M feeling pissed...

Dec 2 Evenin

Father, bloody hell. I m piss wit CEO for replyin an email not meant for her. I m piss wit one of the Mgm team for getting CEO to be involved. I have said NO to All, Mgm and my staff and myself as we need to ensure enforcement.
Here she goes to get CEO. I guess m also piss for the previous email from another senior staffV. And I guess this sort of trigger it.

It is difficult to enforce policies when it is the CEO that breaks it. Also, now hanging on me is the MC. She takes off without medical cert. So, shld charge into Annual leave. Again forcing me to confront. Aiyah, why can't u leave life easy. Also, she didn't reply the email on handbook, which makes me feel hurt. And I hav got a feeling that she wan to scold me for whatever lah n I don't like it.

CEO jus is her normal self. M more piss wit the Mgm person. I m hurt that he include CEO, this is not our protocol for Mgm.
In the end, m fear that she is forcing my hand to quit. I already don't mind doin so. I wan to wait till after Samyama. Surprisingly a fellow meditator told me he too wan to quit n I shared me too, but not sure yet n want to get clarity in Samyama.
M feel guilty cos by right shld follow policy n now I can't act on it cos m afraid of the repercussion.
In the end, m still fearful of her.
Her action force me to confront my fear.

Guess can't hav everything. For reporting, things r bein sorted out n now m relieved of most reporting. Jus need to review mostly.
Only thing is CEO. Aiyah, small issue lah. Its just that m looking for excuses to push myself out. Well, not ready yet.

Jus now telling FM, the ultimate is to be in the world, but no of the world. I told her I got 10 %, which is true.

Today GM said she wan to quit n target January. I told her that if PD get reinstatement n we can't get, then we want to work 4 days a week.


A solution
What the ex-FD did was to ignore the email. Don't tell CEO that she doesn't agree. She goes behind n get the things sorted out according to policy n tell them not to tell CEO.
So CEO doesn't know n she need not confront her fear
She stil can enforce policies.

Not my usual style. But the confrontation is not worth it. I jus wan a peaceful life.
On one hand thinks its cowardly. Secondly think we lost our authority. But what the heck, do we really hav authority. Her email says all.
So, may consider FM's method.