Feb 11
Mmm, today was bit off. Lost focus a few times. Thinkin of future.
But I preservere. Tomorro leavin for India.
The Power of Now
Every crisis represents not only danger but also opportunity.
If relationship energises and magnify egoic mind patterns and activate the pain-body, as they do at this time, why not accept this fact rather than try to escape from it.
Why not cooperate with it instead of avoiding relationship or continuing to pursue the phantom of an ideal partner as an answer to ur problems or as a means of feeling fufilled?
Soul
That's what I tot in d brief rship whereby I was conned. My body was saying no but my mind say yes.
Of cos, when I ended it, I know it happen cos I was havin a low self esteem. But the fact I ended it shows that I valued myself and I tot it has been uphill since then.
But, I am afraid. I don't trust myself. I am not sure if I could handle the pain-body that arise, the feeling of vulnerability, which represent weakness to me. Of cos it happen a few years ago and now I am different, less on mind. But am I ready?
The Power of Now
The opportunity that is concealed within every crisis does not manifest until all the facts of any given situation are acknowledged and fully accpeted.
As long as u deny them, as long as u try to escape from them or wish that things were different, the window of opportunity does not open up and u remain trapped inside that situation, which will remain the same or deteriorate further.
With the acknowledgement and acceptance of the facts also comes a degree of freedom from them.
For eg., when u know there is a disharmony and u hold that "knowing", through ur knowing, a new factor has come in, and the disharmony cannot remain unchanged.
When u know u r not at peace, ur knowing create a still space that surrounds ur nonpeace in a loving and tender embrace and then transmute ur nonpeace into peace
As far as inner transformation is concerned there is NOTHING you can do about it.
You cannot transform yourself and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else.
All u can do is to create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.
Soul
Wow. This lift the responsibility from me. Ego is saying why I can't transform myself. Does d meditation help.
Now I realised that I preservere cos meditation is d doorway for grace to come in. I can only relax and be open. As to how, what or when or if it happen doesn't belong to me.
I need only to be open and not close up.
The rship thingy has been bothering me. And it is so timely that m reading it jus before I went to India
The Power of Now
So whenever ur relationship is not working, whenever it brings out the "madness" in u and ur partner, be glad.
What was unconscious is being brought to the light.
It is an opportunity for salvation.
If u observe unconscious behaviour in ur partner, hold it in loving embrace of ur knowing so that u won't react.
Unconsciousness and knowing cannot coexist for long - even if the knowing is only in the other person and not in the one who is acting out the unconsciousness.
If u react at all to ur partner's unconsciousness, u become unconscious yourself.
But if u then remember to know ur reaction, nothing is lost.
Soul
Yea, I practiced that. and now teaching my staff in handling CEO.
The Power of Now
As u may have noticed, relationship are not here to make u happy or fulfilled. If u continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, u will be disillusioned again and again.
But if u accept that the relationship is here to make u conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer u salvation, and u will be aligning urself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into the world.
Judgement is either to confuse someone unconscious behaviour with who they are or to project ur own unconsciousness onto another person and mistake that for who they are.
When the pain-body has been transmuted and u r no longer identified with mind and mental positions, and if ur partner has done the same, u will experience the bliss of the flowering of relationship.
Instead of mirroing to each other ur pain and unconsciousness, instead of satisfying ur mutual addictive needs, u will reflect back to each other the love that u feel deep within, the love that comes with the realisation or ur oness wit all that is.
This is the love that has no opposite.
If u can feel ur emotions, u r not far from the radiant inner body just underneath.
If u r mainly in ur head, the distance is much greater and u need to bring consciousness into the emotional body before u can reach the inner body
Mind
Emotion
Energy.
If there isn't an emanation of love and joy, complete presence and openness toward ALL beings, then it is not enlightenment.
Another indicator is how a person behaves in difficult/challenging situation or when things go wrong.
Evenin
Today hav a good session wit CD. M real glad I got to know him better. He was also upfront wit me. He said despite havin everything, he is not sure why he is still not happy.
M surprised he understand abt the projection issue and he admitted he has hidden anger.
I told him that he was real lucky to stay this naïve for so long. He didn't have to face d politic arena.
Mmm, he is d second person cos my friend BE also d same.
Me, I faced it at d start of my career. I used to think God doesn't love me, give me such difficult challenges from day 1. Now I realised perhaps He know m ready.
M glad that CEO finally realise that CD is jus plain naïve. Its not he is too arrogant to play d corporate game, it is becos he is too simple and totally ignore the basic rule. She in turn decide that she need not be defensive n to call another person.
3 hours wit him, 1 hour wit CEO. Tiring day. Father, how lah to be coach, perhaps I didn't root myself.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Love/Hate relationship
Feb 10
Father, d veg period is nearly over. And I am getting happier. Looking forward to explore all my food hunts. There is also many more restaurants to explore. I m also happier during meditation.
The Power of Now.
Most people pursue physical pleasures or various form of psychological gratification because they believe that those things will make them happy or free them from a feeling of fear or lack.
This is a search for salvation from a state of unsatisfactoriness or insufficiency.
Invariably, any satisfaction that they obtain is short-lived, so the conditions or fulfillment is usually projected once again to an imaginary point away from the here and now.
This is the unconscious mind-set that creates the illusion of salvation in the future.
Soul - yea. Used to be work and now if I acknowledge it wld be rship.
The Power of Now
True salvation is fulfillment, peace, life in all its fullness.
It is to be who u r, to feel within u the good that has no opposite, the joy of Being that depends nothing outside itself. (Soul _ yeap, just closing my eyes, I am conneced and felt the joy of just being. People says cry themselves to sleep; I laugh myself to sleep)
The Power of Now
It is felt not as a passing experience but as an abiding presence.
It is to "know God" - not as something outside yourself but as an inseparable part of the timeless and formlessness One Life from which all that exists derive its being.
True salvation is a state of freedom - from fear, from suffering, from perceived state of lack and insufficiency and therfore from all wanting, needing, grasping and clingihg.
It is freedom from compulsive thinking, from negativity, and above all from past and future as a psychological need.
Your mind is telling u that u cannot get there from here. Something need to happen or u need to become this or that before u can be freed and fulfilled.
It is infact saying u need time - time to find, sort out, do, achieve, acquire, become or understand something before u can be free or complete.
You see time as the means to salvation, whereas in truth it is the greatest obstacle to salvation.
You think u can't get there from where and who u are at this moment because u r not yet complete or good enough, but the truth is that here and now is the only point where u can get there.
You "get" there by realising that u r already there.
You find God the moment that u realise that u don't need to seek God.
So there is no only way to salvation
Any condition can be used, but no particular condition is needed.
However, there is only one point of access; the Now.
There can be no salvation away from this moment.
You are lonely and without a partner? Enter the Now from there.
You are in a relationship? Enter the Now from there.
There is nothing u can ever do or attain that will get u closer to salvation than it is at this moment.
This may be hard to grasp for a mind accustomed to thinking that everything worthwhile is in the future.
Nor can anything that u ever did or that was done to u in the past prevent u from saying yes to what is and taking ur attention deeply into Now.
You cannot do this in the future.
You do it now or not at all.
Soul - lots of info
First thing that strike me was d fact that part of me still wan a partner. Although I know it is not for enlightenment. According to colleague, u get a partner for mental, physical, emotional or materials. She says she wan d emotion.
How abt me, I wld say physical and perhaps material. Both also important cos my physical include materials. I wld say d partner thingy is mor for enjoyment. But who knows, perhaps its jus me who don't wan to commit. And part of me also don't wan to try cos unfortunately I stil believe there may be pain. But of cos Osho says with pain comes pleasure. With agony comes ecstasy. Mmmm, not sure I believe that. I guess d real part is abt being vulnerable, being to face possibilities of non-acceptance n then it wld shake my exposed belief that m not lovable. The thing is I don't wan to be sad. I don't wan to risk my peace n comfort zone. So, now wonder cannot get, smile.
Of cos, now I know m loved by God and by myself. Loved by partner still vague.
The Power of Now
Love/Hate relationships.
Unless and until u access the consciousness frequency of presence, all relationships and particularly intimate relationships, are deeply flawed and ultimately dysfunctional.
They may seem perfect for a while, such as when u r in love, but invariably that apparent perfection gets disrupted as arguments, conflicts, dissatisfaction, and emotional or even physical violence occur with increasing frequency.
It seems that most love relationship become love/hate rship before long.
Love can turn into savage attack, feelings of hostility, or complete withdrawal of affection at the flick of a switch. This is considered normal. The rship then oscillates between love/hate, giving pleasure/pain and this drama can make some rships feel alive.
When d balance is lost, and the negative destructive cycle occur wit increasing frequency and intensity, then it will not be long before the rship finally collapses.
The pain/pleasure is mutually interdependent. You cannot have one without the other.
Soul - that's exactly why I don't wan to explore. Cos I know its not going to turn out well especially since I hav not heal my childhood abandoment issue.
Love/hate of a romantic love
The positive already contains within itself the as yet unmanifested negative.
Both are infact different aspects of the same dysfunction.
True love, which has no opposite, arises from beyond the mind
True love as a continuous state is as yet very rare - as rare as conscious human being.
Question
Why should we become addicted to another person - romantic love?
Answer
The reason why the romantic relationship is such an intense and universally sought-after experience is that it seems to offer liberation from a deep-seated stated of fear, need, lack and incompleteness that is part of the human condition in its unredeemed and unenlightened state.
There is a physical as well as a psychological dimension to this state.
On a physical level, u r obviously not whole, nor will u ever be. Sexual union is the closest u can get to the state of wholeness. That is why it is the most deeply satisfying experience the physical realm can offer. But sexual union is no more than just a glimpse of wholeness, an instant of bliss.
On the psychological level, the sense of lack and incompleteness is, if anything, even greater than on the physical level.
As long as u r identified with the mind, u hav an externally derived sense of self.
That is to say, you get ur sense of who u r from the things that ultimately has nothing to do with who u are; ur social role, possessions, external appearance, successes and failures, belief systens, and so on.
This false, mind-made self, the ego, feels vulnerable, insecure, and is always seeking new things to identify to give it a feeling that it exists.
But nothing is ever enough to give it lasting fulfillment.
Its fear remains; its sense of lack and neediness remain.
Soul - I know. I don't wan this issue to arise as I don't like it. It makes me feel small.
Love/hate
But then the special relationship comes along. It seems to be the answer to all the ego's problems and to meet all its needs. At least this is how it appears at firts. All the other things that u derived ur sense of self from before, now become relatively insignificant. You now have a focal point that replaces them all, gives meaning to ur life and through which u define ur identity; the person u r "in love" with.
The fact that the center is outside u and that, therefore, u still have an externally derived sense of self does not seem to matter at first.
What matters is that the underlying feeling of incompleteness, of fear, of lack and fulfillment, so characteristic of egoic state are no longer there - or are they?
Have they dissolved, or do they continue to exist underneath the happy surface reality.
You cannot love ur partner one moment and attack him or her the next. True love has no opposite.
If ur "love" has an opposite, then it is not love but a strong ego-need for a more complete and deeper sense of self, a need that the other person temporarily meets.
It is the ego's substitute for salvation and for a short time it almost does feel like salvation.
Just as with every addiction, you are on a high when the drug is available, but invariably there comes a time when the drug no longer works for u.
When those painful feelings reappear, u feel them even more strongly than before and what is more, u now perceive your partner as the cause of those feelings. This means that u project them outward and attack the other with all the savage violence that is part of ur pain.
Soul
Mmm, don't really recall this. In my case, I normally blame myself.
Infact, I used to wonder why d other women can get away wit it. Why they lashed on their partner n they still take it?
Perhaps that's why I don't lash cos if they do, I won't take it either.
Tot of CEO, she can't stand to see lifeless/no response/no smile/dullness/any negative emotion. That's means she has them.
Love/hate
This attack may awaken the partner's own pain and he or she may counter your attack.
At this point, the ego is still unconsciously hoping that its attack or its attempts at manipulation will be sufficient punishment to induce ur partner to change their behaviour so that it can use them again as a cover-up for ur pain.
Soul - tot of my sis always scolding and at times beating her son. Always says when will d son change his behaviour. I wonder whether if love/hate also applies to relationship between parents/children.
The Power of Now
Every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through ur own pain. Every addiction starts wit pain and ends wit pain.
Soul
People use to say food is my addiction. Actually these 40 days of veg. I know that food is not my addiction. I enjoy food, yea. But I am not addicted.
People also says I substitute food for sex. Perhaps, but whatever it is, the 40 days confirmed that I don't have addiction since there is no pain. Jus feel bit pitiful that I can't enjoy d various food available.
Jus now shoonya, I was laughing throughout. If I m not mistaken, this wld be one of the most laughing session of shoonya.
The Power of Now
Intimate relationship do not cause pain and unhappiness. They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in u. Every addiction does that. Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work for u anymore, and then u feel the pain more intensely.
Avoidance of relationships in an attempt to avoid pain is not the answer either. The pain is there anyway.
Three failed relationships in as many years are more likely to force u into awakening than 3 years on a desert island or shut away in ur room.
But if u could bring intesne presence into ur aloness, that would work for u too.
Soul
Mmm, not sure if can heed this call. Easier to ignore and run.
The Power of Now
To disidentify from the pain-body is to bring presence into the pain and thus trasmute it.
To disidentify from thinking is to be the silent watcher of ur tots and behaviour, especially the repetitive patterns of ur mind and the roles play by the ego.
Soul - a tot came. May be too arrogant. Since there is no more pain in me, only laughter and joy. Perhaps now is d time for intimate rship and I need not worry abt the negative feeling that may arise. Need worry abt the judgments.
The Power of Now
First u stop judging urself; then u stop judging ur partner.
The greatest catalyst for change in a relationship is complete acceptance as he is or she is, without needing to judge him.
Love is a state of Being
Your love is not outside; it is deep within you.
You can never lose it and it cannot leave u.
It is not dependent on some other body, some external form.
You look beyond the veil of form and separation.
What is God?
The eternal One Life underneath all the forms of life.
What is love?
To feel the the presence of that One Life deep within urself and within all creatures. To be love. Therefore, all love is the love of God.
There may be one person who reflects your love back to you more clearly and more intensely than others; and if that person feels the same toward you, it can be said that u r in a love relationship wit him or her.
Soul
Mmm, something similar to 3 of heart.
Loving someone cos he reflect our love for ourselves.
The power of Now
Love cannot flourish unless u r permanently free of mind identification and ur presence is intense enough to have dissolved the pain-body - or you can at least remain present as the watcher. The pain-body cannot then take u over and so become destructive of love.
Evening
Watch d korean drama. Her wishful thinking was like mine too. I hav been there. Mind can play tricks.
Today, mom told me tomorro she is cooking chicken rice and asked me what I shall eat tomorro. At first I told her pack veg food for me, then I said nevermind, I will eat fast noodle. I then realised my family also change their diet for me.
Then in d evening, 2 green veg dishes. Mom said becos of me, the family stop eating garlic. They miss it. I realised how much they love me.
I will buy them lunch at my favourite restaurant. My family really loves me.
Father, d veg period is nearly over. And I am getting happier. Looking forward to explore all my food hunts. There is also many more restaurants to explore. I m also happier during meditation.
The Power of Now.
Most people pursue physical pleasures or various form of psychological gratification because they believe that those things will make them happy or free them from a feeling of fear or lack.
This is a search for salvation from a state of unsatisfactoriness or insufficiency.
Invariably, any satisfaction that they obtain is short-lived, so the conditions or fulfillment is usually projected once again to an imaginary point away from the here and now.
This is the unconscious mind-set that creates the illusion of salvation in the future.
Soul - yea. Used to be work and now if I acknowledge it wld be rship.
The Power of Now
True salvation is fulfillment, peace, life in all its fullness.
It is to be who u r, to feel within u the good that has no opposite, the joy of Being that depends nothing outside itself. (Soul _ yeap, just closing my eyes, I am conneced and felt the joy of just being. People says cry themselves to sleep; I laugh myself to sleep)
The Power of Now
It is felt not as a passing experience but as an abiding presence.
It is to "know God" - not as something outside yourself but as an inseparable part of the timeless and formlessness One Life from which all that exists derive its being.
True salvation is a state of freedom - from fear, from suffering, from perceived state of lack and insufficiency and therfore from all wanting, needing, grasping and clingihg.
It is freedom from compulsive thinking, from negativity, and above all from past and future as a psychological need.
Your mind is telling u that u cannot get there from here. Something need to happen or u need to become this or that before u can be freed and fulfilled.
It is infact saying u need time - time to find, sort out, do, achieve, acquire, become or understand something before u can be free or complete.
You see time as the means to salvation, whereas in truth it is the greatest obstacle to salvation.
You think u can't get there from where and who u are at this moment because u r not yet complete or good enough, but the truth is that here and now is the only point where u can get there.
You "get" there by realising that u r already there.
You find God the moment that u realise that u don't need to seek God.
So there is no only way to salvation
Any condition can be used, but no particular condition is needed.
However, there is only one point of access; the Now.
There can be no salvation away from this moment.
You are lonely and without a partner? Enter the Now from there.
You are in a relationship? Enter the Now from there.
There is nothing u can ever do or attain that will get u closer to salvation than it is at this moment.
This may be hard to grasp for a mind accustomed to thinking that everything worthwhile is in the future.
Nor can anything that u ever did or that was done to u in the past prevent u from saying yes to what is and taking ur attention deeply into Now.
You cannot do this in the future.
You do it now or not at all.
Soul - lots of info
First thing that strike me was d fact that part of me still wan a partner. Although I know it is not for enlightenment. According to colleague, u get a partner for mental, physical, emotional or materials. She says she wan d emotion.
How abt me, I wld say physical and perhaps material. Both also important cos my physical include materials. I wld say d partner thingy is mor for enjoyment. But who knows, perhaps its jus me who don't wan to commit. And part of me also don't wan to try cos unfortunately I stil believe there may be pain. But of cos Osho says with pain comes pleasure. With agony comes ecstasy. Mmmm, not sure I believe that. I guess d real part is abt being vulnerable, being to face possibilities of non-acceptance n then it wld shake my exposed belief that m not lovable. The thing is I don't wan to be sad. I don't wan to risk my peace n comfort zone. So, now wonder cannot get, smile.
Of cos, now I know m loved by God and by myself. Loved by partner still vague.
The Power of Now
Love/Hate relationships.
Unless and until u access the consciousness frequency of presence, all relationships and particularly intimate relationships, are deeply flawed and ultimately dysfunctional.
They may seem perfect for a while, such as when u r in love, but invariably that apparent perfection gets disrupted as arguments, conflicts, dissatisfaction, and emotional or even physical violence occur with increasing frequency.
It seems that most love relationship become love/hate rship before long.
Love can turn into savage attack, feelings of hostility, or complete withdrawal of affection at the flick of a switch. This is considered normal. The rship then oscillates between love/hate, giving pleasure/pain and this drama can make some rships feel alive.
When d balance is lost, and the negative destructive cycle occur wit increasing frequency and intensity, then it will not be long before the rship finally collapses.
The pain/pleasure is mutually interdependent. You cannot have one without the other.
Soul - that's exactly why I don't wan to explore. Cos I know its not going to turn out well especially since I hav not heal my childhood abandoment issue.
Love/hate of a romantic love
The positive already contains within itself the as yet unmanifested negative.
Both are infact different aspects of the same dysfunction.
True love, which has no opposite, arises from beyond the mind
True love as a continuous state is as yet very rare - as rare as conscious human being.
Question
Why should we become addicted to another person - romantic love?
Answer
The reason why the romantic relationship is such an intense and universally sought-after experience is that it seems to offer liberation from a deep-seated stated of fear, need, lack and incompleteness that is part of the human condition in its unredeemed and unenlightened state.
There is a physical as well as a psychological dimension to this state.
On a physical level, u r obviously not whole, nor will u ever be. Sexual union is the closest u can get to the state of wholeness. That is why it is the most deeply satisfying experience the physical realm can offer. But sexual union is no more than just a glimpse of wholeness, an instant of bliss.
On the psychological level, the sense of lack and incompleteness is, if anything, even greater than on the physical level.
As long as u r identified with the mind, u hav an externally derived sense of self.
That is to say, you get ur sense of who u r from the things that ultimately has nothing to do with who u are; ur social role, possessions, external appearance, successes and failures, belief systens, and so on.
This false, mind-made self, the ego, feels vulnerable, insecure, and is always seeking new things to identify to give it a feeling that it exists.
But nothing is ever enough to give it lasting fulfillment.
Its fear remains; its sense of lack and neediness remain.
Soul - I know. I don't wan this issue to arise as I don't like it. It makes me feel small.
Love/hate
But then the special relationship comes along. It seems to be the answer to all the ego's problems and to meet all its needs. At least this is how it appears at firts. All the other things that u derived ur sense of self from before, now become relatively insignificant. You now have a focal point that replaces them all, gives meaning to ur life and through which u define ur identity; the person u r "in love" with.
The fact that the center is outside u and that, therefore, u still have an externally derived sense of self does not seem to matter at first.
What matters is that the underlying feeling of incompleteness, of fear, of lack and fulfillment, so characteristic of egoic state are no longer there - or are they?
Have they dissolved, or do they continue to exist underneath the happy surface reality.
You cannot love ur partner one moment and attack him or her the next. True love has no opposite.
If ur "love" has an opposite, then it is not love but a strong ego-need for a more complete and deeper sense of self, a need that the other person temporarily meets.
It is the ego's substitute for salvation and for a short time it almost does feel like salvation.
Just as with every addiction, you are on a high when the drug is available, but invariably there comes a time when the drug no longer works for u.
When those painful feelings reappear, u feel them even more strongly than before and what is more, u now perceive your partner as the cause of those feelings. This means that u project them outward and attack the other with all the savage violence that is part of ur pain.
Soul
Mmm, don't really recall this. In my case, I normally blame myself.
Infact, I used to wonder why d other women can get away wit it. Why they lashed on their partner n they still take it?
Perhaps that's why I don't lash cos if they do, I won't take it either.
Tot of CEO, she can't stand to see lifeless/no response/no smile/dullness/any negative emotion. That's means she has them.
Love/hate
This attack may awaken the partner's own pain and he or she may counter your attack.
At this point, the ego is still unconsciously hoping that its attack or its attempts at manipulation will be sufficient punishment to induce ur partner to change their behaviour so that it can use them again as a cover-up for ur pain.
Soul - tot of my sis always scolding and at times beating her son. Always says when will d son change his behaviour. I wonder whether if love/hate also applies to relationship between parents/children.
The Power of Now
Every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through ur own pain. Every addiction starts wit pain and ends wit pain.
Soul
People use to say food is my addiction. Actually these 40 days of veg. I know that food is not my addiction. I enjoy food, yea. But I am not addicted.
People also says I substitute food for sex. Perhaps, but whatever it is, the 40 days confirmed that I don't have addiction since there is no pain. Jus feel bit pitiful that I can't enjoy d various food available.
Jus now shoonya, I was laughing throughout. If I m not mistaken, this wld be one of the most laughing session of shoonya.
The Power of Now
Intimate relationship do not cause pain and unhappiness. They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in u. Every addiction does that. Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work for u anymore, and then u feel the pain more intensely.
Avoidance of relationships in an attempt to avoid pain is not the answer either. The pain is there anyway.
Three failed relationships in as many years are more likely to force u into awakening than 3 years on a desert island or shut away in ur room.
But if u could bring intesne presence into ur aloness, that would work for u too.
Soul
Mmm, not sure if can heed this call. Easier to ignore and run.
The Power of Now
To disidentify from the pain-body is to bring presence into the pain and thus trasmute it.
To disidentify from thinking is to be the silent watcher of ur tots and behaviour, especially the repetitive patterns of ur mind and the roles play by the ego.
Soul - a tot came. May be too arrogant. Since there is no more pain in me, only laughter and joy. Perhaps now is d time for intimate rship and I need not worry abt the negative feeling that may arise. Need worry abt the judgments.
The Power of Now
First u stop judging urself; then u stop judging ur partner.
The greatest catalyst for change in a relationship is complete acceptance as he is or she is, without needing to judge him.
Love is a state of Being
Your love is not outside; it is deep within you.
You can never lose it and it cannot leave u.
It is not dependent on some other body, some external form.
You look beyond the veil of form and separation.
What is God?
The eternal One Life underneath all the forms of life.
What is love?
To feel the the presence of that One Life deep within urself and within all creatures. To be love. Therefore, all love is the love of God.
There may be one person who reflects your love back to you more clearly and more intensely than others; and if that person feels the same toward you, it can be said that u r in a love relationship wit him or her.
Soul
Mmm, something similar to 3 of heart.
Loving someone cos he reflect our love for ourselves.
The power of Now
Love cannot flourish unless u r permanently free of mind identification and ur presence is intense enough to have dissolved the pain-body - or you can at least remain present as the watcher. The pain-body cannot then take u over and so become destructive of love.
Evening
Watch d korean drama. Her wishful thinking was like mine too. I hav been there. Mind can play tricks.
Today, mom told me tomorro she is cooking chicken rice and asked me what I shall eat tomorro. At first I told her pack veg food for me, then I said nevermind, I will eat fast noodle. I then realised my family also change their diet for me.
Then in d evening, 2 green veg dishes. Mom said becos of me, the family stop eating garlic. They miss it. I realised how much they love me.
I will buy them lunch at my favourite restaurant. My family really loves me.
Outside negative energy field - have less effect on me
Feb 9
The Power of Now
When u r in ur inner body, ur immune system will strengthen. It is as if every cell awakens and rejoices. The body loves ur attention. It is also a potent form of self-healing.
Ur psychic immune system is greatly enhanced as well. The latter protects u from the negative mental-emotional force fields of others, which are highly contagious.
Inhabiting ur inner body raise the frequency of ur total energy field, so that anything that vibrates at a lower frequency, such as fear, anger, depression, and so on, now exist in what is a virtually different order of reality.
It doesn't enter ur field of consciousness anymore or if it does, u don't need to offer any resistance to it.
(19 Mar 201; Soul - so this what I was experiencing with CEO)
Soul - so the meditation and d inner body awareness will help to balance my immune system. In the end, I over exerted myself n didn't listen to my body n emotion, just my mind only. I guess u cld say I was very dense.
I recalled I asked Sadhguru to tell me how can I heal myself. I don't wan to rely on medication that hav side effect.
So, doing d meditation regardless of what I experience help with my immune system
Being with my inner body also helps to balance my immune system.
The Power of Now
Whenever an answer, a solution is needed, stop thinking for a moment by focusing ur attention on ur inner energy field. Become aware of the stillness. When u resume thinking, it will be fresh and creative.
Don't just think wit ur head, think wit ur whole body.
Chi is the inner energy field of ur body. It is the bridge between the outer u and the Source.
When ur consciousness is directed outward, mind and world arise. When it is directed inward, it realises its own Source and returns home into the Unmanifested.
As u go about ur life, don't give 100 percent of ur attention to the external world and to ur mind. Keep some within. Feel ur inner body even when engaged in everyday activities, especially when engaged in relationship or when u r relating to nature. Feel the stillness deep inside it.
Keep the portal open. It is quite possible to be conscious of the Unmanifested throughout ur life.
You feel as it as a deep sense of peace somewhere in the background, a stillness that never leaves u, no matter what happens out here. You become a bridge between the Unmanifested and the manifested, between God and the world. This is the state of connectedness with the Source that we called enlightenment.
Soul
Me stuck in jam for 2 hours. While I don't think I be frus previously, but I don't expect to feel the calmness. It is as if it doesn't bother me. I don't take it personally and I see jam as the simplest problem there is. Besided don't hav to resolve.
Early this mornin, I wanted to hav 80 percent connection to the Source, on a moment to moment basis. Once I m connected, I won't create anymore negativity that activated my RA.
Earlier my original objective for Samyama is to liberate myself from all limitation. Then I tot of being in the Now, focusing on present. And now attention on inner body - being conscious
(19 Mar 2010; Soul - I am in progress)
The power of Now.
The Unmanifested does not liberate you until you enter it consciously.
The portal to the Unmanifested
1. Cessation of thinking - creating a gap in the incessant stream of thought using meditation.
2. Being in the Now - intensely present, the mind stops automatically. The Now is an essential aspect of every other portal.
3. Being in the inner body
4. Surrender - letting go of mental resistance to what is. In the state of surrender, ur form identity softens and become somewhat "transparent" as it were, so the Unmanifested can shine through u.
5. By becoming aware of empty space - or of silence, u simultaneously become aware of the space of no-mind, of pure consciousness.
Every portal is a portal of death, the death of the false self. When u go through it, u cease to derive ur identity from ur psychological, mind-made form.
You then realise that death is an illusion, jus as ur identification wit form was an illusion. The end of illusion - that's all that death is. It is painful only as long as u cling to illusion.
Soul
I wan to use all as I aim to be conscious 80 percent of the time. I aim to master myself. I aim to heal myself.
Meditation is on-going
Being in the now - stop thinkin future
Feeling d inner body - as much as possible
Surrender - whenever I hav resistance. First thing is food in samyama.
The Power of Now
Question; Surely love must also be one of those portals?
Answer: No, it isn't. As soon as one of the portals is open, love is present as the "feeling-realisation" of oneness.
Love isn't a portal; Its what come through the portal into the world.
As long as u r trapped in ur form identity, there can be no love
Your task is not to search for love, but to find a portal through which love can enter.
Soul - no wonder P's love portal hasn't been that successful.
The Power of Now
The ultimate purpose of the world lies not within the world but in transcendence of the world.
Jus as u would not be conscious of space if there were no objects in space, the world is needed for the Unmanifested to be realised.
It is thru the world and ultimately through u, that the Unmanifested knows itself.
You are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold.
Bhagavad Gita
The soul, Krishna said to the ego, Arjuna: O my lower self, u must lift urself to my plane of higher soul consciousness!
Even if u destroy the wicked attachments of the senses, u r foolish enough to think that the senses themselves are destroyed! Your higher Self only purifies the lower self; It does not destroy it.
Soul - that's what I said yday abt d limitation will always be there. The solution is to stay conscious so that I don't react towards my limitation. Hence the practice of Now and contact wit Inner body is important to raise our consciousness.
(19 Mar 2010; Soul - Amazingly this is what samyama practices are all about)
The Power of Now
When u r in ur inner body, ur immune system will strengthen. It is as if every cell awakens and rejoices. The body loves ur attention. It is also a potent form of self-healing.
Ur psychic immune system is greatly enhanced as well. The latter protects u from the negative mental-emotional force fields of others, which are highly contagious.
Inhabiting ur inner body raise the frequency of ur total energy field, so that anything that vibrates at a lower frequency, such as fear, anger, depression, and so on, now exist in what is a virtually different order of reality.
It doesn't enter ur field of consciousness anymore or if it does, u don't need to offer any resistance to it.
(19 Mar 201; Soul - so this what I was experiencing with CEO)
Soul - so the meditation and d inner body awareness will help to balance my immune system. In the end, I over exerted myself n didn't listen to my body n emotion, just my mind only. I guess u cld say I was very dense.
I recalled I asked Sadhguru to tell me how can I heal myself. I don't wan to rely on medication that hav side effect.
So, doing d meditation regardless of what I experience help with my immune system
Being with my inner body also helps to balance my immune system.
The Power of Now
Whenever an answer, a solution is needed, stop thinking for a moment by focusing ur attention on ur inner energy field. Become aware of the stillness. When u resume thinking, it will be fresh and creative.
Don't just think wit ur head, think wit ur whole body.
Chi is the inner energy field of ur body. It is the bridge between the outer u and the Source.
When ur consciousness is directed outward, mind and world arise. When it is directed inward, it realises its own Source and returns home into the Unmanifested.
As u go about ur life, don't give 100 percent of ur attention to the external world and to ur mind. Keep some within. Feel ur inner body even when engaged in everyday activities, especially when engaged in relationship or when u r relating to nature. Feel the stillness deep inside it.
Keep the portal open. It is quite possible to be conscious of the Unmanifested throughout ur life.
You feel as it as a deep sense of peace somewhere in the background, a stillness that never leaves u, no matter what happens out here. You become a bridge between the Unmanifested and the manifested, between God and the world. This is the state of connectedness with the Source that we called enlightenment.
Soul
Me stuck in jam for 2 hours. While I don't think I be frus previously, but I don't expect to feel the calmness. It is as if it doesn't bother me. I don't take it personally and I see jam as the simplest problem there is. Besided don't hav to resolve.
Early this mornin, I wanted to hav 80 percent connection to the Source, on a moment to moment basis. Once I m connected, I won't create anymore negativity that activated my RA.
Earlier my original objective for Samyama is to liberate myself from all limitation. Then I tot of being in the Now, focusing on present. And now attention on inner body - being conscious
(19 Mar 2010; Soul - I am in progress)
The power of Now.
The Unmanifested does not liberate you until you enter it consciously.
The portal to the Unmanifested
1. Cessation of thinking - creating a gap in the incessant stream of thought using meditation.
2. Being in the Now - intensely present, the mind stops automatically. The Now is an essential aspect of every other portal.
3. Being in the inner body
4. Surrender - letting go of mental resistance to what is. In the state of surrender, ur form identity softens and become somewhat "transparent" as it were, so the Unmanifested can shine through u.
5. By becoming aware of empty space - or of silence, u simultaneously become aware of the space of no-mind, of pure consciousness.
Every portal is a portal of death, the death of the false self. When u go through it, u cease to derive ur identity from ur psychological, mind-made form.
You then realise that death is an illusion, jus as ur identification wit form was an illusion. The end of illusion - that's all that death is. It is painful only as long as u cling to illusion.
Soul
I wan to use all as I aim to be conscious 80 percent of the time. I aim to master myself. I aim to heal myself.
Meditation is on-going
Being in the now - stop thinkin future
Feeling d inner body - as much as possible
Surrender - whenever I hav resistance. First thing is food in samyama.
The Power of Now
Question; Surely love must also be one of those portals?
Answer: No, it isn't. As soon as one of the portals is open, love is present as the "feeling-realisation" of oneness.
Love isn't a portal; Its what come through the portal into the world.
As long as u r trapped in ur form identity, there can be no love
Your task is not to search for love, but to find a portal through which love can enter.
Soul - no wonder P's love portal hasn't been that successful.
The Power of Now
The ultimate purpose of the world lies not within the world but in transcendence of the world.
Jus as u would not be conscious of space if there were no objects in space, the world is needed for the Unmanifested to be realised.
It is thru the world and ultimately through u, that the Unmanifested knows itself.
You are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold.
Bhagavad Gita
The soul, Krishna said to the ego, Arjuna: O my lower self, u must lift urself to my plane of higher soul consciousness!
Even if u destroy the wicked attachments of the senses, u r foolish enough to think that the senses themselves are destroyed! Your higher Self only purifies the lower self; It does not destroy it.
Soul - that's what I said yday abt d limitation will always be there. The solution is to stay conscious so that I don't react towards my limitation. Hence the practice of Now and contact wit Inner body is important to raise our consciousness.
(19 Mar 2010; Soul - Amazingly this is what samyama practices are all about)
Sad over food
Feb 8 evenin
Jus now did meditation. I haven't laugh this long for some time now. At the least for the past 3 weeks. Guess m rejoicing that my 40 veg days is nearly over.
Bhagavad Gita
The ordinary individual considers matter as real (because manifested); he ignores the Spirit as unreal (because hidden). This delusion enshrouds him in ignorance and suffering.
The wise man tears aside the appearance of delusive creation and, perceiving the Everlasting Reality, is permanently happy.
Thru meditation, man chooses to be identified wit the unchangeable Spirit, he will no longer be deluded and tortured by the pandemonium of change.
Spirit is ever-existing, ever-conscious, ever-new omnipresent Joy;
Soul is the individualised reflectionf of ever-existing, ever-conscious, ever-new Joy, confined within the body of each and every being.
Soul are the radiating rays of Spirit.
Jus now did meditation. I haven't laugh this long for some time now. At the least for the past 3 weeks. Guess m rejoicing that my 40 veg days is nearly over.
Bhagavad Gita
The ordinary individual considers matter as real (because manifested); he ignores the Spirit as unreal (because hidden). This delusion enshrouds him in ignorance and suffering.
The wise man tears aside the appearance of delusive creation and, perceiving the Everlasting Reality, is permanently happy.
Thru meditation, man chooses to be identified wit the unchangeable Spirit, he will no longer be deluded and tortured by the pandemonium of change.
Spirit is ever-existing, ever-conscious, ever-new omnipresent Joy;
Soul is the individualised reflectionf of ever-existing, ever-conscious, ever-new Joy, confined within the body of each and every being.
Soul are the radiating rays of Spirit.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Being authentic me - the most sensible choice
Feb 8
Father, at least I didn't have any tot abt office until yday nite. Even then, there were no worries.
Soul
The Power of Now says of some people who can't access the inner body becos they feel negative emotion such as anger, agitation, fear, grief
Whereas for me, when I access my inner body. I felt calm, grounded and safe. I guess all my negative emotion were expressed during the past 1.5 years of meditation, break up from guru pooja, followed by Shoonya n the remnants handled by hatha yoga. I jus felt contentment inside.
The Power of Now
Attention is the key to transformation - and full attention also implies acceptance.
Attention is like a beam of light - the focused power of ur consciousness that transmutes everything into itself.
Soul
Today I saw d massive jam n I tot the simplest thing in life is jam. No need to act, jus move along and with that I find myself calm when I arrived at office, despite 1.5 hours on d road that normally takes 0.5 hours. There was this guy infront of me who is slow n always let people cut in. I horn him twice and when I finally cut in to another lane, I looked at him. Something I wouldn't have done. I jus be scolding inside d car.
The Power of Now
In a fully functional organism, an emotion has a short life span. It is like a momentary ripple or wave on the surface of ur Being.
When u r not in ur body, however, an emotion can survive inside u for days or weeks, or join wit other emotions of similar frequency that have merged and become the pain-body, a parasite that can live inside u for years, feed on ur energy, lead to physical illness and make ur life miserable.
Forgiveness is to offer no resistance to life - to allow life to live through u. The alternatives is pain and suffering, a greatly restricted flow of life energy and in many cases, physical disease.
The moment u truly forgive, u hav reclaimed ur power from the mind.
Soul
I asked Osho. Since I have decided on d middle path. Jus be me. Forget abt enlightenment. Forget abt being great. Jus be me. Jus be happy.
The last few weeks forcing myself on strict vege makes me depressed and I wasn't even aware and then my left hand fingers swell and I knew something wrong. And then I asked myself and got a reply that Inner Me doesn't wan strict veg. Inner me jus wan to be and savour d food. Don't want to controlled. With that, I acknowledge n went for non-veg restaurant, albeit order veg dishes, and I become happy again. Equilibrium restored.
This friday goin to India and tot of my choice - Status quo and be happy, be nobody, jus learn d tools I wan to learn to heal myself. Don't have to think of others. Jus healed myself. Jus gather the knowledge cos I enjoy it or To proceed with more intense spiritual and may become somebody.
Status quo
1. New intellectual understanding becomin available to me if I status quo
The greatest miracle
The mind is always hankering. The mind is always desiring something to happen. Sometimes for money, to hav more money, bigger house, more respectability, more power.
(Soul - rich partner)
Then when u turn to spirituality; the mind still remains the same. Now u wan to have more pyschic power - telephaty, clairvoyance and all sorts of nonsense. The mind remains the same - want more.
Soul - true. I am slowly but surely away and now taking charge of my mind instead of it taking charge of me.
2. What wil happen in the world of feelings when I don't change.
Misuse of power. The only antidote for the misuse of psychic power is love; otherwise all power corrupts.
Soul - possible as I use my knowledge to my benefit. I also may not be willing to help or even look down at others. I still have not cultivated the compassionate feeling yet. I guess this is my journey of Ace of diamong - to love myself or others.
3. Manifestation as a consequnce of my choice to be status quo.
Enlightenment
Whatsoever u do, do it wit deep alertness, then even small thing become sacred.
It is not within ur hands, once u become enlightened u will have to enter into the universal source of life. It is not a question of ur choice or decision.
Soul - I am on d mode of alertness and I know wit regular practice, I will be master of my mind. while I wan to be status quo. I also know that I be growing spiritually. First instance was d hatha yoga, second is 40 days veg for samyama. Everything jus compel me along. I told P, I can't say that I choose, I just fell into it. I had no choice.
Follow the Spiritual course
1. What new intellectual understanding will become available to me should I make this choice
Transmutation - Atisha's heart meditation
Pain is natural; it has to be understood. It has to be accepted. Because naturally we avoid it. Hence many people have avoided the heart, and are hung up in the head, they live in the head.
The heart give pain, true, but only because it can give pleasure - that's why it gives pain.
Pain is the way that pleasure arrives
Agony, the door that ecstasy enters.
If one is aware of it, one accepts the pain as a blessing.
Then suddenly the quality of the pain immediately starts changing.
You are no longer antagonistic to it and because u r no longer antagonistic to it, it is no longer pain; it is a friend.
It is a fire that is going to cleanse you.
It is a transmutation, a process, in which the old will go and the new will arrive, in which the mind will disappear and the heart will function in its totality. Then life is a benediction.
Soul - pain is what I fear most. Pain of body, pain of my heart. Fear of pain from rejection is why I keep to myself. Pain from failure is why I don't explore my spiritual path. Looks like I do hav to continue if I wan to transmute my fear of pain.
Pain is what prevent me from being vulnerable and make me not compassionate and hence may misuse my power.
Suffering is blessing is my motto. But I guess m not followin it when it comes to my heart.
I confess even I am not as confident to master my mind over d partner thingy. In work, yea. In dealing wit people, yea. Perhaps that's why I still have to continue. Samyama is jus another signpost. The journey continue.
Atisha's meditation;
Breathe in all the miseries of the people in the world. All the darkness, all the negativity, all the hell that exists anywhere and anytime, past present or future, u r breathing it in. And let it be absorbed in ur heart.
Breathe out all the joys that u have, all the blissfulness that u hav, all the benediction that u have.
Breathe out, pour urself into existence.
This is the method of compassion.
Soul - exactly what I need. I jus mention about my lack of compassion moments ago.
Atisha's heart meditation
Drink in all of the suffering and pour out the blessings. And u wil be surprised if u do it. The moment u take all the sufferings inside u, they are no longer sufferigs. The heart immediately transforms the energy. The heart is a transforming force; drink in misery and it is transformed into blissfulness ... then pour it out.
Once u learn that ur heart can do this magic, this is miracle, u would do it again and again.
Soul - I have experienced this time and time again. Not sure abt breathing in the world suffering. But I brought in my suffering at work, suffering in spiritualit)y, suffering due to my cousin and I wld be crying, wailing but moments later I be laughing.
But I have never tries with my pain on relationship. I never truly truly have one. I never truly gave my heart. And hence I never truly experience pain. I hav jus scratched the surface. There is a saying, how much u love someone, is how much u pain. Can't say I have cos I always keep a part of me back. The part that can't allow me to be truly vulnerable.
I never tried to feel pain of rship, mainly m not in one right now, secondly felt that it is not justifiable as I don't have major grievances. And thirdly, I jus wan to switch it off.
Wil try to feel my pain on this matter during meditation.
2. The emotional influences arising from u growing wit ur spiritual path. What wil happen in ur world of feelings.
Authenticity - Milarepa and the false teacher.
The real thing is not a path. The real thing is the authenticity of the seeker.
You can travel on any path.
If u r sincere and authentic, u will reach the goal.
Your authenticity brings you back home, nothing elses.
All path are secondary. The basic thing is to be authentic, to be true.
Soul - yeah! Authentice means being real, being true to myself. Being real to what I am able to do instead of following others blindly.
The more I walked, the more I know that as long as I am sincere, I need not follow others path.
It is me that I hav to be honest wit. It is my path and not another.
This also give me the confidence that my middle path is fine.
3. Manifestatuon indicates the broader changes in ur life or understanding are likely to result as a consequence of ur choice to continue to grow spiritually
Desire - the magical begging bowl.
When u desire something, ur joy depends on that something.
If it is taken away, u r miserable.
If it is given to u, u r happy. But only for a moment!
That too has to be understood.
Whenever ur desire is fulfilled, it is only for the moment that u feel joy.
It is fleeting, because once u got it, again the mind starts desiring for more, for something else.
Mind exists in desiring, mind can never leave u without desire.
If u r without desire, mind dies immediately. That's the whole secret of meditation.
Have u tot of ur own begging bowl? Everything disappears - prestige, power, respectability, riches and your begging bowl goes on opening its mouth for more. And the "more" takes u away from this.
The desire, the longing for something else takes u away from this moment.
There are only 2 kinds of people in the world
1. The majority are running after shadows; their begging bowls will remain with them till they enter their graves.
2. A very small minority, one in a million, stops running, drops all desires, asks for nothing - and suddenly he finds everything within himself.
Once u have looked into the implications of the two alternatives - turn the first card over for an insight on what the choiceless awareness migh be.
Worth - on the virtue of worthlessness
Move in the world as if u r not. Remain unknown.
Don't try to be first.
Don't be competitive.
Don't try to prove ur worth. There is no need. Remain useless and enjoy
Soul - I will continue to grow but I will be true to my own path. If its doesn't lead me to anywhere, it doesn't matter cos I will remain in happiness.
Father, at least I didn't have any tot abt office until yday nite. Even then, there were no worries.
Soul
The Power of Now says of some people who can't access the inner body becos they feel negative emotion such as anger, agitation, fear, grief
Whereas for me, when I access my inner body. I felt calm, grounded and safe. I guess all my negative emotion were expressed during the past 1.5 years of meditation, break up from guru pooja, followed by Shoonya n the remnants handled by hatha yoga. I jus felt contentment inside.
The Power of Now
Attention is the key to transformation - and full attention also implies acceptance.
Attention is like a beam of light - the focused power of ur consciousness that transmutes everything into itself.
Soul
Today I saw d massive jam n I tot the simplest thing in life is jam. No need to act, jus move along and with that I find myself calm when I arrived at office, despite 1.5 hours on d road that normally takes 0.5 hours. There was this guy infront of me who is slow n always let people cut in. I horn him twice and when I finally cut in to another lane, I looked at him. Something I wouldn't have done. I jus be scolding inside d car.
The Power of Now
In a fully functional organism, an emotion has a short life span. It is like a momentary ripple or wave on the surface of ur Being.
When u r not in ur body, however, an emotion can survive inside u for days or weeks, or join wit other emotions of similar frequency that have merged and become the pain-body, a parasite that can live inside u for years, feed on ur energy, lead to physical illness and make ur life miserable.
Forgiveness is to offer no resistance to life - to allow life to live through u. The alternatives is pain and suffering, a greatly restricted flow of life energy and in many cases, physical disease.
The moment u truly forgive, u hav reclaimed ur power from the mind.
Soul
I asked Osho. Since I have decided on d middle path. Jus be me. Forget abt enlightenment. Forget abt being great. Jus be me. Jus be happy.
The last few weeks forcing myself on strict vege makes me depressed and I wasn't even aware and then my left hand fingers swell and I knew something wrong. And then I asked myself and got a reply that Inner Me doesn't wan strict veg. Inner me jus wan to be and savour d food. Don't want to controlled. With that, I acknowledge n went for non-veg restaurant, albeit order veg dishes, and I become happy again. Equilibrium restored.
This friday goin to India and tot of my choice - Status quo and be happy, be nobody, jus learn d tools I wan to learn to heal myself. Don't have to think of others. Jus healed myself. Jus gather the knowledge cos I enjoy it or To proceed with more intense spiritual and may become somebody.
Status quo
1. New intellectual understanding becomin available to me if I status quo
The greatest miracle
The mind is always hankering. The mind is always desiring something to happen. Sometimes for money, to hav more money, bigger house, more respectability, more power.
(Soul - rich partner)
Then when u turn to spirituality; the mind still remains the same. Now u wan to have more pyschic power - telephaty, clairvoyance and all sorts of nonsense. The mind remains the same - want more.
Soul - true. I am slowly but surely away and now taking charge of my mind instead of it taking charge of me.
2. What wil happen in the world of feelings when I don't change.
Misuse of power. The only antidote for the misuse of psychic power is love; otherwise all power corrupts.
Soul - possible as I use my knowledge to my benefit. I also may not be willing to help or even look down at others. I still have not cultivated the compassionate feeling yet. I guess this is my journey of Ace of diamong - to love myself or others.
3. Manifestation as a consequnce of my choice to be status quo.
Enlightenment
Whatsoever u do, do it wit deep alertness, then even small thing become sacred.
It is not within ur hands, once u become enlightened u will have to enter into the universal source of life. It is not a question of ur choice or decision.
Soul - I am on d mode of alertness and I know wit regular practice, I will be master of my mind. while I wan to be status quo. I also know that I be growing spiritually. First instance was d hatha yoga, second is 40 days veg for samyama. Everything jus compel me along. I told P, I can't say that I choose, I just fell into it. I had no choice.
Follow the Spiritual course
1. What new intellectual understanding will become available to me should I make this choice
Transmutation - Atisha's heart meditation
Pain is natural; it has to be understood. It has to be accepted. Because naturally we avoid it. Hence many people have avoided the heart, and are hung up in the head, they live in the head.
The heart give pain, true, but only because it can give pleasure - that's why it gives pain.
Pain is the way that pleasure arrives
Agony, the door that ecstasy enters.
If one is aware of it, one accepts the pain as a blessing.
Then suddenly the quality of the pain immediately starts changing.
You are no longer antagonistic to it and because u r no longer antagonistic to it, it is no longer pain; it is a friend.
It is a fire that is going to cleanse you.
It is a transmutation, a process, in which the old will go and the new will arrive, in which the mind will disappear and the heart will function in its totality. Then life is a benediction.
Soul - pain is what I fear most. Pain of body, pain of my heart. Fear of pain from rejection is why I keep to myself. Pain from failure is why I don't explore my spiritual path. Looks like I do hav to continue if I wan to transmute my fear of pain.
Pain is what prevent me from being vulnerable and make me not compassionate and hence may misuse my power.
Suffering is blessing is my motto. But I guess m not followin it when it comes to my heart.
I confess even I am not as confident to master my mind over d partner thingy. In work, yea. In dealing wit people, yea. Perhaps that's why I still have to continue. Samyama is jus another signpost. The journey continue.
Atisha's meditation;
Breathe in all the miseries of the people in the world. All the darkness, all the negativity, all the hell that exists anywhere and anytime, past present or future, u r breathing it in. And let it be absorbed in ur heart.
Breathe out all the joys that u have, all the blissfulness that u hav, all the benediction that u have.
Breathe out, pour urself into existence.
This is the method of compassion.
Soul - exactly what I need. I jus mention about my lack of compassion moments ago.
Atisha's heart meditation
Drink in all of the suffering and pour out the blessings. And u wil be surprised if u do it. The moment u take all the sufferings inside u, they are no longer sufferigs. The heart immediately transforms the energy. The heart is a transforming force; drink in misery and it is transformed into blissfulness ... then pour it out.
Once u learn that ur heart can do this magic, this is miracle, u would do it again and again.
Soul - I have experienced this time and time again. Not sure abt breathing in the world suffering. But I brought in my suffering at work, suffering in spiritualit)y, suffering due to my cousin and I wld be crying, wailing but moments later I be laughing.
But I have never tries with my pain on relationship. I never truly truly have one. I never truly gave my heart. And hence I never truly experience pain. I hav jus scratched the surface. There is a saying, how much u love someone, is how much u pain. Can't say I have cos I always keep a part of me back. The part that can't allow me to be truly vulnerable.
I never tried to feel pain of rship, mainly m not in one right now, secondly felt that it is not justifiable as I don't have major grievances. And thirdly, I jus wan to switch it off.
Wil try to feel my pain on this matter during meditation.
2. The emotional influences arising from u growing wit ur spiritual path. What wil happen in ur world of feelings.
Authenticity - Milarepa and the false teacher.
The real thing is not a path. The real thing is the authenticity of the seeker.
You can travel on any path.
If u r sincere and authentic, u will reach the goal.
Your authenticity brings you back home, nothing elses.
All path are secondary. The basic thing is to be authentic, to be true.
Soul - yeah! Authentice means being real, being true to myself. Being real to what I am able to do instead of following others blindly.
The more I walked, the more I know that as long as I am sincere, I need not follow others path.
It is me that I hav to be honest wit. It is my path and not another.
This also give me the confidence that my middle path is fine.
3. Manifestatuon indicates the broader changes in ur life or understanding are likely to result as a consequence of ur choice to continue to grow spiritually
Desire - the magical begging bowl.
When u desire something, ur joy depends on that something.
If it is taken away, u r miserable.
If it is given to u, u r happy. But only for a moment!
That too has to be understood.
Whenever ur desire is fulfilled, it is only for the moment that u feel joy.
It is fleeting, because once u got it, again the mind starts desiring for more, for something else.
Mind exists in desiring, mind can never leave u without desire.
If u r without desire, mind dies immediately. That's the whole secret of meditation.
Have u tot of ur own begging bowl? Everything disappears - prestige, power, respectability, riches and your begging bowl goes on opening its mouth for more. And the "more" takes u away from this.
The desire, the longing for something else takes u away from this moment.
There are only 2 kinds of people in the world
1. The majority are running after shadows; their begging bowls will remain with them till they enter their graves.
2. A very small minority, one in a million, stops running, drops all desires, asks for nothing - and suddenly he finds everything within himself.
Once u have looked into the implications of the two alternatives - turn the first card over for an insight on what the choiceless awareness migh be.
Worth - on the virtue of worthlessness
Move in the world as if u r not. Remain unknown.
Don't try to be first.
Don't be competitive.
Don't try to prove ur worth. There is no need. Remain useless and enjoy
Soul - I will continue to grow but I will be true to my own path. If its doesn't lead me to anywhere, it doesn't matter cos I will remain in happiness.
Outer happiness is temporary
Feb 7
Jus watched d movie, she found d partner who makes each other becomes more than who they are. Then he died jus before their reunion. Another indication, nothing is lasting in d form. Enjoy and appreciate while u can.
Bhagavad Gita
Notes
It has been found that no technique of external physiological treatment may be expected to provide a cure for chronic pain unless the patient commit herself or himself to a systematic inner changes in thoughts and behaviour. As of result this discovery, pain specialist are beginning to recognise the great practical utilitu of the science of yoga in dealing with the physical and mental causes of chronic pain.
Jus watched d movie, she found d partner who makes each other becomes more than who they are. Then he died jus before their reunion. Another indication, nothing is lasting in d form. Enjoy and appreciate while u can.
Bhagavad Gita
Notes
It has been found that no technique of external physiological treatment may be expected to provide a cure for chronic pain unless the patient commit herself or himself to a systematic inner changes in thoughts and behaviour. As of result this discovery, pain specialist are beginning to recognise the great practical utilitu of the science of yoga in dealing with the physical and mental causes of chronic pain.
My body can moves to the music
Feb 6
Jus now did teeth cleaning. Felt d fear climbing up, tensing and feeling pain. I juse went in to feel my inner body. Jus focus on my heart while d dentist was grilling my teeth and pain lessen immediately.
Learning to be with my inner body. When I do that I felt myself rooted to the earth.
I know 2 things I want to learn. I jus wan to learn becos it resonates wit me, it heal myself and it makes me happy. I told C that for now I will kiv the website. I jus wan to equipped myself wit d tool.
The 2 things are 7thundercards and medical symptons resulting from psychological issues.
The spiritual journey is a continuous ones. So great.
Evening
Jus came back for Philharmonic performance. Fantastic harmony. I was able to move wit the music. This is a first for me. Previously, I wld be wondering when it will end. This time, I am able to experience it thru and thru.
Am also glad I shared wit LK.
Of cos, during d performance wonder why didn't share wit my family. Me, always friends first. Or perhaps m hoping to meet someone. Is that it??? Mmm, jus feel my inner being. That's what I wan to do.
Jus saw d ending of the movie, d actress said she prefers to do nothing and be happy, rather than to do something and be unhappy.
That's my tot exactly, Earlier, I jus wan to end d unhappiness. Not knowing what I wld do, but jus know that m unhappy. Now, at least I know I want to learn n explore 7thunder card and Medical intuitiveness.
Bhagavad Gita
In the transient realm of time and space, there is constant change or cessation, in form and expression; but the essence within these changes endures.
Everlasting is the soul of man (the true Self) and the soul of the universe (Krisha or Christ Consciousness)
The wise do not expect to reap everlasting happiness from friends, beloved family or dear possessions! The form of loves ones are snatched away by death. Material objects turn out to be meaningless when one becomes used to them; or when, in old age, the senses grow unappreciative.
Concentrate on the immortal Spirit through meditation and find there a harvest of eternal, ever new peace!
Pain and pleasure come and go, like bubbles on the sea of time.
Ignore them or bear them with a brave, cheerful heart and even mind!
If feeling can be neutralised, then all experiences will be merely intellectually cognises, ideas to be properly acted upon.
The mind is the soul power for recognition of any bodily sensation.
Sensations are powerful or powerless according to whether the mind is or is not, impressed by them.
A strong, controlled mind can ignore external stimuli, for no sensory sensations can be perceived by man without the acceptance and response of his mind. (Soul _ wonder if this could be the reason why I am no longer affected by CEO's tyranny)
The conditioned responses of the mind, are largely hereditary. But the degree of sensitivity in each person, which determines how much he is bound by his inheritance, is of his own making.
When a man adopts a nonexcitable state toward sorrows, a nonattached state toward temporary happiness, a stoicism toward irritants that arouse fear and anger and pain, his mind attains an unruffled state of poise. (Soul - towards sorrow and anger, I can. But towards temporary happiness, not yet. Yday, no sleep, do make me wonder..if I should hold on to temporary happiness)
Jus now did teeth cleaning. Felt d fear climbing up, tensing and feeling pain. I juse went in to feel my inner body. Jus focus on my heart while d dentist was grilling my teeth and pain lessen immediately.
Learning to be with my inner body. When I do that I felt myself rooted to the earth.
I know 2 things I want to learn. I jus wan to learn becos it resonates wit me, it heal myself and it makes me happy. I told C that for now I will kiv the website. I jus wan to equipped myself wit d tool.
The 2 things are 7thundercards and medical symptons resulting from psychological issues.
The spiritual journey is a continuous ones. So great.
Evening
Jus came back for Philharmonic performance. Fantastic harmony. I was able to move wit the music. This is a first for me. Previously, I wld be wondering when it will end. This time, I am able to experience it thru and thru.
Am also glad I shared wit LK.
Of cos, during d performance wonder why didn't share wit my family. Me, always friends first. Or perhaps m hoping to meet someone. Is that it??? Mmm, jus feel my inner being. That's what I wan to do.
Jus saw d ending of the movie, d actress said she prefers to do nothing and be happy, rather than to do something and be unhappy.
That's my tot exactly, Earlier, I jus wan to end d unhappiness. Not knowing what I wld do, but jus know that m unhappy. Now, at least I know I want to learn n explore 7thunder card and Medical intuitiveness.
Bhagavad Gita
In the transient realm of time and space, there is constant change or cessation, in form and expression; but the essence within these changes endures.
Everlasting is the soul of man (the true Self) and the soul of the universe (Krisha or Christ Consciousness)
The wise do not expect to reap everlasting happiness from friends, beloved family or dear possessions! The form of loves ones are snatched away by death. Material objects turn out to be meaningless when one becomes used to them; or when, in old age, the senses grow unappreciative.
Concentrate on the immortal Spirit through meditation and find there a harvest of eternal, ever new peace!
Pain and pleasure come and go, like bubbles on the sea of time.
Ignore them or bear them with a brave, cheerful heart and even mind!
If feeling can be neutralised, then all experiences will be merely intellectually cognises, ideas to be properly acted upon.
The mind is the soul power for recognition of any bodily sensation.
Sensations are powerful or powerless according to whether the mind is or is not, impressed by them.
A strong, controlled mind can ignore external stimuli, for no sensory sensations can be perceived by man without the acceptance and response of his mind. (Soul _ wonder if this could be the reason why I am no longer affected by CEO's tyranny)
The conditioned responses of the mind, are largely hereditary. But the degree of sensitivity in each person, which determines how much he is bound by his inheritance, is of his own making.
When a man adopts a nonexcitable state toward sorrows, a nonattached state toward temporary happiness, a stoicism toward irritants that arouse fear and anger and pain, his mind attains an unruffled state of poise. (Soul - towards sorrow and anger, I can. But towards temporary happiness, not yet. Yday, no sleep, do make me wonder..if I should hold on to temporary happiness)
Limitation will always be there - moment to moment awareness is required
Feb 5
Father, thank u. For a while there, I tot I was following Paramahansa wrongly. I couldn't relate. Now realise that the senses he is talking abt is not jus food per se. It is also sensation of emotion and tot. I guess I was feeling judged n found lacking on d food issue.
And like normal, defense mechanism of rebellion came up. If I can't have my way, I won't follow u and u cannot be my Guide. Although my friend V said the same thing, but I hold back and preserve cos I told him that the timing of the spiritual devt is so coincidental that I think there is something here. So, I preserve and alas reach d rainbow after the period of cloud of unknowing.
And yday d same message by Paramahansa on d Power of Now.
Everything is coming together. I m ready for Samyama. I know what I truly want. To be conscious in the Now. And to do that is to disidentify wit my mind. Take charge of it, manage it, retrain it to give me only good and helpful tot. Give me the strength to dissolve its negative tots.
Limitation will always be there. But it is not a real limitation cos if we manage to control our mind, we can control our action beyond limitation and that is mastery of the mind. We have to take charge back. It is like a tantrum child that is wild. But it has the potential to be great and I want to harness my mind to be great.
Jus now during meditation, suddenly tot of Jini (the artist in d korean drama. Forsaking everything to pursue her passion in dancing.) She said she can tell people that she is one of the great wonder in her state. She dances well and makes people and herself happy. She give herself and others new beginning everyday. The dance of happiness wash away any tears of unhappiness.
I also tot that I too am great to the world cos I can contribute. Then I cried cos while I can contribute, I don't. I am no one.
The Power of Now
The key is to be in a state of permanent connectedness with ur inner body - to feel it at all times. This will rapidly deepen and transform ur life.
Soul - can do via meditation to junp start. After one and half year, I can now feel my inner body whenever I want to. Amen
The Power of Now
The more consciousness you direct into the inner body, the higher its vibrational frequency becomes, much like the light that grows brighter as u turn up the dimmer swith and so increase electricity.
At this higher energy level, negativity cannot affect you anymore and you tend to attract new circumstances that reflect this higher frequency. (Soul _ on Mar 12, I find myself not 'receiving' any effect from CEO's anger...could this be the reason? The breathe watching is a form of looking into my inner body)
Soul
I recall a few mths back. I told myself enough of contraction tot, whereby keep on thinkin we need to reduce cost n hence CEO hav to go. I told myself why can't I hav expansion tot, just think of new biz dropping instead.
Alas today got news that we reinstated our major client revenue and that means 2010 will be good. Now we can give the staffing required. Don't have to tell Regional this yet. Jus talk abt rental renewal for 1 year or 9 mths till end April 2011.
The Power of Now
If u keep ur attention centred in the inner body as much as possible, u will be anchored in the Now.
You won't lose urself in the external world and you won't lose yourself in your mind.
Thoughts and emotions, fears and desires, may still be there to some extent, but they cannot take you over..
Soul - exactly my tot. I have only one objective in Samyama. To engulfe Sadhguru presence to enhance my energy level so that it stay permanent, during and after meditation.
This is also his message to me. Ride on him.
Father, thank u for loving me, for believing in me, for guiding me, for correcting me.
The Power of Now
See if u can touch ur inner body while doing things. Keep some attention within.
Don't let if all flow out.
Feel your whole body from within, as a single field of energy. It is almost as if you were listening or reading wit ur whole body.
Let this be your practice in the days and weeks to come.
Soul - will do.
Father, thank u. For a while there, I tot I was following Paramahansa wrongly. I couldn't relate. Now realise that the senses he is talking abt is not jus food per se. It is also sensation of emotion and tot. I guess I was feeling judged n found lacking on d food issue.
And like normal, defense mechanism of rebellion came up. If I can't have my way, I won't follow u and u cannot be my Guide. Although my friend V said the same thing, but I hold back and preserve cos I told him that the timing of the spiritual devt is so coincidental that I think there is something here. So, I preserve and alas reach d rainbow after the period of cloud of unknowing.
And yday d same message by Paramahansa on d Power of Now.
Everything is coming together. I m ready for Samyama. I know what I truly want. To be conscious in the Now. And to do that is to disidentify wit my mind. Take charge of it, manage it, retrain it to give me only good and helpful tot. Give me the strength to dissolve its negative tots.
Limitation will always be there. But it is not a real limitation cos if we manage to control our mind, we can control our action beyond limitation and that is mastery of the mind. We have to take charge back. It is like a tantrum child that is wild. But it has the potential to be great and I want to harness my mind to be great.
Jus now during meditation, suddenly tot of Jini (the artist in d korean drama. Forsaking everything to pursue her passion in dancing.) She said she can tell people that she is one of the great wonder in her state. She dances well and makes people and herself happy. She give herself and others new beginning everyday. The dance of happiness wash away any tears of unhappiness.
I also tot that I too am great to the world cos I can contribute. Then I cried cos while I can contribute, I don't. I am no one.
The Power of Now
The key is to be in a state of permanent connectedness with ur inner body - to feel it at all times. This will rapidly deepen and transform ur life.
Soul - can do via meditation to junp start. After one and half year, I can now feel my inner body whenever I want to. Amen
The Power of Now
The more consciousness you direct into the inner body, the higher its vibrational frequency becomes, much like the light that grows brighter as u turn up the dimmer swith and so increase electricity.
At this higher energy level, negativity cannot affect you anymore and you tend to attract new circumstances that reflect this higher frequency. (Soul _ on Mar 12, I find myself not 'receiving' any effect from CEO's anger...could this be the reason? The breathe watching is a form of looking into my inner body)
Soul
I recall a few mths back. I told myself enough of contraction tot, whereby keep on thinkin we need to reduce cost n hence CEO hav to go. I told myself why can't I hav expansion tot, just think of new biz dropping instead.
Alas today got news that we reinstated our major client revenue and that means 2010 will be good. Now we can give the staffing required. Don't have to tell Regional this yet. Jus talk abt rental renewal for 1 year or 9 mths till end April 2011.
The Power of Now
If u keep ur attention centred in the inner body as much as possible, u will be anchored in the Now.
You won't lose urself in the external world and you won't lose yourself in your mind.
Thoughts and emotions, fears and desires, may still be there to some extent, but they cannot take you over..
Soul - exactly my tot. I have only one objective in Samyama. To engulfe Sadhguru presence to enhance my energy level so that it stay permanent, during and after meditation.
This is also his message to me. Ride on him.
Father, thank u for loving me, for believing in me, for guiding me, for correcting me.
The Power of Now
See if u can touch ur inner body while doing things. Keep some attention within.
Don't let if all flow out.
Feel your whole body from within, as a single field of energy. It is almost as if you were listening or reading wit ur whole body.
Let this be your practice in the days and weeks to come.
Soul - will do.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Breakthru from limbo
Feb 4
Jus done d evening meditation. Deep n I didn't wan to wake up. Same this mornin too.
My mind is a great wheeler. Reading the Power of Now give me clarity on what I wan to achieve in Samyama.
Earlier I wanted to break free of my limitation.
Now I realised my mind perceived limitation will always be there. It is when I am conscious that I m not led by d limitation.
So, now I jus wan to be as conscious as long as possible. Moment to moment.
I used to be on self-control mode and now I aim for self-mastery mode.
Jus now when doing shakti, tot of rental space reduction comes in furiously during kapala bhakti. I couldn't stop it. I cried out to Sadhguru. I told him that I am unable to stop my mind from churning. Help me. I cried and cried. Then stop, tots gone and I start to laugh and laugh.
I then tot is ok for d wild churning, at least I am now committed to be in the Now.
Amen.
I know for sure Father is always wit me. The New Earth and the Power of Now is so timely. Jus d right mode I need for Samyama.
I am for balancing path. I wan to enjoy my senses. In order to do that I must also stay conscious. That is d tool to balance it.
Sadhguru's msg
Peeling ur own hide
Sure not an easy ride
Piece by piece if u tear
You will be unable to bear
Let this me get beneath ur hide
In one piece, it will fall by the side
Fall in step with my stride
For sure it will be an easy ride
I jus cried and cried cos d poem resonate with me. For years, I was opening up doors after doors, uncovering my unconsciousness. Doing away wit my pride, learnt lot of humility. Before I reached Isha, I was at my ends, never ending doors. It is too much for me to bear. I can only open so many doors on my own.
Sadhguru is saying let me ride on him. He will help me to peel all straight off.
Yeap, that's what he will do in Samyama.
Amen.
Father, it really has been a long time. I felt at ease. I felt safe. I felt sure.
Coincidentally I just ended d period of uncertainty in Bhagavad Gita yday nite and this mornin I hav so much laughter n I can't wake up as I was deep in. Did an extra 15 min.
Bhagavad Gita
One ought not be a hypocrite in anything. There should be a connection of equality between one's life and the expression of one's thoughts.
He who cannot stand firm in righteous behavior before a test of the Almighty loses the right to speak as a wise man.
The test of man's wisdom is his equanimity. Little stones that are pelted into the lake of consciousness should not throw the whole lake into commotion.
Soul - tot of PA and even a friend who claimed that their spirituality is at advance level, but still under heavy ego influence. Mmm, what abt me?
Bhagavad Gita
The moral here is that one must relinquish the mental state of playing the roles of Jekyll and Hyde, of talking like the wise and acting like the ignorant.
This duality must be avoided by acting wisely as well as speaking like the wise. The illumined devotee synchronises his actions with his utterances and follows the good advice he may often give to others.
Soul - I do unless m lost in my tot.
Tot of my mind playing politics until I now lost trust in it.
Bhagavad Gita
To forsake the ignorant double life, the devotee should not be stirred by the restless changes of life nor fearful of the momentary calmness of so-called death (suspension of physical activity)
The wise do not indulge in grief for things that are inevitably changeable and evanescent.
The distressful changes in life and death seem real because of man's sense of possession -"my body, my family, my acquirement"
Soul - I m definitely stirred. I recalled I decided I stopped wanting challenges to show m good and justify my existence. When I m in calm mode, I will be fearful, but now I can tell myself to savour and prolong it and need not worried that I am useless and will be thrown out. Though now less cos RA will remind me to be balanced.
Mmm, don't take things personally and that help to release thing.
Bhagavad Gita
The dance of life and the danse macabre must be unchangingly, immovably, unswervingly perceived from the safe anchorage of soul consciousness.
Thru yoga concentration, u can master the restlessness that is synonymous with mortal life, and experience consciously the complete calmness or silence, accompanying freedom from identification with the body.
When the devotee reaches this immutable state of perfection, he witnesses all the changes of life and death (thoughts and emotions) without being moved by them.
The state of constant calmness (neutralisation of restless tots) is attained by the continuous practice of meditation.
Those who look at the surface of the sea must behold the birth and death of the waves. But those who seeks the depth of the ocean behold one indivisible mass of water.
Forget the past, for it is gone from your domain!
Forget the future, for it is beyond your reach!
Control the present!
Live supremely well now!
It will whitewash the dark past and compel the future to be bright. This is the way of the wise.
Soul
Father, same msg as the Power of Now. To use rootedness in Being so to avoid reacting to the minds and its wheeling thoughts.
The msg is to be in the Now.
Father, U r great. Thanks for loving me, guiding me.
Amen.
Jus done d evening meditation. Deep n I didn't wan to wake up. Same this mornin too.
My mind is a great wheeler. Reading the Power of Now give me clarity on what I wan to achieve in Samyama.
Earlier I wanted to break free of my limitation.
Now I realised my mind perceived limitation will always be there. It is when I am conscious that I m not led by d limitation.
So, now I jus wan to be as conscious as long as possible. Moment to moment.
I used to be on self-control mode and now I aim for self-mastery mode.
Jus now when doing shakti, tot of rental space reduction comes in furiously during kapala bhakti. I couldn't stop it. I cried out to Sadhguru. I told him that I am unable to stop my mind from churning. Help me. I cried and cried. Then stop, tots gone and I start to laugh and laugh.
I then tot is ok for d wild churning, at least I am now committed to be in the Now.
Amen.
I know for sure Father is always wit me. The New Earth and the Power of Now is so timely. Jus d right mode I need for Samyama.
I am for balancing path. I wan to enjoy my senses. In order to do that I must also stay conscious. That is d tool to balance it.
Sadhguru's msg
Peeling ur own hide
Sure not an easy ride
Piece by piece if u tear
You will be unable to bear
Let this me get beneath ur hide
In one piece, it will fall by the side
Fall in step with my stride
For sure it will be an easy ride
I jus cried and cried cos d poem resonate with me. For years, I was opening up doors after doors, uncovering my unconsciousness. Doing away wit my pride, learnt lot of humility. Before I reached Isha, I was at my ends, never ending doors. It is too much for me to bear. I can only open so many doors on my own.
Sadhguru is saying let me ride on him. He will help me to peel all straight off.
Yeap, that's what he will do in Samyama.
Amen.
Father, it really has been a long time. I felt at ease. I felt safe. I felt sure.
Coincidentally I just ended d period of uncertainty in Bhagavad Gita yday nite and this mornin I hav so much laughter n I can't wake up as I was deep in. Did an extra 15 min.
Bhagavad Gita
One ought not be a hypocrite in anything. There should be a connection of equality between one's life and the expression of one's thoughts.
He who cannot stand firm in righteous behavior before a test of the Almighty loses the right to speak as a wise man.
The test of man's wisdom is his equanimity. Little stones that are pelted into the lake of consciousness should not throw the whole lake into commotion.
Soul - tot of PA and even a friend who claimed that their spirituality is at advance level, but still under heavy ego influence. Mmm, what abt me?
Bhagavad Gita
The moral here is that one must relinquish the mental state of playing the roles of Jekyll and Hyde, of talking like the wise and acting like the ignorant.
This duality must be avoided by acting wisely as well as speaking like the wise. The illumined devotee synchronises his actions with his utterances and follows the good advice he may often give to others.
Soul - I do unless m lost in my tot.
Tot of my mind playing politics until I now lost trust in it.
Bhagavad Gita
To forsake the ignorant double life, the devotee should not be stirred by the restless changes of life nor fearful of the momentary calmness of so-called death (suspension of physical activity)
The wise do not indulge in grief for things that are inevitably changeable and evanescent.
The distressful changes in life and death seem real because of man's sense of possession -"my body, my family, my acquirement"
Soul - I m definitely stirred. I recalled I decided I stopped wanting challenges to show m good and justify my existence. When I m in calm mode, I will be fearful, but now I can tell myself to savour and prolong it and need not worried that I am useless and will be thrown out. Though now less cos RA will remind me to be balanced.
Mmm, don't take things personally and that help to release thing.
Bhagavad Gita
The dance of life and the danse macabre must be unchangingly, immovably, unswervingly perceived from the safe anchorage of soul consciousness.
Thru yoga concentration, u can master the restlessness that is synonymous with mortal life, and experience consciously the complete calmness or silence, accompanying freedom from identification with the body.
When the devotee reaches this immutable state of perfection, he witnesses all the changes of life and death (thoughts and emotions) without being moved by them.
The state of constant calmness (neutralisation of restless tots) is attained by the continuous practice of meditation.
Those who look at the surface of the sea must behold the birth and death of the waves. But those who seeks the depth of the ocean behold one indivisible mass of water.
Forget the past, for it is gone from your domain!
Forget the future, for it is beyond your reach!
Control the present!
Live supremely well now!
It will whitewash the dark past and compel the future to be bright. This is the way of the wise.
Soul
Father, same msg as the Power of Now. To use rootedness in Being so to avoid reacting to the minds and its wheeling thoughts.
The msg is to be in the Now.
Father, U r great. Thanks for loving me, guiding me.
Amen.
Present - being conscious of ur inner mental-emotional state
Feb 3
The Power of Now
Not in the Now
1. What if - worrier. The mind projecting itself into an imaginary future situation and creating fear.
You can always cope with the Now, but u can never cope with the future - nor do u have to. The answer, the strength, the right action or the resource will be there when u need it, not before, not after.
2. One day I will make it - the goal makes the present is jus a means to an end.
No matter what u achieve or get, the present will never be good enough, the future will always seems better. A perfect recipe for permanent dissatisfaction and non-fulfillment.
3. Habitual waiter. Want the future and not the present. Waiting for next vacation, for better job, waiting for a truly meaningul rship, waiting to become enlightened, waiting got success - waiting to start living.
You don't want what u got, and u wanted what u haven't got. U unconsciously create an inner longing.
Soul - I have learn enough to know that the future will be the same as the present or even the past if we don't grow.
That's why m focus on growing in the present cos d future will jus be an extrapolation of present.
Yday nite when doing meditation, I have tot of food like bacon, pork and etc. And the night before I dreamt of a room full of cooked fish.
This morning I recall my Passion is food and enjoyment of food with hubby. I also want coffee. So, I know d middle path is for me.
The Power of Now
There is nothing wrong with striving to improve ur life situation. You can improve ur life situation but u cannot improve ur life. Life is primary, is ur deepest inner Being.
Your life situation consists of ur circumstances and ur experiences.
There is nothing wrong wit setting goals and striving to achieve things. The mistake likes in using it as a substitute for the feeling of life, for Being. The only point of access for that is the Now.
You are like an architect who pays no attention to the foundation of a building but spends a lot of time working on the superstructure.
The more u practice monitoring ur inner mental-emotional state, the easier it will be to know when u have been trapped in past or future, which is to say unconscious, and to awaken out of the dream of time into the present
The outer purpose belongs to horizontal time - with what and where
The inner purpose concerns a deepening of ur Being in the vertical dimensios of the timeless Now - how u r.
This is both the purpose and the fulfillment of ur inner journey, the journey into urself.
Soul - I have been on the Self Journey for quite some time now. People have says that m too intense in getting to know myself. But I jus continue. The journey has led me to fully accept myself.
The Power of Now
Question - does it matter whether we achieve our outer purpose, whether we succeed or fail in the world?
Answer - It will matter as long as u haven't realised ur inner purpose. After u know ur inner purpose, the outer purpose is just a game that u may continue to play simply because u enjoy it.
It is also possible to fail completely in ur outer purpose and the same time totally succeed in ur inner purpose.
The sooner u realise that ur outer purpose cannot give u a lasting fulfillment, the better it is and u will make ur outer purpose subservient to ur inner purpose.
(Soul - mmm, i know i succeeded in my inner purpose. Of cos, dont see the 'change' in outer purpose. I have been judging myself, guess it is okay now. Jus focus on my inner purpose, to guide me. The inner transformation is still new, so not able to guide me in my outer purpose yet.)
Question - How could we ever become conscious of all our past conditioning or get rid of it? How long would that take? And even if we did, what would there be left.
Answer - What is left when illusion end. There is no need to investigate the unconscious past in u except as it manifest at this moment as a tot, an emotion, a desire, a reaction or an external event that happens to u.
Whatever u need to know about the unconscious past in u, the challenges of the present will bring it out.
If u delve into the past, it will become a bottomless pit. There is always more.
You may think that u need more time to understand the past or become free of it, in other word, that the future will eventually free u of the past. This is a delusion.
Only the present can free u of the past. More time cannot free u of time. Access the power of Now. That is the key.
Soul - exactly. I first read this in 2002 and repeated in 2003. Why I didn't see this? I only realised the futility of digging my unconscious issue as it is a bottomless pit in 2007 and 2008. Also know that my shitty mind is creating more issue. So never ending.
The Power of Now
Now is none other than the power of ur presence, ur consciousness liberated from thought forms.
So deal with the past on the level of the present.
Give attention to the present, give attention to ur behaviour, ur reactions, moods, tots, emotions, fear and desires as they occur in the present. There's the past in u.
If u can be present enough to watch all those things, not critically or analytically but non-judgmentally, then u r dealing with the past and dissolving it through the power of ur presence.
You cannot find yourself by going into the past.
You find yourself by coming into the present.
As u become more conscious of ur present reality, u may suddenly get insight as to why ur conditioning functions in those particular ways. That is fine and helpful, but it is not essential.
What is essential is ur conscious presence. That dissolves the past. That is the the transformative agent.
So don't seek to understand the past, but to be as present as u can.
The past cannot survive in ur presence. The past can only survive in ur absence.
Soul - amen.
Feb 3 Evenin
For d first time, didn't do meditation in d evenin. Was late today at hairstylist. Also, I don't wan to force myself. Jus let things be. Ego tot came on CEO iphone thingy, again another issue. Good thing is I stayed present despite many rounds of future fear tot. I told ego, I will handle it when it comes. Need not worry abt it now.
The power of now is really true. Jus focus on my tot n stay present. When m present, m conscious. (Glad I stay present, turn out, she was jus using the number for spare, going forward jus one phone only - iphone)
Bhagavad Gita
Devotee has behold Spirit as the Lord of Senses and is far enough advanced to be spoken of as the "Conqueror of Ignorance and "the Tormenter of the Sense Enemies through the Fire of Self Control" - yet has not attained an unshakable determination to subdue the senses.
He remains mentally inactive, neither advancing spiritually nor going backward.
Unable to decide, and finding the pull between virtue and vice of equal strength, he remains without further effort at meditation, inwardly saying "O God of the Universe! I will not go through the pitiable task of this slaughter".
Soul - mmm, like how I feel now. Jus now did shoonya in hair saloon and I felt d connection immediately.
Bhagavad
When the mind remain neutrtel while beholding the two opposite armies of self-control and sens temptation, it feels sad and discouraged; but the devotee who offer absolute resignation the the Divine Will hears the voice of Spirit thru his intuition.
The Power of Now
Not in the Now
1. What if - worrier. The mind projecting itself into an imaginary future situation and creating fear.
You can always cope with the Now, but u can never cope with the future - nor do u have to. The answer, the strength, the right action or the resource will be there when u need it, not before, not after.
2. One day I will make it - the goal makes the present is jus a means to an end.
No matter what u achieve or get, the present will never be good enough, the future will always seems better. A perfect recipe for permanent dissatisfaction and non-fulfillment.
3. Habitual waiter. Want the future and not the present. Waiting for next vacation, for better job, waiting for a truly meaningul rship, waiting to become enlightened, waiting got success - waiting to start living.
You don't want what u got, and u wanted what u haven't got. U unconsciously create an inner longing.
Soul - I have learn enough to know that the future will be the same as the present or even the past if we don't grow.
That's why m focus on growing in the present cos d future will jus be an extrapolation of present.
Yday nite when doing meditation, I have tot of food like bacon, pork and etc. And the night before I dreamt of a room full of cooked fish.
This morning I recall my Passion is food and enjoyment of food with hubby. I also want coffee. So, I know d middle path is for me.
The Power of Now
There is nothing wrong with striving to improve ur life situation. You can improve ur life situation but u cannot improve ur life. Life is primary, is ur deepest inner Being.
Your life situation consists of ur circumstances and ur experiences.
There is nothing wrong wit setting goals and striving to achieve things. The mistake likes in using it as a substitute for the feeling of life, for Being. The only point of access for that is the Now.
You are like an architect who pays no attention to the foundation of a building but spends a lot of time working on the superstructure.
The more u practice monitoring ur inner mental-emotional state, the easier it will be to know when u have been trapped in past or future, which is to say unconscious, and to awaken out of the dream of time into the present
The outer purpose belongs to horizontal time - with what and where
The inner purpose concerns a deepening of ur Being in the vertical dimensios of the timeless Now - how u r.
This is both the purpose and the fulfillment of ur inner journey, the journey into urself.
Soul - I have been on the Self Journey for quite some time now. People have says that m too intense in getting to know myself. But I jus continue. The journey has led me to fully accept myself.
The Power of Now
Question - does it matter whether we achieve our outer purpose, whether we succeed or fail in the world?
Answer - It will matter as long as u haven't realised ur inner purpose. After u know ur inner purpose, the outer purpose is just a game that u may continue to play simply because u enjoy it.
It is also possible to fail completely in ur outer purpose and the same time totally succeed in ur inner purpose.
The sooner u realise that ur outer purpose cannot give u a lasting fulfillment, the better it is and u will make ur outer purpose subservient to ur inner purpose.
(Soul - mmm, i know i succeeded in my inner purpose. Of cos, dont see the 'change' in outer purpose. I have been judging myself, guess it is okay now. Jus focus on my inner purpose, to guide me. The inner transformation is still new, so not able to guide me in my outer purpose yet.)
Question - How could we ever become conscious of all our past conditioning or get rid of it? How long would that take? And even if we did, what would there be left.
Answer - What is left when illusion end. There is no need to investigate the unconscious past in u except as it manifest at this moment as a tot, an emotion, a desire, a reaction or an external event that happens to u.
Whatever u need to know about the unconscious past in u, the challenges of the present will bring it out.
If u delve into the past, it will become a bottomless pit. There is always more.
You may think that u need more time to understand the past or become free of it, in other word, that the future will eventually free u of the past. This is a delusion.
Only the present can free u of the past. More time cannot free u of time. Access the power of Now. That is the key.
Soul - exactly. I first read this in 2002 and repeated in 2003. Why I didn't see this? I only realised the futility of digging my unconscious issue as it is a bottomless pit in 2007 and 2008. Also know that my shitty mind is creating more issue. So never ending.
The Power of Now
Now is none other than the power of ur presence, ur consciousness liberated from thought forms.
So deal with the past on the level of the present.
Give attention to the present, give attention to ur behaviour, ur reactions, moods, tots, emotions, fear and desires as they occur in the present. There's the past in u.
If u can be present enough to watch all those things, not critically or analytically but non-judgmentally, then u r dealing with the past and dissolving it through the power of ur presence.
You cannot find yourself by going into the past.
You find yourself by coming into the present.
As u become more conscious of ur present reality, u may suddenly get insight as to why ur conditioning functions in those particular ways. That is fine and helpful, but it is not essential.
What is essential is ur conscious presence. That dissolves the past. That is the the transformative agent.
So don't seek to understand the past, but to be as present as u can.
The past cannot survive in ur presence. The past can only survive in ur absence.
Soul - amen.
Feb 3 Evenin
For d first time, didn't do meditation in d evenin. Was late today at hairstylist. Also, I don't wan to force myself. Jus let things be. Ego tot came on CEO iphone thingy, again another issue. Good thing is I stayed present despite many rounds of future fear tot. I told ego, I will handle it when it comes. Need not worry abt it now.
The power of now is really true. Jus focus on my tot n stay present. When m present, m conscious. (Glad I stay present, turn out, she was jus using the number for spare, going forward jus one phone only - iphone)
Bhagavad Gita
Devotee has behold Spirit as the Lord of Senses and is far enough advanced to be spoken of as the "Conqueror of Ignorance and "the Tormenter of the Sense Enemies through the Fire of Self Control" - yet has not attained an unshakable determination to subdue the senses.
He remains mentally inactive, neither advancing spiritually nor going backward.
Unable to decide, and finding the pull between virtue and vice of equal strength, he remains without further effort at meditation, inwardly saying "O God of the Universe! I will not go through the pitiable task of this slaughter".
Soul - mmm, like how I feel now. Jus now did shoonya in hair saloon and I felt d connection immediately.
Bhagavad
When the mind remain neutrtel while beholding the two opposite armies of self-control and sens temptation, it feels sad and discouraged; but the devotee who offer absolute resignation the the Divine Will hears the voice of Spirit thru his intuition.
Main resistance - food
Feb 2
Father, I jus preservere. This morning, surprisingly woke up even before alarm bell. But do recall that I turn my body at night n resulting in cramping left shoulder. The good thing is that my finger on left hand has stopped swelling. Perhaps the tussle between ego and soul is gone, for now.
These days, whenever tot came in, which is mostly future, before my mind extrapolate, I wld says that its future n brush it off.
The Power of Now
Deep pain body such as the loss of a loved one, usually needs to be transumted through acceptance combined wit the light of ur presence - sustained attention.
Many patterns in ordinary unconsciousness, on the other hand, can simply be dropped once u know that u don't want them and don't need them anymore, once u realised u have a choice and that u r not jus a bundle of conditioned reflexes. All this implies that u r able to access the power of Now. Without it, u have no choice.
Soul
Suddenly tot of my RA. Perhaps its a case of resistance and not jus control.
The Power of Now
When ur mind judged the present moment as bad; this judgement then created the negative emotion.
Soul - mmm, no wonder RA acting up. I shld be realistic and realise that ego won't let go of food. And its not just ego, is also me cos food represent happiness that is within my control. Happiness that doesn't need anyone. Happiness that doesn't leave.
So, perhaps that's why d RA activated. Outwardly I was sayin m fine, but inside m not.
The Power of Now
Once a mind pattern, an emotion or a reaction is there, accept it and u r less likely to project them onto others.
You were not conscious enough to have a choice in the matter. That's not judgement, jus a fact.
If u have a choice, wld u choose suffering or joy.
Only people who are in deeply negative state, who feel very bad indeed, would create such a reality as a reflection of how they feel.
Once u have been practising acceptance of ur negative emotion for a while, there comes a point when u need to go on to the next stage, where those negative emotion are not created anymore.
If you don't, your "acceptance" jus becomes a mental label that allows ur ego to continue to indulge in unhappiness and so strengthen the sense of separation from other people.
Soul - for a moment, tot it hit me on my spiritual practice and also d way I view acceptance. Over here, is saying I m still choosing ego. (Now reading it during my blog update, Samyama program is to enable us not to have negative emotion anymore....really timely. Father, you are always there for me.)
The Power of Now
True acceptance would transmute those feelings at once. And if u really knew deeply that everything is "okay", as u put it, and which of course is true, then would u have chosen negative feeling in the first place?
Without judgement, without resistance to what is, negative feeling would not arise.
You have an idea in ur mind that "everything is okay", but deep down u don't really believe it, and so the old mental-emotional patterns of resistance is still in place. That's okay, too.
Soul - how true. Father, again ur message is on d dot. If I hav read this a week ago, I wouldn't have acknowledge this but now I do. Its like a case of u know, but u don't practise, so u don't really know.
The Power of Now
Are u defending ur right to be unconscious, ur right to suffer.
Don't worry, nobody is going to take that away from u.
Once u realise that a certain kind of food make u sick, would you carry on eating that food and keep on asserting that it is okay to be sick.
Soul - Father, u reall hit it on the nail. That's how I was feeling inside, although I wasn't aware until yday and now I know today.
I can't say I wil change after samyama. But I know for d next 2 weeks I will preservere without resistance.
RA - not jus not using control on the outer resistance but must also be aware of the inner resistance. Cos d friction is still there and RA will be activated. At least, I now go further into the root of RA.
The Power of Now
To complain is always the non-acceptance of what is. It invariably carries unconscious negative charge.
When u complain, u make urself into a victim.
When u speak out, u r in power.
So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible'
Leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.
You must choose now and then accept the consequences.
No excuses. No negativity. No psychic pollution. Keep ur inner space clean.
Soul - I have accepted it.
The Power of Now
If u take any action - leaving or changing ur situation - drop the negativity first, if at all possible. Action arising out of insight into what is required is more effective than action arising out of negativity.
Soul - I did it. When I wanted to quit. I let it simmer first n see if I really wanted after I calm down and I did. So I proceed.
This is similar to the advice I give V. He need to take stock of d negative situation first before making a decision.
The Power of Now
Any action is often better than no action, especially if u hav been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least u learn something, in which case its no longer a mistake. If u remain stuck, u learn nothing.
Is fear preventing u from taking action? Acknowledge the fear, watch it, take ur attention ino it, be fully present wit it. Doing so cuts the link between the fear and ur thinking.
Don't let fear rise up into ur mind. Use the power of Now. Fear cannot prevail against it.
Soul - this one not for ego person like me and V, but definitely for J.
52 days - 3 of Heart
I always says that meditation and food is equally important.
Now alas, I am facing a period whereby meditation has to come first and I m using control for execution and ignoring my feeling for Food. Now wonder immune system is acting up.
Which to choose?
Food is sure and tested and has been wit me since day 1.
Meditation while is joyful but require discipline and the outcome is uncertain unlike food. Meditation is stil new 1.5 years vs food of 43 years.
I can't decide.
For now due to Samyama, I hav to choose meditation. But I will acknowledge it is difficult and I am not happy cos I lost my old friend that gives me happiness everytime.
Feb 2 Afternoon
Father, thank u. Whenever m down, U wil pick me up.
Good sharing wit V. He talks abt doing the middle path is the more difficult as u need to do the balancing act.
The middle path is for me. And that's where I wan to lead others. Now I realised why I was havin a conflict. Reading Paramahansa led me to believe there is no hope for me in my middle path. And I am also not keen on Osho, the other extreme. And doing this diet for Samyama tells me that renunciation is not for me.
Mmm, perhaps that d reason for d sorrow, for me to find my own path.
1. Issue - sorrow
Sorrow can be times of transformation. But in order for transformation to happen, u must go deep, to the roots of ur pain and experience it as it is, without blame or self pity.
2. Internal influence - control
Controlled persons are always nervous because deep down turmoil is hidden. If u r uncontrolled, flowing, alive, then u r not nervous. U hav no expectations for the future.
To control the mind, one has to remain so cold and frozen that no life energy is allowed to move into ur limbs, into ur body. If energy is allowed to move, those repressions will suffice.
Soul - no wonder my meditation is getting duller.
3. External influence - Intensity
Avoid all the great words and great teachings as u hav to find your own source. You have not to be a follower. You have to find ur innermost core on ur own, wit no guide, no guiding scriptures. It is a dark night, but wit the intense fire of inquiry, u r bound to come to the sunrise.
Soul - my love for food. I wonder whether I hav my partner, I still love food. Yes, I will. Father, help me to look deeper.
4. What is needed for resolution - Integration
The conflict is in man. Unless it is resolved there, it cannot be resolved anywhere else. The politics is within u, it is between 2 parts of the mind, joined by a small bridge. If the bridge is strengthened so much that the 2 mind disappears, as two become one, then integration arises. The meeting of ying and yang; eagle and swan.
This is a card of self-creation, new life and mystical union, otherwise known as alchemy.
Soul - timely reminder. Perhaps my target in Samyama is to bridge the gap and not jus to release limitation. But perhaps its the same.
5. The resolution - Ordinariness.
Sometimes it happens tha u become one. You forgot ur split, u relax.
Whenever, in whatsoever situation, u become one, a peace, a happiness, a bliss, surrounds you, arises in u. You feel fulfilled.
The most mundane taks take on a sacred quality when they are performed wit ur total involvement, with love and for their own sake, without tot of recognition or reward.
Taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Soul - the Power of Now.
The Power of Now
If there is truly nothing that u can do to change ur here and now and u can't remove urself from the situation, accept all by dropping ur inner resistance.
Surrender. Only a surrendered person has spiritual power.
Soul _ jus now doing Shoonya, I felt relaxed and laughed a long time and I felt connected . It has been awhile.
The Power of Now
Stress is caused by being "here" but wanting to be "there" or being in the present but wanting to be in the future. As u move, work, run - do it totally. Enjoy the flow of Energy.
Observe ur mind. Smile at it as it want to move u to future.
Did my meditation n found m slowly connected back. And for the first time since veg, m looking forward to meditation. Amen. When I loosen myself wit d pork lard egg tart, I find myself happier and when I m happier, I look forward to the meditation.
Like what V said, d middle path is difficult cos hav to balance.
I think he is right, but there is little price to pay and d benefits is loads. So, what if I won't reach enlightenment. As long I live ok and I m aware, then things be fine.
Frankly, I think Paramahansa loads on d senses. Actually senses may not be food, ie, physical outlet but also include emotional, mental and material outlet. Recalling his autobiography, I recall he only like food. He isn't into emotional display. He is not into mental nor material display. Perhaps for him, is only food n sex.
Bhagavad Gita
Free from rivals
1. Proscription of Self discipline
1a. Prescription of Self discipline
2. Postures
3. Mastery of life energy
4. Mental interiorisation
5. Mental concentration
6. Meditation
7. Ecstasy.
Through yoga, the body become ripe with wisdom and spiritual power, and invulnerable to physical maladies through control over atomic vibrations, acquitrd by contracting in meditation, the cosmic vibration of Aum, the source of all powers of lie. This state is known as "gaining spiritual prosperity on earth".
Father, I jus preservere. This morning, surprisingly woke up even before alarm bell. But do recall that I turn my body at night n resulting in cramping left shoulder. The good thing is that my finger on left hand has stopped swelling. Perhaps the tussle between ego and soul is gone, for now.
These days, whenever tot came in, which is mostly future, before my mind extrapolate, I wld says that its future n brush it off.
The Power of Now
Deep pain body such as the loss of a loved one, usually needs to be transumted through acceptance combined wit the light of ur presence - sustained attention.
Many patterns in ordinary unconsciousness, on the other hand, can simply be dropped once u know that u don't want them and don't need them anymore, once u realised u have a choice and that u r not jus a bundle of conditioned reflexes. All this implies that u r able to access the power of Now. Without it, u have no choice.
Soul
Suddenly tot of my RA. Perhaps its a case of resistance and not jus control.
The Power of Now
When ur mind judged the present moment as bad; this judgement then created the negative emotion.
Soul - mmm, no wonder RA acting up. I shld be realistic and realise that ego won't let go of food. And its not just ego, is also me cos food represent happiness that is within my control. Happiness that doesn't need anyone. Happiness that doesn't leave.
So, perhaps that's why d RA activated. Outwardly I was sayin m fine, but inside m not.
The Power of Now
Once a mind pattern, an emotion or a reaction is there, accept it and u r less likely to project them onto others.
You were not conscious enough to have a choice in the matter. That's not judgement, jus a fact.
If u have a choice, wld u choose suffering or joy.
Only people who are in deeply negative state, who feel very bad indeed, would create such a reality as a reflection of how they feel.
Once u have been practising acceptance of ur negative emotion for a while, there comes a point when u need to go on to the next stage, where those negative emotion are not created anymore.
If you don't, your "acceptance" jus becomes a mental label that allows ur ego to continue to indulge in unhappiness and so strengthen the sense of separation from other people.
Soul - for a moment, tot it hit me on my spiritual practice and also d way I view acceptance. Over here, is saying I m still choosing ego. (Now reading it during my blog update, Samyama program is to enable us not to have negative emotion anymore....really timely. Father, you are always there for me.)
The Power of Now
True acceptance would transmute those feelings at once. And if u really knew deeply that everything is "okay", as u put it, and which of course is true, then would u have chosen negative feeling in the first place?
Without judgement, without resistance to what is, negative feeling would not arise.
You have an idea in ur mind that "everything is okay", but deep down u don't really believe it, and so the old mental-emotional patterns of resistance is still in place. That's okay, too.
Soul - how true. Father, again ur message is on d dot. If I hav read this a week ago, I wouldn't have acknowledge this but now I do. Its like a case of u know, but u don't practise, so u don't really know.
The Power of Now
Are u defending ur right to be unconscious, ur right to suffer.
Don't worry, nobody is going to take that away from u.
Once u realise that a certain kind of food make u sick, would you carry on eating that food and keep on asserting that it is okay to be sick.
Soul - Father, u reall hit it on the nail. That's how I was feeling inside, although I wasn't aware until yday and now I know today.
I can't say I wil change after samyama. But I know for d next 2 weeks I will preservere without resistance.
RA - not jus not using control on the outer resistance but must also be aware of the inner resistance. Cos d friction is still there and RA will be activated. At least, I now go further into the root of RA.
The Power of Now
To complain is always the non-acceptance of what is. It invariably carries unconscious negative charge.
When u complain, u make urself into a victim.
When u speak out, u r in power.
So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible'
Leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.
You must choose now and then accept the consequences.
No excuses. No negativity. No psychic pollution. Keep ur inner space clean.
Soul - I have accepted it.
The Power of Now
If u take any action - leaving or changing ur situation - drop the negativity first, if at all possible. Action arising out of insight into what is required is more effective than action arising out of negativity.
Soul - I did it. When I wanted to quit. I let it simmer first n see if I really wanted after I calm down and I did. So I proceed.
This is similar to the advice I give V. He need to take stock of d negative situation first before making a decision.
The Power of Now
Any action is often better than no action, especially if u hav been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least u learn something, in which case its no longer a mistake. If u remain stuck, u learn nothing.
Is fear preventing u from taking action? Acknowledge the fear, watch it, take ur attention ino it, be fully present wit it. Doing so cuts the link between the fear and ur thinking.
Don't let fear rise up into ur mind. Use the power of Now. Fear cannot prevail against it.
Soul - this one not for ego person like me and V, but definitely for J.
52 days - 3 of Heart
I always says that meditation and food is equally important.
Now alas, I am facing a period whereby meditation has to come first and I m using control for execution and ignoring my feeling for Food. Now wonder immune system is acting up.
Which to choose?
Food is sure and tested and has been wit me since day 1.
Meditation while is joyful but require discipline and the outcome is uncertain unlike food. Meditation is stil new 1.5 years vs food of 43 years.
I can't decide.
For now due to Samyama, I hav to choose meditation. But I will acknowledge it is difficult and I am not happy cos I lost my old friend that gives me happiness everytime.
Feb 2 Afternoon
Father, thank u. Whenever m down, U wil pick me up.
Good sharing wit V. He talks abt doing the middle path is the more difficult as u need to do the balancing act.
The middle path is for me. And that's where I wan to lead others. Now I realised why I was havin a conflict. Reading Paramahansa led me to believe there is no hope for me in my middle path. And I am also not keen on Osho, the other extreme. And doing this diet for Samyama tells me that renunciation is not for me.
Mmm, perhaps that d reason for d sorrow, for me to find my own path.
1. Issue - sorrow
Sorrow can be times of transformation. But in order for transformation to happen, u must go deep, to the roots of ur pain and experience it as it is, without blame or self pity.
2. Internal influence - control
Controlled persons are always nervous because deep down turmoil is hidden. If u r uncontrolled, flowing, alive, then u r not nervous. U hav no expectations for the future.
To control the mind, one has to remain so cold and frozen that no life energy is allowed to move into ur limbs, into ur body. If energy is allowed to move, those repressions will suffice.
Soul - no wonder my meditation is getting duller.
3. External influence - Intensity
Avoid all the great words and great teachings as u hav to find your own source. You have not to be a follower. You have to find ur innermost core on ur own, wit no guide, no guiding scriptures. It is a dark night, but wit the intense fire of inquiry, u r bound to come to the sunrise.
Soul - my love for food. I wonder whether I hav my partner, I still love food. Yes, I will. Father, help me to look deeper.
4. What is needed for resolution - Integration
The conflict is in man. Unless it is resolved there, it cannot be resolved anywhere else. The politics is within u, it is between 2 parts of the mind, joined by a small bridge. If the bridge is strengthened so much that the 2 mind disappears, as two become one, then integration arises. The meeting of ying and yang; eagle and swan.
This is a card of self-creation, new life and mystical union, otherwise known as alchemy.
Soul - timely reminder. Perhaps my target in Samyama is to bridge the gap and not jus to release limitation. But perhaps its the same.
5. The resolution - Ordinariness.
Sometimes it happens tha u become one. You forgot ur split, u relax.
Whenever, in whatsoever situation, u become one, a peace, a happiness, a bliss, surrounds you, arises in u. You feel fulfilled.
The most mundane taks take on a sacred quality when they are performed wit ur total involvement, with love and for their own sake, without tot of recognition or reward.
Taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Soul - the Power of Now.
The Power of Now
If there is truly nothing that u can do to change ur here and now and u can't remove urself from the situation, accept all by dropping ur inner resistance.
Surrender. Only a surrendered person has spiritual power.
Soul _ jus now doing Shoonya, I felt relaxed and laughed a long time and I felt connected . It has been awhile.
The Power of Now
Stress is caused by being "here" but wanting to be "there" or being in the present but wanting to be in the future. As u move, work, run - do it totally. Enjoy the flow of Energy.
Observe ur mind. Smile at it as it want to move u to future.
Did my meditation n found m slowly connected back. And for the first time since veg, m looking forward to meditation. Amen. When I loosen myself wit d pork lard egg tart, I find myself happier and when I m happier, I look forward to the meditation.
Like what V said, d middle path is difficult cos hav to balance.
I think he is right, but there is little price to pay and d benefits is loads. So, what if I won't reach enlightenment. As long I live ok and I m aware, then things be fine.
Frankly, I think Paramahansa loads on d senses. Actually senses may not be food, ie, physical outlet but also include emotional, mental and material outlet. Recalling his autobiography, I recall he only like food. He isn't into emotional display. He is not into mental nor material display. Perhaps for him, is only food n sex.
Bhagavad Gita
Free from rivals
1. Proscription of Self discipline
1a. Prescription of Self discipline
2. Postures
3. Mastery of life energy
4. Mental interiorisation
5. Mental concentration
6. Meditation
7. Ecstasy.
Through yoga, the body become ripe with wisdom and spiritual power, and invulnerable to physical maladies through control over atomic vibrations, acquitrd by contracting in meditation, the cosmic vibration of Aum, the source of all powers of lie. This state is known as "gaining spiritual prosperity on earth".
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