Closure on Z came from another source

Jul 6
Yesterday sharing by my meditator friend on her previous rship experience was great.
She shared about the inability of the guy to have direct confrontation, and they will never give a proper closure. Her stories were quite dramatic and she even had a nervous breakdown. The case also involves the guy getting married without telling her.

So she said don't take it personally that my ex boyfriend didnt give me a closure. She also said that the men are able to compartmentalise and would have not think anything wrong of being with me and yet planning a marriage with another woman. She said for man, they hold the woman they married in higher regards over their other women. For man, they only release their sperm so, no attachment. For women, we received the sperm into our womb and hence we normally bonded and see the man as our husband. That's why we are attached and difficult in letting go. For the man, since they are not attached, they don't have any problem.
Finally, there be no closure from them. And the man's marriage to another woman is a closure.

I couldn't sleep for about half an hour. I then switched on Sadhguru Brahmananda cd and I was sleeping by 4th song. Normally I am asleep by first song. I slept around two hour plus before wake up for early morning flight.

In her case her stories were even more drastic, actually mine pale in comparison. And yet, she said the stories made her grown. Father, thanks for sending her and sharing the stories. I told her then my version is not personal. I had judged myself. Can now truly let go of the judgement.

The Power of Now
U will observe that the future is usually imagined as either better or worst than the present. If the imagined future is better, it gives u hope or pleasurable anticipation. If it worse, it creates anxiety. Both are illusory.

Soul
I have now reach that stage of doubting my mind. It's all extrapolation. In my case, since my past is hurt, the mind tend to project into worse situation resulting in sadness.

The Power of Now
With the timeless dimension, comes a different kind of knowing, one that does not "kill" the spirit that lives within every creature and everything. A knowing that does not destroy the sacredness and mystery of life but contains a deep love and reverence for all that is. A knowing of which mind knows nothing.

Soul
That's my experience of being connected with nature.
I have decided to increase my walks to 3 days.
I plan to go Kailash next year.
I am ready. I m no longer afraid of my joints pain, I know the mountain will carry me.

The Power of Now
The moment u realise u r not in present, u r present. Whenever u are able to observe ur mind, u r no longer trapped in it. Another factor has come in, something that is not of the mind: the witnessing presence.
Don't judge or analyse what u observe. Watch the tot, feel the reaction, observe the reaction. Don't make personal problem out of it. U will then feel something more powerful than any of those things u observe : the still, observing presence itself behind the content of ur mind, the silent observer.

Soul
Of late I noticed I can now do Samyama while driving.
Definitely go for Samyama.

The Power of Now
The reaction or emotion took u over. U "become" it. U act it out. U justify, make wrong, attack, defend ... except that it isn't you, the mind in its habitual survival mode.