Journey into Isha is like falling in love

Sept 3 eve 1
Father, some judgement came in on why I didn't express myself in the past. I just look at my mind and said I wasn't ready then. It is because of the past I m learning to express myself. Such irony, on surface I seem assertive but when it comes to rship that got validation issue, I tend to hide from confrontation; a true crab.

Osho - razor edge
Sannyas is simply an initiation into new spaces within u, a change from the head to the heart, from logic to love, from ur ordinary conditioning, to an unconditional mind, to a freedom which u are not aware that u r capable of,

Soul
That's my journey since I was initiated to Shambavi, five years ago.
The initiation was mentioned in my 7thunders card readings. Nine of Hearts in age 38 to 51 and Queen of Spades and Five of Diamonds in age 42 to 48.

Osho - razor edge
Sannyas is initiation into freedom, making u aware about ur wings, making u also aware that the whole sky,,with all its stars is yours. U need not worry about security; existence is taking care of so many birds, so many trees, so many stars - it can take care of u too.
Sannyas trust in existence. And the moment u trust, there is no fear, there is no worry, there is no difficulty. Life becomes the most enjoyable, relaxed phenomenon.

Soul
I am there in most areas of my life except for romantic relationship. After the dissolving Seven of Hearts and awareness of Seven of Clubs, I know my romantic life will be effortless from now onwards.

Osho - razor edge
U cannot deliberately take Sannya, it is something like love that happens, it is something like sleep that comes. U cannot make any effort for the sleep or love to happen - these are  not part of world of doings.

Soul
Exactly. I am so liberated. And slowly but surely I am trusting life and flowing with Life.
I always told others that my journey into Isha is like falling in love. I can't help it. I put so much resistance and yet I m drawn deeper into it.
I went to BSP because the placement for Ayur Rasayana was full. I just went because I want a break. BSP was scary, Sadhguru even more scarier. Teetakhoon was explosive. Dhynalinga was oppressive.
Then I went to Vijii's samadhi accidentaly, and I exploded. Vijii brought me into Isha.
Guru Pooja breaks me down and I went in for Shoonya.
Shoonya broke me further and I went in for Hata Yoga.
Samyama was the only program I went on my own.
Five years down the road, I have done a refresher for all programs.
Took me 4 and half years to accept Sadhguru and five years to accept and love Dhynalinga
Looking forward to my Refresher Samyama in Nov 2013

Soul
Amen.