Mind only knows how to compare

Jul 20
Father, thank u.
I had a dream this morning that I was still with Z. Alas that is just a dream. Woke up bit late. Been feeling sleepy since I got back from Ashram.
Skip my one cycle of Surya Kriya and proceed to breathe meditation. Somehow I was also looking at my tots too.
Shakti was ok and I only did a slight rest. Have to build up my Shakti again. Shambavi was fine and again arashidharna posture from onset of Suka kriya. Somehow it can happen. Had a good rests.
During the practices some tot of Z but I just let it.

Went for my swim. Been about 2 weeks since my swim. Mind tell me I be out of breathe. When I did my breast stroke, half way thru, mind asked me to stop but I ignored it and just follow my body. We swam till the end. As I continue, swim got better. It's funny that my breathe becomes more steady.  I was laughing bit and singing loads in the pool; just like in Teetakhoon.
I am able to swim consistently.

I know today I m feeling down. My mind is working out negative tots and i dont want to go there. Just now called P but she is not available. I told myself just appreciate my freedom. Savour my aloneness.

Just checked my card today - Jack of Diamonds, Z's Ruling card.  No wonder my tots on him today.

Checked out my Osho tarot
Comparison
The idea of two plants comparing themselves to each other seems ridiculous but we humans seem to find this habit very hard to break. Lets face it, there is always going to be somebody who is more beautiful, more talented, stronger, more intelligent or apparently happier than u are. And conversely there will always be those who are less than u in all these ways.
The way to find out who u are is not by comparing yourself with others but by looking to see whether u are fulfilling ur potential in the best way u know.

Soul
Amen.
Just wrote a story on this.
Updated my Stories in joyong.org
I am just going to upload it raw, without being edit.
This saves time and money instead of waiting for my freelancer editor to do it for me.
I can now do all my Stories with ease.
Once I have written enough Stories, I will then compile them into books.
Only then I will get it for full edit.
Meanwhile, I can continue with my writing while the freelance editors edit my books.