Sadguru - growth comes with upheavals

Jun 30 aft
For the past 2 days, I have been listening to Sadhguru Brahmananda cd. I had stopped for a few months. I m back on it. Sleep is peaceful.
Thanks to Sadhguru for the tool

Just picked this up from blog back in Feb 2010
Sadhguru
If one is striving to grow, earthquakes and landslides keep happening in one's life.
Those who are stagnant, who don't grow, their life seems to be stable and steady and looks better. But it's lifeless.
For one who is striving to grow, an enormous amount of upheaval happens in his life.
It takes enormous intelligence for a person to grow without struggle. 99.9% of the people struggle to grow.
Either it takes enormous intelligence or it takes enormous trust.

Soul
Now reading my blog in Feb 2010, just before Samyama.
I truly had a dying time on food. I truly disliked Indian food. I vowed that I would eat even if I cry every time.
And I did cry. The first time was a real loud cry of anguish. The second time I cry again. Then later, I looked around and no one is crying over their food. So, I said what's make me so special. Food is just food, its not me. With that I stop crying on 3rd day.
But I admit it took another 2 visits to ashram in subsequent 2 years  that I finally voluntarily eat in the Bikhsha hall.

Wow!  I did guru pooja on my own after Samyama in Feb 2010. I also started dancing in my practices during Samyama.
I did my Top 5 back in Dec 2009. It hardly changed.
Having coffee and reading/ writing still my Top 5.
I m thankful that I can keep this life style eventhough I only worked 3 days week. I m also thankful I have the time freedom, something I can't have with Z's traditional marriage with children.

I can read the dilemma I had back in early 2010 , not sure which is more fearful; to have a partner or not to have a partner.
Father, at least today in Jun 2013, this moment I m not afraid. I know I want a partner. And I know what type of partner suits me. I know now I cannot compromise on my values.

The Power of Now
Forgiveness of the present is even more important than forgiveness of the past.
If you forgive every moment - allow it to be as it is - then there will be no accumulation of resentment that needs to be forgiven at some later time.
Remember, we are not talking abt happiness. We are talking abt inner peace.
Happiness depends on conditions being perceived as positive; inner peace does not.

There may be sadness and tears, but provided you have relinquished resistance, underneath the sadness you will feel a deep security, a stillness, a sacred presence. This is the emanation of Being, this is inner peace, the good that has no opposite.


The Power of Now
When a condition or situation that the mind has attached itself to and identified with, changes or disappears, the mind cannot accept it. It will cling to the disappearing condition and resist the change. It is almost as if a limb were being torn off your body.
There are cycles of success, when things come to you and thrive, and cycles of failure, when they wither or disintegrate and you have to let them go in order to make room for new things to arise, or for transformation to happen.
If you cling and resist at that point, it means you are refusing to with the flow of life and you will suffer.
Dissolution is needed for new growth to happen. One cannot exist without the other.
The down cycle is absolutely essential for spiritual realisation.


Soul
Thanks for the answer why I hold on for so long.
When he first did the break up back in last year July, I lost my career, so I hold on.
Then the last break up is when I lost my food, so I hold on.
Guess, the mind refuses for me to let go of Z..the fight continues for so long.
Finally it was time..
This is so true for my Neptune period, Five of Diamonds in Ruling and Queen of Spades in Destiny.
Father, Thank You so much.
I feel settled within.


The Power of Now
This is not being negative. It is simply recognising the nature of things so that you don't pursue an illusion for the rest of your life. Nor is it saying that you shld no longer appreciate pleasant or beautiful things/condition. But to seek something through them that they cannot give - an identity, a sense of permanence and fulfillment is a recipe for frustration and suffering.
Things and conditions can give you pleasure, but they will also give you pain.
Things and condition can give you pleasure, but they cannot give you joy, the joy of Being.
It is an essential part of the inner state of peace, the state that has been called the peace of God. It is your natural state, not something that you need to work hard for or struggle to attain.

Soul
Yes, thats what i want to remember.
I wrote this back in Mar 2010 - my inner journey..my seeking
Very appropriate for my this week Osho card (external influence) -  Intensity

Soul (Mar 2010)
I was seeking, doing, discovering, uncovering my unconsciousness.
I always felt alone, no one could understand my intensity. I seek endlessly cos I want to be the master of my life, I don't wan to lead my life unconsciously, without my knowledge.
They thought I was too depressing at times, they thought I was going inward too much, they asked me to come out.
How can I come out to face the world when I don't know what's in me.
Yea, it was fear that drove me. But alas the doors are all open, am conscious now.
I am dissolving. I can now access the subtleness of nature, of music, of body movement.

Soul (Jun 2013)
It has been three years.
Father, I truly have encountered a dimension beyond my mind.
Everyday I faced it during my practices.
I now only need to bring it back on.
I finally understand what it meant by going beyond the mind.

The Power of Now.
Whenever you notice that some form of negativity has arisen within you, look on it, not as a failure but as a helpful signal that is telling you; "Wake up. Get out of your mind. Be present "

Soul
Finally time to practice my Samyama real time.

The Power of Now
Because the mind holds the unconscious belief that its resistance, which you experience as negativity or unhappiness in some form, will somehow dissolve the undesirable condition.
This, of course, is a delusion.
The resistance that it creates, the irritation or anger may be far more disturbing than then original cause that it is attempting to dissolve.

Soul
I know it is false.
That is why nowadays I don't listen.
I said I want win win illusion at least.