Sept 28 eve
Just got back home. On the way some tots of past flew by. This time I just accept the tot. Not judging myself. As I said yesterday my love was real and time is required to heal. I won't judge myself.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Indifference means I make no choices.
Restlessness is caused by the expectation that 'it should not happen or should happen'. The consciousness of those who have no expectations of any kind nor any attitude or insistence against whatsoever is happening, does not become unsettled.
Similarly within us, our egos are hanging, along with unhappiness and happiness - they are all lying there within us. Pass between them as if all were fine; whatever is, is fine. No need to pay attention to them, no need to choose from them, no need to be attracted to one thing and repulsed by some other - that is what is meant by indifference.
Soul
Guess no point judging myself for having tots of past. I can only be aware and not let myself be hooked.
Monday, September 30, 2013
When we don't choose, all blockages are destroyed
Sept 28
Just came back from Surya Kriya refresher.
I now got the first posture correct. I need to tighten the muladhara before I exhale and hold breathe. I found that I can keep on this much longer.
The other thing is the one leg on the floor; finally knew that its because my back feet alignment is the problem. My hands also able to touch the
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
The day one gives up all claims, choiceless awareness happens. That day, there remains no bondage for u in this world. Even if the whole world becomes an imprisonment and tighten itself around ur body like an octopus, there will be no bondage, because u accept that, too, it is okay.
It is in the choosing that consciousness becomes stuck. We get stuck in what we choose. When one simply do not choose, all blockages are destroyed; his contact with the shore is broken, and his contact with mainstream begins; he merges with the stream within.
Soul
Suddenly I tot I can't judge Z. We both choose; just different ends. He insisted on having and me on not having. Having can be expensive lifestyle, social, children and etc. Me in not having as I don't want to pay the price.
Father, been judging him. But we truly at different ends.
When I was reading Nanak, I stopped cos I was not ready for choicelessness. Picking up this book again on the same message. But this time I may be ready.
Sent from my p
Just came back from Surya Kriya refresher.
I now got the first posture correct. I need to tighten the muladhara before I exhale and hold breathe. I found that I can keep on this much longer.
The other thing is the one leg on the floor; finally knew that its because my back feet alignment is the problem. My hands also able to touch the
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
The day one gives up all claims, choiceless awareness happens. That day, there remains no bondage for u in this world. Even if the whole world becomes an imprisonment and tighten itself around ur body like an octopus, there will be no bondage, because u accept that, too, it is okay.
It is in the choosing that consciousness becomes stuck. We get stuck in what we choose. When one simply do not choose, all blockages are destroyed; his contact with the shore is broken, and his contact with mainstream begins; he merges with the stream within.
Soul
Suddenly I tot I can't judge Z. We both choose; just different ends. He insisted on having and me on not having. Having can be expensive lifestyle, social, children and etc. Me in not having as I don't want to pay the price.
Father, been judging him. But we truly at different ends.
When I was reading Nanak, I stopped cos I was not ready for choicelessness. Picking up this book again on the same message. But this time I may be ready.
Sent from my p
When you choose, you are trapped
Sept 27 eve 1
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
If u make a choice, u will become entangled in the world.
The world is choosing, liberation is in non-choosing. Just do not choose!
When happiness comes, accept it; when unhappiness comes, accept it.
One who does not put forward any demand in this world becomes free of it.
Soul
Apart from having my partner, I got little demands.
Others said I m liberated. My sister told me that if anyone wants to be single and happy. They must use me as benchmark.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
U r entrapped because of the very asking; it has nothing to do with gaining it or not gaining it.
Think of the fish which does not choose either the bait or hook - and simply swims past the bait indifferently. It is impossible to catch that fish.
Be in the world like the fish which does not choose, which does not ask. Then there can be no bondage for u, u cannot be trapped.
Soul
I always knew everything we want comes with a price. I normally judge the wants based on the price. If I can't afford to pay the price, I don't want it.
Whereas Z was opposite; he looks at what he wants, he forgo the price to pay. But he endures the price. For me I would feel suffering.
With him I learn to expand a bit and become less worried about the price to pay especially when I can pay the price.
But now after learning this. And also learning that I got no parameter in personal and romantic relationship; willing to pay unnecessary price keeping the relationships. I knew I had to back off. I knew I cannot afford to pay the price.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Whatsoever happens is accepted, what does not happen is not demanded. Such is the state of sannyas.
Soul
Mmm, maybe not. My interpretation not align as I had difficulty in going with the Flow.
Mmm, Z doesn't want not Having. And me doesn't want the Paying. Both similar. Just different ends of choice.
I don't mind not having cos I can't stand paying. That's not acceptance.
He don't mind paying cos he can't stand not having. That's also not acceptance.
Mmm, for the first time seeing we are just two sides of a coin.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
U cannot be free of the opposite of that which u have chosen; it will remain present. At the most, what can happen is that the side you have chosen may come out on top, and the side u have not chosen may remain in the bottom - but it cannot be destroyed.
Soul
Could that be it? I keep on putting all my wants into the bottom out of choice of not paying the price. So when it comes to romantic relationship, it screams for it.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
The very meaning of choosing is that we are choosing against something. And whatsoever we have chosen against will continue to follow us.
Soul
True
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
In choosing is the world, and hence I do not choose anymore. Now whatsoever happens, I accept it; what does not happen, I am not concerned by it.
Now I am willing ..., Now there is no voice of mine against existence.
Now if unhappiness comes, the right thing is happening.
If happiness comes, the right thing is happening.
Now I do not separate myself and say that it should happen only in a certain way. Now I have no expectations, demands and claims of my own. I have given up all claims.
The day one gives up all claims, choiceless awareness happens.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
If u make a choice, u will become entangled in the world.
The world is choosing, liberation is in non-choosing. Just do not choose!
When happiness comes, accept it; when unhappiness comes, accept it.
One who does not put forward any demand in this world becomes free of it.
Soul
Apart from having my partner, I got little demands.
Others said I m liberated. My sister told me that if anyone wants to be single and happy. They must use me as benchmark.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
U r entrapped because of the very asking; it has nothing to do with gaining it or not gaining it.
Think of the fish which does not choose either the bait or hook - and simply swims past the bait indifferently. It is impossible to catch that fish.
Be in the world like the fish which does not choose, which does not ask. Then there can be no bondage for u, u cannot be trapped.
Soul
I always knew everything we want comes with a price. I normally judge the wants based on the price. If I can't afford to pay the price, I don't want it.
Whereas Z was opposite; he looks at what he wants, he forgo the price to pay. But he endures the price. For me I would feel suffering.
With him I learn to expand a bit and become less worried about the price to pay especially when I can pay the price.
But now after learning this. And also learning that I got no parameter in personal and romantic relationship; willing to pay unnecessary price keeping the relationships. I knew I had to back off. I knew I cannot afford to pay the price.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Whatsoever happens is accepted, what does not happen is not demanded. Such is the state of sannyas.
Soul
Mmm, maybe not. My interpretation not align as I had difficulty in going with the Flow.
Mmm, Z doesn't want not Having. And me doesn't want the Paying. Both similar. Just different ends of choice.
I don't mind not having cos I can't stand paying. That's not acceptance.
He don't mind paying cos he can't stand not having. That's also not acceptance.
Mmm, for the first time seeing we are just two sides of a coin.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
U cannot be free of the opposite of that which u have chosen; it will remain present. At the most, what can happen is that the side you have chosen may come out on top, and the side u have not chosen may remain in the bottom - but it cannot be destroyed.
Soul
Could that be it? I keep on putting all my wants into the bottom out of choice of not paying the price. So when it comes to romantic relationship, it screams for it.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
The very meaning of choosing is that we are choosing against something. And whatsoever we have chosen against will continue to follow us.
Soul
True
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
In choosing is the world, and hence I do not choose anymore. Now whatsoever happens, I accept it; what does not happen, I am not concerned by it.
Now I am willing ..., Now there is no voice of mine against existence.
Now if unhappiness comes, the right thing is happening.
If happiness comes, the right thing is happening.
Now I do not separate myself and say that it should happen only in a certain way. Now I have no expectations, demands and claims of my own. I have given up all claims.
The day one gives up all claims, choiceless awareness happens.
Upanishad - Happiness is in the distance, in waiting, in hope
Sept 27 eve
Went for a walk in the park. Singing straight for 3 cycles of walk. Just singing love songs to the trees and grass. Love them and feel their love for me too. Quite effortless.
Came back and did my Shoonya. Went in deep. Followed by lovely Samyama. Didn't want to wake up. Towards the end I felt a loving feeling for Z. I said he was an asshole and he is in my past but doesn't mean my love was false. I did love him and he will leave a part in me cos he was my first. But I can now think of him without feeling anger. That's good.
Guess that the Friendliness card.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
One who is conscious while awake slowly learns how to sleep consciously and alas dies consciously.
But first one has to know this in the consciousness hidden within one's own body. Then the outer pot breaks and the inner sky merges with the vast sky.
Soul
Deep. But is beyond me.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
All happiness is in the distance, in the future, but as u come closer, it disappears. As long as happiness is not urs, it is happiness; as it becomes urs, it turns into unhappiness.
Happiness is in the distance. Happiness is not in things, it is in the distance, it is in ur hope, it is in ur waiting.
When happiness comes - or as it comes closer - it begins to disappear, and by the time it is in ur hands, it becomes unhappiness.
Neither happiness and unhappiness is inherent in anything. The greater the distance, the greater appears the happiness; as it comes closer, the greater is the unhappiness. This is a very complex trap.
Soul
Something here. I knew hope of unknown give some happiness. And the reality may not be so bright. But this darshan by Osho is something else.
Yesterday night I said no more challenges. I prefer to be alone. No more going for hope to have dream partner. The price not worth it. No more asking for anything. I just want to be. Whatever happens, happens. No more striving.
Today got this. Not sure yet.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Whatever we bring close, unhappiness begins to breed out of it. The more we ask for happiness.....
One, u will not get it, because nothing is received through asking; and when u do not get it, u will be frustrated.
Second, even if u did get it, u will encounter failure, emptiness would surround you because all ur efforts had been futile, nothing had really been achieved; u rushed around, laboured hard, glittering from a distance .... Any music sounds celestial from a distance.
Soul
Wow.
Went for a walk in the park. Singing straight for 3 cycles of walk. Just singing love songs to the trees and grass. Love them and feel their love for me too. Quite effortless.
Came back and did my Shoonya. Went in deep. Followed by lovely Samyama. Didn't want to wake up. Towards the end I felt a loving feeling for Z. I said he was an asshole and he is in my past but doesn't mean my love was false. I did love him and he will leave a part in me cos he was my first. But I can now think of him without feeling anger. That's good.
Guess that the Friendliness card.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
One who is conscious while awake slowly learns how to sleep consciously and alas dies consciously.
But first one has to know this in the consciousness hidden within one's own body. Then the outer pot breaks and the inner sky merges with the vast sky.
Soul
Deep. But is beyond me.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
All happiness is in the distance, in the future, but as u come closer, it disappears. As long as happiness is not urs, it is happiness; as it becomes urs, it turns into unhappiness.
Happiness is in the distance. Happiness is not in things, it is in the distance, it is in ur hope, it is in ur waiting.
When happiness comes - or as it comes closer - it begins to disappear, and by the time it is in ur hands, it becomes unhappiness.
Neither happiness and unhappiness is inherent in anything. The greater the distance, the greater appears the happiness; as it comes closer, the greater is the unhappiness. This is a very complex trap.
Soul
Something here. I knew hope of unknown give some happiness. And the reality may not be so bright. But this darshan by Osho is something else.
Yesterday night I said no more challenges. I prefer to be alone. No more going for hope to have dream partner. The price not worth it. No more asking for anything. I just want to be. Whatever happens, happens. No more striving.
Today got this. Not sure yet.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Whatever we bring close, unhappiness begins to breed out of it. The more we ask for happiness.....
One, u will not get it, because nothing is received through asking; and when u do not get it, u will be frustrated.
Second, even if u did get it, u will encounter failure, emptiness would surround you because all ur efforts had been futile, nothing had really been achieved; u rushed around, laboured hard, glittering from a distance .... Any music sounds celestial from a distance.
Soul
Wow.
Nine of Hearts
Sept 27
Had medicine after 10.30 pm and slept around midnight. I knew I won't have enough sleep if I get up for practices. So didn't bother. True enough I woke up with a smile at around 6 am. Doze back and wake up at 6.50 am upon alarm.
Still bit groggy, guess effects from medicine.
I always better after my practices.
Just now P was acting controller again with harsh tone. This time, I just assert myself. I no longer take it personally. An hour late, she reverted as she must have realised her tone was harsh earlier
Just got a call from another state, isha core member, she too was demotivated. She said she wanted to cry already as teacher gave her so much pressure. I told her just ignored it..
I told her that teacher is just like my ex-boss. She thinks that people like challenges and will grow from it. I told her that my ex-boss like to throw 'spanner' to me when I m riding a bike. I told her cheer up.
She just messaged saying she now feels motivated after my chat.
She said she was also sad at the way teacher responded to my email earlier.
mmm, today Nine of Hearts.
1) After my cries...feel let go of past. Eyes was bit swollen today. Coincidentally received whatsapp whatsapp message that Z gave to all. As of today, I no longer take it up.
2) comforting people.
The Nine of Hearts
The Nine of Hearts can be a card of emotional disappointment and personal losses on the affectional level. However, this is the card of completions in love and of 'Universal Love'. Yes, the Nine of Hearts can signal the ending of one or more key relationships. If so, it is most likely that these relationships are no longer doing you any good. It is time for them to end, whether or not you realize this at the time they happen.
However, the Nine of Hearts can also represent our helping others by counseling them or in some way sharing our love and compassion with them. It means a giving of love in a more or less selfless manner.
Oh yea, S called me; as if nothing happens previously. For me, just stay focused. Set parameters
This week Resolution card come fruitful. Encounters with 2 Parental/Controller mode in my life. They no longer holds me
First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. Then it is simple, too. You don't depend on others and you don't make others dependent on you. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness. It never becomes a relationship, it is always a relatedness
Had medicine after 10.30 pm and slept around midnight. I knew I won't have enough sleep if I get up for practices. So didn't bother. True enough I woke up with a smile at around 6 am. Doze back and wake up at 6.50 am upon alarm.
Still bit groggy, guess effects from medicine.
I always better after my practices.
Just now P was acting controller again with harsh tone. This time, I just assert myself. I no longer take it personally. An hour late, she reverted as she must have realised her tone was harsh earlier
Just got a call from another state, isha core member, she too was demotivated. She said she wanted to cry already as teacher gave her so much pressure. I told her just ignored it..
I told her that teacher is just like my ex-boss. She thinks that people like challenges and will grow from it. I told her that my ex-boss like to throw 'spanner' to me when I m riding a bike. I told her cheer up.
She just messaged saying she now feels motivated after my chat.
She said she was also sad at the way teacher responded to my email earlier.
mmm, today Nine of Hearts.
1) After my cries...feel let go of past. Eyes was bit swollen today. Coincidentally received whatsapp whatsapp message that Z gave to all. As of today, I no longer take it up.
2) comforting people.
The Nine of Hearts
The Nine of Hearts can be a card of emotional disappointment and personal losses on the affectional level. However, this is the card of completions in love and of 'Universal Love'. Yes, the Nine of Hearts can signal the ending of one or more key relationships. If so, it is most likely that these relationships are no longer doing you any good. It is time for them to end, whether or not you realize this at the time they happen.
However, the Nine of Hearts can also represent our helping others by counseling them or in some way sharing our love and compassion with them. It means a giving of love in a more or less selfless manner.
Oh yea, S called me; as if nothing happens previously. For me, just stay focused. Set parameters
This week Resolution card come fruitful. Encounters with 2 Parental/Controller mode in my life. They no longer holds me
First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. Then it is simple, too. You don't depend on others and you don't make others dependent on you. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness. It never becomes a relationship, it is always a relatedness
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Osho - constant awareness is required
Sept 26 eve 3
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
When ur semen, ur energy, continued to be accumulated within to a certain point - without any storms happening and no necessity arising for useless throwing of energy out - suddenly, when the energy accumulation reaches a certain point, it begins to rise upwards instead of flow downwards.
Soul
When I do my practices, my head would tend to shake non stop at certain level.
Mmm, wonder if I should contain in...but then the head will feel like explosion.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
It is necessary to keep constant awareness. Losing awareness even for a moment will not do. To remain aware is necessary up to such a time there remains not even the smallest quantity of algae or grass within.
When all the algae and grass are burned in their seed form, then there is no need for remaining aware, because awareness at that stage becomes ur nature.
Soul
Tell me about it.
But truly difficult to be in awareness all the times especially when the tots are not hurting.
Father, is there another way?
Or maybe, I will have to wait till Samyama refresher
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
When ur semen, ur energy, continued to be accumulated within to a certain point - without any storms happening and no necessity arising for useless throwing of energy out - suddenly, when the energy accumulation reaches a certain point, it begins to rise upwards instead of flow downwards.
Soul
When I do my practices, my head would tend to shake non stop at certain level.
Mmm, wonder if I should contain in...but then the head will feel like explosion.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
It is necessary to keep constant awareness. Losing awareness even for a moment will not do. To remain aware is necessary up to such a time there remains not even the smallest quantity of algae or grass within.
When all the algae and grass are burned in their seed form, then there is no need for remaining aware, because awareness at that stage becomes ur nature.
Soul
Tell me about it.
But truly difficult to be in awareness all the times especially when the tots are not hurting.
Father, is there another way?
Or maybe, I will have to wait till Samyama refresher
Osho - sex is a safety valve for tension...
Sept 26 eve 2
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
We have bought many things which we have never wanted.
Our whole life is a similar collection of things, and the ego is the total collection of all this. We have stolen the shine from the eyes of others, put it all together, and that has become our flickering light. But it is always the others who are masters, any day they want to, they can pull the support.
U have created a false centre and if you have taken urself to be this centre, why will u then search for ur real centre? U have taken it for granted that this is the real centre.
We got our first experiment of 'I' from others and we continue to get it from others. Slowly we accumulate opinions, approvals, certificates, the view of others, prestige and respect from society.
The day no 'I' arises within u, that day u r standing at ur real 'I'. The real 'I' is called the soul. And naturally then ur individuality becomes spotlessly clean like the full moon - ever blissful and self luminous.
Soul
Amen.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
When u r more anxious, u are more filled with desire; when u r more tense, sexual desire arises more in u because, through sex that tension can be released and u can become lighter.
When the mind reaches a certain limit of tension due to anything, the sex centre functions like a safety valve. Ur body finds a way to throw out the tension. When energy flows out, body becomes weak.
Freud describes sex as natural tranquilliser, a soothing drug. Man returns home tired and weary from a whole day of problems of all sorts and is engulfed by anxieties. If he is able to release that energy through sex, he falls asleep peacefully at night.
Women soon come to realise that they are only functioning as a safety valve. They soon discover there is no love or anything of that sort in it, it is all mechanical. They soon come to realise that slowly, slowly, they have become a mechanism for this man through which he releases his energy and goes to sleep.
Soul
That's explain Z - seven of Spades.
Father, sad but I m just a safety valve function. Never mind I got mine released too. Luckily I had my fun for one year before the safety valve function.
On second tots, he also help to release himself, so I was not the only safety valve.
Father, glad I read this now after my major cries. I can see this as it is. The old me would have been very hurt. The new me sees the fact.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
When there is great anxiety of the mind, it runs towards indulging desires.
Soul
When I was with Z, he was busy trying to get new biz, to get himself up to speed on his financials. He was generally anxious...so thats explains it.
I used to indulge in food. But I can now have releases too.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
The other method is to become a witness and all this trouble subsides. U will ride on the energy on the upward journey.
Soul
I did this. The first time I saw Z and wife. I was so disturbed. Mind was on sloughs with so much negative tots. I was driving. I focus on my breathe and tots. After awhile, the storm pass by.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
We have bought many things which we have never wanted.
Our whole life is a similar collection of things, and the ego is the total collection of all this. We have stolen the shine from the eyes of others, put it all together, and that has become our flickering light. But it is always the others who are masters, any day they want to, they can pull the support.
U have created a false centre and if you have taken urself to be this centre, why will u then search for ur real centre? U have taken it for granted that this is the real centre.
We got our first experiment of 'I' from others and we continue to get it from others. Slowly we accumulate opinions, approvals, certificates, the view of others, prestige and respect from society.
The day no 'I' arises within u, that day u r standing at ur real 'I'. The real 'I' is called the soul. And naturally then ur individuality becomes spotlessly clean like the full moon - ever blissful and self luminous.
Soul
Amen.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
When u r more anxious, u are more filled with desire; when u r more tense, sexual desire arises more in u because, through sex that tension can be released and u can become lighter.
When the mind reaches a certain limit of tension due to anything, the sex centre functions like a safety valve. Ur body finds a way to throw out the tension. When energy flows out, body becomes weak.
Freud describes sex as natural tranquilliser, a soothing drug. Man returns home tired and weary from a whole day of problems of all sorts and is engulfed by anxieties. If he is able to release that energy through sex, he falls asleep peacefully at night.
Women soon come to realise that they are only functioning as a safety valve. They soon discover there is no love or anything of that sort in it, it is all mechanical. They soon come to realise that slowly, slowly, they have become a mechanism for this man through which he releases his energy and goes to sleep.
Soul
That's explain Z - seven of Spades.
Father, sad but I m just a safety valve function. Never mind I got mine released too. Luckily I had my fun for one year before the safety valve function.
On second tots, he also help to release himself, so I was not the only safety valve.
Father, glad I read this now after my major cries. I can see this as it is. The old me would have been very hurt. The new me sees the fact.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
When there is great anxiety of the mind, it runs towards indulging desires.
Soul
When I was with Z, he was busy trying to get new biz, to get himself up to speed on his financials. He was generally anxious...so thats explains it.
I used to indulge in food. But I can now have releases too.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
The other method is to become a witness and all this trouble subsides. U will ride on the energy on the upward journey.
Soul
I did this. The first time I saw Z and wife. I was so disturbed. Mind was on sloughs with so much negative tots. I was driving. I focus on my breathe and tots. After awhile, the storm pass by.
Happy that I can now cry freely
Sept 26 eve 1
Got this in FB.
Socrates
The secret of change is to focus all ur energy not in fighting the old but on building the new.
Soul
Amen.
Just finished watching drama show on television. The heroin also cried before finally releasing her past.
A coincidence. Firstly I fall sick probably due to too much unshed tears for past 2 months. Then menses came after 2 months and today I cry after 2 months. I love that I can cry unbashedly without auto stopping. I love that I can now cry freely. Amen
First step loving myself, allowing myself to be sad, to cry out of frustration. To cry non stop. To cry for the sake of tears.
Suddenly saw my today card
My Daily Card
The Six of Clubs
The Six of Clubs is THE card of intuition. Its presence in your cards can indicate a time when your intuition will be stronger than usual. It is also the card of responsibility in speech and communications and of making compromises to maintain a peaceful surrounding. When this card shows up, situations will arise that promote bringing your life into balance and stability. Whatever is out of balance will have to be adjusted so there may be karmic debts to pay.
On a more universal level, the presence of the Six of Clubs can indicate a time when we can become aware of a special purpose in our life, something to do with sharing higher knowledge with others. It has also been called the 'John the Baptist Card' and the 'Way-Shower's Card'. Thus it can be a harbinger of an important mission for you, one which will lead you to a higher purpose and lifestyle in the spiritual sense.
Soul
I feel this card a settlement of values.
I do value my tears. My tears are not something to be ashamed of. It is ok to cry even if I m strong. It is ok to unbashedly.
Father, thank You.
Now perhaps I understand this week card.
1. Issue
Schizophrenia
U cannot utter a simple 'yes' with totality. In this way happiness is not possible; unhappiness is a natural consequence of a split personality.
Soul
Yes, saying yes to letting go of past but still lingers on now and then.
2. Internal influence
Morality.
Unless awareness arises in u, all ur morality is bogus. But once ur morAlity has come out of awareness, not out of certain discipline, then u will respond in every situation out of ur awareness.
The Queen of Clouds lurks in the mind of all of us who have been brought up with rigid ideas of good and bad, acceptable and unacceptable, moral and immoral. These judgement of the mind is just our conditioning. Only when we break through the cage of our conditioning and reach the truth of our own hearts can we begin to see life as it is.
Soul
I interpret this as me able to cry freely and unbashedly. Me able to connect to my heart and just feel whatever inside without judgment.
Me now thinking crying is ok. Crying won't kill me. In fact I feel much better after crying.
Got this in FB.
Socrates
The secret of change is to focus all ur energy not in fighting the old but on building the new.
Soul
Amen.
Just finished watching drama show on television. The heroin also cried before finally releasing her past.
A coincidence. Firstly I fall sick probably due to too much unshed tears for past 2 months. Then menses came after 2 months and today I cry after 2 months. I love that I can cry unbashedly without auto stopping. I love that I can now cry freely. Amen
First step loving myself, allowing myself to be sad, to cry out of frustration. To cry non stop. To cry for the sake of tears.
Suddenly saw my today card
My Daily Card
The Six of Clubs
The Six of Clubs is THE card of intuition. Its presence in your cards can indicate a time when your intuition will be stronger than usual. It is also the card of responsibility in speech and communications and of making compromises to maintain a peaceful surrounding. When this card shows up, situations will arise that promote bringing your life into balance and stability. Whatever is out of balance will have to be adjusted so there may be karmic debts to pay.
On a more universal level, the presence of the Six of Clubs can indicate a time when we can become aware of a special purpose in our life, something to do with sharing higher knowledge with others. It has also been called the 'John the Baptist Card' and the 'Way-Shower's Card'. Thus it can be a harbinger of an important mission for you, one which will lead you to a higher purpose and lifestyle in the spiritual sense.
Soul
I feel this card a settlement of values.
I do value my tears. My tears are not something to be ashamed of. It is ok to cry even if I m strong. It is ok to unbashedly.
Father, thank You.
Now perhaps I understand this week card.
1. Issue
Schizophrenia
U cannot utter a simple 'yes' with totality. In this way happiness is not possible; unhappiness is a natural consequence of a split personality.
Soul
Yes, saying yes to letting go of past but still lingers on now and then.
2. Internal influence
Morality.
Unless awareness arises in u, all ur morality is bogus. But once ur morAlity has come out of awareness, not out of certain discipline, then u will respond in every situation out of ur awareness.
The Queen of Clouds lurks in the mind of all of us who have been brought up with rigid ideas of good and bad, acceptable and unacceptable, moral and immoral. These judgement of the mind is just our conditioning. Only when we break through the cage of our conditioning and reach the truth of our own hearts can we begin to see life as it is.
Soul
I interpret this as me able to cry freely and unbashedly. Me able to connect to my heart and just feel whatever inside without judgment.
Me now thinking crying is ok. Crying won't kill me. In fact I feel much better after crying.
Freedom to cry and wail - I can finally cry without holding back
Sept 26 eve
Driving home listening to radio on love songs. Suddenly tots went into past. Feeling nostalgic. Bit sad I got no one and the past is now no more. Not sure of future.
I told myself I want to rest. No more searching. I just want to accept myself without a partner.
Got this from Sadhguru FB.
Sadhguru
To be in company is sweet. To be alone is absolute.
Soul
Yeas.
Just did my Shoonya. Suddenly I cried loads. Finished 10 pieces of tissues. I cried that I feel alone. I cried that I still miss Z despite knowing I should not. I cried that the challenge is so difficult. I cried that I m truly so lovable; never hurt anyone, never asked anything. I just give love.
I cried that I can't take anymore challenge. No more and I find my hand moving up saying no more. I felt I was a child again.
I m not confident of facing anymore challenge. I cried that I prefer to be alone than to face challenges again.
The last time I cried so much was when I received Z's wedding card. But this time I cried without holding back or stopping intermittently.
Now again I m sick. I recalled reading that flu or excess mucus is due to unshed tears. Possible as it is difficult for me to cry. I recalled I fell sick too when I received Z's wedding card.
Compared to last June when I had to give myself permission to cry. This time I cry freely like a child. Just crying continuously without auto stop alarm. I like that. I finally liberate myself to cry. Auto stop no longer there. Amen.
Father, no more challenges. I no longer want to prove myself. I just want to learn to accept myself.
Volume 5 is on recovery. Volume 6 will be on self acceptance. I will start with accepting the Ruling Ace of Diamonds. Amen.
From FB.
Haruki Murakami
Sometimes the hardest storm to get through is what ur soul need most.
And once the storm is over, u won't remember how u made it through, how u managed to survive.
But survive, u did.
And one thing is certain: when you come out of the storm, u won't be the same person who walked in.
That's what the storm is all about.
Just read this in FB - Gigi Galluzzo
There is a reason for all the glorious seasons
Change as the seasons do and delight in the wonder and goodness that arise when we allowed change to be enjoyed, no matter the weather.
Driving home listening to radio on love songs. Suddenly tots went into past. Feeling nostalgic. Bit sad I got no one and the past is now no more. Not sure of future.
I told myself I want to rest. No more searching. I just want to accept myself without a partner.
Got this from Sadhguru FB.
Sadhguru
To be in company is sweet. To be alone is absolute.
Soul
Yeas.
Just did my Shoonya. Suddenly I cried loads. Finished 10 pieces of tissues. I cried that I feel alone. I cried that I still miss Z despite knowing I should not. I cried that the challenge is so difficult. I cried that I m truly so lovable; never hurt anyone, never asked anything. I just give love.
I cried that I can't take anymore challenge. No more and I find my hand moving up saying no more. I felt I was a child again.
I m not confident of facing anymore challenge. I cried that I prefer to be alone than to face challenges again.
The last time I cried so much was when I received Z's wedding card. But this time I cried without holding back or stopping intermittently.
Now again I m sick. I recalled reading that flu or excess mucus is due to unshed tears. Possible as it is difficult for me to cry. I recalled I fell sick too when I received Z's wedding card.
Compared to last June when I had to give myself permission to cry. This time I cry freely like a child. Just crying continuously without auto stop alarm. I like that. I finally liberate myself to cry. Auto stop no longer there. Amen.
Father, no more challenges. I no longer want to prove myself. I just want to learn to accept myself.
Volume 5 is on recovery. Volume 6 will be on self acceptance. I will start with accepting the Ruling Ace of Diamonds. Amen.
From FB.
Haruki Murakami
Sometimes the hardest storm to get through is what ur soul need most.
And once the storm is over, u won't remember how u made it through, how u managed to survive.
But survive, u did.
And one thing is certain: when you come out of the storm, u won't be the same person who walked in.
That's what the storm is all about.
Just read this in FB - Gigi Galluzzo
There is a reason for all the glorious seasons
Change as the seasons do and delight in the wonder and goodness that arise when we allowed change to be enjoyed, no matter the weather.
Upanishad - ego is not holding you; but you are catching on to ego
Sept 26 mor
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Let go and fly
Only a person free from holding on to the ego attains to self-nature. Therefore, becomes spotlessly clean like the full moon, one becomes ever blissful and self-luminous.
On cessation of the sense of doing, all anxieties cease. On cessation of the anxieties, all desires cease. The cessation of desires is emancipation - this is called jivanamukti, liberation while living.
Seeing all, everywhere, in every direction, as Brahman, the absolute reality - on the ripening of the feeling of such goodwill, do desires cease.
Never be negligent of ur allegiance to Brahman, the absolute reality, because that is the only death, say the ones who are well rooted in Brahman.
Even if shifted aside, the algae do not lose time in covering the water again. Similarly, if a wise man swerves from his allegiance to Brahman even for a little while, illusions covers him.
Soul
Clouds of tots flies past. It was I who hooked on it. It is not them holding on. I ride on the clouds and create my own tots.
This truly required constant awareness.
I can't stop nor control the clouds of tots.
I can only control myself not to hook and hold on.
For now I am learning not to hold on too long; learning to let go.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
A very deep truth is revealed. The ego has not caught hold of u; it is u who have caught hold of the ego.
The world has not caught hold of you, it is u who have caught hold of the world.
Sufferings are not clinging to u, they are your very own creations. Sufferings are not chasing u, they have not taken any resolve to give u trouble; they come to u only at ur invitation.
Soul
So true for all. If this message has come before I discover my parameter issue in personal and romantic relationship; I would have disagreed.
Alas, no resistance. All is true.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
So it is wrong to ask, "How to be free of all these?" The right question to ask, "How, in what manner, and with what tricks, am I holding on to all the misery and trouble?"
What is the pattern with which we catch hold of our sufferings?
Why do I go on creating newer and newer expanses and skies of desires?
If u r ready to drop the world, then u will find that ur liberation is already the case. U r already free, but u have managed to remain in bondage through great self-trickery.
Soul
I can truly see the case for Z. And I can see mine but not as clearly. Perhaps me more judging him.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Let go and fly
Only a person free from holding on to the ego attains to self-nature. Therefore, becomes spotlessly clean like the full moon, one becomes ever blissful and self-luminous.
On cessation of the sense of doing, all anxieties cease. On cessation of the anxieties, all desires cease. The cessation of desires is emancipation - this is called jivanamukti, liberation while living.
Seeing all, everywhere, in every direction, as Brahman, the absolute reality - on the ripening of the feeling of such goodwill, do desires cease.
Never be negligent of ur allegiance to Brahman, the absolute reality, because that is the only death, say the ones who are well rooted in Brahman.
Even if shifted aside, the algae do not lose time in covering the water again. Similarly, if a wise man swerves from his allegiance to Brahman even for a little while, illusions covers him.
Soul
Clouds of tots flies past. It was I who hooked on it. It is not them holding on. I ride on the clouds and create my own tots.
This truly required constant awareness.
I can't stop nor control the clouds of tots.
I can only control myself not to hook and hold on.
For now I am learning not to hold on too long; learning to let go.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
A very deep truth is revealed. The ego has not caught hold of u; it is u who have caught hold of the ego.
The world has not caught hold of you, it is u who have caught hold of the world.
Sufferings are not clinging to u, they are your very own creations. Sufferings are not chasing u, they have not taken any resolve to give u trouble; they come to u only at ur invitation.
Soul
So true for all. If this message has come before I discover my parameter issue in personal and romantic relationship; I would have disagreed.
Alas, no resistance. All is true.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
So it is wrong to ask, "How to be free of all these?" The right question to ask, "How, in what manner, and with what tricks, am I holding on to all the misery and trouble?"
What is the pattern with which we catch hold of our sufferings?
Why do I go on creating newer and newer expanses and skies of desires?
If u r ready to drop the world, then u will find that ur liberation is already the case. U r already free, but u have managed to remain in bondage through great self-trickery.
Soul
I can truly see the case for Z. And I can see mine but not as clearly. Perhaps me more judging him.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Let the past goes - I live my life and let him live his
Sept 26
Woke up with this tots:
I lived my life and so let him live his. No more thinking for him.
Let me focus on my own self acceptance.
Woke up 4.20 am upon alarm but still groggy from the medication as I took it too late at night. Slept back for an hour and wake up 5.20 am to do practices.
Still bit groggy so practices not so great. But I am more aware of my tots and ensure I bring myself back. Very little tots of past, more of office matters. Some of C. Basically flying tots that has no emotional impact.
Shakti was fine but no Kapala due to menses. Shambavi was good. Towards the end in arda Siddharna in silence.
Osho
What is needed for resolution?
Slowing down
Each moment one has to be at ease with oneself - not trying to improve, not cultivating anything, not practising anything.
Do whatsoever u r doing, but at the deepest core remain at ease, cool, calm and centred.
There is no need to do anything but rest in the fullness of who you are right now. If desires and hopes and dreams are fading away, so much the better. Their disappearance is making space for a new quality of stillness and acceptance of what is, and u r able to welcome this development in a way u have never been able to do before.
Savour this quality of slowing down, of coming to rest and recognising that u are already at home.
Soul
Yea. Accepting myself as I am now, without a partner.
Resolution
Friendliness
First meditate, be blissful and then much love will happen on its own accord. U don't depend on others and u don't make others dependent on u. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness.
It is the birth of a higher, more loving quality born out of fullness of experience. It is a birth of a love that is truly unconditional, without expectations or demands.
Soul
Amen.
Woke up with this tots:
I lived my life and so let him live his. No more thinking for him.
Let me focus on my own self acceptance.
Woke up 4.20 am upon alarm but still groggy from the medication as I took it too late at night. Slept back for an hour and wake up 5.20 am to do practices.
Still bit groggy so practices not so great. But I am more aware of my tots and ensure I bring myself back. Very little tots of past, more of office matters. Some of C. Basically flying tots that has no emotional impact.
Shakti was fine but no Kapala due to menses. Shambavi was good. Towards the end in arda Siddharna in silence.
Osho
What is needed for resolution?
Slowing down
Each moment one has to be at ease with oneself - not trying to improve, not cultivating anything, not practising anything.
Do whatsoever u r doing, but at the deepest core remain at ease, cool, calm and centred.
There is no need to do anything but rest in the fullness of who you are right now. If desires and hopes and dreams are fading away, so much the better. Their disappearance is making space for a new quality of stillness and acceptance of what is, and u r able to welcome this development in a way u have never been able to do before.
Savour this quality of slowing down, of coming to rest and recognising that u are already at home.
Soul
Yea. Accepting myself as I am now, without a partner.
Resolution
Friendliness
First meditate, be blissful and then much love will happen on its own accord. U don't depend on others and u don't make others dependent on u. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness.
It is the birth of a higher, more loving quality born out of fullness of experience. It is a birth of a love that is truly unconditional, without expectations or demands.
Soul
Amen.
As long as I can't truly accept myself, I will remain unfulfilled
Sept 25 eve 1
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
A mirror is never polluted by reflections. No matter in how many worlds u may have been wandering, ur mirror has always remain pure and innocent.
Soul
Finally I understand the concept of mirror used in Osho tarot cards.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
The whole point is that ur consciousness within is just a mirror. Whatever u have inside, it is outside ur consciousness. Nothing has ever entered inside ur consciousness, though it feels as if it has.
As long as one does not recognise the purity of one's consciousness one is unfulfilled. One may go on doing anything, achieving anything, but all that achievement will be useless. All that is done will be undone; all the running about will be as good as drawing lines on water which disappears even before one has finished drawing them. One may go on drawing those lines again and again, but they will just keep disappearing.
Soul
Sounds so hopeless our pursuits if we cannot know our purity. Me so far away.
At the moment I only know my personality of Ace of Diamonds - low valuation resulting in openness gives me both sadness and joy. Sadness cos I m easily taken by other values and got hurt or distracted from my path. Joy cos openness to messages of Masters and willingness to walk journey in Isha despite my fear and resistance.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
At the end of life, at the moment of death, people who have been searching for reflections come to realize that they have been drawing on lines. Everything disappears: reputation, position, wealth, all accumulations - everything disappears. It is discovered at moment of death that one was drawing lines as though on granite but actually one was drawing on water. But it is discovered only when nothing can be done about it.
Soul
Wow! Wish I can come to that realisation.
Just now mind went to past for a split second. I can see it and bring back to present.
A just called and I shared my discovery on parameters. I told him now my journey is on self acceptance.
I started self discovery journey back in 1997. 16 years of journey.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
A mirror is never polluted by reflections. No matter in how many worlds u may have been wandering, ur mirror has always remain pure and innocent.
Soul
Finally I understand the concept of mirror used in Osho tarot cards.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
The whole point is that ur consciousness within is just a mirror. Whatever u have inside, it is outside ur consciousness. Nothing has ever entered inside ur consciousness, though it feels as if it has.
As long as one does not recognise the purity of one's consciousness one is unfulfilled. One may go on doing anything, achieving anything, but all that achievement will be useless. All that is done will be undone; all the running about will be as good as drawing lines on water which disappears even before one has finished drawing them. One may go on drawing those lines again and again, but they will just keep disappearing.
Soul
Sounds so hopeless our pursuits if we cannot know our purity. Me so far away.
At the moment I only know my personality of Ace of Diamonds - low valuation resulting in openness gives me both sadness and joy. Sadness cos I m easily taken by other values and got hurt or distracted from my path. Joy cos openness to messages of Masters and willingness to walk journey in Isha despite my fear and resistance.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
At the end of life, at the moment of death, people who have been searching for reflections come to realize that they have been drawing on lines. Everything disappears: reputation, position, wealth, all accumulations - everything disappears. It is discovered at moment of death that one was drawing lines as though on granite but actually one was drawing on water. But it is discovered only when nothing can be done about it.
Soul
Wow! Wish I can come to that realisation.
Just now mind went to past for a split second. I can see it and bring back to present.
A just called and I shared my discovery on parameters. I told him now my journey is on self acceptance.
I started self discovery journey back in 1997. 16 years of journey.
When I lost my attachment to food...my high definition eyes sight for nature becomes consistent
Sept 25 eve
Did Shoonya at 4 pm, went in deep. Did Shoonya again at 7 pm, not as deep but nice. Towards the end I find it difficult to open my eyes. Continue with Samyama, nice. Unexpectedly sitting in Arda Sidhharna posture. These days sitting for Samyama seems longer than I feel. I tot I sat 15 minutes but actually is 25 minutes. A far cries from the early years when I tend to doze off within minutes.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
One of the doors is towards nature - downwards - and one is towards godliness - upwards. When our mind is filled with sexual desire we are closest to body. And when we are closest to body, then the door opens through which we enter into the world of other bodies. When we are disinterested and far away from the body, then the door that open through which we enter the world of souls. Both of these doors are there in the body.
Soul
Before Z, I didn't know that sex with the right partner is important to me. So, I tot my route was the soul. Now I know can be both but soul still the priority to me.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
When a person drops attachment to his body, then the luminously that comes to his eyes for the first time is that of his own flame, his own soul.
Soul
When I read this, I tot of my attachment to food. My greatest challenge in Isha was food. I was a gourmet eater and I totally disliked Indian food. When I went to Ashram for BSP, I couldn't eat the food and so ate loads of banana. I was known as the banana gal.
I only ate at the restaurant and never at Biksha Hall. It took me three years and 6 visits before I ate voluntarily in Biksha hall.
I cried in Samyama when I was forced to eat kanji.
Since most of Isha are Indians, I had to eat Indian food most of the time. I ate a little out of courtesy.
My greatest fear after BSP was becoming a vegetarian. In fact knowing Sadhguru's power over me I avoided him most in case I was converted.
After four and half year, I turned into eating seafood only. It happens overnight. There were no dilemma, to my amazement and also to others. Everyone knew my karma on food.
Slowly as my attachment to food reduce, my eyesight and connection to nature becomes more consistent.
Did Shoonya at 4 pm, went in deep. Did Shoonya again at 7 pm, not as deep but nice. Towards the end I find it difficult to open my eyes. Continue with Samyama, nice. Unexpectedly sitting in Arda Sidhharna posture. These days sitting for Samyama seems longer than I feel. I tot I sat 15 minutes but actually is 25 minutes. A far cries from the early years when I tend to doze off within minutes.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
One of the doors is towards nature - downwards - and one is towards godliness - upwards. When our mind is filled with sexual desire we are closest to body. And when we are closest to body, then the door opens through which we enter into the world of other bodies. When we are disinterested and far away from the body, then the door that open through which we enter the world of souls. Both of these doors are there in the body.
Soul
Before Z, I didn't know that sex with the right partner is important to me. So, I tot my route was the soul. Now I know can be both but soul still the priority to me.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
When a person drops attachment to his body, then the luminously that comes to his eyes for the first time is that of his own flame, his own soul.
Soul
When I read this, I tot of my attachment to food. My greatest challenge in Isha was food. I was a gourmet eater and I totally disliked Indian food. When I went to Ashram for BSP, I couldn't eat the food and so ate loads of banana. I was known as the banana gal.
I only ate at the restaurant and never at Biksha Hall. It took me three years and 6 visits before I ate voluntarily in Biksha hall.
I cried in Samyama when I was forced to eat kanji.
Since most of Isha are Indians, I had to eat Indian food most of the time. I ate a little out of courtesy.
My greatest fear after BSP was becoming a vegetarian. In fact knowing Sadhguru's power over me I avoided him most in case I was converted.
After four and half year, I turned into eating seafood only. It happens overnight. There were no dilemma, to my amazement and also to others. Everyone knew my karma on food.
Slowly as my attachment to food reduce, my eyesight and connection to nature becomes more consistent.
Osho tarot - Slowing down - Just want to rest
Sept 25 aft
Just received email from sister company to review some agreement. I knew that my ex-boss still values me. I looked and knew that's my ego especially S keep on saying that she can replace me.
Anyway, I will say nope cos there is no professional obligation to do so. No longer want to be caught in the web of ambition.
Was reviewed abridged book of Osho on Freedom and saw this:
When u r free, there is responsibilities. If there is no God, there is tremendous responsibilities. Infact absolute responsibilities because there is no way to unload the responsibility on anyone else.
Freedom is possible only when u r so integrated that u can accept the responsibility of being free.
When I say to u that u r free, I mean that u r a god. Freedom is not license, it is a tremendous discipline.
Soul
So true.
Now that I know I created and expanded my Seven of Hearts....no more saying its God.
It is me.
Its been a tough few months after Z's marriage.
Now I just want to rest a bit.
So this week Osho - What to do card really on the spot.
Slowing Down
The Knight of Rainbows is a reminder that, just like this tortoise, we carry our home with us wherever we go. There is no need to hurry, no need to seek shelter elsewhere. Even as we move into the depths of the emotional waters, we can remain self-contained and free from attachments. It is a time when you are ready to let go of any expectations you have had about yourself or other people, and to take responsibility for any illusions you might have been carrying. There is no need to do anything but rest in the fullness of who you are right now. If desires and hopes and dreams are fading away, so much the better. Their disappearance is making space for a new quality of stillness and acceptance of what is, and you are able to welcome this development in a way you have never been able to before. Savor this quality of slowing down, of coming to rest and recognizing that you are already at home.
Soul
Amen
Just received email from sister company to review some agreement. I knew that my ex-boss still values me. I looked and knew that's my ego especially S keep on saying that she can replace me.
Anyway, I will say nope cos there is no professional obligation to do so. No longer want to be caught in the web of ambition.
Was reviewed abridged book of Osho on Freedom and saw this:
When u r free, there is responsibilities. If there is no God, there is tremendous responsibilities. Infact absolute responsibilities because there is no way to unload the responsibility on anyone else.
Freedom is possible only when u r so integrated that u can accept the responsibility of being free.
When I say to u that u r free, I mean that u r a god. Freedom is not license, it is a tremendous discipline.
Soul
So true.
Now that I know I created and expanded my Seven of Hearts....no more saying its God.
It is me.
Its been a tough few months after Z's marriage.
Now I just want to rest a bit.
So this week Osho - What to do card really on the spot.
Slowing Down
The Knight of Rainbows is a reminder that, just like this tortoise, we carry our home with us wherever we go. There is no need to hurry, no need to seek shelter elsewhere. Even as we move into the depths of the emotional waters, we can remain self-contained and free from attachments. It is a time when you are ready to let go of any expectations you have had about yourself or other people, and to take responsibility for any illusions you might have been carrying. There is no need to do anything but rest in the fullness of who you are right now. If desires and hopes and dreams are fading away, so much the better. Their disappearance is making space for a new quality of stillness and acceptance of what is, and you are able to welcome this development in a way you have never been able to before. Savor this quality of slowing down, of coming to rest and recognizing that you are already at home.
Soul
Amen
Queen of Spades - finally materialising
Sept 25
Woke up middle of night with cough. Had some hot water and slept back. Feels good that I can sleep on. I told my body that I am going to recover.
Woke up at 7.20 am upon alarm. Menses came; so things are flowing.
Surya kriya is lovely. Foot alignment in place. Still not able to put two feet on ground for mountain.
Shakti was fine cos not able to do full Kapala due to menses. Shambavi was good. Lovely Suka kriya. Towards the end I feel I was flying like a bird. I was singing and dancing.
During Surya kriya, I was able to focus so awareness is on. Shakti average. Lost bit during Shambavi on the past. Yes, need to be diligent event if the tots are nice cos they too are not real. Losing awareness over illusion is not smart. Guess on Surya kriya, I know full attention is required cos otherwise be out of alignment. For Shambavi, focus not required. But perhaps that its. It's when we don't require focus that we need to be more alert otherwise we lose awareness very easily. Just like easy to lose in nice pleasurable tots.
Today
Ten of Spades in Mars.
Father, been having power cards of Tens and Eight recently.
Was checking my Blog and noted someone reading Age 42 to 48 Destiny spread written back in Oct 2012.
Long range
Queen of Spades (Self-Mastery)
Queens have their greatest power in the feminine, receptive mode. To truly receive, we must attain that state of mind in which we allow everything to come to us without hesitation. It usually require some inner exploration to achieve this state, and this is something that most of us never do, because it is not taught as part of our culture.
It is the spiritual aspirant who learns to master themselves instead of trying to change external circumstances. And it is those aspirants who experience the real power of the feminine sides of their being, which the Queen of Spades represents.
The Queen of Spades is the second most powerful card in this deck. This is a period when u can accomplish ur dream, but not by the usual approach. This period, all success comes from within u by mastering the causes of all ur exterior events by mastery of urself. By seeing that nothing happens in ur life without ur permission, u reclaim the power to create the world u desire without trying to change others. This could indeed be a period of mastery and accomplishment for u. Recognise the power that u have now and apply it wherever u desire. Look within for ur answers and let that inner knowing help u in all ur external endeavours.
Keywords;
A period of hard work and spiritual 'self mastery'. I master myself and therefore, I master my entire life.
Soul
Very true. Thanks to challenges in facing Z.
Keyword - Nothing happens in my life without my permission.
I was the cause of my Seven of Heart.
I can then undo it.
Woke up middle of night with cough. Had some hot water and slept back. Feels good that I can sleep on. I told my body that I am going to recover.
Woke up at 7.20 am upon alarm. Menses came; so things are flowing.
Surya kriya is lovely. Foot alignment in place. Still not able to put two feet on ground for mountain.
Shakti was fine cos not able to do full Kapala due to menses. Shambavi was good. Lovely Suka kriya. Towards the end I feel I was flying like a bird. I was singing and dancing.
During Surya kriya, I was able to focus so awareness is on. Shakti average. Lost bit during Shambavi on the past. Yes, need to be diligent event if the tots are nice cos they too are not real. Losing awareness over illusion is not smart. Guess on Surya kriya, I know full attention is required cos otherwise be out of alignment. For Shambavi, focus not required. But perhaps that its. It's when we don't require focus that we need to be more alert otherwise we lose awareness very easily. Just like easy to lose in nice pleasurable tots.
Today
Ten of Spades in Mars.
Father, been having power cards of Tens and Eight recently.
Was checking my Blog and noted someone reading Age 42 to 48 Destiny spread written back in Oct 2012.
Long range
Queen of Spades (Self-Mastery)
Queens have their greatest power in the feminine, receptive mode. To truly receive, we must attain that state of mind in which we allow everything to come to us without hesitation. It usually require some inner exploration to achieve this state, and this is something that most of us never do, because it is not taught as part of our culture.
It is the spiritual aspirant who learns to master themselves instead of trying to change external circumstances. And it is those aspirants who experience the real power of the feminine sides of their being, which the Queen of Spades represents.
The Queen of Spades is the second most powerful card in this deck. This is a period when u can accomplish ur dream, but not by the usual approach. This period, all success comes from within u by mastering the causes of all ur exterior events by mastery of urself. By seeing that nothing happens in ur life without ur permission, u reclaim the power to create the world u desire without trying to change others. This could indeed be a period of mastery and accomplishment for u. Recognise the power that u have now and apply it wherever u desire. Look within for ur answers and let that inner knowing help u in all ur external endeavours.
Keywords;
A period of hard work and spiritual 'self mastery'. I master myself and therefore, I master my entire life.
Soul
Very true. Thanks to challenges in facing Z.
Keyword - Nothing happens in my life without my permission.
I was the cause of my Seven of Heart.
I can then undo it.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Since there is no certainty of over things, definitely no certainty over people - Osho
Sept 24 aft 1
Was doing abridged book on Osho - Freedom and got this
A single person dropping the old structure of the mind creates such a great space for many to transform their lives that is incredible, unimaginable, unbelievable. A single person transforming himself becomes a trigger; then many more start changing. His presence becomes a catalytic agent.
Soul
I may be arrogant, but I tot it refers to me too :)
Sept 24 eve
Did Shoonya, not so easy to go in. Samyama was good. Just full awareness. Nice.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Since there is no certainty even over things, how can there be mastery over living individual.
One who is the witness drops all kinds of mastery, because he has become his own master.
The mastery can be, it becomes his; the mastery that cannot be - he does not bother to fall into that madness. In such state, he drops bothering about society; he drops it because now there is no control over him, he is his own controller. Now he can walk on his own two feet, walk in his own light, now he does not need any borrowed light anymore.
Soul
True self mastery. My dream.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Not only does he stop following others, but, as the realisation of the witness deepens, he drops the slavery of the body too. He does not do things because the body is saying so; now he does what he wants to and the body follows him like a shadow.
Soul
This is beyond me. Mastery over the mind is all I can dream of. And with the mind, at least I can keep body healthy. That's all.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Many times you will feel the mind is gone for good, and it will be back again. U will get glimpses. Even if it disappear for only a little time, u will have a small glimpse of beyond the mind. But this does not last long.
A yogi becomes the enlightened one, when the mind is annihilated. The mind is annihilated when one experiences that "I am not even a soul".
As long as I feel that "True, I am not the body, I am not the mind, but I am the soul", as long as there is any support left for my "I", my mind will survive in its seed form.
Soul
This is beyond me. Not this lifetime.
At least I know the spiral. So only thing can do is to establish Awareness.
Was doing abridged book on Osho - Freedom and got this
A single person dropping the old structure of the mind creates such a great space for many to transform their lives that is incredible, unimaginable, unbelievable. A single person transforming himself becomes a trigger; then many more start changing. His presence becomes a catalytic agent.
Soul
I may be arrogant, but I tot it refers to me too :)
Sept 24 eve
Did Shoonya, not so easy to go in. Samyama was good. Just full awareness. Nice.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Since there is no certainty even over things, how can there be mastery over living individual.
One who is the witness drops all kinds of mastery, because he has become his own master.
The mastery can be, it becomes his; the mastery that cannot be - he does not bother to fall into that madness. In such state, he drops bothering about society; he drops it because now there is no control over him, he is his own controller. Now he can walk on his own two feet, walk in his own light, now he does not need any borrowed light anymore.
Soul
True self mastery. My dream.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Not only does he stop following others, but, as the realisation of the witness deepens, he drops the slavery of the body too. He does not do things because the body is saying so; now he does what he wants to and the body follows him like a shadow.
Soul
This is beyond me. Mastery over the mind is all I can dream of. And with the mind, at least I can keep body healthy. That's all.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Many times you will feel the mind is gone for good, and it will be back again. U will get glimpses. Even if it disappear for only a little time, u will have a small glimpse of beyond the mind. But this does not last long.
A yogi becomes the enlightened one, when the mind is annihilated. The mind is annihilated when one experiences that "I am not even a soul".
As long as I feel that "True, I am not the body, I am not the mind, but I am the soul", as long as there is any support left for my "I", my mind will survive in its seed form.
Soul
This is beyond me. Not this lifetime.
At least I know the spiral. So only thing can do is to establish Awareness.
Challenges are crossroads where we have to make changes - A.H. Almaas (Diamond Heart)
Sept 24 aft
Had a chat with my boss. She too think that the response from client is off putting. She said she was so angry that she drafted a reply but stopped herself last minute.
I did reply the mail and now client came back less 'attacking', just said that I am not so tactful as compared to earlier being not polite.
This time around my boss answered and asked point blank "what is about the mail that make him react"
Was doing the abridged book, Diamond Hearts and read this.
In our Work, each of us will encounter challenges; we will arrive at crossroads where we have to make changes. These challenges and crossroads will help us to develop. They will enable us to realise the life of truth. The more of those challenges we have, the more chances we have to realise the true perspective.
Sufi says; "If there is a misfortune, u should be grateful for it", because it gives you a chance to face choices between your self and the truth, a chance for u to follow the right course.
Diamond Heart.
If u really accept that u could lose everything, after a while, u realise that all the things u have given up do not truly exist in the way u thought.
Soul
I first lost my ambition for career advancement.
I lost my needed security for money
I reduce my need for validation from friends
I lost my need for meat
I tot I would lose myself if I lost all the above. Turns out it is not true. I am feeling much better and at ease.
I experienced a major challenge of romantic relationship for the last 1 year; a break up that was difficult to accept.
In the last few months, I have come to know myself more, to know that I had not set parameters for romantic relationships resulting in attracting of wrong partners. The wrong partners can't or won't love me. I further interpret that I was unlovable. Since I was not confident, I set even lower parameters and continue to attract the wrong partners that further affirm my wrong interpretation that I was unlovable. A vicious cycle.
I finally dissolved the lifetime challenge of Seven of Hearts and Seven of Clubs
Amen
Had a chat with my boss. She too think that the response from client is off putting. She said she was so angry that she drafted a reply but stopped herself last minute.
I did reply the mail and now client came back less 'attacking', just said that I am not so tactful as compared to earlier being not polite.
This time around my boss answered and asked point blank "what is about the mail that make him react"
Was doing the abridged book, Diamond Hearts and read this.
In our Work, each of us will encounter challenges; we will arrive at crossroads where we have to make changes. These challenges and crossroads will help us to develop. They will enable us to realise the life of truth. The more of those challenges we have, the more chances we have to realise the true perspective.
Sufi says; "If there is a misfortune, u should be grateful for it", because it gives you a chance to face choices between your self and the truth, a chance for u to follow the right course.
Diamond Heart.
If u really accept that u could lose everything, after a while, u realise that all the things u have given up do not truly exist in the way u thought.
Soul
I first lost my ambition for career advancement.
I lost my needed security for money
I reduce my need for validation from friends
I lost my need for meat
I tot I would lose myself if I lost all the above. Turns out it is not true. I am feeling much better and at ease.
I experienced a major challenge of romantic relationship for the last 1 year; a break up that was difficult to accept.
In the last few months, I have come to know myself more, to know that I had not set parameters for romantic relationships resulting in attracting of wrong partners. The wrong partners can't or won't love me. I further interpret that I was unlovable. Since I was not confident, I set even lower parameters and continue to attract the wrong partners that further affirm my wrong interpretation that I was unlovable. A vicious cycle.
I finally dissolved the lifetime challenge of Seven of Hearts and Seven of Clubs
Amen
To be a witness is to be your own master in this world - Osho
Sept 24 morn 1
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
Such a man who becomes witness, stops following society, culture, civilisation, the people around u, the crowd.
The one who has experienced his own being, the one who has experienced his witnessing is his own master in this world.
Soul
That's my Rebel card under Internal influence.
He has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colours of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly in the sky.
The first thing I did last week was not to see doctor. I managed to cure myself of flu. But because I ate too much herbal drinks that are 'cold' I got cold cough instead.
These days I can ignore and counter my tots. I no longer let it run wild. I can see the tots and act on it.
Father, my auto control on emotions is now used to manage my tots instead.
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
It is interesting that one who drops all mastery over everything becomes his own master; and the one who goes on accumulating all kinds of mastery, he only indicates that he has no mastery over his own self yet.
This means one who is busy making efforts to have more houses, more land, a kingdom, this and that - one thing is certain, that he does not yet belong to himself because, to one who acquire his inner kingdom, all other kingdoms become insipid and worthless.
There is no mastery inside, so by gaining mastery over things he is trying to convince himself that he is master. The mastery is false, because nobody is ever a master of things in this world.
Whenever a person starts experiencing the witness, he becomes his own master. His desire for mastery drops; he no longer wants to become master of anybody or anything else, because now he knows that there is simply no way he can become a master of the other.
Soul
Yes. I know.
Today card
Ten of Diamonds in Venus.
Yesterday was Ten of Clubs in Mercury.
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
Such a man who becomes witness, stops following society, culture, civilisation, the people around u, the crowd.
The one who has experienced his own being, the one who has experienced his witnessing is his own master in this world.
Soul
That's my Rebel card under Internal influence.
He has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colours of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly in the sky.
The first thing I did last week was not to see doctor. I managed to cure myself of flu. But because I ate too much herbal drinks that are 'cold' I got cold cough instead.
These days I can ignore and counter my tots. I no longer let it run wild. I can see the tots and act on it.
Father, my auto control on emotions is now used to manage my tots instead.
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
It is interesting that one who drops all mastery over everything becomes his own master; and the one who goes on accumulating all kinds of mastery, he only indicates that he has no mastery over his own self yet.
This means one who is busy making efforts to have more houses, more land, a kingdom, this and that - one thing is certain, that he does not yet belong to himself because, to one who acquire his inner kingdom, all other kingdoms become insipid and worthless.
There is no mastery inside, so by gaining mastery over things he is trying to convince himself that he is master. The mastery is false, because nobody is ever a master of things in this world.
Whenever a person starts experiencing the witness, he becomes his own master. His desire for mastery drops; he no longer wants to become master of anybody or anything else, because now he knows that there is simply no way he can become a master of the other.
Soul
Yes. I know.
Today card
Ten of Diamonds in Venus.
Yesterday was Ten of Clubs in Mercury.
Witness - from where the awareness arises, and where is shoots away..
Sept 24
Had a great sleep as medication stopped the coughing. But woke up around 2.40 am by coughing. Try to sleep back but coughing was persistent. Will have to take medicine later tomorrow. Accidentally switched off my 4.20 am alarm. I recalled I finally managed to sleep much later, feels good. Woke up by motor noise and I knew it is late, checked the clock it was 5.40 am.
Did Shakti and quick Shambavi. After guru pooja went into Shakti. Can go into meditation mode much easily. Tots comes in but I focus back on my practices. Not that easy cos the tots are not hurtful; just events.
Shambavi was good. Would love to do full preparatory steps. These days I like the cat stretch cos I focus on splitting the body. Suka kriya also I truly enjoy now. Towards the end just silence. Unexpectedly body went into arda Siddharna posture.
Mind still not up totally due to medicine. But I m looking forward to recovery.
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
Now if u can do this thing - u see someone beautiful, ur awareness is drawn there. If, in that same moment, u can be aware of the bow within from where this arrow has been shot, if u can simultaneously see them both - the source from where the awareness is shooting forth and the object to which the awareness is going - if they can come both to ur attention simultaneously, then u will experience for the first time what it meant to be by witness. From where the awareness arises, from where the awareness shoots away - that source has to be found.
Achieving awareness of the second aspect is difficult. If u can manage it, becoming aware of the third aspect is easy.
The first two are the object and the subject and the third point is the witness of these two, the experiencer of these two, the seer of these two.
Soul
Samyama is listening to my breathe and concurrently listening to my mind. The third aspect is me who is listening to both.
Isha kriya states that I m not my body (breathe) and I m not even my mind (tots).
Samyama is I m watching my breathe so that means I m not my breathe and I m watching my tots so that means I m not my mind.
Samyama is the practical application of Isha Kriya.
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
The seeker having experienced that 'I am the witness', never the doer, never the indulger - drops the feeling of 'mineness' and the desire over everything. He goes on receding within to that point beyond which it is not possible to recede anymore.
Soul
Desire here means ownership/possession/us.
Desire is not about enjoyment.
My body is feeling sick. My mind has tots and said we should rest But there is a part of me that is able to see both and decide what's best. I no longer see my tots as what I truly want and I don't always follow.
Had a great sleep as medication stopped the coughing. But woke up around 2.40 am by coughing. Try to sleep back but coughing was persistent. Will have to take medicine later tomorrow. Accidentally switched off my 4.20 am alarm. I recalled I finally managed to sleep much later, feels good. Woke up by motor noise and I knew it is late, checked the clock it was 5.40 am.
Did Shakti and quick Shambavi. After guru pooja went into Shakti. Can go into meditation mode much easily. Tots comes in but I focus back on my practices. Not that easy cos the tots are not hurtful; just events.
Shambavi was good. Would love to do full preparatory steps. These days I like the cat stretch cos I focus on splitting the body. Suka kriya also I truly enjoy now. Towards the end just silence. Unexpectedly body went into arda Siddharna posture.
Mind still not up totally due to medicine. But I m looking forward to recovery.
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
Now if u can do this thing - u see someone beautiful, ur awareness is drawn there. If, in that same moment, u can be aware of the bow within from where this arrow has been shot, if u can simultaneously see them both - the source from where the awareness is shooting forth and the object to which the awareness is going - if they can come both to ur attention simultaneously, then u will experience for the first time what it meant to be by witness. From where the awareness arises, from where the awareness shoots away - that source has to be found.
Achieving awareness of the second aspect is difficult. If u can manage it, becoming aware of the third aspect is easy.
The first two are the object and the subject and the third point is the witness of these two, the experiencer of these two, the seer of these two.
Soul
Samyama is listening to my breathe and concurrently listening to my mind. The third aspect is me who is listening to both.
Isha kriya states that I m not my body (breathe) and I m not even my mind (tots).
Samyama is I m watching my breathe so that means I m not my breathe and I m watching my tots so that means I m not my mind.
Samyama is the practical application of Isha Kriya.
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
The seeker having experienced that 'I am the witness', never the doer, never the indulger - drops the feeling of 'mineness' and the desire over everything. He goes on receding within to that point beyond which it is not possible to recede anymore.
Soul
Desire here means ownership/possession/us.
Desire is not about enjoyment.
My body is feeling sick. My mind has tots and said we should rest But there is a part of me that is able to see both and decide what's best. I no longer see my tots as what I truly want and I don't always follow.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Osho - explain witness
Sept 23 eve
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
It is not difficult to understand the meaning of the word witness, but it is a complex thing in actual practice.
Our mind is like an arrow, sharpened at one end. U may have seen an arrow, it cannot be shot from both its ends, an arrow will only go in one direction. It can't travel in opposite directions simultaneously, it will go only towards its target in one direction.
So when the arrow is on the bow and then it is shot, there are two aspects to be considered - when it leaves the bow on which it was set, it begins to move away from it; and it begins to come closer towards the target, where it was not earlier.
That is what we are doing with our awareness the whole time. Whenever the arrow of our awareness leaves us, the bow within becomes vacant and the arrow, on reaching the diamond, pierces its heart. Now ur awareness is with the diamonds and no longer with u. Now the awareness is somewhere else. So, all the arrows of ur awareness have reached out and pierced somewhere else - and somewhere else, and somewhere else. U have no awareness within u any more, it is always going out.
An arrow can go only in one direction, but awareness can be bi-directional - and when that happens the witness is experienced. The arrow of awareness can go in both directions.
Soul
Samyama - focus on both breathe and tots concurrently.
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
It is not difficult to understand the meaning of the word witness, but it is a complex thing in actual practice.
Our mind is like an arrow, sharpened at one end. U may have seen an arrow, it cannot be shot from both its ends, an arrow will only go in one direction. It can't travel in opposite directions simultaneously, it will go only towards its target in one direction.
So when the arrow is on the bow and then it is shot, there are two aspects to be considered - when it leaves the bow on which it was set, it begins to move away from it; and it begins to come closer towards the target, where it was not earlier.
That is what we are doing with our awareness the whole time. Whenever the arrow of our awareness leaves us, the bow within becomes vacant and the arrow, on reaching the diamond, pierces its heart. Now ur awareness is with the diamonds and no longer with u. Now the awareness is somewhere else. So, all the arrows of ur awareness have reached out and pierced somewhere else - and somewhere else, and somewhere else. U have no awareness within u any more, it is always going out.
An arrow can go only in one direction, but awareness can be bi-directional - and when that happens the witness is experienced. The arrow of awareness can go in both directions.
Soul
Samyama - focus on both breathe and tots concurrently.
Osho - spirituality is the experiencer
Sept 23 aft
Father, just received a reply from a client. I m surprised that he found the mail impolite. I sympathise with what the team has to go through.
Anyway will only reply tomorrow.
I can also see the client has loads of fears as simple mail can made him feel defensive.
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
The longing for worldly things arises due to their distance and due to their challenge and calling. The longing for God arises from the failure of worldly things.
Eyes are also a kind of spectacles. The colour of the spectacles gets projected on to the objects seen. All ur senses are projecting. U r creating a world all around u - a beauty, a fragrance, of this, of that.
This world is not as u see it. It is dependent on u. If u change, the world also changed.
Projections are illusions. When u have no emotions or desires to project, then seeing happens. Deception happens because of the thirst.
We see everything but we are not able to see ourselves. And we will never able to do so. Whatsoever u see, know well that it is not u. Whatever u are able to see is not u. Whatsoever has been experienced, u r not that. U r that which experiences.
So whatsoever ur experience, u r beyond it. Therefore spirituality is not an experience. Everything in the world is an experience but no spirituality.
Spirituality is reaching towards that which experiences all, but which it itself never becomes an experience. It always the experiencer, the witness, the seer.
The search for this witness is spirituality.
Soul
Wow. Something here. But I m at that level yet.
On the witness - Samyama is the key.
Today me not at top form with the medication. Of late after the past is over. I find my awareness not as strong. Last time I guard to disallow tots of past to come in. Now I don't stand guard, the clouds of tots are building. And at times I just hooked myself unnecessarily.
I want to go to the next stage. To be able to be on full awareness even if the cloud of tots are not hurting.
Just know the clouds of work came and I got bit affected. An hour later I clear my mind and drafted a good mail.
Father, I managed to overcome the past. I want to be able to overcome the mundane too.
Guide me further.
Father, just received a reply from a client. I m surprised that he found the mail impolite. I sympathise with what the team has to go through.
Anyway will only reply tomorrow.
I can also see the client has loads of fears as simple mail can made him feel defensive.
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
The longing for worldly things arises due to their distance and due to their challenge and calling. The longing for God arises from the failure of worldly things.
Eyes are also a kind of spectacles. The colour of the spectacles gets projected on to the objects seen. All ur senses are projecting. U r creating a world all around u - a beauty, a fragrance, of this, of that.
This world is not as u see it. It is dependent on u. If u change, the world also changed.
Projections are illusions. When u have no emotions or desires to project, then seeing happens. Deception happens because of the thirst.
We see everything but we are not able to see ourselves. And we will never able to do so. Whatsoever u see, know well that it is not u. Whatever u are able to see is not u. Whatsoever has been experienced, u r not that. U r that which experiences.
So whatsoever ur experience, u r beyond it. Therefore spirituality is not an experience. Everything in the world is an experience but no spirituality.
Spirituality is reaching towards that which experiences all, but which it itself never becomes an experience. It always the experiencer, the witness, the seer.
The search for this witness is spirituality.
Soul
Wow. Something here. But I m at that level yet.
On the witness - Samyama is the key.
Today me not at top form with the medication. Of late after the past is over. I find my awareness not as strong. Last time I guard to disallow tots of past to come in. Now I don't stand guard, the clouds of tots are building. And at times I just hooked myself unnecessarily.
I want to go to the next stage. To be able to be on full awareness even if the cloud of tots are not hurting.
Just know the clouds of work came and I got bit affected. An hour later I clear my mind and drafted a good mail.
Father, I managed to overcome the past. I want to be able to overcome the mundane too.
Guide me further.
Trees still looks good despite me falling sick
Sept 23
Hardly sleep yesterday cos had bad cough. Woke up intermittently. The surprising thing was I wasn't tired. But I knew I cannot have another night of non sleep, so got to see doctor.
Wake up 7.40 am and finished my practices by 9.15 am.
Just did a short breathing, followed by Shakti. Shakti was good, little cough and Kapala Bhakti was great. Shambavi was good too. Truly love the preparatory steps and also Suka Kriya too. Heads was shaking during aum chanting. Towards the end just contentment.
There were tots of office but no longer any tots of the past. But I now know even if the other miscellaneous tots doesn't hurt me I need to be aware cos I be carried along.
As I came out of house walking to the doctor clinic, trees looks so lovely, so alive.
Hardly sleep yesterday cos had bad cough. Woke up intermittently. The surprising thing was I wasn't tired. But I knew I cannot have another night of non sleep, so got to see doctor.
Wake up 7.40 am and finished my practices by 9.15 am.
Just did a short breathing, followed by Shakti. Shakti was good, little cough and Kapala Bhakti was great. Shambavi was good too. Truly love the preparatory steps and also Suka Kriya too. Heads was shaking during aum chanting. Towards the end just contentment.
There were tots of office but no longer any tots of the past. But I now know even if the other miscellaneous tots doesn't hurt me I need to be aware cos I be carried along.
As I came out of house walking to the doctor clinic, trees looks so lovely, so alive.
Prayer - Guru Pooja
Sept 22 eve 1
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
The journey of religion has begun with prayerfulness. It has to be so. Prayer means trust and hope. Prayer means our feeling of being one with the whole universe. Prayer means, "How would I be able to manage alone?"
Alone, u could not even manage the world; would this great journey of truth be possible by yourself alone? By urself, u r defeated even in the world. The world is a long story of defeats.
Prayer means the realisation of a person who has been defeated in the world. When, even after trying life after life, he has been defeated in the mundane, what capability can he claims in matters of the scarred and the absolute?
Hence the prayer. Hence the seer has invoked the whole universe to help him.
Soul
True. I started the inner journey cos I was defeated by the world; defeated by my own mind, defeated by my unconsciousness that sabotage my life.
And u have always asked for help from Universe. Many masters has came and share their lights with me.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
The prayer is only a device. The prayer does not change the universe, but u. And the moment u change, u enter into another world. The whole outcome of prayer is u.
How intensely u called will create an equally deep intensity within u. If ur whole being calls out, u will become a totally different person. That is what prayer is for.
Soul
I did guru pooja about three and half years ago. It broke me down. For two weeks I cried non stops when I sang guru pooja. I broke down on Karpura Gauram, no idea why.
After two weeks of relentless crying I asked Vijii what I need to do in order to stop crying. The answer was Shoonya. I immediately said yes and no more cries after that.
So Guru pooja got me deeper into Isha I joined Shoonya. Out of Shoonya I joined Hata Yoga cos I fell in love with Suria Namaskara.
Father, bought this book back in Dec 2012. This is the best time to read. All the pages jumped out to me.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
The journey of religion has begun with prayerfulness. It has to be so. Prayer means trust and hope. Prayer means our feeling of being one with the whole universe. Prayer means, "How would I be able to manage alone?"
Alone, u could not even manage the world; would this great journey of truth be possible by yourself alone? By urself, u r defeated even in the world. The world is a long story of defeats.
Prayer means the realisation of a person who has been defeated in the world. When, even after trying life after life, he has been defeated in the mundane, what capability can he claims in matters of the scarred and the absolute?
Hence the prayer. Hence the seer has invoked the whole universe to help him.
Soul
True. I started the inner journey cos I was defeated by the world; defeated by my own mind, defeated by my unconsciousness that sabotage my life.
And u have always asked for help from Universe. Many masters has came and share their lights with me.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
The prayer is only a device. The prayer does not change the universe, but u. And the moment u change, u enter into another world. The whole outcome of prayer is u.
How intensely u called will create an equally deep intensity within u. If ur whole being calls out, u will become a totally different person. That is what prayer is for.
Soul
I did guru pooja about three and half years ago. It broke me down. For two weeks I cried non stops when I sang guru pooja. I broke down on Karpura Gauram, no idea why.
After two weeks of relentless crying I asked Vijii what I need to do in order to stop crying. The answer was Shoonya. I immediately said yes and no more cries after that.
So Guru pooja got me deeper into Isha I joined Shoonya. Out of Shoonya I joined Hata Yoga cos I fell in love with Suria Namaskara.
Father, bought this book back in Dec 2012. This is the best time to read. All the pages jumped out to me.
My blog - very intimate and very inner
Sept 22 eve.
Had a lovely time in family gathering.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
In Upanishad there is no pleasure of giving advice or guidance; rather there is great pain, because what the seer of this Upanishad is giving, he is giving after having known it. He is sharing something very intimate, very inner.
Soul
I may think big; but when I read this I tot of my blog whereby I share my inner journey. I tot of my stories in www.joyong.org which comprise of learnings I have undertaken. Every story is hard won truth from pain that i suffered. In my inner journey by overcoming suffering I gain insights for myself and I shared with others. I used to be afraid to share cos the journey is private and inner. It took me a few years before I come out of the shelf and combined my blog to website.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
Nothing is understood by listening. By listening we only close our fists on words. Not by listening but by doing - one understands. So listen in order to find a way of doing, not for understanding. Do not come to the conclusion that just by listening u have understood; that intermediary link of doing is necessary. There is no other way.
Soul
Exactly. I am an applicator. When I read; I m looking for new knowledge but I m looking for answer to my self. I am looking for solution. When I relate to the answer, I act on it.
That's why I see my books as tools. Whatever insights and applications made from the books I read is written in Suggested Readings in www,joyong.org. I have also included excerpt of the books that are meaningful to me. I hope others can relate and get the book and find their own answers.
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
Destinations are reached by moving towards them. U may have understood everything; the whole route of ur journey may have been memorised by u; u may have a detailed map in ur pocket; still without moving, no one ever comes to his destination.
Soul
True. Some of my friends never move. And instead of seeing that they didnt move; they judge me for moving incorrectly.
Had a lovely time in family gathering.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
In Upanishad there is no pleasure of giving advice or guidance; rather there is great pain, because what the seer of this Upanishad is giving, he is giving after having known it. He is sharing something very intimate, very inner.
Soul
I may think big; but when I read this I tot of my blog whereby I share my inner journey. I tot of my stories in www.joyong.org which comprise of learnings I have undertaken. Every story is hard won truth from pain that i suffered. In my inner journey by overcoming suffering I gain insights for myself and I shared with others. I used to be afraid to share cos the journey is private and inner. It took me a few years before I come out of the shelf and combined my blog to website.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
Nothing is understood by listening. By listening we only close our fists on words. Not by listening but by doing - one understands. So listen in order to find a way of doing, not for understanding. Do not come to the conclusion that just by listening u have understood; that intermediary link of doing is necessary. There is no other way.
Soul
Exactly. I am an applicator. When I read; I m looking for new knowledge but I m looking for answer to my self. I am looking for solution. When I relate to the answer, I act on it.
That's why I see my books as tools. Whatever insights and applications made from the books I read is written in Suggested Readings in www,joyong.org. I have also included excerpt of the books that are meaningful to me. I hope others can relate and get the book and find their own answers.
Osho Adhyatma Upanishad
Destinations are reached by moving towards them. U may have understood everything; the whole route of ur journey may have been memorised by u; u may have a detailed map in ur pocket; still without moving, no one ever comes to his destination.
Soul
True. Some of my friends never move. And instead of seeing that they didnt move; they judge me for moving incorrectly.
Spiritual path - Curiousity, Inquisitive, Liberation
Sept 22 aft
Just did 2 stories today. I think I can finally compile volume 5.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
Some people move only with curiosity. They do not ask in order to know, they ask because they cannot remain without asking. Those who are living out of curiosity are still childish. The child's fun lies in asking. Even if u give him a reply he is not interested in it.
Soul
Yea, I knew someone like that. These days I no longer answer cos I realised she just asked for the sake of asking. She doesn't want to know and I m not willing to waste time.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
Some people move a little ahead of curiosity and become inquisitive. There is a little more depth in inquisitiveness, but only a little more, for it is only intellectual, a mental exercise. If belief in God or lack of belief does not bring about any change in one's life, it only means it has no relation to God. He goes on contemplating and asking but there will be no journey at all.
Remember, whatever is to be born in this world needs a deep silence, solitude and darkness. Those things that are kept in the mind are kept in open light. Sprouting is not possible there. The heart is the wet soil hidden within u. There, something can sprout.
Therefore those who lives only in inquisitiveness become scholars and pundits; knowledgeable, but nothing sprouts within them - no birth, no new life, no new flowers, nothing at all.
Soul
I know some.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
There is one more dimension of seeking: we call it mumuksha, a deep longing for liberation. Here, there is no concern for knowing, just being. The question is not whether there is God or not, the question is whether I can be God. There may be a God but if I cannot become God then there is no point at all. The question is not whether there is any liberation, the question is whether I can be liberated.
Soul
For me is to liberate myself from my fears. I m not seeking liberation from being a human or etc. I m looking for life beyond. I m not looking for God. I m just looking for myself. I don't care about what cannot be experienced by me. I am not looking for enlightenment. I just want to be a master of myself
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
Experiences do not belong to anyone; whosoever is ready to receive them, they come to him. Nobody has any right over truth, whosoever is willing to disappear, inherits it. Truth belongs to the one who shows the readiness to ask for it.
Soul
True. I always question my path if it results in transformation. I can see it the last one year after the meet with Sadhguru about one year ago when I finally accepted him.
Just did 2 stories today. I think I can finally compile volume 5.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
Some people move only with curiosity. They do not ask in order to know, they ask because they cannot remain without asking. Those who are living out of curiosity are still childish. The child's fun lies in asking. Even if u give him a reply he is not interested in it.
Soul
Yea, I knew someone like that. These days I no longer answer cos I realised she just asked for the sake of asking. She doesn't want to know and I m not willing to waste time.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
Some people move a little ahead of curiosity and become inquisitive. There is a little more depth in inquisitiveness, but only a little more, for it is only intellectual, a mental exercise. If belief in God or lack of belief does not bring about any change in one's life, it only means it has no relation to God. He goes on contemplating and asking but there will be no journey at all.
Remember, whatever is to be born in this world needs a deep silence, solitude and darkness. Those things that are kept in the mind are kept in open light. Sprouting is not possible there. The heart is the wet soil hidden within u. There, something can sprout.
Therefore those who lives only in inquisitiveness become scholars and pundits; knowledgeable, but nothing sprouts within them - no birth, no new life, no new flowers, nothing at all.
Soul
I know some.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
There is one more dimension of seeking: we call it mumuksha, a deep longing for liberation. Here, there is no concern for knowing, just being. The question is not whether there is God or not, the question is whether I can be God. There may be a God but if I cannot become God then there is no point at all. The question is not whether there is any liberation, the question is whether I can be liberated.
Soul
For me is to liberate myself from my fears. I m not seeking liberation from being a human or etc. I m looking for life beyond. I m not looking for God. I m just looking for myself. I don't care about what cannot be experienced by me. I am not looking for enlightenment. I just want to be a master of myself
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
Experiences do not belong to anyone; whosoever is ready to receive them, they come to him. Nobody has any right over truth, whosoever is willing to disappear, inherits it. Truth belongs to the one who shows the readiness to ask for it.
Soul
True. I always question my path if it results in transformation. I can see it the last one year after the meet with Sadhguru about one year ago when I finally accepted him.
Savouring nature
Sept 22 morn
Slept around 1 am yesterday. Woke up around 2 plus and 4 plus due to coughing.
It doesn't seem to get better.
This morning wake up at 6.45 am for my walk. I recalled I said an hour ago, finally I can sleep. I tot I will be very tired due to lack of sleep. Surprisingly I am awake and ready for my walk.
Went into the park, just walking and looking at the beauty of the nature. Just feeling them. Three cycles pass very fast. To my surprise I was not really tired at all. My mom said I walked slowly. Possibly cos I just want to savour my time with nature. Not much tots and hardly anything on the past.
Today I draw Eight of Heart. Been awhile...
The Eight of Hearts
The Eight of Hearts is a card of considerable emotional power, charm and personal magnetism. This power could be used to bring you success in any activities that deal with groups of people such as acting or sales work. It is also an indicator of having healing energy, a 'spiritual force' gathering in you, a force you can use to better your life in many ways. When this card is present, this power is available to use at your discretion.
The Eight of Hearts will give you the power to get your way with people, both personally and professionally. It can bring you more social fun, better intimate relationships or more success in your business.
Soul
I like to interpret as the spiritual force gathering in me, and I am using it to better my life in many ways. Amen.
Slept around 1 am yesterday. Woke up around 2 plus and 4 plus due to coughing.
It doesn't seem to get better.
This morning wake up at 6.45 am for my walk. I recalled I said an hour ago, finally I can sleep. I tot I will be very tired due to lack of sleep. Surprisingly I am awake and ready for my walk.
Went into the park, just walking and looking at the beauty of the nature. Just feeling them. Three cycles pass very fast. To my surprise I was not really tired at all. My mom said I walked slowly. Possibly cos I just want to savour my time with nature. Not much tots and hardly anything on the past.
Today I draw Eight of Heart. Been awhile...
The Eight of Hearts
The Eight of Hearts is a card of considerable emotional power, charm and personal magnetism. This power could be used to bring you success in any activities that deal with groups of people such as acting or sales work. It is also an indicator of having healing energy, a 'spiritual force' gathering in you, a force you can use to better your life in many ways. When this card is present, this power is available to use at your discretion.
The Eight of Hearts will give you the power to get your way with people, both personally and professionally. It can bring you more social fun, better intimate relationships or more success in your business.
Soul
I like to interpret as the spiritual force gathering in me, and I am using it to better my life in many ways. Amen.
Opening up to Sadhguru and Dhynalinga
Sept 22
I just continued reading Osho and suddenly I cried again. Then followed by laughter. My eyes all red but I feel light.
Now I realised why I exploded into massive cries when I met Sadhguru in Public talk in 2011. And why I cried whenever he said its time we liberate ourselves.
I cried because I can't open myself, I can't release my resistance. I can't make myself vulnerable.
Such irony only when I make myself vulnerable to Z despite losing him, I can then be vulnerable to public by combining website and blog together.
I then opened up to Sadhguru. When I met Sadhguru in mid 2012, Z had broken up with me the first time.
Truly never expects this breakthrough. Amen.
Alas this week Osho Internal influence tarot card is brought out.
The Rebel
The powerful and authoritative figure in this card is clearly the master of his own destiny. On his shoulder is an emblem of the sun, and the torch he holds in his right hand symbolizes the light of his own hard-won truth. Whether he is wealthy or poor, the Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colors of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky. His very way of being is rebellious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything, but because he has discovered his own true nature and is determined to live in accordance with it. The eagle is his spirit animal, a messenger between earth and sky. The Rebel challenges us to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and to live our truth.
Soul
So true. I found my own hard-won truth.
I will live my way.
I just continued reading Osho and suddenly I cried again. Then followed by laughter. My eyes all red but I feel light.
Now I realised why I exploded into massive cries when I met Sadhguru in Public talk in 2011. And why I cried whenever he said its time we liberate ourselves.
I cried because I can't open myself, I can't release my resistance. I can't make myself vulnerable.
Such irony only when I make myself vulnerable to Z despite losing him, I can then be vulnerable to public by combining website and blog together.
I then opened up to Sadhguru. When I met Sadhguru in mid 2012, Z had broken up with me the first time.
Truly never expects this breakthrough. Amen.
Alas this week Osho Internal influence tarot card is brought out.
The Rebel
The powerful and authoritative figure in this card is clearly the master of his own destiny. On his shoulder is an emblem of the sun, and the torch he holds in his right hand symbolizes the light of his own hard-won truth. Whether he is wealthy or poor, the Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colors of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky. His very way of being is rebellious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything, but because he has discovered his own true nature and is determined to live in accordance with it. The eagle is his spirit animal, a messenger between earth and sky. The Rebel challenges us to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and to live our truth.
Soul
So true. I found my own hard-won truth.
I will live my way.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
My Truth flashed in front of me...what is my bad..is also my good
Sept 21 eve 3
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
Nobody can put u right except u urself.
The master teaches u to be a master of urself - that is the true function of a master. He does not want u to depend on him. But the mind wants u to depend.
One who is not ready to stake his very life will never be able to know the hidden mysteries of life. Religion are for those who are ready to enter into the impossible.
In this world, everything can be given to u by force; only truth cannot, because truth can never become slavery. The very nature of truth is freedom.
Only ur willingness, ur openness, ur receptivity, ur invitation, ur heart full of gratitude.
Soul
Ruling card Ace of Diamonds has little values and is always open; that's why vulnerable in this outer world. But in the inner world, I m like a great sponge. That's true also for my North node in Taurus.
Father, two side to a coin. My low valuation hurts me in outer world but liberates me in inner world.
I have been setting parameter on inner world but not outer world. Only when I dropped some parameters on food and Sadhguru that I can see my issue of no parameters in outside world.
Father, it is me again.
Suddenly I understand what Sadhguru meant by dissolving likes and dislikes. They are parameters we set either consciously or unconsciously.
The parameter we sets against everything relationship, either inner or outer determines the outcome.
In inner world, being able to be open, ie zero parameter is the key to receiving.
In the outer world, we need to set the right parameters accordingly so it won't affect our inner world.
So the key issue is Discrimination or like Sadhguru says Do the right thing and right thing will happen.
The reality is how many of us admit that we don't have discrimination; that we are not intelligent, that we created the bad outcome; that we could be stupid to make the same mistakes again and again and then said its karma or its God's doing.
It is only with Ace that I can allow myself to be humble enough to see that I m an ass.
Father, my whole life flashed in front of me. No one to be blame except myself. Lack of intelligence. Now I understand why Sadhguru says Clarity is most important. Without clarity we can't see we are wrong, so we keep prolonging our mistakes, our suffering. And only when we wanted to end suffering that we seek. Only in dire thirst, we seek. And I was thirsty cos I don't believe I m meant for suffering.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
If ur heart becomes like the earth before the rainy season, when it is thirsty for water and develops wide cracks due to the parching summer heat - as if it had opened up its lips here and there anticipating the rains - then truth enters.
Otherwise truth turns back even from ur very doorstep. Many times it has turned back, in many lifetimes.
Soul
I must had turn away truth many lifetimes and suffers. Hence this lifetime my dream is Queen of Spades - Self mastery.
Thanks to Ruling card I m able to follow my destiny without much hurdles. And also thanks to my Ruling, the suffering I had in outer world prod me to inner world. Truly suffering is blessing.
Father, thank You.
Didn't expect this. I was already so grateful for the unexpected discovery that Z was a player and was released from him and my life jinx on romantic relationship.
Now able to release from my Ruling card too. Amen.
As soon as I finished writing, waves of tears comes out from nowhere. I feel overwhelm by gratefulness for the release of my life. Then moments later the tears subside and I exploded into laughter. Life.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
Nobody can put u right except u urself.
The master teaches u to be a master of urself - that is the true function of a master. He does not want u to depend on him. But the mind wants u to depend.
One who is not ready to stake his very life will never be able to know the hidden mysteries of life. Religion are for those who are ready to enter into the impossible.
In this world, everything can be given to u by force; only truth cannot, because truth can never become slavery. The very nature of truth is freedom.
Only ur willingness, ur openness, ur receptivity, ur invitation, ur heart full of gratitude.
Soul
Ruling card Ace of Diamonds has little values and is always open; that's why vulnerable in this outer world. But in the inner world, I m like a great sponge. That's true also for my North node in Taurus.
Father, two side to a coin. My low valuation hurts me in outer world but liberates me in inner world.
I have been setting parameter on inner world but not outer world. Only when I dropped some parameters on food and Sadhguru that I can see my issue of no parameters in outside world.
Father, it is me again.
Suddenly I understand what Sadhguru meant by dissolving likes and dislikes. They are parameters we set either consciously or unconsciously.
The parameter we sets against everything relationship, either inner or outer determines the outcome.
In inner world, being able to be open, ie zero parameter is the key to receiving.
In the outer world, we need to set the right parameters accordingly so it won't affect our inner world.
So the key issue is Discrimination or like Sadhguru says Do the right thing and right thing will happen.
The reality is how many of us admit that we don't have discrimination; that we are not intelligent, that we created the bad outcome; that we could be stupid to make the same mistakes again and again and then said its karma or its God's doing.
It is only with Ace that I can allow myself to be humble enough to see that I m an ass.
Father, my whole life flashed in front of me. No one to be blame except myself. Lack of intelligence. Now I understand why Sadhguru says Clarity is most important. Without clarity we can't see we are wrong, so we keep prolonging our mistakes, our suffering. And only when we wanted to end suffering that we seek. Only in dire thirst, we seek. And I was thirsty cos I don't believe I m meant for suffering.
Osho - Adhyatma Upanishad
If ur heart becomes like the earth before the rainy season, when it is thirsty for water and develops wide cracks due to the parching summer heat - as if it had opened up its lips here and there anticipating the rains - then truth enters.
Otherwise truth turns back even from ur very doorstep. Many times it has turned back, in many lifetimes.
Soul
I must had turn away truth many lifetimes and suffers. Hence this lifetime my dream is Queen of Spades - Self mastery.
Thanks to Ruling card I m able to follow my destiny without much hurdles. And also thanks to my Ruling, the suffering I had in outer world prod me to inner world. Truly suffering is blessing.
Father, thank You.
Didn't expect this. I was already so grateful for the unexpected discovery that Z was a player and was released from him and my life jinx on romantic relationship.
Now able to release from my Ruling card too. Amen.
As soon as I finished writing, waves of tears comes out from nowhere. I feel overwhelm by gratefulness for the release of my life. Then moments later the tears subside and I exploded into laughter. Life.
My 5 years journey into Isha
Sept 21 eve2
Osho - razor edge
The student is in the head
The disciple is in the heart
The devotee is in the being.
The disciple is so satisfied, so contented, that the state of devotion happens on its own accord.
The distance between the disciple and devotee is almost nil.
Soul
I never tried to overcome the resistance to Sadhguru or even my dislike for Dhynalinga. If I see him, I see him but if not it is ok. As for Dhynalinga, I accepted that I feel uncomfortable there. So when in Ashram, I did checklist visit once a day but make sure I sit near the little side door so I can breathe easier. I accepted that it is so.
Alas miracle happens.
It took me 4 years to face Sadhguru. It was impromptu. Never planned. It was his first visit to my country and I just walked up to him; amazingly there were no crowd blocking my steps. I just go near to Sadhguru, give him a namaste and he looked at me and laughed. I too started to break into laughter. That's it. All resistance melt from that day. I start to buy his video and watch it at home.
It took me 4 and half years to accept Dhynalinga and when I sit there I just look at, love and devotion just pour out of me. When I see Sadhguru picture in Rejunevation hall, I just feel love pouring from Sadhguru to me.
Yea, then only I could bring back his photo into my life. These days after my practices I just looked at his photo and receive his love. Amen.
Osho - razor edge
The bridge between the student and disciple is meditation. And the bridge between the disciple and devotee is love.
Without meditation coming to a fulfilment, love cannot arise. That's why a devotee seems to be a faraway star.
Once ur mind is gone and ur heart is singing and dancing with joy and love, u will see that the devotee is just one step more.
The love has to become crystallised into trust, the harmoniousness has to come even closer and become oneness.
Soul
Such a paradox. I never search for Guru; never want to be anyone disciple. And I ended up here.
Osho - razor edge
The master and devotee are one. Dissolving into the master is only a device. The moment u dissolve into the master, u dissolved into existence itself; the master was only a window. Through the master u can enter the open sky. Then all the stars are yours and the whole existence is yours. U are a part of it.
Soul
Not sure but I do experienced loving energy from nature.
About 3 years ago I first start to see beauty of nature. Then it dropped and comes in intermittently. These past few months with the change of food diet, the sight of beauty of nature is constant and had deepen.
Osho
The head is good for science, but not for religion. The heart is not good for science, but is an absolute must for religion, because it is the heart that finally grows into devotion, into merger, into love, into trust, into self realisation, into the experience of the divine.
Soul
What a finale. To read this message when I m ready. Amen.
And coincidentally the book finished here.
Osho - razor edge
The student is in the head
The disciple is in the heart
The devotee is in the being.
The disciple is so satisfied, so contented, that the state of devotion happens on its own accord.
The distance between the disciple and devotee is almost nil.
Soul
I never tried to overcome the resistance to Sadhguru or even my dislike for Dhynalinga. If I see him, I see him but if not it is ok. As for Dhynalinga, I accepted that I feel uncomfortable there. So when in Ashram, I did checklist visit once a day but make sure I sit near the little side door so I can breathe easier. I accepted that it is so.
Alas miracle happens.
It took me 4 years to face Sadhguru. It was impromptu. Never planned. It was his first visit to my country and I just walked up to him; amazingly there were no crowd blocking my steps. I just go near to Sadhguru, give him a namaste and he looked at me and laughed. I too started to break into laughter. That's it. All resistance melt from that day. I start to buy his video and watch it at home.
It took me 4 and half years to accept Dhynalinga and when I sit there I just look at, love and devotion just pour out of me. When I see Sadhguru picture in Rejunevation hall, I just feel love pouring from Sadhguru to me.
Yea, then only I could bring back his photo into my life. These days after my practices I just looked at his photo and receive his love. Amen.
Osho - razor edge
The bridge between the student and disciple is meditation. And the bridge between the disciple and devotee is love.
Without meditation coming to a fulfilment, love cannot arise. That's why a devotee seems to be a faraway star.
Once ur mind is gone and ur heart is singing and dancing with joy and love, u will see that the devotee is just one step more.
The love has to become crystallised into trust, the harmoniousness has to come even closer and become oneness.
Soul
Such a paradox. I never search for Guru; never want to be anyone disciple. And I ended up here.
Osho - razor edge
The master and devotee are one. Dissolving into the master is only a device. The moment u dissolve into the master, u dissolved into existence itself; the master was only a window. Through the master u can enter the open sky. Then all the stars are yours and the whole existence is yours. U are a part of it.
Soul
Not sure but I do experienced loving energy from nature.
About 3 years ago I first start to see beauty of nature. Then it dropped and comes in intermittently. These past few months with the change of food diet, the sight of beauty of nature is constant and had deepen.
Osho
The head is good for science, but not for religion. The heart is not good for science, but is an absolute must for religion, because it is the heart that finally grows into devotion, into merger, into love, into trust, into self realisation, into the experience of the divine.
Soul
What a finale. To read this message when I m ready. Amen.
And coincidentally the book finished here.
Finally all search comes back to me, answer is within me
Sept 21 eve 1
Osho - razor edge
You are a battlefield. U r not one but a crowd, and not only a crowd but a crowd which is fighting and u don't know who u are.
Silence will bring u great gifts. And the most precious and the first gift is intelligence. A clarity of vision, a deep understanding of urself and almost all the problems start disappearing - not that u get answers from ur questions but that the questions disappears. U don't find the answer because u are the answer.
Soul
Used to tot God gives some and take some. Give me good career and professional rship but bad romantic relationships. Used to tot its because I m not lovable. Used to think is my karma.
Alas the answer was me. I did the wrong thing and hence got bad results.
Osho - razor edge
One has to be intelligent and alert not to stop before one reached to a twenty four hours continuous, ecstatic state. The journey is not long, only intelligence is needed - that u should not stop in the middle somewhere, because there are beautiful spots, very scenic. One would like to stop, thinking one has arrived - what more can there be?
Soul
The journey continues.
Osho - razor edge
Psychotherapists are just to clean the ground and meditation is to sow the seeds. Then wait patiently. When the spring comes, u will also have flowers in ur being. And to have blossomed is right.
Soul
That's what I did. My journey for self discovery was to uncover my unconscious. I can't allow unconscious to rule me without my awareness.
But the uncovering comes to a point of standstill when I reached my career - reporting. Doing reporting hurts my ego. That's when meditation first comes into my life and helped me overcome it.
Then I become strong and ask for my next lesson - my deep seated fear on romantic relationship. Without my meditation I would have run off many times. I persevered till he did a final cut. Even then I wanted to run but with meditation I persevered and I went in deeper to my Self.
Later I tot it was over but Universe brought the past back to me for me to heal. I went through both Ruling and Destiny Saturn and Uranus cards.
And uncovered that I m not jinxed nor unlovable. I just did the wrong thing so gets bad outcome.
I m healed of my deep seated fears and can look forward to next experience.
Just like I used to unconsciously seek challenges in jobs; the same I did with romantic relationship. Since I did the right thing in job, I can do the right thing in romantic relationship too. Once my eyes are open; I can only do the right thing. And with right thing, I can only have successful outcome. Amen.
Osho - razor edge
You are a battlefield. U r not one but a crowd, and not only a crowd but a crowd which is fighting and u don't know who u are.
Silence will bring u great gifts. And the most precious and the first gift is intelligence. A clarity of vision, a deep understanding of urself and almost all the problems start disappearing - not that u get answers from ur questions but that the questions disappears. U don't find the answer because u are the answer.
Soul
Used to tot God gives some and take some. Give me good career and professional rship but bad romantic relationships. Used to tot its because I m not lovable. Used to think is my karma.
Alas the answer was me. I did the wrong thing and hence got bad results.
Osho - razor edge
One has to be intelligent and alert not to stop before one reached to a twenty four hours continuous, ecstatic state. The journey is not long, only intelligence is needed - that u should not stop in the middle somewhere, because there are beautiful spots, very scenic. One would like to stop, thinking one has arrived - what more can there be?
Soul
The journey continues.
Osho - razor edge
Psychotherapists are just to clean the ground and meditation is to sow the seeds. Then wait patiently. When the spring comes, u will also have flowers in ur being. And to have blossomed is right.
Soul
That's what I did. My journey for self discovery was to uncover my unconscious. I can't allow unconscious to rule me without my awareness.
But the uncovering comes to a point of standstill when I reached my career - reporting. Doing reporting hurts my ego. That's when meditation first comes into my life and helped me overcome it.
Then I become strong and ask for my next lesson - my deep seated fear on romantic relationship. Without my meditation I would have run off many times. I persevered till he did a final cut. Even then I wanted to run but with meditation I persevered and I went in deeper to my Self.
Later I tot it was over but Universe brought the past back to me for me to heal. I went through both Ruling and Destiny Saturn and Uranus cards.
And uncovered that I m not jinxed nor unlovable. I just did the wrong thing so gets bad outcome.
I m healed of my deep seated fears and can look forward to next experience.
Just like I used to unconsciously seek challenges in jobs; the same I did with romantic relationship. Since I did the right thing in job, I can do the right thing in romantic relationship too. Once my eyes are open; I can only do the right thing. And with right thing, I can only have successful outcome. Amen.
Pain of the past is healed and I am freed
Sept 21 eve
Walking in the mall with mom. Suddenly tot no more dark clouds. No more of the past. Feel a sense of relief. For now, just be free.
A tot came on the previous FB message that
Imagine that the pain of past came back so u can heal and be free of it.
Soul
This morning knowing that Z's action is the way of a player and he just played his script. He tot that I m like a player too and can play the game. So I am freed from the past by knowing that there is no betrayal. Z was playing his own scripts as a player.
He was someone I need to go through for me to develop my romantic relationship strategy.
The so called partner leaving me is because they were the wrong choice in the first place cos I m truly easy to love and live with. So theirs leaving me is not a reflection of my lovability. Again it is their scripts. My only responsibility is that I did the wrong thing by not setting parameters, allowing wrong partners to come in.
Truly the veil of illusion on my karmic love has been lifted. Amen.
I know now I can see Z without any remnants of regrets or sadness or angers.
Soul
Just couldn't continue on Osho - Nanak. I m not ready. Went back to complete Osho - razor edge.
Osho - razor edge
Everything is false in u. Ur whole personality is false. One thing is strange, that the false is more permanent than the real. The real is almost like a river, continuous change. Springs come and go, nothing remains the same. But the false stays the same. It is not alive, it is dead. Because of this strangeness humanity depends more on the false.
The real is unpredictable.
Soul
I couldn't read Osho - Nanak cos this week my connection with nature is very little. I know I have not experienced the things that Nanak would say. No point going further. Infact after doing the abridged book; I feel I only scratched the surface.
So its correct. The false seems to be more permanent than real.
Osho - razor edge
Those who are courageous - enters into the unknown; but the unknown is not the end. Very soon the unknown starts taking u into the unknowable and that is the exact space of mysticism.
Soul
Mmm, exciting. Father, let me remember in relationship I must have parameter with safety net cos I m dealing with conditioned people. But in spiritual journey, I need not.
Osho - razor edge
There is no words to describe the unknowable. One simply has a good laugh because the unknowable has always been within u, ur most intimate inner reality.
Hotei is called the laughing Buddha. As he become enlightened, he started laughing and whenever somebody would ask, "Why are u laughing? He would laugh more.
Soul
Don't think I m enlightened. But others called me laughing Buddha too.
When I m in; laughter bubble from my guts. I can't stop laughing. And when people asked me why I laugh, I would just laugh more. I truly don't know why I laugh. It just happen.
When they hug me; I laugh even more as if laughter is overflowing and their tender hugs squeezed laughter from me.
Walking in the mall with mom. Suddenly tot no more dark clouds. No more of the past. Feel a sense of relief. For now, just be free.
A tot came on the previous FB message that
Imagine that the pain of past came back so u can heal and be free of it.
Soul
This morning knowing that Z's action is the way of a player and he just played his script. He tot that I m like a player too and can play the game. So I am freed from the past by knowing that there is no betrayal. Z was playing his own scripts as a player.
He was someone I need to go through for me to develop my romantic relationship strategy.
The so called partner leaving me is because they were the wrong choice in the first place cos I m truly easy to love and live with. So theirs leaving me is not a reflection of my lovability. Again it is their scripts. My only responsibility is that I did the wrong thing by not setting parameters, allowing wrong partners to come in.
Truly the veil of illusion on my karmic love has been lifted. Amen.
I know now I can see Z without any remnants of regrets or sadness or angers.
Soul
Just couldn't continue on Osho - Nanak. I m not ready. Went back to complete Osho - razor edge.
Osho - razor edge
Everything is false in u. Ur whole personality is false. One thing is strange, that the false is more permanent than the real. The real is almost like a river, continuous change. Springs come and go, nothing remains the same. But the false stays the same. It is not alive, it is dead. Because of this strangeness humanity depends more on the false.
The real is unpredictable.
Soul
I couldn't read Osho - Nanak cos this week my connection with nature is very little. I know I have not experienced the things that Nanak would say. No point going further. Infact after doing the abridged book; I feel I only scratched the surface.
So its correct. The false seems to be more permanent than real.
Osho - razor edge
Those who are courageous - enters into the unknown; but the unknown is not the end. Very soon the unknown starts taking u into the unknowable and that is the exact space of mysticism.
Soul
Mmm, exciting. Father, let me remember in relationship I must have parameter with safety net cos I m dealing with conditioned people. But in spiritual journey, I need not.
Osho - razor edge
There is no words to describe the unknowable. One simply has a good laugh because the unknowable has always been within u, ur most intimate inner reality.
Hotei is called the laughing Buddha. As he become enlightened, he started laughing and whenever somebody would ask, "Why are u laughing? He would laugh more.
Soul
Don't think I m enlightened. But others called me laughing Buddha too.
When I m in; laughter bubble from my guts. I can't stop laughing. And when people asked me why I laugh, I would just laugh more. I truly don't know why I laugh. It just happen.
When they hug me; I laugh even more as if laughter is overflowing and their tender hugs squeezed laughter from me.
Finally realise I wrongly place my lovability on the wrong partners
Sept 21
Woke up and wonder about Z whether Z was a true player. Then I confirmed it. He just a long time player, nevertheless a true player. Only a player can do immediate replacement. Only a player can say u can fool around but don't let it affect ur family status. Only a player can say u can go for a relationship, enjoy yourself but don't bring him or her home to family, keep it separate.
Did my practices. Surya kriya was lovely. Foot alignment getting better. Breathing was nice. Shakti was good. Shambavi good too. Some tots and just a little tots of past that just float by; it can no longer hold.
One tot stick. I m truly lovable but the partners I had attracted can't or won't appreciate my lovability. So, not my issue. Its their issue. A tot came on his 42 to 48 on Eight of Hearts long range. It doesn't mean all rosy; he is just looking and that's his dream. Just like my age 42 to 48 is Queen of Spades - searching for self mastery.
My issue was no parameter led to bad partner. Partner that won't or can't appreciate me. So the outcome would definitely be bad. The karmic life challenge is dissolved.
I did the wrong thing and it stopped with Z.
Finally, its not that he is insensitive or think I m great or he is not; he just put me to be a player like him. That's why he can end the way he did and do immediate replacement.
Woke up and wonder about Z whether Z was a true player. Then I confirmed it. He just a long time player, nevertheless a true player. Only a player can do immediate replacement. Only a player can say u can fool around but don't let it affect ur family status. Only a player can say u can go for a relationship, enjoy yourself but don't bring him or her home to family, keep it separate.
Did my practices. Surya kriya was lovely. Foot alignment getting better. Breathing was nice. Shakti was good. Shambavi good too. Some tots and just a little tots of past that just float by; it can no longer hold.
One tot stick. I m truly lovable but the partners I had attracted can't or won't appreciate my lovability. So, not my issue. Its their issue. A tot came on his 42 to 48 on Eight of Hearts long range. It doesn't mean all rosy; he is just looking and that's his dream. Just like my age 42 to 48 is Queen of Spades - searching for self mastery.
My issue was no parameter led to bad partner. Partner that won't or can't appreciate me. So the outcome would definitely be bad. The karmic life challenge is dissolved.
I did the wrong thing and it stopped with Z.
Finally, its not that he is insensitive or think I m great or he is not; he just put me to be a player like him. That's why he can end the way he did and do immediate replacement.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Dark clouds is finally gone
Sept 20 eve
Now driving back home. The flowers at road side looks lovely. Feel that they are cheering me. Dark cloud lifted. I m happy again.
From now onward on smooth sailing relationship.
I have faced enough challenges. None needed.
The same as challenges in work life has disappeared ever since I made decision I don't need challenges work to validate me. I have easy boss and got easy work life and can even opt for 3 days.
My personal rship had changed since I decided no more going for parental mode friends. If cant avoid, parameters are enforced by me. No more allowing others to make me small; no more needing their unwelcome validation.
The same goes for romantic relationship. No more bad boys. No more players. No longer require validation of having partner.
Now driving back home. The flowers at road side looks lovely. Feel that they are cheering me. Dark cloud lifted. I m happy again.
From now onward on smooth sailing relationship.
I have faced enough challenges. None needed.
The same as challenges in work life has disappeared ever since I made decision I don't need challenges work to validate me. I have easy boss and got easy work life and can even opt for 3 days.
My personal rship had changed since I decided no more going for parental mode friends. If cant avoid, parameters are enforced by me. No more allowing others to make me small; no more needing their unwelcome validation.
The same goes for romantic relationship. No more bad boys. No more players. No longer require validation of having partner.
I am truly not such a big ass in romantic relationship - I am just not a player
Sept 20 mor
The Twelfth Insight
It is a lot harder to follow ur intuition when it means having to change plan.
Soul
Tell me about it. Ha ha.
The Twelfth Insight
Male and female in romantic relationship
We all play game of sex and security. U think u have to be in control so u limit ur connection with me, or manipulate it in some way. But the fact is, this habit of closing off to some women is probably something u always done.
Soul
Z definitely did that and openly told me. Whereas I open up completely. I told him let me be. He said I be hurt. I said let that be mine lesson. I m committed to learn all I can from our relationship. If he doesn't want to learn, its up to him.
He chose to control and not to learn. He was even proud of the fact that he never let me know what he truly thinks.
Well, the loss is for him. He lost a great catch, me!
Father, thank you. Reading this reminds me that I m not as big ass I tot I was. The only way out was in. In my case I knew Z was my Cosmic lesson. So I do expect pain. Actually it is not that bad. The main issue was my own Saturn lesson of Nine of Hearts and First karma cards of Two of Diamonds in letting go of bad relationship. It was long over but I couldn't release then.
Father, I had zero parameter and he has maximum parameter in relationship.
Me - partner win I lost.
Him - partner lose as he won in the beginning. He will give what the partner wants to get her. But not sustainable cos its not him.
In the long run; he will lose cos not on win win.
The Twelfth Insight
I bet u never really opened up to any woman. U were busy manipulating, hoping to entice them into a relationship with u, or, on the other hand dismissing them altogether if they didnt seem like a sexual possibility.
We are all stuck in not fully connecting with those of the opposite sex - women using sexuality to manipulate men, men manipulate women to get sex.
Soul
Just what I said earlier. But I truly didnt play game. I had no parameter and couldn't play.
I think his wife knew how to play the game of sexuality. She needed to have heavy eye liner even for prayer session. Z met his match as both can play.
I m not their league. Perhaps that's it. God will give me someone that can't play like me too. I just need to be discriminating on my choice. It is done now that I know to set parameters.
Father, thank so much for this. Love U.
Finally got my finale story. Messaged to G about my discovery that both Z and wife are players. I m not.
Got an answer from G on both Z and wife are players:
Exactly what I thought they were like. I could not see Z as the same one as l had seen and the one you spoke of. My friend you have got there! Happy for u
The Twelfth Insight
It is a lot harder to follow ur intuition when it means having to change plan.
Soul
Tell me about it. Ha ha.
The Twelfth Insight
Male and female in romantic relationship
We all play game of sex and security. U think u have to be in control so u limit ur connection with me, or manipulate it in some way. But the fact is, this habit of closing off to some women is probably something u always done.
Soul
Z definitely did that and openly told me. Whereas I open up completely. I told him let me be. He said I be hurt. I said let that be mine lesson. I m committed to learn all I can from our relationship. If he doesn't want to learn, its up to him.
He chose to control and not to learn. He was even proud of the fact that he never let me know what he truly thinks.
Well, the loss is for him. He lost a great catch, me!
Father, thank you. Reading this reminds me that I m not as big ass I tot I was. The only way out was in. In my case I knew Z was my Cosmic lesson. So I do expect pain. Actually it is not that bad. The main issue was my own Saturn lesson of Nine of Hearts and First karma cards of Two of Diamonds in letting go of bad relationship. It was long over but I couldn't release then.
Father, I had zero parameter and he has maximum parameter in relationship.
Me - partner win I lost.
Him - partner lose as he won in the beginning. He will give what the partner wants to get her. But not sustainable cos its not him.
In the long run; he will lose cos not on win win.
The Twelfth Insight
I bet u never really opened up to any woman. U were busy manipulating, hoping to entice them into a relationship with u, or, on the other hand dismissing them altogether if they didnt seem like a sexual possibility.
We are all stuck in not fully connecting with those of the opposite sex - women using sexuality to manipulate men, men manipulate women to get sex.
Soul
Just what I said earlier. But I truly didnt play game. I had no parameter and couldn't play.
I think his wife knew how to play the game of sexuality. She needed to have heavy eye liner even for prayer session. Z met his match as both can play.
I m not their league. Perhaps that's it. God will give me someone that can't play like me too. I just need to be discriminating on my choice. It is done now that I know to set parameters.
Father, thank so much for this. Love U.
Finally got my finale story. Messaged to G about my discovery that both Z and wife are players. I m not.
Got an answer from G on both Z and wife are players:
Exactly what I thought they were like. I could not see Z as the same one as l had seen and the one you spoke of. My friend you have got there! Happy for u
To maintain high consciousness - clean food is a perquisite
Sept 20 aft1
Father, finally I can have positive tots on the break up. Alas confirmed that Seven of Clubs is dissolved. Thanks to you.
The Twelfth Insight
We will begin to see the world as immensely beautiful and even light filled.
Opening to perception is built into the structure of our brains, just like the rest of the jumps in consciousness we have experienced.
To see more beauty is to get closer to the consciousness that exists in Heaven. Colour jumping out. Everything stood out hyperfocus which created an enhanced, three-dimensional effects. Everything stood out with incredible colours, form, beauty and existence - all at the same time.
While many other traditions spoke of this kind of perception, the Native traditions by far emphasised this ability to see nature as it really is.
Soul
I can truly see the beauty of trees and grass. I used to call it high definition.
That's the word - colour jumping out especially the grass. They are so lusciously green.
The Twelfth Insight
But Agape with Mother Earth has to be maintained and treasured. And one has to eat clean food to remain at this level of perception.
Soul
No wonder my perception of beauty is maintained cos I stopped eating red meat and poultry.
The Twelfth Insight
Once we become conscious of the drama we play, its strength diminishes.
Soul
True. Seven of Clubs be gone.
The Twelfth Insight
There is only one Rapture! The Rapture is a bodily transformation that happens through heightened perception and consciousness such as we have glimpsed. We shouldn't be waiting on God to bring the Rapture. God is waiting on us!
We have to open up to Divine Consciousness enough so that our perception and energy expand enough so that it can occur.
Soul
Exactly same message from the yogis.
I have already experienced some of it. My path is just to deepen it.
Father, after reading this, somehow I feel I have an alternative purpose than just getting my partner. Getting my True Divine is more important.
Father, finally I can have positive tots on the break up. Alas confirmed that Seven of Clubs is dissolved. Thanks to you.
The Twelfth Insight
We will begin to see the world as immensely beautiful and even light filled.
Opening to perception is built into the structure of our brains, just like the rest of the jumps in consciousness we have experienced.
To see more beauty is to get closer to the consciousness that exists in Heaven. Colour jumping out. Everything stood out hyperfocus which created an enhanced, three-dimensional effects. Everything stood out with incredible colours, form, beauty and existence - all at the same time.
While many other traditions spoke of this kind of perception, the Native traditions by far emphasised this ability to see nature as it really is.
Soul
I can truly see the beauty of trees and grass. I used to call it high definition.
That's the word - colour jumping out especially the grass. They are so lusciously green.
The Twelfth Insight
But Agape with Mother Earth has to be maintained and treasured. And one has to eat clean food to remain at this level of perception.
Soul
No wonder my perception of beauty is maintained cos I stopped eating red meat and poultry.
The Twelfth Insight
Once we become conscious of the drama we play, its strength diminishes.
Soul
True. Seven of Clubs be gone.
The Twelfth Insight
There is only one Rapture! The Rapture is a bodily transformation that happens through heightened perception and consciousness such as we have glimpsed. We shouldn't be waiting on God to bring the Rapture. God is waiting on us!
We have to open up to Divine Consciousness enough so that our perception and energy expand enough so that it can occur.
Soul
Exactly same message from the yogis.
I have already experienced some of it. My path is just to deepen it.
Father, after reading this, somehow I feel I have an alternative purpose than just getting my partner. Getting my True Divine is more important.
North Node in 11th house - I am back
Sept 20 aft
Today Destinycard
Eight of Spades
Power through work card
The most powerful card of physical and will power. U will find urself experiencing more power over your health and work matter.
Success is indicated by this card, along with the ability to overcome any obstacles that may appear in ur way. Power comes from focusing our will, narrowing down of the areas of our interest. Because of this, we often lose focus in less important areas while we gather force in one.
I have gone thru the cycle
Anger
Hurt
Guilt
Fear
Love
Now I can finally experience love for myself.
North node in 11th house
They have innate confidence in their power to overcome life's obstacles. Perhaps that's why they have resilience and are able to bounce back from catastrophes with a happy heart and a spirit that is willing to go on the next adventure.
They accurately appraise their talents and needs and then set about creating positive solutions. They don't seek security through conventional means - they depend on their own wits to ensure their destiny.
Soul
I m hopeful.
I am back.
Today Destinycard
Eight of Spades
Power through work card
The most powerful card of physical and will power. U will find urself experiencing more power over your health and work matter.
Success is indicated by this card, along with the ability to overcome any obstacles that may appear in ur way. Power comes from focusing our will, narrowing down of the areas of our interest. Because of this, we often lose focus in less important areas while we gather force in one.
I have gone thru the cycle
Anger
Hurt
Guilt
Fear
Love
Now I can finally experience love for myself.
North node in 11th house
They have innate confidence in their power to overcome life's obstacles. Perhaps that's why they have resilience and are able to bounce back from catastrophes with a happy heart and a spirit that is willing to go on the next adventure.
They accurately appraise their talents and needs and then set about creating positive solutions. They don't seek security through conventional means - they depend on their own wits to ensure their destiny.
Soul
I m hopeful.
I am back.
If the desired outcome cannot be visualised, most likely it cannot happen to what we desired
Sept 20
Woke up with this tot:
Why I still give when Z asked me not to? I m such an ass in the relationship with Z. I knew it was a risk giving but still I proceed. Of course, at time fear sets in and I explode by running.
Soul
U have to give. The only way out is in.
Don't just blame yourself. He truly didnt ends it well. He was an asshole ending.
And if he is not an asshole in ending; u won't get this karmic breakthrough.
Body feels well. Green phelgm has reduced but coughing increased. Perhaps this are tail ends.
Asanas were ok. Able to touch forehead to knees for the three cycle. Snail also improved. Breathing was not good cos coughing loads. Shakti also break up by coughing. But I did my best. Shambavi was good. Love the preparatory steps. Ending was good. Just sat there in contented silence.
There were some tots of past. This time I would just counter that I was an ass.
As I was driving, feels sad that I was an ass. Perhaps the past coming to my life serves as a reminder that I can be an ass in romantic relationship. Big price to pay but my issues may be deep and hence need reinforcement. Just remember Father gives me everything that I need; not what I may want.
Now in the restaurant; just realised that everyone sets high parameters on food cos that's the easiest one to win. Food won't say no. The only thing is the quality of food dictated by money. For myself; quality and money spend on food increased in tandem with my increased income.
From Facebook
Imagine If unwelcome visit by pains of the past were really an invitation to honour, pardon and sets them free.
Soul
Like that.
The Twelfth Insight
When facing a decision whether to go somewhere or not, we can just imagine ourselves already traveling to the place and arriving there. The point is to see how easily the journey can be visualised. If u can see urself going there easily, then that's means its a good idea. If the desired images are difficult to see, or fail to appear altogether, we should take precautionary steps.
We could use this method to tune in to many different life situations.
Soul
I was unable to see images of me being happily married. Cant really see how Z can overcome his need for children. I don't even want to do Kapalvriksha as I can't visualise the images.
So it was right that it could not happen. And I tot I was destined to be without partner. luckily i had auto control mode so things never go too disastrous.
But since I found out that it was me not setting parameter that attract bad relationship. I felt hopeful.
There is hope for me. Father; finally I m beginning to have faith. You have brought me this far and u will bring me further.
Instead of asking why relationship doesn't happen. I know now that u r trying to prevent bad ones from happening.
Twelfth Insight
When we see the right course of action, there is a corresponding elevation of energy or an "urging" feeling, as though one is "inspired" to take the action.
Soul
Beginning to understand this.
The Twelfth Insight
Judaism
Obeying God
Christian
Doing God's Will
Zen
Flow in harmony with the Divine.
Islam
Surrendering to the God. It is the foundation of Islam. The ego must be put in its proper place by the daily seeking of guidance in prayer, many times daily, so that we act in spirit!
Woke up with this tot:
Why I still give when Z asked me not to? I m such an ass in the relationship with Z. I knew it was a risk giving but still I proceed. Of course, at time fear sets in and I explode by running.
Soul
U have to give. The only way out is in.
Don't just blame yourself. He truly didnt ends it well. He was an asshole ending.
And if he is not an asshole in ending; u won't get this karmic breakthrough.
Body feels well. Green phelgm has reduced but coughing increased. Perhaps this are tail ends.
Asanas were ok. Able to touch forehead to knees for the three cycle. Snail also improved. Breathing was not good cos coughing loads. Shakti also break up by coughing. But I did my best. Shambavi was good. Love the preparatory steps. Ending was good. Just sat there in contented silence.
There were some tots of past. This time I would just counter that I was an ass.
As I was driving, feels sad that I was an ass. Perhaps the past coming to my life serves as a reminder that I can be an ass in romantic relationship. Big price to pay but my issues may be deep and hence need reinforcement. Just remember Father gives me everything that I need; not what I may want.
Now in the restaurant; just realised that everyone sets high parameters on food cos that's the easiest one to win. Food won't say no. The only thing is the quality of food dictated by money. For myself; quality and money spend on food increased in tandem with my increased income.
From Facebook
Imagine If unwelcome visit by pains of the past were really an invitation to honour, pardon and sets them free.
Soul
Like that.
The Twelfth Insight
When facing a decision whether to go somewhere or not, we can just imagine ourselves already traveling to the place and arriving there. The point is to see how easily the journey can be visualised. If u can see urself going there easily, then that's means its a good idea. If the desired images are difficult to see, or fail to appear altogether, we should take precautionary steps.
We could use this method to tune in to many different life situations.
Soul
I was unable to see images of me being happily married. Cant really see how Z can overcome his need for children. I don't even want to do Kapalvriksha as I can't visualise the images.
So it was right that it could not happen. And I tot I was destined to be without partner. luckily i had auto control mode so things never go too disastrous.
But since I found out that it was me not setting parameter that attract bad relationship. I felt hopeful.
There is hope for me. Father; finally I m beginning to have faith. You have brought me this far and u will bring me further.
Instead of asking why relationship doesn't happen. I know now that u r trying to prevent bad ones from happening.
Twelfth Insight
When we see the right course of action, there is a corresponding elevation of energy or an "urging" feeling, as though one is "inspired" to take the action.
Soul
Beginning to understand this.
The Twelfth Insight
Judaism
Obeying God
Christian
Doing God's Will
Zen
Flow in harmony with the Divine.
Islam
Surrendering to the God. It is the foundation of Islam. The ego must be put in its proper place by the daily seeking of guidance in prayer, many times daily, so that we act in spirit!
I am truly an ass in romantic relationship - need to set parameter
Sept 19 eve 1
Soul
After reading the Cosmic Love I can see myself more an ass than Z as asshole.
He was on his original mode, his main issue was the bad closure and lack of sensitivity.
He was truly not right for me. Let this be bygones.
There are remnants of sadness.
Just got this on FB.
Some things are meant to be and some things are just meant to be great stories.
Soul
Well, up to this point Z is the greatest stories of my life.
Volume 3 was in relationship with him
Volume 4 was undergoing the ending
Volume 5 was the recovery and ending my karmic issue in relationship.
Now that I can see the issue is in parameters and further confirmed by Cosmic Love. I m safe to proceed. The good thing is that I have set good boundaries in money and work relationship and already started on personal relationships. Now just need to set parameters for romantic relationship.
Guess wish Z could have end this correctly and save me these last 6 months but then perhaps Destiny knows I needed more time to unravel and need a second final ending before I can dissolve my karmic issue in romantic relationship. Actually during the last few months I faced issue in personal relationship as finally realised need to set parameters.
Perhaps after setting parameter in personal relationship that I was finally ready to face romantic relationship.
So all in all everything happens in line.
Just like those personal relationship that is still there; the same goes for Z too. Let them be in my face; reminding me continuously to set parameters. One days when I m truly successful; our tone of relationship will change or they will move out of my life.
Soul
After reading the Cosmic Love I can see myself more an ass than Z as asshole.
He was on his original mode, his main issue was the bad closure and lack of sensitivity.
He was truly not right for me. Let this be bygones.
There are remnants of sadness.
Just got this on FB.
Some things are meant to be and some things are just meant to be great stories.
Soul
Well, up to this point Z is the greatest stories of my life.
Volume 3 was in relationship with him
Volume 4 was undergoing the ending
Volume 5 was the recovery and ending my karmic issue in relationship.
Now that I can see the issue is in parameters and further confirmed by Cosmic Love. I m safe to proceed. The good thing is that I have set good boundaries in money and work relationship and already started on personal relationships. Now just need to set parameters for romantic relationship.
Guess wish Z could have end this correctly and save me these last 6 months but then perhaps Destiny knows I needed more time to unravel and need a second final ending before I can dissolve my karmic issue in romantic relationship. Actually during the last few months I faced issue in personal relationship as finally realised need to set parameters.
Perhaps after setting parameter in personal relationship that I was finally ready to face romantic relationship.
So all in all everything happens in line.
Just like those personal relationship that is still there; the same goes for Z too. Let them be in my face; reminding me continuously to set parameters. One days when I m truly successful; our tone of relationship will change or they will move out of my life.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
Sept 19 eve
Mmm, suddenly tot teacher is also another controller. She also forced M into extreme. And she also for forced me into extreme over simple mail. I used to be dumbfounded by her judgement. But now I know...its the same like S too.
Just did evening Shoonya and Samyama. Shoonya not great cos coughing too much. Surprisingly it was nice Samyama. I tot it was a short one but I sat for half an hour too. Towards the end, cheer bubble through and I laughed contently.
A tot came to me; my romantic love is no longer a hope for miracle. It can truly happen. The jinx is finally undone.
Will stop Nanak for awhile and read Cosmic Love with new eyes.
Cosmic Love by Jan Spiller
By consistently choosing the highest path of true authenticity over a desired outcome in the relationship, we can actively cooperate with the process of becoming more whole and genuine and earn the right to experience greater exchanges of Love to satisfy and heal us.
The people we attract into our lives often hold the key to the next step we need to take in order to complete our own readiness to have successful relationship.
Soul
True. The parental modes personal relationships have helped me to see through that people who shout loudest ain't gospel truth. I learned to ignore their attack and focus on my path.
Z was the karmic one who finally led me to see how my need to have a partner led me to have no parameter on selection of partner. And it is also this awareness that led to dissolve my past belief that I need a miracle to have a successful relationship.
Well, no more. I know I don't need miracle cos I can now take responsibility to make it happen. Just like I attracted and maintain good food and good working relationships; the same can now happen in personal and romantic relationships.
Cosmic Love
The values and spiritual maturity of two individuals must be naturally compatible in order for truly deep bonding to occur.
Soul
Yes; especially now I know that I want total commitment with my partner and my spiritual path.
Karma mate
These relationships when handled correctly can yield a clarity and fearlessness that empowers us to rise beyond our greatest vision for ourselves
Soul
I tot Z and I were soul mate. But then I don't have his time of birth so natal chart may not be accurate.
Cosmic Love
Since we can only experience a certain number of deeply personal relationships in any one lifetime, its important to be selective about those we relate on an essential level.
Soul
Yes, need to set parameters for romantic relationships.
Cosmic Love
North node in Taurus
They denies their needs in the moment and then demands that they be met in a specific way later on. And then, whether their partner later meet their needs or not, they cannot experience true intimacy because the natural reciprocal process that can be created when needs are expressed As They Arise has been circumvented.
For most people, stretching beyond their comfort zone is a requirement for personal and spiritual growth. But for Taurus NN people, this process is reversed. They tend to feel safer when they discount their own comfort and ignore their boundaries. It may even feel very frightening for them to remain aware of their comfort zone and stay within it, but it is through that process that growth can occur.
And in this lifetime, it is an absolute necessity if their relationship to succeed.
Soul
When I read this previously I sort of ignored it. Now that I can see that its my Zero parameters that causes me to have bad partners; I will abide.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
In this incarnation, there is no rush, they have plenty of time - and if they stay within the parameters of where they feel good about themselves, they will know they are on track.
Soul
Exactly. Parameters.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
They have lost touch with their own sense of self worth and the inner voices that tells them what is truly worthwhile. Until this pattern is resolved, it emerges again in this incarnation as a block to creating happy relationships.
Soul
Yes, parameters again.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
This block intimacy because underneath the native knows they are disrespecting themselves by giving themselves so much to their partner - and they are - when they don't also reveal their own needs.
Soul
Yes, I was an ass.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
They just assume that their choice is to partner with someone and be responsible for their needs, or to not have a partner. So rather than following their own natural attraction and finding what they need for personal fulfilment, they usually choose a partner whom they think they can fulfill without expanding too much energy.
Soul
True. The karmic wheel is broken.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
No one asked the native to give so excessively and they never make it clear to their partner what they want in return. So, again, its the "hidden price tag" and when the other person doesn't "pay up", the native shut down.
Soul
Z always asked me not to give. But I continue to give, pretending to myself that I don't want anything. Anyway, in this case, its a wrong partner. He kept to his original intention that I m just a fling, albeit long term.
So, will not judge myself.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
For their relationship to be successful, NN are learning to take responsibility for strengthening their sense of self and reconnecting with their own personal values. They can accomplish this by focusing on the people and activities that bring them inner feeling of satisfaction. They must make sure they set aside enough time to pursue reestablishing their sense of self worth.
Soul
Amen. With my 3 days week I m on the right track.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
In past lives, NN were accustomed to having a Soul Mate, so now whenever they bond with someone - a lover, spouse, child or business partner - they give 100%.
Soul
Part of me knew that. That's why I don't want to have children. As for partner, I hope to have someone's that gives me less responsibility (not needy) or someone that can give me (stronger). Alas I now strive for mutual giving.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
When they consciously constructing healthy boundaries - by setting time aside for themselves, letting others know as their needs arise and building reciprocity in their relationship - they naturally cease to create money crises.
Soul
I m quite good with money, thanks to Moon in Taurus and Solar in Taurus. But creating healthy boundaries; ie parameters is important.
Mmm, suddenly tot teacher is also another controller. She also forced M into extreme. And she also for forced me into extreme over simple mail. I used to be dumbfounded by her judgement. But now I know...its the same like S too.
Just did evening Shoonya and Samyama. Shoonya not great cos coughing too much. Surprisingly it was nice Samyama. I tot it was a short one but I sat for half an hour too. Towards the end, cheer bubble through and I laughed contently.
A tot came to me; my romantic love is no longer a hope for miracle. It can truly happen. The jinx is finally undone.
Will stop Nanak for awhile and read Cosmic Love with new eyes.
Cosmic Love by Jan Spiller
By consistently choosing the highest path of true authenticity over a desired outcome in the relationship, we can actively cooperate with the process of becoming more whole and genuine and earn the right to experience greater exchanges of Love to satisfy and heal us.
The people we attract into our lives often hold the key to the next step we need to take in order to complete our own readiness to have successful relationship.
Soul
True. The parental modes personal relationships have helped me to see through that people who shout loudest ain't gospel truth. I learned to ignore their attack and focus on my path.
Z was the karmic one who finally led me to see how my need to have a partner led me to have no parameter on selection of partner. And it is also this awareness that led to dissolve my past belief that I need a miracle to have a successful relationship.
Well, no more. I know I don't need miracle cos I can now take responsibility to make it happen. Just like I attracted and maintain good food and good working relationships; the same can now happen in personal and romantic relationships.
Cosmic Love
The values and spiritual maturity of two individuals must be naturally compatible in order for truly deep bonding to occur.
Soul
Yes; especially now I know that I want total commitment with my partner and my spiritual path.
Karma mate
These relationships when handled correctly can yield a clarity and fearlessness that empowers us to rise beyond our greatest vision for ourselves
Soul
I tot Z and I were soul mate. But then I don't have his time of birth so natal chart may not be accurate.
Cosmic Love
Since we can only experience a certain number of deeply personal relationships in any one lifetime, its important to be selective about those we relate on an essential level.
Soul
Yes, need to set parameters for romantic relationships.
Cosmic Love
North node in Taurus
They denies their needs in the moment and then demands that they be met in a specific way later on. And then, whether their partner later meet their needs or not, they cannot experience true intimacy because the natural reciprocal process that can be created when needs are expressed As They Arise has been circumvented.
For most people, stretching beyond their comfort zone is a requirement for personal and spiritual growth. But for Taurus NN people, this process is reversed. They tend to feel safer when they discount their own comfort and ignore their boundaries. It may even feel very frightening for them to remain aware of their comfort zone and stay within it, but it is through that process that growth can occur.
And in this lifetime, it is an absolute necessity if their relationship to succeed.
Soul
When I read this previously I sort of ignored it. Now that I can see that its my Zero parameters that causes me to have bad partners; I will abide.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
In this incarnation, there is no rush, they have plenty of time - and if they stay within the parameters of where they feel good about themselves, they will know they are on track.
Soul
Exactly. Parameters.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
They have lost touch with their own sense of self worth and the inner voices that tells them what is truly worthwhile. Until this pattern is resolved, it emerges again in this incarnation as a block to creating happy relationships.
Soul
Yes, parameters again.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
This block intimacy because underneath the native knows they are disrespecting themselves by giving themselves so much to their partner - and they are - when they don't also reveal their own needs.
Soul
Yes, I was an ass.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
They just assume that their choice is to partner with someone and be responsible for their needs, or to not have a partner. So rather than following their own natural attraction and finding what they need for personal fulfilment, they usually choose a partner whom they think they can fulfill without expanding too much energy.
Soul
True. The karmic wheel is broken.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
No one asked the native to give so excessively and they never make it clear to their partner what they want in return. So, again, its the "hidden price tag" and when the other person doesn't "pay up", the native shut down.
Soul
Z always asked me not to give. But I continue to give, pretending to myself that I don't want anything. Anyway, in this case, its a wrong partner. He kept to his original intention that I m just a fling, albeit long term.
So, will not judge myself.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
For their relationship to be successful, NN are learning to take responsibility for strengthening their sense of self and reconnecting with their own personal values. They can accomplish this by focusing on the people and activities that bring them inner feeling of satisfaction. They must make sure they set aside enough time to pursue reestablishing their sense of self worth.
Soul
Amen. With my 3 days week I m on the right track.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
In past lives, NN were accustomed to having a Soul Mate, so now whenever they bond with someone - a lover, spouse, child or business partner - they give 100%.
Soul
Part of me knew that. That's why I don't want to have children. As for partner, I hope to have someone's that gives me less responsibility (not needy) or someone that can give me (stronger). Alas I now strive for mutual giving.
Cosmic Love for North node in Taurus
When they consciously constructing healthy boundaries - by setting time aside for themselves, letting others know as their needs arise and building reciprocity in their relationship - they naturally cease to create money crises.
Soul
I m quite good with money, thanks to Moon in Taurus and Solar in Taurus. But creating healthy boundaries; ie parameters is important.
Z was truly my karmic relationship in age 42 to 48 of 7thunders card
Sept 19 aft
Insead enewsletter
The more we invest in something (financially, emotionally or otherwise) the harder to give up that investment and the more inclined we are to escalate commitment. In many cases, negative emotions, fear, anxiety, regret, even guilt or worry over past decisions, subsconciously play a part in the decision making.
Soul
Amen. Thats explains it.
Phelgm and coughing reduced. I m on way to recovery. For the first time in my life, I didn't go to see doctor for flu and cough. I am confident my body can fight this on its own.
Actually apart from joints pain due to Rheumatoid Arthritis, my only other issue was flu and cough and some skin allergy. This will be the start, I m no longer willing to have other substance other than RA pills.
Was looking out for new abridged book in my blog and saw my journal back in Aug 2010
Aug 15 Evening 2010
Father, I was reading the 7thunder cards. It was scary cos I can relate to it and think the 7 years from 42 to 48 is really true.
The Long Range is Queen of Spade (Self-Mastery),
The Pluto is King of Spade - to be a master of my work and mySelf, to take charge to be a King
Result is Jack of Spade - Spiritual-initiation and success in creative writing, karmic personal or professional rship with a younger Spade man
(Soul - Mmm, V is Spade and we now working on my website, he is my confidante. S is my cosmic lesson...; wonder what could this be?)
Soul
Yea, confirmed Z was my karmic personal relationship. He is Seven of Spades and younger than me.
Insead enewsletter
The more we invest in something (financially, emotionally or otherwise) the harder to give up that investment and the more inclined we are to escalate commitment. In many cases, negative emotions, fear, anxiety, regret, even guilt or worry over past decisions, subsconciously play a part in the decision making.
Soul
Amen. Thats explains it.
Phelgm and coughing reduced. I m on way to recovery. For the first time in my life, I didn't go to see doctor for flu and cough. I am confident my body can fight this on its own.
Actually apart from joints pain due to Rheumatoid Arthritis, my only other issue was flu and cough and some skin allergy. This will be the start, I m no longer willing to have other substance other than RA pills.
Was looking out for new abridged book in my blog and saw my journal back in Aug 2010
Aug 15 Evening 2010
Father, I was reading the 7thunder cards. It was scary cos I can relate to it and think the 7 years from 42 to 48 is really true.
The Long Range is Queen of Spade (Self-Mastery),
The Pluto is King of Spade - to be a master of my work and mySelf, to take charge to be a King
Result is Jack of Spade - Spiritual-initiation and success in creative writing, karmic personal or professional rship with a younger Spade man
(Soul - Mmm, V is Spade and we now working on my website, he is my confidante. S is my cosmic lesson...; wonder what could this be?)
Soul
Yea, confirmed Z was my karmic personal relationship. He is Seven of Spades and younger than me.
Cheers is back...the black cloud of past few months is now gone
Sept 19
Body is getting better. Slept earlier and body woke up before 6 am. I sleep back cos today not working. Woke up at 7 am to do my practices.
Still cannot do full guru pooja as voice is still not recovered completely.
Did 5 cycles of Surya kriya. In the first cycle, the right and left elbow was bit pain.
Foot alignment has improved. And two feet nearly touching ground. Breathing was not so easy with the nose blocked.
Breathing was lovely and can see violet flame. Shakti was good too. I was able to focus despite massive drilling noise from neighbour.
Shambavi is good. Love the preparatory steps and I enjoyed Suka kriya. These days my right elbow is able to rest completely on lower chest. So makes Suka kriya effortless.
Towards the end I was singing and dancing. Followed by silence. Moments later I can feel cheeriness slowing moving up. Not joy but cheers. It has a different feel. Almost celebrative.
I thanked all who made this possible for me.
There were some tots of past but it couldn't linger; comes and goes like cloud. Amen.
Finally I feel cheers; the dark clouds hanging over me since last December is finally gone.
Four of Hearts - Jupiter
Sign of protection in love, marriage and family. It the foundation of love upon which a family and life can be built. It is the home of heart.
Open urself up to the abundance of life.
Soul
I normally don't get card of Fours. Even more seldom is Four of Hearts. Great I got this card today. Cheer is in now.
Yesterday when I read the Maturity card under Resolution; I felt bit sceptical. But today I felt a glimmer.
Maturity
This figure stands alone, silent and yet alert. The inner being is filled with flowers--that carry the quality of springtime and regenerate wherever he goes. This inner flowering and the wholeness that he feels affords the possibility of unlimited movement. He can move in any direction--within and without it makes no difference as his joy and and maturity cannot be diminished by externals. He has come to a time of centeredness and expansiveness--the white glow around the figure is his protection and his light.
Body is getting better. Slept earlier and body woke up before 6 am. I sleep back cos today not working. Woke up at 7 am to do my practices.
Still cannot do full guru pooja as voice is still not recovered completely.
Did 5 cycles of Surya kriya. In the first cycle, the right and left elbow was bit pain.
Foot alignment has improved. And two feet nearly touching ground. Breathing was not so easy with the nose blocked.
Breathing was lovely and can see violet flame. Shakti was good too. I was able to focus despite massive drilling noise from neighbour.
Shambavi is good. Love the preparatory steps and I enjoyed Suka kriya. These days my right elbow is able to rest completely on lower chest. So makes Suka kriya effortless.
Towards the end I was singing and dancing. Followed by silence. Moments later I can feel cheeriness slowing moving up. Not joy but cheers. It has a different feel. Almost celebrative.
I thanked all who made this possible for me.
There were some tots of past but it couldn't linger; comes and goes like cloud. Amen.
Finally I feel cheers; the dark clouds hanging over me since last December is finally gone.
Four of Hearts - Jupiter
Sign of protection in love, marriage and family. It the foundation of love upon which a family and life can be built. It is the home of heart.
Open urself up to the abundance of life.
Soul
I normally don't get card of Fours. Even more seldom is Four of Hearts. Great I got this card today. Cheer is in now.
Yesterday when I read the Maturity card under Resolution; I felt bit sceptical. But today I felt a glimmer.
Maturity
This figure stands alone, silent and yet alert. The inner being is filled with flowers--that carry the quality of springtime and regenerate wherever he goes. This inner flowering and the wholeness that he feels affords the possibility of unlimited movement. He can move in any direction--within and without it makes no difference as his joy and and maturity cannot be diminished by externals. He has come to a time of centeredness and expansiveness--the white glow around the figure is his protection and his light.
Osho tarot card - Letting Go ...so true
Sept 18 eve
Woke up from a 3 hour late afternoon nap. Feel rested. Dive in straight for dinner. Didnt do any evening practices.
Osho - Nanak
When u read a book, u interpret the words in ur own way. It is u who reads and u who interprets and ur interpretation cannot be more than u; it cannot transcend ur own understanding. U will attach ur own meanings to the words.
Soul
I think I can now read Cosmic Love with clarity.
This week Osho card that I draw yesterday.
1. Issue
Letting go
Something is finished. Anything that might have helped you to define who u are - it is time to let it go.
Something greater is awaiting u, new dimensions are there to be discovered. You are past the point of no return now, gravity is doing its work. Go with it - it represents liberation.
Soul
Me finally seeing Z as asshole and me an ass dissolve everything. Nothing left. Journey finally complete.
2. Internal Influence
The Rebel
Whether he is healthy or poor, the Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colours of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky.
Soul
Father; no one else is responsible except me. I will set healthy parameters to personal and romantic relationship.
3. External influence which u are aware.
Awareness
Mind can never be intelligent. Only no-mind is intelligent.
The veil of illusion or maya, that has been keeping u from perceiving reality as it is, is starting to burn away. The fire is not the heated fire of passion, but the cool flame of awareness.
Soul
Yes; finally can see the issue behind my relationship challenges in life - no parameters leads to attraction of substandard people and unhealthy or one sided relationship with me feeling dissatisfied.
Alas finally see where I short sell myself. I truly matters and now asserts it.
4. What is needed for resolution
Going with the Flow
Water goes down, it searches for the lowest ground, it wants to be nonentity. It does not want to declare itself unique, exceptional or extraordinary.
Soul
Yea. Mind is now asking me what's next.
Well. Lets rests.
Now body is releasing all the past.
I m not seeing doctor for antibody. Let body excrete all out. Fever has subsides even further.
I will be fine cos I want to be well. Next week will do my Surya kriya refresher.
5. Resolution
Maturity
All of life's experiences have brought him to this time of perfection. This is a gift for hard work well done. Ur base is solid now and success and good fortune are yours for they are the outcome of what has already been experienced within.
Soul
Amen.
5th volume is nearly complete.
Woke up from a 3 hour late afternoon nap. Feel rested. Dive in straight for dinner. Didnt do any evening practices.
Osho - Nanak
When u read a book, u interpret the words in ur own way. It is u who reads and u who interprets and ur interpretation cannot be more than u; it cannot transcend ur own understanding. U will attach ur own meanings to the words.
Soul
I think I can now read Cosmic Love with clarity.
This week Osho card that I draw yesterday.
1. Issue
Letting go
Something is finished. Anything that might have helped you to define who u are - it is time to let it go.
Something greater is awaiting u, new dimensions are there to be discovered. You are past the point of no return now, gravity is doing its work. Go with it - it represents liberation.
Soul
Me finally seeing Z as asshole and me an ass dissolve everything. Nothing left. Journey finally complete.
2. Internal Influence
The Rebel
Whether he is healthy or poor, the Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colours of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky.
Soul
Father; no one else is responsible except me. I will set healthy parameters to personal and romantic relationship.
3. External influence which u are aware.
Awareness
Mind can never be intelligent. Only no-mind is intelligent.
The veil of illusion or maya, that has been keeping u from perceiving reality as it is, is starting to burn away. The fire is not the heated fire of passion, but the cool flame of awareness.
Soul
Yes; finally can see the issue behind my relationship challenges in life - no parameters leads to attraction of substandard people and unhealthy or one sided relationship with me feeling dissatisfied.
Alas finally see where I short sell myself. I truly matters and now asserts it.
4. What is needed for resolution
Going with the Flow
Water goes down, it searches for the lowest ground, it wants to be nonentity. It does not want to declare itself unique, exceptional or extraordinary.
Soul
Yea. Mind is now asking me what's next.
Well. Lets rests.
Now body is releasing all the past.
I m not seeing doctor for antibody. Let body excrete all out. Fever has subsides even further.
I will be fine cos I want to be well. Next week will do my Surya kriya refresher.
5. Resolution
Maturity
All of life's experiences have brought him to this time of perfection. This is a gift for hard work well done. Ur base is solid now and success and good fortune are yours for they are the outcome of what has already been experienced within.
Soul
Amen.
5th volume is nearly complete.
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