Decision no more from fear based

Jul 30

Yesterday again receive offer to join the ex-company. The one I quit as I couldn't handle the work pressure and long hours and domineering boss.
For a moment, I tot I may accept the offer due to me wanting more money.
Tot of working for a few years so can pay off my condo loan commitment.
Drove back and when I reached home, I knew that I am not happy if I go.
I m only considering due to fear of financial security,
I just sit with the Devi, listening to Sadhguru chant and transported to Devi's temple.

Had a good sleep, woke up before alarm around 4 plus.
When I woke up I knew that I want to make my decision on being happy, not ruled by fear.
I want money and Devi will bring me new ways to make money.
So will tell my boss that I won't be going for the potential offer.

Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by cat stretch.
My right elbow is bit painful due to the 'odd muscle growth'. All these years I tot it was due to the wrongly joint of ulna and radius but Homeopathy doctor said it is due to abnormal growth. He said I m lucky that I can move my hand normally.
Yogaasanas was quite good. Laughing during the one leg lifting up. On the two legs, managed to breathe longer. As for the rest, I didn't hold up too well.
Plough back is very good
61 points awareness meditation..was bit off..can't focus..just feel good.

Breathing meditation was something else. I was aware of my inner presence. I felt my body was a casing. The presence is ground.

Shakti was good...but bit fast on Kapala Bhakti.
Singing opening invocation at the end of Shakti.

Shambavi is quite okay.
Just feeling the silence presence within.

So glad that I read the age 49 to 55.
I am ready to leave my fear of financial security.

Displacement in Age 49 to 55 (Ruling)
Nine of Spades (loss of jobs, poor health, death, a major ending of some component of our lifestyle)

This is likely to be a crucial year for u in which a major chapter of ur life comes to an end. Some aspects of ur life has reached a point of fulfilment and now must be swept away to make room for new cycle of growth and opportunity.
Be prepared and open to endings in most any area and you will be less likely to suffer the disappointment and frustration generally associated with this card.

Often health matters comes into play with this powerful card. If u have any negative habits that affect ur health adversely, there is a very good chance that these habits will have to be cleared out by this year. In many cases, it can be a matter of life or death - get rid of the bad habits or else.
But for those who are aware of themselves, there will be no surprises and the endings will be seen as the next stage in their evolutionary journey.

Another common manifestation of this card is loss of job or the death of one more people close to us. In any of these cases, regardless of how unfair they may seems to us at the time, whatever is lost was not really a part of us that was good for us anymore.
It is only the fear of the unknown that keeps us clinging on to jobs, rships and other things that we know inside are not good for us. We would rather suffer with the familiar than have to face an uncertain future.

But when the Nine of Spades come along, major housecleaning will occur. Just what areas of ur life are affected, whether it be work, health, lifestyle or rships, will depend upon ur personal circumstances. Life is an always-changing phenomenon and though we are attached to things the way they are, everything must evolve and grow eventually.
This year marks important graduation year for u.
U have come a long way with things they way they are and have now progressed far enough that u are ready for a new future.
All that remains is to clear out the old to make way for the new.

Soul
I am so glad that I m going to Ashram.
Devi will guide me to whatever new ways to make money.