Jan 6
Father, m feelin better now that I know what is my website for. Also, I guess I m feeling secured wit my part time job that will give me d income. So, there is no shortage in inflow. The salary deduction only affect the payout for loans.
Thanks for everything. And once my Q n A website is more established, I will approach d newspaper.
Now I understand my Osho transformation card - I m not alone n need not have my own agenda. Things happen when they are needed to happen; things are bound to happen when they are needed to happen. All goes well - just trust.
Succes is equal to you-plus-God.
(Yeap, I was havin pte agenda that I now released. Jus do what I wan to, forget abt achievement)
Hell and heaven are within.
Whenever u r conscious, whenever u act wit full awareness, u r in heaven.
Whatsoever u do, if u r not aware of what u r doing, the gate of hell open.
(Yeap, once I know m off cos not sure if can achieve, I start to release n d restlessness is gone. I feel relaxed)
Negative situations, u cannot jus escape. They are the very situation in which life has to integrate and grow. They r challenges of life. Accept them. They r blessings in disguise.
Don't think of anything as a curse or a blessing. Don't interpret it and suddenly u will see that everything is beautiful
(Soul - I was feeling apprehensive abt reportings again. Wan to run. Reading this make me stop to face it. M better now. Besides it wil help me in my Q n A. Very few people can strategise to escape like I did. So, advice wld be to face in d best way, which may be easier to them. Perhaps difficult to me ;)
Your mind goes on playing infinitely - the whole thing is just like a dream in an empty room. Your mind is just frolicking, jus like children. Just a play. Don't be serious abt them, both bad and good. Even if its a great tot and u wan to serve humanity and transform the whole world and u wan to bring heaven to earth.
(Soul - Once I saw this, I realised I need not pressure myself to achieve my Passion. I jus do what I can n wan to do and relax, which is d whole purpose of me doing part time, jus to relax, be at ease n do something that I enjoy. I was sidetracked. But m back now)
A new earth
The greater part of most people thinking is involuntary, automatic and repetitive. It is no more than a kind of mental static and fulfills no purpose.
Strictly speaking, u don't think but thinking happens to u.
The statement, "I think" implies volition. It implies that u hav a say in the matter and that there is a choice involved on ur part. For most people, this is not yet the case.
"I think" is as false as "I digest" or "I circulate my blood". All these happens without ur particpation.
The voice in the head has a life of its own. Most people are at the mercy of that voice; they are possessed by thought, by the mind.
And since d mind is conditioned by the past, u r forced to reenact the past again and again.
The Eastern term for this is karma. When u r identified wit that voice in ur head, u r possessed by it.
Through complete identification with the mind, a false sense of self - the ego - came into existence.
The density of the ego depends on the degree to which you - the consciousness - are identified wit ur mind, with thinking.
Thinking is no more than a tiny aspect of the totality of consciousness, the totality of who u are.
Soul - .mmm, coincidentally reading d same topic for both A new earth and osho.
Ever since I do meditation, I know there is another part of me, apart fr thinkin. I can observe my tot comin in without my participation. I m getting to realised I am apart frm my tot.
Also, d meditation bliss and laughter and impossible asanas, somethin without my participation also made me aware that apart from tots, there is Energy in me.
A new earth
The degree of identification wit the mind differs from person to person. Some people enjoys period of freedom from it, however brief, and the peace, joy and aliveness they experience in those moments make life worth living.
These are also the moments when creativity, love and compassion aries.
(Soul - that's what m experiencing during meditation. No tots, jus me n Light n silence and laugher).
A new earth
Most people are constantly trapped in the egoic state.
They are alienated from themselves, as well as from others and the world around them.
They are absorbed by thinking, either past or future and not in the present.
Total alienation results in "phony" interaction/behaviours.
Alienation means you don't feel at ease in any situation, any place aor with any person, not even yourself.
You are always trying to get "home" but never feel at home.
To see one's predicament clearly is a first step toward going beyond it.
Soul - pix getting clearer. Thank u.
afternoon
I asked for a bag. I got one, albeit a clutch evenin bag. But it is Mulberry. Amazing, on my own I wouldn't buy branded bags, and now I hav 2 branded bags given by boss.
A new earth
In addition to the movement of tot, although not entirely separate from it, there is another dimension to the ego ; emotion.
Thinkin n emotion turn into ego only when u identify wit them and they take u over completely, that is to say, when they become "I".
Emotion is the body's reaction to ur mind.
Emotion can also be a response to an actual event or situation, but it will be a response seen thru the filter of mental interpretation.
Although the body is very intelligent, it cannot tell the difference between an actual situation and a thought. It reacts to every tot as if it were a reality.
The ego is not only the unobserved mind, the voice in the head pretending to be you, but also the unobserved emotions that are the body's reaction to what the voice in the head is saying.
A reaction happens when the mind did not hav the time to voice the tot, but body already responded. Reaction is due to unconscious assumption. "Nobody respects and appreciates me, I need to fight to survive" "I don't deserve abundance". "I don't deserve love".
Unconscious assumption create emotions in the body which in turns generate mind activity and/or instant reaction.
Soul - this is what differentiate feeler n thinker, d unconscious assumption. Cos, our mind wld generally activate in d same space, but d unconscious serve as a fueler.
Then by right, I shld guide Feeler instead of Thinker. I guess that's why Thinker easier to guide cos they may not have many unconscious assumption.
For me, whatever I had, I already dig out years ago cos I cannot allowed unconsciousness to dictate my life. I am in charge.
Negative emotions is toxic and harm ur body harmonious functioning.
Positive emotion can be ego-generated or deeper emotion that emanates from ur natural state of connectedness wit Being.
Positive emotions generated by the ego already contain within themselves their opposite into which they can quickly turn to.
Eg anticipation abt future turn into letdown/disappointment.
The deeper emotion are not really emotions at all but state of Being.
Emotions exist within the realm of opposites.
State of Being can be obscured, but they have no opposite.
They emanate from within u as the love, joy and peace that are aspect of ur true nature.
Soul - amen.
Soul - yday when mom cooked veg for me. I felt the love, now that I know she showed her love in service mode.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
More tots on my passion
Jan 5 (evening -website)
Father, idea came.
For me d website is a marketing site for my book and also speaking. As for coaching, will also try to do, more for networking.
Website - www.selfdiscovery.com
Content
1. Profile n Blog
2. Article by W n C n V (all three can write)
3 Q & A (free)
- Urgent - answer within 1 week
- Non-urgent answer required within 2 week
4. Recommendation of site/books n how to apply, what to look for.
5. For networking - a gathering of like minded people on a journey of self discovery.
There is no fee payable for d Q & A that wil be published.
Fee only come if they want us to coach them privately for a certain period. So, its not a selling site in pushing. Its u like us, our advise resonate wit u and u wan to continue long term. Then we will charge.
Also income will come from advertiser of Specialist.
Yea, I m comfortable wit this. I wan to do this becos its my passion and I wan to share. In d end, if this is to be my career, God will let me know. If not, this will be something that I am passionate and enjoy doing.
As for my job, will basically take unpaid leave whenever possible. If possible, stick to Thur n Fri off.
Just now meditation was amazing, some short crying followed by so much laughter, such blissful feeling. Tot I saw pink light.
Even was laughing in d final round thru Shakti.
Sadhguru, thank u for sharing this Gift.
Father, idea came.
For me d website is a marketing site for my book and also speaking. As for coaching, will also try to do, more for networking.
Website - www.selfdiscovery.com
Content
1. Profile n Blog
2. Article by W n C n V (all three can write)
3 Q & A (free)
- Urgent - answer within 1 week
- Non-urgent answer required within 2 week
4. Recommendation of site/books n how to apply, what to look for.
5. For networking - a gathering of like minded people on a journey of self discovery.
There is no fee payable for d Q & A that wil be published.
Fee only come if they want us to coach them privately for a certain period. So, its not a selling site in pushing. Its u like us, our advise resonate wit u and u wan to continue long term. Then we will charge.
Also income will come from advertiser of Specialist.
Yea, I m comfortable wit this. I wan to do this becos its my passion and I wan to share. In d end, if this is to be my career, God will let me know. If not, this will be something that I am passionate and enjoy doing.
As for my job, will basically take unpaid leave whenever possible. If possible, stick to Thur n Fri off.
Just now meditation was amazing, some short crying followed by so much laughter, such blissful feeling. Tot I saw pink light.
Even was laughing in d final round thru Shakti.
Sadhguru, thank u for sharing this Gift.
Ego is clever but not intelligent
Jan 5
Father, jus now ego says u see, quit n now not sure. Then I replied, m quitting so that I can hav 'work' after retirement. For sure d office work will stop at 55 but coaching, website and writing can continue.
Ego is pushing me to do more on new career. Well, let me focus on d veg and budget cos by then it will be samyama.
A new earth
When u r in a negative state, there is something in u that wants the negativity, that perceives it as pleasurable or that believes it will get u what u want. Otherwise, why hang on to negativity and make urself and others miserable.
If in d midst of negativity, u r able to realise "At this moment, I am creating suffering for myself", it will be enough to raise u above the limitations of conditioned ego states and reaction.
You will be free to let go of ur unhappiness the moment u recognise it as unintelligent.
Soul - I recall even at very young age, primary school. Whenever I lost something (which is quite often), I decided I won't go and worry abt it instead let it come cos even then I told myself unless d worry will get me my goods, why bother. Why don't I just continue my day like usual. Why be unhappy unnecessarily.
Quite amazing for such a young age.
Jus chk C's sms on me behaving like INTP - Architect - Yr passion is Finding Knowledge and Competence
A new earth
The ego may be clever, but it is not intelligent.
Cleverness pursues its own little aims.
Intelligence sees the larger whole in which all thing are connected.
Cleverness divides; intelligence includes.
Soul - I wasn't being clever, but was intelligent. I didn't realise there is a difference between clever and intelligent.
A new earth.
Impatience, nervousness, fed up, irritation, discontentment - background unhappiness that is many people's predominant inner state.
You need to be extremely alert n present to be able to detect them. Whenever u do, it is a moment of awakening, of disidentification from the mind.
Thoughts behind d background negativity.
"There is something that needs to happen in my life before I am at peace. And I resent that it hasn't happen yet. Maybe my resentment will make it happen"
"Something happened in the past that should not have happen and I resent that. If that hadn't happened, I would be at peace now.
"Something is happening now that should not be happening and it is preventing me from being at peace now"
Soul - mmm, I will be alert on this background negativity.
I m judging myself. I am the happiest n most at peace period in my life. I am finally liberated part time from workforce. I have revamped the whole admin and yet why I still feel not that happy.
Perhaps is becos m more sensitive and is aware. The foreground negativity is gone but background remain.
I am also surprised that m still not liking PA. I m jus payin her lip service, but she keep on coming. Why can't be symphatetic, loving. Aiyah she got 500k.
Also judging myself for being nervous abt d budget.
I was so happy when I quit, happier still when I got part time, even happier abd d website and coaching and now still abv ave happy but much lower.
Why I can stil yo yo, although yo yo is narrower but I wonder how to go beyond it.
A new earth
How to be at peace? By making peace with the present moment.
Life is the dancer and u r the dance.
To create suffering without recognising it - this is the essence of unconscious living.
Watch out for thoughts that appear to justify or explain this unhappiness but in reality cause it. The moment u become aware of a negative state within urself, it does not mean u have failed. It means that u have succeeded.
Until that awareness happens, there is identification with inner states and such identification is ego.
With awareness, come disidentification from thoughts, emotions and reaction. This is not to be confused from denial.
Before u were thoughts, emotions and reactions; and now u r the awareness, the conscious Presence that witness those states.
Soul - d truth is ego will never be happy. Whatever stage I am, it will clamour for more. Well, from now on, I jus go back to my childhood policy - don't worry, be happy.
Afternoon
Great workin wit Regional CFO n also great idea from me to ask for d money back. I m hopeful, I think can get back. Even if April is ok, cos it wld be bonus and especially good since I be working part time.
Also thks to P tellin me abt her friend, I now got idea on how to calculate my pay. Jus go on unpaid leave mode. I will take 2 days off every week that is 104 days. The 104 days wil be used to offset my annual leave of 20 plus 5. Abt 84 after netting of annual leave days n this will be unpaid leave. At time may hav to work so, can reduce to 74 days.
In general, I wil take Thu n Fri off. Only in exceptional case or holiday, I will take Mon to Wed.
But realistically I will need to work full time on certain period.
Mmm, everything is per I wanted. My mind is a wishing tree. Thanks Sadhguru. Thanks Father.
A new earth
Your entire personal history, which is ultimately no more than a story, a bundle of thoughts and emotions, becomes of secondary importance and no longer occupies the forefront of ur consciousness.
It no longer from the basis of ur identity.
You are the light of Presence, the awareness that is prior to and deeper than any thoughts and emotion.
Soul - that be d ultimate. The only thin I can say is that I don't take myself as seriously as before.
A new earth
The stronger the ego in u, the more likely it is that in ur perception, other people are the main source of problems in ur life.
It is also more than likely that you will make life difficult for others. But of course, u won't be able to see that. It is always others who seem to be doing to u.
The more unconscious individual, groups or nations are, the more likely it is that egoic pathology will assume the form of physical violence. Violence is a primitive but widespread way in which the ego attempts to assert itself, to prove itself right and another wrong.
Soul - m concerned abt my nephew. I hav a feeling that he may be a new soul or lack of emotional control. Smart but short fused n even volatile. But aunt said even d little cousins in home town also hav it.
A new earth
Zen - Don't seek the truth. Jus cease to cherish opinions.
Let go of identification wit ur mind. Who u are beyond the mind then emerges by itself.
Those people who work without their ego are extraordinarily succesful at what they do. Anybody who is one with what he or she does is building new earth
In order to attract success, u need to welcome it wherebver u see it.
Father, jus now ego says u see, quit n now not sure. Then I replied, m quitting so that I can hav 'work' after retirement. For sure d office work will stop at 55 but coaching, website and writing can continue.
Ego is pushing me to do more on new career. Well, let me focus on d veg and budget cos by then it will be samyama.
A new earth
When u r in a negative state, there is something in u that wants the negativity, that perceives it as pleasurable or that believes it will get u what u want. Otherwise, why hang on to negativity and make urself and others miserable.
If in d midst of negativity, u r able to realise "At this moment, I am creating suffering for myself", it will be enough to raise u above the limitations of conditioned ego states and reaction.
You will be free to let go of ur unhappiness the moment u recognise it as unintelligent.
Soul - I recall even at very young age, primary school. Whenever I lost something (which is quite often), I decided I won't go and worry abt it instead let it come cos even then I told myself unless d worry will get me my goods, why bother. Why don't I just continue my day like usual. Why be unhappy unnecessarily.
Quite amazing for such a young age.
Jus chk C's sms on me behaving like INTP - Architect - Yr passion is Finding Knowledge and Competence
A new earth
The ego may be clever, but it is not intelligent.
Cleverness pursues its own little aims.
Intelligence sees the larger whole in which all thing are connected.
Cleverness divides; intelligence includes.
Soul - I wasn't being clever, but was intelligent. I didn't realise there is a difference between clever and intelligent.
A new earth.
Impatience, nervousness, fed up, irritation, discontentment - background unhappiness that is many people's predominant inner state.
You need to be extremely alert n present to be able to detect them. Whenever u do, it is a moment of awakening, of disidentification from the mind.
Thoughts behind d background negativity.
"There is something that needs to happen in my life before I am at peace. And I resent that it hasn't happen yet. Maybe my resentment will make it happen"
"Something happened in the past that should not have happen and I resent that. If that hadn't happened, I would be at peace now.
"Something is happening now that should not be happening and it is preventing me from being at peace now"
Soul - mmm, I will be alert on this background negativity.
I m judging myself. I am the happiest n most at peace period in my life. I am finally liberated part time from workforce. I have revamped the whole admin and yet why I still feel not that happy.
Perhaps is becos m more sensitive and is aware. The foreground negativity is gone but background remain.
I am also surprised that m still not liking PA. I m jus payin her lip service, but she keep on coming. Why can't be symphatetic, loving. Aiyah she got 500k.
Also judging myself for being nervous abt d budget.
I was so happy when I quit, happier still when I got part time, even happier abd d website and coaching and now still abv ave happy but much lower.
Why I can stil yo yo, although yo yo is narrower but I wonder how to go beyond it.
A new earth
How to be at peace? By making peace with the present moment.
Life is the dancer and u r the dance.
To create suffering without recognising it - this is the essence of unconscious living.
Watch out for thoughts that appear to justify or explain this unhappiness but in reality cause it. The moment u become aware of a negative state within urself, it does not mean u have failed. It means that u have succeeded.
Until that awareness happens, there is identification with inner states and such identification is ego.
With awareness, come disidentification from thoughts, emotions and reaction. This is not to be confused from denial.
Before u were thoughts, emotions and reactions; and now u r the awareness, the conscious Presence that witness those states.
Soul - d truth is ego will never be happy. Whatever stage I am, it will clamour for more. Well, from now on, I jus go back to my childhood policy - don't worry, be happy.
Afternoon
Great workin wit Regional CFO n also great idea from me to ask for d money back. I m hopeful, I think can get back. Even if April is ok, cos it wld be bonus and especially good since I be working part time.
Also thks to P tellin me abt her friend, I now got idea on how to calculate my pay. Jus go on unpaid leave mode. I will take 2 days off every week that is 104 days. The 104 days wil be used to offset my annual leave of 20 plus 5. Abt 84 after netting of annual leave days n this will be unpaid leave. At time may hav to work so, can reduce to 74 days.
In general, I wil take Thu n Fri off. Only in exceptional case or holiday, I will take Mon to Wed.
But realistically I will need to work full time on certain period.
Mmm, everything is per I wanted. My mind is a wishing tree. Thanks Sadhguru. Thanks Father.
A new earth
Your entire personal history, which is ultimately no more than a story, a bundle of thoughts and emotions, becomes of secondary importance and no longer occupies the forefront of ur consciousness.
It no longer from the basis of ur identity.
You are the light of Presence, the awareness that is prior to and deeper than any thoughts and emotion.
Soul - that be d ultimate. The only thin I can say is that I don't take myself as seriously as before.
A new earth
The stronger the ego in u, the more likely it is that in ur perception, other people are the main source of problems in ur life.
It is also more than likely that you will make life difficult for others. But of course, u won't be able to see that. It is always others who seem to be doing to u.
The more unconscious individual, groups or nations are, the more likely it is that egoic pathology will assume the form of physical violence. Violence is a primitive but widespread way in which the ego attempts to assert itself, to prove itself right and another wrong.
Soul - m concerned abt my nephew. I hav a feeling that he may be a new soul or lack of emotional control. Smart but short fused n even volatile. But aunt said even d little cousins in home town also hav it.
A new earth
Zen - Don't seek the truth. Jus cease to cherish opinions.
Let go of identification wit ur mind. Who u are beyond the mind then emerges by itself.
Those people who work without their ego are extraordinarily succesful at what they do. Anybody who is one with what he or she does is building new earth
In order to attract success, u need to welcome it wherebver u see it.
Thinking results in emotion
Jan 4
Father, when I was meditating, I tot I am not equipped to handle feeler. My nephew is one of them. I used to think that Feeler cannot self-help and becos I don't have time and also m impatient, I don't want to help them. But perhaps d better word is I cannot help them. Feeler form more than 60 percent of d population. So, aren't I limiting myself.
Perhaps my nephew is to teach me something.
Anyway, good thing that I asked Cn who is a feeler to be my sidekick.
A new earth
When u play roles, u r unconscious. When u catch urself playing a role, that recognition creates a space between u and the role.
When u r completely identified wit a role, u confuse a pattern of behaviour with who u are and u take urself very seriously. You also automatically assign roles to others that correspond to u. Eg - doctor see patient/case history n not a human being. Or staff speaking to CEO or janitor (lacked d sameness of bearing before all human beings). So u r not relating authentically.
Soul - apart from role of a coach, I also play d following role
1. Thinker
2. Gourmet
3. No housework and etc
We'll, in terms of authenticity, I think I am or perhaps m not bothered abt what others think or perhaps this cld be my superiority complex.
A new earth
Be aware that what u think, to a large extent, creates the emotion that u feel. See the link between ur thinking and ur emotion. Rather, than being ur tots and emotions, be the awareness.
Soul - this seem to indicate that Thinkers r slow to react n Feeler are fast.
A new earth
Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is, rather than making up stories about it.
Unhappiness covers up ur natural state of well-being and inner peace, the source of true happiness.
Soul - we'll, that explain why m moving towards my passion.
A new earth
If there is awareness in you, u no longer need to believe in every tot u think.
It is an old thought, no more.
Awareness means Presence, and only Presence can dissolve the unconscious past in u.
The more shared past there is in a relationship, the more present u need to be; otherwise; u will be forced to relive the past again and again.
If there is no suffering, human being would not evolve and would remain shallow, identified with the external form of things.
Suffering drives u deeper.
The paradox is that suffering is caused by identification wit form and erodes identification with form.
A lof of suffering is caused by the ego, although eventually suffering destroys the ego - but not until you suffer consciously.
Soul - that's what I meant by suffering is blessing, name of my blog.
A new earth
Human being is destined to go beyond suffering, but not in the way ego thinks - I shld not hav to suffer.
Suffering has a noble purppse; the evolution of consciousness and the burning up of the ego.
As long as u resist suffering, it is a slow process because the resistance creates more ego to burn up. When u accept suffering, there is an acceleration of that process which is brought about by the fact that u sufferr consciously.
The ego says,"I shouldn't have to suffer" and that thought make u suffer so much more.
It is a distortion of the truth, which is always paradoxical.
The truth is that u need to say yes to suffering before u can transcend it.
Soul - amen
Osho transformation
1. Issue - wishful thinking - everything created by my own tots. . I am wholly responsible. Its up to me to stop creating. Retirement of mind is meditation.
2. External event - Failure -
When it is morning, it is morning. When its evening, it is evening. There is no question of choice.
Things happen when they are needed to happen.
All goes well - jus Trust. God's goal is ur goal, his destiny is ur destiny.
Sense the cosmic spirit, the Tao, the law that permeates the whole existence - out of which u are born and to which one day u will return.
Soul - I guess m worried. I was happy for 3 days n I tot it was early retirement, jus dabbling here n there like Benjamin.
Now that I know there is a professional change, I start to feel d challenge.
Earlier, I tot I can start dabbling after I quit and now I start to feel pressured to make choices.
Aiyah, jus relax lah n savour d veg period.
Ego never ending. Earlier gav me hard time on veg and now that I m sure, it tells me on d career. Just rest lah.
3. Seed of transformation
Gates of heaven -
Heaven and hell are not geographical, they are psychological. It is a moment to moent question to ur mind.
Whenever u r conscious, u act wit full awareness, u r in heaven.
Soul - yeap to be aware.
4. A new level of understanding.
Jus state the fact, don't think of anything as a curse or blessing. Don't interpret/judge, and suddenly u will see everything is beautiful.
Soul - at first tot 3 days is great n now worried if I m able to fulfill d 2 days, can I make something of it.
Aiyah, jus go back to original lah. Don't give myself pressure. Jus savour my 2 off days.
5. Key to integration
Play.
Your mind goes on playunbg infinitely. While meditating, one has to look at the mind jus frolicking, jus like children playun and jumping out of overflowing energy, that's all.
Don't take ur tots seriously. Don't feel guilty of bad tot. And don't get too much ego of good tot, u wanting to transform the whole world, bringing heaven to earth.
U don't think abt what will happen in the end, jus be here and now. U shld not carry d results.
Soul - my case is I felt I oversaid. Not sure if I can fulfill. Now felt small cos I always wan people to say what they do, cannot go back even if its pains them.
Not sure if I can do. Not sure If I can pass. Now like loudmouth.
Now worried on why I take 2 days off. Got, so contradictory.
Father, long transformation cards, m not so sure if I interpret d right message.
A new earth
U r a human being. What does that mean? Mastery of life is not a question of control, but of finding a balance between human and Being.
Why does ego play roles? Becos of one unconscious tot; I need to play a role in order to get what I need to be fully myself.
I need to get more so that I can be more.
In form, u will alway be to some, inferior or superior to others. In essence u r niether.
In d eyes of d ego, self esteem and humility are contractidory. In truth, they atre one and the same.
Soul - perhaps this is d issue, am I going to make myself out of the 2 days of off.
My pay is cut, self esteem also cut. Doesn't help when small aunt and mother said they think it is wasteful m not working.
Father, when I was meditating, I tot I am not equipped to handle feeler. My nephew is one of them. I used to think that Feeler cannot self-help and becos I don't have time and also m impatient, I don't want to help them. But perhaps d better word is I cannot help them. Feeler form more than 60 percent of d population. So, aren't I limiting myself.
Perhaps my nephew is to teach me something.
Anyway, good thing that I asked Cn who is a feeler to be my sidekick.
A new earth
When u play roles, u r unconscious. When u catch urself playing a role, that recognition creates a space between u and the role.
When u r completely identified wit a role, u confuse a pattern of behaviour with who u are and u take urself very seriously. You also automatically assign roles to others that correspond to u. Eg - doctor see patient/case history n not a human being. Or staff speaking to CEO or janitor (lacked d sameness of bearing before all human beings). So u r not relating authentically.
Soul - apart from role of a coach, I also play d following role
1. Thinker
2. Gourmet
3. No housework and etc
We'll, in terms of authenticity, I think I am or perhaps m not bothered abt what others think or perhaps this cld be my superiority complex.
A new earth
Be aware that what u think, to a large extent, creates the emotion that u feel. See the link between ur thinking and ur emotion. Rather, than being ur tots and emotions, be the awareness.
Soul - this seem to indicate that Thinkers r slow to react n Feeler are fast.
A new earth
Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is, rather than making up stories about it.
Unhappiness covers up ur natural state of well-being and inner peace, the source of true happiness.
Soul - we'll, that explain why m moving towards my passion.
A new earth
If there is awareness in you, u no longer need to believe in every tot u think.
It is an old thought, no more.
Awareness means Presence, and only Presence can dissolve the unconscious past in u.
The more shared past there is in a relationship, the more present u need to be; otherwise; u will be forced to relive the past again and again.
If there is no suffering, human being would not evolve and would remain shallow, identified with the external form of things.
Suffering drives u deeper.
The paradox is that suffering is caused by identification wit form and erodes identification with form.
A lof of suffering is caused by the ego, although eventually suffering destroys the ego - but not until you suffer consciously.
Soul - that's what I meant by suffering is blessing, name of my blog.
A new earth
Human being is destined to go beyond suffering, but not in the way ego thinks - I shld not hav to suffer.
Suffering has a noble purppse; the evolution of consciousness and the burning up of the ego.
As long as u resist suffering, it is a slow process because the resistance creates more ego to burn up. When u accept suffering, there is an acceleration of that process which is brought about by the fact that u sufferr consciously.
The ego says,"I shouldn't have to suffer" and that thought make u suffer so much more.
It is a distortion of the truth, which is always paradoxical.
The truth is that u need to say yes to suffering before u can transcend it.
Soul - amen
Osho transformation
1. Issue - wishful thinking - everything created by my own tots. . I am wholly responsible. Its up to me to stop creating. Retirement of mind is meditation.
2. External event - Failure -
When it is morning, it is morning. When its evening, it is evening. There is no question of choice.
Things happen when they are needed to happen.
All goes well - jus Trust. God's goal is ur goal, his destiny is ur destiny.
Sense the cosmic spirit, the Tao, the law that permeates the whole existence - out of which u are born and to which one day u will return.
Soul - I guess m worried. I was happy for 3 days n I tot it was early retirement, jus dabbling here n there like Benjamin.
Now that I know there is a professional change, I start to feel d challenge.
Earlier, I tot I can start dabbling after I quit and now I start to feel pressured to make choices.
Aiyah, jus relax lah n savour d veg period.
Ego never ending. Earlier gav me hard time on veg and now that I m sure, it tells me on d career. Just rest lah.
3. Seed of transformation
Gates of heaven -
Heaven and hell are not geographical, they are psychological. It is a moment to moent question to ur mind.
Whenever u r conscious, u act wit full awareness, u r in heaven.
Soul - yeap to be aware.
4. A new level of understanding.
Jus state the fact, don't think of anything as a curse or blessing. Don't interpret/judge, and suddenly u will see everything is beautiful.
Soul - at first tot 3 days is great n now worried if I m able to fulfill d 2 days, can I make something of it.
Aiyah, jus go back to original lah. Don't give myself pressure. Jus savour my 2 off days.
5. Key to integration
Play.
Your mind goes on playunbg infinitely. While meditating, one has to look at the mind jus frolicking, jus like children playun and jumping out of overflowing energy, that's all.
Don't take ur tots seriously. Don't feel guilty of bad tot. And don't get too much ego of good tot, u wanting to transform the whole world, bringing heaven to earth.
U don't think abt what will happen in the end, jus be here and now. U shld not carry d results.
Soul - my case is I felt I oversaid. Not sure if I can fulfill. Now felt small cos I always wan people to say what they do, cannot go back even if its pains them.
Not sure if I can do. Not sure If I can pass. Now like loudmouth.
Now worried on why I take 2 days off. Got, so contradictory.
Father, long transformation cards, m not so sure if I interpret d right message.
A new earth
U r a human being. What does that mean? Mastery of life is not a question of control, but of finding a balance between human and Being.
Why does ego play roles? Becos of one unconscious tot; I need to play a role in order to get what I need to be fully myself.
I need to get more so that I can be more.
In form, u will alway be to some, inferior or superior to others. In essence u r niether.
In d eyes of d ego, self esteem and humility are contractidory. In truth, they atre one and the same.
Soul - perhaps this is d issue, am I going to make myself out of the 2 days of off.
My pay is cut, self esteem also cut. Doesn't help when small aunt and mother said they think it is wasteful m not working.
Being spiritual is knowing what i feel and think is NOT my Self
Jan 3
Soul - jus now I jus let my nephew knock his head. I wanted to teach him that throwing tantrum by knocking his head only serves to hurt himself and can't get what he want. But mom n brother said he is only a child n I shldnt let him hurt himself. Am I on d right track? Or I was acting from ego.
I m also apprehensive of d budget period ahead n wonder if I can pull thru d veg. Actually, on veg, m no longer so worried. Like P said, instead of focus on loss, focus on gain loh. And I have my fill for the past 2 mths n infact put on some weight that I know will be lost when I go on veg.
As for d new career, also slightly worry whether it wld take off.
But m fine, wit d meditation.
A new earth
Spiritual realisation is to see clearly that what I perceive, experience, think or feel is ultimately not who I am, that I cannot find myself in all those things that continuously pass away.
When I know myself as that, whatever happens in my life is no longer of absolute but only of relative importance. I honor it, but it loses its absolute seriousness, its heaviness.
The only thing that ultimately matters. Can I sense my essential Being, in d background at all time? Or am I losing myself in what happens, losing myself in the mind, in the world?
Soul - I only fear I lost my Self n didn't fight for my Passion. Didn't transform towards my Destiny.
A new earth
Whenever u feel superior or inferior to anyone, that's the ego in u.
Some egos, if they cannot get praise or admiration, will seek negative attention instead by provoking a negative reaction in someone else.
What really matters is not what function u fulfill in this world, but whether u identify wit ur function to such an extent that it takes u over and becomes a role that u play.
Soul - Father, perhaps I was playing my role as a coach wit my nephew. Actually, not sure I m a coach, cos I believe most people need to suffer before they come to their senses. They will seek awareness only when d pain is too much.
Soul - jus read Sadhguru's poem
Divine sensation blaze dim beings into beings of light, the joyless into blissful, raise cowards into the realm of the fearlessness.
For the one who has known these Divine sensation of Dhyanalinga, the glories of life will play at his feet.
I 'quit' my job (but was offered part time) n eat 40 days no meat/no coffee/no dessert. This is stripping my life long pleasure, one of d main method I love myself and others loving me. So, I was worried that since I cannot give love to myself n wit this heavy budget period. Not sure if I can cope. Well I can.
Soul - jus now I jus let my nephew knock his head. I wanted to teach him that throwing tantrum by knocking his head only serves to hurt himself and can't get what he want. But mom n brother said he is only a child n I shldnt let him hurt himself. Am I on d right track? Or I was acting from ego.
I m also apprehensive of d budget period ahead n wonder if I can pull thru d veg. Actually, on veg, m no longer so worried. Like P said, instead of focus on loss, focus on gain loh. And I have my fill for the past 2 mths n infact put on some weight that I know will be lost when I go on veg.
As for d new career, also slightly worry whether it wld take off.
But m fine, wit d meditation.
A new earth
Spiritual realisation is to see clearly that what I perceive, experience, think or feel is ultimately not who I am, that I cannot find myself in all those things that continuously pass away.
When I know myself as that, whatever happens in my life is no longer of absolute but only of relative importance. I honor it, but it loses its absolute seriousness, its heaviness.
The only thing that ultimately matters. Can I sense my essential Being, in d background at all time? Or am I losing myself in what happens, losing myself in the mind, in the world?
Soul - I only fear I lost my Self n didn't fight for my Passion. Didn't transform towards my Destiny.
A new earth
Whenever u feel superior or inferior to anyone, that's the ego in u.
Some egos, if they cannot get praise or admiration, will seek negative attention instead by provoking a negative reaction in someone else.
What really matters is not what function u fulfill in this world, but whether u identify wit ur function to such an extent that it takes u over and becomes a role that u play.
Soul - Father, perhaps I was playing my role as a coach wit my nephew. Actually, not sure I m a coach, cos I believe most people need to suffer before they come to their senses. They will seek awareness only when d pain is too much.
Soul - jus read Sadhguru's poem
Divine sensation blaze dim beings into beings of light, the joyless into blissful, raise cowards into the realm of the fearlessness.
For the one who has known these Divine sensation of Dhyanalinga, the glories of life will play at his feet.
I 'quit' my job (but was offered part time) n eat 40 days no meat/no coffee/no dessert. This is stripping my life long pleasure, one of d main method I love myself and others loving me. So, I was worried that since I cannot give love to myself n wit this heavy budget period. Not sure if I can cope. Well I can.
Non reaction to the ego in others is equivalent to forgiveness
Jan 2
A new earth
Non-reaction to the ego in others is one of the most effective ways not only of going beyond ego in yourself but also of dissolving the collective human ego.
But u can only be in state of non-reaction if u can recognise someone's behaviour as coming from the ego, as being an expression of the collective human dysfunction.
When u realise it is not personal, there is no longer compulsion to.
react as if it were.
By not reacting to the ego, u will often be able to bring out the sanity in others, which is the unconditioned as opposed to the conditioned.
At times, u may hav to take practical steps to to protect urself from deeply unconscious people.
Soul - true. Thanks to my auto self control n delayed feeling and coupled wit my knowledge in psychology, I hav been able to do that. Now, I am learnin to Act.
A new earth
Non reactuin is not weakness but strength. Another word for non-reaction is forgiveness. To forgive is to overlook, or rather to look through. You look through the ego to the sanity that is in every human being as his or her essence.
In the background, there is the awareness. In the foreground, there is the voice, the thinker. In this way you are becoming free of the ego, free of the unobserved mind. The moment u become aware of the ego in u, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness.
Awareness and ego cannot coexist together.
Soul - m learning and applying day by day.
This mornin, I woke up a few times from 6 am onward, then at 7 am, I woke up afreshed n decided to do meditation since I know that there is a spare room.
A new earth
Whereas resentment is often the emotion that goes on complaining, it may also be accompanied by a stronger emotion such as anger or some other form of upset and hence it becomes more highly charged energitically.
Complaining then turns into reactivity, another of the ego's way of strengthening itself.
There are many people who are always waiting for the next thing to react against, to feel annoyed or disturbed .... and it never takes long before they fund it. They r addicted to upset and anger as others are to a drug. Through reacting against this or that they assert and strengthen their feeling of self.
Soul - mmm, very logical. By why they want to feel 'bad' instead of 'good'.
A new earth
A long standing resentment is called a grievance. To carry a grievance is to be in a permanent state of "against".
Don't try to let go of the grievance. Trying to let go, to forgive, does not work. Forgiveness happens naturally when u see that it has not purpose other than to strengthen a false sense of self, to keep the ego in place.
Soul - I suddenly tot of my grieve against God. Always putting me thru challenges, having to prove myself over and over again, making me feel unloved.
A new earth
When u complain, by implication u r right and the person/situation u complain abt or react against is wrong.
Nothing strengthen the ego more than being right. For u to be right, of course, u need someone else to be wrong.
Ego takes everything personally. Emotion arises, defensiveness, perhaps even aggression. At u defending truth or urself? Truth, does not need defense.
Every ego is a master of selective perception and distorted interpretation.
Only through awareness - not through thinking - can u differentiate between fact and opinion.
Only through awareness, are u able to see the totality of the situation or person instead of adopting one limited perspective.
Soul - due to my inherent self control and my cultivated knowledge and experience in meditation. I am more aware.
A new earth
The particular egoic patterns that u react to most strongly in others and misperceive as their identiy, tend to be the same patterns that are also in u, but u r unable or unwilling to detect within urself.
Anytthing that u resent and strongly react to in another is also in u.
Soul - what did I find irritatin in PA the gall of her sayin she is my guru, forcing me to 'confront'?
A new earth
Whatever u fight, n u strengthen, and what u resist, persists.
Spiritual realisation is to see clearly that what I perceive, experience, think or fee is ultimately NOT who I am, that I cannot find myself in all those things that continuously pass away.
A new earth
Non-reaction to the ego in others is one of the most effective ways not only of going beyond ego in yourself but also of dissolving the collective human ego.
But u can only be in state of non-reaction if u can recognise someone's behaviour as coming from the ego, as being an expression of the collective human dysfunction.
When u realise it is not personal, there is no longer compulsion to.
react as if it were.
By not reacting to the ego, u will often be able to bring out the sanity in others, which is the unconditioned as opposed to the conditioned.
At times, u may hav to take practical steps to to protect urself from deeply unconscious people.
Soul - true. Thanks to my auto self control n delayed feeling and coupled wit my knowledge in psychology, I hav been able to do that. Now, I am learnin to Act.
A new earth
Non reactuin is not weakness but strength. Another word for non-reaction is forgiveness. To forgive is to overlook, or rather to look through. You look through the ego to the sanity that is in every human being as his or her essence.
In the background, there is the awareness. In the foreground, there is the voice, the thinker. In this way you are becoming free of the ego, free of the unobserved mind. The moment u become aware of the ego in u, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness.
Awareness and ego cannot coexist together.
Soul - m learning and applying day by day.
This mornin, I woke up a few times from 6 am onward, then at 7 am, I woke up afreshed n decided to do meditation since I know that there is a spare room.
A new earth
Whereas resentment is often the emotion that goes on complaining, it may also be accompanied by a stronger emotion such as anger or some other form of upset and hence it becomes more highly charged energitically.
Complaining then turns into reactivity, another of the ego's way of strengthening itself.
There are many people who are always waiting for the next thing to react against, to feel annoyed or disturbed .... and it never takes long before they fund it. They r addicted to upset and anger as others are to a drug. Through reacting against this or that they assert and strengthen their feeling of self.
Soul - mmm, very logical. By why they want to feel 'bad' instead of 'good'.
A new earth
A long standing resentment is called a grievance. To carry a grievance is to be in a permanent state of "against".
Don't try to let go of the grievance. Trying to let go, to forgive, does not work. Forgiveness happens naturally when u see that it has not purpose other than to strengthen a false sense of self, to keep the ego in place.
Soul - I suddenly tot of my grieve against God. Always putting me thru challenges, having to prove myself over and over again, making me feel unloved.
A new earth
When u complain, by implication u r right and the person/situation u complain abt or react against is wrong.
Nothing strengthen the ego more than being right. For u to be right, of course, u need someone else to be wrong.
Ego takes everything personally. Emotion arises, defensiveness, perhaps even aggression. At u defending truth or urself? Truth, does not need defense.
Every ego is a master of selective perception and distorted interpretation.
Only through awareness - not through thinking - can u differentiate between fact and opinion.
Only through awareness, are u able to see the totality of the situation or person instead of adopting one limited perspective.
Soul - due to my inherent self control and my cultivated knowledge and experience in meditation. I am more aware.
A new earth
The particular egoic patterns that u react to most strongly in others and misperceive as their identiy, tend to be the same patterns that are also in u, but u r unable or unwilling to detect within urself.
Anytthing that u resent and strongly react to in another is also in u.
Soul - what did I find irritatin in PA the gall of her sayin she is my guru, forcing me to 'confront'?
A new earth
Whatever u fight, n u strengthen, and what u resist, persists.
Spiritual realisation is to see clearly that what I perceive, experience, think or fee is ultimately NOT who I am, that I cannot find myself in all those things that continuously pass away.
Ego - part 2
Jan 1
A new earth
Ego contains personal identification, not only wit possessions, but also wit opinions, external appearance, long-standing resentments, or concept of urself as better than or not as good as others, as success or failure.
In everyone, egos only differ on the surface. Deep down, they are all d same, live on identification and separation.
At one end of d scale of this unconscious egoic pattern lies d egoic compulsive habit of faultfinding and complaining about others. At the other, physical violence between individual and warfare between countries.
When I criticise or condemn another, it makes me feel bigger, superior.
Complaining is one of ego's favourite strategies for strengthening itself.
The ego loves to complain and feel resentfyl not only about other people, but also abt situations: ie this should not be happening.
A new earth
Ego contains personal identification, not only wit possessions, but also wit opinions, external appearance, long-standing resentments, or concept of urself as better than or not as good as others, as success or failure.
In everyone, egos only differ on the surface. Deep down, they are all d same, live on identification and separation.
At one end of d scale of this unconscious egoic pattern lies d egoic compulsive habit of faultfinding and complaining about others. At the other, physical violence between individual and warfare between countries.
When I criticise or condemn another, it makes me feel bigger, superior.
Complaining is one of ego's favourite strategies for strengthening itself.
The ego loves to complain and feel resentfyl not only about other people, but also abt situations: ie this should not be happening.
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