My journey has always been to search for my True Self

Jul 21 eve
Father, a good day.
Had a nice outing searching for venue.
I brought the Destiny book along so we can have something to chat during breaks.  L looked at me. For a moment I feel judged. An hour later I remembered her cards. Wish I can be like her, so focused, not easily influenced. Father, while I m not easily influenced but I can be swayed cos staying open. And I m affected by how others view me. Guess that's my control issue. I control myself in order not to trigger validation. And I should know by now that is a losing battle as everyone values are different. And if there is one lesson I can learn from the break up between Z and I; is our difference in values. He stick to his values whereas I fluctuate. So what I can't do he has done. So thanks to him, my values are retained. Very little tots of Z today. He is the past.

Osho
Each person is different, unique and incomparable. There is no way to compare u with any other person in the whole world. U are like u; u are u. Never a person like u has happened in the long past of mankind and never one like u going to happen in future.
Therefore if u deny ur individuality and try to follow somebody else, u r violating the fundamental law of life.

Soul
Yea. Need to learn that. Instead of using my control to prevent loss of validation. Just be me, whatever that may be.

Today they said A has always been searching since young. And I said so is P. For me I search for myself only; I just want to be the Total me. I didn't search for gurus, enlightenment or etc.

Osho - Krishna
There is only one worthwhile quest in life and that is to know who I am or who u are. Then u will not turn into Krishna-ite, but a traveler on the path to become urself.