving sometime there. Need to handle this properly, while I may have postpone the date of trip to Ashram, not willing to forego Kailash.
On the travel plans, the plan to Bangkok already changed and then the trip to Ashram delay by one day due to stop over in Chennai.
Let see my Neptune period,
Neptune 13 May to 2 July
Ruling
Six of Clubs
Six of Clubs is the card of intuition. Its card of responsibility in speech and communication and of making compromise to maintain a peaceful surrounding. When this card shows up, situations will arise that promote bringing ur life into balance and stability. Whatever that is out of balance will have to be adjusted so there may be karmic debts to pay.
Six of Clubs in Neptune period will most likely be a pleasant period. However if u were planning a trip for this period, it may not happen.
Destiny
Six of Spades
Six of Spades is the strongest karma cards. U can expect a smoothing out of affairs in the realm of work and health.
During this period u may have a long and monotonous journey or the journey u have planned get canceled or postponed.
The steadying influence of the Six of Spades will usually counteract most proposed changes in location, work or health now.
This is an excellent influence for spiritual/intuitive studies and u may have a keen appreciation of life and the mysteries of self. Ur understanding of the laws and cause and effect will help u overcome situation of discord with others.
Saturday, June 7, 2014
North Node in Aquarius - living authentically is the validation I need
May 8
Woke up at 3 am feeling hot. Body well rested. Went back to sleep and had a dream. Woke up from dream by alarm and feel bit groggy.
Did Bhoota Shuddi and sang guru pooja. Did my cat stretch these days.
Angarmadhana was okay. Seem bit out of focus cos wondering about my session today. Laugh loads and also silence period on child sitting posture. I look forward to this. Surya kriya is good.
Breathing was lovely in arashidharna posture.
Shakti was good as I was focused. Was singing in the end.
Shambavi was good. This time I can sit silently in arashidharna posture. No tot of bending forward. Just sat in arashidharna posture with breathe watching and head tilted. New experience for me. Guess turning into awareness.
Good I had switched alarm at 7.03 am so I can then sit till the very end.
May 8 aft
Now at fine dining restaurant. It's been nearly one and half years. There is smile on my face. Good food still make me happy. I feel I m back.
Just go back to what makes me happy. I m true Taurean, gourmet food makes me happy. Been a long while since I pamper myself with gourmet food.
Now that I have let go of local Isha, I m back. Even now am excited about my work. Spoke to L today and it turns out I was right. She was truly hands off.
North node in Aquarius
Life doesn't want to hurt them but they ultimately hurt themselves by resisting the timing of the universe. They are learning to accept what happens in their lives as appropriate in order to take the next step.
These folks are learning that when one door closes, another opens.
Soul
Just finished reading North node in eleventh house. Can't really identify except going with the flow, astrology inclined and new age and also on approval from others.
North node in Taurus
The Achilles' heel they need to be aware of is seeking self worth through others. ("I can only feel okay about myself through the validation of others") which can lead them into the trap of an unending search for a soul mate ("If I have this one special person's energy, I'll feel complete")
In truth, they can only achieve a sense of completeness within themselves - it will never come as a by-product of a relationship, even a soul mate.
No matter how much support or validation they get from others, they always think they need more. Infact validation from others is a false barometer of whether they are on the right track. Living according to standards they know are right for them, regardless of what others think, will help them develop a sense of self-worth.
Soul
Took me a few years and I m finally back.
A tot occurred to me. Maybe time for me to cook or bake. Looks like no one will be doing it for me.
Mmm, be good if can do with G
Woke up at 3 am feeling hot. Body well rested. Went back to sleep and had a dream. Woke up from dream by alarm and feel bit groggy.
Did Bhoota Shuddi and sang guru pooja. Did my cat stretch these days.
Angarmadhana was okay. Seem bit out of focus cos wondering about my session today. Laugh loads and also silence period on child sitting posture. I look forward to this. Surya kriya is good.
Breathing was lovely in arashidharna posture.
Shakti was good as I was focused. Was singing in the end.
Shambavi was good. This time I can sit silently in arashidharna posture. No tot of bending forward. Just sat in arashidharna posture with breathe watching and head tilted. New experience for me. Guess turning into awareness.
Good I had switched alarm at 7.03 am so I can then sit till the very end.
May 8 aft
Now at fine dining restaurant. It's been nearly one and half years. There is smile on my face. Good food still make me happy. I feel I m back.
Just go back to what makes me happy. I m true Taurean, gourmet food makes me happy. Been a long while since I pamper myself with gourmet food.
Now that I have let go of local Isha, I m back. Even now am excited about my work. Spoke to L today and it turns out I was right. She was truly hands off.
North node in Aquarius
Life doesn't want to hurt them but they ultimately hurt themselves by resisting the timing of the universe. They are learning to accept what happens in their lives as appropriate in order to take the next step.
These folks are learning that when one door closes, another opens.
Soul
Just finished reading North node in eleventh house. Can't really identify except going with the flow, astrology inclined and new age and also on approval from others.
North node in Taurus
The Achilles' heel they need to be aware of is seeking self worth through others. ("I can only feel okay about myself through the validation of others") which can lead them into the trap of an unending search for a soul mate ("If I have this one special person's energy, I'll feel complete")
In truth, they can only achieve a sense of completeness within themselves - it will never come as a by-product of a relationship, even a soul mate.
No matter how much support or validation they get from others, they always think they need more. Infact validation from others is a false barometer of whether they are on the right track. Living according to standards they know are right for them, regardless of what others think, will help them develop a sense of self-worth.
Soul
Took me a few years and I m finally back.
A tot occurred to me. Maybe time for me to cook or bake. Looks like no one will be doing it for me.
Mmm, be good if can do with G
North Node in Aquarius - to be authentic without fear
May 7 aft 1
North node in Aquarius.
They have an ability to "read the map" of the astrology chart or the tarot - alt divination base that is an objective "launching pad" from which to direct their antennae toward the universal knowledge that can helps free themselves and others.
They have great friendship karma.
Gaining knowledge is their key to freedom, showing them how to avoid defeating patterns of ego expression. In this way, they gain a measure of control over their destiny.
As they begin to observe themselves in action, watching without judging, they gain the perspective to authentically be themselves without fear.
Soul
Amen. On the right track.
North node in Aquarius
Aligning with the flow
They are learning to recognise that if they can't make progress on a current project, the universe is trying to send them in a different direction. They should allow the flow of natural events to show them where to put their energy and time, rather than trying to dictate those decisions from their own point of view. If something doesn't turn out the way they want it, perhaps the outcome is destined to be something they aren't yet aware of.
Soul
Yes, trust the flow. Coincidentally that's the message I received this morning.
On the work area, for the first time we are turning operational focus which is my passion.
North node in Aquarius.
They have an ability to "read the map" of the astrology chart or the tarot - alt divination base that is an objective "launching pad" from which to direct their antennae toward the universal knowledge that can helps free themselves and others.
They have great friendship karma.
Gaining knowledge is their key to freedom, showing them how to avoid defeating patterns of ego expression. In this way, they gain a measure of control over their destiny.
As they begin to observe themselves in action, watching without judging, they gain the perspective to authentically be themselves without fear.
Soul
Amen. On the right track.
North node in Aquarius
Aligning with the flow
They are learning to recognise that if they can't make progress on a current project, the universe is trying to send them in a different direction. They should allow the flow of natural events to show them where to put their energy and time, rather than trying to dictate those decisions from their own point of view. If something doesn't turn out the way they want it, perhaps the outcome is destined to be something they aren't yet aware of.
Soul
Yes, trust the flow. Coincidentally that's the message I received this morning.
On the work area, for the first time we are turning operational focus which is my passion.
Lunar In Scorpio - there is good in me too
May 7 aft
My Daily Card
The King of Spades
The King of Spades is the final, and most powerful card in the deck, representing both mastery of one's environment and one's self. Whenever this card appears you can bet that you will experience good fortune and results.
It is especially good for legal matters and business but can be applied to any area of life for success. It is truly the card of 'success in all things' but brings the most blessings to those who are ready and willing to take responsibility for their life and work and who can take a leadership position in their work. Remember this is a King we are talking about and every King has a kingdom.
Be prepared to take a leadership role and to live by your own wisdom when this potent card appears. Success is yours for the taking, but you have to stand up and claim it
Soul
True. need to revamp my team.
Have just spoken to my ex staff. She said 60 to 70% need to be hands on.
She said she was there was proper handover so not sure why L took so long in getting hands on.
Anyway, I will downgrade the position to manager level as hands on reporting required,
Lunar in Scorpio
As u learn to trust urself u will know that u are strong enough to get back up again if you fail. U are beginning to realise that u don't need the support of all those around u because u are a mountain of power within urself. When u connect with the power within and learn to go with ur natural inborn flow, u will find that the universe does support u and there is good in the world - and in u. That is what u are here to learn: discovery and belief in ur own goodness.
Soul
True, I am no longer afraid of changing the second in command role.
Finally know I am truly good in what i do.
Since I m the head, it is my prerogative to change to what I need.
As for L, maybe she need this push to find her own set up. To be in her own space.
Also I finally realised I m truly energetic..especially mental. And now need to transfer some of the energy to phsycial.
Boss too said she is not good and plan not to give her increment, which was my plan too. I told boss that I m letting her go and taking a junior staff. She said that I should take the money and upgrade my own salary. This was totally unexpected but good. There is abundance of love and money.
So today card is so true. King of Spades
My Daily Card
The King of Spades
The King of Spades is the final, and most powerful card in the deck, representing both mastery of one's environment and one's self. Whenever this card appears you can bet that you will experience good fortune and results.
It is especially good for legal matters and business but can be applied to any area of life for success. It is truly the card of 'success in all things' but brings the most blessings to those who are ready and willing to take responsibility for their life and work and who can take a leadership position in their work. Remember this is a King we are talking about and every King has a kingdom.
Be prepared to take a leadership role and to live by your own wisdom when this potent card appears. Success is yours for the taking, but you have to stand up and claim it
Soul
True. need to revamp my team.
Have just spoken to my ex staff. She said 60 to 70% need to be hands on.
She said she was there was proper handover so not sure why L took so long in getting hands on.
Anyway, I will downgrade the position to manager level as hands on reporting required,
Lunar in Scorpio
As u learn to trust urself u will know that u are strong enough to get back up again if you fail. U are beginning to realise that u don't need the support of all those around u because u are a mountain of power within urself. When u connect with the power within and learn to go with ur natural inborn flow, u will find that the universe does support u and there is good in the world - and in u. That is what u are here to learn: discovery and belief in ur own goodness.
Soul
True, I am no longer afraid of changing the second in command role.
Finally know I am truly good in what i do.
Since I m the head, it is my prerogative to change to what I need.
As for L, maybe she need this push to find her own set up. To be in her own space.
Also I finally realised I m truly energetic..especially mental. And now need to transfer some of the energy to phsycial.
Boss too said she is not good and plan not to give her increment, which was my plan too. I told boss that I m letting her go and taking a junior staff. She said that I should take the money and upgrade my own salary. This was totally unexpected but good. There is abundance of love and money.
So today card is so true. King of Spades
Byron Katie - Sadness is a mini tantrum
May 7
I didn't see wrong but her time has past. This role needs energy and she now at 43, passed the slogging time. I be kind to her and let go.
A tot came when I was lighting the shrine.
There is an abundance of love and money in the world I just need to let it flow to me.
Today practices was good. Angarmadharna was great. Can see improvement in lying down postures. Also improved in child sitting posture, laughing loads.
Breathing was lovely in arashidharna
Shakti was okay..as tots of L keeps on coming.
Shambavi was great...towards the end, I finally look up automatically and sat for a long while in arashidharna.
Today I also cried in practices.
Father, I know now of my poverty consciousness in love and money. No wonder I can't do mantra. Slowly realising I now need to go back to Law of Attraction and Byron Katie.
Byron Katie video on worst thing that can happen - whole family died
Positive tots.
It is the right moment for them to leave.
Everything is in order. Nothing out of order. And it is all for you without exception. And if u can't see it, u are going to suffer.
When something 'bad' happen like divorce or can't walk. At first suffering and anger. Many years down the road will be acceptance and for some gratefulness. Why don't we narrow down the years? Why don't we go towards acceptance? If u understand it is a friendly universe and everything is for u. When we are busy with suffering we don't give much attention to gratitude.
If I don't accept it I will suffer. Sadness is a mini tantrum
Soul
As I was watching the video, a tot occured to me that the separation of Z and Y is meant to be, everything is in order.
It took me a long while to be grateful fo the absence of Z and now the period with Y is just a shortwhile.
I am no longer sad...
Everything as it is meant to be for me.
Suddenly I realised the Universe is friendly to me...
I didn't see wrong but her time has past. This role needs energy and she now at 43, passed the slogging time. I be kind to her and let go.
A tot came when I was lighting the shrine.
There is an abundance of love and money in the world I just need to let it flow to me.
Today practices was good. Angarmadharna was great. Can see improvement in lying down postures. Also improved in child sitting posture, laughing loads.
Breathing was lovely in arashidharna
Shakti was okay..as tots of L keeps on coming.
Shambavi was great...towards the end, I finally look up automatically and sat for a long while in arashidharna.
Today I also cried in practices.
Father, I know now of my poverty consciousness in love and money. No wonder I can't do mantra. Slowly realising I now need to go back to Law of Attraction and Byron Katie.
Byron Katie video on worst thing that can happen - whole family died
Positive tots.
It is the right moment for them to leave.
Everything is in order. Nothing out of order. And it is all for you without exception. And if u can't see it, u are going to suffer.
When something 'bad' happen like divorce or can't walk. At first suffering and anger. Many years down the road will be acceptance and for some gratefulness. Why don't we narrow down the years? Why don't we go towards acceptance? If u understand it is a friendly universe and everything is for u. When we are busy with suffering we don't give much attention to gratitude.
If I don't accept it I will suffer. Sadness is a mini tantrum
Soul
As I was watching the video, a tot occured to me that the separation of Z and Y is meant to be, everything is in order.
It took me a long while to be grateful fo the absence of Z and now the period with Y is just a shortwhile.
I am no longer sad...
Everything as it is meant to be for me.
Suddenly I realised the Universe is friendly to me...
Need to release my second in command
May 6 eve
Did my evening practices, with guru pooja and breathing. Not even breathing, I was zone out. At first couldn't go into Shoonya, minutes later I went in deep.
Had some tots of L during the initial stage of practices. I knew she not suitable and its my kindness holding me back. Well, at least be upfront. Don't want to hide. Don't want to be like boss and A. With my staff K and S, I was quite frontal. With Ka it took me awhile but finally I exploded.
For L, it is already brewing and today I can feel it most. My tot is just to give her 3 months. I plan to hold back the increment and to give her 3 months later.
Guess I was wrong in assessment. I recalled I did ask her if she can roll up her sleeve to do the cleaning up and she said yes and infact gave example of the clean up she did previously but she didn't. What she lacked was energy. So I was right.
L has now become a burden instead of support. With the ex staff, she at least handled her own things. So W too hands on and didn't ask her staff to do and L too hands off and everything delegated. So her staff feel she is a burden rather than helper.
Also I discover she is slow to pick up. So all in all low energy. Also now looking at the things on hand, no point hiring Senior as we need a worker rather than head. We need someone hands on and diligent.
Did my evening practices, with guru pooja and breathing. Not even breathing, I was zone out. At first couldn't go into Shoonya, minutes later I went in deep.
Had some tots of L during the initial stage of practices. I knew she not suitable and its my kindness holding me back. Well, at least be upfront. Don't want to hide. Don't want to be like boss and A. With my staff K and S, I was quite frontal. With Ka it took me awhile but finally I exploded.
For L, it is already brewing and today I can feel it most. My tot is just to give her 3 months. I plan to hold back the increment and to give her 3 months later.
Guess I was wrong in assessment. I recalled I did ask her if she can roll up her sleeve to do the cleaning up and she said yes and infact gave example of the clean up she did previously but she didn't. What she lacked was energy. So I was right.
L has now become a burden instead of support. With the ex staff, she at least handled her own things. So W too hands on and didn't ask her staff to do and L too hands off and everything delegated. So her staff feel she is a burden rather than helper.
Also I discover she is slow to pick up. So all in all low energy. Also now looking at the things on hand, no point hiring Senior as we need a worker rather than head. We need someone hands on and diligent.
North Node in Aquarius - A "NO" means they need to expand their vision
May 6 mor
North node in Aquarius
These people are learning to trust the flow. They are very generous and life responds to them with generosity.
If they don't get their way - or if someone says "no" to them - they need to expand their vision to see what other opportunity life is bringing. They must let go of their limited picture of what will make them happy and be open to life's bounty - then a wealth of new experiences will bring them unexpected pleasures.
Soul
I know that in career. Now need to bring same faith in romantic arena.
Aft
North node in Taurus
They had too many lifetimes of being the center stage and having constant public attention, so in this incarnation part of them resists being in that position. Fear of not playing their role correctly and inviting disapproval is a great emotional risk, and now they are generally not rewarded when they take 'star' position. In this lifetime the enthusiastic applause of others does not nurture these folks. They are great audience member, supporting others in taking center stage.
Soul
Totally true. Father, another affirmation on my exit from local Isha, exit from being a guide, from being a lead. Today with Five of Spades, decided to inform V that I m completely out.
North node in Aquarius
Approval is like food for them. Conversely, their fear of disapproval may be so enormous that they avoid sharing their true opinions or feelings.
Soul
Tot of Y, very true for him, with South Node in Aquarius.
For me too in many aspects. Suddenly remember Z with north node in Aquarius.
North node in Aquarius
These people are learning to trust the flow. They are very generous and life responds to them with generosity.
If they don't get their way - or if someone says "no" to them - they need to expand their vision to see what other opportunity life is bringing. They must let go of their limited picture of what will make them happy and be open to life's bounty - then a wealth of new experiences will bring them unexpected pleasures.
Soul
I know that in career. Now need to bring same faith in romantic arena.
Aft
North node in Taurus
They had too many lifetimes of being the center stage and having constant public attention, so in this incarnation part of them resists being in that position. Fear of not playing their role correctly and inviting disapproval is a great emotional risk, and now they are generally not rewarded when they take 'star' position. In this lifetime the enthusiastic applause of others does not nurture these folks. They are great audience member, supporting others in taking center stage.
Soul
Totally true. Father, another affirmation on my exit from local Isha, exit from being a guide, from being a lead. Today with Five of Spades, decided to inform V that I m completely out.
North node in Aquarius
Approval is like food for them. Conversely, their fear of disapproval may be so enormous that they avoid sharing their true opinions or feelings.
Soul
Tot of Y, very true for him, with South Node in Aquarius.
For me too in many aspects. Suddenly remember Z with north node in Aquarius.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Abundance of love and money is mine to have
May 6
Today practices was lovely. Throughout the session body automatically sits on arashidharna posture. It just sat up straight.
Angarmadhana was good. Have improved most postures. Even the one feet balancing was good.
Surya Kriya was good too.
Had quick Shavasana for both Angarmadhana and Surya Kriya. Breathing meditation was lovely. Just sat automatically in arashidharna.
Shakti was okay. Lost in tot in Kapala Bhakti over food and work.
Shambavi was good. Towards the end pleasure point was activated and I had visuals of Z and I but this time I didn't follow it and instead redirect the energy towards the upper level.
After watching yesterday Esther's video I changed my affirmation towards something that I resonate. Instead of saying "I have abundance", I now said "Abundance is mine to have".
North node in Aquarius (11th house)
Their primary lesson is to transform their overactive ego into a vehicle for furthering the evolution of humankind. To rein in the ego requires a spiritual connection and strong self discipline. They simply must not allow themselves to indulge in petty, negative emotional state. Those patterns of thinking feed their egos and hurt their hearts. Others may get away with it but these natives don't. They have an over abundance of highly charged creative emotional energy and whatever they focus on expands and assumes a life of its own. They must turn their backs on tots that promote envy, arrogance and pride - it is dangerous for them to indulge in any negativity.
When things don't go their way, they tend to blame themselves or others for the outcome and become very frustrated. This is the time to stop bombardment of negative tots and remind themselves: I don't know what ought to be". That tot, summoned at key moments, stop their runaway tots.
Soul
At first I said nope. I don't have superego. Then a tot came, u took personal responsibility for work and local Isha, that's ego. U think good or bad outcome is due to u.
My Saturn in Seven of Clubs and Cosmic lesson in Seven of Spades
This is also the same Fighting card, for the week.
North node in Aquarius
Affirmation are excellent in helping them break free from negative tots.
Soul
Use to resist. But now that I know I had such affirmation but now I do.
Time to go back to Law of Attraction. Now that I know I truly enable those relationships that I don't like, I will change it to enable what I want.
North node in Aquarius
They can also work to free themselves from ego entrapment by ceasing to judge and compare themselves. They always lose when they judge in way that's makes them superior or inferior; because it precludes any true connection not mutual support. And if they resent someone who is close to them, they do not feel good about themselves.
To avoid falling into this trap, they need to recognise when it's happening and immediately substitute other tots.
They also need to recognise that the struggle is the same for everyone. If they are able to look beyond external appearances and realise that we all share the same struggle, they will relax and feel equal with others again.
Soul
I did that especially asking and wondering about others values.
So true. Father, took me years but I can now see it
Today practices was lovely. Throughout the session body automatically sits on arashidharna posture. It just sat up straight.
Angarmadhana was good. Have improved most postures. Even the one feet balancing was good.
Surya Kriya was good too.
Had quick Shavasana for both Angarmadhana and Surya Kriya. Breathing meditation was lovely. Just sat automatically in arashidharna.
Shakti was okay. Lost in tot in Kapala Bhakti over food and work.
Shambavi was good. Towards the end pleasure point was activated and I had visuals of Z and I but this time I didn't follow it and instead redirect the energy towards the upper level.
After watching yesterday Esther's video I changed my affirmation towards something that I resonate. Instead of saying "I have abundance", I now said "Abundance is mine to have".
North node in Aquarius (11th house)
Their primary lesson is to transform their overactive ego into a vehicle for furthering the evolution of humankind. To rein in the ego requires a spiritual connection and strong self discipline. They simply must not allow themselves to indulge in petty, negative emotional state. Those patterns of thinking feed their egos and hurt their hearts. Others may get away with it but these natives don't. They have an over abundance of highly charged creative emotional energy and whatever they focus on expands and assumes a life of its own. They must turn their backs on tots that promote envy, arrogance and pride - it is dangerous for them to indulge in any negativity.
When things don't go their way, they tend to blame themselves or others for the outcome and become very frustrated. This is the time to stop bombardment of negative tots and remind themselves: I don't know what ought to be". That tot, summoned at key moments, stop their runaway tots.
Soul
At first I said nope. I don't have superego. Then a tot came, u took personal responsibility for work and local Isha, that's ego. U think good or bad outcome is due to u.
My Saturn in Seven of Clubs and Cosmic lesson in Seven of Spades
This is also the same Fighting card, for the week.
North node in Aquarius
Affirmation are excellent in helping them break free from negative tots.
Soul
Use to resist. But now that I know I had such affirmation but now I do.
Time to go back to Law of Attraction. Now that I know I truly enable those relationships that I don't like, I will change it to enable what I want.
North node in Aquarius
They can also work to free themselves from ego entrapment by ceasing to judge and compare themselves. They always lose when they judge in way that's makes them superior or inferior; because it precludes any true connection not mutual support. And if they resent someone who is close to them, they do not feel good about themselves.
To avoid falling into this trap, they need to recognise when it's happening and immediately substitute other tots.
They also need to recognise that the struggle is the same for everyone. If they are able to look beyond external appearances and realise that we all share the same struggle, they will relax and feel equal with others again.
Soul
I did that especially asking and wondering about others values.
So true. Father, took me years but I can now see it
Pluto In Virgo - being true to myself
May 5 aft
Pluto in Virgo 1957 to 1972
On order and attention to details. One of the biggest issues is addressing people who control you, which relates to Virgo wanting order. If you were born in the Pluto in Virgo generation, then there is a good chance that you have experienced repeated relationships that revolved around control. This could be with a spouse, parent, best friend, boyfriend or girlfriend. You have probably experienced numerous relationships like this and your challenge is to confront those who have been controlling you in order to end this repetitive cycle.
Some of the Pluto in Virgo generation were born to parents from the Pluto in Leo generation, who eventually divorced (or were never married to begin with). You may have assumed that most relationships end in divorce or you may have experienced divorce, yourself. In this case, your challenge is to be true to yourself without fear of being accepted by friends and family.
Soul
To be true to myself.
Teacher said he was still facing recruitment and here he faced resignation.
The old me be pleased. The new me just said I need to quit to enable new recruits.
Pluto in Virgo 1957 to 1972
On order and attention to details. One of the biggest issues is addressing people who control you, which relates to Virgo wanting order. If you were born in the Pluto in Virgo generation, then there is a good chance that you have experienced repeated relationships that revolved around control. This could be with a spouse, parent, best friend, boyfriend or girlfriend. You have probably experienced numerous relationships like this and your challenge is to confront those who have been controlling you in order to end this repetitive cycle.
Some of the Pluto in Virgo generation were born to parents from the Pluto in Leo generation, who eventually divorced (or were never married to begin with). You may have assumed that most relationships end in divorce or you may have experienced divorce, yourself. In this case, your challenge is to be true to yourself without fear of being accepted by friends and family.
Soul
To be true to myself.
Teacher said he was still facing recruitment and here he faced resignation.
The old me be pleased. The new me just said I need to quit to enable new recruits.
Eleventh House - friendship and learning to go with the flow
May 5 mor
Astrology for the soul - Jan Spiller
The sigh in which the north node falls denote the psychological shift that needs to occur within the personality. The house containing the north node shows the experiences that allow the person to access this new psychological awareness.
The house is at least of equal importance to the sign. The house position indicates the arena in which the life lessons of the North node are learned. The house is like a shell - the environment u need to support the content of the sign.
11th house
Cultivating the energy of friendship and learning to go with the flow.
Astrology for the Soul
In the beginning it can be useful to exaggerate: totally negate (in our own mind) the past life tendencies and concentrate fully on the present life qualities to be developed. Because the past life paradigms are strong and initially the individual may have to "blow them up" or walk away from them altogether just to get the energy moving in the right direction.
Soul
After sixth or seven times; its time I cut the chain with local Isha. Got to be firm like Z and Y. For now I need to find my own balance.
Today card
My Daily Card
The Five of Clubs
'Change of mind and plans' is the basic meaning of the Five of Clubs. However, any five can mean change in residence or travel opportunities. Five of Clubs can also mean a restlessness that brings up a desire to explore new realms, at least on the mental level.
Whenever this card appears, it may be a signal for a change in your life. You will likely feel a dissatisfaction with things as they are and want to progress into new areas. Be open to new plans, new ideas, new places to go, etc. The only negative side of this card is an unwillingness to commit one's self to any particular belief or philosophy.
Astrology for the soul - Jan Spiller
The sigh in which the north node falls denote the psychological shift that needs to occur within the personality. The house containing the north node shows the experiences that allow the person to access this new psychological awareness.
The house is at least of equal importance to the sign. The house position indicates the arena in which the life lessons of the North node are learned. The house is like a shell - the environment u need to support the content of the sign.
11th house
Cultivating the energy of friendship and learning to go with the flow.
Astrology for the Soul
In the beginning it can be useful to exaggerate: totally negate (in our own mind) the past life tendencies and concentrate fully on the present life qualities to be developed. Because the past life paradigms are strong and initially the individual may have to "blow them up" or walk away from them altogether just to get the energy moving in the right direction.
Soul
After sixth or seven times; its time I cut the chain with local Isha. Got to be firm like Z and Y. For now I need to find my own balance.
Today card
My Daily Card
The Five of Clubs
'Change of mind and plans' is the basic meaning of the Five of Clubs. However, any five can mean change in residence or travel opportunities. Five of Clubs can also mean a restlessness that brings up a desire to explore new realms, at least on the mental level.
Whenever this card appears, it may be a signal for a change in your life. You will likely feel a dissatisfaction with things as they are and want to progress into new areas. Be open to new plans, new ideas, new places to go, etc. The only negative side of this card is an unwillingness to commit one's self to any particular belief or philosophy.
Unless we change, we attract the same people
May 5
Woke up feeling okay but hot. It's now humid. Below are the tots that flow in.
I got unwilling people cos I m all too willing. I take personal responsibility for what happen to local Isha.
Just as M being so hardworking and smart attracts such laziness in people.
Just as G being so motherly and spoil others and attracts such irresponsible/spoilt people who can't or won't take care of themselves.
A vicious cycle. Unless we change our surrounding won't change.
Father, what's on my love life.
Just finished my practices. Did Bhoota Shuddi followed by Guru pooja and cat stretch. Have now incorporated cat stretch ever since I know its not just for warming up but also for opening up our Nadi and makes the practices more fruitful.
Angarmadhana is good. I improved loads. Today sitting as a child, laughing loads and start to sing. When it sang the goodbye song, I cut it and sang the "love me song", this time I can see that is also asking for love. The song "love is higher than mountain" also saying love is difficult. All the songs I sang during practices are portrayal of poverty in love. Inside me I don't seem to think I have love.
My songs denote poverty consciousness on love. My mantra should be "I have abundance of love and money".
Tot of local Isha. Because I take personal responsibility, I go extra miles. And after stretching myself continuously, wondering why others don't come in, resentment arise. The others don't take personal responsibility. That's why they are not attached to outcome. They just volunteer when they want to. Because I m attached to local Isha I put myself out personally.
Just like in corporate career, where I used to take personal responsibility for negative happenings at the office. I no longer took personal responsibility when I remind myself that I m just finance head not the managing director. Many business issue not under my control.
Just like local Isha I tot I can't back out. Key point is I took personal responsibility instead of group responsibility. Hence I felt the burden whereas others don't. When something drop, I be the first to take it up. Others wait. That's what I got to do. Father, this is also a case of drawing parameters; having boundaries.
I truly over stretched myself.
Woke up feeling okay but hot. It's now humid. Below are the tots that flow in.
I got unwilling people cos I m all too willing. I take personal responsibility for what happen to local Isha.
Just as M being so hardworking and smart attracts such laziness in people.
Just as G being so motherly and spoil others and attracts such irresponsible/spoilt people who can't or won't take care of themselves.
A vicious cycle. Unless we change our surrounding won't change.
Father, what's on my love life.
Just finished my practices. Did Bhoota Shuddi followed by Guru pooja and cat stretch. Have now incorporated cat stretch ever since I know its not just for warming up but also for opening up our Nadi and makes the practices more fruitful.
Angarmadhana is good. I improved loads. Today sitting as a child, laughing loads and start to sing. When it sang the goodbye song, I cut it and sang the "love me song", this time I can see that is also asking for love. The song "love is higher than mountain" also saying love is difficult. All the songs I sang during practices are portrayal of poverty in love. Inside me I don't seem to think I have love.
My songs denote poverty consciousness on love. My mantra should be "I have abundance of love and money".
Tot of local Isha. Because I take personal responsibility, I go extra miles. And after stretching myself continuously, wondering why others don't come in, resentment arise. The others don't take personal responsibility. That's why they are not attached to outcome. They just volunteer when they want to. Because I m attached to local Isha I put myself out personally.
Just like in corporate career, where I used to take personal responsibility for negative happenings at the office. I no longer took personal responsibility when I remind myself that I m just finance head not the managing director. Many business issue not under my control.
Just like local Isha I tot I can't back out. Key point is I took personal responsibility instead of group responsibility. Hence I felt the burden whereas others don't. When something drop, I be the first to take it up. Others wait. That's what I got to do. Father, this is also a case of drawing parameters; having boundaries.
I truly over stretched myself.
Choosing to ignore challenges led to regret
May 4
From facebook..rebelle society or tinybuddha
I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself. ~ Rita Mae Brown
In fact I have a feeling that more often than we realize the reluctance to pursue growth opportunities is less about those fears we talk about so often – fear of failure, change and success – than it is about the fear of no longer fitting in. After all, when those with whom you spend your time are content where they are, and you suddenly decide to rock the boat by reaching for something more – daring to stand out – that can sometimes make people very uncomfortable, especially if they harbor secret longings of their own they’ve never had the courage to pursue.
If you are at all self aware, there will inevitably come a turning point when you realize you can no longer ignore the inner tugging and you must choose; follow your own path and dare to be uncommon, or avoid change, ignore the challenge, and remain comfortable.
The problem is both of these choices involve great risk. It is true that if you risk change and challenging the unknown you may not succeed, in fact you may outright fail, though you surely will grow in the process. But choosing to ignore your inner desire may be the greatest risk of all, leaving you to spend the rest of your days wondering what might have been.
May 4 eve
Sadhguru's Spinal step
If ur experience is determined by anything other than urself, u naturally avoid unpleasant experience and go after pleasant experience. Once u divide experience into two, then knowing the divinity becomes difficult.
In ur consciousness, if u divide the world then it is difficult to grab everything. Either everything is urs and nothing is urs.
Dividing the world is a survival mode.
Only if you can determine ur nature of ur inner experience then u can be truly inclusive.
Spine itself doesn't know anything but it is conducting everything. If u have a little mastery over how it is being conducted then u can live. If ur experience is accidental, then ur experience will be a calamity. Once the fear of what will happen is in ur mind, u no longer dare to experience life
From facebook..rebelle society or tinybuddha
I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself. ~ Rita Mae Brown
In fact I have a feeling that more often than we realize the reluctance to pursue growth opportunities is less about those fears we talk about so often – fear of failure, change and success – than it is about the fear of no longer fitting in. After all, when those with whom you spend your time are content where they are, and you suddenly decide to rock the boat by reaching for something more – daring to stand out – that can sometimes make people very uncomfortable, especially if they harbor secret longings of their own they’ve never had the courage to pursue.
If you are at all self aware, there will inevitably come a turning point when you realize you can no longer ignore the inner tugging and you must choose; follow your own path and dare to be uncommon, or avoid change, ignore the challenge, and remain comfortable.
The problem is both of these choices involve great risk. It is true that if you risk change and challenging the unknown you may not succeed, in fact you may outright fail, though you surely will grow in the process. But choosing to ignore your inner desire may be the greatest risk of all, leaving you to spend the rest of your days wondering what might have been.
May 4 eve
Sadhguru's Spinal step
If ur experience is determined by anything other than urself, u naturally avoid unpleasant experience and go after pleasant experience. Once u divide experience into two, then knowing the divinity becomes difficult.
In ur consciousness, if u divide the world then it is difficult to grab everything. Either everything is urs and nothing is urs.
Dividing the world is a survival mode.
Only if you can determine ur nature of ur inner experience then u can be truly inclusive.
Spine itself doesn't know anything but it is conducting everything. If u have a little mastery over how it is being conducted then u can live. If ur experience is accidental, then ur experience will be a calamity. Once the fear of what will happen is in ur mind, u no longer dare to experience life
Lunar In Scorpio - remember that I am a mountain of power within
May 3 eve
Lunar in Scorpio
As u learn to trust urself, u will know that u are strong enough to get back up again if u fall. U r beginning to realise that u don't need the support of others because u are a mountain of power within urself.
Soul
This is what Today King of Hearts is key for me. The old me would be 'weak' and succumb to my need to bond. I admit there was a tinge and luckily my brother already bought movie ticket for family.
So today I said nope. Got to be sensible. Got to be firm like what Z and Y was to me.
My left elbow joint is swelling. This is first time. Not sure due to angarmadhana or rheumatoid arthritis.
Now checking my cards for the coming Neptune period. Took a peek at Y's card. Yes, Results Ten of Hearts can mean marriage. Also got King of Hearts in Neptune for unexpected pregnancy. Next year challenge is King of Hearts - handling fatherhood. So fast turnaround but he be fine.
This time just see this as his life and I know that's not my path. I don't know what's mine but I know what's not. Just like Z was into children so is Y. Queen of Hearts and Moon in Leo loves children. And he be a great father just like Z.
Mmm, both the guys I was attracted to have great father attribute. I recalled that I have some father issue. I m not close to dad, never was. To me he was just a provider. Also part of me judge him for his lower emotional control. Now he is bed ridden and can't speak. I don't look in on him. To me, he is even further away than before.
Lunar in Scorpio
As u learn to trust urself, u will know that u are strong enough to get back up again if u fall. U r beginning to realise that u don't need the support of others because u are a mountain of power within urself.
Soul
This is what Today King of Hearts is key for me. The old me would be 'weak' and succumb to my need to bond. I admit there was a tinge and luckily my brother already bought movie ticket for family.
So today I said nope. Got to be sensible. Got to be firm like what Z and Y was to me.
My left elbow joint is swelling. This is first time. Not sure due to angarmadhana or rheumatoid arthritis.
Now checking my cards for the coming Neptune period. Took a peek at Y's card. Yes, Results Ten of Hearts can mean marriage. Also got King of Hearts in Neptune for unexpected pregnancy. Next year challenge is King of Hearts - handling fatherhood. So fast turnaround but he be fine.
This time just see this as his life and I know that's not my path. I don't know what's mine but I know what's not. Just like Z was into children so is Y. Queen of Hearts and Moon in Leo loves children. And he be a great father just like Z.
Mmm, both the guys I was attracted to have great father attribute. I recalled that I have some father issue. I m not close to dad, never was. To me he was just a provider. Also part of me judge him for his lower emotional control. Now he is bed ridden and can't speak. I don't look in on him. To me, he is even further away than before.
Fitness level improved after Angarmardhana
May 3
Today yoga namaskar and surya kriya was effortless. No longer feel the stretch when I squat and put up my hands.
Shakti was good, finally can do my slow Kapala Bhakti. Towards the end quiet contentment. I was surprised that I was laughing loads while doing my prayer of thanks. Everything is okay.
Just back from swim. My best ever swim it was effortless. When I step in to swim free style, I was floating at ease. I felt so freed.
I swim a few laps without doing my normal stop. When I reach the end of lap, body said just go. Breathe was easy too. I also focus on my head on the water below.
Father, I felt so freed. There is a lightness to my body. After my swim I shower and look at my body, my lower half looks smallest that I have ever seen before.
Evening
Saw the messages that they be going for volunteering. Part of me want to join out of bonding but I stop myself. Be sensible. Besides its nearly one hour ride from my house.
Won't even go when mom asked me too
My Daily Card in Uranus
The King of Hearts
The King of Hearts, being the highest card in the suit of love, rules through love, compassion and wisdom. He has all the power and knowledge of love and knows how to use it, thus when this card appears, it gives you the opportunity to have more control over your feelings and romantic impulses. This will bring more success in all your personal relationships. For men, this is also the card of the loving father and of sexual enjoyment. Thus, it can indicate the conception or birth of a child.
For ladies, the King of Hearts represents the perfect lover or companion and so it often indicates having an enjoyable sexual relationship or in some cases, marriage. But for all of us, the King of Hearts brings success in dealing with our own emotions, success with the public and in any of the artistic fields and romantic success in one form or another.
Soul
Today emotion is good. Guess thats why I was so balanced in the pool.
Today I feel safe.
Today I feel that the water support me...that life support me..
I just have to trust the water, just as I have to trust life.
I don't know the future but I know I am now safe.
Today yoga namaskar and surya kriya was effortless. No longer feel the stretch when I squat and put up my hands.
Shakti was good, finally can do my slow Kapala Bhakti. Towards the end quiet contentment. I was surprised that I was laughing loads while doing my prayer of thanks. Everything is okay.
Just back from swim. My best ever swim it was effortless. When I step in to swim free style, I was floating at ease. I felt so freed.
I swim a few laps without doing my normal stop. When I reach the end of lap, body said just go. Breathe was easy too. I also focus on my head on the water below.
Father, I felt so freed. There is a lightness to my body. After my swim I shower and look at my body, my lower half looks smallest that I have ever seen before.
Evening
Saw the messages that they be going for volunteering. Part of me want to join out of bonding but I stop myself. Be sensible. Besides its nearly one hour ride from my house.
Won't even go when mom asked me too
My Daily Card in Uranus
The King of Hearts
The King of Hearts, being the highest card in the suit of love, rules through love, compassion and wisdom. He has all the power and knowledge of love and knows how to use it, thus when this card appears, it gives you the opportunity to have more control over your feelings and romantic impulses. This will bring more success in all your personal relationships. For men, this is also the card of the loving father and of sexual enjoyment. Thus, it can indicate the conception or birth of a child.
For ladies, the King of Hearts represents the perfect lover or companion and so it often indicates having an enjoyable sexual relationship or in some cases, marriage. But for all of us, the King of Hearts brings success in dealing with our own emotions, success with the public and in any of the artistic fields and romantic success in one form or another.
Soul
Today emotion is good. Guess thats why I was so balanced in the pool.
Today I feel safe.
Today I feel that the water support me...that life support me..
I just have to trust the water, just as I have to trust life.
I don't know the future but I know I am now safe.
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