Mar 27 eve
http://www.the-soulmate-site.com/north-node.html
Three steps to activating your soul mission
Here, I'll call your North Node your soul mission, and your South Node your talents and karma.
First,
appreciate the talents you've mastered over lifetimes, represented by
your South Node. They're the foundation from which you'll launch your
future.
Second, own your karma by consciously acknowledging the flip
side of your talents represented by your South Node: those ingrained
not-so-lovely habits which has likely created some karma. THIS is the
energy that keeps you stuck. It's your ‘Achilles Heel’. And — it's
always the 180 degree opposite to your soul mission.
Third, step into
your soul mission by adopting new EMOTIONAL RESPONSES, ATTITUDES and
ENERGY in the AREAS OF LIFE represented by your North Node.
Emotional responses, attitudes and energy to adopt
♈ Aries “I am”
♉ Taurus “I have”
♊ Gemini “I think”
♋ Cancer “I feel”
♌ Leo “I will”
♍ Virgo “I analyze”
♎ Libra “I balance”
♏ Scorpio “I desire”
♐ Sagittarius “I understand”
♑ Capricorn “I use”
♒ Aquarius “I know”
♓ Pisces “I believe”
Soul
Yes..I tot I don't have financial reserve..but I have..
I tot I don't have emotional security..but I have..
I tot that I don't have love..but I have..
Your North Node house
Life issues to explore. Note! You must have your birth time for
these to be accurate.
First house: “Your true, authentic Self re-born and expressed fully”
Second house: “Your self worth and its expression in the material world”
Third house: “In the moment communication and your environment”
Fourth house: “Family, physical home and emotional foundations”
Fifth house: “Birth children, heart expression and manifestation”
Sixth house: “Your work, health, pets and how you give service”
Seventh house: “Your relationships with others including marriage and business”
Eighth house: “Your intimate relationship, investors, estates, death and re-birth”
Ninth house: “Education, international travel, nature and your personal truth ”
Tenth house: “Your achievement and public reputation outside of family”
Eleventh house: “Receiving love through friendships, and like-minded groups”
Twelfth house: “Dissolving karma. Cultivating trust and faith in the unseen”
Soul
Mine is 11th house
Eleventh house: “Receiving love through friendships, and like-minded groups”
And key is I Have...
Monday, April 20, 2015
North Node in Taurus by Soulmate
Mar 27 eve
Found a new website on north node.
Its from Soulmate site..quite good
http://www.the-soulmate-site.com/north-node.html
Your True Node also called North Node by sign and house, represents your soul mission, due north or soul's journey. It pulls you toward the future.
Your South Node represents your past. Your Achilles heel, and a colourful karmic bucket of people, habits, situations and experiences from current and past lifetimes that are yours to resolve. It also represents the talents you were born with.
You'll notice right away your North Node is (likely) different than your Sun sign, a.k.a. the general astrology you read about in Cosmo or the paper.
While your Sun represents how you achieve and radiate your energy, your North and South Nodes represent the path of your soul
Why study your North Node?
Clairvoyant Edgar Cayce said that the real value of astrology is understanding our cycles of soul growth: not prediction.
So when someone is seeking their soulmate, I always encourage them to learn about their North and South Nodes. Indeed, I learn more about mine all the time (mine is Cancer in the 12th in case you're curious).
Soul
Exactly..for me the 7thunder is more for me to understand my soul growth..
South Node represents our karmic past and symbolizes innate talents. Karmically, it also represents lifetimes in which in which we've mastered certain lessons — AND where we've become so comfy, we also get stuck in the ‘lower vibration” of that sign.
For example, my South Node is Capricorn — I'm naturally precise, pragmatic and dependable. BUT! When I'm stressed I can get very strict and rigid. Capricorn is a strength for me — and an Achilles Heel.
In contrast, the North Node symbolizes the path of greatest soul growth — should we choose to accept it. ☺ In other words, it's the energy that your soul most wants you to learn, or your greatest potential in this life.
In my example, opposite to Capricorn is Cancer, so instead of being controlling and rigid, I'm here to learn how to be nurturing and emotional, while retaining the best part of Capricorn. In other words, integrating the best of both Cancer and Capricorn
http://www.the-soulmate-site.com/north-node.html
By consciously aligning yourself with your soul mission you align your personality, with your soul. This will not only make your life more meaningful and enjoyable (who doesn't want THAT), but it'll work with what your soul wants for you, instead of working against it.
Consciously working with your North Node also supercharges the law of attraction around your intended relationship.
So the more you engage your North Node, the more likely it will be that you will attract people, events and situations into your life, aligned with your soul mission: like your intended soulmate. Yes — there's a method to my madness.
Found a new website on north node.
Its from Soulmate site..quite good
http://www.the-soulmate-site.com/north-node.html
Your True Node also called North Node by sign and house, represents your soul mission, due north or soul's journey. It pulls you toward the future.
Your South Node represents your past. Your Achilles heel, and a colourful karmic bucket of people, habits, situations and experiences from current and past lifetimes that are yours to resolve. It also represents the talents you were born with.
You'll notice right away your North Node is (likely) different than your Sun sign, a.k.a. the general astrology you read about in Cosmo or the paper.
While your Sun represents how you achieve and radiate your energy, your North and South Nodes represent the path of your soul
Why study your North Node?
Clairvoyant Edgar Cayce said that the real value of astrology is understanding our cycles of soul growth: not prediction.
So when someone is seeking their soulmate, I always encourage them to learn about their North and South Nodes. Indeed, I learn more about mine all the time (mine is Cancer in the 12th in case you're curious).
Soul
Exactly..for me the 7thunder is more for me to understand my soul growth..
South Node represents our karmic past and symbolizes innate talents. Karmically, it also represents lifetimes in which in which we've mastered certain lessons — AND where we've become so comfy, we also get stuck in the ‘lower vibration” of that sign.
For example, my South Node is Capricorn — I'm naturally precise, pragmatic and dependable. BUT! When I'm stressed I can get very strict and rigid. Capricorn is a strength for me — and an Achilles Heel.
In contrast, the North Node symbolizes the path of greatest soul growth — should we choose to accept it. ☺ In other words, it's the energy that your soul most wants you to learn, or your greatest potential in this life.
In my example, opposite to Capricorn is Cancer, so instead of being controlling and rigid, I'm here to learn how to be nurturing and emotional, while retaining the best part of Capricorn. In other words, integrating the best of both Cancer and Capricorn
http://www.the-soulmate-site.com/north-node.html
By consciously aligning yourself with your soul mission you align your personality, with your soul. This will not only make your life more meaningful and enjoyable (who doesn't want THAT), but it'll work with what your soul wants for you, instead of working against it.
Consciously working with your North Node also supercharges the law of attraction around your intended relationship.
So the more you engage your North Node, the more likely it will be that you will attract people, events and situations into your life, aligned with your soul mission: like your intended soulmate. Yes — there's a method to my madness.
Being alert leads to awareness
Mar 26 mor
Secrets of yoga by Osho
Make urself more and more alert, not even a single tot passing through. This is the meaning of herenow.
If u attain to that, then u can move into the subsconscious. Then when somebody insult u, u will not only become aware only when u become angry. U will become aware immediately that a certain anger has moved into ur subsconscious depth. If u are not sensitive and aware, u will not know it.
Soul
What I know now is that whenever I didn't receive the 'welcome' that I tot should..I immediately goes into negative mode..thinking I may have 'hurt' someone or someone suddenly disliked me.
I can now see the thoughts..can't prevent it yet..but at least doesn't allow it to balloon out of proportion.
Secrets of yoga by Osho
Make urself more and more alert, not even a single tot passing through. This is the meaning of herenow.
If u attain to that, then u can move into the subsconscious. Then when somebody insult u, u will not only become aware only when u become angry. U will become aware immediately that a certain anger has moved into ur subsconscious depth. If u are not sensitive and aware, u will not know it.
Soul
What I know now is that whenever I didn't receive the 'welcome' that I tot should..I immediately goes into negative mode..thinking I may have 'hurt' someone or someone suddenly disliked me.
I can now see the thoughts..can't prevent it yet..but at least doesn't allow it to balloon out of proportion.
The Way to Love by Anthony de Mello
Mar 26
Woke up middle of the night cos too hot. I had accidentally switched off the cool air in aircond. Then woke up again before 3 am. Later finally woke up at 3.37 am. Body was fine but mind said I should be tired. Sat a bit on the toilet bowl before cold shower and hair wash.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by Angamardhana. Angamardhana was good. I took longer period in Dhynna time. Somehow I was in deep silence. Thanks to Rudraskh.
Surya Kriya was good too. 61 points awareness meditation not great cos i was lost in tots and so I took much longer. As I was about to get up hear the noise from neighbour guards opening the garden gate. Couldn't believe that it is nearly 6 am. Checked the clock and it was 5.54 am.
Did a short breathing meditation and it was good.
Shakti was good. Learning to be slower in Kapala Bhakti I was singing at the end.
Shambavi is good too.
Read this good article.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-key-to-loving-yourself-other-people-and-life/
The Way to Love, by Anthony de Mello.
Has it ever occurred to you that you can only love when you are alone? What does it mean to love? It means to see a person, a thing, a situation, as it really is and not as you imagine it to be, and to give it the response it deserves. You cannot love what you do not even see.
In learning to love myself, I realized I used people as emotional crutches in order to sustain my sense of worth.
Once I recognized this pattern and sat with the temporary guilt it elicited, I began to feel lighter. The lighter I felt, the more I loved myself. And the more I loved myself, the more I loved others.
I no longer needed them. I was now standing on my own, without crutches. In this newly found independence, there were no conditions. My happiness no longer depended on what others did or said.
Without crutches, your hands are free to extend to others. And that’s really what it means to love without attachment.
Soul
Thats my path..love without attachment.
Today tot of linking my private facebook to my blog as all my sharing is there instead of the official facebook. But this would mean opening up myself. Not sure if I m ready.
My colleague F told me that she likes reading my Facebook as it is so inspiring. In a way my Pte Facebook is similar tone to my official Facebook as I don't put my personal life inside except for food and my nephews.
Woke up middle of the night cos too hot. I had accidentally switched off the cool air in aircond. Then woke up again before 3 am. Later finally woke up at 3.37 am. Body was fine but mind said I should be tired. Sat a bit on the toilet bowl before cold shower and hair wash.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by Angamardhana. Angamardhana was good. I took longer period in Dhynna time. Somehow I was in deep silence. Thanks to Rudraskh.
Surya Kriya was good too. 61 points awareness meditation not great cos i was lost in tots and so I took much longer. As I was about to get up hear the noise from neighbour guards opening the garden gate. Couldn't believe that it is nearly 6 am. Checked the clock and it was 5.54 am.
Did a short breathing meditation and it was good.
Shakti was good. Learning to be slower in Kapala Bhakti I was singing at the end.
Shambavi is good too.
Read this good article.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-key-to-loving-yourself-other-people-and-life/
The Way to Love, by Anthony de Mello.
Has it ever occurred to you that you can only love when you are alone? What does it mean to love? It means to see a person, a thing, a situation, as it really is and not as you imagine it to be, and to give it the response it deserves. You cannot love what you do not even see.
In learning to love myself, I realized I used people as emotional crutches in order to sustain my sense of worth.
Once I recognized this pattern and sat with the temporary guilt it elicited, I began to feel lighter. The lighter I felt, the more I loved myself. And the more I loved myself, the more I loved others.
I no longer needed them. I was now standing on my own, without crutches. In this newly found independence, there were no conditions. My happiness no longer depended on what others did or said.
Without crutches, your hands are free to extend to others. And that’s really what it means to love without attachment.
Soul
Thats my path..love without attachment.
Today tot of linking my private facebook to my blog as all my sharing is there instead of the official facebook. But this would mean opening up myself. Not sure if I m ready.
My colleague F told me that she likes reading my Facebook as it is so inspiring. In a way my Pte Facebook is similar tone to my official Facebook as I don't put my personal life inside except for food and my nephews.
Z and wife truly meant for each other
Mar 25 aft
today card
My Daily Card
The Queen of Spades
The Queen of Spades is known as the card of 'self-mastery', the one that sits in the position of highest accomplishment and recognition in what we call the 'Spiritual Spread'. Whenever this card appears, we are given a special opportunity to achieve much success in our external life by mastering ourselves within. This means creating more success by changing our inner thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes instead of trying to alter our external circumstances.
The Queen of Spades is a hard-working woman card and a good manager as well so we can also expect success in work and organizational ability whenever she appears in our spreads.
Soul
Yesterday reading my colleague destiny card is good for me. I can now see that I am not an exception with all my challenges..I am not being singled out. Everyone of us have to go through the journey from the opposite end. No one has a short journey.
Mmm, was checking the cards of life...and tot of checking Z life path.
Seven of Spades
In financial matters, they are ambitious and creative. Their Jack of Diamonds card in Mars energizes finances, business deals and sales making this a supportive force for a Seven of Spades person. They might find themselves quite clever and enterprising but also need to find a level of responsibility to match it. Their Four of Diamonds in Saturn suggests being security-minded and a need for practical financial planning for best long-term results.
Soul
Looks like it is true..and financial security has always been a challenge to him. He can spend to his very last dollar.
Alas, feel better cos he still haven't change. Just saw him buying a superbike and here he told me he is no longer into money. So, he hasn't become the man I tot he was.
Financial security is an issue with me as I need high financial reserve to feel secure.
Z cannot give me financial security I need.
Suddenly tot of checking Z's wife card,
Seven of Clubs
With the active mind of a Clubs, the opportunity is to challenge negative, fearful thoughts and attune to positivity and faith. When the Seven of Clubs is not seeking the broader perspective of spiritual truth, they may be prone to depression. With the Seven of Spades in Saturn, their faith can be tested when experiencing health issues, accidents or difficult situations. Longing for stability, they must apply themselves through the power of positive, healthy thoughts.
Soul
wow, Z's wife married her Saturn card...must not be easy..luckily she has Devi with her.
Seven of Clubs
In Jupiter lies the Nine of Diamonds suggesting that their opportunity for wealth needs to be balanced with the capacity to manage it well. Coupled with an Eight of Diamonds Challenging Karma Card (-KC), there are lessons in money management and the power that it brings. It would be wise to avoid gambling or compulsive spending as this will likely bring losses.
Soul
She too have money management issue...same as my ex staff, K.
Here she married Z who also have money issue..both like to spend..
Mmmm..me back in the past..
But reading this make me appreciate that its over for me..and they truly are meant for each other.
Also led me to see that the journey of rship is for both of them....as they are each other mirror...
.....me the journey is being alone.
today card
My Daily Card
The Queen of Spades
The Queen of Spades is known as the card of 'self-mastery', the one that sits in the position of highest accomplishment and recognition in what we call the 'Spiritual Spread'. Whenever this card appears, we are given a special opportunity to achieve much success in our external life by mastering ourselves within. This means creating more success by changing our inner thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes instead of trying to alter our external circumstances.
The Queen of Spades is a hard-working woman card and a good manager as well so we can also expect success in work and organizational ability whenever she appears in our spreads.
Soul
Yesterday reading my colleague destiny card is good for me. I can now see that I am not an exception with all my challenges..I am not being singled out. Everyone of us have to go through the journey from the opposite end. No one has a short journey.
Mmm, was checking the cards of life...and tot of checking Z life path.
Seven of Spades
In financial matters, they are ambitious and creative. Their Jack of Diamonds card in Mars energizes finances, business deals and sales making this a supportive force for a Seven of Spades person. They might find themselves quite clever and enterprising but also need to find a level of responsibility to match it. Their Four of Diamonds in Saturn suggests being security-minded and a need for practical financial planning for best long-term results.
Soul
Looks like it is true..and financial security has always been a challenge to him. He can spend to his very last dollar.
Alas, feel better cos he still haven't change. Just saw him buying a superbike and here he told me he is no longer into money. So, he hasn't become the man I tot he was.
Financial security is an issue with me as I need high financial reserve to feel secure.
Z cannot give me financial security I need.
Suddenly tot of checking Z's wife card,
Seven of Clubs
With the active mind of a Clubs, the opportunity is to challenge negative, fearful thoughts and attune to positivity and faith. When the Seven of Clubs is not seeking the broader perspective of spiritual truth, they may be prone to depression. With the Seven of Spades in Saturn, their faith can be tested when experiencing health issues, accidents or difficult situations. Longing for stability, they must apply themselves through the power of positive, healthy thoughts.
Soul
wow, Z's wife married her Saturn card...must not be easy..luckily she has Devi with her.
Seven of Clubs
In Jupiter lies the Nine of Diamonds suggesting that their opportunity for wealth needs to be balanced with the capacity to manage it well. Coupled with an Eight of Diamonds Challenging Karma Card (-KC), there are lessons in money management and the power that it brings. It would be wise to avoid gambling or compulsive spending as this will likely bring losses.
Soul
She too have money management issue...same as my ex staff, K.
Here she married Z who also have money issue..both like to spend..
Mmmm..me back in the past..
But reading this make me appreciate that its over for me..and they truly are meant for each other.
Also led me to see that the journey of rship is for both of them....as they are each other mirror...
.....me the journey is being alone.
Friday, April 17, 2015
My first Rudraksh after 6 and half year in Isha.
Mar 25
Woke up in the middle of morning because of cold, so interrupted sleep. Must check the aircond setting.
Woke up upon alarm at 7 am but feeling bit tired...doze bit and woke up at 7.12 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by Guru Pooja.
Did Surya Kriya preparatory steps. Good Surya Kriya with good feet alignment. Right elbow less painful.
Yogaasanas in the standing cycle were quite good...laughing during Trikoasanas.
Today did my first Shoulder stand after nearly 5 months of stopping. It just flow naturally.
Glad to have this back. Will do the refresher with teacher in May, meanwhile just do on my own.
Yogaasanas..truly amazing...its like loving your body.
Breathing meditation was okay..
Shakti was good..first 2 cycle of Kapala Bhakti was focused..lost track in third cycle....was singing at the end.
Shambavi was good too...was singing in the end.
Ended the sadhana nearly 11 am.
A long one today.
Wore my rudraksh today...my very first.
After conditioning with milk yesterday I left it on top of Sannidhi cloth.
Feels like Sadhguru gave me...
I feel like I am married to Isha
This is an outward reflection of my inner.
Alas coming out in the open.
External influence
The Rebel
The powerful and authoritative figure in this card is clearly the master of his own destiny. On his shoulder is an emblem of the sun, and the torch he holds in his right hand symbolizes the light of his own hard-won truth. Whether he is wealthy or poor, the Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colors of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky. His very way of being is rebellious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything, but because he has discovered his own true nature and is determined to live in accordance with it. The eagle is his spirit animal, a messenger between earth and sky. The Rebel challenges us to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and to live our truth.
Soul
No longer afraid of how others perceive me.
No longer afraid of how my family judge me...if they do..
No longer afraid of being called Hinduism...
The last 2 days, opening up to a colleague who is also a friend. I can now say my truth despite fear in personal rship. For PY she said hers is opposite. She can say the truth without fear in personal and not professional rship.
A tot occured to me..
I am confident in professional rship and hence and can be fearless...whereas she is confident in personal rship and can be fearless..
Which comes first...being confident..then become fearless...or become fearless and then confidence...Guess chicken and egg.
This week What to do card is true.
4. What’s needed for resolution?
The moment you become miserly you are closed to the basic phenomenon of life: expansion, sharing. The moment you start clinging to things, you have missed the target--you have missed. Because things are not the target, you, your innermost being, is the target--not a beautiful house, but a beautiful you; not much money, but a rich you; not many things, but an open being, available to millions of things.
This card challenges us to look at what we are clinging to, and what we feel we possess that is so valuable it needs to be protected by a fortress. It needn't be a big bank balance or a box full of jewels--it could be something as simple as sharing our time with a friend, or taking the risk of expressing our love to another. Like a well that is sealed up and becomes stagnant from disuse, our treasures become tarnished and worthless if we refuse to share them. Whatever you're holding on to, remember that you can't take it with you. Loosen your grip and feel the freedom and expansiveness sharing can bring.
Woke up in the middle of morning because of cold, so interrupted sleep. Must check the aircond setting.
Woke up upon alarm at 7 am but feeling bit tired...doze bit and woke up at 7.12 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by Guru Pooja.
Did Surya Kriya preparatory steps. Good Surya Kriya with good feet alignment. Right elbow less painful.
Yogaasanas in the standing cycle were quite good...laughing during Trikoasanas.
Today did my first Shoulder stand after nearly 5 months of stopping. It just flow naturally.
Glad to have this back. Will do the refresher with teacher in May, meanwhile just do on my own.
Yogaasanas..truly amazing...its like loving your body.
Breathing meditation was okay..
Shakti was good..first 2 cycle of Kapala Bhakti was focused..lost track in third cycle....was singing at the end.
Shambavi was good too...was singing in the end.
Ended the sadhana nearly 11 am.
A long one today.
Wore my rudraksh today...my very first.
After conditioning with milk yesterday I left it on top of Sannidhi cloth.
Feels like Sadhguru gave me...
I feel like I am married to Isha
This is an outward reflection of my inner.
Alas coming out in the open.
External influence
The Rebel
The powerful and authoritative figure in this card is clearly the master of his own destiny. On his shoulder is an emblem of the sun, and the torch he holds in his right hand symbolizes the light of his own hard-won truth. Whether he is wealthy or poor, the Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colors of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky. His very way of being is rebellious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything, but because he has discovered his own true nature and is determined to live in accordance with it. The eagle is his spirit animal, a messenger between earth and sky. The Rebel challenges us to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and to live our truth.
Soul
No longer afraid of how others perceive me.
No longer afraid of how my family judge me...if they do..
No longer afraid of being called Hinduism...
The last 2 days, opening up to a colleague who is also a friend. I can now say my truth despite fear in personal rship. For PY she said hers is opposite. She can say the truth without fear in personal and not professional rship.
A tot occured to me..
I am confident in professional rship and hence and can be fearless...whereas she is confident in personal rship and can be fearless..
Which comes first...being confident..then become fearless...or become fearless and then confidence...Guess chicken and egg.
This week What to do card is true.
4. What’s needed for resolution?
The moment you become miserly you are closed to the basic phenomenon of life: expansion, sharing. The moment you start clinging to things, you have missed the target--you have missed. Because things are not the target, you, your innermost being, is the target--not a beautiful house, but a beautiful you; not much money, but a rich you; not many things, but an open being, available to millions of things.
This card challenges us to look at what we are clinging to, and what we feel we possess that is so valuable it needs to be protected by a fortress. It needn't be a big bank balance or a box full of jewels--it could be something as simple as sharing our time with a friend, or taking the risk of expressing our love to another. Like a well that is sealed up and becomes stagnant from disuse, our treasures become tarnished and worthless if we refuse to share them. Whatever you're holding on to, remember that you can't take it with you. Loosen your grip and feel the freedom and expansiveness sharing can bring.
There are similiarity between Ace (new values) and Five (changing values)
Mar 24 aft
Today see my colleague and friend PY. I can now see that she is quite smart and have her point of view.
So as I was working with her, i caution of giving my input as I can see her easily influenced.
So if she asked people, she get influenced....and since it is not her original idea...she can't explain so well..and can't defend the view point and that makes her come across as not capable or lack of confident.
So as a Five..knowing she is easily influenced...and will change direction. Best to stick to her view point and just do it eventhough not so confident...
For myself..I am Ace of Diamonds..easily get into new values..
Thats why I am adaptable...but that is also a weakness...cos then I lose track of my own values.
Just as I was adapting to former boss of wanting corporate glamour and job security....and in the end I regretted.
This time I keep to my values.
My colleague C was on money value and he said he wants to jump ship...I told him I am staying. For once I am staying cos I don't want to create more drama in my life.
Today see my colleague and friend PY. I can now see that she is quite smart and have her point of view.
So as I was working with her, i caution of giving my input as I can see her easily influenced.
So if she asked people, she get influenced....and since it is not her original idea...she can't explain so well..and can't defend the view point and that makes her come across as not capable or lack of confident.
So as a Five..knowing she is easily influenced...and will change direction. Best to stick to her view point and just do it eventhough not so confident...
For myself..I am Ace of Diamonds..easily get into new values..
Thats why I am adaptable...but that is also a weakness...cos then I lose track of my own values.
Just as I was adapting to former boss of wanting corporate glamour and job security....and in the end I regretted.
This time I keep to my values.
My colleague C was on money value and he said he wants to jump ship...I told him I am staying. For once I am staying cos I don't want to create more drama in my life.
Dilemma over staying or leaving is dwindling
Mar 24 mor
My Daily Card
The King of Clubs
The King of Clubs is the highest card in the suit of knowledge. It bestows mastery and success in any of the communications fields, but especially in situations where we are able and willing to take a leadership position or assume responsibility. Remember that every King has a kingdom. If you are involved in one of the communications related fields and are willing to stand up and take charge, there is no better card to indicate your success.
The King of Clubs is highly intuitive, can make fine mental distinctions, and will never do anything to compromise his or her integrity or inner truth. Keep these qualities in mind whenever this powerful card appears in your reading.
Queen of diamond
If they adopt a spiritual path and realise that they have a mission, they can achieve the heights of spiritual realisation and self-mastery (Queen of Spades in Neptune). This realisation will also dispel ALL of the problems they have with money and love.
Soul
My mind is made up.
I fight and stay.
what is important is my sadhana..and my off days.
Money and career prospect is not the key to me.
Whats next is up to the Universe.
My Daily Card
The King of Clubs
The King of Clubs is the highest card in the suit of knowledge. It bestows mastery and success in any of the communications fields, but especially in situations where we are able and willing to take a leadership position or assume responsibility. Remember that every King has a kingdom. If you are involved in one of the communications related fields and are willing to stand up and take charge, there is no better card to indicate your success.
The King of Clubs is highly intuitive, can make fine mental distinctions, and will never do anything to compromise his or her integrity or inner truth. Keep these qualities in mind whenever this powerful card appears in your reading.
Queen of diamond
If they adopt a spiritual path and realise that they have a mission, they can achieve the heights of spiritual realisation and self-mastery (Queen of Spades in Neptune). This realisation will also dispel ALL of the problems they have with money and love.
Soul
My mind is made up.
I fight and stay.
what is important is my sadhana..and my off days.
Money and career prospect is not the key to me.
Whats next is up to the Universe.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Bit of dilemma over the type of boss
Mar 24
Woke up around 2 am. Slept back and wake up at 3.37 am. Body is okay cos took Tumeric and honey yesterday.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by Anga. Anga was quite good. Sat a long while in Hero posture cos was lost in singing and dancing.
The Dhyna period was explosive. My head was shaking non stop and then settle in to silence. Sat for a longer period.
Surya Kriya was good. 61 points awareness meditation. I was lost in tots or may have doze. So took much longer.
Breathing was lovely. Sat for a bit. Couldn't do longer cos time is out.
Shakti was okay. Recently need toilet break. This time hold it back by reducing the Kapala Bhakti
Shambavi is good. Such contented silence. Wish I could sleep longer.
One thing I learned. Dynamic CEO vs Weak CEO. The dynamic ones excite and yet tires me out. The weak one frustrate me and give me comfort.
But the weak one is false security cos losing business.
Woke up around 2 am. Slept back and wake up at 3.37 am. Body is okay cos took Tumeric and honey yesterday.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by Anga. Anga was quite good. Sat a long while in Hero posture cos was lost in singing and dancing.
The Dhyna period was explosive. My head was shaking non stop and then settle in to silence. Sat for a longer period.
Surya Kriya was good. 61 points awareness meditation. I was lost in tots or may have doze. So took much longer.
Breathing was lovely. Sat for a bit. Couldn't do longer cos time is out.
Shakti was okay. Recently need toilet break. This time hold it back by reducing the Kapala Bhakti
Shambavi is good. Such contented silence. Wish I could sleep longer.
One thing I learned. Dynamic CEO vs Weak CEO. The dynamic ones excite and yet tires me out. The weak one frustrate me and give me comfort.
But the weak one is false security cos losing business.
Sannidhi, truly my saviour
Mar 23 eve
Today pooja was healing. Sannidhi the Best investment of my life. Gave me so much comfort.
I cried for the fear over office matters, over office closing shop, maybe me losing job or going to work for sister company.
Just cried out to Sadhguru.
Such comfort. Best 'husband' in the world. Just giving. Love Sadhguru.
Did 3 cycle of Linga chanting. Nice. Cry a bit that finally Z is gone. Cried that Z finally grew into the man that I want to marry. Someone who is loyal to spouse and family, financially stable instead of chasing big money and going into heavy financial commitment and devoted to Devi. Even attending advance Isha program. Cried that I can't have him. Cried that he is gone.
But later a tot came, we are not meant to be. What I want is for him to comfort my need for security, to give me what I want . So it is past. I can give myself what I want.
Today I am able to like his Facebook sharing. A breakthrough.
Guess me pining for Z is because of fear of losing office.
Today pooja was healing. Sannidhi the Best investment of my life. Gave me so much comfort.
I cried for the fear over office matters, over office closing shop, maybe me losing job or going to work for sister company.
Just cried out to Sadhguru.
Such comfort. Best 'husband' in the world. Just giving. Love Sadhguru.
Did 3 cycle of Linga chanting. Nice. Cry a bit that finally Z is gone. Cried that Z finally grew into the man that I want to marry. Someone who is loyal to spouse and family, financially stable instead of chasing big money and going into heavy financial commitment and devoted to Devi. Even attending advance Isha program. Cried that I can't have him. Cried that he is gone.
But later a tot came, we are not meant to be. What I want is for him to comfort my need for security, to give me what I want . So it is past. I can give myself what I want.
Today I am able to like his Facebook sharing. A breakthrough.
Guess me pining for Z is because of fear of losing office.
Finally got my own Rudraksh
Mar 22 eve
Had a good time with family. Feeling contented. Today writing freed me. Alas now accepting my aloneness path.
Just now mom said worried about me living alone. I reminded her I stayed in Europe on my own for a few months and I always travel on business trip alone. I travel to India alone. I m comfortable sleeping and eating alone. Guess now inner will match outer.
Just put ghee on the Rudraksh. Took me nearly 6 years before I accepted Rudraksh. Just want to protect my lovely energy space created from sadhana.
Suddenly tot of Y. I was direct in my feedback to her. She needs to know how we see her. No point hiding. Others not telling her. In her case, there are personal feeling and hence it took me awhile to express my professional feedback.
Yoga the science of living by Osho
Decide, whatsoever ur decision. Don't go on remaining indecisive. If u are indecisive, u will always be doing something contradictory. U will be moving in both ways together, simultaneously - because indecisive, also, u have to live. 50 percent u will be going towards the North, 50 percent you will be going towards the south. Then there is misery, anguish, suffering.
Soul
Yes, my Integration card this week. Alas my path is aloneness. I alone give myself what I need. While I m not happy per se but I have accepted my aloneness and in that acceptance I felt freed. No more waiting for anyone before I live the life I want.
Yoga the science of living by Osho
Decision is needed. U have to decide each moment. Each moment lost without decision creates fragmentariness in u. Each moment decided, by and by, u become collected, one piece, u become together. A moment comes, u become integrated. Decision is not really the thing: decisiveness. Through decisions u become decisive.
Had a good time with family. Feeling contented. Today writing freed me. Alas now accepting my aloneness path.
Just now mom said worried about me living alone. I reminded her I stayed in Europe on my own for a few months and I always travel on business trip alone. I travel to India alone. I m comfortable sleeping and eating alone. Guess now inner will match outer.
Just put ghee on the Rudraksh. Took me nearly 6 years before I accepted Rudraksh. Just want to protect my lovely energy space created from sadhana.
Suddenly tot of Y. I was direct in my feedback to her. She needs to know how we see her. No point hiding. Others not telling her. In her case, there are personal feeling and hence it took me awhile to express my professional feedback.
Yoga the science of living by Osho
Decide, whatsoever ur decision. Don't go on remaining indecisive. If u are indecisive, u will always be doing something contradictory. U will be moving in both ways together, simultaneously - because indecisive, also, u have to live. 50 percent u will be going towards the North, 50 percent you will be going towards the south. Then there is misery, anguish, suffering.
Soul
Yes, my Integration card this week. Alas my path is aloneness. I alone give myself what I need. While I m not happy per se but I have accepted my aloneness and in that acceptance I felt freed. No more waiting for anyone before I live the life I want.
Yoga the science of living by Osho
Decision is needed. U have to decide each moment. Each moment lost without decision creates fragmentariness in u. Each moment decided, by and by, u become collected, one piece, u become together. A moment comes, u become integrated. Decision is not really the thing: decisiveness. Through decisions u become decisive.
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Letting go is going with the flow
Mar 22
Wish I read this 2 years ago...
http://consciouslifenews.com/6-wish-knew-before-first-relationship/1169987/
If you love something, if you love someone, and if you feel that you need to let go of them, if it’s required to let go, do it. It might hurt at first but once the pain is gone you will feel more alive than you have ever felt. You will start to see things from a totally different perspective and you will understand that letting go is a sign of strength, of courage and of great love.
You let go of someone not because you no longer care, not because you no longer need and want them in your life, but because you understand that they will be happier someplace else. You will be happy someplace else.
This is what true love is all about.
http://www.purposefairy.com/67487/how-to-let-go-of-people-who-no-longer-need-or-want-to-be-in-your-life/
Take your focus away from those things that cause you to feel pain, stress, anxiety, fear and unhappiness, on to those things that make your heart sing, on to those things that make you happy.
This too shall pass and the more you learn to enjoy your own company, the more comfortable you will be with this idea of letting go and all of a sudden life will become a lot easier.
“Be like the forces of nature: when it blows, there is only wind; when it rains, there is only rain; when the clouds pass, the sun shines through.” ~ Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
Let go and trust that maybe life has better plans for you. Go with the flow and not against it.
Why hold on to something good when life wants you to have something better?
Soul
Wish I read this earlier. But now reading it confirmed that I was right in letting go. I did went through the pain. It was a long pain cos I was afraid that it be worse without the pain.
Got a msg from his wife on Z. I didn't tell her that I was the one who prod Z to proceed. It not my place. I just need what I had to do. I m happy for both of them. They are meant to be together just as I meant to be alone.
Just as their path is to be in rship for their growth; my path is to be alone for my growth. So it's meant to be that not one rship works for me.
Been trying to arrange for a visit to Devi but twice cancelled. I didn't push it. I begun to just go with the flow. If it's not meant to happen this two months, it won't happen. So I let it be. Finally learning to go with the flow. Learning to trust the Universe.
I recalled Z lesson for me was to Go with the Flow..took me a few years..but alas I go with the Flow..
Wish I read this 2 years ago...
http://consciouslifenews.com/6-wish-knew-before-first-relationship/1169987/
If you love something, if you love someone, and if you feel that you need to let go of them, if it’s required to let go, do it. It might hurt at first but once the pain is gone you will feel more alive than you have ever felt. You will start to see things from a totally different perspective and you will understand that letting go is a sign of strength, of courage and of great love.
You let go of someone not because you no longer care, not because you no longer need and want them in your life, but because you understand that they will be happier someplace else. You will be happy someplace else.
This is what true love is all about.
http://www.purposefairy.com/67487/how-to-let-go-of-people-who-no-longer-need-or-want-to-be-in-your-life/
Take your focus away from those things that cause you to feel pain, stress, anxiety, fear and unhappiness, on to those things that make your heart sing, on to those things that make you happy.
This too shall pass and the more you learn to enjoy your own company, the more comfortable you will be with this idea of letting go and all of a sudden life will become a lot easier.
“Be like the forces of nature: when it blows, there is only wind; when it rains, there is only rain; when the clouds pass, the sun shines through.” ~ Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
Let go and trust that maybe life has better plans for you. Go with the flow and not against it.
Why hold on to something good when life wants you to have something better?
Soul
Wish I read this earlier. But now reading it confirmed that I was right in letting go. I did went through the pain. It was a long pain cos I was afraid that it be worse without the pain.
Got a msg from his wife on Z. I didn't tell her that I was the one who prod Z to proceed. It not my place. I just need what I had to do. I m happy for both of them. They are meant to be together just as I meant to be alone.
Just as their path is to be in rship for their growth; my path is to be alone for my growth. So it's meant to be that not one rship works for me.
Been trying to arrange for a visit to Devi but twice cancelled. I didn't push it. I begun to just go with the flow. If it's not meant to happen this two months, it won't happen. So I let it be. Finally learning to go with the flow. Learning to trust the Universe.
I recalled Z lesson for me was to Go with the Flow..took me a few years..but alas I go with the Flow..
Affirming quotes on my aloneness path
Mar 22 aft
Got this from facebook
Codependency is no laughing matter…
“I learned again and again in my life, until you get your own act together, you’re not ready for Big Love. What you’re ready for is one of those codependent relationships where you desperately need a partner.” ~ Bruce Lipton
Your conscious mind controls only 5% of your life while the other 95% is controlled by your subconscious mind, to which you don’t really have access that easily
“Your life will be transformed when you make peace with your shadow. The caterpillar will become a breathtakingly beautiful butterfly. You will no longer have to pretend to be someone you’re not. You will no longer have to prove you’re good enough. When you embrace your shadow you will no longer have to life in fear. Find the gifts of your shadow and you will finally revel in all the glory of your true self. Then you will have the freedom to create the life you have always desired.” ~ Debbie Ford
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” ~ Robin Williams
Got this from facebook
Codependency is no laughing matter…
“I learned again and again in my life, until you get your own act together, you’re not ready for Big Love. What you’re ready for is one of those codependent relationships where you desperately need a partner.” ~ Bruce Lipton
Your conscious mind controls only 5% of your life while the other 95% is controlled by your subconscious mind, to which you don’t really have access that easily
“Your life will be transformed when you make peace with your shadow. The caterpillar will become a breathtakingly beautiful butterfly. You will no longer have to pretend to be someone you’re not. You will no longer have to prove you’re good enough. When you embrace your shadow you will no longer have to life in fear. Find the gifts of your shadow and you will finally revel in all the glory of your true self. Then you will have the freedom to create the life you have always desired.” ~ Debbie Ford
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” ~ Robin Williams
Co-dependency can happens in any type of relationships...
Mar 22 aft
Just shared an article on leadership for those on transitional basis.
This article is for both my boss and her second in command.
I have kept my view to myself but frankly both are not delivering their leadership.
Instead of keeping quiet, at least I shared and perhaps open up their minds. Otherwise they again give the same operational changes that is unhelpful, and we lose the major client for sure.
Don't want them just to hold the fort till the end. They must turn it around.
Uranus 52 days begin on 21 Mar to 11 May
My 52-Day Period Card
The Ten of Spades
The Ten of Spades is one of the best cards for success and satisfaction in your work and in health, though you may also expect to work very hard when it is present. Overcoming of all obstacles in work and health are the attributes of this card.
Like the Ten of Wands in the Tarot deck, your work may often seem to be a burden under this card's influence, or you may become obsessed with all the things that you have to do. This card can be a 'workaholic' kind of influence. However, if you have a list of specific goals and want to achieve them successfully, there is hardly a better card to have in your reading than this one.
Soul
Much work to be done. Can I help them, Maybe not.
But do I know what need to be done? Yes.
So, I need to voice out if I want to stay. I need to get involved.
I need not be afraid to rock the boat as the oar is already lost and we are sinking.
Time for me to come up.
My Daily Card in Neptune
The Three of Diamonds
The Three of Diamonds signifies that indecision or worry about some money matter may be a large part of your experience when this card is present. This card has such a strong creative energy associated with it that if we don't find some productive, creative outlet for its energies, we will inevitably feel afraid and indecisive. The key is to find ways to express ourselves when this card shows up.
It could also mean getting two opportunities for work at one time or having to split our time between two projects or money-making deals. Often variety can be a blessing allowing us to explore other areas. Usually, however, lack of focus brings lack of achievement or lack of detail in one project or the other. Knowing this may help you avoid wasting this invaluable creative force.
Soul
Yes..it is about money..about the company.
I expressed myself today.
Hope they can explore further with their coach. (Alas they didn't get it)
If they asked me tomorrow I will said that I don't see a transition of leadership in both of them.
Boss acting as GM instead of CEO and GM acting as CSD instead of GM.
No one carrying strategic role..both carrying operational role that overlap each other. So no new development in both of them.
Boss staying in her old zone and hence not willing to shake the GM. Also afraid of losing the GM. the truth is she can't open door...and need him to do so..
GM staying in his old zone and hence not willing to shake the Boss.
Its co-dependency..each afraid to lose each other, each afraid to grow.
Father, not sure where this goes..but I must voice out..
I must not remain in fear..I must not hold on two my comfort zone.
I must get involved, otherwise boat will sink for sure.
Besides, main thing is I expressed cos boss is definitely on the way out. At least I managed to tell my view instead of suppressing it.
Guess with boss and me, it has become personal and hence I have been keeping quiet and not expressing my professional view. I too don't want to lose my comfort that she gave me...guess it co-dependency too...
Just as I gave my professional view to my colleague and friend Y. I told her that at her role, she shouldnt be expected to be spoon fed. Her contribution is much lesser than the amount we paid. But alas the guilt lies with my boss who promoted her wrongly and didn't set the expectation on her weakness that needs to be addressed. Perhaps that was morphine too...
Soul
Yes...I truly had difficulty in personal rship.
Just because I got personal rship with both boss and Y...it was difficult for me to be direct with them.
Have still not open up to boss..but already open up to Y.
Y doesn't like my feedback..but I must do it..
Just shared an article on leadership for those on transitional basis.
This article is for both my boss and her second in command.
I have kept my view to myself but frankly both are not delivering their leadership.
Instead of keeping quiet, at least I shared and perhaps open up their minds. Otherwise they again give the same operational changes that is unhelpful, and we lose the major client for sure.
Don't want them just to hold the fort till the end. They must turn it around.
Uranus 52 days begin on 21 Mar to 11 May
My 52-Day Period Card
The Ten of Spades
The Ten of Spades is one of the best cards for success and satisfaction in your work and in health, though you may also expect to work very hard when it is present. Overcoming of all obstacles in work and health are the attributes of this card.
Like the Ten of Wands in the Tarot deck, your work may often seem to be a burden under this card's influence, or you may become obsessed with all the things that you have to do. This card can be a 'workaholic' kind of influence. However, if you have a list of specific goals and want to achieve them successfully, there is hardly a better card to have in your reading than this one.
Soul
Much work to be done. Can I help them, Maybe not.
But do I know what need to be done? Yes.
So, I need to voice out if I want to stay. I need to get involved.
I need not be afraid to rock the boat as the oar is already lost and we are sinking.
Time for me to come up.
My Daily Card in Neptune
The Three of Diamonds
The Three of Diamonds signifies that indecision or worry about some money matter may be a large part of your experience when this card is present. This card has such a strong creative energy associated with it that if we don't find some productive, creative outlet for its energies, we will inevitably feel afraid and indecisive. The key is to find ways to express ourselves when this card shows up.
It could also mean getting two opportunities for work at one time or having to split our time between two projects or money-making deals. Often variety can be a blessing allowing us to explore other areas. Usually, however, lack of focus brings lack of achievement or lack of detail in one project or the other. Knowing this may help you avoid wasting this invaluable creative force.
Soul
Yes..it is about money..about the company.
I expressed myself today.
Hope they can explore further with their coach. (Alas they didn't get it)
If they asked me tomorrow I will said that I don't see a transition of leadership in both of them.
Boss acting as GM instead of CEO and GM acting as CSD instead of GM.
No one carrying strategic role..both carrying operational role that overlap each other. So no new development in both of them.
Boss staying in her old zone and hence not willing to shake the GM. Also afraid of losing the GM. the truth is she can't open door...and need him to do so..
GM staying in his old zone and hence not willing to shake the Boss.
Its co-dependency..each afraid to lose each other, each afraid to grow.
Father, not sure where this goes..but I must voice out..
I must not remain in fear..I must not hold on two my comfort zone.
I must get involved, otherwise boat will sink for sure.
Besides, main thing is I expressed cos boss is definitely on the way out. At least I managed to tell my view instead of suppressing it.
Guess with boss and me, it has become personal and hence I have been keeping quiet and not expressing my professional view. I too don't want to lose my comfort that she gave me...guess it co-dependency too...
Just as I gave my professional view to my colleague and friend Y. I told her that at her role, she shouldnt be expected to be spoon fed. Her contribution is much lesser than the amount we paid. But alas the guilt lies with my boss who promoted her wrongly and didn't set the expectation on her weakness that needs to be addressed. Perhaps that was morphine too...
Soul
Yes...I truly had difficulty in personal rship.
Just because I got personal rship with both boss and Y...it was difficult for me to be direct with them.
Have still not open up to boss..but already open up to Y.
Y doesn't like my feedback..but I must do it..
Ace of Clubs - truly a year of new beginnings
Mar 22
Just completed the article on me finally accepting my path of being alone. Finally no longer judged myself for having to be alone. It may seem unfair but it is my past life karma as I was too much in heavy bonding and now need to be alone before I can be safe to bond with another. All the failed relationships was a blessing as I was not truly myself yet. I haven't found and lived on my true values.
I am nearly there. By age 48 in July, I will be having my new lovely condo, having my sadhana room and living on my own. All these items which were being pushed back cos I was waiting for my partner to give me.
Now one last thing..what is the right career for me.
In early 2012, my company was facing a major downturn and I jumped ship to my sister company on an expanding mode. I jumped out partly out of fear of losing financial security and also my craving for excitement in facing and overcoming new challenges, feeling ego-proud cos managing 2 companies and also finally got a CEO that I can be proud of, a Ten of Diamonds.
Alas he was my karma cousin, Six of Hearts.
I was so overwhelmed in terms of the time spent at work, could barely wake up to do my sadhana. WIthout the sadhana, my energy level gone down which further compounded my emotional stability.
Now in mid 2015 again I am facing such circumstances. Now I don't want to jump ship out of fear, out of past craving for excitement. I no longer want to create drama in my life. I know I don't want massive hours on work and I know I don't need massive money to stay comfortable. Even with the purchase of new condo, financial commitment remains the same as car loan ending just in time. I don't want my life to be driven by fear or by the past.
So, in mid 2012, i was also hoping to get support from Z but alas he broke up with me. Thats when I decide to quit as since I am not getting love from him, I can't give unhappiness to myself by continuing to work in such hectic environment that takes me away from my joyful sadhana.
Uranus period..unexpected development..and Ten of Spades come in Destiny
In Uranus Ruling, it is Ten of Diamonds and Six of Hearts, both former boss E's Ruling and Destiny card.
Now looking my Ruling card..which now reflect the inner transformation whereas Destiny reflects the outer movement.
2014/15 Ruling
Long Range
Ace of Clubs
U will have strong desire for knowledge of some kinds and that new plans, ideas and form of communication could have a major impact on u. U may throw urself into some new educational pursuit or some other Mercury-ruled activity such as writing, speaking or teaching. U may purchase a new computer or be exposed to some advanced system of knowledge. This will probably mean that u begin some new job as well. This is a powerful indicator of new beginnings in many areas of ur life.
Pluto
Queen of Spades
Somehow connected to ur result card you are attempting to develop a sense of mastery from within, a greater level of organisational ability or both. Self mastery comes from inner knowledge and self control. It is knowing u can have everything u want, not by changing the world but by changing yourself.
Result
Nine of Clubs
Much of ur challenges is to let go of outworn ideas, projects, plans or way of communicating. This is a year of completion that may at times seem like disappointing endings.
The Nine of Clubs says that u are completing a major chapter in ur life and it is time to move on to greener pastures. Be open to spiritual wisdom in all forms, as this will help make change easier.
Displacement
Six of Clubs
This card can have a powerful and positive effects on ur career and work. This could be the year that u become much better known or recognised for ur contribution.
This could be a vital time to devote some of ur resources to advertising or to getting into the media because success in these areas is almost certain. All in all, this should be a hallmark year where work is concerned.
Finally this card points to a need for more focus on one's purpose in life. This could be a year when circumstances cause u to reflect on ur life and make a sincere effort to finding the path best for u. Once that path is found, u are obligated on a spiritual level to follow it to the best of ur ability, regardless of external circumstances.
Following the path u have set for urself or just finding path that is meant for u, may be one the significant challenge of this year.
Soul
Just 3 months to go to end of my 2015 year..everything is in accordance with the cards.
Next week..will see..
Just completed the article on me finally accepting my path of being alone. Finally no longer judged myself for having to be alone. It may seem unfair but it is my past life karma as I was too much in heavy bonding and now need to be alone before I can be safe to bond with another. All the failed relationships was a blessing as I was not truly myself yet. I haven't found and lived on my true values.
I am nearly there. By age 48 in July, I will be having my new lovely condo, having my sadhana room and living on my own. All these items which were being pushed back cos I was waiting for my partner to give me.
Now one last thing..what is the right career for me.
In early 2012, my company was facing a major downturn and I jumped ship to my sister company on an expanding mode. I jumped out partly out of fear of losing financial security and also my craving for excitement in facing and overcoming new challenges, feeling ego-proud cos managing 2 companies and also finally got a CEO that I can be proud of, a Ten of Diamonds.
Alas he was my karma cousin, Six of Hearts.
I was so overwhelmed in terms of the time spent at work, could barely wake up to do my sadhana. WIthout the sadhana, my energy level gone down which further compounded my emotional stability.
Now in mid 2015 again I am facing such circumstances. Now I don't want to jump ship out of fear, out of past craving for excitement. I no longer want to create drama in my life. I know I don't want massive hours on work and I know I don't need massive money to stay comfortable. Even with the purchase of new condo, financial commitment remains the same as car loan ending just in time. I don't want my life to be driven by fear or by the past.
So, in mid 2012, i was also hoping to get support from Z but alas he broke up with me. Thats when I decide to quit as since I am not getting love from him, I can't give unhappiness to myself by continuing to work in such hectic environment that takes me away from my joyful sadhana.
Uranus period..unexpected development..and Ten of Spades come in Destiny
In Uranus Ruling, it is Ten of Diamonds and Six of Hearts, both former boss E's Ruling and Destiny card.
Now looking my Ruling card..which now reflect the inner transformation whereas Destiny reflects the outer movement.
2014/15 Ruling
Long Range
Ace of Clubs
U will have strong desire for knowledge of some kinds and that new plans, ideas and form of communication could have a major impact on u. U may throw urself into some new educational pursuit or some other Mercury-ruled activity such as writing, speaking or teaching. U may purchase a new computer or be exposed to some advanced system of knowledge. This will probably mean that u begin some new job as well. This is a powerful indicator of new beginnings in many areas of ur life.
Pluto
Queen of Spades
Somehow connected to ur result card you are attempting to develop a sense of mastery from within, a greater level of organisational ability or both. Self mastery comes from inner knowledge and self control. It is knowing u can have everything u want, not by changing the world but by changing yourself.
Result
Nine of Clubs
Much of ur challenges is to let go of outworn ideas, projects, plans or way of communicating. This is a year of completion that may at times seem like disappointing endings.
The Nine of Clubs says that u are completing a major chapter in ur life and it is time to move on to greener pastures. Be open to spiritual wisdom in all forms, as this will help make change easier.
Displacement
Six of Clubs
This card can have a powerful and positive effects on ur career and work. This could be the year that u become much better known or recognised for ur contribution.
This could be a vital time to devote some of ur resources to advertising or to getting into the media because success in these areas is almost certain. All in all, this should be a hallmark year where work is concerned.
Finally this card points to a need for more focus on one's purpose in life. This could be a year when circumstances cause u to reflect on ur life and make a sincere effort to finding the path best for u. Once that path is found, u are obligated on a spiritual level to follow it to the best of ur ability, regardless of external circumstances.
Following the path u have set for urself or just finding path that is meant for u, may be one the significant challenge of this year.
Soul
Just 3 months to go to end of my 2015 year..everything is in accordance with the cards.
Next week..will see..
I am the happiest single corporate exec female
Mar 20
Woke up at 7 am.
Looks like the major customer most likely will go especially since they decide to farm out the main project.
This morning I told Akash, what will be will be. I just go with the flow. The right thing will come to me. I m no longer choosing not resisting. The past with Z and now the purchase and loan on the new condo taught me that.
If it not meant to be, it won't happen despite my best effort or perseverance.
If it is meant to be, it will come to me without any effort.
Also knowing that my path is to be happily alone meant that at the very least I need to walk alone. My issue is not in rship as I easily surrender to my partner. My issue is in being alone.
To the world and to me eons ago, others and I see myself as independent single lady; don't need a partner to give me anything. Alas hidden within is a needy single yearning for the right partner to give her; now that is flushed out, I m truly an independent single lady, giving myself everything that I need.
Just like my journey of happy go lucky.
Yesterday I heard a comment that single corporate lady is the worst person to deal with. I told my boss and colleague that it's very judgemental.
They both said it is true. They then tell me that they have never seen a happy single corporate lady like me. My boss even said that I m the happiest single corporate lady that she knows and she met many people. So I m going in that direction.
Woke up at 7 am.
Looks like the major customer most likely will go especially since they decide to farm out the main project.
This morning I told Akash, what will be will be. I just go with the flow. The right thing will come to me. I m no longer choosing not resisting. The past with Z and now the purchase and loan on the new condo taught me that.
If it not meant to be, it won't happen despite my best effort or perseverance.
If it is meant to be, it will come to me without any effort.
Also knowing that my path is to be happily alone meant that at the very least I need to walk alone. My issue is not in rship as I easily surrender to my partner. My issue is in being alone.
To the world and to me eons ago, others and I see myself as independent single lady; don't need a partner to give me anything. Alas hidden within is a needy single yearning for the right partner to give her; now that is flushed out, I m truly an independent single lady, giving myself everything that I need.
Just like my journey of happy go lucky.
Yesterday I heard a comment that single corporate lady is the worst person to deal with. I told my boss and colleague that it's very judgemental.
They both said it is true. They then tell me that they have never seen a happy single corporate lady like me. My boss even said that I m the happiest single corporate lady that she knows and she met many people. So I m going in that direction.
Being in aloneness is my growth path; not a punishment
Mar 19 mor 1
Breakthrough - this is not a punishment
Being in a rship is easy for me as I have high tolerance and I believed the success of rship is more important than my own success..
Being alone is difficult is difficult. On the surface I m independent but beneath I have little values of my own. Being Ace I picked up new values. And hence no conflict in rship cos I picked up their value and with my high tolerance and my fear of being rejected, I avoid conflict. Hence rship with me is easy.
But being alone is difficult. And hence this life I m meant to be alone first, to build up my values. Otherwise no point in rship.
My self growth is in me being alone, giving myself what I want.
Others' self growth are being in a rship. Most people need to be in rship to grow..
That's why I always wonder why other fight in a rship. I never fight with Z. Only when I was sad with him for not putting us first that I break out. Even then I always go back. Others said if I seldom 'fight' with Z, thats the measure of successful rship..
Alas..it is 'fake'...
Alas. Me not here to suffer. Me not here to be punished. Me not here to be made different. I m just the opposite of others and my growth is being alone and not in rship. I m inherently good in rship. I m good with people.
With my little vales I surrender easily. Hence I m receptive to Existence, to energy. To Devi, to Dhynalinga, to Sadhguru. I m easy in rship
That's why BSP, being in people doesn't affect me. It doesn't overwhelm me. That's me in life.
The rship with the flower took me by surprise.
Breakthrough - this is not a punishment
Being in a rship is easy for me as I have high tolerance and I believed the success of rship is more important than my own success..
Being alone is difficult is difficult. On the surface I m independent but beneath I have little values of my own. Being Ace I picked up new values. And hence no conflict in rship cos I picked up their value and with my high tolerance and my fear of being rejected, I avoid conflict. Hence rship with me is easy.
But being alone is difficult. And hence this life I m meant to be alone first, to build up my values. Otherwise no point in rship.
My self growth is in me being alone, giving myself what I want.
Others' self growth are being in a rship. Most people need to be in rship to grow..
That's why I always wonder why other fight in a rship. I never fight with Z. Only when I was sad with him for not putting us first that I break out. Even then I always go back. Others said if I seldom 'fight' with Z, thats the measure of successful rship..
Alas..it is 'fake'...
Alas. Me not here to suffer. Me not here to be punished. Me not here to be made different. I m just the opposite of others and my growth is being alone and not in rship. I m inherently good in rship. I m good with people.
With my little vales I surrender easily. Hence I m receptive to Existence, to energy. To Devi, to Dhynalinga, to Sadhguru. I m easy in rship
That's why BSP, being in people doesn't affect me. It doesn't overwhelm me. That's me in life.
The rship with the flower took me by surprise.
Secrets of Yoga by Osho
Mar 19 mor
Secrets of yoga
U go on changing jobs, changing houses, partners within 3 years.This constant change simply says that ur mind is feverish. U cannot stay long at anything; then ur whole life become a life of continuous change - as if a tree is being uprooted again and again and again, and never gets the right time to send its roots deep down into the earth. The tree will be alive only in name sake. It will not be able to bloom, not possible because before flowers come, the roots have to settle first.
This roaming has to be stopped; that's the meaning of Dharana, the first step of the great synthesis of Samyama.
Samyama
In Dharana, in concentration, u bring ur mind to a focus; the object is important. U have to bring urself back again and again the object in ur consciousness
The second step is Dhyan; meditation, the object is not important anymore. It becomes secondary. Now the flow of consciousness becomes important - the very consciousness which is being poured into the object. Any object will do but ur consciousness should be poured in a continuity; there should be gaps. In Dhyan, u have to make it a continuity, an absolute continuity.
When consciousness becomes continuous, u become tremendously strong. For the first time u know what life is. For the first time the holes in ur life disappear. For the first time, u are together. Ur togetherness means the togetherness of consciousness. If ur consciousness drops is like a drop of water and not a continuity like oil, u cannot be really there. Those gaps will be a disturbance. Ur life will be very dim and faint; it will not have strength, force, energy.
Soul
Amen.
Apr 4
For the past few years when I first did Samyama..and Breathing meditation....it was focused..
But now..I am using awareness...and the results is awesome..
Still have not done on Samyama..but Breathing..I got it most of the time..
Secrets of yoga
U go on changing jobs, changing houses, partners within 3 years.This constant change simply says that ur mind is feverish. U cannot stay long at anything; then ur whole life become a life of continuous change - as if a tree is being uprooted again and again and again, and never gets the right time to send its roots deep down into the earth. The tree will be alive only in name sake. It will not be able to bloom, not possible because before flowers come, the roots have to settle first.
This roaming has to be stopped; that's the meaning of Dharana, the first step of the great synthesis of Samyama.
Samyama
In Dharana, in concentration, u bring ur mind to a focus; the object is important. U have to bring urself back again and again the object in ur consciousness
The second step is Dhyan; meditation, the object is not important anymore. It becomes secondary. Now the flow of consciousness becomes important - the very consciousness which is being poured into the object. Any object will do but ur consciousness should be poured in a continuity; there should be gaps. In Dhyan, u have to make it a continuity, an absolute continuity.
When consciousness becomes continuous, u become tremendously strong. For the first time u know what life is. For the first time the holes in ur life disappear. For the first time, u are together. Ur togetherness means the togetherness of consciousness. If ur consciousness drops is like a drop of water and not a continuity like oil, u cannot be really there. Those gaps will be a disturbance. Ur life will be very dim and faint; it will not have strength, force, energy.
Soul
Amen.
Apr 4
For the past few years when I first did Samyama..and Breathing meditation....it was focused..
But now..I am using awareness...and the results is awesome..
Still have not done on Samyama..but Breathing..I got it most of the time..
Learning to take care of myself in my aloneness
Mar 19
Woke up before 3 am cos too cold. Slept back and wake up upon alarm at 3.40 am
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by cat stretch. Angamardhana was good but did take breaks, lost in tots. Hero posture prop now shifted toward the back. Singing and dancing in hero posture followed by silence.
Did preparatory for Surya Kriya. Foot alignment not good but flexibility good. Forehead nearly touching my knees.
The Dhyna session. I cried, cried for my unknown partner. Cried cos I am alone. I let myself cry. This need for a partner could be from past life. So just give myself space to mourn for the partner that I don't have.
A tot came; I am here. U are not alone. That's me comforting my inner child. I can give myself what I want.
My path is to be alone until I m living in my own values. Then my rightful partner will come. Don't want to pressure myself to meet him in this lifetime. Maybe next.
This lifetime my commitment is to meet myself. To be happy on my own. That's my wish to Akash.
Breathing was lovely.
Shakti was good. Able to do slow Kapala Bhakti. Focused on first and second cycle but lost but in third cycle. Finish with dancing and singing.
Shambavi was good. But no time to sit for silence. I took much time during the Dhyna time.
Today changed alarm from 3.40 am to 3.37 am so I can have more time for silence after Shambavi.
Read this from facebook and it about acknowledging my need.
Matt Licata
https://www.facebook.com/mattlicataphd/posts/1412077785766104:0
Learning to truly take care of oneself as the most important prerequisite for a healthy intimate relationship...Learn how to practice radical self-care, self-kindness, and self-compassion. For to the degree that you are able to take responsibility for your own vulnerabilities and core emotional wounding, it is to this degree that you will release your partner from this burden, which is not his or hers to carry.
Woke up before 3 am cos too cold. Slept back and wake up upon alarm at 3.40 am
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by cat stretch. Angamardhana was good but did take breaks, lost in tots. Hero posture prop now shifted toward the back. Singing and dancing in hero posture followed by silence.
Did preparatory for Surya Kriya. Foot alignment not good but flexibility good. Forehead nearly touching my knees.
The Dhyna session. I cried, cried for my unknown partner. Cried cos I am alone. I let myself cry. This need for a partner could be from past life. So just give myself space to mourn for the partner that I don't have.
A tot came; I am here. U are not alone. That's me comforting my inner child. I can give myself what I want.
My path is to be alone until I m living in my own values. Then my rightful partner will come. Don't want to pressure myself to meet him in this lifetime. Maybe next.
This lifetime my commitment is to meet myself. To be happy on my own. That's my wish to Akash.
Breathing was lovely.
Shakti was good. Able to do slow Kapala Bhakti. Focused on first and second cycle but lost but in third cycle. Finish with dancing and singing.
Shambavi was good. But no time to sit for silence. I took much time during the Dhyna time.
Today changed alarm from 3.40 am to 3.37 am so I can have more time for silence after Shambavi.
Read this from facebook and it about acknowledging my need.
Matt Licata
https://www.facebook.com/mattlicataphd/posts/1412077785766104:0
Learning to truly take care of oneself as the most important prerequisite for a healthy intimate relationship...Learn how to practice radical self-care, self-kindness, and self-compassion. For to the degree that you are able to take responsibility for your own vulnerabilities and core emotional wounding, it is to this degree that you will release your partner from this burden, which is not his or hers to carry.
Reaffirming my aloneness path
Mar 18 aft
Even when Z shared with me his new office and etc I have no inclination to share with him my new condo. Basically he is not in my friendship list. But with Y, I shared.
Did Sannidi pooja. It was okay. Just a nice energy field. After it ended, I continue with Brahmananda chanting. I cried a bit over both Y and Z. Both found their companions and I haven't got mine.
Yes, I will follow my path. For now it's my aloneness path. I can't compare with others. I have the support on this path. I can give myself what I want.
Did Devi chanting for one cycle. Quite soothing. Reaffirm my aloneness path.
Even when Z shared with me his new office and etc I have no inclination to share with him my new condo. Basically he is not in my friendship list. But with Y, I shared.
Did Sannidi pooja. It was okay. Just a nice energy field. After it ended, I continue with Brahmananda chanting. I cried a bit over both Y and Z. Both found their companions and I haven't got mine.
Yes, I will follow my path. For now it's my aloneness path. I can't compare with others. I have the support on this path. I can give myself what I want.
Did Devi chanting for one cycle. Quite soothing. Reaffirm my aloneness path.
Friday, April 3, 2015
I am meant to be alone, finding my happiness within
Mar 18
Woke up around 6.50 am as it was bit hot.
Still feeling bit sleep, changed the alarm clock to 7.30 am. But I told myself that if I can't sleep in 10 min means that it is just the mind, not the body. True enough, I can't sleep, by 10 min I was getting morre fresh. So I woke up at 7.01 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by Surya Kriya preparatory steps.
Surya Kriya was okay but right elbow bit painful so can't hold mountain pose for long.
Yogaasanas not so great..breathing quite heavily. Was able to hold the 30 seconds but not so fluid breathing.
Only able to breakthrough in the sitting posture with fingers holding my big toes. Able to bend forward with both hands clasping my feet.
The Breathing meditation was good..sat for a long while
Shakti was good..tots were flying but I was able to focus for the first two cycle of Kapala Bhakti. Third cycle I was lot half way...about my new condo renovation.
Surprisingly, I was laughing and singing at the end.
Shambavi was good..was laughing in the end.
So this week card
2. Internal influences that you are unable to see
The Lovers
These three things are to be taken note of: the lowest love is sex - it is physical - and the highest refinement of love is compassion. Sex is below love, compassion is above love; love is exactly in the middle. Very few people know what love is. Ninety-nine percent of people, unfortunately, think sexuality is love - it is not. Sexuality is very animal; it certainly has the potential of growing into love, but it is not actual love, only a potential.... If you become aware and alert, meditative, then sex can be transformed into love. And if your meditativeness becomes total, absolute, love can be transformed into compassion. Sex is the seed, love is the flower, compassion is the fragrance. Buddha has defined compassion as love plus meditation. When your love is not just a desire for the other, when your love is not only a need, when your love is a sharing, when your love is not that of a beggar but an emperor, when your love is not asking for something in return but is ready only to give - to give for the sheer joy of giving - then add meditation to it and the pure fragrance is released. That is compassion; compassion is the highest phenomenon.
What we call love is really a whole spectrum of relating, reaching from the earth to the sky. At the most earthy level, love is sexual attraction. Many of us remain stuck there, because our conditioning has burdened our sexuality with all kinds of expectations and repressions. Actually the biggest "problem" with sexual love is that it never lasts. Only if we accept this fact can we then really celebrate it for what it is - welcome its happening, and say good-bye with gratitude when it's not. Then, as we mature, we can begin to experience the love that exists beyond sexuality and honors the unique individuality of the other. We begin to understand that our partner often functions as a mirror, reflecting unseen aspects of our deeper self and supporting us to become whole. This love is based in freedom, not expectation or need. Its wings take us higher and higher towards the universal love that experiences all as one.
Soul
Yes, finally did a last call msg to Z on the program. Hope he listen. Also took the opportunity to tell him that I am happy for both him and wife. Alas laying this to rest. They are meant to be...and it has nothing to do with me.
Amen
He responded and said he will join the program
He even showed me his new office and etc..
Guess me a Queen of Diamonds, him being a Jack of Diamonds..means there is a past life bond.
He just want to update me..thats all. Telling me his business is stable and growing..He is not so into money but business growing..
Or perhaps seeking my approval...as I have never felt secure with his financial approach to life..
Finally settle..Six of Diamonds..
I have got this card many times before but was not able to 'feel' it. Most of the times seeing it as havign to let go..feeling sad..that I am alone.
But this week..seeing me feeling compassion for Z and Y.
Seeing that they are where they are meant to be, being with who they are meant to be..
In seeing that their life is meant to be..I can see that it is not me..I no longer need to take it personally..
I am not in their equation.
3. External influences that you are aware
Maturity
The distinction between the grasses and the blossoms is the same as between you not knowing that you are a buddha, and the moment you know that you are a buddha.
This figure stands alone, silent and yet alert. The inner being is filled with flowers--that carry the quality of springtime and regenerate wherever he goes. This inner flowering and the wholeness that he feels affords the possibility of unlimited movement. He can move in any direction--within and without it makes no difference as his joy and and maturity cannot be diminished by externals. He has come to a time of centeredness and expansiveness--the white glow around the figure is his protection and his light. All of life's experiences have brought him to this time of perfection. When you draw this card, know well this moment carries a gift--for hard work well done. Your base is solid now and success and good fortune are yours for they are the outcome of what has already been experienced within.
Soul
Yesterday me crying out for love, fearing to be alone..and me finally answering that I am here with my aloneness. We are okay.
This morning I prayed to Akash....
thanks for all that you have given me..
thansk for all that you have taken away from me
I am where I m meant to be.
A tot just came..I am meant to find the soul mate within..not find it outside.
I am meant to find my happiness within..and not outside
I am meant to find my peace and contentment within..
I am meant to find my wholeness within...
And I have been given the tools to do so...
I have also been taken away from things and people that are not helpful for my path to find happiness within.
I can alone can give myself what I want
I need not do work that pays more money so I can feel secure.
I can feel secure just by doing my current work.
I can love myself...
4.Whats needed for resolution?
Beyond Illusions
This is the only distinction between the dream and the real: reality allows you to doubt, and the dream does not allow you to doubt.... To me, the capacity to doubt is one of the greatest blessings to humanity.
The butterfly in this card represents the outer, that which is constantly moving and that which is not real but an illusion. Behind the butterfly is the face of consciousness, looking inward to that which is eternal. The space between the two eyes has opened, revealing the lotus of spiritual unfoldment and the rising sun of awareness. Through the rising of the inner sun, meditation is born. The card reminds us not to look outside for what is real, but to look within. When we focus on externals, we too often get caught up in judgments - this is good, this is bad, I want this, I don't want that. These judgments keep us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns. Drop your opinionated mind and move inside. There, you can relax into your own deepest truth, where the difference between dreams and reality is already known
Soul
Seeing Z and wife meant to be..and I need not take it personally that I am not choosen..infact I was never in the equation. I was taken away cos we are not meant to be.
Reading my boss card..and seeing her ignorance on her role at office..makes me realise that I too was never in the equation. I may have highlight the matters but it was she who created the situation and her current role is not meant for her. Since she can't let go, it has to be taken away from her. Universe is helping her..so I no longer see myself as being responsible for her. She is responsible for herself and Universe is helping her on her path by taking away things not meant for her growth.
5. Resolutions
Harmony
The experience of resting in the heart in meditation is not something that can be grasped or forced. It comes naturally, as we grow more and more in tune with the rhythms of our own inner silences. The figure on this card reflects the sweetness and delicacy of this experience. The dolphins that emerge from the heart and make an arc towards the third eye reflect the playfulness and intelligence that comes when we are able to connect with the heart and move into the world from there. Let yourself be softer and more receptive now, because an inexpressible joy is waiting for you just around the corner. Nobody else can point it out to you, and when you find it you won't be able to find the words to express it to others. But it's there, deep within your heart, ripe and ready to be discovered.
Soul
Also seeing that former boss and company coming back..is just for me to reaffirm my path. The last time I wasn't sure and then I bolted. This time no logner want to create any drama.
Hectic corporate life is not meant for me.
Woke up around 6.50 am as it was bit hot.
Still feeling bit sleep, changed the alarm clock to 7.30 am. But I told myself that if I can't sleep in 10 min means that it is just the mind, not the body. True enough, I can't sleep, by 10 min I was getting morre fresh. So I woke up at 7.01 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by Surya Kriya preparatory steps.
Surya Kriya was okay but right elbow bit painful so can't hold mountain pose for long.
Yogaasanas not so great..breathing quite heavily. Was able to hold the 30 seconds but not so fluid breathing.
Only able to breakthrough in the sitting posture with fingers holding my big toes. Able to bend forward with both hands clasping my feet.
The Breathing meditation was good..sat for a long while
Shakti was good..tots were flying but I was able to focus for the first two cycle of Kapala Bhakti. Third cycle I was lot half way...about my new condo renovation.
Surprisingly, I was laughing and singing at the end.
Shambavi was good..was laughing in the end.
So this week card
2. Internal influences that you are unable to see
The Lovers
These three things are to be taken note of: the lowest love is sex - it is physical - and the highest refinement of love is compassion. Sex is below love, compassion is above love; love is exactly in the middle. Very few people know what love is. Ninety-nine percent of people, unfortunately, think sexuality is love - it is not. Sexuality is very animal; it certainly has the potential of growing into love, but it is not actual love, only a potential.... If you become aware and alert, meditative, then sex can be transformed into love. And if your meditativeness becomes total, absolute, love can be transformed into compassion. Sex is the seed, love is the flower, compassion is the fragrance. Buddha has defined compassion as love plus meditation. When your love is not just a desire for the other, when your love is not only a need, when your love is a sharing, when your love is not that of a beggar but an emperor, when your love is not asking for something in return but is ready only to give - to give for the sheer joy of giving - then add meditation to it and the pure fragrance is released. That is compassion; compassion is the highest phenomenon.
What we call love is really a whole spectrum of relating, reaching from the earth to the sky. At the most earthy level, love is sexual attraction. Many of us remain stuck there, because our conditioning has burdened our sexuality with all kinds of expectations and repressions. Actually the biggest "problem" with sexual love is that it never lasts. Only if we accept this fact can we then really celebrate it for what it is - welcome its happening, and say good-bye with gratitude when it's not. Then, as we mature, we can begin to experience the love that exists beyond sexuality and honors the unique individuality of the other. We begin to understand that our partner often functions as a mirror, reflecting unseen aspects of our deeper self and supporting us to become whole. This love is based in freedom, not expectation or need. Its wings take us higher and higher towards the universal love that experiences all as one.
Soul
Yes, finally did a last call msg to Z on the program. Hope he listen. Also took the opportunity to tell him that I am happy for both him and wife. Alas laying this to rest. They are meant to be...and it has nothing to do with me.
Amen
He responded and said he will join the program
He even showed me his new office and etc..
Guess me a Queen of Diamonds, him being a Jack of Diamonds..means there is a past life bond.
He just want to update me..thats all. Telling me his business is stable and growing..He is not so into money but business growing..
Or perhaps seeking my approval...as I have never felt secure with his financial approach to life..
Finally settle..Six of Diamonds..
I have got this card many times before but was not able to 'feel' it. Most of the times seeing it as havign to let go..feeling sad..that I am alone.
But this week..seeing me feeling compassion for Z and Y.
Seeing that they are where they are meant to be, being with who they are meant to be..
In seeing that their life is meant to be..I can see that it is not me..I no longer need to take it personally..
I am not in their equation.
3. External influences that you are aware
Maturity
The distinction between the grasses and the blossoms is the same as between you not knowing that you are a buddha, and the moment you know that you are a buddha.
This figure stands alone, silent and yet alert. The inner being is filled with flowers--that carry the quality of springtime and regenerate wherever he goes. This inner flowering and the wholeness that he feels affords the possibility of unlimited movement. He can move in any direction--within and without it makes no difference as his joy and and maturity cannot be diminished by externals. He has come to a time of centeredness and expansiveness--the white glow around the figure is his protection and his light. All of life's experiences have brought him to this time of perfection. When you draw this card, know well this moment carries a gift--for hard work well done. Your base is solid now and success and good fortune are yours for they are the outcome of what has already been experienced within.
Soul
Yesterday me crying out for love, fearing to be alone..and me finally answering that I am here with my aloneness. We are okay.
This morning I prayed to Akash....
thanks for all that you have given me..
thansk for all that you have taken away from me
I am where I m meant to be.
A tot just came..I am meant to find the soul mate within..not find it outside.
I am meant to find my happiness within..and not outside
I am meant to find my peace and contentment within..
I am meant to find my wholeness within...
And I have been given the tools to do so...
I have also been taken away from things and people that are not helpful for my path to find happiness within.
I can alone can give myself what I want
I need not do work that pays more money so I can feel secure.
I can feel secure just by doing my current work.
I can love myself...
4.Whats needed for resolution?
Beyond Illusions
This is the only distinction between the dream and the real: reality allows you to doubt, and the dream does not allow you to doubt.... To me, the capacity to doubt is one of the greatest blessings to humanity.
The butterfly in this card represents the outer, that which is constantly moving and that which is not real but an illusion. Behind the butterfly is the face of consciousness, looking inward to that which is eternal. The space between the two eyes has opened, revealing the lotus of spiritual unfoldment and the rising sun of awareness. Through the rising of the inner sun, meditation is born. The card reminds us not to look outside for what is real, but to look within. When we focus on externals, we too often get caught up in judgments - this is good, this is bad, I want this, I don't want that. These judgments keep us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns. Drop your opinionated mind and move inside. There, you can relax into your own deepest truth, where the difference between dreams and reality is already known
Soul
Seeing Z and wife meant to be..and I need not take it personally that I am not choosen..infact I was never in the equation. I was taken away cos we are not meant to be.
Reading my boss card..and seeing her ignorance on her role at office..makes me realise that I too was never in the equation. I may have highlight the matters but it was she who created the situation and her current role is not meant for her. Since she can't let go, it has to be taken away from her. Universe is helping her..so I no longer see myself as being responsible for her. She is responsible for herself and Universe is helping her on her path by taking away things not meant for her growth.
5. Resolutions
Harmony
The experience of resting in the heart in meditation is not something that can be grasped or forced. It comes naturally, as we grow more and more in tune with the rhythms of our own inner silences. The figure on this card reflects the sweetness and delicacy of this experience. The dolphins that emerge from the heart and make an arc towards the third eye reflect the playfulness and intelligence that comes when we are able to connect with the heart and move into the world from there. Let yourself be softer and more receptive now, because an inexpressible joy is waiting for you just around the corner. Nobody else can point it out to you, and when you find it you won't be able to find the words to express it to others. But it's there, deep within your heart, ripe and ready to be discovered.
Soul
Also seeing that former boss and company coming back..is just for me to reaffirm my path. The last time I wasn't sure and then I bolted. This time no logner want to create any drama.
Hectic corporate life is not meant for me.
Uranus in Ten of Spades
Mar 17
Destiny
Ten of Spades
Seven of Spades
Ten of Spades (success in work, health and legal affairs, being a workaholic)
This card represent success in organisation of labour, real estate or other earth relied businesses. General success in work and the overcoming of work and health difficulties are suggested by this card. This success also applies in the area of humanitarian work, futuristic technology or in some unusual manner. This is an excellent influence and gives u a special gift of dealing with groups of people in a healing and positive way.
Seven of Spades (health and work problems, learning to practice faith)
Though u may not get full credit for ur work now, do not let that become a source of problems on the job. This period may bring some kind of unexpected illness or trouble with one's job, maybe from overworking. U may suddenly be confronted with ur own fears or negativity or bad habits that now need correcting. Success is highly possible now if u heed the call.
Exposure to spiritual wisdom and people will be a great help and could add to ur success.
This is a good influence for spiritual matters, learning new spiritual information, attending classes, etc.
Soul
Mar 18
Unexpectedly I just decided to join BSP volunteering..needed the energy boost.
seven of Spades is Z's card..unexpectedly I was in charge of pursuading him to join Isha program and he did.
So, at least we now at aquaintance level.
Ruling
Ten of Diamonds
Six of Hearts
Ten of Diamonds (dealing with or focusing on a very large sum of money)
This card brings financial success from selling real estate or land, dealing with labor or employees, new technology or in some humanitarian projects. Money comes from psychic work or some land related business. This card can indicate money coming in unexpectedly or from some unusual source. This could be from a religious, psychic or occult related activities.
Six of Hearts (making the peace, the return of love or friendship karma or a karmic rship begins)
This is an influence of success in humanitarian pursuits and affairs of labour and coworkers. This is also good for steady progress in these areas and sticking to chosen path and working it through. Watch out that u don't allow this steadiness to become an excuse for being stubborn and inflexible in ur work and friendships. U may have to make compromises now to maintain peace and harmony with friends or on the job but it will be worth the cooperation.
By tuning in to ur subtle tots and feelings now, u can make a strong connection to exactly what ur life purpose is, especially relates to ur work with people and ur own circle of friends and family.
Soul
Got my new condo. Thinking of renovation..
Be getting bonus. Boss proposed 5 months. I think most likely I get 3. But I m hoping for 4.
Yes, the return of love or friendship karma...
- connecting to Z's wife and Z. Both now coming back into my life.
possible former boss E coming back to my life..as E's Ruling is Ten of Diamonds and Destiny Six of Hearts.
Destiny
Ten of Spades
Seven of Spades
Ten of Spades (success in work, health and legal affairs, being a workaholic)
This card represent success in organisation of labour, real estate or other earth relied businesses. General success in work and the overcoming of work and health difficulties are suggested by this card. This success also applies in the area of humanitarian work, futuristic technology or in some unusual manner. This is an excellent influence and gives u a special gift of dealing with groups of people in a healing and positive way.
Seven of Spades (health and work problems, learning to practice faith)
Though u may not get full credit for ur work now, do not let that become a source of problems on the job. This period may bring some kind of unexpected illness or trouble with one's job, maybe from overworking. U may suddenly be confronted with ur own fears or negativity or bad habits that now need correcting. Success is highly possible now if u heed the call.
Exposure to spiritual wisdom and people will be a great help and could add to ur success.
This is a good influence for spiritual matters, learning new spiritual information, attending classes, etc.
Soul
Mar 18
Unexpectedly I just decided to join BSP volunteering..needed the energy boost.
seven of Spades is Z's card..unexpectedly I was in charge of pursuading him to join Isha program and he did.
So, at least we now at aquaintance level.
Ruling
Ten of Diamonds
Six of Hearts
Ten of Diamonds (dealing with or focusing on a very large sum of money)
This card brings financial success from selling real estate or land, dealing with labor or employees, new technology or in some humanitarian projects. Money comes from psychic work or some land related business. This card can indicate money coming in unexpectedly or from some unusual source. This could be from a religious, psychic or occult related activities.
Six of Hearts (making the peace, the return of love or friendship karma or a karmic rship begins)
This is an influence of success in humanitarian pursuits and affairs of labour and coworkers. This is also good for steady progress in these areas and sticking to chosen path and working it through. Watch out that u don't allow this steadiness to become an excuse for being stubborn and inflexible in ur work and friendships. U may have to make compromises now to maintain peace and harmony with friends or on the job but it will be worth the cooperation.
By tuning in to ur subtle tots and feelings now, u can make a strong connection to exactly what ur life purpose is, especially relates to ur work with people and ur own circle of friends and family.
Soul
Got my new condo. Thinking of renovation..
Be getting bonus. Boss proposed 5 months. I think most likely I get 3. But I m hoping for 4.
Yes, the return of love or friendship karma...
- connecting to Z's wife and Z. Both now coming back into my life.
possible former boss E coming back to my life..as E's Ruling is Ten of Diamonds and Destiny Six of Hearts.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Finally at peace that Z and I are not meant to be
Mar 17 eve 1
Just read this
Another Universal Law is the Law of Free Will, which keeps us locked into this 3rd dimensional reality as long as we continue to buy into what our world leaders and the mainstream media continue to sell us. Can you name one world leader who truly works in the best interests of humanity? Can you name one major television station that does not try to sell us fear? This reality can change in the blink of an eye once we, as a group collective, stop buying into the fear and start buying into Universal Consciousness.
Through Universal Consciousness, you can see and feel how everything is connected to everything else. With this type of mentality and existence,. there would be no wars and no fear.
And there would be “no time”.
http://in5d.com/edgar-cayce-time-and-no-time/
This feel like something that Z's wife and I shared today. I didn't expect to click with her. But I did. My first tot was to share this link with her but I hold back. Don't want to get close to her. Don't want to be close and hid that I was Z's ex. So best to stay away.
Just feel good that I can click with her, that I can now see Z and her are meant to be. I am no longer sad over their immediate marriage after our break up, no longer taking it personally. It is not a reflection of me; it Universe's plan.
Z first broke off with me in July. We try to patch up one day before Z met her in Aug but Z already fall for her. That's why in Sept Z was ready to let go of me. I recalled that day he said that one of my shortcoming is that I m not tall. By then he already met her future wife and was considering her.
I prolong it by refusing to let go. That was my lesson. Fear to let go tot I be alone. In reality Z was not meant for me and neither am I meant for him.
Our values are different. That's why after broke up I only miss the physical but no mental nor emotional misses. Whereas with Y, I miss our mental connection and even after now I still want to chat with him, share with him. But no such urge with Z
Z's wife sharing that through her journals she now is living her dreams. I was just happy for her.
Also the more I talked to her, the more I see that Z and her meant to be. The more I m able to remove myself from the equation.
Through Universal Consciousness, you can see and feel how everything is connected to everything else. With this type of mentality and existence,. there would be no wars and no fear. And there would be “no time”
Just read this
Another Universal Law is the Law of Free Will, which keeps us locked into this 3rd dimensional reality as long as we continue to buy into what our world leaders and the mainstream media continue to sell us. Can you name one world leader who truly works in the best interests of humanity? Can you name one major television station that does not try to sell us fear? This reality can change in the blink of an eye once we, as a group collective, stop buying into the fear and start buying into Universal Consciousness.
Through Universal Consciousness, you can see and feel how everything is connected to everything else. With this type of mentality and existence,. there would be no wars and no fear.
And there would be “no time”.
http://in5d.com/edgar-cayce-time-and-no-time/
This feel like something that Z's wife and I shared today. I didn't expect to click with her. But I did. My first tot was to share this link with her but I hold back. Don't want to get close to her. Don't want to be close and hid that I was Z's ex. So best to stay away.
Just feel good that I can click with her, that I can now see Z and her are meant to be. I am no longer sad over their immediate marriage after our break up, no longer taking it personally. It is not a reflection of me; it Universe's plan.
Z first broke off with me in July. We try to patch up one day before Z met her in Aug but Z already fall for her. That's why in Sept Z was ready to let go of me. I recalled that day he said that one of my shortcoming is that I m not tall. By then he already met her future wife and was considering her.
I prolong it by refusing to let go. That was my lesson. Fear to let go tot I be alone. In reality Z was not meant for me and neither am I meant for him.
Our values are different. That's why after broke up I only miss the physical but no mental nor emotional misses. Whereas with Y, I miss our mental connection and even after now I still want to chat with him, share with him. But no such urge with Z
Z's wife sharing that through her journals she now is living her dreams. I was just happy for her.
Also the more I talked to her, the more I see that Z and her meant to be. The more I m able to remove myself from the equation.
Through Universal Consciousness, you can see and feel how everything is connected to everything else. With this type of mentality and existence,. there would be no wars and no fear. And there would be “no time”
Massive crying with my Shrine (Sadhguru sanndihi and Linga Devi)
Mar 17 eve
Just done Sannidhi pooja cause missed it yesterday.
During the guru song I was lost in tots. During Brahmananda, tears flows non stop. I was crying for help. Fear of future. Truly need help in my Uranus period.
Wish I can go to ashram to recharge but I can't cos too busy at work. Tears fall again and then a tot came. Go BSP volunteering and get charged.
Did Devi chant. Just sat and crying profusely. Chant 3 cycles effortlessly. Must be Devi energy. Crying while chanting. I cried cos now that Z and wife are meant to be; does that mean I m now truly alone; that I m meant to be alone.
Suddenly in midst of my tears, a tot came. I m here with u. I m here with myself. I m not alone.
Signing up for BSP volunteer. Tot came in during pooja. Earlier not planing to go as volunteering not for me. Also didn't want to go because my friends joining. Didn't want to go because of fear of losing friendship among Isha. So no fear at all. Not afraid of losing any validation.
Now going for myself. Alas understand what P said about volunteering is for self. Volunteering for the right reason.
I m surely learning now. I am going for the energy, not for volunteering per se..
Now going to get energy surge. Told P, she welcome me. Now I m straight with her. In general I don't volunteer but I do help in promotion on my own term and time.
An ex-colleague whom I intro Isha msg me that he now following Sadhguru on FB and he love it. He asked if there are any books. I told him to go to Isha hata yoga studio. Also told him of Sannidhi pooja. He welcome the suggestion.
So I shared with the hata yoga studio. Then many ideas came for Isha hata. Told them to promote Studio as initial Isha center, start with the Sannidi.
I m happy promoting Isha, sharing my journey.
Just done Sannidhi pooja cause missed it yesterday.
During the guru song I was lost in tots. During Brahmananda, tears flows non stop. I was crying for help. Fear of future. Truly need help in my Uranus period.
Wish I can go to ashram to recharge but I can't cos too busy at work. Tears fall again and then a tot came. Go BSP volunteering and get charged.
Did Devi chant. Just sat and crying profusely. Chant 3 cycles effortlessly. Must be Devi energy. Crying while chanting. I cried cos now that Z and wife are meant to be; does that mean I m now truly alone; that I m meant to be alone.
Suddenly in midst of my tears, a tot came. I m here with u. I m here with myself. I m not alone.
Signing up for BSP volunteer. Tot came in during pooja. Earlier not planing to go as volunteering not for me. Also didn't want to go because my friends joining. Didn't want to go because of fear of losing friendship among Isha. So no fear at all. Not afraid of losing any validation.
Now going for myself. Alas understand what P said about volunteering is for self. Volunteering for the right reason.
I m surely learning now. I am going for the energy, not for volunteering per se..
Now going to get energy surge. Told P, she welcome me. Now I m straight with her. In general I don't volunteer but I do help in promotion on my own term and time.
An ex-colleague whom I intro Isha msg me that he now following Sadhguru on FB and he love it. He asked if there are any books. I told him to go to Isha hata yoga studio. Also told him of Sannidhi pooja. He welcome the suggestion.
So I shared with the hata yoga studio. Then many ideas came for Isha hata. Told them to promote Studio as initial Isha center, start with the Sannidi.
I m happy promoting Isha, sharing my journey.
INFJ career choices
Mar 17 aft 2
Soul
suddenly tot perhaps instead of seeing my ex boss coming back to haunt me. due to Displacement of Six of Hearts....is to get me to pay back.perhaps it him doing me a favour as my Ruling (subsconscious) is Six of Clubs.
This is maybe forcing me to really see what I truly wants..
What follows is a list of INFJ job/ career choices and college majors organized according to the Holland interest domains:
Realistic: (no recommendations in this domain)
Investigative:
• Philosopher/theologian
• Sociologist, political scientist
• Researcher or research assistant
• Psychologist: research, personality, social
• Journalist
• Instructional designer
Artistic:
• Playwright
• Art/Museum Curator
• Critic: art, film, literary, food
• Editor, writer (especially non-fiction)
• Blogger (see my post, Tools & Considerations for Prospective Bloggers)
Social:
• Counseling/counselor/therapist
• Psychologist, clinical or counseling
• Human resources professional
• Teacher/college professor: art, religion, English, literature
• Priest, pastor, rabbi, minister
Enterprising:
• Consultant
• Journalist
Conventional:
• Administrator
Soul
I am an Executive Administrator, I do part time blogging and counselling for friends and colleague where needed.
So thats on track for INFJ
Soul
suddenly tot perhaps instead of seeing my ex boss coming back to haunt me. due to Displacement of Six of Hearts....is to get me to pay back.perhaps it him doing me a favour as my Ruling (subsconscious) is Six of Clubs.
This is maybe forcing me to really see what I truly wants..
What follows is a list of INFJ job/ career choices and college majors organized according to the Holland interest domains:
Realistic: (no recommendations in this domain)
Investigative:
• Philosopher/theologian
• Sociologist, political scientist
• Researcher or research assistant
• Psychologist: research, personality, social
• Journalist
• Instructional designer
Artistic:
• Playwright
• Art/Museum Curator
• Critic: art, film, literary, food
• Editor, writer (especially non-fiction)
• Blogger (see my post, Tools & Considerations for Prospective Bloggers)
Social:
• Counseling/counselor/therapist
• Psychologist, clinical or counseling
• Human resources professional
• Teacher/college professor: art, religion, English, literature
• Priest, pastor, rabbi, minister
Enterprising:
• Consultant
• Journalist
Conventional:
• Administrator
Soul
I am an Executive Administrator, I do part time blogging and counselling for friends and colleague where needed.
So thats on track for INFJ
Displacement cards in 2014/2015
Mar 17 aft 1
Displacement in Destiny
Six of Hearts.
Becoming more conscious of our actions in the area of personal relationship ls.
It is entirely possible that some fated events occur in ur life this year as a result of ur actions in the past in ur personal relationships.
These events may not be to ur liking. They may even seems unfair as far as u are concerned, as if what is happening is something that u do not deserve. These are likely to be difficult situation during ur Saturn period and they will involve some key relationships. However this event are fair and just, the result of something u did in the past, be it in this lifetime or one prior to now.
Sometimes this card has been known to attract a karmic relationship that returns for us to settle some unfinished business. If someone new and significant comes into ur life this year, it is likely to be the cause. Be attentive to what is going on between you - what are the real issues that u are dealing with in this relationship?
Issues will revolve around finances and having an awareness of personal responsibility in matters of love and family. It is up to u to explore any situations that come up and to be open to learning more about fairness. Keep an open mind and be willing to give whatever is asked of u if you wish to get the most from this powerful influence.
On the brighter side, this card gives u extraordinary powers of mental concentration this year, which should bring u more success in ur business or job.
Displacement in Ruling
Six of Clubs
This card can have a powerful and positive effects on ur career and work. This could be the year that u become much better known or recognised for ur contribution.
This could be a vital time to devote some of ur resources to advertising or to getting into the media because success in these areas is almost certain. All in all, this should be a hallmark year where work is concerned.
Finally this card points to a need for more focus on one's purpose in life. This could be a year when circumstances cause u to reflect on ur life and make a sincere effort to finding the path best for u. Once that path is found, u are obligated on a spiritual level to follow it to the best of ur ability, regardless of external circumstances.
Following the path u have set for urself or just finding path that is meant for u, may be one the significant challenge of this year.
Displacement in Destiny
Six of Hearts.
Becoming more conscious of our actions in the area of personal relationship ls.
It is entirely possible that some fated events occur in ur life this year as a result of ur actions in the past in ur personal relationships.
These events may not be to ur liking. They may even seems unfair as far as u are concerned, as if what is happening is something that u do not deserve. These are likely to be difficult situation during ur Saturn period and they will involve some key relationships. However this event are fair and just, the result of something u did in the past, be it in this lifetime or one prior to now.
Sometimes this card has been known to attract a karmic relationship that returns for us to settle some unfinished business. If someone new and significant comes into ur life this year, it is likely to be the cause. Be attentive to what is going on between you - what are the real issues that u are dealing with in this relationship?
Issues will revolve around finances and having an awareness of personal responsibility in matters of love and family. It is up to u to explore any situations that come up and to be open to learning more about fairness. Keep an open mind and be willing to give whatever is asked of u if you wish to get the most from this powerful influence.
On the brighter side, this card gives u extraordinary powers of mental concentration this year, which should bring u more success in ur business or job.
Displacement in Ruling
Six of Clubs
This card can have a powerful and positive effects on ur career and work. This could be the year that u become much better known or recognised for ur contribution.
This could be a vital time to devote some of ur resources to advertising or to getting into the media because success in these areas is almost certain. All in all, this should be a hallmark year where work is concerned.
Finally this card points to a need for more focus on one's purpose in life. This could be a year when circumstances cause u to reflect on ur life and make a sincere effort to finding the path best for u. Once that path is found, u are obligated on a spiritual level to follow it to the best of ur ability, regardless of external circumstances.
Following the path u have set for urself or just finding path that is meant for u, may be one the significant challenge of this year.
North node in Taurus - scheduled for rest
Mar 17
A tot came on North Node..don't seek challenges..just enjoy what you have.
Yes moving from Ace to Queen. I got loads of values..just live them..no need to search for new values.
Got this from my blog that a reader happen to read yesterday
North node in taurus
Relax. Take a big deep breath. Exhale. Smell the grass. Soak in the evening sun. Relax. Take another full breath. Relax. Watch the sun slowly set. Get ready for a fine dinner. Relax. Breathe in and out.
Relax.....
Relax.....
Relax......
The easy chair. The NN in Taurus is scheduled for a rest this lifetime. She's invited to park herself in a comfortable chair, rooted to the spot while the turbulent world swirls around her. She feels no need to leap up, fill herself with tension and anxiety, and join in the unrest, unless she wants to, of course. She can linger in the moment as long as she desires, undisturbed, content, and at peace.
The world of the senses. The NN in Taurus was born to fully indulge in and enjoy the experience of the five human senses. After years of distracting pain she is enchanted with these feelings offered to her without conditions. She's like a newborn when the freedom from torment finally arrives and she can abandon herself to these easy sensations without restraint, guilt, or fear that they will suddenly be taken away. She can grasp and hold pleasure. Possess it to the fullest.
Contentment, fulfillment, and peace. The NN Taurean has finally reached the plateau, the beautiful rich peaceful meadow she sensed was ahead. She can build her life now without panic and fear that the foundation will drop out from under her. She is entirely self supporting and has the leisure time to do what she wants at her own pace. She can contemplate the world immediately around her trusting in its generosity and relaxing in its safety. She is on rock solid ground entirely at home. Comfortable, satisfied, complete.
Raging universe blogspot
North node in Taurus
Nowism. No other human is more capable of living in the moment than the NN Taurus. She has no desire to leave the reality she's in. It's exactly right. It contains everything she wants. Even if the imagination wanders off to foreign dimensions, her body is content to be where it is, and awaits her mind's return with eagerness. Dinner is ahead, perhaps a hot bath, a slick shiny magazine, some jazzy love songs, or some delicious conversation on the Internet. So many possibilities, so much to do.
Soul
Yes..thats my decision..RA helps to make it.
Just relax..don't have to overexert myself and create anxiety in the body.
I can give myself what I want..
Today watch TV and saw the high end condo with timber flooring..so I too want timber flooring.
Amen
A tot came on North Node..don't seek challenges..just enjoy what you have.
Yes moving from Ace to Queen. I got loads of values..just live them..no need to search for new values.
Got this from my blog that a reader happen to read yesterday
North node in taurus
Relax. Take a big deep breath. Exhale. Smell the grass. Soak in the evening sun. Relax. Take another full breath. Relax. Watch the sun slowly set. Get ready for a fine dinner. Relax. Breathe in and out.
Relax.....
Relax.....
Relax......
The easy chair. The NN in Taurus is scheduled for a rest this lifetime. She's invited to park herself in a comfortable chair, rooted to the spot while the turbulent world swirls around her. She feels no need to leap up, fill herself with tension and anxiety, and join in the unrest, unless she wants to, of course. She can linger in the moment as long as she desires, undisturbed, content, and at peace.
The world of the senses. The NN in Taurus was born to fully indulge in and enjoy the experience of the five human senses. After years of distracting pain she is enchanted with these feelings offered to her without conditions. She's like a newborn when the freedom from torment finally arrives and she can abandon herself to these easy sensations without restraint, guilt, or fear that they will suddenly be taken away. She can grasp and hold pleasure. Possess it to the fullest.
Contentment, fulfillment, and peace. The NN Taurean has finally reached the plateau, the beautiful rich peaceful meadow she sensed was ahead. She can build her life now without panic and fear that the foundation will drop out from under her. She is entirely self supporting and has the leisure time to do what she wants at her own pace. She can contemplate the world immediately around her trusting in its generosity and relaxing in its safety. She is on rock solid ground entirely at home. Comfortable, satisfied, complete.
Raging universe blogspot
North node in Taurus
Nowism. No other human is more capable of living in the moment than the NN Taurus. She has no desire to leave the reality she's in. It's exactly right. It contains everything she wants. Even if the imagination wanders off to foreign dimensions, her body is content to be where it is, and awaits her mind's return with eagerness. Dinner is ahead, perhaps a hot bath, a slick shiny magazine, some jazzy love songs, or some delicious conversation on the Internet. So many possibilities, so much to do.
Soul
Yes..thats my decision..RA helps to make it.
Just relax..don't have to overexert myself and create anxiety in the body.
I can give myself what I want..
Today watch TV and saw the high end condo with timber flooring..so I too want timber flooring.
Amen
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Sadhana makes me happy and contented
Mar 16 eve
Did Shoonya but couldn't go in deep. So took longer.
What makes me happy??
How do I want to spend my time?
Today meeting over shot cos there were some critical matters that I need to take charge. My second in command tried but not successful. I got to take back the helm. Did give him my feedback and found out he was taking charge from behind but didn't take charge of meeting. (Found out that he is North Node in Leo ..no wonder..I am here to guide him to be leader)
Came back late, so no Sannidhi pooja today.
Sang guru pooja. Was crying to Sadhguru, thanking to Devi and all the masters. Sorry that I couldn't do Sannidhi pooja today.
Did Shoonya, went in deep. Followed by breathing meditation. Got into it. Just being aware of my body. Feels good. All cleansed up. Feeling contented.
L said I can take over the boss role. I know I can't. That's even more difficult than taking the position in my former company. She said I can do it. I told her can doesn't mean I like it.
I told her I only know that sadhana very important to me and it makes me happy.
I now know what makes me burden. Me controlling myself. I used to think capability means responsibility; responsibility means suffering.
Knowing that I m INFJ in hiding. That's why I get tired doing the lead role.
Suddenly tot of North node in Taurus, past history of always seeking new challenges. No more.
This life I m meant to be at ease. I will stay put.
Did Shoonya but couldn't go in deep. So took longer.
What makes me happy??
How do I want to spend my time?
Today meeting over shot cos there were some critical matters that I need to take charge. My second in command tried but not successful. I got to take back the helm. Did give him my feedback and found out he was taking charge from behind but didn't take charge of meeting. (Found out that he is North Node in Leo ..no wonder..I am here to guide him to be leader)
Came back late, so no Sannidhi pooja today.
Sang guru pooja. Was crying to Sadhguru, thanking to Devi and all the masters. Sorry that I couldn't do Sannidhi pooja today.
Did Shoonya, went in deep. Followed by breathing meditation. Got into it. Just being aware of my body. Feels good. All cleansed up. Feeling contented.
L said I can take over the boss role. I know I can't. That's even more difficult than taking the position in my former company. She said I can do it. I told her can doesn't mean I like it.
I told her I only know that sadhana very important to me and it makes me happy.
I now know what makes me burden. Me controlling myself. I used to think capability means responsibility; responsibility means suffering.
Knowing that I m INFJ in hiding. That's why I get tired doing the lead role.
Suddenly tot of North node in Taurus, past history of always seeking new challenges. No more.
This life I m meant to be at ease. I will stay put.
Self discovery help in stabilising my life
Mar 16
This morning as I was driving..I just had this tot.
Thank God for my RA..which helps me to make decision.
I must remember my personality is INFJ, while I can do high profile job but inside I suffer. There is a conflict within. I am extrovert on the outside..its a disguise..can't keep up long.
In reality I can only do high profile jobe for a short time.
It is just the same as local Isha...in the end I become resentful..cos I don't like it. With Isha even no money..so even worse..and I can't get out because of friendship.
In work..I get tired..and I can't get out because of fear of losing validation..
Well, I am finally out from the corporate hijacks. I will stay put and do what I can do to grow the current company. No more accepting any new jobs.
Just now just received a call from a headhunter...CFO role...and I said nope.
This morning as I was driving..I just had this tot.
Thank God for my RA..which helps me to make decision.
I must remember my personality is INFJ, while I can do high profile job but inside I suffer. There is a conflict within. I am extrovert on the outside..its a disguise..can't keep up long.
In reality I can only do high profile jobe for a short time.
It is just the same as local Isha...in the end I become resentful..cos I don't like it. With Isha even no money..so even worse..and I can't get out because of friendship.
In work..I get tired..and I can't get out because of fear of losing validation..
Well, I am finally out from the corporate hijacks. I will stay put and do what I can do to grow the current company. No more accepting any new jobs.
Just now just received a call from a headhunter...CFO role...and I said nope.
Misery of the mind - more and more
Mar 15 eve
Went for massage as left shoulder is feeling so stiff. It has been nearly 6 months since I do shoulder stand. Shoulder stand minimised stiffness. Massage was painful. The pain was mostly on the shoulders, arms and back. Masseurs said much win and blocked lymph nodes. She said due to stress. This week much stress with the negotiations on the agreement for the purchase of condo then the scary tot of going back to former company and drama at office. The fear of losing financial security compounded with new capital commitment.
My legs are okay. But after two hours I couldn't take it. I asked her to just end it as my pain threshold has been reached.
After massage came back watch romantic movie on TV. Lovely story. Try to sleep but couldn't cos body is aching. Feeling heaty. Decided to wake up to do Sannidhi pooja instead.
Did evening pooja but tots keep on running. Tots of the past of Z. Guess the romantic movie reminds me of what I tot I missed. I just focus back on the Sannidhi song. Got myself back. This week only did my Wednesday pooja. Couldn't do Mon and Friday due to work load.
Now in my room. With Sannidhi.
Yoga the science of living by Osho
The difference between the experiencer and the experience always remains- the gap and that gap goes on saying, 'Yes, something is happening but not enough. More is needed.'
That is the misery of the human mind. That's why the mind goes on asking for more and more. There are many more peaks to be attained. And this will remain so because something in the very nature of the experience that the experience can never be total.
Then what can be total? What can be fulfilling? Remain a witness; don't be lost in the experience. Don't be lost. Just Remain alert. Know that this is a passing mood; it will past. Good or bad, beautiful or ugly, happy or unhappy- a cloud passing by; u remain silent, watching it. Don't get identified with it.
Otherwise love will not fulfill, neither meditation, because, in fact, what is meditation? Meditation is not an experience; it is to become aware of the witness. Just look. Just watch, and remain centered in the watcher and then anything is total. Otherwise nothing is total. Then everything is fulfilling; otherwise nothing is fulfilling.
Just sipping tea is such a delight, u cannot think, u cannot imagine, that more is possible. Then each moment become a diamond unto itself and each moment becomes a flowering- but u remain alert. U are not lost on the experience; u don't get identified with it.
Soul
Hence Samyama
When I m aware of my breathe. Not identified with it. I feel so fulfilled.
Went for massage as left shoulder is feeling so stiff. It has been nearly 6 months since I do shoulder stand. Shoulder stand minimised stiffness. Massage was painful. The pain was mostly on the shoulders, arms and back. Masseurs said much win and blocked lymph nodes. She said due to stress. This week much stress with the negotiations on the agreement for the purchase of condo then the scary tot of going back to former company and drama at office. The fear of losing financial security compounded with new capital commitment.
My legs are okay. But after two hours I couldn't take it. I asked her to just end it as my pain threshold has been reached.
After massage came back watch romantic movie on TV. Lovely story. Try to sleep but couldn't cos body is aching. Feeling heaty. Decided to wake up to do Sannidhi pooja instead.
Did evening pooja but tots keep on running. Tots of the past of Z. Guess the romantic movie reminds me of what I tot I missed. I just focus back on the Sannidhi song. Got myself back. This week only did my Wednesday pooja. Couldn't do Mon and Friday due to work load.
Now in my room. With Sannidhi.
Yoga the science of living by Osho
The difference between the experiencer and the experience always remains- the gap and that gap goes on saying, 'Yes, something is happening but not enough. More is needed.'
That is the misery of the human mind. That's why the mind goes on asking for more and more. There are many more peaks to be attained. And this will remain so because something in the very nature of the experience that the experience can never be total.
Then what can be total? What can be fulfilling? Remain a witness; don't be lost in the experience. Don't be lost. Just Remain alert. Know that this is a passing mood; it will past. Good or bad, beautiful or ugly, happy or unhappy- a cloud passing by; u remain silent, watching it. Don't get identified with it.
Otherwise love will not fulfill, neither meditation, because, in fact, what is meditation? Meditation is not an experience; it is to become aware of the witness. Just look. Just watch, and remain centered in the watcher and then anything is total. Otherwise nothing is total. Then everything is fulfilling; otherwise nothing is fulfilling.
Just sipping tea is such a delight, u cannot think, u cannot imagine, that more is possible. Then each moment become a diamond unto itself and each moment becomes a flowering- but u remain alert. U are not lost on the experience; u don't get identified with it.
Soul
Hence Samyama
When I m aware of my breathe. Not identified with it. I feel so fulfilled.
Self discovery leads to following own path
Mar 15
"Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty."
— Brene Brown
Soul
Like this.
http://consciouslifenews.com/10-signs-spiritually-waking/1182452/
1) Feeling your life rekindled with a new found passion
When you start recognizing yourself for who you truly are, it becomes more evident how the consensual reality you have shared with others is inauthentic and serves you very little purpose. You no longer need to follow goals or benchmarks set by society and culture – you set your own goals and dreams.
You are no longer a fragmented automaton in a pre-programmed social matrix but a free complete individual on the path to self-actualization. You start aligning to your life purpose and true potential. You start doing things that drive you and which you are passionate about. Your worldview changes together with your values and how you prioritize them.
You feel your life is rekindled with a new found passion because you understand the value of living life your way and the freedom to do so.
7) You start seeing the pieces fitting in together
One of the most rewarding things of awakening to your real Self is the easiness of how everything else falls into place. It becomes progressively easier to follow your life purpose and your goals. Things start becoming more and more effortless because you become whole as opposed to experiencing a fragmented self. You become more aware of your multidimensional consciousness and how you fit perfectly in a congenial and sustaining web of life.
You see the pieces fitting in together and this gives you immense trust, peace and self-empowerment.
This is akin to the Taoist philosophy and the concept of Wu Wei (Action through non-action). Since you have no internal friction and energies blocking you, you become attuned to the workings of a higher order principle – The Tao.
"Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty."
— Brene Brown
Soul
Like this.
http://consciouslifenews.com/10-signs-spiritually-waking/1182452/
1) Feeling your life rekindled with a new found passion
When you start recognizing yourself for who you truly are, it becomes more evident how the consensual reality you have shared with others is inauthentic and serves you very little purpose. You no longer need to follow goals or benchmarks set by society and culture – you set your own goals and dreams.
You are no longer a fragmented automaton in a pre-programmed social matrix but a free complete individual on the path to self-actualization. You start aligning to your life purpose and true potential. You start doing things that drive you and which you are passionate about. Your worldview changes together with your values and how you prioritize them.
You feel your life is rekindled with a new found passion because you understand the value of living life your way and the freedom to do so.
7) You start seeing the pieces fitting in together
One of the most rewarding things of awakening to your real Self is the easiness of how everything else falls into place. It becomes progressively easier to follow your life purpose and your goals. Things start becoming more and more effortless because you become whole as opposed to experiencing a fragmented self. You become more aware of your multidimensional consciousness and how you fit perfectly in a congenial and sustaining web of life.
You see the pieces fitting in together and this gives you immense trust, peace and self-empowerment.
This is akin to the Taoist philosophy and the concept of Wu Wei (Action through non-action). Since you have no internal friction and energies blocking you, you become attuned to the workings of a higher order principle – The Tao.
No longer anxious over changes
Mar 14 eve
Many issues at office. Of boss being replaced. Of turnaround.
Issue of me possible being offered posting in ex company.
The old me, or even a year ago I would have been affected. But I m surprised I m not. Very little tot surfaced on them. I m just on the present. Amen.
I no longer feel responsibility for everyone. I now can see everything happens for a reason. And even if they now faced a so called bad situation, they asked for it. Bad situation is a called for help, a call to be freed by others cos they can't freed themselves.
Many issues at office. Of boss being replaced. Of turnaround.
Issue of me possible being offered posting in ex company.
The old me, or even a year ago I would have been affected. But I m surprised I m not. Very little tot surfaced on them. I m just on the present. Amen.
I no longer feel responsibility for everyone. I now can see everything happens for a reason. And even if they now faced a so called bad situation, they asked for it. Bad situation is a called for help, a call to be freed by others cos they can't freed themselves.
My main value is my sadhana and writing
Mar 14
Today woke up, still feeling bit tired at 6.30 am cos I slept around 1 am yesterday.
Snooze bit and woke up.
Now that I know I valued my sadhana and alone time more than anything else, no longer hanker over the hectic corporate. No money is worth it.
No more tots on it anymore.
Did preparatory steps and Surya Kriya, right wrist still swell bit and painful when doing mountain pose. But okay.
Did a short breathing meditation..still my love..just being aware of my breathe..can't wait for this year Samyama.
Shakti is good..these days can see the tots and yet still focus on counting the Kapala Bhakti. Have also increased the spacing between each breathe. Good.
Shambavi is nice.
Wanted to go swimming but couldnt' cos today prayer for dad.
So just woke up and enjoy time with family.
Family is getting more harmonious with the sannidhi.
Amen.
Today weather is still hot and air cond still not okay.
So can't do sannidhi pooja today.
Today woke up, still feeling bit tired at 6.30 am cos I slept around 1 am yesterday.
Snooze bit and woke up.
Now that I know I valued my sadhana and alone time more than anything else, no longer hanker over the hectic corporate. No money is worth it.
No more tots on it anymore.
Did preparatory steps and Surya Kriya, right wrist still swell bit and painful when doing mountain pose. But okay.
Did a short breathing meditation..still my love..just being aware of my breathe..can't wait for this year Samyama.
Shakti is good..these days can see the tots and yet still focus on counting the Kapala Bhakti. Have also increased the spacing between each breathe. Good.
Shambavi is nice.
Wanted to go swimming but couldnt' cos today prayer for dad.
So just woke up and enjoy time with family.
Family is getting more harmonious with the sannidhi.
Amen.
Today weather is still hot and air cond still not okay.
So can't do sannidhi pooja today.
Saturn in Nine of Spades
Mar 13
Saturn
My Daily Card
The Nine of Spades
The Nine of Spades can be a card of loss and disappointment. However, the true nature of the card reveals that its presence in your life for any period of time does not have to be a disaster. In actuality, the Nine of Spades represents making a completion of some importance. Whether this is the end of a certain occupation, way of life, or way of being with your health and body will depend upon the position of the card and the circumstances in your life at the time. But rest assured that some important aspect of your life is coming to an end when this potent card shows up.
This is also one of the death cards and indeed, when this card shows up there will be a death in your life of some kind. We go through many mini-deaths in the course of our lifetime and just like the snake shedding its skin, arrive at a new and better place each time we do so. Therefore the Nine of Spades is not a card to be feared but instead a card to be welcomed. It always has the ability to clear away all the unwanted and useless debris in our life and put us back on a new course where we are much more enlivened and satisfied.
Soul
Today I woke up feeling tired. Alarm clock at 7 am. I just lie back and went into sleep immediately and woke up at 7.30 am.
I was truly tired.
Memories came back..thats why I quit.
I was so tired everyday that I can't wake up early to do my sadhana,
My sadhana is more important than having big money,
Looks like hectic corporate life is definitely out for me...and I must remember I got RA due to my hectic corporate lifestyle..
Saturn
My Daily Card
The Nine of Spades
The Nine of Spades can be a card of loss and disappointment. However, the true nature of the card reveals that its presence in your life for any period of time does not have to be a disaster. In actuality, the Nine of Spades represents making a completion of some importance. Whether this is the end of a certain occupation, way of life, or way of being with your health and body will depend upon the position of the card and the circumstances in your life at the time. But rest assured that some important aspect of your life is coming to an end when this potent card shows up.
This is also one of the death cards and indeed, when this card shows up there will be a death in your life of some kind. We go through many mini-deaths in the course of our lifetime and just like the snake shedding its skin, arrive at a new and better place each time we do so. Therefore the Nine of Spades is not a card to be feared but instead a card to be welcomed. It always has the ability to clear away all the unwanted and useless debris in our life and put us back on a new course where we are much more enlivened and satisfied.
Soul
Today I woke up feeling tired. Alarm clock at 7 am. I just lie back and went into sleep immediately and woke up at 7.30 am.
I was truly tired.
Memories came back..thats why I quit.
I was so tired everyday that I can't wake up early to do my sadhana,
My sadhana is more important than having big money,
Looks like hectic corporate life is definitely out for me...and I must remember I got RA due to my hectic corporate lifestyle..
Keeping to my present job to preserve my sadhana
Mar 12 eve 1
Now watching The voice on television. Feeling good. Looking at how the coaches inspires the singers.
I m happy and contented. I love my own time and space. Money is not the key for me. I can live as now the purchase of Condo won't increase my monthly financial commitment.
Yes, financial security has always been the key in all my decisions. It's my Ruling Ace of Diamonds.
Ace:
You are a leader, an initiator and a person with strong passions for those traits represented by your suit. You can be a loner, are often inpatient and have a pioneering spirit.
Soul
Thats my Ruling..my karmic past..
But I m now already a Queen, need not find new path.
Today evening meditation was deep. One of the deepest I ever experience. Knocked out in Shoonya. Then in breathing. Just going into deep silence and darkness
From facebook
If you are doing something you love...
The society may not pay you..., you may remain poor..but I will tell you, that risk, being poor is worth taking because inner riches will be flowing towards you. You may die poor as far as outside world is concerned, but u will die an emperor as far as ur inner being is concerned and ultimately only that is of value..
Soul
Read this. Yes. I may not be rich. But I m so fulfilled.
My sadhana is the most important. Others are peripheral. The reason I wanted the condo is to create a proper sadhana cum shrine room. To be on high ground. Amen.
I now recalled I was unhappy cos no time for sadhana back then.
Now watching The voice on television. Feeling good. Looking at how the coaches inspires the singers.
I m happy and contented. I love my own time and space. Money is not the key for me. I can live as now the purchase of Condo won't increase my monthly financial commitment.
Yes, financial security has always been the key in all my decisions. It's my Ruling Ace of Diamonds.
Ace:
You are a leader, an initiator and a person with strong passions for those traits represented by your suit. You can be a loner, are often inpatient and have a pioneering spirit.
Soul
Thats my Ruling..my karmic past..
But I m now already a Queen, need not find new path.
Today evening meditation was deep. One of the deepest I ever experience. Knocked out in Shoonya. Then in breathing. Just going into deep silence and darkness
From facebook
If you are doing something you love...
The society may not pay you..., you may remain poor..but I will tell you, that risk, being poor is worth taking because inner riches will be flowing towards you. You may die poor as far as outside world is concerned, but u will die an emperor as far as ur inner being is concerned and ultimately only that is of value..
Soul
Read this. Yes. I may not be rich. But I m so fulfilled.
My sadhana is the most important. Others are peripheral. The reason I wanted the condo is to create a proper sadhana cum shrine room. To be on high ground. Amen.
I now recalled I was unhappy cos no time for sadhana back then.
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