Explosive Meditation

Sept 3 eve
I was disturbed about my sister hitting her teenage son. I felt helpless and also bit guilty. This is not the first time and I tried to advise her previously but she said I m not a mother, so no right to give advice.

Just finished my Shoonya followed by meditation. It was explosive. I wanted to do Samyama but energy was taking me high.
At one point my guilt comes up to judge me for being useless. For hiding away in my room doing meditation, for avoiding confrontation.
I cried and I replied I can't even change Z's mind about us; how can I be expected to change my sister's mind especially knowing she is a Ruling Nine of Hearts and Destiny Eight of Spades. I cried I don't have the strength to do so.
Later I laugh. I don't want to judge myself. Anyone got free will. Just as Sadhguru can't change my mind a few years ago until I change. The same with others. I felt a sense of relief being released of judgement. I thanked all the people I loved before, people who lied to me, hurt me, I thanked them for giving me growth.

After all the head shaking and crying and laughing.
I open my eyes and I felt energised and clean. Just sent a few messages to my sister and I said I m ready to talk if she wants to.