Sept 14
Father, today was fine. My hatha is ok and this time I hold back more. The breathing was good. I find myself sensing the breathe as it move in and out of my body. Shambavi good too. Alas, no sweetness and bliss, but a calmness that has more depth than what I previously experienced.
Father, I am really amazed at CEO. She is really going inward and look and acknowledged her fear. This confirm my belief that high ego is also a good thing becos u need courage to go in and look at urself.
She gave me the motivation. This mornin I tot of making 7thunder cards as my base, Osho for specific issue. Personality card for ruling card.
Osho
1. The Issue - New Vision
When u open up to the ultimate, it pours into u. You are no longer an ordinary human being - u have transcended. You have found your roots.
Your inner being, when it opens up, first experience two directions: the height, the depth. And then slowly as this becomes ur established situation, it spread into eight directions.
Now u r presented an opportunity to see life in all its dimensions, from the depth to the heights.
We come to know from experience that the dark and the difficult are needed as much as the light an easy. By allowing all life colours to penetrate us, we become more integrated.
Soul
Great to hear that. The blissfulness was the height and now I have gone in deeper. My energy circumference has expanded.
Yeap, suffering is blessing.
2. Internal Influence - The Burden
A man's true life is the way in which he puts off the life imposed by others on him. The lie cannot become the truth, the personality cannot be ur soul.
See the lie, look deep into the lie of ur personailty. Becos to see the lie, is to cease to be and what is left is the truth.
So shrug of ur shoulders and see what it feels like to walk without these characters on ur back. You have ur own mountain to conquer, ur own dreams to fulfill, but u will never have the energy to pursue them until u release urself from all the expectations u have gathered from others but now think are ur own. Its time lighten up and send them on their way.
Soul
Tot of my Ace of Diamond ruling card and my Five of Heart mercury card. They are such opposite to Queen of Diamond in some aspects.
Father, I want to stay focus on the tools I have found and known to be good for my path as Transformational Leader.
I want to be focused in my Path. Mmm, a year ago I see this card differently as me carrying my expectation of myself. And now is me carrying my Ruling and Mercury cards. Guess I am going deeper and deeper.
3. External Influence - Consciousness.
There is crystal clarity available righ now, detached and rooted in the deep stillness that lies at the core of ur being. There is no desire to understand from the perspective of the mind - the understanding u have now is existential, whole, in harmony with the pulse of life itself.
Accept this gift, and share it.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Politics
All but the more innocent and and sincere of us have the politician lurking somewhere in our minds. The minds is political. It nature is to plan and scheme and try to manipulate situations and people so that it get what it wants.
Soul
Now I understand. This is in respect of my Five of Heart and Ace of Diamond. They are both of the mind's attributes. I need to ignore my mind so I can let go of them.
5. Resolution
Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration, and then u will enter the temple.
Don't be too wise, too clever. Your cleverness is your disease.
Always remember to stop. A little foolishness and a little wisdom is good, and the right combination makes u a buddha!
You are becoming more available and open to the many opportunities that are to celebrate in life and to spread this by contagion to others.
Soul
Yea!
Tot of great food this Sat. Great that its only 30 days, 25 Sept instead of 16 Sept. Father, funny I have accepted and here U gave me many gifts. Amen.
Sadhguru
The whole reason why u make a pilgrimage to Kailash is to understand and experience that there is something beyond what you logically know in this world as 'real'. Either u remain within the limitations of ur logic or u taste the magic. The logical will handle the mundane, which u must take care of. But at the same time, a point should come where u r willing to leave logic aside and taste the magic of life. Otherwise, life will remain mundane and nothing beyond it will ever touch u.
Soul
Same msg as Osho
Father, I have already experienced many time over, beyond logic.
For me, till now no interest on Kailash. For me, its not the spirituality that is the issue. Its the physical. In the end, I will reach the body. It is also the money.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Gain awareness in suffering
Sept 13 Even
Father, I know what it was. The gap between my department and the operations has both reversed and increased.
Previously under D, operations more in control than mine, that's why D was frustrated.
Now my department has improved so much and Operations worse off than previously and so it is now my turn to be frustrated especially since I am taking a pay cut.
I guess I have to do my part to talk to GM about my frustration and her action plan to pull up her department to speed.
(Oct 15 - finally told her about my edginess in her not fulfilling her role. But alas, that is because I too am not fulfiling my role in my Destiny)
This mornin when I read Osho - Internal - politics. I said cannot be. Well, its there now. Thank U.
Tot of GM; she says she is tired of doing the same thing. She is no longer enthusiastic.
Tot of CEO; she says she is tired of doing the same thing. She finds her job a drudgery now. It was amazing that CEO admitted she is fearful that she is no longer use, no longer contributing to the Company (no wonder she was so angry at me when I told her that she only does rship building and nothing else). It took guts for her to tell me. Amen.
Mmm, both of them facing the same thing. Actually I too now question the role of GM. She is not maintaining and controlling her team and processes, she is not bringing in new biz.
I guess for me is the fear that they will jeopardise my valuation. When the team member doesn't perform, it affects us. Also, now I no longer willing to do other dept's work unlike previously. I no longer want to carry other people burden. So, now need to learn to express myself. Will do that. Thanks to PD's advice.
Mmm, I have met my Saturn (MF) and Pluto (A and conman). I m fine. Now is Jupiter/Cosmic Result and Cosmic Lesson.
Evenin
Father, did my shoonya, a little samyama and shakti. Didn't focus that well, but my deep breathing was good. Guess its all the expectation, wanting to recapture. Is good for me.
Also, amazingly that I accepted 40 days vegetarian without much fuss and here am granted reprieve, only 30 days required and I need only to stay 1 day before and after. Definitely easier than last time. Well, not seeking enlightenment (no more such foolish hope ... Not so nice; just say high hope); I just want to deepen my meditation. I know I can go even deeper, just need Sadhguru's help to propel me.
Osho - Nanak
Self-restraint is a furnace where the goal is purified. But u must be prepared to pass through the fire. Only by going through the difficulties and troubles does a person attain supreme happiness.
When u pass through suffering in full awareness, when u accept the anguish and pain it brings, and when u look upon it as the path, the inevitable furnace of life through which u must pass in order to be purified, then the whole alchemy of suffering changes.
Soul
Is this my 40 days to 30 days veg and the 4 days to 2 days extra days.
Osho - Nanak
Everyone passes through pain and sorrow, be he in the world or a sannyasin. He who passes through suffering with full awareness, with the attitude of acceptance, makes his suffering a stepping stone and goes beyond suffering.
To practice restraint is to accept the suffering as the spiritual path.
One should not be vanquished by it, but on the contrary, make it a stepping stone and rise above it. Therefore, it is like a furnace.
Father, I know what it was. The gap between my department and the operations has both reversed and increased.
Previously under D, operations more in control than mine, that's why D was frustrated.
Now my department has improved so much and Operations worse off than previously and so it is now my turn to be frustrated especially since I am taking a pay cut.
I guess I have to do my part to talk to GM about my frustration and her action plan to pull up her department to speed.
(Oct 15 - finally told her about my edginess in her not fulfilling her role. But alas, that is because I too am not fulfiling my role in my Destiny)
This mornin when I read Osho - Internal - politics. I said cannot be. Well, its there now. Thank U.
Tot of GM; she says she is tired of doing the same thing. She is no longer enthusiastic.
Tot of CEO; she says she is tired of doing the same thing. She finds her job a drudgery now. It was amazing that CEO admitted she is fearful that she is no longer use, no longer contributing to the Company (no wonder she was so angry at me when I told her that she only does rship building and nothing else). It took guts for her to tell me. Amen.
Mmm, both of them facing the same thing. Actually I too now question the role of GM. She is not maintaining and controlling her team and processes, she is not bringing in new biz.
I guess for me is the fear that they will jeopardise my valuation. When the team member doesn't perform, it affects us. Also, now I no longer willing to do other dept's work unlike previously. I no longer want to carry other people burden. So, now need to learn to express myself. Will do that. Thanks to PD's advice.
Mmm, I have met my Saturn (MF) and Pluto (A and conman). I m fine. Now is Jupiter/Cosmic Result and Cosmic Lesson.
Evenin
Father, did my shoonya, a little samyama and shakti. Didn't focus that well, but my deep breathing was good. Guess its all the expectation, wanting to recapture. Is good for me.
Also, amazingly that I accepted 40 days vegetarian without much fuss and here am granted reprieve, only 30 days required and I need only to stay 1 day before and after. Definitely easier than last time. Well, not seeking enlightenment (no more such foolish hope ... Not so nice; just say high hope); I just want to deepen my meditation. I know I can go even deeper, just need Sadhguru's help to propel me.
Osho - Nanak
Self-restraint is a furnace where the goal is purified. But u must be prepared to pass through the fire. Only by going through the difficulties and troubles does a person attain supreme happiness.
When u pass through suffering in full awareness, when u accept the anguish and pain it brings, and when u look upon it as the path, the inevitable furnace of life through which u must pass in order to be purified, then the whole alchemy of suffering changes.
Soul
Is this my 40 days to 30 days veg and the 4 days to 2 days extra days.
Osho - Nanak
Everyone passes through pain and sorrow, be he in the world or a sannyasin. He who passes through suffering with full awareness, with the attitude of acceptance, makes his suffering a stepping stone and goes beyond suffering.
To practice restraint is to accept the suffering as the spiritual path.
One should not be vanquished by it, but on the contrary, make it a stepping stone and rise above it. Therefore, it is like a furnace.
To change others, we must change ourselves first
Sept 13
Father, my left foot is swelling. But m fine.
This morning shambavi is ok. At least these days, I bring myself back when I wander.
On 7thunder cards, its getting more interesting. I realised that there is a connection between 5 of Heart (my Mercury) to Queen of Diamond (my Birth card). Quite complex, but I think there is a trail.
Heal Ur life
This is the only way to change others - change ourselves first. Change ur patterns, and u will find that 'they' are different, too.
Blame is useless. Blaming only gives away ur power. Keep ur power. Without power, we cannot make changes. The helpless victim cannot see a way out.
Soul
Mmm, I forgot about that. I still practice blame, albeit less.
Heal Ur life
Love comes when we least expect it, when u r not looking for it. Hunting for love never brings the right person. It only creates longing and unhappiness. Love is never outside ourselves, love is within us.
What kind of love u want to attract? List the qualities in yourself and u will attract a person who has them.
Be ready for love when it does comes. Prepare the field and be ready to nourish love. Be loving and u will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love.
Soul
Be loving and u be lovable. So apt for Vijii and Tamil teacher. Both of them are loving persons, and they are lovable.
Father, I admit I never consider myself loving and I think my friends will agree.
Father, I believe I am not lovable and not loving too.
My Jupiter period is Universal Love.
I am willing to open my heart and be loving to myself first.
Heal Ur Life
I live in harmony and balance with everyone I know
Deep at the center of my being, there is an infinite well of love.
I now allow this love to flow to the surface.
It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions and returns to me multiplied.
The more love I use and give, the more I have to give.
The supply is endless.
The use of love makes me feel good
It is an expression of my inner joy. I love myself, therefore I take loving care of my body. My body lovingly responds to me with vibrant health and energy.
Father, my left foot is swelling. But m fine.
This morning shambavi is ok. At least these days, I bring myself back when I wander.
On 7thunder cards, its getting more interesting. I realised that there is a connection between 5 of Heart (my Mercury) to Queen of Diamond (my Birth card). Quite complex, but I think there is a trail.
Heal Ur life
This is the only way to change others - change ourselves first. Change ur patterns, and u will find that 'they' are different, too.
Blame is useless. Blaming only gives away ur power. Keep ur power. Without power, we cannot make changes. The helpless victim cannot see a way out.
Soul
Mmm, I forgot about that. I still practice blame, albeit less.
Heal Ur life
Love comes when we least expect it, when u r not looking for it. Hunting for love never brings the right person. It only creates longing and unhappiness. Love is never outside ourselves, love is within us.
What kind of love u want to attract? List the qualities in yourself and u will attract a person who has them.
Be ready for love when it does comes. Prepare the field and be ready to nourish love. Be loving and u will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love.
Soul
Be loving and u be lovable. So apt for Vijii and Tamil teacher. Both of them are loving persons, and they are lovable.
Father, I admit I never consider myself loving and I think my friends will agree.
Father, I believe I am not lovable and not loving too.
My Jupiter period is Universal Love.
I am willing to open my heart and be loving to myself first.
Heal Ur Life
I live in harmony and balance with everyone I know
Deep at the center of my being, there is an infinite well of love.
I now allow this love to flow to the surface.
It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions and returns to me multiplied.
The more love I use and give, the more I have to give.
The supply is endless.
The use of love makes me feel good
It is an expression of my inner joy. I love myself, therefore I take loving care of my body. My body lovingly responds to me with vibrant health and energy.
Direction, path and goal, key to meeting your Destiny
Sept 12
Father, attended today sathsang. Mmm, I think m even more receptive now. I find my head shaking easily, fluidly. I felt lighter.
Just now on special vision meditation. I asked for
1. Health and Wholeness.
2. Famous published author
3. Famous transformational leader.
Father, thank U. Today reading my mercury - 5 of Heart - exploring new experiences or rship. Guess that's the reason why I am open. I want to experience all.
My wisdom gained is from my experiences.
Osho - Nanak
Self-restraint means giving direction to life, giving it vision and a goal. A life of restraint is one in which a person is well aware of his goal; he knows exactly where to let his arrow fly. An arrow that is let fly haphazardly cannot possibly hit the target. No power is attained without restrained and moderation.
Once u decide upon a goal, then u have to let go of everything that does not further ur goal. If u want to achieve one thing, u have to let go of a thousand others. U have to make a choice.
So, direction, path and goal. When these three are in complete harmony, u attain self-restraint and balance (integrated whole).
Your mind is like mercury; let it loose and it breaks immediately into a thousand pieces.
If and when u become at all awakened and look within urself, u will find one part of ur mind heading East, one to the West, one to North. One part wants to earn money, another wants to follow spiritual path, and so on.
The mind is fragmented, so never trust it.
If u do not listen to ur mind but instead heed the witness within, u will be able to remember what u have come into the world for, what u have come to buy from the market of samsara.
That remembrance will become ur goal, then u will gain the ability to throw off the fragments that besieged ur mind.
To practice self restraint involve the ability to leave the chaff for the wheat, to let go of the useless and worthless in favour of the useful and worthwhile.
There are thousands of path on which to go astray, but only one to reach the right place; therefore u need a very strong memory - uninterrupted remembrance is required.
Father, attended today sathsang. Mmm, I think m even more receptive now. I find my head shaking easily, fluidly. I felt lighter.
Just now on special vision meditation. I asked for
1. Health and Wholeness.
2. Famous published author
3. Famous transformational leader.
Father, thank U. Today reading my mercury - 5 of Heart - exploring new experiences or rship. Guess that's the reason why I am open. I want to experience all.
My wisdom gained is from my experiences.
Osho - Nanak
Self-restraint means giving direction to life, giving it vision and a goal. A life of restraint is one in which a person is well aware of his goal; he knows exactly where to let his arrow fly. An arrow that is let fly haphazardly cannot possibly hit the target. No power is attained without restrained and moderation.
Once u decide upon a goal, then u have to let go of everything that does not further ur goal. If u want to achieve one thing, u have to let go of a thousand others. U have to make a choice.
So, direction, path and goal. When these three are in complete harmony, u attain self-restraint and balance (integrated whole).
Your mind is like mercury; let it loose and it breaks immediately into a thousand pieces.
If and when u become at all awakened and look within urself, u will find one part of ur mind heading East, one to the West, one to North. One part wants to earn money, another wants to follow spiritual path, and so on.
The mind is fragmented, so never trust it.
If u do not listen to ur mind but instead heed the witness within, u will be able to remember what u have come into the world for, what u have come to buy from the market of samsara.
That remembrance will become ur goal, then u will gain the ability to throw off the fragments that besieged ur mind.
To practice self restraint involve the ability to leave the chaff for the wheat, to let go of the useless and worthless in favour of the useful and worthwhile.
There are thousands of path on which to go astray, but only one to reach the right place; therefore u need a very strong memory - uninterrupted remembrance is required.
All of life is relationships
Sept 11
Answer came.
I was feeling bit ungiving and resentful cos my Ruling is Ace of Diamond. Alone and if do something must have 'return'.
That's what I meant sharing. I give and I receive.
I want that becos basically I am happy alone.
So, its not that I am 'bad' and unable to love. I am loving.
Tot came - one day, meditation will ignite a flame and burn my personality and I become a new person.
I aspire to be like Tamil teacher's presence - universal love.
Father, my 2nd karma Card and Result Card in my Life Spread is Nine of Diamond - Universal Giver. This means the chance of success is great as I already have inherent positive card due to past live giving.
Father, Giving means I already have already received.
So, giving is receiving.
Let me absorb this further.
Heal Ur life
Reinforce new learning by-
1. Expressing gratitude - yes
2. Writing affirmations - no
3. Sitting in meditation - yes
4. Enjoying exercise - yes
5. Practising good nutrition - no
6. Singing affirmation - no
7. Taking time for relaxation - yes
8. Using visualisation, mental imagery - no
9. Reading and studying - yes
Heal Ur life
All of life is relationships. We have relationships with everything. The relationships you have with objects and foods and weather and transportation and with people all reflect the rship u have with urself.
The rship u have with urself is highly influenced by the rship u had with the adults around u as a child. The way the adults reacted toward us then, is often the way we react toward ourselves, now both positively and negatively
Perhaps they never praised u, so u have no idea how to.
(Oct 15 - Sadhguru says we cannot avoid relationships. We can only decide if we want to make it joyful or miserable. And miserable is the result if we are aiming to extract joy from the other person. If we aim only to give joy to the other person, then our relationship is joyful)
Soul
My authority always criticise me for not being good enough. Always telling me to strategise especially areas where I am weak in cos I don't have enough.
Words they used
Not beautiful (Now: I may not be beautiful but I know I am above average)
Stupid (Now: I know I am smart and can even be called an intellectual)
Cannot make it. (Now: I am head of department)
Since I don't affirm myself, I don't affirm others either. All my previous 3 boss (W, A, M and J) all sought my affirmation.
Nine of Diamond
Means that things and people they value will be taken away or at least need to be released.
Nine (ending) is the Opposite of Ace (beginning)
Nine (giving to others) is the Opposite of Ace (giving to self)
Nine must follow a higher path in order to be completely fulfilled. The higher path is often the exact opposite of what is believed and taught in our society.
Nine represents the letting go of our personal desires and identity and merging ourselves into the universal consciousness. In this regard, the Nine person often identifies themselves with a great purpose - that of saving the world in some way.
When they truly released, its Nines that are accessing the power of letting go that is inherent in the birth card (or 2nd karma card) are happy and somewhat carefree. They are giving and less attached to people and things in their life. Result is happiness and enlightenment having made transition.
They understand life as no others can because they can see well beyond their personal identity to the broad picture of the universe.
The compassion they exude is real and comes from consciously passed through many endings.
Their happiness is real because it is not based on the acquisition of any thing or person. It is based on the knowledge they are in tune with the will of God and the cosmic flow.
Nine of Diamond (Universal values - the Giver)
Entails a lot of giving to others and a willingness to release both people and materials things from their life.
Great at promoting things they believe in. Great talker and communicator.
Challenges - to develop and use their charm and power to do good work. Many of them are destined to make great contributions to the world, often by leading others to a higher form of knowledge
Answer came.
I was feeling bit ungiving and resentful cos my Ruling is Ace of Diamond. Alone and if do something must have 'return'.
That's what I meant sharing. I give and I receive.
I want that becos basically I am happy alone.
So, its not that I am 'bad' and unable to love. I am loving.
Tot came - one day, meditation will ignite a flame and burn my personality and I become a new person.
I aspire to be like Tamil teacher's presence - universal love.
Father, my 2nd karma Card and Result Card in my Life Spread is Nine of Diamond - Universal Giver. This means the chance of success is great as I already have inherent positive card due to past live giving.
Father, Giving means I already have already received.
So, giving is receiving.
Let me absorb this further.
Heal Ur life
Reinforce new learning by-
1. Expressing gratitude - yes
2. Writing affirmations - no
3. Sitting in meditation - yes
4. Enjoying exercise - yes
5. Practising good nutrition - no
6. Singing affirmation - no
7. Taking time for relaxation - yes
8. Using visualisation, mental imagery - no
9. Reading and studying - yes
Heal Ur life
All of life is relationships. We have relationships with everything. The relationships you have with objects and foods and weather and transportation and with people all reflect the rship u have with urself.
The rship u have with urself is highly influenced by the rship u had with the adults around u as a child. The way the adults reacted toward us then, is often the way we react toward ourselves, now both positively and negatively
Perhaps they never praised u, so u have no idea how to.
(Oct 15 - Sadhguru says we cannot avoid relationships. We can only decide if we want to make it joyful or miserable. And miserable is the result if we are aiming to extract joy from the other person. If we aim only to give joy to the other person, then our relationship is joyful)
Soul
My authority always criticise me for not being good enough. Always telling me to strategise especially areas where I am weak in cos I don't have enough.
Words they used
Not beautiful (Now: I may not be beautiful but I know I am above average)
Stupid (Now: I know I am smart and can even be called an intellectual)
Cannot make it. (Now: I am head of department)
Since I don't affirm myself, I don't affirm others either. All my previous 3 boss (W, A, M and J) all sought my affirmation.
Nine of Diamond
Means that things and people they value will be taken away or at least need to be released.
Nine (ending) is the Opposite of Ace (beginning)
Nine (giving to others) is the Opposite of Ace (giving to self)
Nine must follow a higher path in order to be completely fulfilled. The higher path is often the exact opposite of what is believed and taught in our society.
Nine represents the letting go of our personal desires and identity and merging ourselves into the universal consciousness. In this regard, the Nine person often identifies themselves with a great purpose - that of saving the world in some way.
When they truly released, its Nines that are accessing the power of letting go that is inherent in the birth card (or 2nd karma card) are happy and somewhat carefree. They are giving and less attached to people and things in their life. Result is happiness and enlightenment having made transition.
They understand life as no others can because they can see well beyond their personal identity to the broad picture of the universe.
The compassion they exude is real and comes from consciously passed through many endings.
Their happiness is real because it is not based on the acquisition of any thing or person. It is based on the knowledge they are in tune with the will of God and the cosmic flow.
Nine of Diamond (Universal values - the Giver)
Entails a lot of giving to others and a willingness to release both people and materials things from their life.
Great at promoting things they believe in. Great talker and communicator.
Challenges - to develop and use their charm and power to do good work. Many of them are destined to make great contributions to the world, often by leading others to a higher form of knowledge
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Queen of Diamond Life Spread (2)
Sept 10
Father, today my left shoulder is too painful that I cannot do hatha yoga. It will recover tomorro. Did my breathing (not in), followed by shakti (in - now the deep breathing is effortless), then shambavi
Good thing that I can do cat stretch. The fluterring breathe. For a few second, it was fast and effortless, only breathing thru the nose surface).
Father, some tots did come in and I admit the Tamil teacher's laughter always come in. But these day, I can ignore and proceed.
Then just a sense of total peace and towards the end a tinge of sweetness.
Father, thanks for the reduced pain.
Tot of yday meal, was out but for the first time I was fine despite having expectation. Thank U.
As for J, why now only found out that he is Six of Spades, this explain his inertia. His inability to change has nothing to do with me.
Afternoon
Father, meeting D is good. I am happy for her. Turns out 7thunder cards of 8 of Clube and her Planetary card is on the right track.
Just now I realised that I have the focus and intensity but its used elsewhere, not in my path to meet my destiny. I used it for my mind, worrying and etc.
Six of Spade - they accept their destiny.
Me, I have been resisting all these while but m slowly coming to there.
Evening
I am drawn to the Tamil teacher. He epitomise what I want for myself. His presence is loving and compassion. His is a universal love.
That's my Jupiter card - Nine of Heart - universal love card.
I guess that's what my Ace of Heart represent. Found someone who epitomised what I want for myself.
(Oct 8 - not so, just met another guy who is mor reflective of my vision partner
Father, got a text for L to photocopy her cards. My first reaction is I didn't like it. Second reaction is why I don't like to share. Answer, I am doing this for my interest. Why can't they buy the book and do it on their own. Can see bit resentment again.
Then I realised that its becos she is giving, she expect that I do the same.
C loves to share. For me, I learn for my interest and to get people keen on the topics. I am not here for people.
Father, there is still a tussle in me. I still can't do it freely.
I would wish people get on the bandwagon and explore it themselves and then there can be two way sharing.
Like my rship with D, there is a 2-way sharing. We learn from each other.
I don't like it when its one-way receiving from me. Aiyah, again d similar issue wit C. Perhaps its one-way with me but the person has one-way giving to others.
My Saturn and Cosmic Lesson
Seven
Positive (Spiritual) - detached and happy where there is abundance
Negative (Mundane) - attachment and worries about not having enough, feeling of lack.
Overcoming mundane challenges by releasing attachment and practice gratefulness in order to have spiritual enlightenment and freedom from the cares of the world.
Saturn
Seven of Club (Spiritual knowledge)
Challenge - negative aspect of the mind, which are worry, doubt and pessimism.
Tool - Insights, Inspiration, Power/Intensity
Result - Fame and recognition in Spiritual Knowledge that they secretly desire.
Overcoming pessimism and negativity
1. Relationship
2. Spiritual Work
3. Health
Soul
I keep on complaining about the challenge and hardship, I forgot to remember and be grateful for having the inherent Tools to overcome challenges and the Opportunity to achieve fame and recognition ("Special") that I secretly desire but tot I couldn't have it.
Cosmic Lesson
Seven of Spade (Faith Card)
Challenge - to learn to trust and keep their faith despite problems in work and health
Tools - inherent spiritual force.
Result - Spiritual enlightenment and the overcoming of all mundane problems.
Father, instead of complaining. Its true I was selected or perhaps I elected to come back to the world to achieve my desires and it comes with a price. And the price is an attachment that I need to let go also.
Pluto
Jack of Club
Challenge - transformation from youthfulness to responsibility.
Spoilt brat
Father, tell me why so difficult to for universal love card.
Father, today my left shoulder is too painful that I cannot do hatha yoga. It will recover tomorro. Did my breathing (not in), followed by shakti (in - now the deep breathing is effortless), then shambavi
Good thing that I can do cat stretch. The fluterring breathe. For a few second, it was fast and effortless, only breathing thru the nose surface).
Father, some tots did come in and I admit the Tamil teacher's laughter always come in. But these day, I can ignore and proceed.
Then just a sense of total peace and towards the end a tinge of sweetness.
Father, thanks for the reduced pain.
Tot of yday meal, was out but for the first time I was fine despite having expectation. Thank U.
As for J, why now only found out that he is Six of Spades, this explain his inertia. His inability to change has nothing to do with me.
Afternoon
Father, meeting D is good. I am happy for her. Turns out 7thunder cards of 8 of Clube and her Planetary card is on the right track.
Just now I realised that I have the focus and intensity but its used elsewhere, not in my path to meet my destiny. I used it for my mind, worrying and etc.
Six of Spade - they accept their destiny.
Me, I have been resisting all these while but m slowly coming to there.
Evening
I am drawn to the Tamil teacher. He epitomise what I want for myself. His presence is loving and compassion. His is a universal love.
That's my Jupiter card - Nine of Heart - universal love card.
I guess that's what my Ace of Heart represent. Found someone who epitomised what I want for myself.
(Oct 8 - not so, just met another guy who is mor reflective of my vision partner
Father, got a text for L to photocopy her cards. My first reaction is I didn't like it. Second reaction is why I don't like to share. Answer, I am doing this for my interest. Why can't they buy the book and do it on their own. Can see bit resentment again.
Then I realised that its becos she is giving, she expect that I do the same.
C loves to share. For me, I learn for my interest and to get people keen on the topics. I am not here for people.
Father, there is still a tussle in me. I still can't do it freely.
I would wish people get on the bandwagon and explore it themselves and then there can be two way sharing.
Like my rship with D, there is a 2-way sharing. We learn from each other.
I don't like it when its one-way receiving from me. Aiyah, again d similar issue wit C. Perhaps its one-way with me but the person has one-way giving to others.
My Saturn and Cosmic Lesson
Seven
Positive (Spiritual) - detached and happy where there is abundance
Negative (Mundane) - attachment and worries about not having enough, feeling of lack.
Overcoming mundane challenges by releasing attachment and practice gratefulness in order to have spiritual enlightenment and freedom from the cares of the world.
Saturn
Seven of Club (Spiritual knowledge)
Challenge - negative aspect of the mind, which are worry, doubt and pessimism.
Tool - Insights, Inspiration, Power/Intensity
Result - Fame and recognition in Spiritual Knowledge that they secretly desire.
Overcoming pessimism and negativity
1. Relationship
2. Spiritual Work
3. Health
Soul
I keep on complaining about the challenge and hardship, I forgot to remember and be grateful for having the inherent Tools to overcome challenges and the Opportunity to achieve fame and recognition ("Special") that I secretly desire but tot I couldn't have it.
Cosmic Lesson
Seven of Spade (Faith Card)
Challenge - to learn to trust and keep their faith despite problems in work and health
Tools - inherent spiritual force.
Result - Spiritual enlightenment and the overcoming of all mundane problems.
Father, instead of complaining. Its true I was selected or perhaps I elected to come back to the world to achieve my desires and it comes with a price. And the price is an attachment that I need to let go also.
Pluto
Jack of Club
Challenge - transformation from youthfulness to responsibility.
Spoilt brat
Father, tell me why so difficult to for universal love card.
Attachment to food - reduced
Sept 9 Eve
Father, just did destiny reading with J and found out we got the wrong Planetary Ruling card for him. Its Six of Spade and not Queen of Hearts.
Earlier he mention abt his belief he is here to take care of people, give way to people. I replied that's a very weak mother. I tot all Queens are strong mothers. Alas, he is not a Queen.
Also, finally know why no change after a decade. He is a Six and hence tot cannot change. No wonder.
Father, why now after more than 5 years, we found out about this.
Its funny, just when I gave up on him changing. I finally found out why he is not changing.
Anyway, at least my insight was correct. The destiny reading is for Inner path and planetary reading is for outer path, what we are experiencing.
Father, I am surprised. Today meal was quite bad. I was really looking forward to a good meal, in preparation of 16 Sept vegetarian period. Alas, meal was quite bad but surprisingly it didn't affect me.
Looks like my attachment to food has lessen considerably. Also, I didn't judge myself too much for having wrong selection. Amen.
Father, just did destiny reading with J and found out we got the wrong Planetary Ruling card for him. Its Six of Spade and not Queen of Hearts.
Earlier he mention abt his belief he is here to take care of people, give way to people. I replied that's a very weak mother. I tot all Queens are strong mothers. Alas, he is not a Queen.
Also, finally know why no change after a decade. He is a Six and hence tot cannot change. No wonder.
Father, why now after more than 5 years, we found out about this.
Its funny, just when I gave up on him changing. I finally found out why he is not changing.
Anyway, at least my insight was correct. The destiny reading is for Inner path and planetary reading is for outer path, what we are experiencing.
Father, I am surprised. Today meal was quite bad. I was really looking forward to a good meal, in preparation of 16 Sept vegetarian period. Alas, meal was quite bad but surprisingly it didn't affect me.
Looks like my attachment to food has lessen considerably. Also, I didn't judge myself too much for having wrong selection. Amen.
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