Still seeking validation

Jul 27 eve

Shared with my friend PY on the past remnants of Z is gone. She too faced similar past. She met her ex boyfriend and was surprised it was gone. The past is over. She is glad he is not part of her life now nor future. Yes, me too as I can't see Z with me at all. The guy I had fallen in love was not there. This is just a middle aged guy into material comfort.

Today got conned with online payment for India visa.
Feel foolish since not the first time to apply. But I also realised immediately after payment that something is wrong.

Hope to get refund from credit card after session with India Visa office tomorrow.


(Sept 26 - false alarm, it was a real company; got my refund one month later)

Glad friend P was here, feel better after her sympathy. I did call the other P to warn about others but not only didn't return call, didn't even reply message. That's disappointing. Again reminder that she is just a meditator friend for Isha activities, not a close friend so I won't expect response from her. (Me and my rejection issue)

Sannidhi Pooja started okay. Then later I cried during Brahmananda. Cried cos feel alone with my foolishness.
But do recall the Nine of Diamonds. It's only little money. Hope this means my request for reimbursement of Homepathy medication be approved.

Later did Devi chanting. Cried even more. Then just sat with Devi. Once calmer went into deep Shoonya. Feel cleansed.