Why I didnt feel loved by my parents - different love language

Nov 30

This mornin woke up feeling tired. For a moment, tot of not doing yoga n sleep bit later. Then the 2nd tot is that I wld stil be tired after 1 hour of sleep, so, jus did yoga. When I was doing yoga, mind said we doin 12 instead of std 6 that others do. Can we do it? I told my mind that we can.

I also tot instead of thinking my job - not what I love. Instead of thinking no no, why don't I think of yes yes to my Passion. Why don't I jus start writing. Like GM said, think of my job as a means to an end. Then tot of PA, focusing on why she cannot be happy in her job n not focusing what wil make her happy.

Yea, for now focus on sathsang. I wil do 13 dec, wil tell teacher n fellow sathsang partner. On d volunteer to take care of d door, tot of asking a fellow meditator to support me.

As for my loving husband, jus remember God has million of channels n I need not control it.

The 5 love languages
1. Words of affirmation (4)
2. Gifts (5)
3. Acts of service (3)
4. Quality time (1)
5. Physical touch (2)

How to find out what's our primary love language
1. Observe ur own behaviour
75 percent of us, the language we speak most often is the language we desire. We r loving others in the manner in which we would like to be loved.

2. Observe what u request of others

3. Listen to ur complaints.

4. Asking key questions.

Soul
For me 3 n 4, d same. Mom gave me service but at time I also wan affirmation. Jus checked to my Top 5 - partner - quality time, physical touch n service.

The 5 love language
If u r an effective lover, u must learn how to discover other primary's love language.
Jus obserce their expressions, complaints and requests.

My mom - definitely act of service. Helpin out wit housework n fetching her to wherever she want to go.

Counselling - again I tot of it.

My primary love language - quality time. I guess that's why I tot my parents didn't love me cos they didn't spend quality time wit me after the sexual molest. They didn't discuss wit me, didn't explain that's its not my fault, didn't tell me of their action plan.

I guess for both of them - act of service. I was always the one that didn't hav to do house chore, can be allowed to play without responsibility. Dad would always fetch me to/fro on my work. Mom always cooked my favourite food. Mom always asked me what I wan to eat. They love me. They wouldn't know how to spend quality time cos their parents also didn't.
I hav known n felt my parents love for a few years back n today at least I understand why I didn't felt loved in the early years.
Suddenly tot of an old memory, dad beating me cos he tot I stole my neighbour purse. Later it was discovered it was not me, they jus bring me out for food. They didn't explain to me why they believe I cld steal it, they didn't say they r sorry for disbelieving me, for beating me.
My primary love language is quality time n that's what I give my staff whom m close to. But the love language m used to is - giving food, jus like my parents's love language.

Suddenly tot - quality time - solving people problem - counselling people.

I guess I miss my close friend most cos we spend quality time together. Eventhough last few years were not productive, but I still appreciate it. Now she is not so there n my 1st love too. Now I know why I loved 1st love cos we spend quality time together. Jus like the ACIM group. Like now, wit Isha, there is no talking/sharing, but meditation is quality time to me too.

Suddenly a tot to start a group of people sharing quality time. Like what Benjamin Franklin did. Can advert is Facebook.
Also tot of starting Befriender before embarking on counselling. Befriender - spending quality time wit strangers.

Father, yea. Thanks for Ur tot this mornin. Instead of focusing on my job that I don't love, why don't I focus on what that I may love. Explore that. Like GM said, my job is the means to an end.
I know now I can't take the step to quit job n I m not require to. Again, I m putting the cart. Jus like when I went to isha, I need not stay there. Don't hav to be black n white.
Amen

Jus came out of toilet. Tot of me n close friend, our quality time together. It was only in recent years, when m growing n she refused to acknowledge it that led the deterioration of our quality time together.
A tot why don't I give quality time to people. Befriender is definitely a good place to start cos I can give quality time to stranger in need.
Then another tot came - give love n u will receive love. Yeap, I can definitely give love via quality time n who know I may receive love via quality time.
Was also thinkin why don't I amend the adv to include what I want in my partner.