May 22
Today woke up at 7 am...mind said sleep more..but I don't want to.
I really want to do hata yoga.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by Yogaasana.
Yogaasana was quite okay despite complete halt in Hata Yoga for the past one week.
My back is nearly healed..on the two leg up posture, I just did 15 breathe count. Others I can easily do 40 breathe count.
61 points awareness meditation, it was good..i am in awareness mode.
My nose still 'bleed' from too much sneezing, can't go for swimming. Will go Angamardhana tomorrow.
Breathing was nice..but couldn't sit long cos got to go income tax today. Want to see if I got any real money left.
Shakti is okay..still keeping to slow Kapala Bhakti..After Kapala Bhakti, mouth exercises happen again
I just tot it was okay..so was surprised that I was laughing.
Shambavi was good..immediately after removal of Bhanda lock, the mouth exercise begins. Then stillness.
I am no longer afraid..guess this mouth movement will happen for awhile..
In the closing invocation, the funny voice came.
It was during Shakti that I realised I was holding on to validation. Hence i know I will not. I am certain of my values..and validation is no longer one of them.
I can let go.
With that I quickly called my good friend and told her that media volunteer be contacting her instead as I am only in interaction.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Isha yoga - a method not a teaching
May 21 eve
Sadhguru - means uneducated Guru.
Isha Yoga is not a teaching, it is just a method. If u employ it as a method, it will deliver u somewhere.
If u take it as a teaching, u get some more garbage in ur head.
So I have no teaching at all. But if u are willing, I can deliver u into a space and a situation within urself that u have never imagined possible in human life.
Soul
True. Amen.
Always used it as a tools.
My devotion to Sadhguru is due to overwhelming gratitude for taking me places beyond dimension that I have know.
Sadhguru
Comparison is a problem only if u have a problem in knowing that someone is better than u. U should not have a problem that someone is doing better than u.
I am always seeking someone who can do things better than me because then my life will become easy. I don't want to live with dumb people who cannot do as well as me.
The problem arises because u have a horrible sense of insecurity about urself. Ur whole life invested in looking a little better than someone else. When ur idea of success is about being a little better than someone else, then u will be miserable when u succeed.
U will know the joy of action only when u are blissful by ur own nature. If u r doing ur action to squeeze happiness out of life around u, then once in a way when there is flash of success u r elated, but when it does not happen u will be miserable.
If u are really creating what u love to create and are enjoying the process, and it did not find result and u have to do it all over again - there be no issue.
Soul
In my blog. I did it for me. My website I did for me too. It's my sanity. It's my expression. I can see that my emotional intensity not really welcomed in society. So I can only express in writing.
Now with my family I m learning to express and I can see they not comfortable. In my family we learned to suppress.
In a way I must have been very 'tightly controlled in view of my emotional intensity.
Father, part of me bit envious that core team is flourishing from their volunteering experience in BSP. I can see others admire them
Mine not going has elevated my sadhana. But again outward expression not there. Physically I still fall sick.
To others I have not elevated at all.
But I m happy where I m. I may be bit envious of them but at least now mature enough to know it is not for me. My path is different and I need not compare. Wonder where I will finally find outward expression of my inward expression of sadhana.
Guess my lesson is learning to know I m enough. I m enough for myself. It's enough that I m happy. I may not be enough for another or to the world. But I m enough for myself. I may not find elevation but I found contentment and I lose the need for drama.
Sadhguru
Nature tells you that this state of being joyful is necessary for u to live a healthy life. This has to be firmed up, established, insured. U have to insure ur joy first and then get into activity. Then it does not matter activity goes up or down, u will not go up or down.
Soul
Yea. Maybe with my strong self judgement; my first lesson is to be joyful.
Let me learned this.
Just as my lesson is aloneness and others is in rships.
Sadhguru - means uneducated Guru.
Isha Yoga is not a teaching, it is just a method. If u employ it as a method, it will deliver u somewhere.
If u take it as a teaching, u get some more garbage in ur head.
So I have no teaching at all. But if u are willing, I can deliver u into a space and a situation within urself that u have never imagined possible in human life.
Soul
True. Amen.
Always used it as a tools.
My devotion to Sadhguru is due to overwhelming gratitude for taking me places beyond dimension that I have know.
Sadhguru
Comparison is a problem only if u have a problem in knowing that someone is better than u. U should not have a problem that someone is doing better than u.
I am always seeking someone who can do things better than me because then my life will become easy. I don't want to live with dumb people who cannot do as well as me.
The problem arises because u have a horrible sense of insecurity about urself. Ur whole life invested in looking a little better than someone else. When ur idea of success is about being a little better than someone else, then u will be miserable when u succeed.
U will know the joy of action only when u are blissful by ur own nature. If u r doing ur action to squeeze happiness out of life around u, then once in a way when there is flash of success u r elated, but when it does not happen u will be miserable.
If u are really creating what u love to create and are enjoying the process, and it did not find result and u have to do it all over again - there be no issue.
Soul
In my blog. I did it for me. My website I did for me too. It's my sanity. It's my expression. I can see that my emotional intensity not really welcomed in society. So I can only express in writing.
Now with my family I m learning to express and I can see they not comfortable. In my family we learned to suppress.
In a way I must have been very 'tightly controlled in view of my emotional intensity.
Father, part of me bit envious that core team is flourishing from their volunteering experience in BSP. I can see others admire them
Mine not going has elevated my sadhana. But again outward expression not there. Physically I still fall sick.
To others I have not elevated at all.
But I m happy where I m. I may be bit envious of them but at least now mature enough to know it is not for me. My path is different and I need not compare. Wonder where I will finally find outward expression of my inward expression of sadhana.
Guess my lesson is learning to know I m enough. I m enough for myself. It's enough that I m happy. I may not be enough for another or to the world. But I m enough for myself. I may not find elevation but I found contentment and I lose the need for drama.
Sadhguru
Nature tells you that this state of being joyful is necessary for u to live a healthy life. This has to be firmed up, established, insured. U have to insure ur joy first and then get into activity. Then it does not matter activity goes up or down, u will not go up or down.
Soul
Yea. Maybe with my strong self judgement; my first lesson is to be joyful.
Let me learned this.
Just as my lesson is aloneness and others is in rships.
Four of Diamonds - settling down
May 21
Woke up around 5.30 am but don't want to wake up. Body not that great..
Slept and tot of waking up at 6.30 am but alas wrongly put alarm so body woke up 7 am.
So body truly needed sleep.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by Cat stretch.
It was a okay.
Did Breathing..it was nice..nose not as blocked.
Did Shakti..and it was good.. surprisingly right feet not that painful.
Able to do slow Kapala Bhakti..but lost count in third cycle.
Ended with singing.
Just stop one time for sneeze..otherwise no other stops. So I am recovering.
Shambavi.good.
In the end, mouth muscle contracted...making expression and then stillness.
mmm..just let it be.
Most part of my body has 'been activated' but not mouth.
Guess thats where it is now.
Just feel good..and contented.
Love sadhguru pix on the Sannidhi..so much love and compassion.
Alas...finally settling down.
This period in Neptune
Neptune 12 may to 2 July
Destiny
Four of Diamonds
My 52-Day Period Card
The Four of Diamonds
The Four of Diamonds means a solid sense of values that attracts enough money to meet our security needs and then some. When we know exactly what it is we want, we tend to attract those things to us more quickly. Thus, when this card shows up, it usually means that we have gotten clear about what we want and then we get it. Satisfaction and prosperity are indicated here and you may have a good foundation upon which you can begin building a financial future. Managing your resources could come into focus in a greater way when this card is present and this card can give you the ability to handle financial matters with a clear mind.
Four of Diamonds in Neptune
This is a good card for money and indicated money made through travel or foreign interest, in the care of others or in some secret way.
U are somewhat protected in all ur business dealings under this influence. This is a card of satisfaction in financial affairs and one which u can take time to enjoy the fruits of ur labor as well.
Soul
I found out some money in Income Tax..maybe I truly overpaid. Will check it out. The extra money can go into renovation;
Ruling
Two of Hearts
King of Spades
This period may bring a very romantic and idealistic love affair or friendship. U may meet someone while travelling or it could be a secret or mystical affairs. Neptune glamour may prevent u from being objective. The person u meet may seem to be ur dreams but caution is advised.
Postpone any important decisions about love until after ur birthday. Also be watchful of miscommunication that could stir up trouble between u.
U r dreaming about ur soul mate, but only time will tell if this person actually shows up.
King of Spades
Mastery over one environment and one self.
Woke up around 5.30 am but don't want to wake up. Body not that great..
Slept and tot of waking up at 6.30 am but alas wrongly put alarm so body woke up 7 am.
So body truly needed sleep.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by Cat stretch.
It was a okay.
Did Breathing..it was nice..nose not as blocked.
Did Shakti..and it was good.. surprisingly right feet not that painful.
Able to do slow Kapala Bhakti..but lost count in third cycle.
Ended with singing.
Just stop one time for sneeze..otherwise no other stops. So I am recovering.
Shambavi.good.
In the end, mouth muscle contracted...making expression and then stillness.
mmm..just let it be.
Most part of my body has 'been activated' but not mouth.
Guess thats where it is now.
Just feel good..and contented.
Love sadhguru pix on the Sannidhi..so much love and compassion.
Alas...finally settling down.
This period in Neptune
Neptune 12 may to 2 July
Destiny
Four of Diamonds
My 52-Day Period Card
The Four of Diamonds
The Four of Diamonds means a solid sense of values that attracts enough money to meet our security needs and then some. When we know exactly what it is we want, we tend to attract those things to us more quickly. Thus, when this card shows up, it usually means that we have gotten clear about what we want and then we get it. Satisfaction and prosperity are indicated here and you may have a good foundation upon which you can begin building a financial future. Managing your resources could come into focus in a greater way when this card is present and this card can give you the ability to handle financial matters with a clear mind.
Four of Diamonds in Neptune
This is a good card for money and indicated money made through travel or foreign interest, in the care of others or in some secret way.
U are somewhat protected in all ur business dealings under this influence. This is a card of satisfaction in financial affairs and one which u can take time to enjoy the fruits of ur labor as well.
Soul
I found out some money in Income Tax..maybe I truly overpaid. Will check it out. The extra money can go into renovation;
Ruling
Two of Hearts
King of Spades
This period may bring a very romantic and idealistic love affair or friendship. U may meet someone while travelling or it could be a secret or mystical affairs. Neptune glamour may prevent u from being objective. The person u meet may seem to be ur dreams but caution is advised.
Postpone any important decisions about love until after ur birthday. Also be watchful of miscommunication that could stir up trouble between u.
U r dreaming about ur soul mate, but only time will tell if this person actually shows up.
King of Spades
Mastery over one environment and one self.
No longer need new adventure to feel secure
May 20 eve
Today Sannidhi Pooja was okay.
During guru song immediately my mouth and jaw working to create different expression.
During Brahmananda chanting. Different voices came in
Towards the end some singing and just open eyes adoring Sadhguru pic.
What a turnaround. Many years till now I used to avoid this Pix of his. To me it seems too much, too fierce. But now I think this is Sadhguru most loving and compassionate pic.
During Pooja some tots came in on become trainer for the new International Day Yoga pgm for corporate. But I shrug it off. This another mind tactic. I no longer need to search for anything new. While I got Laziness card this week under What needed for resolution? I will wait for it to come. I don't have to search for it. Even this role as Interaction head, it came. I didn't ask nor seek it. Timing good and I have been unofficially doing it, so okay.
Sadhguru
If we want life to happen the way we want it, the first and foremost requirement is to be clear about what it is that we really want.
Soul
Yes. I wanted peace and quiet. No more chasing after Adventure to get validation. Validation that only create drama in the end.
Today Sannidhi Pooja was okay.
During guru song immediately my mouth and jaw working to create different expression.
During Brahmananda chanting. Different voices came in
Towards the end some singing and just open eyes adoring Sadhguru pic.
What a turnaround. Many years till now I used to avoid this Pix of his. To me it seems too much, too fierce. But now I think this is Sadhguru most loving and compassionate pic.
During Pooja some tots came in on become trainer for the new International Day Yoga pgm for corporate. But I shrug it off. This another mind tactic. I no longer need to search for anything new. While I got Laziness card this week under What needed for resolution? I will wait for it to come. I don't have to search for it. Even this role as Interaction head, it came. I didn't ask nor seek it. Timing good and I have been unofficially doing it, so okay.
Sadhguru
If we want life to happen the way we want it, the first and foremost requirement is to be clear about what it is that we really want.
Soul
Yes. I wanted peace and quiet. No more chasing after Adventure to get validation. Validation that only create drama in the end.
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Facing my money issue..feeling lack
May 20
Woke up intermittently yesterday coughing and nose blocked.
Woke up in the morning upon alarm at 7 am. Body is good but I slept back cos no plan to do Hata Yoga.
Must be because of Sannidhi...the energy helps.
Now at cafe, after another batch of antibiotic.
Did Bhuta Shuddi.
As I start on Bhuta, suddenly tot of the former office unreasonableness come in, defensive tots arises. It went on and on..In the end I told myself not worth it and it stop.
Besides today I m not feeling well, so no the right time to act.
Shakti was quite good despite stopping a few times for phelgm and cough.
There were some tots of housekeeping costs. Family to share in it and etc.
Shambavi..contented silence..followed by mouth 'exercise'. Recently the mouth seems to move on its own.
This week Osho.
1. The Issue
Inner Voice
There are times in our lives when too many voices seem to be pulling us this way and that. Our very confusion in such situations is a reminder to seek silence and centering within. Only then are we able to hear our truth.
soul
True..the office matter still not settled..
The condo is settling soon...so at least I have my peace..but then tots of expenditure comes in.
I am reminding myself to keep cool and to tell myself I truly have the money.
Yes..I am keeping 2 house..but at least I don't plan to pay the monthly 500 now that I am paying for the house expenses.
Also going forward..I don't see myself coming back for dinner.
I normally have dinner after my sadhana...so lets see..
I actually prefer light sandwiches..or even fruits.
Will need a smart TV. Most likely won't take the local paid broadcast TV but do online TV instead like my sisters.
Yea..too many voices...
2. Internal Influences that you are unable to see
Ordinariness
You are facing a time now when this easy, natural and utterly ordinary approach to the situations you encounter will bring far better results than any attempt on your part to be brilliant, clever, or otherwise extra-ordinary. Forget all about making headlines by inventing the latest widget, or dazzling your friends and colleagues with your unique star quality. The special gift you have to offer now is presented best by just taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Soul
Good la..
3. 3. External influences that you are aware
Past lives
This is a wake-up call; the events in your life are trying to show you a pattern as ancient as the journey of your own soul.
Soul
Not sure..but at least I am sick as I was back in 2012.
4. Whats needed for resolution?
Laziness
This gentleman clearly thinks he's got it made. He sits in his big over-stuffed chair, wearing his sunglasses, shaded by his umbrella, with his pink slippers and his piña colada in his hand. He doesn't have the energy to get up and do anything because he thinks he's done it already. He hasn't yet turned to see the mirror cracking around him on his right, a sure sign that the place he thinks he's finally arrived at is about to shatter and dissolve before his very eyes. The message this card brings is that this poolside resort is not your final destination. The journey isn't over yet, as that white bird flying into the vastness of the sky is trying to show. Your complacency might have arisen from a real sense of achievement, but now it's time to move on. No matter how fuzzy the slippers, how tasty the piña colada, there are skies upon skies still waiting to be explored.
Soul
Not sure...
Yesterday boss message about us taking over sister company financials..not sure if it is true..
So many things in dilemma..
5. Resolution
Creativity
From the alchemy of fire and water below to the divine light entering from above, the figure in this card is literally 'possessed by' the creative force. Really, the experience of creativity is an entry into the mysterious. Technique, expertise and knowledge are just tools; the key is to abandon oneself to the energy that fuels the birth of all things. This energy has no form or structure, yet all the forms and structures come out of it. It makes no difference what particular form your creativity takes - it can be painting or singing, planting a garden or making a meal. The important thing is to be open to what wants to be expressed through you. Remember that we don't possess our creations; they do not belong to us. True creativity arises from a union with the divine, with the mystical and the unknowable. Then it is both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.
Soul
Despite me being sick...at least I tot about the Isha volunteering..corporate reachout...
Woke up intermittently yesterday coughing and nose blocked.
Woke up in the morning upon alarm at 7 am. Body is good but I slept back cos no plan to do Hata Yoga.
Must be because of Sannidhi...the energy helps.
Now at cafe, after another batch of antibiotic.
Did Bhuta Shuddi.
As I start on Bhuta, suddenly tot of the former office unreasonableness come in, defensive tots arises. It went on and on..In the end I told myself not worth it and it stop.
Besides today I m not feeling well, so no the right time to act.
Shakti was quite good despite stopping a few times for phelgm and cough.
There were some tots of housekeeping costs. Family to share in it and etc.
Shambavi..contented silence..followed by mouth 'exercise'. Recently the mouth seems to move on its own.
This week Osho.
1. The Issue
Inner Voice
There are times in our lives when too many voices seem to be pulling us this way and that. Our very confusion in such situations is a reminder to seek silence and centering within. Only then are we able to hear our truth.
soul
True..the office matter still not settled..
The condo is settling soon...so at least I have my peace..but then tots of expenditure comes in.
I am reminding myself to keep cool and to tell myself I truly have the money.
Yes..I am keeping 2 house..but at least I don't plan to pay the monthly 500 now that I am paying for the house expenses.
Also going forward..I don't see myself coming back for dinner.
I normally have dinner after my sadhana...so lets see..
I actually prefer light sandwiches..or even fruits.
Will need a smart TV. Most likely won't take the local paid broadcast TV but do online TV instead like my sisters.
Yea..too many voices...
2. Internal Influences that you are unable to see
Ordinariness
You are facing a time now when this easy, natural and utterly ordinary approach to the situations you encounter will bring far better results than any attempt on your part to be brilliant, clever, or otherwise extra-ordinary. Forget all about making headlines by inventing the latest widget, or dazzling your friends and colleagues with your unique star quality. The special gift you have to offer now is presented best by just taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Soul
Good la..
3. 3. External influences that you are aware
Past lives
This is a wake-up call; the events in your life are trying to show you a pattern as ancient as the journey of your own soul.
Soul
Not sure..but at least I am sick as I was back in 2012.
4. Whats needed for resolution?
Laziness
This gentleman clearly thinks he's got it made. He sits in his big over-stuffed chair, wearing his sunglasses, shaded by his umbrella, with his pink slippers and his piña colada in his hand. He doesn't have the energy to get up and do anything because he thinks he's done it already. He hasn't yet turned to see the mirror cracking around him on his right, a sure sign that the place he thinks he's finally arrived at is about to shatter and dissolve before his very eyes. The message this card brings is that this poolside resort is not your final destination. The journey isn't over yet, as that white bird flying into the vastness of the sky is trying to show. Your complacency might have arisen from a real sense of achievement, but now it's time to move on. No matter how fuzzy the slippers, how tasty the piña colada, there are skies upon skies still waiting to be explored.
Soul
Not sure...
Yesterday boss message about us taking over sister company financials..not sure if it is true..
So many things in dilemma..
5. Resolution
Creativity
From the alchemy of fire and water below to the divine light entering from above, the figure in this card is literally 'possessed by' the creative force. Really, the experience of creativity is an entry into the mysterious. Technique, expertise and knowledge are just tools; the key is to abandon oneself to the energy that fuels the birth of all things. This energy has no form or structure, yet all the forms and structures come out of it. It makes no difference what particular form your creativity takes - it can be painting or singing, planting a garden or making a meal. The important thing is to be open to what wants to be expressed through you. Remember that we don't possess our creations; they do not belong to us. True creativity arises from a union with the divine, with the mystical and the unknowable. Then it is both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.
Soul
Despite me being sick...at least I tot about the Isha volunteering..corporate reachout...
Feeling sick but Sadhana is on
May 19
Woke up at 3 plus am cos slept at 10 am. The cold pill helps. Slept back and finally woke up 5 plus before alarm.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by a long cat stretch. It was good as right elbow not inflamed.
Then proceed to Breathing meditation. At first bit difficulty due to blocked nose. After awhile went in. It was nice. Sat for a long while.
Did Shakti. Was able to do slow Kapala Bhakti and surprisingly right foot not hurting. Sequential counting helps in focus. Rest one time.
Towards the end dancing abc singing in the mind. Throat was too dry to sing. Wonder if the magnetic house slipper is helping my feet.
Shambavi was good. Just sat in contented silence for a long while.
Feeling tired. First time having flu with running nose and dry cough. It hurts both my throat and chest when I cough out the thick phlegm. Wonder when I be over this. Started since Saturday and it just worsen. Truly wish my immune system can fight. Have not been taking RA pills for 2 days. So far no inflammation. That's a good sign.
Found out that loan be disbursed by mid next month. So everything be completed by then. Renovation start in early July. So that be good.
Secrets of Yoga
A man who has felt his being, is not in need of any encouragement. Try to feel urself. All encouragement, all inspiration, is dangerous - it puffs u up. The ego enjoys it's very much but ego is ur illness. U don't need encouragement; u need understanding, u need clarity to see.
There is no need to compete with anybody, there is no need prove.
May 19 eve
Now waiting for do doctor. Feel sick. Reminds me of the worst time I was sick in Germany.
Woke up at 3 plus am cos slept at 10 am. The cold pill helps. Slept back and finally woke up 5 plus before alarm.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by a long cat stretch. It was good as right elbow not inflamed.
Then proceed to Breathing meditation. At first bit difficulty due to blocked nose. After awhile went in. It was nice. Sat for a long while.
Did Shakti. Was able to do slow Kapala Bhakti and surprisingly right foot not hurting. Sequential counting helps in focus. Rest one time.
Towards the end dancing abc singing in the mind. Throat was too dry to sing. Wonder if the magnetic house slipper is helping my feet.
Shambavi was good. Just sat in contented silence for a long while.
Feeling tired. First time having flu with running nose and dry cough. It hurts both my throat and chest when I cough out the thick phlegm. Wonder when I be over this. Started since Saturday and it just worsen. Truly wish my immune system can fight. Have not been taking RA pills for 2 days. So far no inflammation. That's a good sign.
Found out that loan be disbursed by mid next month. So everything be completed by then. Renovation start in early July. So that be good.
Secrets of Yoga
A man who has felt his being, is not in need of any encouragement. Try to feel urself. All encouragement, all inspiration, is dangerous - it puffs u up. The ego enjoys it's very much but ego is ur illness. U don't need encouragement; u need understanding, u need clarity to see.
There is no need to compete with anybody, there is no need prove.
May 19 eve
Now waiting for do doctor. Feel sick. Reminds me of the worst time I was sick in Germany.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Osho - similar to Samyama
May 18
Woke up upon alarm at 5 plus. Didn't sleep well yesterday cos blocked breathe. I think I slept around 12 am. Body still not good but at least throat not so painful thanks to tumeric and neem. Took a few dosage yesterday. Asked my maid to take and she too said its good.
Looks like my leisure breakfast day is over. Now just prefer to sleep an hour later. Also bit of time with nephews.
Did Bhuta shuddhi followed by Cat stretch. Didn't do hata yoga as back not healed yet.
Shakti was okay considering I can't breathe well. Now do the sequential counting instead of every ten and that helps in focus.
Shambavi was okay. Towards the end contented silence. Sat on my little pillow today. I enjoyed the contented silence. No tots, not song. Just silence.
Hope to recover soon. Prefer not to go to doctor. The old me would have gone immediately. But now I m reluctant to take western medicine. Can't avoid for RA. But may look into Vitamin C.
Secrets of Yoga
Don't say anything to the mind, because the sayer is the mind. U rather be silent and listen; in silence, there is no mind. In small gaps, when there is no word, there is no mind. Mind is absolutely linguistic - it is language. So start slipping into the gaps.
No tension. Just be completely at ease.
Prepare ur self slowly and one day you will realise u are neither the body nor the mind - nor even the self, the soul. U r tremendous emptiness, a nothingness - a no-thingness. U r without boundary, with no limitation, with no definition. In that utter silence, one comes to the perfection, to the very peak of life, of existence.
Soul
Yes. Savour the silence.
Similar to Samyama.
Woke up upon alarm at 5 plus. Didn't sleep well yesterday cos blocked breathe. I think I slept around 12 am. Body still not good but at least throat not so painful thanks to tumeric and neem. Took a few dosage yesterday. Asked my maid to take and she too said its good.
Looks like my leisure breakfast day is over. Now just prefer to sleep an hour later. Also bit of time with nephews.
Did Bhuta shuddhi followed by Cat stretch. Didn't do hata yoga as back not healed yet.
Shakti was okay considering I can't breathe well. Now do the sequential counting instead of every ten and that helps in focus.
Shambavi was okay. Towards the end contented silence. Sat on my little pillow today. I enjoyed the contented silence. No tots, not song. Just silence.
Hope to recover soon. Prefer not to go to doctor. The old me would have gone immediately. But now I m reluctant to take western medicine. Can't avoid for RA. But may look into Vitamin C.
Secrets of Yoga
Don't say anything to the mind, because the sayer is the mind. U rather be silent and listen; in silence, there is no mind. In small gaps, when there is no word, there is no mind. Mind is absolutely linguistic - it is language. So start slipping into the gaps.
No tension. Just be completely at ease.
Prepare ur self slowly and one day you will realise u are neither the body nor the mind - nor even the self, the soul. U r tremendous emptiness, a nothingness - a no-thingness. U r without boundary, with no limitation, with no definition. In that utter silence, one comes to the perfection, to the very peak of life, of existence.
Soul
Yes. Savour the silence.
Similar to Samyama.
Keeping to my values
May 17
It was a tired day yesterday as I had to attend volunteer meeting. Did enjoy myself.
But I know that I wouldn't join if not for my 'baby' calling.
I no longer seek group validation...so not keen on group volunteering.
But Sathsang is a must..as a participant.
Many people came for Sannidhi pooja at studio. Managed to recruit another Isha volunteer.
Sannidhi pooja truly opens up people.
Today walk in the park..was good.
Just walking and not thinking much..
Savouring the time of not much tots.
I read recently that with meditation, the tots processes lessen.
Hope so...
Amen.
It was a tired day yesterday as I had to attend volunteer meeting. Did enjoy myself.
But I know that I wouldn't join if not for my 'baby' calling.
I no longer seek group validation...so not keen on group volunteering.
But Sathsang is a must..as a participant.
Many people came for Sannidhi pooja at studio. Managed to recruit another Isha volunteer.
Sannidhi pooja truly opens up people.
Today walk in the park..was good.
Just walking and not thinking much..
Savouring the time of not much tots.
I read recently that with meditation, the tots processes lessen.
Hope so...
Amen.
Going to have a good airy Sadhana room
May 15 aft
My Next Year Card
The Ten of Spades
The Ten of Spades is one of the best cards for success and satisfaction in your work and in health, though you may also expect to work very hard when it is present. Overcoming of all obstacles in work and health are the attributes of this card.
Like the Ten of Wands in the Tarot deck, your work may often seem to be a burden under this card's influence, or you may become obsessed with all the things that you have to do. This card can be a 'workaholic' kind of influence. However, if you have a list of specific goals and want to achieve them successfully, there is hardly a better card to have in your reading than this one.
Soul
So we should be having many contract for me to nego...
Or maybe I be meeting clients with him.
Actually with local boss gone,...I may have a chance to go in deeper into this business.
With local boss, she doesn't let me in...I am not sure if she is being considerate so as I need not have to do more work or she don't want me in because....anyway..last time I wasn't ready.
But I think I am now..
I am ready to elevate my role here and I want to get a good increment too..
3. External influences that you are aware
Adventure
When we are truly in a spirit of adventure, we are moving just like this child. Full of trust, out of the darkness of the forest into the rainbow of the light, we go step by step, drawn by our sense of wonder into the unknown. Adventure really has nothing to do with plans and maps and programs and organization. The Page of Rainbows represents a quality that can come to us anywhere - at home or in the office, in the wilderness or in the city, in a creative project or in our relationships with others. Whenever we move into the new and unknown with the trusting spirit of a child, innocent and open and vulnerable, even the smallest things of life can become the greatest adventures.
Soul
Not sure if my new adventure with the new team or if J still staying.
But I know J will take my input...lets see. But the problem is that he can't bring in people..and that will be a major disadvantage if we want to revive. Also the existing team can't get along with him, so issue on retention too.
4. Whats’ needed for resolution?
Letting go
To choose this card is a recognition that something is finished, something is completing. Whatever it is--a job, a relationship, a home you have loved, anything that might have helped you to define who you are--it is time to let go of it, allowing any sadness but not trying to hold on. Something greater is awaiting you, new dimensions are there to be discovered. You are past the point of no return now, and gravity is doing its work. Go with it--it represents liberation.
Soul
This time my value is clear.
I chose Isha for the sadhana. In volunteering..I am only doing promotion.
Hence able to dissolve in the short dilemma on whether to attend the Family Day vs my class in Angamardhana.
I am not keen on hands on volunteering so able to say no the Yoga day volunteering meeting.
When P asked me about volunteering for Guru Pooja..my immediate reaction is nope. Not keen. I want to be participant. Hope they let me in..since I haven't 'pass' and my last session was back in 2009...many years ago unlike the newbies who did in late 2013.
I want to be responsible for my work. It bring me the income to do what I want..the freedom for sadhana and comfort living.
But at my own pace. I can't do crazy phase anymore as I tired easily due to my RA.
Besides I am nearly 48....should be on semi retirement mode
I want my new condo to reflect my values..thats my Sadhana cum shrine room.
And its 'open' for viewing by the glass window'..can have blinds to close up during sadhana.
It also has a collapsible door that enable me to open the door so the wind and akash can come into the shrine place. I want my shrine to experience the wind and energy...truly cloud view.
Alas..will be living my true values soon.
5. Resolution
Laziness
This gentleman clearly thinks he's got it made. He sits in his big over-stuffed chair, wearing his sunglasses, shaded by his umbrella, with his pink slippers and his piña colada in his hand. He doesn't have the energy to get up and do anything because he thinks he's done it already. He hasn't yet turned to see the mirror cracking around him on his right, a sure sign that the place he thinks he's finally arrived at is about to shatter and dissolve before his very eyes. The message this card brings is that this poolside resort is not your final destination. The journey isn't over yet, as that white bird flying into the vastness of the sky is trying to show. Your complacency might have arisen from a real sense of achievement, but now it's time to move on. No matter how fuzzy the slippers, how tasty the piña colada, there are skies upon skies still waiting to be explored.
Soul
This definitely about the work.
I tot I can rest on my laurel..but it is not so...
Company going through total revamp...and this time I am staying put.
Working with new team..and taking bigger role.
My Next Year Card
The Ten of Spades
The Ten of Spades is one of the best cards for success and satisfaction in your work and in health, though you may also expect to work very hard when it is present. Overcoming of all obstacles in work and health are the attributes of this card.
Like the Ten of Wands in the Tarot deck, your work may often seem to be a burden under this card's influence, or you may become obsessed with all the things that you have to do. This card can be a 'workaholic' kind of influence. However, if you have a list of specific goals and want to achieve them successfully, there is hardly a better card to have in your reading than this one.
Soul
So we should be having many contract for me to nego...
Or maybe I be meeting clients with him.
Actually with local boss gone,...I may have a chance to go in deeper into this business.
With local boss, she doesn't let me in...I am not sure if she is being considerate so as I need not have to do more work or she don't want me in because....anyway..last time I wasn't ready.
But I think I am now..
I am ready to elevate my role here and I want to get a good increment too..
3. External influences that you are aware
Adventure
When we are truly in a spirit of adventure, we are moving just like this child. Full of trust, out of the darkness of the forest into the rainbow of the light, we go step by step, drawn by our sense of wonder into the unknown. Adventure really has nothing to do with plans and maps and programs and organization. The Page of Rainbows represents a quality that can come to us anywhere - at home or in the office, in the wilderness or in the city, in a creative project or in our relationships with others. Whenever we move into the new and unknown with the trusting spirit of a child, innocent and open and vulnerable, even the smallest things of life can become the greatest adventures.
Soul
Not sure if my new adventure with the new team or if J still staying.
But I know J will take my input...lets see. But the problem is that he can't bring in people..and that will be a major disadvantage if we want to revive. Also the existing team can't get along with him, so issue on retention too.
4. Whats’ needed for resolution?
Letting go
To choose this card is a recognition that something is finished, something is completing. Whatever it is--a job, a relationship, a home you have loved, anything that might have helped you to define who you are--it is time to let go of it, allowing any sadness but not trying to hold on. Something greater is awaiting you, new dimensions are there to be discovered. You are past the point of no return now, and gravity is doing its work. Go with it--it represents liberation.
Soul
This time my value is clear.
I chose Isha for the sadhana. In volunteering..I am only doing promotion.
Hence able to dissolve in the short dilemma on whether to attend the Family Day vs my class in Angamardhana.
I am not keen on hands on volunteering so able to say no the Yoga day volunteering meeting.
When P asked me about volunteering for Guru Pooja..my immediate reaction is nope. Not keen. I want to be participant. Hope they let me in..since I haven't 'pass' and my last session was back in 2009...many years ago unlike the newbies who did in late 2013.
I want to be responsible for my work. It bring me the income to do what I want..the freedom for sadhana and comfort living.
But at my own pace. I can't do crazy phase anymore as I tired easily due to my RA.
Besides I am nearly 48....should be on semi retirement mode
I want my new condo to reflect my values..thats my Sadhana cum shrine room.
And its 'open' for viewing by the glass window'..can have blinds to close up during sadhana.
It also has a collapsible door that enable me to open the door so the wind and akash can come into the shrine place. I want my shrine to experience the wind and energy...truly cloud view.
Alas..will be living my true values soon.
5. Resolution
Laziness
This gentleman clearly thinks he's got it made. He sits in his big over-stuffed chair, wearing his sunglasses, shaded by his umbrella, with his pink slippers and his piña colada in his hand. He doesn't have the energy to get up and do anything because he thinks he's done it already. He hasn't yet turned to see the mirror cracking around him on his right, a sure sign that the place he thinks he's finally arrived at is about to shatter and dissolve before his very eyes. The message this card brings is that this poolside resort is not your final destination. The journey isn't over yet, as that white bird flying into the vastness of the sky is trying to show. Your complacency might have arisen from a real sense of achievement, but now it's time to move on. No matter how fuzzy the slippers, how tasty the piña colada, there are skies upon skies still waiting to be explored.
Soul
This definitely about the work.
I tot I can rest on my laurel..but it is not so...
Company going through total revamp...and this time I am staying put.
Working with new team..and taking bigger role.
Neem and tumeric is good for RA inflammation
May 15
Woke up at 6.30 am...but not so keen to wake up.
Doze bit till nearly 7 plus am.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by Surya Kriya. On the preparatory steps of butterfly, I realised that if I bring my knee higher, can feel the pressure in the groin. Also will need to do it slow..
61 points awareness meditation has been back this whole week. Can now just be aware of most of my points.
Breathing was nice.
Shakti not so great. Getting back to old fast mode of Kapala Bhakti. Truly slow is better. Did manage to slow down in third cycle. I was surprised that some animal noise came out at the end of Kapala Bhakti.
Took two stops cos right foot hurting. Despite thinking not good. Towards the end I was singing.
Shambavi was good. Towards the end my face scrunch.
In the end singing. And some face scrunching followed by silence.
Because the lymphatic system has no pump, it is necessary for each individual to maintain a regular amount of activity that will serve to move the lymph. While the circulatory system relies on the heart to move the blood 24/7, the lymphatic system relies on body movement, especially walking.
When performed in the clean fresh air of nature, this simple exercise can produce other health benefits as well.
“When you walk at a brisk pace your legs provide a natural pumping action which serves to move the lymph through the lymphatic system. This is significant because the lymphatic system has no pump as the circulatory system has a heart to pump blood. Therefore, we understand that the upper half of the body also requires some assistance.
The best way to perform a power-walk so that it really does serve this function is to move the arms as vigorously as the legs. That’s right, you want to move those arms like an Olympic athlete – back and forth – up and down – side to side – just move ’em. This will function as the upper pump for the lymphatic system.”
Soul
Good..will take note to swing arms during my Sunday morning walk.
1. Vitamin D
Boosting your levels of vitamin D has dozens of benefits, and research shows that this sunshine vitamin also reduces the chances of developing the common cold as well as the flu. [2] The vitamin, which is produced by the body in response to sunlight exposure, increases immune cell activity, reduces toxicity, and lowers the inflammatory response.
Soul
Didn't know this. Can now take with regularly instead of procrastination on alternate days
3. Turmeric
Turmeric is a yellow and mellow-tasting spice highly prized for its use in Indian cuisine and natural medicine. You can find the root in its whole form at some specialty supermarkets, and the powder can also be found in most spice sections at common grocery stores. It’s rich in antioxidants, one aspect that may aid in improving and protecting immunity. [5] Also, turmeric has been shown to protect defenses from fungal and bacterial compounds. [6] For a cold-fighting tea, place 1/4 tsp. of turmeric powder in eight ounces of hot water. Drink this mixture often throughout the autumn and winter seasons. As a gentle food, turmeric may also help soothe a sore throat. Simply combine 1/2 tsp. turmeric with 1 tbsp. of raw, local honey and consume slowly to coat the throat.
8. Neem
The essential oil of the neem plant is a very strong antimicrobial agent, helpful for destroying a wide range of bacteria. Used for centuries in India as a germicide and pesticide, neem oil can help ease inflammation and decrease the proliferation of infectious bacteria in the body. [16]
Soul
Looks like neem and tumeric good for me. Instead of taking it 3 or 4 times a week.
Will now put it upstairs to drink daily before sadhana.
5. Vitamin C
If you have a lingering cold that just won’t go away, or if you experience colds frequently throughout the year, chances are you are not getting enough vitamin C. This important water-soluble nutrient is found in high amounts in green vegetables and citrus fruits and is crucial for maintaining a healthy immune system. [11] Freshly-squeezed lemon juice or a green smoothie are two excellent ways to receive vitamin C in your diet. Consuming warm herbal tea with lemon juice during a cold or before one sets in may be helpful for reducing its duration.
Soul
Must start to eat this since I don't take raw veg nor much fruits.
One of the thing I want to do is more healthy food life style when I shift to my new space.
Woke up at 6.30 am...but not so keen to wake up.
Doze bit till nearly 7 plus am.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by Surya Kriya. On the preparatory steps of butterfly, I realised that if I bring my knee higher, can feel the pressure in the groin. Also will need to do it slow..
61 points awareness meditation has been back this whole week. Can now just be aware of most of my points.
Breathing was nice.
Shakti not so great. Getting back to old fast mode of Kapala Bhakti. Truly slow is better. Did manage to slow down in third cycle. I was surprised that some animal noise came out at the end of Kapala Bhakti.
Took two stops cos right foot hurting. Despite thinking not good. Towards the end I was singing.
Shambavi was good. Towards the end my face scrunch.
In the end singing. And some face scrunching followed by silence.
Because the lymphatic system has no pump, it is necessary for each individual to maintain a regular amount of activity that will serve to move the lymph. While the circulatory system relies on the heart to move the blood 24/7, the lymphatic system relies on body movement, especially walking.
When performed in the clean fresh air of nature, this simple exercise can produce other health benefits as well.
“When you walk at a brisk pace your legs provide a natural pumping action which serves to move the lymph through the lymphatic system. This is significant because the lymphatic system has no pump as the circulatory system has a heart to pump blood. Therefore, we understand that the upper half of the body also requires some assistance.
The best way to perform a power-walk so that it really does serve this function is to move the arms as vigorously as the legs. That’s right, you want to move those arms like an Olympic athlete – back and forth – up and down – side to side – just move ’em. This will function as the upper pump for the lymphatic system.”
Soul
Good..will take note to swing arms during my Sunday morning walk.
1. Vitamin D
Boosting your levels of vitamin D has dozens of benefits, and research shows that this sunshine vitamin also reduces the chances of developing the common cold as well as the flu. [2] The vitamin, which is produced by the body in response to sunlight exposure, increases immune cell activity, reduces toxicity, and lowers the inflammatory response.
Soul
Didn't know this. Can now take with regularly instead of procrastination on alternate days
3. Turmeric
Turmeric is a yellow and mellow-tasting spice highly prized for its use in Indian cuisine and natural medicine. You can find the root in its whole form at some specialty supermarkets, and the powder can also be found in most spice sections at common grocery stores. It’s rich in antioxidants, one aspect that may aid in improving and protecting immunity. [5] Also, turmeric has been shown to protect defenses from fungal and bacterial compounds. [6] For a cold-fighting tea, place 1/4 tsp. of turmeric powder in eight ounces of hot water. Drink this mixture often throughout the autumn and winter seasons. As a gentle food, turmeric may also help soothe a sore throat. Simply combine 1/2 tsp. turmeric with 1 tbsp. of raw, local honey and consume slowly to coat the throat.
8. Neem
The essential oil of the neem plant is a very strong antimicrobial agent, helpful for destroying a wide range of bacteria. Used for centuries in India as a germicide and pesticide, neem oil can help ease inflammation and decrease the proliferation of infectious bacteria in the body. [16]
Soul
Looks like neem and tumeric good for me. Instead of taking it 3 or 4 times a week.
Will now put it upstairs to drink daily before sadhana.
5. Vitamin C
If you have a lingering cold that just won’t go away, or if you experience colds frequently throughout the year, chances are you are not getting enough vitamin C. This important water-soluble nutrient is found in high amounts in green vegetables and citrus fruits and is crucial for maintaining a healthy immune system. [11] Freshly-squeezed lemon juice or a green smoothie are two excellent ways to receive vitamin C in your diet. Consuming warm herbal tea with lemon juice during a cold or before one sets in may be helpful for reducing its duration.
Soul
Must start to eat this since I don't take raw veg nor much fruits.
One of the thing I want to do is more healthy food life style when I shift to my new space.
Feeling sad that my new sadhana room not airy
May 13
Went to condo. Nice view and airy. It was 1 plus pm and place is cool and airy.
Dining with the sofa bench oversees the balcony view. So nice.
All the bathroom intact. Good that bedroom flooding can be refurbished and kitchen tiles and back splash remains. Just need to paint the kitchen cabinets.
So will be laminated timber for living and sadhana room.
Only thing sad is the Sadhana room to be converted from the Wardrobe cum store. No ventilation.
Just now cried when doing Sannidhi Pooja. Today back to those normal Pooja.
Did only one cycle of Devi chant cos disturb over the Sadhana room.
Was surprised that I went into deep Shoonya. After Shoonya, clean slate again. No more disturbance. Went deep into breathing mode. Lots of shaking.
After Sadhana, shared with L that I m sad over the Sadhana room. I asked her to see what can be done. I want the sadhana room to be airy, to share the wind..
The renovation costs is quite heavy and my money issue start to tick. I remind myself I have the money; will just be reduced saving. That's my key word; I have.
From facebook. Wayne Dyer
Feeling abundant surpasses the money in ur bank account and transcends what others may think of you.
Yes. Abundance; my key. I recalled my Superpower report. It said that my affirmation; I have abundance of orgasm and money.
Mmm, Ace of Diamonds, love and money.
Okay, 50k from saving and 30k from bonus. I do really have. Next year no bonus. Never mind; be thankful that it came when I want it.
Went to condo. Nice view and airy. It was 1 plus pm and place is cool and airy.
Dining with the sofa bench oversees the balcony view. So nice.
All the bathroom intact. Good that bedroom flooding can be refurbished and kitchen tiles and back splash remains. Just need to paint the kitchen cabinets.
So will be laminated timber for living and sadhana room.
Only thing sad is the Sadhana room to be converted from the Wardrobe cum store. No ventilation.
Just now cried when doing Sannidhi Pooja. Today back to those normal Pooja.
Did only one cycle of Devi chant cos disturb over the Sadhana room.
Was surprised that I went into deep Shoonya. After Shoonya, clean slate again. No more disturbance. Went deep into breathing mode. Lots of shaking.
After Sadhana, shared with L that I m sad over the Sadhana room. I asked her to see what can be done. I want the sadhana room to be airy, to share the wind..
The renovation costs is quite heavy and my money issue start to tick. I remind myself I have the money; will just be reduced saving. That's my key word; I have.
From facebook. Wayne Dyer
Feeling abundant surpasses the money in ur bank account and transcends what others may think of you.
Yes. Abundance; my key. I recalled my Superpower report. It said that my affirmation; I have abundance of orgasm and money.
Mmm, Ace of Diamonds, love and money.
Okay, 50k from saving and 30k from bonus. I do really have. Next year no bonus. Never mind; be thankful that it came when I want it.
If I am unhappy, don't do it
May 12 eve
Sadhguru
Desire for everything
The very process of life is a longing. The very source of life is a longing. What we are essentially doing in Bhava Spandana is to take u back to that raw longing, not for anything or anyone, but simply a longing for something far bigger than yourself.
A longing that this body cannot contain, a longing that the mind cannot play tricks with because it is larger than you. Just moving with it is a beautiful experience. This is what love means, this is what devotion means, this is what meditation means - to become that unadulterated longing, because life itself is a longing.
Only the infinite will settle this longing of life. If u stay with this fundamental longing, u are naturally spiritual.
Soul
No wonder the Shrine makes me feel complete. No wonder I feel Home when I m with Sannidhi. I found my Home. I found my Love.
Sadhguru
What are u working hard for? If it is hard, give it up. If you do it joyfully, do it. Otherwise do not do it. If u are going to make urself miserable in the process of working, what is the use is ur work to urself or to anyone else.
If u are going to make it so hard for urself, I am sure u will be making it hard for everyone. If u are going to spread joy in the world, go and do as much as u can. If u are going to spread misery in the world, it is better u do not do anything.
Soul
Yes. My biggest breakthrough was to removed myself from local Isha core team.
I started out of responsibility. Then got attached to it. Stayed on out fear of losing validation.
Then tears of frustration and resentment.
Alas now freed myself making myself happy and others can be freed of being affected by me and grow fast. In reality I was hindering their growth.
Soul
Just now I invited a couple of people to Sannidhi Pooja. That's makes me happy. I knew then I need not go to the Family Day and disrupt my plan for Angamardhana and Sannidhi. I do my own thingy and offer myself willingly.
Again must remember to be happy. If unhappy don't do, cos I won't be spreading joy. I be spreading something else. Guess again that was my Saturn (should) vs Sun (being). Time to learn what makes me happy may not get me validation. But what's important at me being happy on my own instead of working to be happy with obtaining validation.
Sadhguru
Desire for everything
The very process of life is a longing. The very source of life is a longing. What we are essentially doing in Bhava Spandana is to take u back to that raw longing, not for anything or anyone, but simply a longing for something far bigger than yourself.
A longing that this body cannot contain, a longing that the mind cannot play tricks with because it is larger than you. Just moving with it is a beautiful experience. This is what love means, this is what devotion means, this is what meditation means - to become that unadulterated longing, because life itself is a longing.
Only the infinite will settle this longing of life. If u stay with this fundamental longing, u are naturally spiritual.
Soul
No wonder the Shrine makes me feel complete. No wonder I feel Home when I m with Sannidhi. I found my Home. I found my Love.
Sadhguru
What are u working hard for? If it is hard, give it up. If you do it joyfully, do it. Otherwise do not do it. If u are going to make urself miserable in the process of working, what is the use is ur work to urself or to anyone else.
If u are going to make it so hard for urself, I am sure u will be making it hard for everyone. If u are going to spread joy in the world, go and do as much as u can. If u are going to spread misery in the world, it is better u do not do anything.
Soul
Yes. My biggest breakthrough was to removed myself from local Isha core team.
I started out of responsibility. Then got attached to it. Stayed on out fear of losing validation.
Then tears of frustration and resentment.
Alas now freed myself making myself happy and others can be freed of being affected by me and grow fast. In reality I was hindering their growth.
Soul
Just now I invited a couple of people to Sannidhi Pooja. That's makes me happy. I knew then I need not go to the Family Day and disrupt my plan for Angamardhana and Sannidhi. I do my own thingy and offer myself willingly.
Again must remember to be happy. If unhappy don't do, cos I won't be spreading joy. I be spreading something else. Guess again that was my Saturn (should) vs Sun (being). Time to learn what makes me happy may not get me validation. But what's important at me being happy on my own instead of working to be happy with obtaining validation.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Sadness
May 12
http://www.mattlicataphd.com/blog
Sadness
But what if sadness were a very legitimate and valid experience, in fact a harbinger of integration? What if it were a very alive portal into presence, into the breaking open of your heart, and into a wild sort of compassion and connection? What if the freedom you are so longing for will never arise from understanding, 'transforming,' or even 'healing' the uninvited pure guest of sadness, but by entering into relationship with it? By practicing kindness toward it? By providing a sanctuary for it in which it may reveal its sacred gifts?
What if sadness was a messenger sent by some part of you that was longing to be met, finally arising into the light of your awareness to be integrated into the wholeness that you are? What if sadness was never the problem after all, but only the abandonment of it?
As a sensitive, alive human being, it is likely sadness will come knocking from time to time, arriving at the threshold of your heart seeking admittance into the majesty that you are. Before you send it away, become aggressive toward it, deny it or urgently seek relief from it, please take a moment and see. Is sadness an obstacle on your path, or is it the path itself?
In just one radiant here and now moment, you can infuse the energy we call 'sadness' with your presence, with the light of your awareness, and hold it as you would an orphaned child. Stay with your sadness and allow it to reveal its essence, its nature, and its illumination upon you. For it is a very important portal into aliveness, intimacy, and connection, and a golden doorway into the mysteries of separation and union.
http://www.mattlicataphd.com/blog
Sadness
But what if sadness were a very legitimate and valid experience, in fact a harbinger of integration? What if it were a very alive portal into presence, into the breaking open of your heart, and into a wild sort of compassion and connection? What if the freedom you are so longing for will never arise from understanding, 'transforming,' or even 'healing' the uninvited pure guest of sadness, but by entering into relationship with it? By practicing kindness toward it? By providing a sanctuary for it in which it may reveal its sacred gifts?
What if sadness was a messenger sent by some part of you that was longing to be met, finally arising into the light of your awareness to be integrated into the wholeness that you are? What if sadness was never the problem after all, but only the abandonment of it?
As a sensitive, alive human being, it is likely sadness will come knocking from time to time, arriving at the threshold of your heart seeking admittance into the majesty that you are. Before you send it away, become aggressive toward it, deny it or urgently seek relief from it, please take a moment and see. Is sadness an obstacle on your path, or is it the path itself?
In just one radiant here and now moment, you can infuse the energy we call 'sadness' with your presence, with the light of your awareness, and hold it as you would an orphaned child. Stay with your sadness and allow it to reveal its essence, its nature, and its illumination upon you. For it is a very important portal into aliveness, intimacy, and connection, and a golden doorway into the mysteries of separation and union.
Sadhguru - joy only possible within u
May 11 eve
Sannidhi Pooja was good. During Pooja song just sat contently. During Brahmananda chanting the human voice came. These time I m okay. I just let them come out and I took over when I want to. After that silent contentment took over. I sat till 6.52 pm. That's a record. Just font want to get up.
Linga chanting can only do one cycle. Shoonya went in deep.
Sadhguru
There is no joy in the world. There is no joy in the soil u walk on, no joy in the air and believe me no joy in heaven.
Joy is only possible within you. When it happening within u it feels the whole world is full of joy because u are full of joy.
Soul
Tot of me and my self judgement. Finally can see it. No wonder I see the world as suffering cos I m always making myself small, incomplete.
This week family day. The first answer is nope cos I got my day plan. Also food issue since I can't eat after 11 am. And I m also not into volunteering for Yoga day. I will be there for interaction only.
But then the other side said I must go cos others expect it or maybe I want to feel needed. Not sure. Then when I tot of going I judge myself for needing others.
Such a losing game.
Sannidhi Pooja was good. During Pooja song just sat contently. During Brahmananda chanting the human voice came. These time I m okay. I just let them come out and I took over when I want to. After that silent contentment took over. I sat till 6.52 pm. That's a record. Just font want to get up.
Linga chanting can only do one cycle. Shoonya went in deep.
Sadhguru
There is no joy in the world. There is no joy in the soil u walk on, no joy in the air and believe me no joy in heaven.
Joy is only possible within you. When it happening within u it feels the whole world is full of joy because u are full of joy.
Soul
Tot of me and my self judgement. Finally can see it. No wonder I see the world as suffering cos I m always making myself small, incomplete.
This week family day. The first answer is nope cos I got my day plan. Also food issue since I can't eat after 11 am. And I m also not into volunteering for Yoga day. I will be there for interaction only.
But then the other side said I must go cos others expect it or maybe I want to feel needed. Not sure. Then when I tot of going I judge myself for needing others.
Such a losing game.
Negative self judgement - Sun in Saturn
May 11 aft
Was updating my blog
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/you-have-value-can-be-happy-regardless-of-relationship-status/
3. Your emotional well-being does not depend on any external circumstance.
At any given moment, I have the ability to choose a positive emotional state. I can’t control the way other people act toward me, but I can reframe my belief system to better align with my own self-image. For example, just because someone lashes out or says something hurtful, that doesn’t mean it’s a reflection of me.
Each of us is responsible for our own feelings, and it is our job to rescue ourselves from the pit of despair when we fall in
Soul
The key issue is that I found now that it is I affecting myself by auto-negative judgement.
It is so automatic that I didn't realise and spiral..and most times I blame the other for judgment. But slowly I can now see it was me who was judging myself...
Since it was me who judge myself..then it is up to me to unjudge...
4. Making peace with your past paves the way for a rewarding future.
Forgiveness and acceptance go hand-in-hand with self-love. One of the ways I’ve learned to forgive past hurts is by not taking it personally.
The second principle in Don Miguel Ruiz’s acclaimed book The Four Agreements says it best: “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of other, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
Soul
I am subject to my own projection.
And because I didnt't acknowledge I project it to outside..and it become double.
True there are outside judgement but it was added by my own subconscious self judgement.
I think I may finally see the root of my RA,
Perhaps this is what is means by Sun square Saturn.
Excerpt From: Gargatholil. “Depth Astrology: An Astrological Handbook - Volumes 1-4 (Introduction, Planets in Signs, Planets in Houses, Planets in Aspect).” iBooks.
“The Sun aspecting Saturn brings the self-identity function (symbolized by the Sun) in contact with the function that incorporates limitation, structure and discipline (symbolized by Saturn). The Sun and Saturn, though both “masculine” archetypes, represent opposite ends of that spectrum.
The Sun, associated with the Greco-Roman god, Apollo, symbolizes vitality, vibrant energy, warmth and Being. Saturn, associated with the archetype of the Old Man (“Father Time”), possesses a cold and dry energy that tends to be inflexible and “frozen.” S
aturn is sometimes associated with death and with the quality of lifelessness. Its association with limitation and restriction contrasts with the positive, active and radiant energy associated with the Sun. The inherent conflicts suggested by the Sun-Saturn contact are exacerbated by the fact that Saturn is traditionally recognized as a “malefic” planet.
The Sun and Saturn represent the two versions of the psychological archetype of the father. The Sun symbolizes a father figure who is generating, vital, emotionally giving and a benevolent authority figure. Saturn, on the other hand, represents a father figure who is stern, emotionally aloof, disciplinary and exacting.”
Excerpt From: Gargatholil. “Depth Astrology: An Astrological Handbook - Volumes 1-4 (Introduction, Planets in Signs, Planets in Houses, Planets in Aspect).” iBooks.
Soul
No wonder..such extreme force and both 'parent' mode.
I think both beat me up.
If I do wrong....Saturn beat me up
If I don't do right....Sun beat me up.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/you-have-value-can-be-happy-regardless-of-relationship-status/
5. Speak and treat yourself with kindness.
Listening to your internal dialogue can be a good way to gauge your level of self-love. Are your thoughts predominantly negative or self-condemning? If they are, your first priority should be to change the way you speak to yourself.
Adopting a set of positive affirmations can transform negative internal dialogue into a more supportive channel of communication with yourself. Some of my favorite affirmations are:
All is well in my world and I encounter love, abundance, and appreciation in every moment.
I accept others just as they are because I accept myself just as I am.
I radiate compassion and love and as a result I receive an endless flow of it back.
Soul
Yesterday special meditation on love relationship.
I now just want to focus on loving myself.
Not to be hard on myself for my failure or lack of success.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/you-have-value-can-be-happy-regardless-of-relationship-status/
Self-love is a regular practice that starts with acceptance. Take the time to align with your inner self and appreciate your strength. Only then can you open up to receiving and giving love to others unconditionally.
If you can be love and accept yourself, you’ll be happy regardless of who chooses to enter or exit your life.
Was updating my blog
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/you-have-value-can-be-happy-regardless-of-relationship-status/
3. Your emotional well-being does not depend on any external circumstance.
At any given moment, I have the ability to choose a positive emotional state. I can’t control the way other people act toward me, but I can reframe my belief system to better align with my own self-image. For example, just because someone lashes out or says something hurtful, that doesn’t mean it’s a reflection of me.
Each of us is responsible for our own feelings, and it is our job to rescue ourselves from the pit of despair when we fall in
Soul
The key issue is that I found now that it is I affecting myself by auto-negative judgement.
It is so automatic that I didn't realise and spiral..and most times I blame the other for judgment. But slowly I can now see it was me who was judging myself...
Since it was me who judge myself..then it is up to me to unjudge...
4. Making peace with your past paves the way for a rewarding future.
Forgiveness and acceptance go hand-in-hand with self-love. One of the ways I’ve learned to forgive past hurts is by not taking it personally.
The second principle in Don Miguel Ruiz’s acclaimed book The Four Agreements says it best: “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of other, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
Soul
I am subject to my own projection.
And because I didnt't acknowledge I project it to outside..and it become double.
True there are outside judgement but it was added by my own subconscious self judgement.
I think I may finally see the root of my RA,
Perhaps this is what is means by Sun square Saturn.
Excerpt From: Gargatholil. “Depth Astrology: An Astrological Handbook - Volumes 1-4 (Introduction, Planets in Signs, Planets in Houses, Planets in Aspect).” iBooks.
“The Sun aspecting Saturn brings the self-identity function (symbolized by the Sun) in contact with the function that incorporates limitation, structure and discipline (symbolized by Saturn). The Sun and Saturn, though both “masculine” archetypes, represent opposite ends of that spectrum.
The Sun, associated with the Greco-Roman god, Apollo, symbolizes vitality, vibrant energy, warmth and Being. Saturn, associated with the archetype of the Old Man (“Father Time”), possesses a cold and dry energy that tends to be inflexible and “frozen.” S
aturn is sometimes associated with death and with the quality of lifelessness. Its association with limitation and restriction contrasts with the positive, active and radiant energy associated with the Sun. The inherent conflicts suggested by the Sun-Saturn contact are exacerbated by the fact that Saturn is traditionally recognized as a “malefic” planet.
The Sun and Saturn represent the two versions of the psychological archetype of the father. The Sun symbolizes a father figure who is generating, vital, emotionally giving and a benevolent authority figure. Saturn, on the other hand, represents a father figure who is stern, emotionally aloof, disciplinary and exacting.”
Excerpt From: Gargatholil. “Depth Astrology: An Astrological Handbook - Volumes 1-4 (Introduction, Planets in Signs, Planets in Houses, Planets in Aspect).” iBooks.
Soul
No wonder..such extreme force and both 'parent' mode.
I think both beat me up.
If I do wrong....Saturn beat me up
If I don't do right....Sun beat me up.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/you-have-value-can-be-happy-regardless-of-relationship-status/
5. Speak and treat yourself with kindness.
Listening to your internal dialogue can be a good way to gauge your level of self-love. Are your thoughts predominantly negative or self-condemning? If they are, your first priority should be to change the way you speak to yourself.
Adopting a set of positive affirmations can transform negative internal dialogue into a more supportive channel of communication with yourself. Some of my favorite affirmations are:
All is well in my world and I encounter love, abundance, and appreciation in every moment.
I accept others just as they are because I accept myself just as I am.
I radiate compassion and love and as a result I receive an endless flow of it back.
Soul
Yesterday special meditation on love relationship.
I now just want to focus on loving myself.
Not to be hard on myself for my failure or lack of success.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/you-have-value-can-be-happy-regardless-of-relationship-status/
Self-love is a regular practice that starts with acceptance. Take the time to align with your inner self and appreciate your strength. Only then can you open up to receiving and giving love to others unconditionally.
If you can be love and accept yourself, you’ll be happy regardless of who chooses to enter or exit your life.
My heavy self judgement (Sun in Saturn)
May 11
Woke up okay at 4.30 am, decided to skip morning leisure breakfast during office days from now on. Not worth waking up early at 3.30 am.
Left shoulder was bit painful. Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by cat stretch. It was bit painful.
Did Angamardhana. Albeit the left shoulder slight pain it was a good one. On the squatting, first tot was not to do but I try and now hurt my back slightly cos pain in left shoulder unable to support and I jerked.
Hope it's okay by tomorrow. Can feel the stiffness.
Decided not to do Surya Kriya
Breathing was good. Being in awareness of my body. Feel contented.
Shakti good too. Did take a rest after second slow Kapala Bhakti. Towards the end just deep silence. Very fulfilled.
Shambavi was good. Towards the end just silence. Just nothing. Infact I find Shakti more fulfilling. Am I finally reaching stillness?.
Came to office. Bit hectic in the morning. Can feel my emotion spiral downward. Just want to be alone. Not sure why the spiral. Luckily got my Rudrashkh.
Was bit put off with myself for my inconsiderate remarks on the fellow meditator. Saying she is free now because her in law has most likely pass away. But that was in my mind. Never mind. I truly got much Saturn fighting with my Sun. Sun in me just want to let go but get hit by Saturn.
I can see this is causing my RA. Always biting up myself. Not even hurting anyone except of my own high standard. Mmm, that's why j spiral down. I was judging myself internally. No wonder I project it to P. She got higher standard than me. Even before she judge I already judged. So much self attach.
Secrets of Yoga
Patanjali
If u want to attain to the ultimate, u have to lose all. This is the way of true seeker; whatsoever he gains, he goes and sacrifices it to God.
Otherwise if u start clinging to the gifts, then and there ur progress stops. Then and there u make an abode and start living there.
Soul
This is to tell me whatever experience I have during Sadhana, don't cling.
Mmmmm also judging myself for spiral down despite such a high yesterday. Instead of seeing as bad. See it as good cos now I m aware of downward spiral. It take time to identify the source. Feel myself neutral again.
The secrets of yoga
U have a headache. Before u take aspirin, do a little meditation. It may be aspirin not needed then. Just close eyes and feel where the headache is exactly, pinpoint on it, focus on it. And u will be amazed that it is not such a big thing as u were imagining before. It is not spread all over the head. The more diffused the headache the more u r identified with it. The more clear, focused, defined, demarked, localised, the more distant u are.
Soul
Earlier just know feeling bad. Not sure why. Then was double by judging myself for feeling down.
Now I can see it was just my silly comment that I judged myself and fearful of how P judged me. Now I can see it. The bad feeling gone. Truly a small thing that cause me to feel bad and double by my self judgement.
When will this end?
The secrets of yoga
Again and again it will come. Again, focus; again it will disappear. At the perfect focusing u are so far away from ur head that u cannot feel the headache.
Soul
Key is to focus. And the first door is to be aware I self judge myself for feeling bad. So it prevent me from finding the issue that make me feel down in the first place.
I m just a sensitive person. That's my strength and weakness. No need to judge myself for being sensitive. That's where my receptivity to grace arose.
Woke up okay at 4.30 am, decided to skip morning leisure breakfast during office days from now on. Not worth waking up early at 3.30 am.
Left shoulder was bit painful. Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by cat stretch. It was bit painful.
Did Angamardhana. Albeit the left shoulder slight pain it was a good one. On the squatting, first tot was not to do but I try and now hurt my back slightly cos pain in left shoulder unable to support and I jerked.
Hope it's okay by tomorrow. Can feel the stiffness.
Decided not to do Surya Kriya
Breathing was good. Being in awareness of my body. Feel contented.
Shakti good too. Did take a rest after second slow Kapala Bhakti. Towards the end just deep silence. Very fulfilled.
Shambavi was good. Towards the end just silence. Just nothing. Infact I find Shakti more fulfilling. Am I finally reaching stillness?.
Came to office. Bit hectic in the morning. Can feel my emotion spiral downward. Just want to be alone. Not sure why the spiral. Luckily got my Rudrashkh.
Was bit put off with myself for my inconsiderate remarks on the fellow meditator. Saying she is free now because her in law has most likely pass away. But that was in my mind. Never mind. I truly got much Saturn fighting with my Sun. Sun in me just want to let go but get hit by Saturn.
I can see this is causing my RA. Always biting up myself. Not even hurting anyone except of my own high standard. Mmm, that's why j spiral down. I was judging myself internally. No wonder I project it to P. She got higher standard than me. Even before she judge I already judged. So much self attach.
Secrets of Yoga
Patanjali
If u want to attain to the ultimate, u have to lose all. This is the way of true seeker; whatsoever he gains, he goes and sacrifices it to God.
Otherwise if u start clinging to the gifts, then and there ur progress stops. Then and there u make an abode and start living there.
Soul
This is to tell me whatever experience I have during Sadhana, don't cling.
Mmmmm also judging myself for spiral down despite such a high yesterday. Instead of seeing as bad. See it as good cos now I m aware of downward spiral. It take time to identify the source. Feel myself neutral again.
The secrets of yoga
U have a headache. Before u take aspirin, do a little meditation. It may be aspirin not needed then. Just close eyes and feel where the headache is exactly, pinpoint on it, focus on it. And u will be amazed that it is not such a big thing as u were imagining before. It is not spread all over the head. The more diffused the headache the more u r identified with it. The more clear, focused, defined, demarked, localised, the more distant u are.
Soul
Earlier just know feeling bad. Not sure why. Then was double by judging myself for feeling down.
Now I can see it was just my silly comment that I judged myself and fearful of how P judged me. Now I can see it. The bad feeling gone. Truly a small thing that cause me to feel bad and double by my self judgement.
When will this end?
The secrets of yoga
Again and again it will come. Again, focus; again it will disappear. At the perfect focusing u are so far away from ur head that u cannot feel the headache.
Soul
Key is to focus. And the first door is to be aware I self judge myself for feeling bad. So it prevent me from finding the issue that make me feel down in the first place.
I m just a sensitive person. That's my strength and weakness. No need to judge myself for being sensitive. That's where my receptivity to grace arose.
Awesome Sathsang
May 10
Father, awesome Sathsang.
Shambavi was just okay cos I was distracted with the heat as Aircond not working well. Brahmananda was okay.
As I heard all their sharing of BSP volunteering; my mind said you missed it.
In the video, first question is breakthrough in sadhana; different timing for different people. The second question on gaining respect. Sadhguru said why need respect. U only need respect from others when u feel incomplete within. If you feel complete, u no longer need respect from others
Then watching the video I asked Sadhguru whats my breakthrough; a answer came - u let go of leading volunteering so the group can flourish. That's my breakthrough I let go. It's not that I don't care I do care but we each better off without me. A sense of peace fell over me.
When we did Special meditation on love and rship; I had no expectation. And I first start with tots of peaceful rship with my elder brother. Want to see okay that he is not paying anything for his permanent stay in my house.
Then Sadhguru said visualise a person or situation where I felt most loved. And immediately tot of Sadhguru loving me with Sannidhi. I feel a flow of love. And then Sadhguru I can now give the love to others. And that's exactly my Sannidhi vow; of giving love, peace and jog to the world. Love flow in me. Love flow and tears flow due to overwhelming gratitude. I hug a couple of persons. I feel love reaching out.
After Sathsang ended I chat with some 'babies'. Later I felt hungry and friends in volunteer meet. For the past few months I felt left out.
Today I just felt that it was a choice I made of let go. I no longer need to hold on to get respect; to get validation. I m clear enough that I can no longer pay the price for validation.
So I left them happily and ate dinner on my own. I felt freed alas. No longer need to rely in others. Suddenly a tot came "Aloneness path" not only in romantic rship but also group rship.
A tot came. Breakthrough in 30 plus years of leisure breakfast. I started my leisure breakfast routine since college.
Father, awesome Sathsang.
Shambavi was just okay cos I was distracted with the heat as Aircond not working well. Brahmananda was okay.
As I heard all their sharing of BSP volunteering; my mind said you missed it.
In the video, first question is breakthrough in sadhana; different timing for different people. The second question on gaining respect. Sadhguru said why need respect. U only need respect from others when u feel incomplete within. If you feel complete, u no longer need respect from others
Then watching the video I asked Sadhguru whats my breakthrough; a answer came - u let go of leading volunteering so the group can flourish. That's my breakthrough I let go. It's not that I don't care I do care but we each better off without me. A sense of peace fell over me.
When we did Special meditation on love and rship; I had no expectation. And I first start with tots of peaceful rship with my elder brother. Want to see okay that he is not paying anything for his permanent stay in my house.
Then Sadhguru said visualise a person or situation where I felt most loved. And immediately tot of Sadhguru loving me with Sannidhi. I feel a flow of love. And then Sadhguru I can now give the love to others. And that's exactly my Sannidhi vow; of giving love, peace and jog to the world. Love flow in me. Love flow and tears flow due to overwhelming gratitude. I hug a couple of persons. I feel love reaching out.
After Sathsang ended I chat with some 'babies'. Later I felt hungry and friends in volunteer meet. For the past few months I felt left out.
Today I just felt that it was a choice I made of let go. I no longer need to hold on to get respect; to get validation. I m clear enough that I can no longer pay the price for validation.
So I left them happily and ate dinner on my own. I felt freed alas. No longer need to rely in others. Suddenly a tot came "Aloneness path" not only in romantic rship but also group rship.
A tot came. Breakthrough in 30 plus years of leisure breakfast. I started my leisure breakfast routine since college.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)