Z is also my mirror in North Node and South node houses - I finally forgive myself on Z

May 25 eve
Had quite a lot of fish and some mince meat and prawn today.
Just now for dinner, I took 2 pieces of the fish stuffing. I heated it up but body says no and I just can't eat it.
Today my enjoyment was time spent with my family.

Father, truly lost my attachment to food. I have slowly but surely comes to acceptance that food is no longer love to me.

Finished watching 2 hours of Korean drama. Saw a gal who offer herself to the man and was willing to settle for anything. Reminds me of myself, but this time didn't feel so sad. Instead I focus on the other couple who had many difficulties but willing to overcome for their love. In the end, whatever the difficulties, if Z truly love me, he will overcome it. Alas, he just ran.

Father, I m ready for new love.

Now continue to read north node in Aquarius, north node in 11th house. I can identify with the need for validation. It gives a more detailed behind the scene of why I need validation. It also reaffirms my lifetime challenge of Seven of Hearts.

Astrology for the Soul
The sign in which the North node falls denotes the psychological shift that needs to occur within the personality.
The house containing the North node shows the experiences that allow the person to access this new psychological awareness.

The house is at least of equal importance to the sign. The house position indicates the arena.

If the sign of ur north node is the same sign as the house containing ur north node, it means double intensity.

Soul
I missed this in 2 readings. The first time I read for Z and my compatibility. Second time for why Z and I cannot be. Now finally I m reading it with open eyes and saw this.

North node in Taurus; 11th house in Aquarius (which is Z's north node)

South node in Scorpio; 5th house in Leo (which is Z's south node)

Father, I laughed when I saw this. Z and I are truly mirror to each other.

Five of Spades
There is certain amount if restlessness and the desire for change or travel.
Unexpected event rock ur expectations but also bring in good things u have not tot about.

Soul
Very true. This finding opens up another dimension in me. Alas all judgement of why I was with Z now clears. Z is meant for me to open me up. It is destined. I could not have prevented it; it is meant for the growth of my soul; it is meant as a blessing. Amen.
Finally I forgive myself for Z.

Alas, finally I feel the Breakthrough card this week. I can feel something opens up in me. Amen.