Jan 3 Aft
Father, I was surprised that Z called me back in the morning. He has never done this before. Normally I would have to call him. We spoke a bit as we r both busy at work.
I am happy he called back. Such irony, just when it no longer bothers me. Just when I accepted our situation and decided to stay, he finally changed.
For me, I must be conscious of this window of opportunity. There is a tendency for me to avoid out of fear. I just have to remember he is a Diamond and he is for keeps.
Osho
1. The Issue
Integration.
The eagle and the swan are both beings of flight and majesty. The eagle is the embodiment of power and aloneness. The swan is the embodiment of space and purity, gently floating and diving, upon and within the element of the emotions, entirely content and complete within her perfection and beauty.
We are the union of eagle and swan. This card of integration is the symbol of self-creation, new life and mystical union.
Soul
I am beginning to feel like both the eagle and swan in me. Both are equally strong but I am still not sure on which comes first, which to follow. I guess this card is about integration.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Projection.
Ur mind is at the back of the whole thing and the mind is the projector. This agency of the mind is the problem, because mind can create only dreams.
Through ur excitement, the dream starts looking like reality. A projection can be devilish or divine, disturbing or comforting, but it is a projection nonetheless.
Soul
I had negative tot that the change in Z is not real. Well, I didn't expect it and it comes. When it comes to r'ship, I want to use my positive imagination. I deserved to be loved by Z and alas he has open up to loving me.
3. External influence of which u r aware
Ordinariness
U r facing a time now when this easy, natural and utterly ordinary approach to the situations u encounter will bring far better results than any attempt on ur part to be brilliant, clever or extraordinary. Just taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Soul
Mmm, one thing is the action plan for company. I am not carrying it on my shoulder, and I am taking a simple way of discussing with the boss.
As for Z, I too am taking his change comfortably. While I am happy, I am not overly excited as I want him to flow at his own pace. I waited for one year plus and I have decided to stay even when there is no hope. So, just go with the flow.
4. What is needed for resolution
Conditioning
Unless u drop ur personality, u will not be able to find ur individuality. Individuality is given by existence; personality is imposed by the society.
Soul
Well, going with the flow is new to me. I am surprised that I can. With the biz is negative, with Z is positive but yet I am taking both neutrally. Not rushing it nor pushing it on my own. Just letting things be, irrespective positive or negative. My role is just to respond, I no longer need to be overly excited or burdened. Just act and need not react.
Father,u r Great. Suddenly I found a sense of calm flowing in my body. Just feeling contented despite the negative turbulence at work and positive change in Z.
5. The understanding
Change
Life repeats itself mindlessly - unless u become mindful, it will go one repeating like a wheel. Birth followed by death, death followed by birth and etc. One day feeling good, and the next day so unhappy.
And it goes on and on, but u don't see the pattern.
It has often been said that the only unchanging thing in the world is change itself. Life is continuously changing, evolving, dying and being reborn. All opposites play a part in this vast circular pattern. If u cling to the edge of the wheel, u can get dizzy!
Move toward the center of the cyclone and relax, knowing that this too will pass.
Soul
Exactly.
I can now handle the turbulence at office.
I will also be able to handle the change in Z. I am still not sure where he is heading but I am following his lead and yet stay grounded.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Mind - Judging (Inner Parent and Inner Child)
Jan 3
Today practice was fine. Asanas was quite effortless except plough back not so great. Shakti was fine. I was interrupted by worrying tots of the brush container and height of glass panel during Shambavi. It turns out that the worrying tot was correct on brush container but not correct on the glass panel.
I realised the mind keep on rehashing old tots, generally creating doubts and uncertainty. I then tell my mind that its small matter.
On my bathroom and bedroom, it will be done by end of this week, I hope.
Self-parenting - John K. Pollard (1987)
Inner conversations also occur with more intensity during more stressful life situations.
Your inner conversations are the key to ur true tots and feelings. Since u must know what u want in order to get it, ur inner conversations will tell u, in the most direct way possible, exactly what u r thinking and feeling so that u can get exactly what.
Studying ur inner conversations can also revealed the concealed barriers to ur personal happiness. Every emotional/mental problem u have in life takes place initially as a conflict within ur Inner conversations.
Soul
I don't recall this; "Since u must know what u want in order to get it"
I admit when it come to Z, whenever he moves one step closer, I close off a bit or tend to play it down eventhough I am happy. Why? Do I really want him or not? Or it is because I want to lower down expectation so I won't get hurt. Yea, part of me don't want to join to anyone. At times, I am just comfortable having a distant rship, which is what we r having. He is near me but our frequency of meet up is similar as if he is outstation.
A tot came, below are my response:
1. Don't need a partner
2. Want a partner
3. Don't want a partner.
4. Want a true partner.
For me, it is difficult to open my connecting door. I am afraid. Actually, I have not been hurt before but somehow fear crept in on commitment.
For Z, he has been hurt a few times before. When he is in, he goes all the way. For me, even when I am in, I hold back. It took us one year, before we actually connected physically as I can't let him in.
Self-parenting
Inner parent (rational mind / thinking)- the attitudes and opinions u absorbed from ur parents.
It has its mental opinion, intellectual advice and rational reasoning.
Inner child (emotional heart / feeling)- the attitudes and opinions u formed about ur parents and the world around u when u were young. It has its emotional feeling, irrational reactions and subjective responses.
Both Selves have needs they feel are important and that they are met. The decisions u make and the circumstances in ur life result from the combined opions of both inner parent and inner child.
Soul
The parent in me said I don't need a partner but the child in me wants one.
Self-parenting
The outer-conflict u have had with "significant others" such as ur parents, grandparents, or other role models are now being repeated inside ur mind as Inner Conflicts. They have become internalised versions of ur actual outer parent/outer child conflicts which remain unresolved.
Soul
I seldom encounter dilemma except when I am in rship.
Self-parenting
Ur inner parent has a major position of influence over ur inner child and is likely to be the voice that u hear the loudest and the longest in ur inner conversation.
If ur inner parent does not nurture ur inner child, ur joy and enthusiasm for life will be missing. This play havoc with the ability of both inner selves to be happy.
U will realise that u r still being treated and guided as if by ur parents. Only now u r doing it to urself, all by urself, within ur inner conversations.
Soul
This week Osho - Integration, between logical and illogical
This is so reflective of the book I picked up today on Self-parenting. Father, again U delivered. Amen.
What is needed for resolution - conditioning
Father, I got this card last week. Now again. I guess I didn't drop it then.
Today practice was fine. Asanas was quite effortless except plough back not so great. Shakti was fine. I was interrupted by worrying tots of the brush container and height of glass panel during Shambavi. It turns out that the worrying tot was correct on brush container but not correct on the glass panel.
I realised the mind keep on rehashing old tots, generally creating doubts and uncertainty. I then tell my mind that its small matter.
On my bathroom and bedroom, it will be done by end of this week, I hope.
Self-parenting - John K. Pollard (1987)
Inner conversations also occur with more intensity during more stressful life situations.
Your inner conversations are the key to ur true tots and feelings. Since u must know what u want in order to get it, ur inner conversations will tell u, in the most direct way possible, exactly what u r thinking and feeling so that u can get exactly what.
Studying ur inner conversations can also revealed the concealed barriers to ur personal happiness. Every emotional/mental problem u have in life takes place initially as a conflict within ur Inner conversations.
Soul
I don't recall this; "Since u must know what u want in order to get it"
I admit when it come to Z, whenever he moves one step closer, I close off a bit or tend to play it down eventhough I am happy. Why? Do I really want him or not? Or it is because I want to lower down expectation so I won't get hurt. Yea, part of me don't want to join to anyone. At times, I am just comfortable having a distant rship, which is what we r having. He is near me but our frequency of meet up is similar as if he is outstation.
A tot came, below are my response:
1. Don't need a partner
2. Want a partner
3. Don't want a partner.
4. Want a true partner.
For me, it is difficult to open my connecting door. I am afraid. Actually, I have not been hurt before but somehow fear crept in on commitment.
For Z, he has been hurt a few times before. When he is in, he goes all the way. For me, even when I am in, I hold back. It took us one year, before we actually connected physically as I can't let him in.
Self-parenting
Inner parent (rational mind / thinking)- the attitudes and opinions u absorbed from ur parents.
It has its mental opinion, intellectual advice and rational reasoning.
Inner child (emotional heart / feeling)- the attitudes and opinions u formed about ur parents and the world around u when u were young. It has its emotional feeling, irrational reactions and subjective responses.
Both Selves have needs they feel are important and that they are met. The decisions u make and the circumstances in ur life result from the combined opions of both inner parent and inner child.
Soul
The parent in me said I don't need a partner but the child in me wants one.
Self-parenting
The outer-conflict u have had with "significant others" such as ur parents, grandparents, or other role models are now being repeated inside ur mind as Inner Conflicts. They have become internalised versions of ur actual outer parent/outer child conflicts which remain unresolved.
Soul
I seldom encounter dilemma except when I am in rship.
Self-parenting
Ur inner parent has a major position of influence over ur inner child and is likely to be the voice that u hear the loudest and the longest in ur inner conversation.
If ur inner parent does not nurture ur inner child, ur joy and enthusiasm for life will be missing. This play havoc with the ability of both inner selves to be happy.
U will realise that u r still being treated and guided as if by ur parents. Only now u r doing it to urself, all by urself, within ur inner conversations.
Soul
This week Osho - Integration, between logical and illogical
This is so reflective of the book I picked up today on Self-parenting. Father, again U delivered. Amen.
What is needed for resolution - conditioning
Father, I got this card last week. Now again. I guess I didn't drop it then.
Settling down with Z (35)
Jan 2
Its a new year. I know Z and I have reached another level. He send me a new year messages with lots of love symbols. At first I tot he send to all and I gave him a cordial reply with a kiss. Later he send me his general one to tell me his msg of love symbol is meant for me only.
This morning he put up a pix of his mom and him for me to see. He looks a bit like his mom with his high cheek bones.
I tried to call him but couldn't reach. Guess he could be off-mobile as usual.
Father, last few days my right elbow joints has stiffen and there is slight pain in the morning. Today I did suria and the stiffness reduced.
This week will not be easy as the Action Plan cannot make it. Surprisingly it didn't bother me as much as I tot it would.
Sadhguru
To live and to live totally is all that one can do. There is nothing else. The only thing u can do is to raise this aliveness to the highest pitch.
Life cannot be explained; it can only be experienced. Life comes only with experience, the deeper ur experience of life, the closer u r to life. How deep u go, that is how fulfilled u r. If u go to its utmost core, u will be dissolved; nothing of u will exist anymore.
Soul
Well, at least I can say I have lived life with loads of experience.
Its a new year. I know Z and I have reached another level. He send me a new year messages with lots of love symbols. At first I tot he send to all and I gave him a cordial reply with a kiss. Later he send me his general one to tell me his msg of love symbol is meant for me only.
This morning he put up a pix of his mom and him for me to see. He looks a bit like his mom with his high cheek bones.
I tried to call him but couldn't reach. Guess he could be off-mobile as usual.
Father, last few days my right elbow joints has stiffen and there is slight pain in the morning. Today I did suria and the stiffness reduced.
This week will not be easy as the Action Plan cannot make it. Surprisingly it didn't bother me as much as I tot it would.
Sadhguru
To live and to live totally is all that one can do. There is nothing else. The only thing u can do is to raise this aliveness to the highest pitch.
Life cannot be explained; it can only be experienced. Life comes only with experience, the deeper ur experience of life, the closer u r to life. How deep u go, that is how fulfilled u r. If u go to its utmost core, u will be dissolved; nothing of u will exist anymore.
Soul
Well, at least I can say I have lived life with loads of experience.
Settling down with Z (34) - he is opening up
Dec 30
Sadhguru
Imagination is one freedom u have. So, u should make ur imagination pleasant.
Soul
Yea, I would do that. I have been creating negative imagination instead of positive ones.
Today practice was ok. I was only laughing at the flying asanas. Shakti and shambavi was fine. Nowadays I am able to catch hold of my tots.
Tot of sending msg to Z but hold back cos worried he knows I think about him. Then I tot, he already knows I love him, so don't have to hide. I also send him the msg on why I love him. I love the goodness in him. He also reminds me of my mom.
Of course no reply as he doesn't know what to say. Yes, would be commitment and no will make me put off. So, the best thing Next time he will tell me to change to liking instead.
Father, me expressing myself. Perhaps this is what my card is saying - Listening to my heart. Just be simple.
Dec 30 Eve (Change in Z)
Father, I am not sure but I think my declaration of love for Z caught him.
Today his card was Five of Spades and this 52 days till Feb is Nine of Spades.
He called me, if I recall this would be his first call on his own. We chatted on his mom, his business and then he asked me out on a date, a movie. I was surprised but happy.
But later he msg to said he can't make it as he got business meeting. I am surprised but I was fine. Perhaps its because there was no expectation on my side.
(Jan 27 - He is opening up because I become vulnerable and open up first. I must remember I am the Sun in this relationship)
Sadhguru
Imagination is one freedom u have. So, u should make ur imagination pleasant.
Soul
Yea, I would do that. I have been creating negative imagination instead of positive ones.
Today practice was ok. I was only laughing at the flying asanas. Shakti and shambavi was fine. Nowadays I am able to catch hold of my tots.
Tot of sending msg to Z but hold back cos worried he knows I think about him. Then I tot, he already knows I love him, so don't have to hide. I also send him the msg on why I love him. I love the goodness in him. He also reminds me of my mom.
Of course no reply as he doesn't know what to say. Yes, would be commitment and no will make me put off. So, the best thing Next time he will tell me to change to liking instead.
Father, me expressing myself. Perhaps this is what my card is saying - Listening to my heart. Just be simple.
Dec 30 Eve (Change in Z)
Father, I am not sure but I think my declaration of love for Z caught him.
Today his card was Five of Spades and this 52 days till Feb is Nine of Spades.
He called me, if I recall this would be his first call on his own. We chatted on his mom, his business and then he asked me out on a date, a movie. I was surprised but happy.
But later he msg to said he can't make it as he got business meeting. I am surprised but I was fine. Perhaps its because there was no expectation on my side.
(Jan 27 - He is opening up because I become vulnerable and open up first. I must remember I am the Sun in this relationship)
Practices - building a ladder
Dec 29 Aft
Sadhguru
If the longing genuinely arises in u, when ur heart really cries wanting to know, when u really know the pain of ignorance, then a master arises. U do not have to look for him because if ur longing to know has really picked up a certain intensity, and if the pain of ignorance has really gone deep into u, then a master will happen.
Soul
That's what happens to me. I was at the worst point in my life. V was even worried about me accepting Sadhguru and infact I had no resistance. I joined and now he is out. He is just a tool for me.
Sadhguru
Most minds in the world can only speak sense in bits. Continuous dialogue is always absolute nonsense. No matter how much u try to integrate it into one whole, it never happens.
If u learn how to keep the mind aside, then there is a continuous stream of sense flowing from beneath the mind, from beyond the mind.
Soul
Now that I can watch my tots, I vouch for that.
Sadhguru
U just need to learn to use ur body, mind and energies properly and u will live well.
Once u had a glimpse of something, it is foolish to try to jump again and again and have a glimpse of it. It is time u built a ladder to scale the wall, isn't it?
Jumping can happen in so many ways for so many reasons; it sometimes may even happen accidentally, but the ladder will not happen accidentally. It needs to be built. All the yoga we r trying to teach u is just a way for u to build a ladder. U must climb at ur own pace. As long as u climb to ur full potential, that is all that matter.
Soul
I know. That's what keeping me.
Sadhguru
If the longing genuinely arises in u, when ur heart really cries wanting to know, when u really know the pain of ignorance, then a master arises. U do not have to look for him because if ur longing to know has really picked up a certain intensity, and if the pain of ignorance has really gone deep into u, then a master will happen.
Soul
That's what happens to me. I was at the worst point in my life. V was even worried about me accepting Sadhguru and infact I had no resistance. I joined and now he is out. He is just a tool for me.
Sadhguru
Most minds in the world can only speak sense in bits. Continuous dialogue is always absolute nonsense. No matter how much u try to integrate it into one whole, it never happens.
If u learn how to keep the mind aside, then there is a continuous stream of sense flowing from beneath the mind, from beyond the mind.
Soul
Now that I can watch my tots, I vouch for that.
Sadhguru
U just need to learn to use ur body, mind and energies properly and u will live well.
Once u had a glimpse of something, it is foolish to try to jump again and again and have a glimpse of it. It is time u built a ladder to scale the wall, isn't it?
Jumping can happen in so many ways for so many reasons; it sometimes may even happen accidentally, but the ladder will not happen accidentally. It needs to be built. All the yoga we r trying to teach u is just a way for u to build a ladder. U must climb at ur own pace. As long as u climb to ur full potential, that is all that matter.
Soul
I know. That's what keeping me.
Living my life based on What I don't want - lead to average life..but no greatness
Dec 29
Father, woke up fine. I found myself very nimble during suria. I am able to bend backward and stay there at ease. But I don't really enjoy it. I just know I had to do it and I did it slowly. Shakti and shambavi was fine.
When I was finishing my practice, this insight arise;
Z knows what he wants and go after it, ignoring what he doesn't want. Like he wants expensive car but he forget that he doesn't want to be cash tight.
I know what I don't want and make sure it doesn't happen, ignoring what I want. I do like a lovely bathroom but I don't want to pay the price.
For Z, what is most important is what he wants, he forgot about consequences of what he doesn't want. Like he wants marriage and children but he forgot that he doesn't want unhappiness.
(Jan 27 - Suddenly tot of Z and me; He wants me and he knows I don't want children. Yet, he pursued me and we are still together after 1 year.)
For me, what is most important is what I don't want, I forgot about what I want.
Z and me is the other extreme of each other. Most people knows what they want and balance it with what they don't want.
Both Z and I needs balancing. I told Z that I don't spend and now Z know that he has to save some money as he can see that financial freedom is good.
Just tot of Sadhguru's advice. There is no wrong or right. Do whatever u want to do but just be sure u can accept the consequences.
When I was doing my practices, tots of sathsang came in. I found myself thinking of how to get others to be in sathsang. Key word is participation.
Suddenly I read about Participation in my this week Osho's external influence.
- Make participation your life style.
I just tweet ; go for what u want but remember also what u don't want.
Father, I am not sure what is meant by this week Osho of releasing my conditioning and would find all burdens released, freed.
I find myself more receptive, not feeling the need for control, just letting things be. Even the latest drama of downsizing action plan doesn't affect me. To me, it is not important, just one thing that needs to be done. And I get MD to give the action plan instead.
Father, I am no longer worried about my lack of contribution.
I have been blogging for one hour daily. Father, thanks for giving me new job as I am already bored with current one. In the old days, I would have perceive myself losing value and would want to find a new job to give me the valuation I need. Now, I am who I am. Besides my value is being able to come out with strategy.
Sadhguru
When everything becomes petty in ur life, u r turning spiritual. The so-called big things in ur life become petty when spirituality arise. It is only awareness which can induce this maturity.
When u have the awareness to see through the various activities, compulsions, when u see them simply as an endless rigmarole which does not really lead u to anything in particular, then the spiritual process can begin.
Truth is not a conclusion. Truth is not somewhere u go. It is not a destination; it is just a living experience. You cannot get to truth. U can never get to truth but u can become truth. If u drop all ur nonsense, u r truth. If u r willing to see life, experience life beyond all the limitations that u have gathered in the process of life, then u r truth.
Getting to the very source of who u r is truth. It is always there; it is just that it is covered up with the heap that u gathered in the form of ur body and ur mind.
Soul
This is similar to this week Osho's Resolution card - The burden
A man's true life is the way in which he puts off the lie imposed by others on him. Stripped, naked, natural, he is what he is. This is a matter of being, and not of becoming. The lie cannot become the truth, the personality cannot become ur soul.
The truth cannot be achieved, it is already the case. Only the lie has to be dropped.
All aims and ends and ideals and goals and ideologies, religions and system of improvement and betterment are lies. Beware of them. Recognise the fact that, as u are, u are a lie. In seeing of the lie, it disappears, and what is left is the truth.
Soul
I have seen through the lie in my jobs but not yet on food. However, I have increased my filtering by becoming more conscious of what I eat. I now eat less during dinner. Now I need to buy a weighing machine.
Suddenly tot that my life seems good because I make sure nothing unwanted happens. Now I just need to tweet to make sure what I want happens, while remembering what I don't want and my life will be great.
I still want good food but I don't want to be plump. I want to look good in photos and videos. So, can go for good food, but watch out on quantity.
(Jan 27 - suddenly it occured to me, my leadership in Isha is a lie too. Its a burden...which I released. I now feel much better.)
Four of Hearts
Sign of protection in love, marriage and family. U r feeling so fulfilled in the areas of friendship and romance.
Soul
Yeap, that's how I feel today. Just now I msg Z telling him that I got my new GPS and ready to go to his place. He has asked me a couple of times but I said nope. But now I am ready, even if we got to hide and I may have to come back on my own late at night. But with GPS, I am no longer afraid.
This is a classic case of what I want vs what I don't want.
Father, woke up fine. I found myself very nimble during suria. I am able to bend backward and stay there at ease. But I don't really enjoy it. I just know I had to do it and I did it slowly. Shakti and shambavi was fine.
When I was finishing my practice, this insight arise;
Z knows what he wants and go after it, ignoring what he doesn't want. Like he wants expensive car but he forget that he doesn't want to be cash tight.
I know what I don't want and make sure it doesn't happen, ignoring what I want. I do like a lovely bathroom but I don't want to pay the price.
For Z, what is most important is what he wants, he forgot about consequences of what he doesn't want. Like he wants marriage and children but he forgot that he doesn't want unhappiness.
(Jan 27 - Suddenly tot of Z and me; He wants me and he knows I don't want children. Yet, he pursued me and we are still together after 1 year.)
For me, what is most important is what I don't want, I forgot about what I want.
Z and me is the other extreme of each other. Most people knows what they want and balance it with what they don't want.
Both Z and I needs balancing. I told Z that I don't spend and now Z know that he has to save some money as he can see that financial freedom is good.
Just tot of Sadhguru's advice. There is no wrong or right. Do whatever u want to do but just be sure u can accept the consequences.
When I was doing my practices, tots of sathsang came in. I found myself thinking of how to get others to be in sathsang. Key word is participation.
Suddenly I read about Participation in my this week Osho's external influence.
- Make participation your life style.
I just tweet ; go for what u want but remember also what u don't want.
Father, I am not sure what is meant by this week Osho of releasing my conditioning and would find all burdens released, freed.
I find myself more receptive, not feeling the need for control, just letting things be. Even the latest drama of downsizing action plan doesn't affect me. To me, it is not important, just one thing that needs to be done. And I get MD to give the action plan instead.
Father, I am no longer worried about my lack of contribution.
I have been blogging for one hour daily. Father, thanks for giving me new job as I am already bored with current one. In the old days, I would have perceive myself losing value and would want to find a new job to give me the valuation I need. Now, I am who I am. Besides my value is being able to come out with strategy.
Sadhguru
When everything becomes petty in ur life, u r turning spiritual. The so-called big things in ur life become petty when spirituality arise. It is only awareness which can induce this maturity.
When u have the awareness to see through the various activities, compulsions, when u see them simply as an endless rigmarole which does not really lead u to anything in particular, then the spiritual process can begin.
Truth is not a conclusion. Truth is not somewhere u go. It is not a destination; it is just a living experience. You cannot get to truth. U can never get to truth but u can become truth. If u drop all ur nonsense, u r truth. If u r willing to see life, experience life beyond all the limitations that u have gathered in the process of life, then u r truth.
Getting to the very source of who u r is truth. It is always there; it is just that it is covered up with the heap that u gathered in the form of ur body and ur mind.
Soul
This is similar to this week Osho's Resolution card - The burden
A man's true life is the way in which he puts off the lie imposed by others on him. Stripped, naked, natural, he is what he is. This is a matter of being, and not of becoming. The lie cannot become the truth, the personality cannot become ur soul.
The truth cannot be achieved, it is already the case. Only the lie has to be dropped.
All aims and ends and ideals and goals and ideologies, religions and system of improvement and betterment are lies. Beware of them. Recognise the fact that, as u are, u are a lie. In seeing of the lie, it disappears, and what is left is the truth.
Soul
I have seen through the lie in my jobs but not yet on food. However, I have increased my filtering by becoming more conscious of what I eat. I now eat less during dinner. Now I need to buy a weighing machine.
Suddenly tot that my life seems good because I make sure nothing unwanted happens. Now I just need to tweet to make sure what I want happens, while remembering what I don't want and my life will be great.
I still want good food but I don't want to be plump. I want to look good in photos and videos. So, can go for good food, but watch out on quantity.
(Jan 27 - suddenly it occured to me, my leadership in Isha is a lie too. Its a burden...which I released. I now feel much better.)
Four of Hearts
Sign of protection in love, marriage and family. U r feeling so fulfilled in the areas of friendship and romance.
Soul
Yeap, that's how I feel today. Just now I msg Z telling him that I got my new GPS and ready to go to his place. He has asked me a couple of times but I said nope. But now I am ready, even if we got to hide and I may have to come back on my own late at night. But with GPS, I am no longer afraid.
This is a classic case of what I want vs what I don't want.
Meditation - create quietness to access Inner Voice
Dec 28 Aft
Success with Soul
Better choices and habits should be in alignment with our personal values. Our important decisions should reinforce and strengthen those values we hold as integral to who we are or who we wish to be.
Our decisions and habits will then transform us and strengthen us as individuals.
Our decisions should also be directed to our life's purpose and to improving the quality of our rships. Then we will be centered and purposeful in our lives.
Asking for feedback has other positive effects apart from providing us with information about ourselves. One of the most important impacts of asking for feedback is that it creates trust. When we ask for feedback we demonstrate our openness to another person's judgement.
Soul
Mmm, I normally don't ask for feedback but Z does ask from me.
Success with soul
Meditation quietens, focuses and centers us. It can heal and renew the body, providing spiritual food and reducing stress.
Personal reflection also opens channels to the soul. It can challenge us to exercise our conscience and be true to our personal values.
Finally, meditation and personal reflection allow us to listen to our inner voice, to clarify our thinking.
Meditation centers the mind and body and holds us in the present. It increases the connection we have with ourselves and ultimately the world, so it is a form of soul discovery.
Soul
Now doing budget with Action Plan for MD and I felt bit off. I am bored and not enjoying it one bit. Thank U for sending us SBT. U know that I won't be able to take this much longer.
Success with Soul
Better choices and habits should be in alignment with our personal values. Our important decisions should reinforce and strengthen those values we hold as integral to who we are or who we wish to be.
Our decisions and habits will then transform us and strengthen us as individuals.
Our decisions should also be directed to our life's purpose and to improving the quality of our rships. Then we will be centered and purposeful in our lives.
Asking for feedback has other positive effects apart from providing us with information about ourselves. One of the most important impacts of asking for feedback is that it creates trust. When we ask for feedback we demonstrate our openness to another person's judgement.
Soul
Mmm, I normally don't ask for feedback but Z does ask from me.
Success with soul
Meditation quietens, focuses and centers us. It can heal and renew the body, providing spiritual food and reducing stress.
Personal reflection also opens channels to the soul. It can challenge us to exercise our conscience and be true to our personal values.
Finally, meditation and personal reflection allow us to listen to our inner voice, to clarify our thinking.
Meditation centers the mind and body and holds us in the present. It increases the connection we have with ourselves and ultimately the world, so it is a form of soul discovery.
Soul
Now doing budget with Action Plan for MD and I felt bit off. I am bored and not enjoying it one bit. Thank U for sending us SBT. U know that I won't be able to take this much longer.
Control and Achievement - driving force
Dec 28
Father, thank U for leading me to Sadhguru and Osho and 7thunder. All three have helped me tremendously.
Today, the practice was not that great and I felt sleepy. But still I persevere to do. It is more than 3 years since I started and this will be my life time. Actually, I never tot I was doing anything great until others starts to share that they doesn't have the discipline to do the practices. I guess for me is because of RA and it motivates me and also the joy, contentment that I have experienced.
Success with soul
The need for control correlates with the need for achievement. People who desire a high degree of control have been found to aspire to higher levels of achievement, while people who have a low level desire for control have been found to aspire to lower levels of achievement.
Those people with a high need for control have also been found to respond to challenges with more effort and persist longer to solve them. People who have a low desire for control sometimes let something or someone else define what success means to them.
Soul
When it comes to work, I decide on what I perceive as success as I am in control. But when it comes to rship, I compare with others.
Success with Soul
Just because a person has a low desire for control does not mean that he is unable to take more control of his decision. It simply means that he doesn't need it nor tend to seek it. In some way, he can count his blessings that he are not driven in the way that people with a high need for control can be driven.
Soul
Alas, it was my need for control that cause me to be driven to MY"s time.
Father, I am proud of myself. I have asked Regional boss for what I want.
Success with Soul
When we make real and important choices we need to exercise our judgement, discrimination, self-control, commitment and resolve. If we believe these personal attributes are worth nurturing, we must strive to express our individuality - it is fundamental to our well-being, to our long term happiness and to finding soul in our lives. We can do this by being aware of the degree of individuality expressed in our choices when we r making decisions.
Soul
Father, I have not got insight to write more stories. Things have somewhat stalled in my writings whereas my career is moving. I feel my energy has gone down.
Success with Soul
Taking risks is about purpose and commitment. When our decisions and actions are directed towards our life's purpose and what is meaningful to us, risk-taking is put into context. Our risks are directed towards what we believe is important, not simply towards taking advantage of a lucky break or opportunity or just for the sake of it.
There is often opportunity cost in decision making and risk taking. Sometimes, when we decide not to take a risk, it can cost us twice, not just once.
Consistency is also necessary for effective decision making. Consistency refers to the stability and reliability of our decision-making
Effective decision-making often involves compromise. The ability to compromise can be a sign of maturity. Improving the quality of our relationships often requires compromise.
Once u r making effective decisions, u r well on the way to building better habits. After all, a habit is a pattern of decisions or ongoing commitment to a decision and habits, just like effective decision making, require discipline and personal commitment.
The more we put in, the more we tend to get out of life. And where we put our efforts is, more often than not, where we get our rewards.
Is it any wonder then that some people's careers flourish while their relationships flounder.
Early on in rships, we usually put in a good deal of effort to make a good impression. But how often do we get lazy and fall out of earlier good habits. We get bored and start to take those rships for granted.
Father, thank U for leading me to Sadhguru and Osho and 7thunder. All three have helped me tremendously.
Today, the practice was not that great and I felt sleepy. But still I persevere to do. It is more than 3 years since I started and this will be my life time. Actually, I never tot I was doing anything great until others starts to share that they doesn't have the discipline to do the practices. I guess for me is because of RA and it motivates me and also the joy, contentment that I have experienced.
Success with soul
The need for control correlates with the need for achievement. People who desire a high degree of control have been found to aspire to higher levels of achievement, while people who have a low level desire for control have been found to aspire to lower levels of achievement.
Those people with a high need for control have also been found to respond to challenges with more effort and persist longer to solve them. People who have a low desire for control sometimes let something or someone else define what success means to them.
Soul
When it comes to work, I decide on what I perceive as success as I am in control. But when it comes to rship, I compare with others.
Success with Soul
Just because a person has a low desire for control does not mean that he is unable to take more control of his decision. It simply means that he doesn't need it nor tend to seek it. In some way, he can count his blessings that he are not driven in the way that people with a high need for control can be driven.
Soul
Alas, it was my need for control that cause me to be driven to MY"s time.
Father, I am proud of myself. I have asked Regional boss for what I want.
Success with Soul
When we make real and important choices we need to exercise our judgement, discrimination, self-control, commitment and resolve. If we believe these personal attributes are worth nurturing, we must strive to express our individuality - it is fundamental to our well-being, to our long term happiness and to finding soul in our lives. We can do this by being aware of the degree of individuality expressed in our choices when we r making decisions.
Soul
Father, I have not got insight to write more stories. Things have somewhat stalled in my writings whereas my career is moving. I feel my energy has gone down.
Success with Soul
Taking risks is about purpose and commitment. When our decisions and actions are directed towards our life's purpose and what is meaningful to us, risk-taking is put into context. Our risks are directed towards what we believe is important, not simply towards taking advantage of a lucky break or opportunity or just for the sake of it.
There is often opportunity cost in decision making and risk taking. Sometimes, when we decide not to take a risk, it can cost us twice, not just once.
Consistency is also necessary for effective decision making. Consistency refers to the stability and reliability of our decision-making
Effective decision-making often involves compromise. The ability to compromise can be a sign of maturity. Improving the quality of our relationships often requires compromise.
Once u r making effective decisions, u r well on the way to building better habits. After all, a habit is a pattern of decisions or ongoing commitment to a decision and habits, just like effective decision making, require discipline and personal commitment.
The more we put in, the more we tend to get out of life. And where we put our efforts is, more often than not, where we get our rewards.
Is it any wonder then that some people's careers flourish while their relationships flounder.
Early on in rships, we usually put in a good deal of effort to make a good impression. But how often do we get lazy and fall out of earlier good habits. We get bored and start to take those rships for granted.
Settling down with Z (33)
Dec 27
Father, not sure of Osho cards. Only thing I could think of is the invite to Z's place. He has to make me 'hidden' so that neighbours does not know and cannot gossip to his mother. Part of me rebel and said nope. But this time a part of me said yes, cos he is truly making the effort to be with me and I know he wanted me to see his place.
And all my last week suffering was over nothing. He didn't return my call but he was planning for more time with me. Father, I am so glad I listened to U that I didn't give it a tot when I joined my family gathering. I remember his Nine of Spades card. Instead of thinking negative tot, I ask for positive tots instead. Looks like my wish is answered as he wants us to spend more time together.
Also, I was not bothered at all with the massive action plan for office. I didn't even have any tots of it at all. Today I just dropped a note to MD on impact analysis.
(Jan 27 - yea, just trust)
Osho
1. Issue
Harmony
Listen to ur heart, move according to ur heart, whatsoever the stake. To be simple is arduous, to be simple, costs everything that u have, u have to lose all to be simple.
The dolphins that emerge from the heart and make an arc towards the third eye reflect the playfulness and intelligence that comes when we r able to connect with the heart and move into the world from there.
Let urself be softer and more receptive now, because an inexpressible joy is waiting for u just around the corner.
Soul
I am feeling it a bit. At the very least I no longer make myself goes sad.
2. Internal Influence that u r unable to see
The Source
U have to learn how to be at the Source. Then the Source will decide where ur potential is. U can relax at the Source and it will take u to ur very potential.
The Source is always waiting for u, giving u life and nourishment and energy to do anything we need to accomplish something.
Just being grounded, and u don't even have to step out of ur house to find the Source.
Soul
I am beginning to see it.
3. External Influence of which u r aware
Participation.
There is so much joy around, u just have to be aware of it and to become a participant, not a spectator.
Make participation ur lifestyle and the whole existence becomes such a joy, such an ecstasy. U could not have dreamed of a better furniture.
Ur participation will not only nourish u, but will also contribute something precious to the whole.
Soul
Not exactly sure but I will participate with Z.
Also tot of Sadhguru's msg; our ability to respond is limitless
4. What is needed for resolution?
Conditioning
Unless u drop ur personality, u will not be able to find ur individuality. Individuality is given by existence; personality is imposed by the society. Personality is social convenience
Soul
Not sure but tot of my co-operation with Z's weekly session. Previously I would have said nope to all his plans. But I now realised he is doing his part in keeping and growing our relationship. It is now 1 year since we started and we still liked each other.
I have complained on his unreachability. He is now keeping his mobile near him when he is home.
Also tot of new expanded role in 2012. Great that boss reminds me to ask from current regional boss on the package I asked from E. Yea, I should be getting the same. Earlier I tot it would be notional increment since I am still in same company and since we r recruiting FC. Actually by doing so, I am helping them to save costs, so they should be giving me at least the same as what E can give.
Yea, I too must listen to my own advice. Don't sell myself short.
5. Resolution
The Burden
A man's true life is the way in which he puts off the lie imposed by others on him. Stripped, naked, natural, he is what he is. This is a matter of being, and not of becoming.
Soul
Tot of my comparison mode of my relationship with Z. We come a long way and while it is different from others, we have grown deeper and fonder of each other. I just have to trust and continue and don't compare.
Father, suddenly tot of my Result of Eight of Spades once I overcome Pluto of Seven of Spades. I am now determined not to go back to my past, not to compare and falls to insecurity with Z.
Dec 27 Eve
Now updating blog dated Dec 5 and saw this.
Ice-olation
We r miserable because we r too much in the self. When we r too much in the self, it makes us frozen - no longer flowing. If u r flowing, self cannot exist.
In love, the boundaries disappear; in joy also the boundaries disappear because joy is not cold.
Soul
Suddenly tot of my own parameters breaking away, my need for control has loosen. I am willing to go with the flow with Z. And that's the lesson with Z; let go and let God and let the focus be on us instead of me or him. It is not him winning or me losing but it is us winning.
Father, not sure of Osho cards. Only thing I could think of is the invite to Z's place. He has to make me 'hidden' so that neighbours does not know and cannot gossip to his mother. Part of me rebel and said nope. But this time a part of me said yes, cos he is truly making the effort to be with me and I know he wanted me to see his place.
And all my last week suffering was over nothing. He didn't return my call but he was planning for more time with me. Father, I am so glad I listened to U that I didn't give it a tot when I joined my family gathering. I remember his Nine of Spades card. Instead of thinking negative tot, I ask for positive tots instead. Looks like my wish is answered as he wants us to spend more time together.
Also, I was not bothered at all with the massive action plan for office. I didn't even have any tots of it at all. Today I just dropped a note to MD on impact analysis.
(Jan 27 - yea, just trust)
Osho
1. Issue
Harmony
Listen to ur heart, move according to ur heart, whatsoever the stake. To be simple is arduous, to be simple, costs everything that u have, u have to lose all to be simple.
The dolphins that emerge from the heart and make an arc towards the third eye reflect the playfulness and intelligence that comes when we r able to connect with the heart and move into the world from there.
Let urself be softer and more receptive now, because an inexpressible joy is waiting for u just around the corner.
Soul
I am feeling it a bit. At the very least I no longer make myself goes sad.
2. Internal Influence that u r unable to see
The Source
U have to learn how to be at the Source. Then the Source will decide where ur potential is. U can relax at the Source and it will take u to ur very potential.
The Source is always waiting for u, giving u life and nourishment and energy to do anything we need to accomplish something.
Just being grounded, and u don't even have to step out of ur house to find the Source.
Soul
I am beginning to see it.
3. External Influence of which u r aware
Participation.
There is so much joy around, u just have to be aware of it and to become a participant, not a spectator.
Make participation ur lifestyle and the whole existence becomes such a joy, such an ecstasy. U could not have dreamed of a better furniture.
Ur participation will not only nourish u, but will also contribute something precious to the whole.
Soul
Not exactly sure but I will participate with Z.
Also tot of Sadhguru's msg; our ability to respond is limitless
4. What is needed for resolution?
Conditioning
Unless u drop ur personality, u will not be able to find ur individuality. Individuality is given by existence; personality is imposed by the society. Personality is social convenience
Soul
Not sure but tot of my co-operation with Z's weekly session. Previously I would have said nope to all his plans. But I now realised he is doing his part in keeping and growing our relationship. It is now 1 year since we started and we still liked each other.
I have complained on his unreachability. He is now keeping his mobile near him when he is home.
Also tot of new expanded role in 2012. Great that boss reminds me to ask from current regional boss on the package I asked from E. Yea, I should be getting the same. Earlier I tot it would be notional increment since I am still in same company and since we r recruiting FC. Actually by doing so, I am helping them to save costs, so they should be giving me at least the same as what E can give.
Yea, I too must listen to my own advice. Don't sell myself short.
5. Resolution
The Burden
A man's true life is the way in which he puts off the lie imposed by others on him. Stripped, naked, natural, he is what he is. This is a matter of being, and not of becoming.
Soul
Tot of my comparison mode of my relationship with Z. We come a long way and while it is different from others, we have grown deeper and fonder of each other. I just have to trust and continue and don't compare.
Father, suddenly tot of my Result of Eight of Spades once I overcome Pluto of Seven of Spades. I am now determined not to go back to my past, not to compare and falls to insecurity with Z.
Dec 27 Eve
Now updating blog dated Dec 5 and saw this.
Ice-olation
We r miserable because we r too much in the self. When we r too much in the self, it makes us frozen - no longer flowing. If u r flowing, self cannot exist.
In love, the boundaries disappear; in joy also the boundaries disappear because joy is not cold.
Soul
Suddenly tot of my own parameters breaking away, my need for control has loosen. I am willing to go with the flow with Z. And that's the lesson with Z; let go and let God and let the focus be on us instead of me or him. It is not him winning or me losing but it is us winning.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
What is important to me?
Dec 22
Father, today I woke up feeling tired cos had late dinner and chat after volunteer meet. I start with asanas and immediately body went into motion, it likes it. I was laughing in a few asanas. Shakti and Shambavi was great and I didn't want to come out. I came out at 7.16 am without any 'sleep". Amazing, just feel so contented and the body is so relaxed and nimble.
Sadhguru's msg;
When ur mind is silent, ur intelligence explodes!
This is same as Osho's card;
What is needed for resolution - Awareness
Min can never be intelligent - only no-mind is intelligent. Only no-mind is original and radical. Only no-mind is revolutionary - revolution in action.
Soul
Father, the revenue dropped again. This time I didn't take it personally. I just think of what needs to be done.
No reply from my mail. The mind made a mini negative detour but I was not hooked. Whatever will be will be. Let go and let God.
Dec 22 Aft
Did my shoonya and felt myself trembling towards the end.
Just had lunch, save dessert for later.
A. Key content area
1. What do I do? Finance Director and Isha Lead
2. What's important to me? My financial security, my happiness, my health, my family, my boyfriend, my independence
3. What am I passionate about?
My boyfriend, my yoga practices, my Insights, Food
4. What has meaning or provides me with meaning
My yoga practices
My writing/insights/journey
My volunteering in Isha
5. What are important relationship
My family, my boyfriend, my friends, my colleagues
6. In what aspect of my life do I wish to be successful
My writings, my relationships.
Father, suddenly I am stumped. I am not sure.
I cannot say is Z, cos I know there are price to pay
I cannot say is Isha cos there is price to pay
My motivational domain
1. Self direction - curiosity, creativity, freedom, choosing own goals, independence, self-respect
2. Benevolence - helpfulness, honesty, forgiveness, loyalty, responsibility, spirituality, friendship, love, meaning in life
3. Security
Cleanliness, country/nation, reciprocation of favours, social order, family, a sense of belonging, health.
Success with Soul
Our life purpose is made up of two components:
What life demands from us
What we demand from life
Our life's purpose is defined by our response to life and life's responses to us.
Our life's purpose is measured by our actions.
Remember also that ur life's purpose should not be solely based on ur skills or what u r good at. It is what means something to u that is important, not what u can do well. Meaning is the most important dimension.
Soul
Suddenly tot of Sadhguru's msg that our ability to respond is limitless.
Father, today I woke up feeling tired cos had late dinner and chat after volunteer meet. I start with asanas and immediately body went into motion, it likes it. I was laughing in a few asanas. Shakti and Shambavi was great and I didn't want to come out. I came out at 7.16 am without any 'sleep". Amazing, just feel so contented and the body is so relaxed and nimble.
Sadhguru's msg;
When ur mind is silent, ur intelligence explodes!
This is same as Osho's card;
What is needed for resolution - Awareness
Min can never be intelligent - only no-mind is intelligent. Only no-mind is original and radical. Only no-mind is revolutionary - revolution in action.
Soul
Father, the revenue dropped again. This time I didn't take it personally. I just think of what needs to be done.
No reply from my mail. The mind made a mini negative detour but I was not hooked. Whatever will be will be. Let go and let God.
Dec 22 Aft
Did my shoonya and felt myself trembling towards the end.
Just had lunch, save dessert for later.
A. Key content area
1. What do I do? Finance Director and Isha Lead
2. What's important to me? My financial security, my happiness, my health, my family, my boyfriend, my independence
3. What am I passionate about?
My boyfriend, my yoga practices, my Insights, Food
4. What has meaning or provides me with meaning
My yoga practices
My writing/insights/journey
My volunteering in Isha
5. What are important relationship
My family, my boyfriend, my friends, my colleagues
6. In what aspect of my life do I wish to be successful
My writings, my relationships.
Father, suddenly I am stumped. I am not sure.
I cannot say is Z, cos I know there are price to pay
I cannot say is Isha cos there is price to pay
My motivational domain
1. Self direction - curiosity, creativity, freedom, choosing own goals, independence, self-respect
2. Benevolence - helpfulness, honesty, forgiveness, loyalty, responsibility, spirituality, friendship, love, meaning in life
3. Security
Cleanliness, country/nation, reciprocation of favours, social order, family, a sense of belonging, health.
Success with Soul
Our life purpose is made up of two components:
What life demands from us
What we demand from life
Our life's purpose is defined by our response to life and life's responses to us.
Our life's purpose is measured by our actions.
Remember also that ur life's purpose should not be solely based on ur skills or what u r good at. It is what means something to u that is important, not what u can do well. Meaning is the most important dimension.
Soul
Suddenly tot of Sadhguru's msg that our ability to respond is limitless.
When u r aware, mind drops
Dec 21
Father, suria was ok. Shakti and Shambavi is fine. I come to realise that the mind likes to create drama. I had earlier accepted the big shelf in bathroom. And now that the contractor has agreed to reduce it further, I should be even feel better and yet it dwells on it. Anyway, I just don't let myself got hooked. Then tots went into Z, but mostly positive.
Father, I know dinner not ok but I am managing. At least I am eating less of my normal intake.
Father, let me be open on FM. Like Datuk said, she is a blessing to me. I know if she wants to, she can do the job. She has Eight of Diamond Destiny card and King of Spades Ruling card.
Dec 21 Eve
Sadhguru
When ur mind is silent, ur intelligence explodes!
Soul
What a powerful statement. This is the key mission to get people to meditate.
Have put it in twitter and my BB profile for Z. I also changed my name to JoyOng, that's me.
Father, these last few months of volunteer meeting has now come to fruits. Alas, we have a Newsletter being released and Facebook launched. The team is also getting closer.
Father, why am I resistant or rather judgemental when people use statement such as, "when u r in this spiritual path, u r at next level, or u should know better".
My judgement is that it is arrogant to use such statement and it put people off. To me, I am not on spiritual path..I am just opening all doors, finding my True Self and be my True Self.
Yea, the one that says not in the path..is actually on the path.
Just saw my bathroom in progress and I like it. I know it is going to look great. Now just hope for the best on the rain shower. Like P said, worst case, just invest in a water pump since I had such joyful experience in using rain shower. Their advice to me is to ENJOY, same advice as Z, PA and others.
Sadhguru
When everything becomes petty in ur life, u r turning spiritual. The so-called big things in ur life become petty when spirituality arises. Here, it is only awareness which can induce such maturity.
When u have the awareness to see through various activities of life, the various compulsions of life, the various longings of life, when u see them as simply an endless rigmarole which does not lead u to anything in particular, the spirituality arise.
Soul
On Z, I love him but somehow I don't crave for him. I will contact him when I want to but I am not as attached to his response. To me when I care, I show.
With no response from him on my calls and messages and mails, previously I would have climbed the wall, would have mentally scolded him, would have judged myself for being stupid, would have feel unlovable, would have suffered and would have contacted him to scold him....all the above didn't happen. Instead I just continue to love him. This is a NEW ME. I have done all that I can and all I can do now is wait. Just love him and wait.
Sadhguru's msg is similar to this week msg on Aloneness and Turning in.
Issue
Turning in.
When going stops, journeying disappears; when desiring is no more clouding ur mind, u r in.
External influence
When there is no "significant other" in our lives, we can either be lonely or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings.
Be a light unto urself. Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions or guide.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Awareness.
Once u start dropping tots, the dust that u have collected in the past, the flame arises - clean, clear, alive, young.
Ur whole life becomes a flame, and a flame without any smoke. That is what awareness is.
Let urself settle and remember that deep inside, u r just a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged.
5. Resolution
Patience
In silence and waiting, something inside u goes on growing - ur authentic being. And one day it jumps and becomes a flame and ur whole personality is shattered, u r a new woman. And this woman knows what ceremony is, this new woman knows life's eternal juices.
Now is a time when all that is required is to be simply alert, patient, waiting.
Sadhguru
Either u go through life and realise it on deathbed or u realise it as u begin ur life or as u r in the middle of ur life and still have time on ur hands.
If we rise a little above and look at them, suddenly all become such petty things, and we wonder "Why the hell are we in this?"
Father, suria was ok. Shakti and Shambavi is fine. I come to realise that the mind likes to create drama. I had earlier accepted the big shelf in bathroom. And now that the contractor has agreed to reduce it further, I should be even feel better and yet it dwells on it. Anyway, I just don't let myself got hooked. Then tots went into Z, but mostly positive.
Father, I know dinner not ok but I am managing. At least I am eating less of my normal intake.
Father, let me be open on FM. Like Datuk said, she is a blessing to me. I know if she wants to, she can do the job. She has Eight of Diamond Destiny card and King of Spades Ruling card.
Dec 21 Eve
Sadhguru
When ur mind is silent, ur intelligence explodes!
Soul
What a powerful statement. This is the key mission to get people to meditate.
Have put it in twitter and my BB profile for Z. I also changed my name to JoyOng, that's me.
Father, these last few months of volunteer meeting has now come to fruits. Alas, we have a Newsletter being released and Facebook launched. The team is also getting closer.
Father, why am I resistant or rather judgemental when people use statement such as, "when u r in this spiritual path, u r at next level, or u should know better".
My judgement is that it is arrogant to use such statement and it put people off. To me, I am not on spiritual path..I am just opening all doors, finding my True Self and be my True Self.
Yea, the one that says not in the path..is actually on the path.
Just saw my bathroom in progress and I like it. I know it is going to look great. Now just hope for the best on the rain shower. Like P said, worst case, just invest in a water pump since I had such joyful experience in using rain shower. Their advice to me is to ENJOY, same advice as Z, PA and others.
Sadhguru
When everything becomes petty in ur life, u r turning spiritual. The so-called big things in ur life become petty when spirituality arises. Here, it is only awareness which can induce such maturity.
When u have the awareness to see through various activities of life, the various compulsions of life, the various longings of life, when u see them as simply an endless rigmarole which does not lead u to anything in particular, the spirituality arise.
Soul
On Z, I love him but somehow I don't crave for him. I will contact him when I want to but I am not as attached to his response. To me when I care, I show.
With no response from him on my calls and messages and mails, previously I would have climbed the wall, would have mentally scolded him, would have judged myself for being stupid, would have feel unlovable, would have suffered and would have contacted him to scold him....all the above didn't happen. Instead I just continue to love him. This is a NEW ME. I have done all that I can and all I can do now is wait. Just love him and wait.
Sadhguru's msg is similar to this week msg on Aloneness and Turning in.
Issue
Turning in.
When going stops, journeying disappears; when desiring is no more clouding ur mind, u r in.
External influence
When there is no "significant other" in our lives, we can either be lonely or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings.
Be a light unto urself. Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions or guide.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Awareness.
Once u start dropping tots, the dust that u have collected in the past, the flame arises - clean, clear, alive, young.
Ur whole life becomes a flame, and a flame without any smoke. That is what awareness is.
Let urself settle and remember that deep inside, u r just a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged.
5. Resolution
Patience
In silence and waiting, something inside u goes on growing - ur authentic being. And one day it jumps and becomes a flame and ur whole personality is shattered, u r a new woman. And this woman knows what ceremony is, this new woman knows life's eternal juices.
Now is a time when all that is required is to be simply alert, patient, waiting.
Sadhguru
Either u go through life and realise it on deathbed or u realise it as u begin ur life or as u r in the middle of ur life and still have time on ur hands.
If we rise a little above and look at them, suddenly all become such petty things, and we wonder "Why the hell are we in this?"
Fear acting up
Dec 20 Aft
Father, not a good session. I don't like FM's behaviour. They way she write off by saying that S have stories. In actual fact, her team did not do their job properly.
Then I got pissed off and tot if I let her be FC, I will still be busy. She takes no interest in anything outside Finance. At first I tot its only issue with S but then I realised she has no HR experience. She has not displayed any interest being a generalist.
Like I told her that day, its either a new person below her or a new person above her.
Anyway, she seems ruffled today and yesterday. But I guess I also haven't been counseling her. I avoided it. I did tell her during appraisal but I don't see an improvement per se.
Success with Soul
Ultimately, each of us needs to understand our own personal creativity-sustainability tension and manage it to achieve creativity while remaining aware of the potential costs.
Success is created through quality relationships with the self, with others and with our environment. These relationships are bound together by our tots and feelings and, underlying these, our values.
Purpose in life, self-respect and quality relationships are most likely to be achieved when these values are clear.
When a belief becomes a guiding principle, it is called a value. The term "value" is appropriate for these guiding principles because, when we value something, we hold it in high esteem. We consider it of value.
Our values pertain to ways of behaving or desirable goals, they also guide selection and evaluation of people and events.
The image we have of ourselves is, to a major extent, based on our values.
Father, not a good session. I don't like FM's behaviour. They way she write off by saying that S have stories. In actual fact, her team did not do their job properly.
Then I got pissed off and tot if I let her be FC, I will still be busy. She takes no interest in anything outside Finance. At first I tot its only issue with S but then I realised she has no HR experience. She has not displayed any interest being a generalist.
Like I told her that day, its either a new person below her or a new person above her.
Anyway, she seems ruffled today and yesterday. But I guess I also haven't been counseling her. I avoided it. I did tell her during appraisal but I don't see an improvement per se.
Success with Soul
Ultimately, each of us needs to understand our own personal creativity-sustainability tension and manage it to achieve creativity while remaining aware of the potential costs.
Success is created through quality relationships with the self, with others and with our environment. These relationships are bound together by our tots and feelings and, underlying these, our values.
Purpose in life, self-respect and quality relationships are most likely to be achieved when these values are clear.
When a belief becomes a guiding principle, it is called a value. The term "value" is appropriate for these guiding principles because, when we value something, we hold it in high esteem. We consider it of value.
Our values pertain to ways of behaving or desirable goals, they also guide selection and evaluation of people and events.
The image we have of ourselves is, to a major extent, based on our values.
Nine of Diamond - I am releasing money from my criteria
Dec 20
Father, some tots of Z, but I didn't follow much. Today practice took longer as I did longer breathing meditation. Overall was good. After shambavi, my body is so flexible.
Father, I want Z and I remember he is a diamond. He truly is. All the money in the world can't replace him. Let me be patient, he is undergoing a 52 days of Nine of Spade in Uranus.
Mmm, he didn't reply the msg but he changed his pix profile, showing me a very happy face.
Success with Soul - Doris Pozzi and Stephen Williams
The eco-system among individual, social and environment is not in "balance" or equilibrium, and does not survive by seeking stability. It is a dynamic system at all levels. Change, renewal and transformation are its characteristic element. Diversity and complexity are vital for its existence.
Processes which maintain and develop individual elements and strengthen their connections ensure that the whole system grows. Processes which reduce complexity and diversity cause the system to wither.
We observe this phenomenon in the natural environment and it is also true of our social interactions. Where the desire, belief and commitment are present, our interpersonal relationships tend to grow, become richer and more complex. Conversely, without the essential ingredients, our relationships with others tend to wither, becoming stale in repetitive one-dimensional patterns. Significant partnerships like marriages often display this tendency, either strengthening or spiraling downward into decay
Soul
True. Me and Z, we r growing.
Success with Soul
When u operate out of the rship model of success, u will live a responsible and meaningful life. U will also find that as u change urself, the world around u will change.
When u r clear about who u r and where u r going, u display personal leadership.
U measure ur success by ur own criteria. Success can look like many different things. Even more importantly, perhaps, success is more than just what we see.
Soul
Yes. Suddenly tot of no comparison.
Nine of Diamonds
It is often associated with financial losses of one kind or another but its true meaning is that of a completion in regards to some values that we have been holding.
Soul
Not sure but for the first time I am waiving of money from my criteria of partner.
Father, some tots of Z, but I didn't follow much. Today practice took longer as I did longer breathing meditation. Overall was good. After shambavi, my body is so flexible.
Father, I want Z and I remember he is a diamond. He truly is. All the money in the world can't replace him. Let me be patient, he is undergoing a 52 days of Nine of Spade in Uranus.
Mmm, he didn't reply the msg but he changed his pix profile, showing me a very happy face.
Success with Soul - Doris Pozzi and Stephen Williams
The eco-system among individual, social and environment is not in "balance" or equilibrium, and does not survive by seeking stability. It is a dynamic system at all levels. Change, renewal and transformation are its characteristic element. Diversity and complexity are vital for its existence.
Processes which maintain and develop individual elements and strengthen their connections ensure that the whole system grows. Processes which reduce complexity and diversity cause the system to wither.
We observe this phenomenon in the natural environment and it is also true of our social interactions. Where the desire, belief and commitment are present, our interpersonal relationships tend to grow, become richer and more complex. Conversely, without the essential ingredients, our relationships with others tend to wither, becoming stale in repetitive one-dimensional patterns. Significant partnerships like marriages often display this tendency, either strengthening or spiraling downward into decay
Soul
True. Me and Z, we r growing.
Success with Soul
When u operate out of the rship model of success, u will live a responsible and meaningful life. U will also find that as u change urself, the world around u will change.
When u r clear about who u r and where u r going, u display personal leadership.
U measure ur success by ur own criteria. Success can look like many different things. Even more importantly, perhaps, success is more than just what we see.
Soul
Yes. Suddenly tot of no comparison.
Nine of Diamonds
It is often associated with financial losses of one kind or another but its true meaning is that of a completion in regards to some values that we have been holding.
Soul
Not sure but for the first time I am waiving of money from my criteria of partner.
Contentment - on my own
Dec 19 Eve
Great discussion with regional boss. I be getting the best of both world. Earlier I did have bit of worry on the risk of front end job but I waived it. Now I am in charge of both current and new company. In current company, they will hire a FC instead. I be CFO for both. (Jan 17...now is FD and not CFO..probably SS's suggestion as he don't want a salary hike)
Great outcome and looks like Five of Diamonds in Jupiter Ruling and Three of Spades in Jupiter Destiny is true.
It is only with current regional boss blessing that I can have both. Amen.
Today card Ace of Clubs, means a new beginning, a new way of thinking and communicating with others. Great I don't have to leave current company and my staff has room for expansion.
It is night time and still no call from him. Looks like that doesn't work. Mmm, I guess he has so many such requests that he wants only to return business calls.
Tot of my Osho card's Internal influence:
Aloneness is the presence of oneself. It is very positive. It is a presence, an overflowing presence and there is no need for anybody.
When there is no "significant other" in our lives, we can either be lonely or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings.
Be a light unto urself. Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions or guide.
Soul
Yea, I remember. This moment is inevitable. He is not calling. So, this moment I accept we won't be talking to each other.
Sadhguru
Desire is a natural longing. Love is an emotional expression of that desire.
Love is a longing in u to become one with something or somebody. Emotionally, u r trying to make what is two into one. Ur longing to become one with something is always happening at all levels.
If it finds expression in a very basic physical way, we call this either food or sex. Food and sex are just this - u want to make something a part of u.
If it finds a mental expression, it is generally labeled as 'greed' or 'conquest' in society. By acquiring knowledge, or power or property or any other thing.
If it finds an emotional expression, u call it love or devotion, because what is the object of devotee? He wants to become one with his object of devotion. What is the object of love? It is to become one with the person whom u think u love.
So, the same thing is happening on all levels, u r longing to be a little more that what u r, that is all. All these things can be inspiring factors to growth, but none of these things are an end by themselves.
They cannot take u to the goal because love is an endless longing; u never achieve the oneness. At many moments u think u r one, but the next moment it is not so. Do u not have enough experience with life? Do u still believe it is going to happen!
So, these different expressions are fine; they are beautiful, but they will not find fulfillment. They are very sweet, but they will not find fulfillment and can turn very bitter.
So, because we see that expression through the physical body, through the mind or through the emotion does not find fulfillment, we are working on ur energies.
With energies, u can very easily find fulfillment, because here u do not need anybody else's cooperation. If u want to physically fulfill this, or mentally fulfill this or emotionally fulfill this, u need the cooperation of the whole world in some way. But energy-wise, if u want to fulfill it, u do not need anybody's cooperation; it is just u.
U r the only reliable person. U r the only person whom u never have doubts because u know u can rely upon ur well-being. So, if u go the energy way, fulfillment will come much more easily because u do not need anyone's cooperation.
Great discussion with regional boss. I be getting the best of both world. Earlier I did have bit of worry on the risk of front end job but I waived it. Now I am in charge of both current and new company. In current company, they will hire a FC instead. I be CFO for both. (Jan 17...now is FD and not CFO..probably SS's suggestion as he don't want a salary hike)
Great outcome and looks like Five of Diamonds in Jupiter Ruling and Three of Spades in Jupiter Destiny is true.
It is only with current regional boss blessing that I can have both. Amen.
Today card Ace of Clubs, means a new beginning, a new way of thinking and communicating with others. Great I don't have to leave current company and my staff has room for expansion.
It is night time and still no call from him. Looks like that doesn't work. Mmm, I guess he has so many such requests that he wants only to return business calls.
Tot of my Osho card's Internal influence:
Aloneness is the presence of oneself. It is very positive. It is a presence, an overflowing presence and there is no need for anybody.
When there is no "significant other" in our lives, we can either be lonely or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings.
Be a light unto urself. Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions or guide.
Soul
Yea, I remember. This moment is inevitable. He is not calling. So, this moment I accept we won't be talking to each other.
Sadhguru
Desire is a natural longing. Love is an emotional expression of that desire.
Love is a longing in u to become one with something or somebody. Emotionally, u r trying to make what is two into one. Ur longing to become one with something is always happening at all levels.
If it finds expression in a very basic physical way, we call this either food or sex. Food and sex are just this - u want to make something a part of u.
If it finds a mental expression, it is generally labeled as 'greed' or 'conquest' in society. By acquiring knowledge, or power or property or any other thing.
If it finds an emotional expression, u call it love or devotion, because what is the object of devotee? He wants to become one with his object of devotion. What is the object of love? It is to become one with the person whom u think u love.
So, the same thing is happening on all levels, u r longing to be a little more that what u r, that is all. All these things can be inspiring factors to growth, but none of these things are an end by themselves.
They cannot take u to the goal because love is an endless longing; u never achieve the oneness. At many moments u think u r one, but the next moment it is not so. Do u not have enough experience with life? Do u still believe it is going to happen!
So, these different expressions are fine; they are beautiful, but they will not find fulfillment. They are very sweet, but they will not find fulfillment and can turn very bitter.
So, because we see that expression through the physical body, through the mind or through the emotion does not find fulfillment, we are working on ur energies.
With energies, u can very easily find fulfillment, because here u do not need anybody else's cooperation. If u want to physically fulfill this, or mentally fulfill this or emotionally fulfill this, u need the cooperation of the whole world in some way. But energy-wise, if u want to fulfill it, u do not need anybody's cooperation; it is just u.
U r the only reliable person. U r the only person whom u never have doubts because u know u can rely upon ur well-being. So, if u go the energy way, fulfillment will come much more easily because u do not need anyone's cooperation.
Settling down my mind...settling down Z
Dec 19 Aft
Father, this morning I didn't follow the tots. I saw them but I didn't follow.
Even now tots still come in negatively on Z and me. But I have come to the realisation that if I don't follow, I don't think, then I don't feel. There has been uncountable scenarios that I felt sad about Z and it never materialise. So, I decided to let it slide.
When teacher said I cannot clap during sathsang. For the first time, I was fine. I just replied that it is time for a new silent guide.
Father, I now see what Z has contributed to our rship. It was him that keep it alive, it wasn't me. Infact, I am the one who wants to end it every time.
Ace of Clubs
The birth of a new idea, plan or way of communicating with the world around u. This could also mean a desire to pursue new plans u make.
This is a new beginning of some sort. This could be a new job idea or just embarking on a new way of thinking.
Good time to plan to start something new.
Yea, I am seeing things differently now. Z didn't reply to my messages and didn't return call and yet I am fine. Not sure about tonight but for now I am fine. Since I didn't contribute in energising us, at least I don't create negativity into it.
1. The Issue
Turning in.
When going stops, journeying disappears; when desiring is no more clouding ur mind, u r in.
To develop the knack of taking a distance from the mind is one of the greatest blessing. It is what meditation is all about. U r ready to take this distance now, and to watch the show without getting caught up in the drama. Indulge urself in the simple freedom of Turning In whenever u can, and the knack of meditation will grow and deepen in u.
Soul
I am neither going to him nor going off, just staying put.
Yea, I am learning to do that. Both S, E and Z has not spoken to me and yet I am fine. Things will unfold.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Aloneness
Aloneness is the presence of oneself. It is very positive. It is a presence, an overflowing presence and there is no need for anybody.
When there is no "significant other" in our lives, we can either be lonely or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings.
Be a light unto urself. Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions or guide.
Soul
I knew and that's why I got my bedroom and bathroom ready. I need not wait for anybody to give me the luxury that I want.
3. External influence of which u r aware
The Miser
The moment u become miserly, u r closed to the basic phenomenon of life: expansion, sharing. The moment u start clinging to things, u have missed the target - ur innermost being is the target, not other things; a rich u, an open being available to million of things is the target.
Loosen ur grip and feel the freedom and expansiveness sharing can bring.
Soul
Yea, I won't hold on to the 4 days week. I can still take off on Friday or whenever I meet Z, no issues.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Awareness.
Once u start dropping tots, the dust that u have collected in the past, the flame arises - clean, clear, alive, young.
Ur whole life becomes a flame, and a flame without any smoke. That is what awareness is.
Let urself settle and remember that deep inside, u r just a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged.
Soul
I have been getting this card for the third time consecutively. It started with "results" and now is under "what is needed for resolution".
I am dropping my past tots on money, on Z, on having children, on retirement.
5. Resolution
Patience
In silence and waiting, something inside u goes on growing - ur authentic being. And one day it jumps and becomes a flame and ur whole personality is shattered, u r a new woman. And this woman knows what ceremony is, this new woman knows life's eternal juices.
Now is a time when all that is required is to be simply alert, patient, waiting.
Father, this morning I didn't follow the tots. I saw them but I didn't follow.
Even now tots still come in negatively on Z and me. But I have come to the realisation that if I don't follow, I don't think, then I don't feel. There has been uncountable scenarios that I felt sad about Z and it never materialise. So, I decided to let it slide.
When teacher said I cannot clap during sathsang. For the first time, I was fine. I just replied that it is time for a new silent guide.
Father, I now see what Z has contributed to our rship. It was him that keep it alive, it wasn't me. Infact, I am the one who wants to end it every time.
Ace of Clubs
The birth of a new idea, plan or way of communicating with the world around u. This could also mean a desire to pursue new plans u make.
This is a new beginning of some sort. This could be a new job idea or just embarking on a new way of thinking.
Good time to plan to start something new.
Yea, I am seeing things differently now. Z didn't reply to my messages and didn't return call and yet I am fine. Not sure about tonight but for now I am fine. Since I didn't contribute in energising us, at least I don't create negativity into it.
1. The Issue
Turning in.
When going stops, journeying disappears; when desiring is no more clouding ur mind, u r in.
To develop the knack of taking a distance from the mind is one of the greatest blessing. It is what meditation is all about. U r ready to take this distance now, and to watch the show without getting caught up in the drama. Indulge urself in the simple freedom of Turning In whenever u can, and the knack of meditation will grow and deepen in u.
Soul
I am neither going to him nor going off, just staying put.
Yea, I am learning to do that. Both S, E and Z has not spoken to me and yet I am fine. Things will unfold.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Aloneness
Aloneness is the presence of oneself. It is very positive. It is a presence, an overflowing presence and there is no need for anybody.
When there is no "significant other" in our lives, we can either be lonely or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings.
Be a light unto urself. Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions or guide.
Soul
I knew and that's why I got my bedroom and bathroom ready. I need not wait for anybody to give me the luxury that I want.
3. External influence of which u r aware
The Miser
The moment u become miserly, u r closed to the basic phenomenon of life: expansion, sharing. The moment u start clinging to things, u have missed the target - ur innermost being is the target, not other things; a rich u, an open being available to million of things is the target.
Loosen ur grip and feel the freedom and expansiveness sharing can bring.
Soul
Yea, I won't hold on to the 4 days week. I can still take off on Friday or whenever I meet Z, no issues.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Awareness.
Once u start dropping tots, the dust that u have collected in the past, the flame arises - clean, clear, alive, young.
Ur whole life becomes a flame, and a flame without any smoke. That is what awareness is.
Let urself settle and remember that deep inside, u r just a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged.
Soul
I have been getting this card for the third time consecutively. It started with "results" and now is under "what is needed for resolution".
I am dropping my past tots on money, on Z, on having children, on retirement.
5. Resolution
Patience
In silence and waiting, something inside u goes on growing - ur authentic being. And one day it jumps and becomes a flame and ur whole personality is shattered, u r a new woman. And this woman knows what ceremony is, this new woman knows life's eternal juices.
Now is a time when all that is required is to be simply alert, patient, waiting.
Settling down with Z (32) and Change is good for me
Dec 19
Father, the practice was fine. I admit I was not looking forward to Suria but I was laughing towards the last few cycles. Shakti and Shambavi was fine. Now that I don't doze off, I finished about 6.46 am, eventhough I start at 4 am.
Of course this morning tot that front end job is not so secure but I shrug it off as I am not keen on back end. Its true front end not is more risky but the returns are there too. Back end is secure but less returns. But the main thing is I am not keen on back end.
Today my jeans is not as tight as before. I lost some weight but I want to go back to 2.5 years ago when I bought that jeans. Another 2 kilo I be fine. I just need to cut down dinner.
SN in Leo (Z)
Acknowledging others
SN Leo people sometimes forgot to acknowledge the specialness of the people who trigger their energy, and think they can create successful bonds with anyone who fits their basic guidelines. They are learning to recognise this inner affinity of a "special" rather than universal nature. Acknowledging these special bonds also helps them to appreciate their own specialness.
Their tendency to undervalue those with whom they feel a special connection often leads these folks to be careless with their romantic partners. They may think that "all of them are the same" (opposite sex) and that it doesn't matter who they are with.
Then, rather than make the effort of working it out with someone who generates the feeling of "aliveness" within them, they may choose someone who is geographically more available, has a more compatible background and so on.
Soul
No wonder he can be detached and he thinks that I can easily replace him, the same as he can easily replace me.
He even dismiss my love for him as sexual love that can be cultivated with anyone.
Father, he doesn't think he is special and hence think I am not special too. The only thing is that because of meditation, he knows I am not common and that elevates me a bit in his perception.
SN in Leo
On the other hand, when SN in Leo summon their energy and commit 100% to making a relationship work, they give so much that the other person may be overwhelmed. The other person may "fall in love" with them but may also seem to take them for granted, not understanding the energy these people put into making the relationship work. SN in Leo need to receive the energy of appreciation to validate their efforts and inspire them to keep their creative juice flowing.
Soul
Yea, I have dismissed his energy in pleasuring me everytime. He always take care of my needs and he took the initiative, whereas I tend to let go and didn't make any effort.
Mmm, such irony. I keep on thinking that I am the holder, I gave so much...but it is all in my mind. Whereas, he didn't put me on his mind but he showed up whenever he is with me. He is a diamond and he is special.
I message him;
Thank U for always making sure that I enjoyed myself with u, for always putting my needs first. That's why u r a diamond :)
SN in Leo
Later in life these folks are generally more open to a relationship based on the happiness they feel on a consistent basis with the other person. When they find such a relationship, the other person may be very different from what they tot they wanted; yet that is the person who makes their heart sing with joy. They need to let their body instead of mind decide the attraction.
On a deep level, they know what is making them happy and what is not, but they have to be willing to let go of their image of what will make them happy and become more open to what they are actually experiencing. When they take risk and pursue what genuinely makes them happy, they may feel a bit insecure at first if people seem to resist. But others will eventually see the wisdom and come into alignment with their choices.
Soul
Amen.
SN in Leo
Sometimes the greatest challenge for Leo involves taking actions that make them happy.
They are so accustomed to doing things for everyone else that they tend to put the joyous child within themselves on the back burner. In this life they are learning to do what they need to do for themselves.
The inner child is the sense of having fun, the sense of play, of taking a risk and doing something that makes them happy.
Healing for SN in Leo
They need to be in touch with their own inner child, from whom they can gain the self-confidence and stimulation they need to create their own destiny.
Healing for SN in Scorpio
They need to recognise the energy available to them through accepting change and successfully combining with others to create mutual empowerment and reciprocity. Through welcoming the new opportunities life brings, the tendency to "get stuck" can be effortlessly bypassed.
Soul
Suddenly a new tot occurred. I used to lament why I was given so much challenges, why I always need to change and grow. I normally had to change when the company I worked in becomes not suitable. I now know why it is suffering because I didn't welcome the change but my emotion was so coddled that I didn't realise.
So, actually the Universe is helping me to change.
Father, the practice was fine. I admit I was not looking forward to Suria but I was laughing towards the last few cycles. Shakti and Shambavi was fine. Now that I don't doze off, I finished about 6.46 am, eventhough I start at 4 am.
Of course this morning tot that front end job is not so secure but I shrug it off as I am not keen on back end. Its true front end not is more risky but the returns are there too. Back end is secure but less returns. But the main thing is I am not keen on back end.
Today my jeans is not as tight as before. I lost some weight but I want to go back to 2.5 years ago when I bought that jeans. Another 2 kilo I be fine. I just need to cut down dinner.
SN in Leo (Z)
Acknowledging others
SN Leo people sometimes forgot to acknowledge the specialness of the people who trigger their energy, and think they can create successful bonds with anyone who fits their basic guidelines. They are learning to recognise this inner affinity of a "special" rather than universal nature. Acknowledging these special bonds also helps them to appreciate their own specialness.
Their tendency to undervalue those with whom they feel a special connection often leads these folks to be careless with their romantic partners. They may think that "all of them are the same" (opposite sex) and that it doesn't matter who they are with.
Then, rather than make the effort of working it out with someone who generates the feeling of "aliveness" within them, they may choose someone who is geographically more available, has a more compatible background and so on.
Soul
No wonder he can be detached and he thinks that I can easily replace him, the same as he can easily replace me.
He even dismiss my love for him as sexual love that can be cultivated with anyone.
Father, he doesn't think he is special and hence think I am not special too. The only thing is that because of meditation, he knows I am not common and that elevates me a bit in his perception.
SN in Leo
On the other hand, when SN in Leo summon their energy and commit 100% to making a relationship work, they give so much that the other person may be overwhelmed. The other person may "fall in love" with them but may also seem to take them for granted, not understanding the energy these people put into making the relationship work. SN in Leo need to receive the energy of appreciation to validate their efforts and inspire them to keep their creative juice flowing.
Soul
Yea, I have dismissed his energy in pleasuring me everytime. He always take care of my needs and he took the initiative, whereas I tend to let go and didn't make any effort.
Mmm, such irony. I keep on thinking that I am the holder, I gave so much...but it is all in my mind. Whereas, he didn't put me on his mind but he showed up whenever he is with me. He is a diamond and he is special.
I message him;
Thank U for always making sure that I enjoyed myself with u, for always putting my needs first. That's why u r a diamond :)
SN in Leo
Later in life these folks are generally more open to a relationship based on the happiness they feel on a consistent basis with the other person. When they find such a relationship, the other person may be very different from what they tot they wanted; yet that is the person who makes their heart sing with joy. They need to let their body instead of mind decide the attraction.
On a deep level, they know what is making them happy and what is not, but they have to be willing to let go of their image of what will make them happy and become more open to what they are actually experiencing. When they take risk and pursue what genuinely makes them happy, they may feel a bit insecure at first if people seem to resist. But others will eventually see the wisdom and come into alignment with their choices.
Soul
Amen.
SN in Leo
Sometimes the greatest challenge for Leo involves taking actions that make them happy.
They are so accustomed to doing things for everyone else that they tend to put the joyous child within themselves on the back burner. In this life they are learning to do what they need to do for themselves.
The inner child is the sense of having fun, the sense of play, of taking a risk and doing something that makes them happy.
Healing for SN in Leo
They need to be in touch with their own inner child, from whom they can gain the self-confidence and stimulation they need to create their own destiny.
Healing for SN in Scorpio
They need to recognise the energy available to them through accepting change and successfully combining with others to create mutual empowerment and reciprocity. Through welcoming the new opportunities life brings, the tendency to "get stuck" can be effortlessly bypassed.
Soul
Suddenly a new tot occurred. I used to lament why I was given so much challenges, why I always need to change and grow. I normally had to change when the company I worked in becomes not suitable. I now know why it is suffering because I didn't welcome the change but my emotion was so coddled that I didn't realise.
So, actually the Universe is helping me to change.
Settling down with Z (31)
Dec 18 Eve
Father, he didn't call back. I am surprised but I am not feeling the usual sad feeling. No dilemma. If he doesn't want to return call, that's him. He is afraid to go deeper with me. He realised he cannot afford me. He cannot keep up with us. That's why our meet up has reduced from fortnight to three weeks to once a month. Again, it is nothing to do with me.
Sadhguru
The mind is incapable of being aware. It is only because of the mind that u have become unaware. It is only the activity of the mind which has brought unawareness into u.
The moment ur experience of life is beyond the limitations of the mind is when u r really aware.
If u keep the mind aside, awareness will blossom in a huge way. It has already blossomed; the whole existence is just that, but now it will come into ur experience.
Soul
My insight; when the mind is quiet, suddenly I become aware of the aliveness of nature, of the joy in me.
If I really want to know Z, then I must detached from my mind for me to be aware of him.
Sadhguru
The most dominant emotion in most people is fear. Because of this, almost everything that they do in their lives is in search of security. Fear is always in the background; it is all the time there. It is sometimes above the surface, sometimes below the surface.
Because the mind is so unestablished, with a little bit of manipulation u can easily get them churning in whichever direction u want.
Father, he didn't call back. I am surprised but I am not feeling the usual sad feeling. No dilemma. If he doesn't want to return call, that's him. He is afraid to go deeper with me. He realised he cannot afford me. He cannot keep up with us. That's why our meet up has reduced from fortnight to three weeks to once a month. Again, it is nothing to do with me.
Sadhguru
The mind is incapable of being aware. It is only because of the mind that u have become unaware. It is only the activity of the mind which has brought unawareness into u.
The moment ur experience of life is beyond the limitations of the mind is when u r really aware.
If u keep the mind aside, awareness will blossom in a huge way. It has already blossomed; the whole existence is just that, but now it will come into ur experience.
Soul
My insight; when the mind is quiet, suddenly I become aware of the aliveness of nature, of the joy in me.
If I really want to know Z, then I must detached from my mind for me to be aware of him.
Sadhguru
The most dominant emotion in most people is fear. Because of this, almost everything that they do in their lives is in search of security. Fear is always in the background; it is all the time there. It is sometimes above the surface, sometimes below the surface.
Because the mind is so unestablished, with a little bit of manipulation u can easily get them churning in whichever direction u want.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Awareness means being alive, in the moment...not lost in mind
Dec 18
I got this insight yesterday evening
Mind vs awareness
Awareness is when I am in the moment and I can sense the aliveness of nature.
Somehow when I got it I was bit scared cos its like I finally found the door but I am worried what price I need to pay to go in. So, I went downstairs and watch tv to ignore my findings.
This morning I woke up and the tot is still with me. I also dreamed of working with E. We were discussing on the bonus arrangement.
Father, apart from the loss of comfort 4 days, I also wonder if this would disrupt my plan of settling down with Z. But then again, his financial are tight and we can only meet once a month. And next year, his financial will be fine but he will be busy travelling. No worries I will make time for him cos he is in my Top 5. I won't be going back to the past.
Like V said the new job is giving me the opportunity to work on my strengths. By not taking the offer, I am actually selfishly keeping my strength to myself.
If I looked back, there has always been a naggling fear that my success will keep my partner away and hence I tried not climb corporate ladder.
Issue
Comparison
The way to find out who u r is not by comparing urself with others, but by looking whether u r fulfilling ur own potential in the best way u know how.
External influence
The Dream
Real love comes not from trying to solve ur neediness by depending on a nother, but by developing our own inner richness and maturity. Then we have so much love to give that we naturally draw lovers towards us.
12 Dec 2011 to 28 Jan 2012
52 days Jupiter in Destiny cards
Three of Spades.
It is so creative that if not channelled properly, it can represent indecision, fear and physical stress
This can means we are literally splitting ourselves in two so that we are working two jobs at the same time or somehow pursuing two lifestyles at the same time.
Soul
So true and here E asked me to start on new job asap and straddle in current job. I think that if he wants me to do both, he should be paying me new job salary then.
Jupiter (Age 39 to 51)
Birth - Nine of Hearts in Jupiter
Nine of Hearts in Jupiter is called the "Wish Card". You may get one or more of ur important wishes fulfilled this period
There could also be endings to rships with others with whom u have had business or professional ties. If so, let them go, as this is a good influence for completing things or rships from the past
If u r involved in spiritual work or helping or teaching others in some way, this card is an indicator of great success and could bring huge financial rewards as well.
Soul
Very true
I had one ending at 41 and now age 44, another one. Looks like it is meant to be. My 7 years card, Nine of Hearts in Jupiter said it is a good time for ending of rships in business.
I already mailed regional boss urgently that I am leaving the company and joining sister company.
A tot occurred to me that if E nego on pay then I want my services in current company to be recognised.
I also know what my hesitancy is about. Instead of focusing on the excitement of a new job, a portfolio that I have always wanted, I focused on loss of 4 day work week. I know I will stabilise by 6 months and then can work when I want to and better still, without any salary deduction.
Sadhguru
If u move into a higher intensity of awareness, destroying ur limitation comes naturally to u. If u becomes really aware, then everything that is not true will fall off. Only that which is true will be. Then we do not have to make u jump and do this and that.
Soul
Thank U. This was the final affirmation I needed. I was bit worried whether this is a subsconscious need for external security. I knew I didn't ask for it and infact I had refused numerous time but still not sure. And last week, everything seems to fall through and I just go with the flow and end my job.
This is exactly same msg as Osho
What to do - Awareness
Result - Conscious Breakthrough.
Osho
When u discover ur heart, u find a doorway to the present moment. The senses become crisp and clear, a loving awareness, an acceptance, a Yes to life.
Soul
This is the Inner influence - Inner Voice
If u found ur truth within urself, there is nothing more in this whole existence to find. Truth if functioning through u. Then u live as truth - alive, radiant, contented, blissful, a song unto urself.
(Jan 4 - That is exactly what I am feeling, such sweetness and contentment despite the outside turmoil and even the fear in my mind. Now I know my mind is not me.)
I got this insight yesterday evening
Mind vs awareness
Awareness is when I am in the moment and I can sense the aliveness of nature.
Somehow when I got it I was bit scared cos its like I finally found the door but I am worried what price I need to pay to go in. So, I went downstairs and watch tv to ignore my findings.
This morning I woke up and the tot is still with me. I also dreamed of working with E. We were discussing on the bonus arrangement.
Father, apart from the loss of comfort 4 days, I also wonder if this would disrupt my plan of settling down with Z. But then again, his financial are tight and we can only meet once a month. And next year, his financial will be fine but he will be busy travelling. No worries I will make time for him cos he is in my Top 5. I won't be going back to the past.
Like V said the new job is giving me the opportunity to work on my strengths. By not taking the offer, I am actually selfishly keeping my strength to myself.
If I looked back, there has always been a naggling fear that my success will keep my partner away and hence I tried not climb corporate ladder.
Issue
Comparison
The way to find out who u r is not by comparing urself with others, but by looking whether u r fulfilling ur own potential in the best way u know how.
External influence
The Dream
Real love comes not from trying to solve ur neediness by depending on a nother, but by developing our own inner richness and maturity. Then we have so much love to give that we naturally draw lovers towards us.
12 Dec 2011 to 28 Jan 2012
52 days Jupiter in Destiny cards
Three of Spades.
It is so creative that if not channelled properly, it can represent indecision, fear and physical stress
This can means we are literally splitting ourselves in two so that we are working two jobs at the same time or somehow pursuing two lifestyles at the same time.
Soul
So true and here E asked me to start on new job asap and straddle in current job. I think that if he wants me to do both, he should be paying me new job salary then.
Jupiter (Age 39 to 51)
Birth - Nine of Hearts in Jupiter
Nine of Hearts in Jupiter is called the "Wish Card". You may get one or more of ur important wishes fulfilled this period
There could also be endings to rships with others with whom u have had business or professional ties. If so, let them go, as this is a good influence for completing things or rships from the past
If u r involved in spiritual work or helping or teaching others in some way, this card is an indicator of great success and could bring huge financial rewards as well.
Soul
Very true
I had one ending at 41 and now age 44, another one. Looks like it is meant to be. My 7 years card, Nine of Hearts in Jupiter said it is a good time for ending of rships in business.
I already mailed regional boss urgently that I am leaving the company and joining sister company.
A tot occurred to me that if E nego on pay then I want my services in current company to be recognised.
I also know what my hesitancy is about. Instead of focusing on the excitement of a new job, a portfolio that I have always wanted, I focused on loss of 4 day work week. I know I will stabilise by 6 months and then can work when I want to and better still, without any salary deduction.
Sadhguru
If u move into a higher intensity of awareness, destroying ur limitation comes naturally to u. If u becomes really aware, then everything that is not true will fall off. Only that which is true will be. Then we do not have to make u jump and do this and that.
Soul
Thank U. This was the final affirmation I needed. I was bit worried whether this is a subsconscious need for external security. I knew I didn't ask for it and infact I had refused numerous time but still not sure. And last week, everything seems to fall through and I just go with the flow and end my job.
This is exactly same msg as Osho
What to do - Awareness
Result - Conscious Breakthrough.
Osho
When u discover ur heart, u find a doorway to the present moment. The senses become crisp and clear, a loving awareness, an acceptance, a Yes to life.
Soul
This is the Inner influence - Inner Voice
If u found ur truth within urself, there is nothing more in this whole existence to find. Truth if functioning through u. Then u live as truth - alive, radiant, contented, blissful, a song unto urself.
(Jan 4 - That is exactly what I am feeling, such sweetness and contentment despite the outside turmoil and even the fear in my mind. Now I know my mind is not me.)
Settling down with Z (30)
Dec 17
Father, today I saw Sl and it is true that she has finally let go of her boss. She said if she had known that she be so happy, she would have let go long time ago. I said perhaps it wasn't time then. I said her yoga helps her but she replied my advice also played a key role.
I shared with her about renovating my place. She said I must be feeling more secure now. She was the first person who saw my insecurity with money. Yea, I am definitely more secure now.
Now updating my blog and read on Nov 3, I was opening up to change.
Internal influence - Understanding
Just drop clinging to this cage, move out of the cage and the whole sky is yours. Open ur wings and fly across the sun like an eagle.
In the inner sky, in the inner world, freedom is the highest value - everything else is secondary, even blissfulness, ecstasy. There are thousands of flowers, uncountable, but they all become possible in the climate of freedom.
It can makes us feel a little shaky at first. It's fine and natural to be shaky, but don't let it overshadow the opportunity to experience the lightheartedness and adventure on offer, right there alongside the shakiness.
Move with the sweetness and gentleness of this time. Feel the fluttering within. Spread ur wings and be free.
Soul
Guess I am just feeling the shakiness of new change.
On Z, this morning when I meditate, a tot came in on why Z never consider me as a candidate for his wife. Then I realised that he did consider me since the first date and subsequently but I brushed it off every time that I don't want children. So, it was me. Actually when I found out he has good children karma I wanted him to have a child and always a daughter came to mind. I also need not worry about responsibility as Z would take care of her.
Father, I accused Z of wanting our rship to maintain superficial, I too did the same whenever he tries to probe. I just crawl in my shell and pretend I didn't want us to go deeper but infact I do. Me thinking of having a daughter with him need to be communicated. Just like E asked me many times on the job offer, Z has asked me many times of being his candidates.
I will share that I am open to one child.
7thunder cards
Ruling Card Pluto is Nine of Diamond and Result Card is Ten of Diamond.
When I spend huge money on renovation, somehow I dissolve my karma on money and it immediately open to new incoming channel of money.
Such irony, I changed my BB messenger " When I choose energising change, I win". And I am executing it now.
Z wants to be loved and in order to reach that goal, he must learn to go with the flow, learn to receive love naturally.
For me, I wanted a committed partner and to merge our energy and in order to reach that goal, I must learn to see what I truly value and what I am as an individual and then I will attracts the right guy. I used to think the basic thing is financial. But now with Z, I found that it is more important for me that he is a good man.
(Jan 4 - I shared with him that I love him for the goodness in him)
Father, today I saw Sl and it is true that she has finally let go of her boss. She said if she had known that she be so happy, she would have let go long time ago. I said perhaps it wasn't time then. I said her yoga helps her but she replied my advice also played a key role.
I shared with her about renovating my place. She said I must be feeling more secure now. She was the first person who saw my insecurity with money. Yea, I am definitely more secure now.
Now updating my blog and read on Nov 3, I was opening up to change.
Internal influence - Understanding
Just drop clinging to this cage, move out of the cage and the whole sky is yours. Open ur wings and fly across the sun like an eagle.
In the inner sky, in the inner world, freedom is the highest value - everything else is secondary, even blissfulness, ecstasy. There are thousands of flowers, uncountable, but they all become possible in the climate of freedom.
It can makes us feel a little shaky at first. It's fine and natural to be shaky, but don't let it overshadow the opportunity to experience the lightheartedness and adventure on offer, right there alongside the shakiness.
Move with the sweetness and gentleness of this time. Feel the fluttering within. Spread ur wings and be free.
Soul
Guess I am just feeling the shakiness of new change.
On Z, this morning when I meditate, a tot came in on why Z never consider me as a candidate for his wife. Then I realised that he did consider me since the first date and subsequently but I brushed it off every time that I don't want children. So, it was me. Actually when I found out he has good children karma I wanted him to have a child and always a daughter came to mind. I also need not worry about responsibility as Z would take care of her.
Father, I accused Z of wanting our rship to maintain superficial, I too did the same whenever he tries to probe. I just crawl in my shell and pretend I didn't want us to go deeper but infact I do. Me thinking of having a daughter with him need to be communicated. Just like E asked me many times on the job offer, Z has asked me many times of being his candidates.
I will share that I am open to one child.
7thunder cards
Ruling Card Pluto is Nine of Diamond and Result Card is Ten of Diamond.
When I spend huge money on renovation, somehow I dissolve my karma on money and it immediately open to new incoming channel of money.
Such irony, I changed my BB messenger " When I choose energising change, I win". And I am executing it now.
Z wants to be loved and in order to reach that goal, he must learn to go with the flow, learn to receive love naturally.
For me, I wanted a committed partner and to merge our energy and in order to reach that goal, I must learn to see what I truly value and what I am as an individual and then I will attracts the right guy. I used to think the basic thing is financial. But now with Z, I found that it is more important for me that he is a good man.
(Jan 4 - I shared with him that I love him for the goodness in him)
Settling down with Z (29)
Dec 16
Father, we have a good time. We went for our meals outside. We have our after meal coffee. He said I enjoy myself daily with coffee, whereas his enjoyment with new car only lasted a month.
Father, he still excite me and I want him but not to the same excitement level. Whereas for him, it still excite him. I think he is trying to make our relationship to just sexual. He said what I had for him is sexual love and it will be gone in one year. Of cos, there are tots of 'leaving" but I waived it off. After one year, I still like him.
(Jan 3 - I now realised that he prefer to stay at 'home' as his job involves too much 'talking, entertaining and travel', he just want to chill out with me.)
Father, we have a good time. We went for our meals outside. We have our after meal coffee. He said I enjoy myself daily with coffee, whereas his enjoyment with new car only lasted a month.
Father, he still excite me and I want him but not to the same excitement level. Whereas for him, it still excite him. I think he is trying to make our relationship to just sexual. He said what I had for him is sexual love and it will be gone in one year. Of cos, there are tots of 'leaving" but I waived it off. After one year, I still like him.
(Jan 3 - I now realised that he prefer to stay at 'home' as his job involves too much 'talking, entertaining and travel', he just want to chill out with me.)
Breakthru - change in job (2) - affirmation by 7thunder cards
Dec 15
Father, practice is fine. I was bit sleepy despite sleeping early at 10 pm. I guess its the food but I didn't eat much.
Father, this morning I woke up, I was sad that the ending is here. I tot of MD and knows she need help but its time for me to move on.
The connection between E and me is Cosmic Cousins. I am his Cosmic Lesson, he is my Cosmic Reward. There are also Mars and Venus in Spiritual spread. It will be energising time for us as we both work together. I recalled I felt some attraction and a sense of comfort when we first me. But now, I am no longer attracted to him.
My Ruling Card's result card is Ten of Diamond after overcoming my Pluto of Nine of Diamond. Ten of Diamond is E's Ruling Card
Below is affirmation for Pluto's Nine of Diamond
I am releasing myself from things, occupation and people that were once good for me but have now outlived their purpose in my life. I set myself free to move on to higher and better things in my life.
Ironically just few days ago, I put this msg in my BB's profile
When I choose energising change, I win; when I choose the status quo, I lose.
Well, MARS energy is definitely energising.
I admit I feel bit apprehensive on the change, but I remind myself Sadhguru said, "Don't avoid life". I know I be fine. I am no longer the old me. And I have meditation to keep me grounded.
Nine of Club
Completion of plan or idea
When this card appears, it will signal a time when some ideas or personal plans of yours are ready to end. If u choose to resist this ending, u will experience great disappointment, stubbornly holding on to things, ideas or plans that are no longer useful to u.
U r ready to be awaken to a new and higher way of thinking that will be better than u have imagined.
Soul
Yea, my early retirement plan has ended. I am now going for energising change.
Father, practice is fine. I was bit sleepy despite sleeping early at 10 pm. I guess its the food but I didn't eat much.
Father, this morning I woke up, I was sad that the ending is here. I tot of MD and knows she need help but its time for me to move on.
The connection between E and me is Cosmic Cousins. I am his Cosmic Lesson, he is my Cosmic Reward. There are also Mars and Venus in Spiritual spread. It will be energising time for us as we both work together. I recalled I felt some attraction and a sense of comfort when we first me. But now, I am no longer attracted to him.
My Ruling Card's result card is Ten of Diamond after overcoming my Pluto of Nine of Diamond. Ten of Diamond is E's Ruling Card
Below is affirmation for Pluto's Nine of Diamond
I am releasing myself from things, occupation and people that were once good for me but have now outlived their purpose in my life. I set myself free to move on to higher and better things in my life.
Ironically just few days ago, I put this msg in my BB's profile
When I choose energising change, I win; when I choose the status quo, I lose.
Well, MARS energy is definitely energising.
I admit I feel bit apprehensive on the change, but I remind myself Sadhguru said, "Don't avoid life". I know I be fine. I am no longer the old me. And I have meditation to keep me grounded.
Nine of Club
Completion of plan or idea
When this card appears, it will signal a time when some ideas or personal plans of yours are ready to end. If u choose to resist this ending, u will experience great disappointment, stubbornly holding on to things, ideas or plans that are no longer useful to u.
U r ready to be awaken to a new and higher way of thinking that will be better than u have imagined.
Soul
Yea, my early retirement plan has ended. I am now going for energising change.
Breaking thru - change of job
Dec 14
Father, today Suria was effortless. My body was so agile and I was laughing from first cycle. Did shakti and shambavi. There was some distraction of tots for Z and bathroom renovation but it was still fine. I was alert throughout and no dozing off despite sleeping around 12 pm yesterday. So, now I will put alarm at 4 am, 15 min later.
When I woke up I tot of taking up E's offer and it was fine. Tot of Sadhguru's message that we r here to experience life, we r not here to avoid life.
I am taking this because of the SOW, not because of more money. But I will be adequately rewarded. I will ask for more money
Osho
1. The issue
Comparison.
When u don't compare, all inferiority, all superiority, disappears. Then u r, u r simply there.
The way to find out who u r is not by comparing urself with others, but by looking to see whether u r fulfilling ur own potential in the best way u know.
Soul
Father, the new job is a departure my existing role. It will exclude back end function, which is fine with me. My downline are Reporting Analyst that generates sales forecast and actuals and tabulate sales comm and etc. I am finally going to front end completely.
And it is ironic as I have been saying no to E for a long time and yesterday was his final offer as he cannot wait for me anymore. Like boss said the window of opportunity is not open always.
I am very good at front end role. This role is about creating and building.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Inner Voice
If u have found ur truth within urself there is nothing more in this whole existence to find. Truth is functioning through u.
There are times in our lives when too many voices seem to be pulling us this way and that. Our very confusion in such situations is a reminder to seek silence and centering within. Only then we are able to hear our truth.
3. External influence
The Dream
We come alone into this world and we go alone. Nobody, whether its ur current mate or some dreamed of partner, has any obligation to deliver ur happiness on ur platter - nor could they even if they wanted to.
Real love comes from not trying to solve our neediness by depending on another, but by developing our own inner richness and maturity. Then we have so much love to give that we naturally draw lovers towards us.
Soul
For a moment I hesitated on the offer cos I was worried that it take me away from Z. But then I dismissed it as I know Z would encourage my growth.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Awareness.
The mind gives u a sort of stupor. Burdened by the memories of the past, burdened by projections of the future, u go on living - at the minimum. U don't live at the maximum. Ur flame remains very dim.
Once u start dropping tots, the dust that u have collected in the past, the flame arises - clean, clear, alive and young. Ur whole life becomes a flame, and a flame without any smoke. That is what awareness is.
A channel is now opening from the circumference of activity to that center of witnessing. It will help u to become detached, and a new awareness will lift the veil from ur eyes.
Soul
A few messengers came and I was open. There is no reason to say No. Any no I had was from fear of past that is projected into future. This is an opportunity of growth that will give me new insights and will give new materials to my writings.
These few months of stagnancy, there were no insights, so no writings. So, this is the just a tool for my Top 5.
Also reading my SN in Scorpio makes me realise my inner resistance for growth. And Sadhguru's message during sathsang on last Sunday said we r not here to avoid life.
I didn't even try to strategise nor was there any dilemma. It just seem right and I don't have any 'No'.
5. Resolution
Breakthrough
It is the greatest adventure in life to go through a breakdown consciously. It is the greatest risk because there is no guarantee that the breakdown will become a breakthrough. It does become, but these things cannot be guaranteed.
Without facing danger, nobody has ever become integrated, nobody has ever become an individual, indivisible. As the dawn comes closer, the night become darker.
All of us occasionally reach a point when "enough is enough". At such times, it seems we must do something, anything, even if it later turns out to be a mistake, to throw off the burdens and restrictions that are limiting us. If we don't, they threaten to suffocate and cripple our very life energy itself.
If u r now feeling that "enough is enough", allow urself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept ur energy from flowing. In doing so, u will be amazed at the vitality and empowerment this Breakthrough can bring to ur life.
Soul
When I read this on Monday, I tot what breakthru, as I already breakthru with Z.
It was last Sunday my final breakthru with Z.
Now I know why this is the results. Out of my awareness and help from Your messengers, I become open to E's offer and I become receptive to a change of portfolio, to face new experiences, to meet new people. I tot that I can share Isha.
Ruling Card - 52 days.
6 Dec 2011 To 27 Jan 12
Direct card
Five of Diamonds in Jupiter
Change in business and traveling are financially beneficial influence. Best influence for business trips, doing selling and promoting or making a change of occupation.
Ur own extravagance could deplete ur resources. It indicate large sums of money changing hands, changing ur job or changing the way u make money.
If so, flow with the changes, as they are leading u to greater success and satisfaction.
2nd card
Nine of Spades in Jupiter
U will likely experience a major completion or ending of a line of work or livelihood. This ending will in some way affect ur basic lifestyle in an important way. It seems as though u have been doing a certain occupation for a long time and now is the time to move on to something new.
Don't resist the endings, as they are positively leading u to a new, more exciting and more prosperous future.
Soul
When I read this sometimes on 2 Dec, I tot it is just me completely saying no to E. And looking back, saying no to E won't lead to any change. So, saying yes to E is the one leading change.
Father, all ur messages are intact. U re-affirm your call again. Amen.
Queen of Spades
The card of self-mastery, the one that sits in the position of highest accomplishment and recognition in what we call "spiritual spread". Whenever this card appears, we are given a special opportunity to achieve much success in our external life by mastering ourselves within. This means creating more success by changing our inner tots, beliefs and attitudes instead of trying to alter our external circumstances.
Father, today Suria was effortless. My body was so agile and I was laughing from first cycle. Did shakti and shambavi. There was some distraction of tots for Z and bathroom renovation but it was still fine. I was alert throughout and no dozing off despite sleeping around 12 pm yesterday. So, now I will put alarm at 4 am, 15 min later.
When I woke up I tot of taking up E's offer and it was fine. Tot of Sadhguru's message that we r here to experience life, we r not here to avoid life.
I am taking this because of the SOW, not because of more money. But I will be adequately rewarded. I will ask for more money
Osho
1. The issue
Comparison.
When u don't compare, all inferiority, all superiority, disappears. Then u r, u r simply there.
The way to find out who u r is not by comparing urself with others, but by looking to see whether u r fulfilling ur own potential in the best way u know.
Soul
Father, the new job is a departure my existing role. It will exclude back end function, which is fine with me. My downline are Reporting Analyst that generates sales forecast and actuals and tabulate sales comm and etc. I am finally going to front end completely.
And it is ironic as I have been saying no to E for a long time and yesterday was his final offer as he cannot wait for me anymore. Like boss said the window of opportunity is not open always.
I am very good at front end role. This role is about creating and building.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Inner Voice
If u have found ur truth within urself there is nothing more in this whole existence to find. Truth is functioning through u.
There are times in our lives when too many voices seem to be pulling us this way and that. Our very confusion in such situations is a reminder to seek silence and centering within. Only then we are able to hear our truth.
3. External influence
The Dream
We come alone into this world and we go alone. Nobody, whether its ur current mate or some dreamed of partner, has any obligation to deliver ur happiness on ur platter - nor could they even if they wanted to.
Real love comes from not trying to solve our neediness by depending on another, but by developing our own inner richness and maturity. Then we have so much love to give that we naturally draw lovers towards us.
Soul
For a moment I hesitated on the offer cos I was worried that it take me away from Z. But then I dismissed it as I know Z would encourage my growth.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Awareness.
The mind gives u a sort of stupor. Burdened by the memories of the past, burdened by projections of the future, u go on living - at the minimum. U don't live at the maximum. Ur flame remains very dim.
Once u start dropping tots, the dust that u have collected in the past, the flame arises - clean, clear, alive and young. Ur whole life becomes a flame, and a flame without any smoke. That is what awareness is.
A channel is now opening from the circumference of activity to that center of witnessing. It will help u to become detached, and a new awareness will lift the veil from ur eyes.
Soul
A few messengers came and I was open. There is no reason to say No. Any no I had was from fear of past that is projected into future. This is an opportunity of growth that will give me new insights and will give new materials to my writings.
These few months of stagnancy, there were no insights, so no writings. So, this is the just a tool for my Top 5.
Also reading my SN in Scorpio makes me realise my inner resistance for growth. And Sadhguru's message during sathsang on last Sunday said we r not here to avoid life.
I didn't even try to strategise nor was there any dilemma. It just seem right and I don't have any 'No'.
5. Resolution
Breakthrough
It is the greatest adventure in life to go through a breakdown consciously. It is the greatest risk because there is no guarantee that the breakdown will become a breakthrough. It does become, but these things cannot be guaranteed.
Without facing danger, nobody has ever become integrated, nobody has ever become an individual, indivisible. As the dawn comes closer, the night become darker.
All of us occasionally reach a point when "enough is enough". At such times, it seems we must do something, anything, even if it later turns out to be a mistake, to throw off the burdens and restrictions that are limiting us. If we don't, they threaten to suffocate and cripple our very life energy itself.
If u r now feeling that "enough is enough", allow urself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept ur energy from flowing. In doing so, u will be amazed at the vitality and empowerment this Breakthrough can bring to ur life.
Soul
When I read this on Monday, I tot what breakthru, as I already breakthru with Z.
It was last Sunday my final breakthru with Z.
Now I know why this is the results. Out of my awareness and help from Your messengers, I become open to E's offer and I become receptive to a change of portfolio, to face new experiences, to meet new people. I tot that I can share Isha.
Ruling Card - 52 days.
6 Dec 2011 To 27 Jan 12
Direct card
Five of Diamonds in Jupiter
Change in business and traveling are financially beneficial influence. Best influence for business trips, doing selling and promoting or making a change of occupation.
Ur own extravagance could deplete ur resources. It indicate large sums of money changing hands, changing ur job or changing the way u make money.
If so, flow with the changes, as they are leading u to greater success and satisfaction.
2nd card
Nine of Spades in Jupiter
U will likely experience a major completion or ending of a line of work or livelihood. This ending will in some way affect ur basic lifestyle in an important way. It seems as though u have been doing a certain occupation for a long time and now is the time to move on to something new.
Don't resist the endings, as they are positively leading u to a new, more exciting and more prosperous future.
Soul
When I read this sometimes on 2 Dec, I tot it is just me completely saying no to E. And looking back, saying no to E won't lead to any change. So, saying yes to E is the one leading change.
Father, all ur messages are intact. U re-affirm your call again. Amen.
Queen of Spades
The card of self-mastery, the one that sits in the position of highest accomplishment and recognition in what we call "spiritual spread". Whenever this card appears, we are given a special opportunity to achieve much success in our external life by mastering ourselves within. This means creating more success by changing our inner tots, beliefs and attitudes instead of trying to alter our external circumstances.
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