Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Crying out to Sadhguru on my Rheumatoid Arthritis pain during Sannidhi Pooja

Jul 9 eve

What an amazing Sannidhi Pooja. I light the incense. Sat in sweet silence. Did the guru Pooja song. Then immediately tears fall. I was crying to Sadhguru saying I just want to do Sadhana. Sadhana only. I was crying over my knees.
Then when Pooja song was playing immediately a deep growl comes from me. Something in me wanted to come out. It was so intense and I cried again. Then animal sound comes out. Again I cry. This continue for the whole 3 cycles. Longest ever.
Reminds me when I did the Guru Pooja program, crying non stop.

Then silence in Brahmanda chanting. When I finished, my knees shakes, knee better now. Reminds me of Samyama when my swollen ankle was healed after an intense meditation with Sadhguru.

Did Devi chanting in dim light. Can see some lyrics. After singing I lie down in Devi posture. Tears fell immediately I cried for being alone. For having to face this RA pain on my own. Worried since I be shifting out next month. Who will take care of me?  Moments later tears stop and laughter came. Then silence.

Shoonya went in deep. After Shoonya woke up. Room is hot.

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