Awesome Sathsang

May 10

Father, awesome Sathsang.
Shambavi was just okay cos I was distracted with the heat as Aircond not working well. Brahmananda was okay.

As I heard all their sharing of BSP volunteering; my mind said you missed it.

In the video, first question is breakthrough in sadhana; different timing for different people. The second question on gaining respect. Sadhguru said why need respect. U only need respect from others when u feel incomplete within. If you feel complete, u no longer need respect from others
Then watching the video I asked Sadhguru whats my breakthrough; a answer came - u let go of leading volunteering so the group can flourish. That's my breakthrough I let go. It's not that I don't care I do care but we each better off without me. A sense of peace fell over me.

When we did Special meditation on love and rship; I had no expectation. And I first start with tots of peaceful rship with my elder brother. Want to see okay that he is not paying anything for his permanent stay in my house.
Then Sadhguru said visualise a person or situation where I felt most loved. And immediately tot of Sadhguru loving me with Sannidhi. I feel a flow of love. And then Sadhguru I can now give the love to others. And that's exactly my Sannidhi vow; of giving love, peace and jog to the world. Love flow in me. Love flow and tears flow due to overwhelming gratitude. I hug a couple of persons. I feel love reaching out.

After Sathsang ended I chat with some 'babies'. Later I felt hungry and friends in volunteer meet. For the past few months I felt left out.
Today I just felt that it was a choice I made of let go. I no longer need to hold on to get respect; to get validation. I m clear enough that I can no longer pay the price for validation.
So I left them happily and ate dinner on my own. I felt freed alas. No longer need to rely in others. Suddenly a tot came "Aloneness path" not only in romantic rship but also group rship.

A tot came. Breakthrough in 30 plus years of leisure breakfast. I started my leisure breakfast routine since college.