Fear of lost income followed by possible Opportunities

Dec 22
Father, this mornin was feelin bit tired. But told myself to be disciplined since m going for samyama. At least its not food that i have to give up.

Now collecting medicine for RA n noted that my medicine cost is one thousand for 3 months supply. So expensive. That 4 thousand a year. Of cos ego workin overtime n said so how now, since u got cut in income. Also, this week ur legs swell.
Soul - what's d pressure? Well, there is workload. But not big enough to trigger. Perhaps is becos my part time thingy not settled.
Also, my house wld costs around 450k n not 350k. So, ego said how can brother buy. Then tot if any case, I can sell n lease back n can get 37 years. Or I can sell n get a cheaper apt at 200k n brother find his own place.
Aiyah, all these tots r negative, thinkin of lack.

Osho card - wasn't so keen to read cos I felt well but then better read cos feet swell

1. Issue - Existence
U r not accidental. Existence needs u n nobody can replace u. Once u r clean n clear, u can see tremendous love falling on u from all dimensions.
Home is not a physical place outside the world, but an inner quality and acceptance.

Soul - I find myself at ease n felt loved. But of cos, m stil worried abt whether m needed for d website. Whether its me lookin for challenge. Of cos yday readin secret of ages, sayin human will always strive to go upward - natural behaviour, I felt less judged.

2. Internal influence u r unable to see - Creativity
If whatever u do have something growing out of it within u, if it gives u growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine. The key is just to abandon urself. Be open to what wants to be expressed through u. Remember that we don't posses our creations; they do not belong to us.

Soul - first thin I tot of is my meditation. I jus gave myself up to it. Even if there is disturbance, even if I stop to scratch or open my eyes, my meditation doesn't falter, it jus continue. Now d finale wit legs folded n I bend down n touch my back heel, so at home. Later when I come out, such bliss n I be laughing non-stop. The laughter is more spontaneous n perhaps its new that I haven been able to detect d rumbling like normal laughter.
I m not sure what is there, what is d outcome. What is sure is that I will do meditation n yoga n my walk and my swim.

3. External u r aware - No thingness.
Nothingness to nothingness is the whole journey. Why, in d middle, becoming worried, so anxious and ambitous - why create such despair.
Jus relax, something sacred abt to be born.

Soul - yeap, I was worried abt my loss of income. Worried m not able to convert my 2 days productively. Worried that even if I do, it may not generate income. Worried if I can achieve my income base in 2 years time.
Mmm, good thing is now less worried abt how people see me. Those close to know me, know this is my path n asked what took me so long.
My 52 days card says up to 20 jan for my uncertainty,b we'll possible cos meeting Regional by 12 jan
Mmm, d something sacred abt to be born. Reminds me of my hibernation n now m ready to share wit d worl.

4 What is needed for resolution?
Change - life repeats itself mindlessly - unless u become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel.
Once u see d pattern, u can get out of it.
Move toward the center, knowing that this too will pass.

Soul - I did stop d wheel yday. I guess d bigger wheel is my period of uncertainty. This too wil pass.

5. The resolution - Beyond illusion.
The space between the two eyes has opened, revealing the lotus of spiritual unfoldment and the rising sun of awareness.
Through the rising of the inner sun, meditation is born
Look within instead of external. for what is REAL
Drop ur opnionated (judgement) mind and move INSIDE. There u can relax in ur deepest truth, where the difference between drams n reality is already known.


Dec 22 Evenin
Did my evenin meditation. Was laughing so much today n d laughing on folded legs is way out, its like d bliss that I saw in d teacher during d meditation programme. In d midst of all the laughter, I tot of my cousin. My guilt over her death, me not helping her when I could. Tot of d website - self transformation. Tot of me writing d self-help book. Me writing articles to newspaper. Jus sharing.

V's idea of d website is more like a life coach, whereas m thinking my site to be a self help transformation site. Its true, I won't attract d 'commercial' ones, but then that was not my calling.

Today, unexpected good news of main client, we got bonus n of cos we hav a new income n immediately I tot of us getting some income back. It was U. To focus on abundance instead of lack.

Today PA came to ask abt 7thunder book as she wans to seek confirmation. I guided her to the website n also share d 5 diamond destiny card. D part that irks me is she keep on saying it was her reiki that sparked me into this spiritual path. And also saying my intro friend followin her passion also help me. D truth is Sadhguru and Vijii help me. But she did said m on fast track pace in my spiritual devt. Always taking credit, even when it is not warranted..hei..just like her boss,CEO.

Mmm, PA seeking for confirmation if she is on d right path. In d end, my website is for people who know what they wan but need confirmation. Father, help me. Give me d name for d website.

Father, thanks to PA, i just realise that this year is a year of personal and professional change...is a career change...Is that possible? Me offering services is a career change?

I told GM that my family think I can't make it for 40 days veg. She said that I can make it cos m doing it for Higher Purpose. Yea, m transcending all limtation to love u.

The secret of ages
When u begin to realise that the power to do anything, to be anything, to have anything, is within yourself, then, and then only will u take ur proper place in the world.
Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance.
No doubt Jesus's friends and neighbours all ridiculed the idea of any such power within Him. Just as most people today laugh at the tot of a power such as that within themselves.
Don't judge ur ability by what u have done in the past.
Your work heretofore has been done wit the help of ur conscious mind alone.
Add to that the infinite knowledge at ur disposal of superconscious mind, and what u have done is nothing to what u will do in the future.
For knowledge does not apply itself. It is merely so much static energy.
An imagination which begins and ends in daydreaming is weakening to character.
We lose our capacity to have visions if we do not take steps to realise it.
Make the daydreams come true. Make them so clear.
Power implies service, so concentrate all ur tots on making ur vision of great deeds come true.