Feb 7 Eve
Father, I had a lovely time with my family, under Top 5.
On Z, I now feel that there is no urgency. I wrote the article on me today and somehow felt a certain closure.
Like what An says, I am still new to the market and requires some window shopping before I decide. And in this case, decision is not ask, so just pursue.
Yesterday my feet was in much pain and today has recovered loads. I will be able to do hatha yoga tomorrow.
Sadhguru - Himalayan Lust
The most auspicious thing that can happen to u is to realise yourself, is to reach the highest within urself. We think, unfortunately, that getting married is auspicious; getting a promotion is auspicious... The most auspicious thing that can happen to u in ur life is that u reach the peak within urself. Everything that is worth knowing in existence u know the moment u know urself.
Knowing means opening a new vision or insight into life. So, true knowing means ur third eyes has to open up. Any amount of thinking, of philosophising will not bring clarity into ur mind. Only when ur inner vision opens up, there's perfect clarity.
No situation or nobody in the world can distort this clarity within.
Yoga focuses on the inner situation. If u can create a perfect inward situation, no matter what the external situation, u can be in perfect bliss and peace.
Soul
When my mind was judging me on my loss of self control and me being unlovable when Z didn't respond, I could not listen to it cos my truth is joy. Amen.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Queen of Diamond Life Spread (4)
Feb 7
Father, it takes two to tango. Z didn't call me. I have opened up. If he wanted to, he would have. I have to admit, he is not into me.
And now I am fine, I no longer take it personally. I can love again and that's what the price. He doesn't know what he wants, he just want to be married. And I won't do the chasing.
Father, I finished my practices. Z was in my mind throughout it and such a roller coaster. My mind is on compulsion mode. Despite that I found I was able to switch off towards the end I was giggling and humming. It was all in my mind.
Afternoon
Met M, an irritating ex-colleague who has turned into a close friend. He always comes to me for input whenever he makes a major decision. I always tot he was a Seven of Clubs but turns out he was a Seven of Spade and his Ruling was Four of Diamonds. He is my cosmic lesson card (Seven of Spade) and there has always been a closeness between us. I am his Pluto and Saturn for his Four of Diamonds. No wonder he always turns to me for input.
Father, why now? All these years of thinking he is Seven of Clubs! Why now he is a Seven of Spade, same as Z. What's the message here for me and Z?
1st we will not be together as partner, we r just friends. But perhaps its because that's because of his Four of Diamond Ruling.
2nd tot we will be good friends and its a plus point for our relationship.
3rd tot, I needed another motivation, Faith card to follow my Destiny. MF has many setbacks but he never lose track of his dream.
I told him that takes courage. I shared with him my dream to be a writer but I lacked the faith and from now on I will stay positive and be courageous to follow my dream. Like MF says, there is nothing to lose.
I was browsing my thing and saw 'Faith' in my Transformation Game Card.
Soul
Yes, like what Sadhguru says life continue. My life doesn't revolve around Z. Let me not hold back my life for someone that is not that into me. If he comes, he comes and I will be open. But meanwhile focus on my career as a writer. He is not ready for rship and definitely not ready for me.
I can let go of Z as I don't need him to justify myself, to love myself, to be joyful. With or without him, my self-worth is intact, my joy is intact. His presence as my partner doesn't add nor distract any worth from me.
Mmm, perhaps MF presence is tell me that Z is catalyst for my transformed relationship with my brother. I can now love him again, touch him lovingly as his sister.
Late afternoon
Displacement in Ace of Diamond's year card
Three of Heart
It often makes us very intellectual when it comes to matter of the heart. We tend to have our concerns rolling around and around in our head and attempt to apply all sorts of concepts to our situation when what we really need is to feel our feelings and trust our experiences.
U may find that u r doing a lot of soul-searching this year, a process of turning ur attention within to find the real answers.
Soul
So apt.
Queen of Diamond
Three of Club in Venus
If they utilise their inheritance of spiritual knowledge, much success can be realised. They are here to be transformers of energy
1. Worry into creativity
Art, music and writing are excellent outlets for a Three's abundant creativity
2. Fear into Faith
They can have love whenever they make a firm decision and refuse to accept less than what they truly want.
Three of Spades in Mars
There are often emotional challenges that began in childhood that must be dealt with before they can have a happily married or romantic life. They also need to develop positive mental habits and affirmations about love if they are to overcome some of the challenges
They are restless and finding a combination that matches their diversity may take some time but is entirely possible.
Soul
I have already mend my relationship with my brother. To my amazement, I can love him again after so many years.
Mar 18
Now the relationship with Z is going on well.
I have overcome the challenges and he is a true diamond. We are both lucky to find each other.
Father, it takes two to tango. Z didn't call me. I have opened up. If he wanted to, he would have. I have to admit, he is not into me.
And now I am fine, I no longer take it personally. I can love again and that's what the price. He doesn't know what he wants, he just want to be married. And I won't do the chasing.
Father, I finished my practices. Z was in my mind throughout it and such a roller coaster. My mind is on compulsion mode. Despite that I found I was able to switch off towards the end I was giggling and humming. It was all in my mind.
Afternoon
Met M, an irritating ex-colleague who has turned into a close friend. He always comes to me for input whenever he makes a major decision. I always tot he was a Seven of Clubs but turns out he was a Seven of Spade and his Ruling was Four of Diamonds. He is my cosmic lesson card (Seven of Spade) and there has always been a closeness between us. I am his Pluto and Saturn for his Four of Diamonds. No wonder he always turns to me for input.
Father, why now? All these years of thinking he is Seven of Clubs! Why now he is a Seven of Spade, same as Z. What's the message here for me and Z?
1st we will not be together as partner, we r just friends. But perhaps its because that's because of his Four of Diamond Ruling.
2nd tot we will be good friends and its a plus point for our relationship.
3rd tot, I needed another motivation, Faith card to follow my Destiny. MF has many setbacks but he never lose track of his dream.
I told him that takes courage. I shared with him my dream to be a writer but I lacked the faith and from now on I will stay positive and be courageous to follow my dream. Like MF says, there is nothing to lose.
I was browsing my thing and saw 'Faith' in my Transformation Game Card.
Soul
Yes, like what Sadhguru says life continue. My life doesn't revolve around Z. Let me not hold back my life for someone that is not that into me. If he comes, he comes and I will be open. But meanwhile focus on my career as a writer. He is not ready for rship and definitely not ready for me.
I can let go of Z as I don't need him to justify myself, to love myself, to be joyful. With or without him, my self-worth is intact, my joy is intact. His presence as my partner doesn't add nor distract any worth from me.
Mmm, perhaps MF presence is tell me that Z is catalyst for my transformed relationship with my brother. I can now love him again, touch him lovingly as his sister.
Late afternoon
Displacement in Ace of Diamond's year card
Three of Heart
It often makes us very intellectual when it comes to matter of the heart. We tend to have our concerns rolling around and around in our head and attempt to apply all sorts of concepts to our situation when what we really need is to feel our feelings and trust our experiences.
U may find that u r doing a lot of soul-searching this year, a process of turning ur attention within to find the real answers.
Soul
So apt.
Queen of Diamond
Three of Club in Venus
If they utilise their inheritance of spiritual knowledge, much success can be realised. They are here to be transformers of energy
1. Worry into creativity
Art, music and writing are excellent outlets for a Three's abundant creativity
2. Fear into Faith
They can have love whenever they make a firm decision and refuse to accept less than what they truly want.
Three of Spades in Mars
There are often emotional challenges that began in childhood that must be dealt with before they can have a happily married or romantic life. They also need to develop positive mental habits and affirmations about love if they are to overcome some of the challenges
They are restless and finding a combination that matches their diversity may take some time but is entirely possible.
Soul
I have already mend my relationship with my brother. To my amazement, I can love him again after so many years.
Mar 18
Now the relationship with Z is going on well.
I have overcome the challenges and he is a true diamond. We are both lucky to find each other.
Cosmic Lesson (5)
Feb 6
Father, today I did my practices. I was humming, laughing and singing. Took me nearly 2 hours.
I went to the temple with family for prayers. Noted that Z's zodiac sign is not good and I inadvertently prayed for him too. In the past, I would inform but now I m just giving, not asking for receipt. Besides he too need his time off as his brother's family will just have left.
Feb 6 Eve
Father, my left feet is swelling quite badly. I must have strained it yesterday night. It has been a few years since it so bad.
I m puzzled and bit demotivated. I tot I was fine and now why the swell.
Just now when I woke up in the evening. I recalled my Nine of Heart Pluto card in my Ruling card. I realised its a death of how I approach friendship and relationship. I am opening up and learning about trust because I am no longer fearful about being hurt. I have removed my auto defense mechanism.
Just checked to my Result in Ruling card - Revolutionised my thinking.
Father, had tots of Z but I waived it cos he is not here. I now realised his cosmic lesson is Two of Hearts - being expressive in feelings, finding out what type of relationship he wants. Just tot I am a perfect tool as I am expressive and know what I want. For him, he doesn't know. Aiyah, compulsive tots. Waive it. My love life is effortless and I need not dramatise about it.
Father, today I did my practices. I was humming, laughing and singing. Took me nearly 2 hours.
I went to the temple with family for prayers. Noted that Z's zodiac sign is not good and I inadvertently prayed for him too. In the past, I would inform but now I m just giving, not asking for receipt. Besides he too need his time off as his brother's family will just have left.
Feb 6 Eve
Father, my left feet is swelling quite badly. I must have strained it yesterday night. It has been a few years since it so bad.
I m puzzled and bit demotivated. I tot I was fine and now why the swell.
Just now when I woke up in the evening. I recalled my Nine of Heart Pluto card in my Ruling card. I realised its a death of how I approach friendship and relationship. I am opening up and learning about trust because I am no longer fearful about being hurt. I have removed my auto defense mechanism.
Just checked to my Result in Ruling card - Revolutionised my thinking.
Father, had tots of Z but I waived it cos he is not here. I now realised his cosmic lesson is Two of Hearts - being expressive in feelings, finding out what type of relationship he wants. Just tot I am a perfect tool as I am expressive and know what I want. For him, he doesn't know. Aiyah, compulsive tots. Waive it. My love life is effortless and I need not dramatise about it.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
I am not lucky, I faced and conquered my fear
Feb 5 Eve
Father, just now saw a gal with much lower attributes vs the guy. First tot was why the guy choose the gal. Second tot is if she can get him, I can do better. I am glad I can now go up instead of lower.
Also had a flash tot that Z's family intro him a hot gal. I just dismissed it and said I m here for long term and I am a good catch.
Then tot of him didn't keep in touch and etc and it will be another week before we can meet. I reminded myself that we have other years ahead, so what a week or two.
Father, compulsive tots keeps on coming in but these days it dies off as fast. My mantra is he is not in my life yet and he is not with me, so don't want to stay in that space. My love life is effortless.
The Passion Test
Richard Paul Evans - A famous self-publisher/writer on promotion of his book
What I learned is that if someone talked to me, they would buy the book. So, I learned what sold the book. I learned how to speak about it, and I was able to talk from a level of passion. If I didn't care about the book, it never would have happened, but they saw that passion coming through me and they wanted to share it, so they would buy the book. Then, after they bought the book, they would read it and they come back to buy more, because they wanted to share the message.
Soul
Yeap, I must learned to share it too. I think this msg also show the extrapolation of 20 %
The Passion Test
(Mar 6 - may want to think again of what V mentioned about the video)
Richard Paul Evans - A famous writer
I think anytime u r following ur passions, u r going to be tested. There are things that test how much we really care about something.
Soul
1st tot was on rship and the fact that I got Z, who has his own agenda on how things proceed. Like during philharmonic, he wouldn't listen to my input and instead want to experience it himself. I also got more attraction for him vs him for me. So, a perfect test.
As for my writing, I need to do more and promote more.
The Passion Test
Richard Paul Evans - A famous author
When people says "u r so lucky", it's like, no, u have no idea. I was willing to fight for this book. I was willing to do uncomfortable things. I was willing to take chances. I was willing to risk everything for this book. Failure simply wasn't an option.
Soul
People says I am so lucky I got the 4 days job. I put myself on the line, I quit my job and was called back and I nego for it.
Even at college where I passed all the exams, its true I don't listen to lecture but I studied at home and I learn to 'think and apply' instead of memorising answer.
While I m receptive during meditation, I flew to india alone and unknowingly to do the programs. I wake up 4 am daily to do my morning practices and I do evening ones too. I spend nearly 4 hours on yoga and meditation combined. People think I am lucky, I put in the hard work.
Now this rship with Z, its going effortlessly on the surface. The hard work is for me and Z managing our own insecurities, learning to manage our compulsive behaviours - me going mental and he going physical, our own beliefs and set plans for our life. And it will require compromise and cooperation from both sides.
(Mar 6 - I faced such challenge with Z. The only reason I am going through is for my sexual liberation and because he is a diamond)
Another thing I want is my writing.
(Mar 6 - which I haven't done much yet.)
The Passion Test
Richard Paul Evans - A famous author
When u have that kind of passion, fate favours the bold. All of a sudden things will just start. U will struggle and u'll fight, but u will win.
(Mar 6 - Sadhguru said that you can't choose Linga Bhairavi. You just have to make yourself bright and shining. I already know she chose me.)
We do not succeed in spite of our obstacles and challenges. We succeed precisely of them.
Fear is the opposite of faith. Fear is something u recognise for what it is. U can't have fear and faith at the same time in ur mind, because faith is simply a state of mind.
Fear can help u recognise reality and that's a service and its a good things. But when u r ready to move, then don't counsel from fear, u let it go. Its like, okay, I am going to overcome that. I believe I can do this.
Soul
Yeap, two things in my Passions List. 1st is to be internationally famous published author. 2nd is to be in an intimate relationship with Z.
Father, just now saw a gal with much lower attributes vs the guy. First tot was why the guy choose the gal. Second tot is if she can get him, I can do better. I am glad I can now go up instead of lower.
Also had a flash tot that Z's family intro him a hot gal. I just dismissed it and said I m here for long term and I am a good catch.
Then tot of him didn't keep in touch and etc and it will be another week before we can meet. I reminded myself that we have other years ahead, so what a week or two.
Father, compulsive tots keeps on coming in but these days it dies off as fast. My mantra is he is not in my life yet and he is not with me, so don't want to stay in that space. My love life is effortless.
The Passion Test
Richard Paul Evans - A famous self-publisher/writer on promotion of his book
What I learned is that if someone talked to me, they would buy the book. So, I learned what sold the book. I learned how to speak about it, and I was able to talk from a level of passion. If I didn't care about the book, it never would have happened, but they saw that passion coming through me and they wanted to share it, so they would buy the book. Then, after they bought the book, they would read it and they come back to buy more, because they wanted to share the message.
Soul
Yeap, I must learned to share it too. I think this msg also show the extrapolation of 20 %
The Passion Test
(Mar 6 - may want to think again of what V mentioned about the video)
Richard Paul Evans - A famous writer
I think anytime u r following ur passions, u r going to be tested. There are things that test how much we really care about something.
Soul
1st tot was on rship and the fact that I got Z, who has his own agenda on how things proceed. Like during philharmonic, he wouldn't listen to my input and instead want to experience it himself. I also got more attraction for him vs him for me. So, a perfect test.
As for my writing, I need to do more and promote more.
The Passion Test
Richard Paul Evans - A famous author
When people says "u r so lucky", it's like, no, u have no idea. I was willing to fight for this book. I was willing to do uncomfortable things. I was willing to take chances. I was willing to risk everything for this book. Failure simply wasn't an option.
Soul
People says I am so lucky I got the 4 days job. I put myself on the line, I quit my job and was called back and I nego for it.
Even at college where I passed all the exams, its true I don't listen to lecture but I studied at home and I learn to 'think and apply' instead of memorising answer.
While I m receptive during meditation, I flew to india alone and unknowingly to do the programs. I wake up 4 am daily to do my morning practices and I do evening ones too. I spend nearly 4 hours on yoga and meditation combined. People think I am lucky, I put in the hard work.
Now this rship with Z, its going effortlessly on the surface. The hard work is for me and Z managing our own insecurities, learning to manage our compulsive behaviours - me going mental and he going physical, our own beliefs and set plans for our life. And it will require compromise and cooperation from both sides.
(Mar 6 - I faced such challenge with Z. The only reason I am going through is for my sexual liberation and because he is a diamond)
Another thing I want is my writing.
(Mar 6 - which I haven't done much yet.)
The Passion Test
Richard Paul Evans - A famous author
When u have that kind of passion, fate favours the bold. All of a sudden things will just start. U will struggle and u'll fight, but u will win.
(Mar 6 - Sadhguru said that you can't choose Linga Bhairavi. You just have to make yourself bright and shining. I already know she chose me.)
We do not succeed in spite of our obstacles and challenges. We succeed precisely of them.
Fear is the opposite of faith. Fear is something u recognise for what it is. U can't have fear and faith at the same time in ur mind, because faith is simply a state of mind.
Fear can help u recognise reality and that's a service and its a good things. But when u r ready to move, then don't counsel from fear, u let it go. Its like, okay, I am going to overcome that. I believe I can do this.
Soul
Yeap, two things in my Passions List. 1st is to be internationally famous published author. 2nd is to be in an intimate relationship with Z.
I am freed from my past
Feb 5
Father, had tots of Z. Checked to his 2012 destiny cards and noted that Queen of Diamond is his result card if he take up his Pluto challenge of changing his mindset and plans. Not sure why but somehow it gives me more confidence and I need not worry this is a fling for him. As for me, next year focus is on me being a writer and a change of values too.
(Mar 6 - he really wanted a fling, albeit a long one. He is already planning that we should buy a condo so that we can have our fun. He had it all planned, but he also didn't realise I too had planned for early exit.)
I am now fine if we don't meet up till sathsang. Let's play it by the ear. I want him but I will not lead my life for him. He was never in the pix and I have travelled so far to be at space I am. I won't let go my feeling of joy and contentment for moments of pleasure. Anyway, with or without him, my love life is effortless.
Father, my past insecurity is gone. I was comfortable with the old gang, its effortless catching up with them.
I am also freed from my brother's criticism. He is criticising his daughter the way he did me. His daughter said that his dad only tell people her bad points and cause people to have bad impression of her. I responded immediately that no worries, we only have bad impression of his dad.
I finally felt the closeness and love for my brother. I know he loves his daughter and yet criticised her sarcastically and its because he think is for her own good. He did it to me previously and I have been carrying the bad impression of me for a long long time. Nowadays, his criticism of me wash away like water, it doesn't stick and I also don't feel hurt by it. Yea, alas I finally love my brother. I was able to touch him lovingly. I know he loves me just like he loves his daughter. His criticism is to his way of showing his love. Father, the past is truly gone. This is truly a new year for me.
Tot of Z again and how we r so suitable for each other. We showed our love by spending time, buying good food and by touch.
The Passion Test
Jyothish can be a valuable additional input to the decisions u have to make. It can increase the likelihood of success by being alert to the timing of when u choose to take action. U can also use it to take action to avoid undesirable consequences.
Be open, u may discover that all sorts of interesting possibilities appear in ur life. Use the tools and the knowledge which resonates with ur own experience of life.
Soul
For me using 7thunder cards is a good way. Firstly, I am able to face my Seven of Heart with an awareness instead of allowing my mind to run it astray. I knew its a period of facing my fear of relationship and I can face it squarely or jeopardize it by running away again. For me, the outcome is not being with Z, but of self-growth. I am ready to move out and face intimacy again.
As for knowing that I may be in Z's next year destiny, it makes me less anxious. I am now willing to make time. I become patient, I need rush through my lesson. Also, I know that while I may have challenge this year as I want him more than he want me, next year he would have me, meaning he wants me more by then. And that's means I have overcome my fear of intimacy by then.
Keywords in intimacy - compromise and cooperation. Something for me to remember and I need to add patience too. I need not push things to happen, it will happen in its own time. My love life is effortless.
(Mar 6 - I finally experience my first intimacy with him and I am looking forward to more.)
Father, had tots of Z. Checked to his 2012 destiny cards and noted that Queen of Diamond is his result card if he take up his Pluto challenge of changing his mindset and plans. Not sure why but somehow it gives me more confidence and I need not worry this is a fling for him. As for me, next year focus is on me being a writer and a change of values too.
(Mar 6 - he really wanted a fling, albeit a long one. He is already planning that we should buy a condo so that we can have our fun. He had it all planned, but he also didn't realise I too had planned for early exit.)
I am now fine if we don't meet up till sathsang. Let's play it by the ear. I want him but I will not lead my life for him. He was never in the pix and I have travelled so far to be at space I am. I won't let go my feeling of joy and contentment for moments of pleasure. Anyway, with or without him, my love life is effortless.
Father, my past insecurity is gone. I was comfortable with the old gang, its effortless catching up with them.
I am also freed from my brother's criticism. He is criticising his daughter the way he did me. His daughter said that his dad only tell people her bad points and cause people to have bad impression of her. I responded immediately that no worries, we only have bad impression of his dad.
I finally felt the closeness and love for my brother. I know he loves his daughter and yet criticised her sarcastically and its because he think is for her own good. He did it to me previously and I have been carrying the bad impression of me for a long long time. Nowadays, his criticism of me wash away like water, it doesn't stick and I also don't feel hurt by it. Yea, alas I finally love my brother. I was able to touch him lovingly. I know he loves me just like he loves his daughter. His criticism is to his way of showing his love. Father, the past is truly gone. This is truly a new year for me.
Tot of Z again and how we r so suitable for each other. We showed our love by spending time, buying good food and by touch.
The Passion Test
Jyothish can be a valuable additional input to the decisions u have to make. It can increase the likelihood of success by being alert to the timing of when u choose to take action. U can also use it to take action to avoid undesirable consequences.
Be open, u may discover that all sorts of interesting possibilities appear in ur life. Use the tools and the knowledge which resonates with ur own experience of life.
Soul
For me using 7thunder cards is a good way. Firstly, I am able to face my Seven of Heart with an awareness instead of allowing my mind to run it astray. I knew its a period of facing my fear of relationship and I can face it squarely or jeopardize it by running away again. For me, the outcome is not being with Z, but of self-growth. I am ready to move out and face intimacy again.
As for knowing that I may be in Z's next year destiny, it makes me less anxious. I am now willing to make time. I become patient, I need rush through my lesson. Also, I know that while I may have challenge this year as I want him more than he want me, next year he would have me, meaning he wants me more by then. And that's means I have overcome my fear of intimacy by then.
Keywords in intimacy - compromise and cooperation. Something for me to remember and I need to add patience too. I need not push things to happen, it will happen in its own time. My love life is effortless.
(Mar 6 - I finally experience my first intimacy with him and I am looking forward to more.)
Tools that helps in our journey
Feb 4
The Passion Test
Acting from the state of No Tension is the key to performing action that produces powerful results. This state of No Tension is the inner state of wholeness, of calm. When the mind is calm, then inspiration is natural.
To create successful action, u must first pull back, create the state of restful alertness, inner calm and then ur action will bear fruit.
Living a fully conscious life means noticing when u feel expanded, when u feel contracted and responding appropriately.
How do u create that state of inner calm that becomes a habit.
1. Getting a good night's sleep
2. Meditation - twice a day
3. Prayer - daily
How can u avoid having to go through all that disappointment?
1. Jyotishi - possible trends and predictions for urself
When u know the future tendencies, u can adjust ur actions appropriately to achieve the best results. U wan to make sure u had a clear understanding of anything in ur lives that could be a challenge or an opportunity, so u could adjust accordingly.
It is not always 100 percent accurate, but it is a profound tool to help in creating the life u choose to live.
Soul
Great that I have Destiny and Love cards to use and it has been effective.
The Passion Test
Acting from the state of No Tension is the key to performing action that produces powerful results. This state of No Tension is the inner state of wholeness, of calm. When the mind is calm, then inspiration is natural.
To create successful action, u must first pull back, create the state of restful alertness, inner calm and then ur action will bear fruit.
Living a fully conscious life means noticing when u feel expanded, when u feel contracted and responding appropriately.
How do u create that state of inner calm that becomes a habit.
1. Getting a good night's sleep
2. Meditation - twice a day
3. Prayer - daily
How can u avoid having to go through all that disappointment?
1. Jyotishi - possible trends and predictions for urself
When u know the future tendencies, u can adjust ur actions appropriately to achieve the best results. U wan to make sure u had a clear understanding of anything in ur lives that could be a challenge or an opportunity, so u could adjust accordingly.
It is not always 100 percent accurate, but it is a profound tool to help in creating the life u choose to live.
Soul
Great that I have Destiny and Love cards to use and it has been effective.
Facing my karma in relationship (21)
Feb 3 Eve
Father, I had some tot of Z, which I was able to waive. I recall BSP's teacher saying that she and her husband r no longer attached to each other. When they r together, they r with each other. But when they r not, they don't think of each other. Guess this is what Sadhguru said about he romance his wife but he doesn't build his life around his wife.
Father, I saw my karmic relationship that I latched on to a partner just because I think he could offer me material and mental stimulation. This is similar to my past life whereby I married for materials. I was wondering if I done the same with Z as he and I doesn't have common strength, ie he doesn't like to read nor write; he doesn't believe in spirituality.
Then I saw my sis with her husband and my brother with her wife, they doesn't seem to have the same strength.
Mmm, what I like about Z
1. He makes me feel like a woman
2. He let's me be vulnerable with him.
3. He is also vulnerable with me.
4. We both like food and comfort
5. We both believe in doing good
6. He is courageous, a self-made man
7. I am attracted to him
8. He is not afraid of my layers of intensity.
9. He is not afraid of my smartness and intelligence
10. He is also considerate of potential feeling of hurt.
What I don't like
1. He is not as attracted to me.
2. He is not attached to me, I come after his work and friends
3. He is in too physical mode.
(Feb 5 - actually it is good as I feared I lost my identity. Since he is not attached to me, I can expand my career)
(Mar 6 - now reading this and tot actually there is no problem per se. It is just me afraid of my future and my pride is dented by Z saying that he doesn't want me as much as I want him. Infact, he is very fine that I meet other guys. So, instead of taking this personally..at least i have an open option.)
My Saturn lesson
Seven of Heart - non-attachment in rship
If we can allow others to be who they are and not place so many demands upon them, we not only become more aware of their true personalities, but also we allow ourselves the freedom to be just who we are and experience just how it feels to be free of fear and attachment. Many high spiritual experiences have occurred while a Seven is present
Soul
Similar to Osho-Friendliness
You don't depend on others and u don't make others dependent on u.
True friends, mature, easy with each other, natural.
There is no urgency about their connection, no neediness, no desire to change the other into something else
U may feel that u r being forced to make a sacrifice now, but if u apply the wisdom to the current situation, u could learn the value of real love.
U r no longer interested in all kinds of dramas and romances that other people are engaged in. It is not a loss. It is a birth of a higher, more loving quality born of the fullness of experience. It is a birth of a love that is truly unconditional, without expectations of demands.
Soul
Tot of me, most fearful of personal relationships. Most suffering as I took things personally. I had the worst impact of abandonment and because of this I would take the energy to swing back to the positive side.
Similar to boss being such a bitch that doesn't seem to care about rship to someone who does.
Its unleashing the mind at both ends.
Instead of worrying or wondering why I am given such a tough challenge to swing my fear in rship to fearlessness instead of just normalness, I must remember of CEO.
So, I will persevere.
I attracted Z into my life because I want to explore other facets of loving myself and I have chosen a mirror to help me learn to love myself.
Father, a coincidence that I met my karma card when I am now going thru my karmic relationship. Very apt. Thanks.
Two of Hearts in Pluto
A major goal for u is to have a successful love relationship. So u will make many changes within urself in the name of love or romance (Soul - no wonder, tots of sacrifice)
Whether u r interested in the partner of ur dreams, u will have to take a different approach in ur life if u r to be successful in this areas.
Love and intimacy requires compromise and cooperation, two of the keynotes for this card of the "love union".
Your intense desire for this closeness will cause u to confront some of the parts of urself that tend to keep this intimacy from u. At times, this may seem very challenging or difficult, but it helps to keep in mind ur reasons for facing this situation - to have more intimacy in ur life.
Affirmation
I create the ideal love partner. Satisfaction in my love life and my lovers are mine to embrace.
Soul
Exactly what I need. Now I know why Shb comes into my life. She is my mirror of not loving myself.
Father, I had some tot of Z, which I was able to waive. I recall BSP's teacher saying that she and her husband r no longer attached to each other. When they r together, they r with each other. But when they r not, they don't think of each other. Guess this is what Sadhguru said about he romance his wife but he doesn't build his life around his wife.
Father, I saw my karmic relationship that I latched on to a partner just because I think he could offer me material and mental stimulation. This is similar to my past life whereby I married for materials. I was wondering if I done the same with Z as he and I doesn't have common strength, ie he doesn't like to read nor write; he doesn't believe in spirituality.
Then I saw my sis with her husband and my brother with her wife, they doesn't seem to have the same strength.
Mmm, what I like about Z
1. He makes me feel like a woman
2. He let's me be vulnerable with him.
3. He is also vulnerable with me.
4. We both like food and comfort
5. We both believe in doing good
6. He is courageous, a self-made man
7. I am attracted to him
8. He is not afraid of my layers of intensity.
9. He is not afraid of my smartness and intelligence
10. He is also considerate of potential feeling of hurt.
What I don't like
1. He is not as attracted to me.
2. He is not attached to me, I come after his work and friends
3. He is in too physical mode.
(Feb 5 - actually it is good as I feared I lost my identity. Since he is not attached to me, I can expand my career)
(Mar 6 - now reading this and tot actually there is no problem per se. It is just me afraid of my future and my pride is dented by Z saying that he doesn't want me as much as I want him. Infact, he is very fine that I meet other guys. So, instead of taking this personally..at least i have an open option.)
My Saturn lesson
Seven of Heart - non-attachment in rship
If we can allow others to be who they are and not place so many demands upon them, we not only become more aware of their true personalities, but also we allow ourselves the freedom to be just who we are and experience just how it feels to be free of fear and attachment. Many high spiritual experiences have occurred while a Seven is present
Soul
Similar to Osho-Friendliness
You don't depend on others and u don't make others dependent on u.
True friends, mature, easy with each other, natural.
There is no urgency about their connection, no neediness, no desire to change the other into something else
U may feel that u r being forced to make a sacrifice now, but if u apply the wisdom to the current situation, u could learn the value of real love.
U r no longer interested in all kinds of dramas and romances that other people are engaged in. It is not a loss. It is a birth of a higher, more loving quality born of the fullness of experience. It is a birth of a love that is truly unconditional, without expectations of demands.
Soul
Tot of me, most fearful of personal relationships. Most suffering as I took things personally. I had the worst impact of abandonment and because of this I would take the energy to swing back to the positive side.
Similar to boss being such a bitch that doesn't seem to care about rship to someone who does.
Its unleashing the mind at both ends.
Instead of worrying or wondering why I am given such a tough challenge to swing my fear in rship to fearlessness instead of just normalness, I must remember of CEO.
So, I will persevere.
I attracted Z into my life because I want to explore other facets of loving myself and I have chosen a mirror to help me learn to love myself.
Father, a coincidence that I met my karma card when I am now going thru my karmic relationship. Very apt. Thanks.
Two of Hearts in Pluto
A major goal for u is to have a successful love relationship. So u will make many changes within urself in the name of love or romance (Soul - no wonder, tots of sacrifice)
Whether u r interested in the partner of ur dreams, u will have to take a different approach in ur life if u r to be successful in this areas.
Love and intimacy requires compromise and cooperation, two of the keynotes for this card of the "love union".
Your intense desire for this closeness will cause u to confront some of the parts of urself that tend to keep this intimacy from u. At times, this may seem very challenging or difficult, but it helps to keep in mind ur reasons for facing this situation - to have more intimacy in ur life.
Affirmation
I create the ideal love partner. Satisfaction in my love life and my lovers are mine to embrace.
Soul
Exactly what I need. Now I know why Shb comes into my life. She is my mirror of not loving myself.
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