With power, comes responsibility

Nov 12 morning

Tots that came in during meditation.
My passion is to be happy.
I will go the fellow meditator's daughter wedding to broaden my circle, especially since she said her daughter is an international Seminar organiser.

I admit my passion is You. But it is monumental ask which I think quite impossible. I myself can't believe it, how to expect others to believe me. I was crying tearfully, why me?? Such a difficult challenge/passion....
A response came, Unhappiness can cause death like my cousin. So, someone has to start to teach people how to be happy cos unhappiness can cause death.
I said I know but its such a tall order, not sure how to achieve it.
Another reply came, d happy guy author already died. He has started d base to be happy and its me that will continue the rest.

When I was driving, I start to think where to start towards my Purpose. Then I tot of writing first. Below are the tiltles.
1. How not to be sad?
2. Why can't we be sad?
3. Suffering is blessing in disguise
4. How can we be happy?
5. How can we be as Great as we really are?

Ego said where you got time to write. I said well, we r free during weekend. Ego retorted, who will publish, which i replied I can do in my blog.

My left thumb is swelling. Father, let me be positive. The only thing I tot of is that m havin d pain to fasten me in my process of Unfoldment of my Greatness. Also by havin d pain, I would be able to identify wit them.

Its thursday already n now re-look at the Osho transformation card again.
1. Event or circumstances in ur life. It may also represent outer influences affectin u in ur question
Energy - either u make ur energy creative or it will turn sour and become destructive. Energy is a dangerous thing - if you have it, u hav to use it creatively, otherwise sooner or later you will find it become destructive.

Soul - my Energy is at the top. Finally I understood. I hav been given the greater Power n it comes wit a Greater Purpose. I m not sure what wil be. I jus know that if I don't pursue, my RA will be reactivated cos too much energy or perhaps inside I m unhappy cos not fulfilling my Destiny.
It is a damn tall order, impossible even. Perhaps that's why I avoid looking at my passion cos I was afraid of what I wil find. Afraid is too big and hence d chance of success is nil, afraid of failure, afraid of people laughing at me, afraid that people will say I myself haven't been transformed, how can I teach others?

I was operating from fear of how not to be sad. And in the pretext, definitely its better u don't know. A classic case of ignorance is bliss. Or rather ignorance keep me safe in my cocoon, I was definitely not in bliss, not sad, maybe. Now I know, d onus is on me.

A tot came, I always said With Power, comes Responsibility and the greater the power, the greater the responsibility. It is always in my mind. I didn't even know its d same statement quoted by SpiderMan.
Of cos, part of me is bit resentful, feeling bit unloved. Why God give me such great responsibility, such a tall order? Of cos, now I know I have Great Power cos I hav received Great Love. So, instead of focusing on the responsibility, perhaps I jus focus on how to channel my Power, that's all.
Also cousin's death left such guilt in me, that I know I can no longer take a back stand. I will guide wherever and whoever I can. I shall not hold back due to fear.
Suddenly tot of Universal Love. This is death of ego.

Buddha - I love this man. I love his courage. And I can see tremendous possibility in him; a single man fighting against the whole world. I want this kind of people, who can stand against the whole world. Upt to now, he was standing against the world wit a sword; now he will stand against the world with a consciousness which is far sharper than any sword.

Soul - I think this is to tell me that God is not punishing me, but He loves me and He sees the greatness in me. He knows I have faced so many challenges in the world, I have always faced the most expansive/highest level - bosses from hell, peers from hell, work from hell, worst cashflow, no biz product. And I overcome all.
Now, its d Passion from Heaven. I wanted to say hell cos it is so impossibly difficult, my greatest challenge ever.
I told my ex-staff that m not happy in my job and only thing keeping here is my staff. She said m ready for new challenges.
I told her that I no longer want or need challenges. I jus wan to savour n be.
Little did I knew that I have the Greatest Challenge waiting for me and this challenge is from within and not without. So, even if I stay put, it comes knocking. I cannot avoid it.

Perhaps I can tell myself, no one expect me to succeed in this Greatest Challenge. So, need not be afraid that I be judged for failure; need not be worried abt that.
For me, I am doing cos it is my Passion. I don't know what's the outcome, BUT I know I will feel fulfilled and complete following my Passion. Along d way, when I helped a few persons to be happy and that's enough. Of cos, I will lose all my trapping, all my financial security, my gourmet food.

I know I will do headhunter for side income.
A tot came again, Befriender.

2. Outer influence that you are aware of
Remaining Centered.
If u decide to get out, a single moment's decision is enough. You can be out of illusions this very moment.
If meditation is deep, if awareness is clear, nothing can disturb it.

3. The seed of transformation that is now preparing to take root within you.
Laughter.
If u change your sadness into celebration, then you will also be capable of changing your death into resurrection. So learn the art while there is time.

Soul - I hav always believed suffering is blessings and I have even changed my sadness into laughter.
This laughter card I can't ignore cos I am the Laughing Buddha. And fellow meditator telling me that my laughter has helped her to connect wit her Source, its like telling me I can do it. She was appreciative cos perhaps she hasn't experience such connection before during the sathsang.
I know m now facing death and I know I hav to die cos my RA is giving me signal that its time. I am afraid to die cos I don't know what's next. And now I know my Great Purpose, it is daunting cos its like setting up myself for failure.
I have to leave a comfy corporate job that give me security for nothing. Most likely there will be no financial security in my Passion, except it makes me feel fulfilled. I know journing towards my Great Purpose is more than happiness cos even if I stop now, I am already happy and joyful, but m not complete. I hav not fulfill my Unfoldment Process. For more than 10 years, it was a period of clearing and now its a period of building.
I guess what this card is saying is that I can turn sadness into laughter, than, I too can turn my death into resurrection.
I never knew cousin's death could have so much impact on me, its the turning point for me to use my Power for Others.
I think m beginning to understand what the Nine of Heart means. Using my Power for the greater good of mankind and not for me alone.