May 26
My regional boss says that I seem to be enjoying myself now. I told him, yeap. He ask if I tot of regional job. I says nope. He says I hold regional job previously and I replied that was years ago. I admit my ego did momentarily consider n tot of d opportunity. But a tot came in, don't go back. And besides u have to take care of ur health.
Checked to my next year long range card, Six of Spade - stability in most matter, need to watch out for health by eating balancely. Will also found my destiny/fate. My pluto lesson is 10 of club, sharing of knowledge, and mind can be working overtime. Result card is 10 of heart, achieving public success.
10 of club
They must learn to regain control over their mind which has developed somewhat of a life of its own.
The best path back to self-mastery is to direct the mind into right motives and higher principles.
The strong desire for spiritual wisdom and study of spiritual philosophies will bring contact with many uplifting groups and will increase enjoyment of life.
Soul
Looks like I am on track. I think RA somehow keep me in check. And as for my weight gain, it will keep me in check for over indulgence.
Six of Spade - the card of FATE
The strongest of karma cards in the realms of work and health.
It is a settling of account if u have not been 'good'
It will cause a settling of all affairs and at the same time bring some much needed peace into ur life.
If during that time. U take some time to tune in to ur deepest tots and feelings, u may become aware of a special message for u that comes from inside.
This message may lead u to perform a special mission in ur life, one that uplifts others in some important way.
Osho
Krishna's inaction is on the absence of the doer, not on the absence of action itself.
He who accepts life in its totality need not compromise at all. Or u can say, he has already made his peace, his compromise.
Hesitation is good but to be always in a state of hesitation is not good.
Hesitancy is the transitional stage of the beginning of the journey. Hesitation has to be transcended at the point where both sides of truth are seen as one and inseparable.
Tessie Lim
Think of ur life's greatest ambition. What will u do that will get u one step closer to living ur dream? Name ur greatest strength. What are some ways u can nourish this gift? Do u know ur weaknessess? How would you effectively overcome these? What does ur future self look like, sound like, and feel like? Is that image compelling enough for u to put all ur energy behind achieving it?
It's all about implementation ... Success is in what we do, not what we say. Is there anything standing beside you and ur goal? What are the worst possible challenges u could face? How could u guard against them? What are u assuming? What if u r wrong? To self-correct, what actions would u take?
Its great that u have goals, but without a strategy, there isn't enough energy to sustain the momentum of going forward and ultimately we buckle at the slightest challenge.
Well thought-out action plan complete with steps and stages so that we can track and measure success. Unless we set benchmarks, we are unlikely to manage the process of achieving our dreams.
Are u fully committed to ur personal development?
Do u have an action plan that will make u unstoppable? Who will hold u accountable to this outcome?
Aren't coaches like any psychiatrist? Aren't coaches for people who have problem? Au contraine.
A coach is for those committed to excellence.
The opposite of excellence? Frustration, hopelessness, the feeling of being stuck.
Are u flying high or merely existing! What if u had excellence in every area of ur life.
Soul
This mornin, surprisingly read Expat and got some msg that Action plan is required. I will proceed.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Focus on my path (2)
May 25
Father, mmm looks like I am occupied with me weight. Aiyah, just let it be lah and like the grown up me.
I am ok wit my grown size. I was only afraid to grow bigger. And now this weekend to Penang. Anyway, consciousness is the key word.
Osho
1. The Issue - Schizophrenia
You are a marketplace - many voices. If u wan to say 'yes', immediately the 'no' is there. You cannot utter a simple word 'yes' with totality.
The only way out of this dilemma is, to let go of both pros and cons. You can't work ur way out of this one by solving it wit ur mind. Better follow ur heart. Just jump.
Soul
Yeap, I was in dilemma and even when I said yes and acted on it and issued all the promo emails to media and my friends. I felt bit regretful later on. Good thing is I hav this attribute of what's done is done, no point worrying abt it. Its opening up, its declaring. So far yday, no reply from friends except J and P.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
We are the World
Only in celebration, do we meet the ultimate, the eternal.
This card represent a time of communication, of sharing the riches that each of us brings to the whole.
This is a circle without fear of feelings of inferiority and superiority. When we recognise the common source of our humanity, the common origins of our dreams and longings, our hopes and fears, we are able to see that we are all joined together in the great miracle of existence.
Soul
Got a contact at NST and now need to sell it so that they can have regular articles. If not, at the very least one article 2 weeks before the IE pgrm.
3. External influence of which u r aware.
Understanding.
Jus drop clinging to the cage, move out and the whole sky is yours. Open ur wings and fly across the sun like an eagle.
You are being summoned by the grace and freedom and encouragement of the others.
It may feel a little shaky at first, and its ok. Just don't let it overshadow the opportinity to experience the lightheartedness and adventure on offer, right there alongside the shakiness.
Soul
Yep, I know. I am flying out. Still shaky, don't know the outcome. I jus know I have to do it cos its my path. I can't deny it any longer and I know if I don't do it, RA becomes worst due to the inner fight. I can remove the fight and my life path is known.
I may not know if I met my destiny in this lifetime, but at least I know my life path and I will follow it. I wan to go forward.
This mornin, I do feel bit tired and not looking forward my practices. But I told myself, this is my life path. Just do it. I did and surprisingly I wasn't as sleepy as I tot. And when my head/shoulder bend forward to touch the floor, it was so effortless as if I can just rest there.
Coincidentally, I just changed my phone screen image to flying birds in the sky.
4. What is needed for resolution
Receptivity.
Listening means forgetting yourself completely - only then u can listen
When u jus listen, u become a passage, a passivity, a receptivity, u become feminine.
God can reach you only when u r receptive.
Don't let ur head and aggressive mind to hinder ur pure receptivity.
Be grateful for whatever life brings, without any expectations or demands.
Neither duty or thought of merit or reward are important.
5. Resolution
Ice-olation.
We are miserable because we are too much in the self. To be in the self, means to make a distinction between 'this I am' and 'that I am not'.
The boundary between "I" and "not I" is what the self is --the self isolates. And it makes u frozen, u are no longer flowing. In love the boundaries disappear; in joy also the boundaries disappear, because joy is not cold.
We may have feel that the only way to survive is to close off our feelings and emotions so we can't be hurt again. If the pain is particularly deep, we might even try to hide it from ourselves.
Soul
I tot of this as not sure if people accept the meditative me. They laughed at the foodie me and think m inferior for not having any interest apart from food. Wonder if they laughed at me cos disbelief that I am into meditation. I wonder if they too would set expectation on me. I don't wan to open up cos I don't want to give people a chance to evaluate whether they approve / disapprove of me. I don't wan to take the test. Alas, I have taken. Now slight apprehensive abt result. Cos no reply means rejection. Of course, now I know no reply means they themselves not sure, not becos they disapprove of me. I wonder if they think m acting superior by going spiritual when I am so physical related.
Aiyah...ball has rolled.
Father, mmm looks like I am occupied with me weight. Aiyah, just let it be lah and like the grown up me.
I am ok wit my grown size. I was only afraid to grow bigger. And now this weekend to Penang. Anyway, consciousness is the key word.
Osho
1. The Issue - Schizophrenia
You are a marketplace - many voices. If u wan to say 'yes', immediately the 'no' is there. You cannot utter a simple word 'yes' with totality.
The only way out of this dilemma is, to let go of both pros and cons. You can't work ur way out of this one by solving it wit ur mind. Better follow ur heart. Just jump.
Soul
Yeap, I was in dilemma and even when I said yes and acted on it and issued all the promo emails to media and my friends. I felt bit regretful later on. Good thing is I hav this attribute of what's done is done, no point worrying abt it. Its opening up, its declaring. So far yday, no reply from friends except J and P.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
We are the World
Only in celebration, do we meet the ultimate, the eternal.
This card represent a time of communication, of sharing the riches that each of us brings to the whole.
This is a circle without fear of feelings of inferiority and superiority. When we recognise the common source of our humanity, the common origins of our dreams and longings, our hopes and fears, we are able to see that we are all joined together in the great miracle of existence.
Soul
Got a contact at NST and now need to sell it so that they can have regular articles. If not, at the very least one article 2 weeks before the IE pgrm.
3. External influence of which u r aware.
Understanding.
Jus drop clinging to the cage, move out and the whole sky is yours. Open ur wings and fly across the sun like an eagle.
You are being summoned by the grace and freedom and encouragement of the others.
It may feel a little shaky at first, and its ok. Just don't let it overshadow the opportinity to experience the lightheartedness and adventure on offer, right there alongside the shakiness.
Soul
Yep, I know. I am flying out. Still shaky, don't know the outcome. I jus know I have to do it cos its my path. I can't deny it any longer and I know if I don't do it, RA becomes worst due to the inner fight. I can remove the fight and my life path is known.
I may not know if I met my destiny in this lifetime, but at least I know my life path and I will follow it. I wan to go forward.
This mornin, I do feel bit tired and not looking forward my practices. But I told myself, this is my life path. Just do it. I did and surprisingly I wasn't as sleepy as I tot. And when my head/shoulder bend forward to touch the floor, it was so effortless as if I can just rest there.
Coincidentally, I just changed my phone screen image to flying birds in the sky.
4. What is needed for resolution
Receptivity.
Listening means forgetting yourself completely - only then u can listen
When u jus listen, u become a passage, a passivity, a receptivity, u become feminine.
God can reach you only when u r receptive.
Don't let ur head and aggressive mind to hinder ur pure receptivity.
Be grateful for whatever life brings, without any expectations or demands.
Neither duty or thought of merit or reward are important.
5. Resolution
Ice-olation.
We are miserable because we are too much in the self. To be in the self, means to make a distinction between 'this I am' and 'that I am not'.
The boundary between "I" and "not I" is what the self is --the self isolates. And it makes u frozen, u are no longer flowing. In love the boundaries disappear; in joy also the boundaries disappear, because joy is not cold.
We may have feel that the only way to survive is to close off our feelings and emotions so we can't be hurt again. If the pain is particularly deep, we might even try to hide it from ourselves.
Soul
I tot of this as not sure if people accept the meditative me. They laughed at the foodie me and think m inferior for not having any interest apart from food. Wonder if they laughed at me cos disbelief that I am into meditation. I wonder if they too would set expectation on me. I don't wan to open up cos I don't want to give people a chance to evaluate whether they approve / disapprove of me. I don't wan to take the test. Alas, I have taken. Now slight apprehensive abt result. Cos no reply means rejection. Of course, now I know no reply means they themselves not sure, not becos they disapprove of me. I wonder if they think m acting superior by going spiritual when I am so physical related.
Aiyah...ball has rolled.
Focus on my path
May 24
Was having a dream and feeling drowsy. Wish I didn't have to wake up. Then tot, this is my path. Jus do it.
Then second tot, bit apprehensive of how people will perceive. Wish I didn't disclose to people abt my meditation. Another tot, never mind, its time I open up. Need to go thru this transformation.
Had a good breathing meditation. Love it.
Father, had a small nudge today but car is fine.
Good thing I was late, bump into ec-colleague now working in same building. Got alternative. Thank u. Like I believe u know better. When it happen, I was fine and I tot u jus giving me a small nudge to push me ahead. Then n there I decide and behold u gave me alternative route, something I hav been asking.
Was having a dream and feeling drowsy. Wish I didn't have to wake up. Then tot, this is my path. Jus do it.
Then second tot, bit apprehensive of how people will perceive. Wish I didn't disclose to people abt my meditation. Another tot, never mind, its time I open up. Need to go thru this transformation.
Had a good breathing meditation. Love it.
Father, had a small nudge today but car is fine.
Good thing I was late, bump into ec-colleague now working in same building. Got alternative. Thank u. Like I believe u know better. When it happen, I was fine and I tot u jus giving me a small nudge to push me ahead. Then n there I decide and behold u gave me alternative route, something I hav been asking.
Counselling path
May 20 Even
Father, today I gave the biz idea and even outlined the agenda for CEO's talk with major client. She then present my idea to the Management team and they said that its fantastic idea. No matter, the outcome, there will be a direction forward.
Me, I m looking at myself. Gained weight. The input more than output. Next week still continue.
Jus now when doing meditation, a tot came, just be conscious in eating. Besides my aim is Self Mastery and definitely need to manage my food intake.
Actually, its not the intake that's big, its the output that is small. I used to be balanced by the energy used for work. Now I only use 50 percent energy and infact can actually do 3 days week in May.
Have dinner, focus on vege. Luckily the curry is ave and besides I already have chicken rice in the afternoon, so bit full. I ate the birthday cake, consciously taking a small slice. But it taste good and I wan to eat some more. But I didn't follow my tot.
Father, its time I look at my issue with food.
On my jupiter period - counseling. Called Befriender and they say no intake for this year. I admit I was relieved and text D wit a smile. She replied perhaps Befriender is either not meant to be for me yet and I am to find other things.
1 hour later received sms from an ex-colleague and she send me the course.
I text D again and she replied that Universe is not letting me go so easily.
Yeap, a sign to stay on track.
Jus read d course and I am keen, cos its 1 class in 1 qtr and total 4 qtr. Class start Sept. After the Basic 12 mth, there is an Advance 18 mth.
Yeap, I will take this.
Father, today I gave the biz idea and even outlined the agenda for CEO's talk with major client. She then present my idea to the Management team and they said that its fantastic idea. No matter, the outcome, there will be a direction forward.
Me, I m looking at myself. Gained weight. The input more than output. Next week still continue.
Jus now when doing meditation, a tot came, just be conscious in eating. Besides my aim is Self Mastery and definitely need to manage my food intake.
Actually, its not the intake that's big, its the output that is small. I used to be balanced by the energy used for work. Now I only use 50 percent energy and infact can actually do 3 days week in May.
Have dinner, focus on vege. Luckily the curry is ave and besides I already have chicken rice in the afternoon, so bit full. I ate the birthday cake, consciously taking a small slice. But it taste good and I wan to eat some more. But I didn't follow my tot.
Father, its time I look at my issue with food.
On my jupiter period - counseling. Called Befriender and they say no intake for this year. I admit I was relieved and text D wit a smile. She replied perhaps Befriender is either not meant to be for me yet and I am to find other things.
1 hour later received sms from an ex-colleague and she send me the course.
I text D again and she replied that Universe is not letting me go so easily.
Yeap, a sign to stay on track.
Jus read d course and I am keen, cos its 1 class in 1 qtr and total 4 qtr. Class start Sept. After the Basic 12 mth, there is an Advance 18 mth.
Yeap, I will take this.
Input more than output (2)
May 20
When I woke up at 4.30 am, was feeling drowsy cos I was dreaming. Then I got up and I perk myself up that my dream is have Self Mastery and I can achieve it via my spiritual path, but need to be hardworking and diligent. With that, I start my mornin practices.
This morning hatha yoga, I was laughing. It has been awhile already. I was even singing and dancing, something that has never happen for hatha before. Even Shambavi some giggle. It really has been too long since I hear laughter in the morning.
Father, I have gained weight. Firstly, when I came back from Samyama, deprived of meat and then follow with 1 week of conference and later continuous big lunches wit CEO. In general, double my normal intake. The jeans is even tight and its expensive n I don't wan to buy new jeans.
If I continue this way, I hav to do more exercise and I don't wan to pay such a big price for food intake. I am already having 7 days of exercise in the morning. That's more than enough.
Was contemplating on reducing breakfast portion. A tot came in, my natal chart says that as long as my weight fluctuate, its due to imbalance between giving and receiving.
I admit I haven't been giving. Even the latest politic among my staff, I was also reluctant to handle.
Tot of my Miser card and for me to be at the Source.
Now reading my resolution card - Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then you will enter the temple. True celebration arised from a joy that is first experienced deep within, and spills over to an overflow of song and dance.
Osho
Meditation - first level u wil touched individual unconsciousness and second level is collective unconsciousness and third level is cosmic unconscious.
When u passed ur individual stage, u r part of collective mind. Then u don't feel u r dancing - it feels that dance is going on and you are just a part of it. It does not seem that u r laughing, it seems laughter is happening and u r just a part of it.
Soul
I have experienced the collective unconscious. Especially the dance. Such coordination, no way is me. And the laughter, there is no emotion/feel, laughing sound is just there.
Osho
When u r in cosmic unconscious, your awareness undergoes a complete mutation. Then u cease to feel that u r a part of the whole, rather u know that u and the whole are one - u r totality.
Soul
Not sure if I have encountered.
Osho
Remembering u r divine, comes through relaxation, silence and emptiness. Jus be still and empty.
You are utterly mistaken if u think u r a doer; you are merely an instrument in the hands of divine.
Let it do what it wants to be done through you, and let go of yourself.
When I woke up at 4.30 am, was feeling drowsy cos I was dreaming. Then I got up and I perk myself up that my dream is have Self Mastery and I can achieve it via my spiritual path, but need to be hardworking and diligent. With that, I start my mornin practices.
This morning hatha yoga, I was laughing. It has been awhile already. I was even singing and dancing, something that has never happen for hatha before. Even Shambavi some giggle. It really has been too long since I hear laughter in the morning.
Father, I have gained weight. Firstly, when I came back from Samyama, deprived of meat and then follow with 1 week of conference and later continuous big lunches wit CEO. In general, double my normal intake. The jeans is even tight and its expensive n I don't wan to buy new jeans.
If I continue this way, I hav to do more exercise and I don't wan to pay such a big price for food intake. I am already having 7 days of exercise in the morning. That's more than enough.
Was contemplating on reducing breakfast portion. A tot came in, my natal chart says that as long as my weight fluctuate, its due to imbalance between giving and receiving.
I admit I haven't been giving. Even the latest politic among my staff, I was also reluctant to handle.
Tot of my Miser card and for me to be at the Source.
Now reading my resolution card - Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then you will enter the temple. True celebration arised from a joy that is first experienced deep within, and spills over to an overflow of song and dance.
Osho
Meditation - first level u wil touched individual unconsciousness and second level is collective unconsciousness and third level is cosmic unconscious.
When u passed ur individual stage, u r part of collective mind. Then u don't feel u r dancing - it feels that dance is going on and you are just a part of it. It does not seem that u r laughing, it seems laughter is happening and u r just a part of it.
Soul
I have experienced the collective unconscious. Especially the dance. Such coordination, no way is me. And the laughter, there is no emotion/feel, laughing sound is just there.
Osho
When u r in cosmic unconscious, your awareness undergoes a complete mutation. Then u cease to feel that u r a part of the whole, rather u know that u and the whole are one - u r totality.
Soul
Not sure if I have encountered.
Osho
Remembering u r divine, comes through relaxation, silence and emptiness. Jus be still and empty.
You are utterly mistaken if u think u r a doer; you are merely an instrument in the hands of divine.
Let it do what it wants to be done through you, and let go of yourself.
Ego down; Joy arise
May 19 Even
Osho
Man needs drugs because civilisation has dulled your senses. Drug is harmful, but to live without sensitivity is not to live at all. Drug cannot be stopped unless man is made sensitive again. Drugs will disappear once man becomes
sensitive again.
A sensitive person will feel that his sensitivity is lessened thru drugs, whereas a dull person will feel his sensitivity grows.
Ego is the greatest drug. LSD is nothing. Alcohol is nothing.
Ego keep you so drugged, so unconscious. Once the body attains to sensitivity, you will find joy through the body, great joy. Everything is joyful, looking at trees, swimming in the river, etc. You will be able to dance and sing if the body is resurrected.
Ego has to disappear, but not to be repressed, otherwise it will bubble up on a deeper level. When the ego disappear from the mind, knowledge disappears, knowing arises; you don't have any knowledge, but u have a capacity to know. You will have great insight. Scriptures disappear, borrowed knowledge becomes meaningless, your own knowing capacity arises. You have an inner lamp, and your silence grows.
Osho
Man needs drugs because civilisation has dulled your senses. Drug is harmful, but to live without sensitivity is not to live at all. Drug cannot be stopped unless man is made sensitive again. Drugs will disappear once man becomes
sensitive again.
A sensitive person will feel that his sensitivity is lessened thru drugs, whereas a dull person will feel his sensitivity grows.
Ego is the greatest drug. LSD is nothing. Alcohol is nothing.
Ego keep you so drugged, so unconscious. Once the body attains to sensitivity, you will find joy through the body, great joy. Everything is joyful, looking at trees, swimming in the river, etc. You will be able to dance and sing if the body is resurrected.
Ego has to disappear, but not to be repressed, otherwise it will bubble up on a deeper level. When the ego disappear from the mind, knowledge disappears, knowing arises; you don't have any knowledge, but u have a capacity to know. You will have great insight. Scriptures disappear, borrowed knowledge becomes meaningless, your own knowing capacity arises. You have an inner lamp, and your silence grows.
Mental stress
May 19
Father, these 2 weeks, noticed that my breathin meditation is out. Today, I think I may have dozed off too. Nevermind, this is a down time, just ride it.
This morning, finger also stiffer but it is not that bad. So, have faith.
Osho
The mental stress and tension the West is suffering from today is the the direct result of too much thinking. The anxiety and anguish of the West comes from thinking stretched to its ultimate. It is suffering under the crushing weight of the mind.
The whole of West has collectively reached a point where Chaitanya had once travelled individually. It is the same last frontier of mind and intellect, where Chaitanya absolutely tired of thinking and realised that it leads nowhere.
On their journey to unthinkable, some are taking drugs like LSD, some are going to ashram in India, Himalayan mountains and Zen monastries in Japan.
LSD cannot take them far, travel to India and Japan are not going to last long. Eventually, they will have to discover their own consciousness, their own soul, they cannot live long on credit.
A country that is suffering will look for Christ to alleviate their pain and suffering. Christian symbol of the cross comes closest to the agonised mind of this country.
A country that is affluent, can afford the dance and song of Krishna. Their only pain is that which stems from affluence. Their affluence is frightening; and they don't know what to do wit it.
Therefore Jesus's influence in India is growing, while it is declining in the West.
Osho
When one is given a seed word, it means with the help of this single word, he has to drop all other words which infest his mind.
If he does not have the courage to drop all words together once and for all, he is asked to hold on to a seed word, and to get rid of all other words with its help.
But ultimately, he will have to get rid of the seed word as well. The seed word cannot take him to the truth, but it can certainly take him to the gate of the temple of truth.
Soul
My question on Shoonya answered. I had dropped the seed word after 1 week.
Father, these 2 weeks, noticed that my breathin meditation is out. Today, I think I may have dozed off too. Nevermind, this is a down time, just ride it.
This morning, finger also stiffer but it is not that bad. So, have faith.
Osho
The mental stress and tension the West is suffering from today is the the direct result of too much thinking. The anxiety and anguish of the West comes from thinking stretched to its ultimate. It is suffering under the crushing weight of the mind.
The whole of West has collectively reached a point where Chaitanya had once travelled individually. It is the same last frontier of mind and intellect, where Chaitanya absolutely tired of thinking and realised that it leads nowhere.
On their journey to unthinkable, some are taking drugs like LSD, some are going to ashram in India, Himalayan mountains and Zen monastries in Japan.
LSD cannot take them far, travel to India and Japan are not going to last long. Eventually, they will have to discover their own consciousness, their own soul, they cannot live long on credit.
A country that is suffering will look for Christ to alleviate their pain and suffering. Christian symbol of the cross comes closest to the agonised mind of this country.
A country that is affluent, can afford the dance and song of Krishna. Their only pain is that which stems from affluence. Their affluence is frightening; and they don't know what to do wit it.
Therefore Jesus's influence in India is growing, while it is declining in the West.
Osho
When one is given a seed word, it means with the help of this single word, he has to drop all other words which infest his mind.
If he does not have the courage to drop all words together once and for all, he is asked to hold on to a seed word, and to get rid of all other words with its help.
But ultimately, he will have to get rid of the seed word as well. The seed word cannot take him to the truth, but it can certainly take him to the gate of the temple of truth.
Soul
My question on Shoonya answered. I had dropped the seed word after 1 week.
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