Sept 26 Aft
Father, its great. I recalled eons ago, HH and I plan to do a project together. She and I first touch on self discovery tools. Whereas C was on new age tools.
Father, something is changing in me. No response from Z on my msg and I am fine. Now I know he is an Indirect person. Besides he is so busy. And I also can see that his lack of immediate response was just the catalyst to make me work on my whole inner self, to be self-sufficient even when in relationship. That used to be my Achilles heels. Father, just a sense of calm.
I like my hair. Finally I feel like I looked like a woman now, at the ripe age of 44. No more girlish look. Amen.
And for the first time in many years, I want to wear dresses once more, especially during my meetup with Z. He brought out the woman in me.
1. The Issue
Creativity
Creativity is the quality that u bring to the activity
Whatsoever u do, if u do it joyfully, if u do it lovingly, if ur act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative.
Really the experience of creativity is an entry into the mysterious. Technique, expertise and knowledge are just tools; the key is to abandon oneself to the energy. Then it is both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.
Soul
Yea. Now I am re-directing myself back to my writing and active in Isha.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Beyond Illusion
When we focus on externals, we too often get caught up in judgements - this is good, this is bad, I want this, I don't want this. These judgements keep us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns.
The space between the two eyes has opened, revealing the lotus of spiritual unfoldment and the rising sun of awareness. Through the rising of the inner sun, meditation is born.
Soul
I have been getting this card.
I am changed. Father, I felt a sense of calm now that is similar when my eyes is closed. I feel the connection to my Self. I start to giggle silently.
3. External u r aware
The Source
Zazen means just sitting at the very source, not moving anywhere, a tremendous force arises, a transformation of energy into light and love, into greater life, into compassion, into creativity. It can take many forms.
But first u have to learn how to be at the source. Then the source will decide where ur potential is. U can relax at the source, and it will take u to ur very potential.
Pure energy, pulsating, available, it is ready to give us anything we need to accomplish something, and ready to welcome us back home when we want to rest.
So, whether u r beginning something new and need inspiration right now, or u have just finished something and want to rest, go to the Source.
Soul
I am ready to start. Connect with Source and got HH on board next year. I do need a partner for me to bounce ideas and review my work. HH is perfect as she understand my work.
4. What is needed for resolution Laziness
The journey isn't over yet, as that white bird flying into the vastness of the sky is trying to show. Ur complacency might have arisen from a real sense of achievement, but now its time to move on.
Soul
Yes, I know next year my work will be different.
On Z, I have reached a comfortable level with him. I have accepted us and now just need to seal the bond.
(Oct 2 - yea...wrong. I braced my comfort zone and told him I am ready to settle down.
5. Resolution
Suppression
His light still shines within, but he has repressed his own vitality trying to meet so many demands and expectations. He has given up all his own power and vision in return for being accepted by the very same forces that have imprisoned him
Shake up ur energy and allow it to circulate freely. Release whatever tensions and stresses inside u.
Soul
My tension and stresses is all released. My energy is activated and now need to be acted on.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Feeling good
Sept 26
Yea, like what I told C, why can't my career fit my life instead of the other way.
Father, guide me how to love Z unconditionally and remain intact. I think my fear of bonding is because I perceived was let down by my parents and then my brother. That's why I can say I don't have a bond with my parents. Their absence won't upset my life per se, except for the loving comfort. I have been mentally and emotionally self-sufficient since young. I am not bothered about others opinion of me. Like Z said I don't care. Whereas for Z, until now he still care how others see him, how his mom sees him.
Ask and It is Given
As I focus upon what I want, I feel good. If I focus upon lack of what I want, I feel bad.
Just make a decision that u will look for what u want to see.
Do not let the reality of something be our basis of attention; we would let the feeling-vibration of it be our basis.
Soul
Father, I want Z to know my family. I want him to be included in my family base. I want him to have meals with us regularly. I want us to go out for movies. I want him to go with me to Resort. I want him to be successful in his business and have ample free time for us and Isha.
I want myself to welcome him into me joyfully.
Father, I feel this new hair style makes me look like a woman. No longer
Eight of Diamonds
U r now focusing and concentrating on ur values and making choices about what is most important in our life and what is not. Through this kind of focus, money is always attracted to us.
Soul
I am a published author and my energy will go there.
Suddenly had a tot to ask HH to help me to edit. I wanted her because I wanted someone to provide input and bounced back to me.
She said she love to help me. She was excited that my 2nd book is up.
Mmm, many years ago, I had tot of her and me working together and alas it is now coming up.
Yea, like what I told C, why can't my career fit my life instead of the other way.
Father, guide me how to love Z unconditionally and remain intact. I think my fear of bonding is because I perceived was let down by my parents and then my brother. That's why I can say I don't have a bond with my parents. Their absence won't upset my life per se, except for the loving comfort. I have been mentally and emotionally self-sufficient since young. I am not bothered about others opinion of me. Like Z said I don't care. Whereas for Z, until now he still care how others see him, how his mom sees him.
Ask and It is Given
As I focus upon what I want, I feel good. If I focus upon lack of what I want, I feel bad.
Just make a decision that u will look for what u want to see.
Do not let the reality of something be our basis of attention; we would let the feeling-vibration of it be our basis.
Soul
Father, I want Z to know my family. I want him to be included in my family base. I want him to have meals with us regularly. I want us to go out for movies. I want him to go with me to Resort. I want him to be successful in his business and have ample free time for us and Isha.
I want myself to welcome him into me joyfully.
Father, I feel this new hair style makes me look like a woman. No longer
Eight of Diamonds
U r now focusing and concentrating on ur values and making choices about what is most important in our life and what is not. Through this kind of focus, money is always attracted to us.
Soul
I am a published author and my energy will go there.
Suddenly had a tot to ask HH to help me to edit. I wanted her because I wanted someone to provide input and bounced back to me.
She said she love to help me. She was excited that my 2nd book is up.
Mmm, many years ago, I had tot of her and me working together and alas it is now coming up.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Cosmic Lesson with Z - unconditional love
Sept 25 Eve
Father, I spent 3.5 hours in volunteer meet and followed by lunch with them. It was a good one and I don't feel drained.
I am so happy to learn of other experiences. I am glad C and P is here with us.
Soul's South Node to Z's Moon
It doesn't occur to Z to verbalise what it is they need from u. And u r not tuned in to what Z needs from u unless he tells u.
U can overcome by making a conscious effort to ask Z what it is he need from u in order to feel supported and cared about.
Eventhough this may feel awkward at first, validating their emotional needs in this way will greatly be to ur advantage. When Z feels deeply understood and happy, their loving energy comes back to u in ways that more than make up for ur extra effort.
As ur awareness grows, u may also notice that - on a deep level - ur first instinct is to pull away from Z's need for closeness. This is to avoid the pit-fall of co-dependency in this lifetime by remaining separate and whole while consciously choosing to validate ur partner's feeling because of the love u feel for then.
The healthiest resolution is for u to continue to ask Z what he need from u while lovingly encouraging him to verbalise his needs on an ongoing basis. He will feel grateful that u asked and it will make them happy. The more he feel cared about in the relationship the easier it will be for him to take the important step of asking for what he need.
It is also important for u to remember to ask for what u need from him as well.
Past life
In this lifetime, it is ur job to consciously help him to restore his emotional self-sufficiency without injuring his heart - to let him know he is loved and supported for who he really is without enslaving him.
(Nov 16 - this sound like unconditional love)
Soul
I was just talking to him that he always asked me what I like, whereas I don't. I just do what I like. Now I know why he brings me the lesson of Soul Mate rship. I have to teach what I got to learn as he also doesn't know how to be in one.
He also always try to guess how I feel and try to adjust. He will bring me to brink and let go. He enjoys cornering me.
Z"s Moon
The Moon reveals where we have the deepest need to feel understood, nurtured and cared about by another. This is the area where we feel most vulnerable and experience ourselves as lacking completion. Thus we need support and encouragement from another Soul in order to gain a deep sense of satisfaction. The Moon also shows our receptive nature - where we most want to experience the feeling of "family" and to be able to depend on another to care about us.
But when a partner falls on ur Moon, it can bring disappointment and feelings of being unloved and unsupported. This person may not be tuned in to ur emotional needs and it can seems like they never gives u what u r really longing for. This is due to her unconscious memories of many family-based past lives in which there were unhealthy co-dependent relationship between u. As a result, everytime u expect this person to fulfill ur needs, they unconsciously pull away in order to prevent a co-dependency from recurring.
Soul
A few instances
1. Him asking for a permanent place for our meetup
2. Him asking to come to my place at night
3. Him asking me to extend another night.
4. Him asking me to help him to bond with me.
I am not sure, but I instinctively pull away.
Z"s Moon
Clearly u have a past history of great love for each other that continues into this lifetime, but because of the co-dependency it hasn't been expressed in a healthy way. This incarnation brings the necessary lessons that can teach u to differentiate between co-dependent and taking responsible action to ensure that ur needs are met. Now u have the opportunity to learn to verbalise ur needs so that the co-dependency dynamics isn't triggered.
Soul
Yea. That's make sense. I will encourage him for my good and our well being.
Composite North Node
Pisces, 11th house
Pisces
This relationship can help u both learn how to "let go and let God".
Creating a pathway that is in alignment with events as they are unfolding can help both of u to become less judgemental, more flexible, and help u surrender to the flow of unconditional love
Aim for:
Understanding and forgiveness; trusting that a Higher Power is in charge; experiencing joy and bliss; letting other people be themselves; accepting that which u cannot change.
11th house
The key to maximising the potential in this partnership is to recognise and remain aware that it offers the special opportunity to experience the joys and benefits of a relationship with someone who can also be ur best friend.
U create plenty of energy to work together toward humanitarian goals. The shared dream of benefiting others energises u both.
If a conflict should arise, the best approach would be; Treat the other person as equal and ask for their input as a friend. Brainstorm with them in order to see the situation more objectively. Be interested in what is best for them, and encourage them in realising their own life dreams.
Soul
Isha connects us.
Today is quite unique. Z calls me to update on the happening. He shared detailed financials, his hobby and the blog.
A real opening.
He asked about another couple and I said recently he keep on speculating potential couples. So, who is the next one he tot of. He replied that its us.
Father, when he send me the link for their blog. I immediately feel myself pulling away from him. Why I do that? I wanted him. And it is great he is sharing with me.
Z's Moon
As ur awareness grows, u may also notice that - on a deep level - ur first instinct is to pull away from Z's need for closeness.
This is to avoid the pit-fall of co-dependency in this lifetime by remaining separate and whole while consciously choosing to validate ur partner's feeling because of the love u feel for then.
Soul
Mmm, I recalled that after few rounds of love making with him, I felt a need to be alone. I want to recover myself again. That's why when he asked for extension, I was not keen.
Father, how do I strike a balance. I do want him but I want in regular small dose that allows me room to be myself. But for him, he want me in irregular long dose, which drains me a bit.
But if I keep on saying no, his style is just to close up and never ask again.
How can I keep us together. How can I not let my fear prevent us from being together. He open, and its all the way without closing. Me, open a bit and close and then open a bit.
He also shared about me shutting down on him. Me, not caring if I hurt him.
(Nov 16 - he said that it was 'bad' that I have hung up on him a few times.)
Mmm, an idea came. Perhaps I can ask for more regular meet with shorter doses.
Father, I spent 3.5 hours in volunteer meet and followed by lunch with them. It was a good one and I don't feel drained.
I am so happy to learn of other experiences. I am glad C and P is here with us.
Soul's South Node to Z's Moon
It doesn't occur to Z to verbalise what it is they need from u. And u r not tuned in to what Z needs from u unless he tells u.
U can overcome by making a conscious effort to ask Z what it is he need from u in order to feel supported and cared about.
Eventhough this may feel awkward at first, validating their emotional needs in this way will greatly be to ur advantage. When Z feels deeply understood and happy, their loving energy comes back to u in ways that more than make up for ur extra effort.
As ur awareness grows, u may also notice that - on a deep level - ur first instinct is to pull away from Z's need for closeness. This is to avoid the pit-fall of co-dependency in this lifetime by remaining separate and whole while consciously choosing to validate ur partner's feeling because of the love u feel for then.
The healthiest resolution is for u to continue to ask Z what he need from u while lovingly encouraging him to verbalise his needs on an ongoing basis. He will feel grateful that u asked and it will make them happy. The more he feel cared about in the relationship the easier it will be for him to take the important step of asking for what he need.
It is also important for u to remember to ask for what u need from him as well.
Past life
In this lifetime, it is ur job to consciously help him to restore his emotional self-sufficiency without injuring his heart - to let him know he is loved and supported for who he really is without enslaving him.
(Nov 16 - this sound like unconditional love)
Soul
I was just talking to him that he always asked me what I like, whereas I don't. I just do what I like. Now I know why he brings me the lesson of Soul Mate rship. I have to teach what I got to learn as he also doesn't know how to be in one.
He also always try to guess how I feel and try to adjust. He will bring me to brink and let go. He enjoys cornering me.
Z"s Moon
The Moon reveals where we have the deepest need to feel understood, nurtured and cared about by another. This is the area where we feel most vulnerable and experience ourselves as lacking completion. Thus we need support and encouragement from another Soul in order to gain a deep sense of satisfaction. The Moon also shows our receptive nature - where we most want to experience the feeling of "family" and to be able to depend on another to care about us.
But when a partner falls on ur Moon, it can bring disappointment and feelings of being unloved and unsupported. This person may not be tuned in to ur emotional needs and it can seems like they never gives u what u r really longing for. This is due to her unconscious memories of many family-based past lives in which there were unhealthy co-dependent relationship between u. As a result, everytime u expect this person to fulfill ur needs, they unconsciously pull away in order to prevent a co-dependency from recurring.
Soul
A few instances
1. Him asking for a permanent place for our meetup
2. Him asking to come to my place at night
3. Him asking me to extend another night.
4. Him asking me to help him to bond with me.
I am not sure, but I instinctively pull away.
Z"s Moon
Clearly u have a past history of great love for each other that continues into this lifetime, but because of the co-dependency it hasn't been expressed in a healthy way. This incarnation brings the necessary lessons that can teach u to differentiate between co-dependent and taking responsible action to ensure that ur needs are met. Now u have the opportunity to learn to verbalise ur needs so that the co-dependency dynamics isn't triggered.
Soul
Yea. That's make sense. I will encourage him for my good and our well being.
Composite North Node
Pisces, 11th house
Pisces
This relationship can help u both learn how to "let go and let God".
Creating a pathway that is in alignment with events as they are unfolding can help both of u to become less judgemental, more flexible, and help u surrender to the flow of unconditional love
Aim for:
Understanding and forgiveness; trusting that a Higher Power is in charge; experiencing joy and bliss; letting other people be themselves; accepting that which u cannot change.
11th house
The key to maximising the potential in this partnership is to recognise and remain aware that it offers the special opportunity to experience the joys and benefits of a relationship with someone who can also be ur best friend.
U create plenty of energy to work together toward humanitarian goals. The shared dream of benefiting others energises u both.
If a conflict should arise, the best approach would be; Treat the other person as equal and ask for their input as a friend. Brainstorm with them in order to see the situation more objectively. Be interested in what is best for them, and encourage them in realising their own life dreams.
Soul
Isha connects us.
Today is quite unique. Z calls me to update on the happening. He shared detailed financials, his hobby and the blog.
A real opening.
He asked about another couple and I said recently he keep on speculating potential couples. So, who is the next one he tot of. He replied that its us.
Father, when he send me the link for their blog. I immediately feel myself pulling away from him. Why I do that? I wanted him. And it is great he is sharing with me.
Z's Moon
As ur awareness grows, u may also notice that - on a deep level - ur first instinct is to pull away from Z's need for closeness.
This is to avoid the pit-fall of co-dependency in this lifetime by remaining separate and whole while consciously choosing to validate ur partner's feeling because of the love u feel for then.
Soul
Mmm, I recalled that after few rounds of love making with him, I felt a need to be alone. I want to recover myself again. That's why when he asked for extension, I was not keen.
Father, how do I strike a balance. I do want him but I want in regular small dose that allows me room to be myself. But for him, he want me in irregular long dose, which drains me a bit.
But if I keep on saying no, his style is just to close up and never ask again.
How can I keep us together. How can I not let my fear prevent us from being together. He open, and its all the way without closing. Me, open a bit and close and then open a bit.
He also shared about me shutting down on him. Me, not caring if I hurt him.
(Nov 16 - he said that it was 'bad' that I have hung up on him a few times.)
Mmm, an idea came. Perhaps I can ask for more regular meet with shorter doses.
I am not running away
Sept 24
Father, leaving him is so easy. Alas, now I know why I am his life coach to teach him about self awareness. And I know why he is my life coach about soul mate. He has taught me things not to do.
Father, he doesn't respond to my initiation and would go into hiding in frenzied activities. And I don't have the right to ask for response as he already made our rship clear.
All my insight was correct. We r both wounded human who put on amours, our defense mechanism are different.
I think the only way out is for me to just be his life coach. Remove the illusion that we could ever be together. Then I can stay objective to heal him for himself and his future partner.
I am not sure ... could I be unnecessarily involved in other people business.
Just finished my practice and msg
1. I am not running
2. I love him
3. He is my business.
Evening
I msg him in the morning but no reply till now. Of course, m feeling bit peeved and drama is being created.
I tot of calling him up to ask if he wants to end it, he should tell me. But then I tot of Sl, always "angry" whenever couldn't get the love she wants.
So, I am taking a step back.
Father, I spend my family a lovely expensive lunch. It was a good gathering.
Sept 24 Eve
Father, what a surprising evening. When I didn't receive a response on my msg, I had some negative tots. The old me would have wallow in it.
For a moment, the old me said what if I called and he didn't respond, that will make me feel worse. The new me just decide to call him and I did.
He was sleeping and I woke him up. He called me back. We had a good chat and he finally told me what is bothering him. He asked for my input and help. A first time for him. When he was sharing his ordeal, suddenly I was moved to tears and I said silently that I love him a few times. I want to send my love energy to him. I want him to know he is not alone.
Father, leaving him is so easy. Alas, now I know why I am his life coach to teach him about self awareness. And I know why he is my life coach about soul mate. He has taught me things not to do.
Father, he doesn't respond to my initiation and would go into hiding in frenzied activities. And I don't have the right to ask for response as he already made our rship clear.
All my insight was correct. We r both wounded human who put on amours, our defense mechanism are different.
I think the only way out is for me to just be his life coach. Remove the illusion that we could ever be together. Then I can stay objective to heal him for himself and his future partner.
I am not sure ... could I be unnecessarily involved in other people business.
Just finished my practice and msg
1. I am not running
2. I love him
3. He is my business.
Evening
I msg him in the morning but no reply till now. Of course, m feeling bit peeved and drama is being created.
I tot of calling him up to ask if he wants to end it, he should tell me. But then I tot of Sl, always "angry" whenever couldn't get the love she wants.
So, I am taking a step back.
Father, I spend my family a lovely expensive lunch. It was a good gathering.
Sept 24 Eve
Father, what a surprising evening. When I didn't receive a response on my msg, I had some negative tots. The old me would have wallow in it.
For a moment, the old me said what if I called and he didn't respond, that will make me feel worse. The new me just decide to call him and I did.
He was sleeping and I woke him up. He called me back. We had a good chat and he finally told me what is bothering him. He asked for my input and help. A first time for him. When he was sharing his ordeal, suddenly I was moved to tears and I said silently that I love him a few times. I want to send my love energy to him. I want him to know he is not alone.
Z - South Node in Leo
Sept 23
On not taking the job offer, yeap, my stand is still the same and I am feeling settled. Have some laugh during morning practice.
Father, thank U. This morning, I tot of Z. It takes 2 hands to clap and his doesn't clap. I am the Sun and if I don't act, we won't be together. I am not running yet but he is not coming, so cannot clap.
Now reading Cosmic Love.
Z's South Node in Leo
Leo Node people allow themselves to be constantly distracted by a myriad of outer activities: overwork; the television or music going all the time; hobbies that consume them; etc. It is almost as if they are running away from something. This distraction blocks intimacy because there's always somewhere else they have to be or something else they have to do. So the other person cannot be intimate because they're constantly being postponed.
Soul
Now I know why he is teaching me about Soul Mate relationship. He is teaching me all the things not to do. So alas, I was right not to take his lack of prioritisation of me as a reflection of my lovability. It is him that didn't want or cannot prioritise. So, I was right in not taking it personal.
South Node in Leo
The relationship goes to a superficial level because the native isn't really available or willing to create any real depth.
If he doesn't wakes up to what they are doing and chooses a different approach, the danger is that they can end up with no intimate attachments or sense of emotional satisfaction in their life.
Over time, the native"s life becomes superficial and doesn't bring them emotional satisfaction. The vitality that can be created by being fully present with another person isn't formed and the energy that originates when two people give their full attention to sharing core concerns and coming up with creative solutions isn't developed. As a result, the passion and power often leave their relationship.
Soul
Father, U always comes timely. I just had the tot that it takes two to clap and Z is not clapping, so how can we grow. I have initiated and clapped but he didn't respond or clap with me. Infact, when he realised he could be attach to me, he has stopped initiating any call to me since then.
Father, I think I may be ready to leave the rship. And this time is because I truly know I am worth it and I know its no point seeking love from someone that cannot give me love. He cannot even play, so we cannot develop into a real relationship.
I restarted with him because I tot there was no one around and I want to be wanted.
This time is not like the first time where I broke off out of breaking down because of my suppressed sadness and I didn't want to be rejected. This time is because I know I am lovable and I need hold on to someone who is not available. Father, I am glad. For the first time, I leave knowing I am lovable.
Mmm, another tot came. This Nodes actually affirm what the card said about his Dream is Eight of Heart - emotional power and his lifetime challenge is Six of Spades - destiny/purpose in life. Both this tools affirms each other. Father, thanks for showing me the link.
Mmm, I wonder whether this what this week Osho is about.
1. Issue - Healing
Nobody is interested in hurting u, nobody is positively waiting to hurt u; everybody is engaged in safeguarding his own wound.
In this attitude of openness and acceptance, we can be healed and help others also to be healthy and whole.
Soul - Father, I am healed. I am experiencing my worth.
2. Internal influence
Beyond illusion
Drop ur opinionated mind and move inside. There u can relax into ur deepest truth, where the difference between dreams and reality is already known.
Soul
I am lovable. I thank him for teaching me.
3. External influence
Comparisons
The way to find out who u r is not by comparing urself with others, but by looking to see whether u r fulfilling ur own potential in the best way u know how.
Soul
Yea, he was great for my learning. Now I know why I thanked him in my prayer.
4. What is needed for resolution
Success
Enjoy the peak while it lasts and then enjoy the valley when it comes. It is a relaxation. A peak is an excitement and nobody can exist continuously in an excitement.
If u keep this in mind, squeeze every drop of juice out of the happiness u r experiencing now, u will be able to take the future as it comes without regrets. But don't be tempted to try to hold it.
All phenomena in the parade of life, whether they be valleys or peaks, is that " this too will pass"
Soul
Yea. Sl said she cannot stand being alone. This whole week I stand being alone. I decided to try it and I am surprised I was fine.
5. Resolution
Aloneness
When there is no "significant other" in our lives, we can either be lonely or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings.
Be a light unto urself.
Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions, maps or guide.
Soul
I am learning.
South Node in Leo
This negation of the emotional connection - with their own feelings and with their mate - often leads to other serious problems in their primary relationship.
(Nov 16 - I just send his SN in Leo to him. At first I hesitate as I tot I am asking him to change for me. But then I recalled that I am his life coach and it is for me to highlight. I have gained loads from him, hope he can recover some from me too.)
On not taking the job offer, yeap, my stand is still the same and I am feeling settled. Have some laugh during morning practice.
Father, thank U. This morning, I tot of Z. It takes 2 hands to clap and his doesn't clap. I am the Sun and if I don't act, we won't be together. I am not running yet but he is not coming, so cannot clap.
Now reading Cosmic Love.
Z's South Node in Leo
Leo Node people allow themselves to be constantly distracted by a myriad of outer activities: overwork; the television or music going all the time; hobbies that consume them; etc. It is almost as if they are running away from something. This distraction blocks intimacy because there's always somewhere else they have to be or something else they have to do. So the other person cannot be intimate because they're constantly being postponed.
Soul
Now I know why he is teaching me about Soul Mate relationship. He is teaching me all the things not to do. So alas, I was right not to take his lack of prioritisation of me as a reflection of my lovability. It is him that didn't want or cannot prioritise. So, I was right in not taking it personal.
South Node in Leo
The relationship goes to a superficial level because the native isn't really available or willing to create any real depth.
If he doesn't wakes up to what they are doing and chooses a different approach, the danger is that they can end up with no intimate attachments or sense of emotional satisfaction in their life.
Over time, the native"s life becomes superficial and doesn't bring them emotional satisfaction. The vitality that can be created by being fully present with another person isn't formed and the energy that originates when two people give their full attention to sharing core concerns and coming up with creative solutions isn't developed. As a result, the passion and power often leave their relationship.
Soul
Father, U always comes timely. I just had the tot that it takes two to clap and Z is not clapping, so how can we grow. I have initiated and clapped but he didn't respond or clap with me. Infact, when he realised he could be attach to me, he has stopped initiating any call to me since then.
Father, I think I may be ready to leave the rship. And this time is because I truly know I am worth it and I know its no point seeking love from someone that cannot give me love. He cannot even play, so we cannot develop into a real relationship.
I restarted with him because I tot there was no one around and I want to be wanted.
This time is not like the first time where I broke off out of breaking down because of my suppressed sadness and I didn't want to be rejected. This time is because I know I am lovable and I need hold on to someone who is not available. Father, I am glad. For the first time, I leave knowing I am lovable.
Mmm, another tot came. This Nodes actually affirm what the card said about his Dream is Eight of Heart - emotional power and his lifetime challenge is Six of Spades - destiny/purpose in life. Both this tools affirms each other. Father, thanks for showing me the link.
Mmm, I wonder whether this what this week Osho is about.
1. Issue - Healing
Nobody is interested in hurting u, nobody is positively waiting to hurt u; everybody is engaged in safeguarding his own wound.
In this attitude of openness and acceptance, we can be healed and help others also to be healthy and whole.
Soul - Father, I am healed. I am experiencing my worth.
2. Internal influence
Beyond illusion
Drop ur opinionated mind and move inside. There u can relax into ur deepest truth, where the difference between dreams and reality is already known.
Soul
I am lovable. I thank him for teaching me.
3. External influence
Comparisons
The way to find out who u r is not by comparing urself with others, but by looking to see whether u r fulfilling ur own potential in the best way u know how.
Soul
Yea, he was great for my learning. Now I know why I thanked him in my prayer.
4. What is needed for resolution
Success
Enjoy the peak while it lasts and then enjoy the valley when it comes. It is a relaxation. A peak is an excitement and nobody can exist continuously in an excitement.
If u keep this in mind, squeeze every drop of juice out of the happiness u r experiencing now, u will be able to take the future as it comes without regrets. But don't be tempted to try to hold it.
All phenomena in the parade of life, whether they be valleys or peaks, is that " this too will pass"
Soul
Yea. Sl said she cannot stand being alone. This whole week I stand being alone. I decided to try it and I am surprised I was fine.
5. Resolution
Aloneness
When there is no "significant other" in our lives, we can either be lonely or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings.
Be a light unto urself.
Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions, maps or guide.
Soul
I am learning.
South Node in Leo
This negation of the emotional connection - with their own feelings and with their mate - often leads to other serious problems in their primary relationship.
(Nov 16 - I just send his SN in Leo to him. At first I hesitate as I tot I am asking him to change for me. But then I recalled that I am his life coach and it is for me to highlight. I have gained loads from him, hope he can recover some from me too.)
Nine of Diamond - death of current work
Sept 22
Father, tell me what to do. Yea, that's the excitement of new job, of growth. But a tot came, Sadhguru said life is not about earning income. Also, my Top 5 doesn't have job. And what I want most is my rship with my partner. I also recalled Vision Book said retire by 45.
E said he doesn't care about time line, he only cares about result. Of course, we can say u have off time but that also can mean u cannot have off time.
I have already "retired", but earning income. That's the best deal.
I recalled that I wanted to close door so I have an easy life. So, why go back. I need not have to prove myself. True, my peers are not business minded, that's why they need me.
I want to be transformational leader, not a problem solver.
Tots came through disturbing. But once I made the decision not to take the offer, a calm settled over me. I knew its the right thing. Also thank to RA that makes me realise I don't have time to waste. Even if I take this job, it would be max 5 years of earning money for retirement and I would delayed my dreams.
I am transformed. I am not taking the best job offer in my life. The job has a great boss, growth and opportunity, travel in AP, great office, great income.
But I have changed. Career is no longer in my Top 5.
to be a famous published author, spend time on learning and sharing tools,
promoting Isha, spend time with family, have a good relationship with my partner.
I told K that I haven't seen the change. Well, alas I have, my value as Ace of Diamond and Queen of Diamond has changed. I have retired from my career life.
The high flying job offer has to be so good that I cannot refuse. But alas I refused because it is not in my Top 5.
Seeing boss also helps. She doesn't like her career but she continues because it gives her validation and security.
I no longer seek my validation in career, I no longer need to be in a career
I am ready to settle down.
My motto
Work towards something that makes u happy.
Do not hold on things that doesn't make u happy.
Nodes in Scorpio
Soul Mates
A soul mate rship is really a combining - on an energetic level - with someone with whom they have the right "chemistry"; who gives them a sense of excitement. As they empower their partner, the partner responds by validating and taking care of them. The mutual energy revitalises those parts that become stagnant during past incarnation.
Soul mate rships are not limited to sexual rships. If two people share a common goal - such as writing a book, running a restaurant, starting a business and etc.
Each person has to be willing to let go of personal issues to allow both partners' energies to integrate. These folks need to be willing to understand the other person, what he or she is offering, and what his or her resources are in order to combine and achieve maximum mutual gain. That is where they shine!
They cannot focus on "my values vs your values" cos they will lose. If they are clear about the higher goal they want to experience with the other person, and that's agreed on, then these folks are willing to adjust their methodology to work with the other person and gain the experience.
This could be as basic as deciding the kind of rship they want to create and then supporting each other in reaching the ideal.
When couples are younger, they may have the goal of raising children. Later, it might be the goal of living together according to certain spiritual ideals, growing together through self-help or transformational experiences, supporting each other in reaching shared health goals, and so on.
The best approach to creating personal relationship is to get to know the other person and see if that person's values, desires and motives are compatible. Having shared values is important.
For sexual experience, if they tune in to the physical energies of their partner, then when they combine sexually, the experience far exceeds anything they could imagine.
They need to stop relating from a "me/you" position and start relating from a position of "what's best for us". Then they can share power of mutual empowerment and reciprocity.
Father, I read thru Nodes in Scorpio and not able to identify myself. (NOv 16 - can now see me in SN)
But this healing song strikes me, especially today, it relates to my motto that I created this morning after my practice
What's the point in hanging on?
Your dream is true, but no on the form
What brings u joy in life today
May come true a different way!
Reach ur arms up to the sky
Greet the new that's in ur life today
Life sent it just to u,
"Cause you're ready for something new"
But you've got to let go of what's already gone
You've got to let go, its time to move on.
Soul
Amen.
52 days in Destiny
Ace of Spades
Is a card of death, change and transformation. With this mystical card in ur spread, it is certain that u will go through some sort of death and rebirth, or at the least, some important and powerful changes.
New beginning - we r preparing to launch a new occupation.
Father, tell me what to do. Yea, that's the excitement of new job, of growth. But a tot came, Sadhguru said life is not about earning income. Also, my Top 5 doesn't have job. And what I want most is my rship with my partner. I also recalled Vision Book said retire by 45.
E said he doesn't care about time line, he only cares about result. Of course, we can say u have off time but that also can mean u cannot have off time.
I have already "retired", but earning income. That's the best deal.
I recalled that I wanted to close door so I have an easy life. So, why go back. I need not have to prove myself. True, my peers are not business minded, that's why they need me.
I want to be transformational leader, not a problem solver.
Tots came through disturbing. But once I made the decision not to take the offer, a calm settled over me. I knew its the right thing. Also thank to RA that makes me realise I don't have time to waste. Even if I take this job, it would be max 5 years of earning money for retirement and I would delayed my dreams.
I am transformed. I am not taking the best job offer in my life. The job has a great boss, growth and opportunity, travel in AP, great office, great income.
But I have changed. Career is no longer in my Top 5.
to be a famous published author, spend time on learning and sharing tools,
promoting Isha, spend time with family, have a good relationship with my partner.
I told K that I haven't seen the change. Well, alas I have, my value as Ace of Diamond and Queen of Diamond has changed. I have retired from my career life.
The high flying job offer has to be so good that I cannot refuse. But alas I refused because it is not in my Top 5.
Seeing boss also helps. She doesn't like her career but she continues because it gives her validation and security.
I no longer seek my validation in career, I no longer need to be in a career
I am ready to settle down.
My motto
Work towards something that makes u happy.
Do not hold on things that doesn't make u happy.
Nodes in Scorpio
Soul Mates
A soul mate rship is really a combining - on an energetic level - with someone with whom they have the right "chemistry"; who gives them a sense of excitement. As they empower their partner, the partner responds by validating and taking care of them. The mutual energy revitalises those parts that become stagnant during past incarnation.
Soul mate rships are not limited to sexual rships. If two people share a common goal - such as writing a book, running a restaurant, starting a business and etc.
Each person has to be willing to let go of personal issues to allow both partners' energies to integrate. These folks need to be willing to understand the other person, what he or she is offering, and what his or her resources are in order to combine and achieve maximum mutual gain. That is where they shine!
They cannot focus on "my values vs your values" cos they will lose. If they are clear about the higher goal they want to experience with the other person, and that's agreed on, then these folks are willing to adjust their methodology to work with the other person and gain the experience.
This could be as basic as deciding the kind of rship they want to create and then supporting each other in reaching the ideal.
When couples are younger, they may have the goal of raising children. Later, it might be the goal of living together according to certain spiritual ideals, growing together through self-help or transformational experiences, supporting each other in reaching shared health goals, and so on.
The best approach to creating personal relationship is to get to know the other person and see if that person's values, desires and motives are compatible. Having shared values is important.
For sexual experience, if they tune in to the physical energies of their partner, then when they combine sexually, the experience far exceeds anything they could imagine.
They need to stop relating from a "me/you" position and start relating from a position of "what's best for us". Then they can share power of mutual empowerment and reciprocity.
Father, I read thru Nodes in Scorpio and not able to identify myself. (NOv 16 - can now see me in SN)
But this healing song strikes me, especially today, it relates to my motto that I created this morning after my practice
What's the point in hanging on?
Your dream is true, but no on the form
What brings u joy in life today
May come true a different way!
Reach ur arms up to the sky
Greet the new that's in ur life today
Life sent it just to u,
"Cause you're ready for something new"
But you've got to let go of what's already gone
You've got to let go, its time to move on.
Soul
Amen.
52 days in Destiny
Ace of Spades
Is a card of death, change and transformation. With this mystical card in ur spread, it is certain that u will go through some sort of death and rebirth, or at the least, some important and powerful changes.
New beginning - we r preparing to launch a new occupation.
Exploring options on work
Sept 21 Eve
Father, earlier I said Z will come back to me. I have no faith on him but I have faith that I will be more than fine, no matter the outcome of the rship.
He send his facebook link to me. My first tot was to tell him I am not active and won't accept. Then I recalled that is his small way of reaching out to me. If I don't respond, he will clamp up. I send him the msg on Sunday afternoon which he didn't respond and I called also no response. But I didn't contact him since Sunday and today is Wed afternoon. Looks like I was in his mind.
Father, such irony. Just now when E offered me the job as FD for Asia Pacific, I tot of him. But I said we be fine, what's meant to be will be.
Just got back from volunteer meeting. The energy was great. I did shoonya and laugh non-stop. Later during meeting, energy was flowing and I was moving. When the meeting ended, I had to quickly do plough back to stabilise myself.
Tot of the job offer from E. It sounds interesting and I like the vibes, a growing industry. There has always been a small part of me that wanted Asia Pacific regional role. But alas, I have given up on it cos I tot I couldn't have it. Later, when Ss asked if I am keen, I said nope cos regional hours seems long.
Anyway, my concern is losing out the current comfort of 4 days week and the flexi hours. So, I am still not sure of my decision especially now I knew of my attraction to crisis situation.
But reading this excerpt from Louise Hay
I love myself; therefore I work at a job that I truly enjoy doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities, working with and for people that I love and that love me, and earning a good income.
Soul
Apart from 4 days week, there is nothing for me.
(Nov 16 - I am still looking.)
Father, earlier I said Z will come back to me. I have no faith on him but I have faith that I will be more than fine, no matter the outcome of the rship.
He send his facebook link to me. My first tot was to tell him I am not active and won't accept. Then I recalled that is his small way of reaching out to me. If I don't respond, he will clamp up. I send him the msg on Sunday afternoon which he didn't respond and I called also no response. But I didn't contact him since Sunday and today is Wed afternoon. Looks like I was in his mind.
Father, such irony. Just now when E offered me the job as FD for Asia Pacific, I tot of him. But I said we be fine, what's meant to be will be.
Just got back from volunteer meeting. The energy was great. I did shoonya and laugh non-stop. Later during meeting, energy was flowing and I was moving. When the meeting ended, I had to quickly do plough back to stabilise myself.
Tot of the job offer from E. It sounds interesting and I like the vibes, a growing industry. There has always been a small part of me that wanted Asia Pacific regional role. But alas, I have given up on it cos I tot I couldn't have it. Later, when Ss asked if I am keen, I said nope cos regional hours seems long.
Anyway, my concern is losing out the current comfort of 4 days week and the flexi hours. So, I am still not sure of my decision especially now I knew of my attraction to crisis situation.
But reading this excerpt from Louise Hay
I love myself; therefore I work at a job that I truly enjoy doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities, working with and for people that I love and that love me, and earning a good income.
Soul
Apart from 4 days week, there is nothing for me.
(Nov 16 - I am still looking.)
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