May 29 eve
Just did Sannidhi pooja.
There were no tears during the guru song.
However when reaching Brahmananda chanting. Jaw was trying to move..but only a few chants by the other persons.
Half way, suddenly I feel my liver. My liver calling for love. My liver saying that he can’t take the Arava pills anymore.
I just cup my liver and continue chanting.
Again, my liver crying out that he had enough.
Then I realised that it is good news that my liver said it has enough. It then put a stop to Arava.
I have been asking where will this RA lead to.
Why I have not been cured?
I will continue to take neem as I cannot rely on the Doctor. She has no solution for me, except for steroid. And she said that if I don’t take steroid then when inflammation happens, it will just be painkiller.
Did Devi chanting. Chant 3 times. Some of the other people voice coming in.
Then my liver crying out again.
I knew then that it is not a bad news that my liver is inflamed. It is not bad news that I can no longer take Arava. My body is saying no to Arava.
Just ate turmeric. Now I recalled that the Doctor said no to neem and turmeric cos she was saying that the capsules form (with its edible ‘plastic) may be the cause and hence she wants me to stop.
I can only see that she is actually feeling helpless that she can’t help me.
That its..her feeling helpless.
I will see the Chinese doctor to heal the inflamed liver.
The western doctor can no longer help me.
They can only give me steroids and pain killer.
Now it is up to me to heal myself.
I don’t feel sad over this latest diagnosis of inflamed liver.
I know I will be fine.
Just as I don’t feel sad when I was diagnosed with RA
I also don’t feel sad now with inflamed liver.
There is blessing in suffering
But now I matured, no need to go through the suffering period.
My liver is saying no to Arava that causes it to malfunction.
Good that it was diagnosed early.
Perhaps Bhuta Shuddhi finally balancing it out.
I knew my immune system broke down ever since I got back from Kailash. Guess it accelerates it so that I can be released from Arava.
I won’t be taking the steroids.
I will take numeric every night and neem/tumeric every morning.
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