Nov 26
It has been quite a while since I didn't grind my teeth.
Now my nightly session is to hav a look at my Vision's book. Also to read Sadhguru's poem.
He said when u r estatic or suffering, poem can convey or express ur tot inside.
Sadhguru
If u choose something that u like, it strengthen ur personality. Learn to do things that u don't like, be wit people that u don't like and still live ur life sensibly, lovingly, joyfully. Everything will break.
Between u and Ultimate, there is nothing but urself - ur mental structure.
In order to break u, do something in reverse.
In terms of work, I break free in here. In terms of food, I m breakin up in India n here.
Yday, GM said I look happy during lunch n now I look shitty. I guess I was stressed out by the client audit. Father, I know m not happy. Aiyah, today at least register for Healthy, Wise n Wealthy. That is taking a step.
When I was driving my brother's car, there was financial plannin talk n I tot of how much I need - wit sub, insurance, montly payout of 600. If I quit now my employment contribution wil run out in 6 years. Besides I can't take out d money out now from employment contribution. That's mean still hav to find work. Need to look at the headhunter job! Perhaps working permanent for 1 year n then only freelance when I build the contact.
Aiyah, let's start wit the articles first. Don't hav to quit immediately. Start writing.
Mmm, Everything is possible.
Osho
Issue - healing
Live a headless life. Move as a total being and accept things.
All ur wound r now ready to be healed
We r no longer hiding from ourselves or others.
In this attitude of openness and acceptance, we can be healed and help others also to be healthy n whole.
Soul - tot of my fear of rejection/failure. I guess I also fear my writing be rejected, so thinkin of running away again.
Also afraid of Sathsang in d morning, tot of not doing. But yday meditation clearly said I must do.
Just start on d path of fulfilling my destiny. It is not easy talking to a crowd. But if my destiny is to be international speaker, I will hav to start somewhere. N Teacher said I m fine. It was d first practice using mike.
Yea, start sathsang towards my Destiny to help others to be healthy n whole.
2. Internal influence u r unable to see - clinging to the past
Clinging to the past memories is absolute stupidity. It is no longer there. Clinging will simply create misery. U will hav to let go.
U need not be beggar, do taste the pleasure that is offered now.
The old blueprints is gone.
Soul - yeap, I was in d past n d sathsang n then Sadhguru's poem is the msg that NOW is possible.
Everything that I couldn't have or don't dare to have is now possible.
3. External influence of whic u r aware
Suppression - find a way to release whatever tensions and stresses might be building up inside u. Sheake up ur energy n allow it to circulate freely.
Soul - wil tell sis today I wil not be here for CNY.
Also, Love is waiting to be let out. I hav not initiated yet. Leading Sathsang first.
4. What is needed for resolution
Flowering - live in the maximum, overflowing
Your life should reach to others. Your blissfulness, ur benediction, ur ecstasy should not be contained within u like a seed.
It should open like a flower and spread its fragrance to all and sundry - not only to the friends but to the strangers too.
This is real compassion, this is real love - sharing ur enlightenment, sharing ur dance of the beyond.
The Queen of Rainbows is like a fantastic plant that has reached the apex of its flowering and its colours.
She is sexual, very alive and full of possibilities.
Flowers fall on her from above, in harmony with her own flowering, and the waters of emotion swirl playfully beneath the flower on which she sits.
You might feel like a garden of flowers right now, showered with blessings from everywhere. Welcome the bees, invite the birds to drink your nectar. Spread your joy around for all to share.
Soul - yeap, I wil do the Sathsang, wit Sadhguru's grace.
Everything is possible Now.
5. Resolution - the understanding
Change
Move towards the center of the cyclone and relax, knowing that this too will pass.
Soul - yea. Whenever m down, be aware n move towards center.
Afternoon
Reading Chiron in Pisces gave me the perspective that clarify my tot. Part of me want to go there to God, something that is my natural habitat, but another part of me view it like a sacrifice and I haven't even start to savour the fruit of my journey. I guess part of me said m a Healer n the other part m a victim that jus been healed. Let someone else do it. If I can heal myself wit the guide from Universe, others can too.
The healer said we can becos we r connected, whereas others hav not find d door.
The healed victim said why me? There are other Healers who r connected too.
The Healer said cos we r not happy. But the victim said but at least we cannot be sad anymore.
Chiron in pisces
Taking the hurt of being too open and compassionate and using them as the building blocks for setting appropriate boundaries and healthy giving.
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