Feeling down

Dec 29
Father, yday n today very little laughter during meditation. And I find myself approaching it wit discipline. But it is still welcoming.
Thanks for sending the FD. Little did I know I wld get to know abt oversea's colleague's courage n FD's taking life coach course. She has a 5 diamond wit a 7 diamond, good for biz n she also has a control feature like me. But she is very determined. While m not determine, I hav perserverance.

Bhagavad Gita
Positive:/masculine - reason
Negative/feminine consist of feeling - love, symphaty, kindness, mercy and joy
In the ideal being, these 2 aspect are perfectly balances.
If reason lack feeling, it becomes calculating, harsh, judgemental and if feeling lacks reason it becomes blind emotion
(Soul - no wonder 1 hour of surka kriya)

The devotee, following the path of meditation in hope of complete emancipation, realises that he has to destroy his material tendencies becos they militate against the pursuance of the superior soul pleasures.
But becos of his long familial relationship wit these tendencies, he becomes dejected at the prospect and is spoken of as feeling symphatetic toward these dear psychological relatives
(Soul - I wld say that I hav these since d day I found abt samyama. Now that the day is near, no longer so afraid. As for ego reluctant for meditation. I can't say m joyfil but I will continue becos its d course I hav to take due to my career change. So, I will preservere.)

Bhagavad Gita
What mortal does not feel this tender compassion for self? After all, "That's mej that's the way I am"
Its good to feel good abt the good in one's self, but it is bad to feel bad for the bad that shld be destroyed.
(Soul - I have long ago don take myself too seriously. Then when I know my mind is shitty, m even discriminating on its tots. As for what's me - m exploring. So, even d gourmet self, I m willing to let go for my Samyama.
Father, destroyin my bad self, don't think m ready et. To me, I jus plan to let it voice its tot, but I won't follow. Now that will take loads of self-control n awareness. )

Bhagavad Gita
The metaphysical reason for self-control is nothing but spiritual business proposition calculated to bring the greatest happiness to man. Jus as one must invest a certain sum of money in order to reap a greater, so the devotee forgoes indulgence in materialistic pleasures for the sake of gaining the pure joy of Spirit found in meditation.
Therefore self-control is not self-torture, but leads to soul happiness.
Soul i- m not sure abt that. Can't I hav both.

Bhagavad Gita
The beginning yogi, in the intial stages of soul contact is eager, happy and satisfied.
With further progressn he finds that the sense desires are diehard inmates of his life; he begins to wonder, even in the midt of divine realisations, if he has been wise in his decision to kill material joys for the sake of gaining spiritual happiness.
In such confusion + devotee tries to split his allegiance - giving half his attention to the body and its sense enjoyment and half to the inner assembly of soul joys.
The result of these half measures is that the devotee's limb of will power becomes paralysed by the disease of latent sense attachment.
He feels a dying-away of the finer intutive spiritual perceptions; the taste for material habits is like a fire, dries up the tast for the subtle spiritual perceptions.

Soul - I think d is d same msg by Sadhgure. And that's how I feel for past 2 days. I seem unable to connect wit Universe. I m wonderin if this is worthwhile. The only thing now is I can't give up n aslo my career change requires for me to conquer, so I can then guide people. If I don't do it, who can? Can I - Yes, with self control at full force.
First thing, from 4 Jan wil be strict veg. Cannot come here.
One thing I know for sure, You are behind me every step of d way. How u know I be facing this period of dry spell? I myself, can't even imagine n m still shocked that it can happen after all d joy I have expereinced. Even hatta yago also dry, Why??

Bhagavad Gita
Just as physical fear causes the hair to stand on end, so mental nervousness at the prospect of losing sense enjoyment causes the devotee's tot and his hairlike nerve energies to flow like stream away from soul happiness toward the region of the senses.
During this period of dubiounsess, the devotee find that the astral perceptions of the spine begin to fade away.
It feels instead a dreary loneliness and beholds a mental desert created by the renunciation of material joys.

Soul - that's how I feel exactly. TQ, for explaining to me. I lknow U will guide me through this.

Bhagavad Gita
When tiling the ground for cultivating crops, the lush growth of useless weeds must first be destroyed. Their disappearance causes the ground to look barren, until the time arrives for the invisible potential within the seeds to sprout up into plants and yield a goodly harvest!
The field of consciousness is similarly overgrown with weeds of meaningless sesnes pleasures - habits which, in the beginning difficult to forsake.
In this pitiable state of momentary bleakness, the devotee must cast away all feelings of doubt and despair and have faith that after the field of consciousness has been well sown with the seed of deep meditation, they wil produce the mystic trees of Omnipresence, bearing fruits of undying happiness.
It is not the the long established sense "upstart" in the bodily kingdom that the devotee owes his loyalty, but to the long-banished soul perceptions.

Soul - Father, thank u for guiding me. I admit my doubt arise but I hav faith in u. I long ago said that I want to release all that is hidden within me. All my subconsciousness, which I tot was either bad habits n then I found out abt its hidden unfulfilled longings. And now alas, d soul is also hidden. So, m still on d same path. This is the final door. Amen.

7thunder - King of diamond
A strong sense of values which has made u the success u r now.
U r ready to start ur own biz n it promises great success if u do.