Osho - Sorrow on RA

Jun 19 aft

Whats needed for resolution? Sorrow
This pain is not to make you sad, remember. That's where people go on missing.... This pain is just to make you more alert--because people become alert only when the arrow goes deep into their heart and wounds them. Otherwise they don't become alert.
When life is easy, comfortable, convenient, who cares? Who bothers to become alert? When a friend dies, there is a possibility. When your woman leaves you alone--those dark nights, you are lonely. You have loved that woman so much and you have staked all, and then suddenly one day she is gone. Crying in your loneliness, those are the occasions when, if you use them, you can become aware. The arrow is hurting: it can be used. The pain is not to make you miserable, the pain is to make you more aware! And when you are aware, misery disappears.

The image is of Ananda, the cousin and disciple of Gautam Buddha. He was at Buddha's side constantly, attending to his every need for forty-two years. When Buddha died, the story is told that Ananda was still at his side, weeping. The other disciples chastised him for his misunderstanding: Buddha had died absolutely fulfilled; he should be rejoicing. But Ananda said, "You misunderstand. I'm weeping not for him but for myself, because for all these years I have been constantly at his side but I have still not attained." Ananda stayed awake for the whole night, meditating deeply and feeling his pain and sorrow. By the morning, it is said, he was enlightened. Times of great sorrow have the potential to be times of great transformation. But in order for transformation to happen we must go deep, to the very roots of our pain, and experience it as it is, without blame or self-pity.

Soul
This time don't feel sad per se.
Can see that my body can't take RA and has to take steriods.
I see this as
There must be a away out for RA.
It is all about the immune system
Just as I took the inner journey to unravel my hidden consciousness that runs my life.
I will now undertake the journey on my immune system.
Since my conscious defense mechanism is not activated..it goes hidden and over activated my inner defense mechanism.
I am going to unravel my inner defense mechanism.
I can do it..
I have the ability to do it.
I have the inclination to do it
So many others are suffering...its time..