Osho card - Exhaustion

Jun 17 aft

This week Osho tarot card.
1. The Issue - Creativity
Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine. You become more divine as you become more creative. 

All the religions of the world have said God is the creator. I don't know whether he is the creator or not, but one thing I know: the more creative you become, the more godly you become. When your creativity comes to a climax, when your whole life becomes creative, you live in God. So he must be the creator because people who have been creative have been closest to him. Love what you do. Be meditative while you are doing it - whatsoever it is!

Soul
Not sure..earlier I tot it was the radio interview that i helped to connect and also the media write up.
But I wish it could be me supporting the RA people..more to show them there is a way out.
there is a way out of our suffering.


2.2. Internal influence that you are unaware
Compromise

The two figures on this card remind us of the sleazy and conspiratorial situations we can get into when we compromise our own truth. It is one thing to meet another halfway, to understand a point of view different from our own and work towards a harmony of the opposing forces. It is quite another to "cave in" and betray our own truth. If we look deeply into it, we usually find that we are trying to gain something--whether it is power or the approval of others. If you are tempted, beware: the rewards of this kind of compromise always leave a bitter taste in the mouth.

Soul
Now being very careful.
Cos I now will hold myself back when I am not sure.
No longer plunge ahead and ignoring my needs just because I want to save my validation...I want to belong.

3.3. External influences that you are aware
Exhaustion
A man who lives through conscience becomes hard. A man who lives through consciousness remains soft. Why?--because a man who has some ideas about how to live, naturally becomes hard. He has continuously to carry his character around himself. That character is like an armor; his protection, his security; his whole life is invested in that character. And he always reacts to situations through the character, not directly. If you ask him a question, his answer is ready-made. That is the sign of a hard person--he is dull, stupid, mechanical. He may be a good computer, but he is not a man. You do something and he reacts in a well- established way. His reaction is predictable; he is a robot. The real man acts spontaneously. If you ask him a question, your question gets a response, not a reaction. He opens his heart to your question, exposes himself to your question, responds to it....


This is the portrait of one whose whole life energy has been depleted in his efforts to keep fueling the enormous and ridiculous machine of self-importance and productivity. He has been so busy "keeping it all together" and "making sure everything runs smoothly", that he has forgotten to really rest. No doubt he can't allow himself to be playful. To abandon his duty for a trip to the beach could mean the whole structure might come tumbling down. The message of this card is not just about being a workaholic, though. It is about all the ways in which we set up safe but unnatural routines for ourselves and, by doing so, keep the chaotic and spontaneous away from our doors. Life isn't a business to be managed, it's a mystery to be lived. It's time to tear up the time-card, break out of the factory, and take a little trip into the uncharted. Your work can flow more smoothly from a relaxed state of mind.

Soul
This week I am tired.
Maybe the menses..not sure.
But just want to be on my own..doing my sadhana..my writing.
Just want to chill out.

4.4. Whats needed for resolution?
Sorrow
This pain is not to make you sad, remember. That's where people go on missing.... This pain is just to make you more alert--because people become alert only when the arrow goes deep into their heart and wounds them. Otherwise they don't become alert. When life is easy, comfortable, convenient, who cares? Who bothers to become alert? When a friend dies, there is a possibility. When your woman leaves you alone--those dark nights, you are lonely. You have loved that woman so much and you have staked all, and then suddenly one day she is gone. Crying in your loneliness, those are the occasions when, if you use them, you can become aware. The arrow is hurting: it can be used.The pain is not to make you miserable, the pain is to make you more aware! And when you are aware, misery disappears

. Times of great sorrow have the potential to be times of great transformation. But in order for transformation to happen we must go deep, to the very roots of our pain, and experience it as it is, without blame or self-pity.


5. Resolution
Nothing-ness
Buddha has chosen one of the really very potential words - shunyata. The English word, the English equivalent, "nothingness", is not such a beautiful word. That's why I would like to make it "no-thingness" - because the nothing is not just nothing, it is all. It is vibrant with all possibilities. It is potential, absolute potential. It is unmanifest yet, but it contains all. 

In the beginning is nature, in the end is nature, so why in the middle do you make so much fuss? Why, in the middle, becoming so worried, so anxious, so ambitious - why create such despair? Nothingness to nothingness is the whole journey.

Being "in the gap" can be disorienting and even scary. Nothing to hold on to, no sense of direction, not even a hint of what choices and possibilities might lie ahead. But it was just this state of pure potential that existed before the universe was created. 

All you can do now is to relax into this no-thingness...fall into this silence between the words...watch this gap between the outgoing and incoming breath. And treasure each empty moment of the experience. Something sacred is about to be born.

Soul
True..I don't know if me stopping medication will work.
But I have faith that it will.
I will only know when the blood test in one month time.
I have been doing sadhana for the past 7 years..it is time.
Also feeling bit scared that I am finally shifting out on my own.
But I am also looking forward..and I know I be safe with the Shrine, with my sannidhi..
And Devi is now with me...