No longer need to prove myself to be perfect

Aug 15
Read my Stories in website joyong.org yesterday it is really good even without edit. Truly slowly but surely overcome my Pluto in Virgo.

Woke up 7.30 am for practices. Did one cycle of Surya and asanas. They were great. Still can touch forehead to both knees. Now need not rest long for the legs up asanas. It seems quite effortless. The bow asanas also good. My mind was singing love songs during the lying down posture. This is the first time.
Did a short Shavasana cos not tired. Breathing in arashidharna posture was lovely. Shakti not good cos my right feet was in pain. Finally stop and use towel to balance but pain still there. Shambavi is great. Aum chanting in arashidharna posture is truly different. Towards the end a contented silence. Mind wanted to sing and I said no. It went off. So lovely.
Throughout practices, just very little tots of Z. When it came in,  I just know its past and ignored, it went off by itself. Amen.
Finally I feel Volume 4 is complete. Will have 3 stories today.

Yesterday i L just gave a flippant reply. I was fine. I offer to help and she declined. I need not pursue. The old me would have called to calm her down and give her new perception and persuades her to come to Sathsang. But the new me doesn't feel the need to. It is her life, her karma. It's her right to sulk that others don't see her helpfulness.
Father, I also have my rights too. Right not to give if I feel I can't. In the end, giving independence is the key. I always tot why me have to take up difficult people, prod people to see the light. Now I can see that I just give when I want. I need not pursue it. Just like my writing, one way. Just like Sadhguru writing in his FB, one way. He gave and its up to recipients. I have told L her approach was not right and would antagonise people. She scolded me and hang up on me. She then do her way and proceed to antagonise people. P is not as patient as me and she blast her off. I can't say I m patient, its my high emotional control plus fear of loss of validation that holds me back.

Four of Clubs
The card of mental satisfaction and stability. Whenever this card appears, u can bet u will experience some mental peace for awhile.

Soul
Amen.