Jul 13
Father, its good I want Z as this means my physical door is now open. Amen
Father, tot of how to get more people into guru purnima. Then I decided against it. People will come if they want to. Anyway, we got the info too late. So, cannot do much. But I know we will have the same crowd as sathsang.
Self Reliance
Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for u, the society of ur contemporaries, the connection of events. Great men have always done so, and confided themselves childlike to the genius of their age.
Soul
I am beginning to do so. Anyway, finally did what I tot of.
Internal influence
You are now naked, vulnerable, open to the loving touch of existence. The aura around ur body is full of light, and the quality of relaxation, caring and love that surrounds you is dissolving ur struggle and suffering.
We are no longer hiding from ourselves or others. In this attitude of openness and acceptance, we can be healed, and help others also to be healthy and whole.
Self Reliance
A foolish consistency is the hobglobin of little minds, adored by little statesman and philosophers and divines. If u would be a man, speak today what u think today in words as hard as cannon-balls, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict everything u said today.
Soul
Guess this provides growth. But once u found Truth, all are the same.
Self Reliance
He who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of ur own mind. Absolve u to urself and u shall have the suffrage of the world.
Truth is handsomer than the affectation of love. Your goodness must have some edge to it - else it is none.
I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle.
Soul
What a coincidence. I just put in my profile; "Be true to yourself and the world will be yours"
The msg is for me and for Z too.
Self Reliance
What I must do is all that concerns me, not what people think.
It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps up with perfect sweetness in the independence of solitude
Soul
Tot of boss. She can be true to herself.
Me, I am there. I am slowly but surely open up my writings.
I know one day I will be speaking too. For now, get training in sathsang.
Four of Spades
Recovery from illness and any work related problems. U feel more secure and stable in ur lives.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
The past is no more (7) - A new beginning!
Jul 12
Father, I want and deserved a better rship.
I am not going with Z as his offering has not changed.
My ideal rship is the following;
1) Mental - Rj
2) Physical - Z
3) Spiritual - Th
(Jul 31 - The "YES", becomes a resounding "YES".
Ace of Heart
A search for something inside of our self to help us to love who we are unconditionally. It represent a new relationship beginning.
Soul
How true! I love myself and I don't need anyone to prove my love. I want a better relationship that encompass physical, mental and emotional. I want a secure and committed relationship that allows myself and my partner to grow up and expand individually and together.
I may still have tots of wanting Z, but it is no longer enough. I want and deserve more.
Evening
I am lovable. I can give pleasure lovingly like Z. I can debate and talk intuitively like Rj. I am joyful like Th.
I am really quite an amazing being. Apart from that I have the courage to be true to myself. And I am also low maintenance as I am self-protected and easily contented.
Any guy is really lucky to have me.
But I don't want any guy, I want my true partner who will let me be an integrated true Self.
I am glad I waited till this long to finally decide on who I want. It is a tall order but since God can create me, He too can create a partner for me.
The Power of Intention
If u r attached to the idea of being stuck with the wrong people or no people at all, then ur energy isn't aligned with the power of intention and resistance reigns. The field of intention has no choice but to send u more of what u r desiring.
Once again, make a somersault into the inconceivable, where u have faith and trust in the universal mind of intention, and allow the right people to arrive in ur life space right on schedule.
Soul
Yeap, I am doing that. Coincidentally Seven of Spades is my Pluto in Destiny Year spread. I need not worry and think it for Z only. Our distance has ended and we both enjoyed our journey. And I am forever grateful to him for opening my physical door and for doing it so lovingly.
Yea, its me practising faith that my spiritual mate will find me and that my writing will flourish.
Remove Resistance by Allowing
You want to attract the people who are intended to be part of ur life, and u want to have a happy, fulfilling, spiritual relationship.
Giving forth what u want to attract.
Once you have formed a picture in ur mind of the person or people that u intend to show up in ur immediate life space and u know how u want them to treat u and what they will be like, u must be what it is that u r seeking.
Soul
What an amazing coincidence. I just described what I want and I also realised its who I am, a composition of Z, Th and Rj. I am on the right track, setting myself free for better relationship. Rj used to call me "baby". I got reminded as Aa called me that the other day.
The Power of Intention
Giving forth what u want to attract
This is a universe of attraction and energy. U can't have a desire to attract a mate who is confident, generous, non-judgemental and gentle and expect that desire to be manifested if ur not that way too - which is why most people don't attract the right people at the right time.
The right people will show up precisely when u need them and when u r able to match up. U must be that which u desire. When u r what u desire, u attract it, by radiating it outward. U have this ability to match up with the power of intention and fulfill ur attention to attract ideal people and divine relationships.
Soul
Amen. Father, thank U for making me wait this long, for allowing me to be whole before my spiritual partner finds me.
Father, I want and deserved a better rship.
I am not going with Z as his offering has not changed.
My ideal rship is the following;
1) Mental - Rj
2) Physical - Z
3) Spiritual - Th
(Jul 31 - The "YES", becomes a resounding "YES".
Ace of Heart
A search for something inside of our self to help us to love who we are unconditionally. It represent a new relationship beginning.
Soul
How true! I love myself and I don't need anyone to prove my love. I want a better relationship that encompass physical, mental and emotional. I want a secure and committed relationship that allows myself and my partner to grow up and expand individually and together.
I may still have tots of wanting Z, but it is no longer enough. I want and deserve more.
Evening
I am lovable. I can give pleasure lovingly like Z. I can debate and talk intuitively like Rj. I am joyful like Th.
I am really quite an amazing being. Apart from that I have the courage to be true to myself. And I am also low maintenance as I am self-protected and easily contented.
Any guy is really lucky to have me.
But I don't want any guy, I want my true partner who will let me be an integrated true Self.
I am glad I waited till this long to finally decide on who I want. It is a tall order but since God can create me, He too can create a partner for me.
The Power of Intention
If u r attached to the idea of being stuck with the wrong people or no people at all, then ur energy isn't aligned with the power of intention and resistance reigns. The field of intention has no choice but to send u more of what u r desiring.
Once again, make a somersault into the inconceivable, where u have faith and trust in the universal mind of intention, and allow the right people to arrive in ur life space right on schedule.
Soul
Yeap, I am doing that. Coincidentally Seven of Spades is my Pluto in Destiny Year spread. I need not worry and think it for Z only. Our distance has ended and we both enjoyed our journey. And I am forever grateful to him for opening my physical door and for doing it so lovingly.
Yea, its me practising faith that my spiritual mate will find me and that my writing will flourish.
Remove Resistance by Allowing
You want to attract the people who are intended to be part of ur life, and u want to have a happy, fulfilling, spiritual relationship.
Giving forth what u want to attract.
Once you have formed a picture in ur mind of the person or people that u intend to show up in ur immediate life space and u know how u want them to treat u and what they will be like, u must be what it is that u r seeking.
Soul
What an amazing coincidence. I just described what I want and I also realised its who I am, a composition of Z, Th and Rj. I am on the right track, setting myself free for better relationship. Rj used to call me "baby". I got reminded as Aa called me that the other day.
The Power of Intention
Giving forth what u want to attract
This is a universe of attraction and energy. U can't have a desire to attract a mate who is confident, generous, non-judgemental and gentle and expect that desire to be manifested if ur not that way too - which is why most people don't attract the right people at the right time.
The right people will show up precisely when u need them and when u r able to match up. U must be that which u desire. When u r what u desire, u attract it, by radiating it outward. U have this ability to match up with the power of intention and fulfill ur attention to attract ideal people and divine relationships.
Soul
Amen. Father, thank U for making me wait this long, for allowing me to be whole before my spiritual partner finds me.
Cosmic Lesson (75) - wavering of ending (7)
Jul 11 Eve
Father, I want him but I deserved a normal relationship.
He cannot give me that. Anyway, no worries. I only see him once a month. And he will find a replacement.
For now, I just want to focus on my writing. I don't need him to to show I am lovable. I am lovable because I love myself.
External influence
We are the world
This card represents a time of communication, of sharing the riches that each of us bring to the whole.
We can combine our tremendous inner wealth to create a treasure of love and wisdom that is available to all.
What is needed for resolution?
Schizophrenia
Man is split. If u want to say 'yes', immediately the 'no' is there. U cannot even utter a simple word 'yes' with totality. In this way happiness is not possible.
Whatever decision we make, we will always wonder if we should have decided the other way. The only way out of this dilemma is, unfortunately, let go of both at once. Better follow ur heart. If u can't find it, just jump -- ur heart will start beating so fast there will be no mistake about where it is!
Soul
I am not saying no to him as I do want him. But I know I want to have a normal rship and he can't give that to me. Besides, we have different goals in life.
Anyway, nothing to decide. He is not barking at my door anyway. He will let me go.
5. The Understanding
Laziness
This poolside resort is not ur final destination. The journey isn't over yet, as that white bird flying into the vastness of the sky is trying to show.
Ur complacency might have arisen from a real sense of achievement, but now its time to move one. No matter how fuzzy the slippers, how tasty the pina colada, there are skies upon skies still waiting to be explored.
(Jul 31 - guess this is about me having to pursue my Destiny)
Father, I want him but I deserved a normal relationship.
He cannot give me that. Anyway, no worries. I only see him once a month. And he will find a replacement.
For now, I just want to focus on my writing. I don't need him to to show I am lovable. I am lovable because I love myself.
External influence
We are the world
This card represents a time of communication, of sharing the riches that each of us bring to the whole.
We can combine our tremendous inner wealth to create a treasure of love and wisdom that is available to all.
What is needed for resolution?
Schizophrenia
Man is split. If u want to say 'yes', immediately the 'no' is there. U cannot even utter a simple word 'yes' with totality. In this way happiness is not possible.
Whatever decision we make, we will always wonder if we should have decided the other way. The only way out of this dilemma is, unfortunately, let go of both at once. Better follow ur heart. If u can't find it, just jump -- ur heart will start beating so fast there will be no mistake about where it is!
Soul
I am not saying no to him as I do want him. But I know I want to have a normal rship and he can't give that to me. Besides, we have different goals in life.
Anyway, nothing to decide. He is not barking at my door anyway. He will let me go.
5. The Understanding
Laziness
This poolside resort is not ur final destination. The journey isn't over yet, as that white bird flying into the vastness of the sky is trying to show.
Ur complacency might have arisen from a real sense of achievement, but now its time to move one. No matter how fuzzy the slippers, how tasty the pina colada, there are skies upon skies still waiting to be explored.
(Jul 31 - guess this is about me having to pursue my Destiny)
Cosmic Lesson (74) - wavering of ending (6)
Jul 11 Aft
Father, meeting was called off. And I decided to go on mc as the cold is not getting better. If I see now, by Thursday I will be fine for guru poornima and Friday for lassik.
Check on the Eczema
Breath taking antagonism
Mental eruptions/turmoil
Well, at first I was having angry tots at Z and I also face turmoil in letting go. Seeing him again brings back memories that I tot I forgotten. Especially more so, when he too doesn't want to let go. He wanted to have his cake and eat too.
Yesterday I claimed I didn't want him and said I was disappointed but my dream claimed otherwise.
1. The Issue
Projections
The man and woman in this card are facing each other, yet they are not able to see each other clearly. Each is projecting an image they have constructed in their minds, covering the real face of the person they are looking at. We project whenever we r not fully aware of our own expectations, desires and judgements; instead of taking responsibility for them and owning them, we try to attribute them to others.
Does what u see in others really belong to u? Is ur vision clear or clouded by what u want to see!
Soul
I am flabbergasted at Z. I tot we clearly said we r over and I went through the turmoil of break up. To Z, it is not over and he even had the gall to ask me why I didn't call him for so long and start to tickle me. Arrogant bastard!
I am angry at him and if he really wanted me, why didn't he call. He let us break up and now expect me to return.
I am angry cos I tot my lesson is over but looks like its not. I told God that if I am meant to still be with him, he will be back. And looks like God is giving me answers.
The question is whether;
1. I didn't do a total drop and now have to complete it; or
2. I have to continue with him, but negotiated terms
3. I have to continue status quo - worst case.
But the thing is even negotiated term I am also worried cos I am not sure I want to be entangled in his financial drama. He is in bad shape and still not facing facts.
If status quo, means I have lost myself. To me, I don't love myself enough to give myself a committed rship which is what I want.
I really don't know. What I know is I want him physically. My body is hungry for him. Then I am worried if I could be such a shallow person and someone who doesn't love myself.
And if I go in, I am not sure if I can handle myself and this time we would have complete the cycle. Knowing us, it would be wonderful, which makes it hard even harder to break.
Father, I don't want to feel hurt again.
What am I projecting on him???
2. Internal influence
Healing
The less the head, the more the wound will heal; with no head there is no wound.
Move as a total being, and accept things. It is time when the deeply buried wounds of the past are coming to the surface, ready and available to be healed.
When we are under the healing influence of the King of Water, we are no longer hiding from ourselves or others.
In this attitude of openness and acceptance we can be healed, and help others also to be healthy and whole.
Soul
Not sure if I am right. I tot of my judgement on Z and his need for status, his financial drama. I want financial security.
Then I tot of my need for freedom and no children. He wants children.
For him, how people view him is important, his dream is Eight of Heart
For me, having personal and financial freedom, I am then freed to pursue my dream of Self mastery. I just want to rest and be freed of any obligation and responsibility.
So, we both don't get everything we want.
Father, suddenly a positive tot came. If after my break up drama, Z still let me be and waiting for me to come back to him. He is bigger than me.
I broke up with him because I don't want to be hurt. I cannot have a break up looming over my head. I cannot have someone asking me to control my feeling.
I don't want drama.
3. External influence
We are the world
Life has been given to u to create, and to rejoice and to celebrate.
When u cry and weep, when u r miserable, u r alone.
When u celebrate, the whole existence participates
Father, meeting was called off. And I decided to go on mc as the cold is not getting better. If I see now, by Thursday I will be fine for guru poornima and Friday for lassik.
Check on the Eczema
Breath taking antagonism
Mental eruptions/turmoil
Well, at first I was having angry tots at Z and I also face turmoil in letting go. Seeing him again brings back memories that I tot I forgotten. Especially more so, when he too doesn't want to let go. He wanted to have his cake and eat too.
Yesterday I claimed I didn't want him and said I was disappointed but my dream claimed otherwise.
1. The Issue
Projections
The man and woman in this card are facing each other, yet they are not able to see each other clearly. Each is projecting an image they have constructed in their minds, covering the real face of the person they are looking at. We project whenever we r not fully aware of our own expectations, desires and judgements; instead of taking responsibility for them and owning them, we try to attribute them to others.
Does what u see in others really belong to u? Is ur vision clear or clouded by what u want to see!
Soul
I am flabbergasted at Z. I tot we clearly said we r over and I went through the turmoil of break up. To Z, it is not over and he even had the gall to ask me why I didn't call him for so long and start to tickle me. Arrogant bastard!
I am angry at him and if he really wanted me, why didn't he call. He let us break up and now expect me to return.
I am angry cos I tot my lesson is over but looks like its not. I told God that if I am meant to still be with him, he will be back. And looks like God is giving me answers.
The question is whether;
1. I didn't do a total drop and now have to complete it; or
2. I have to continue with him, but negotiated terms
3. I have to continue status quo - worst case.
But the thing is even negotiated term I am also worried cos I am not sure I want to be entangled in his financial drama. He is in bad shape and still not facing facts.
If status quo, means I have lost myself. To me, I don't love myself enough to give myself a committed rship which is what I want.
I really don't know. What I know is I want him physically. My body is hungry for him. Then I am worried if I could be such a shallow person and someone who doesn't love myself.
And if I go in, I am not sure if I can handle myself and this time we would have complete the cycle. Knowing us, it would be wonderful, which makes it hard even harder to break.
Father, I don't want to feel hurt again.
What am I projecting on him???
2. Internal influence
Healing
The less the head, the more the wound will heal; with no head there is no wound.
Move as a total being, and accept things. It is time when the deeply buried wounds of the past are coming to the surface, ready and available to be healed.
When we are under the healing influence of the King of Water, we are no longer hiding from ourselves or others.
In this attitude of openness and acceptance we can be healed, and help others also to be healthy and whole.
Soul
Not sure if I am right. I tot of my judgement on Z and his need for status, his financial drama. I want financial security.
Then I tot of my need for freedom and no children. He wants children.
For him, how people view him is important, his dream is Eight of Heart
For me, having personal and financial freedom, I am then freed to pursue my dream of Self mastery. I just want to rest and be freed of any obligation and responsibility.
So, we both don't get everything we want.
Father, suddenly a positive tot came. If after my break up drama, Z still let me be and waiting for me to come back to him. He is bigger than me.
I broke up with him because I don't want to be hurt. I cannot have a break up looming over my head. I cannot have someone asking me to control my feeling.
I don't want drama.
3. External influence
We are the world
Life has been given to u to create, and to rejoice and to celebrate.
When u cry and weep, when u r miserable, u r alone.
When u celebrate, the whole existence participates
Cosmic Lesson (73) - wavering of ending (5)
Jul 11
Father, I am having a bad cold. But I tot this could be a discharge as I moved to another level.
I woke up with a bad cold. I did suria quite good considering the bad cold and I couldn't breathe properly.
The swell in my right elbow and left wrist has reduced and there is no more pain.
Had a dream about Z. Will try to interpret later. I tot I didn't want him that much, but I dreamt of him. Actually, if I am not mistaken, this is the first time I dreamed of him intimately.
Self Reliance - RWE
From within or from behind, a light shines through us upon things, and makes us aware that we are nothing, but the light is all. A man is the facade of a temple wherein all wisdom and all good abide.
Soul
Suddenly had tots of Z. I know I still want him. And he is waiting for me.
Self Reliance - RWE
When the universal soul breathes through a man intellect, it is genius
When it breathes through his will, it is virtue.
When it flows through his affection, it is love.
And the blindness of the intellect begins when it would be something of itself. The weakness of the will begins when the individual would be something of himself.
All reforms aims, in some one particular, to let the universal soul have its way through us; in other words, to engage us to obey.
The heart which abandons itself to the Supreme Mind finds itself related to all its works, and will travel a royal road to particular knowledges and powers.
Soul
Suddenly tot of myself.
Self Reliance - RWE
There is a difference between one and another hour of life in their authority and subsequent effect. Our faith comes in moments; our vice is habitual.
Yet there is a depth in those brief moments which constrains us to ascribe more reality to them than to all other experiences.
Soul
I wonder about the anology that mind project and extrapolates where's the Self would just states facts, no extrapolation.
Self Reliance
We distinguish the announcements of the soul, its manifestations of its own nature, by the term, Revelation. These are always attended by the emotion of sublime.
A thrill pass through all men at the reception of new truth, or at the performance of a great action, which comes out of the heart of nature.
Soul
I know
Eczema
Breath taking antagonism
Mental eruptions/turmoil
Affirmation
Harmony, peace, love and joy surrounds me and indwell in me. I am safe and secure.
Father, I am having a bad cold. But I tot this could be a discharge as I moved to another level.
I woke up with a bad cold. I did suria quite good considering the bad cold and I couldn't breathe properly.
The swell in my right elbow and left wrist has reduced and there is no more pain.
Had a dream about Z. Will try to interpret later. I tot I didn't want him that much, but I dreamt of him. Actually, if I am not mistaken, this is the first time I dreamed of him intimately.
Self Reliance - RWE
From within or from behind, a light shines through us upon things, and makes us aware that we are nothing, but the light is all. A man is the facade of a temple wherein all wisdom and all good abide.
Soul
Suddenly had tots of Z. I know I still want him. And he is waiting for me.
Self Reliance - RWE
When the universal soul breathes through a man intellect, it is genius
When it breathes through his will, it is virtue.
When it flows through his affection, it is love.
And the blindness of the intellect begins when it would be something of itself. The weakness of the will begins when the individual would be something of himself.
All reforms aims, in some one particular, to let the universal soul have its way through us; in other words, to engage us to obey.
The heart which abandons itself to the Supreme Mind finds itself related to all its works, and will travel a royal road to particular knowledges and powers.
Soul
Suddenly tot of myself.
Self Reliance - RWE
There is a difference between one and another hour of life in their authority and subsequent effect. Our faith comes in moments; our vice is habitual.
Yet there is a depth in those brief moments which constrains us to ascribe more reality to them than to all other experiences.
Soul
I wonder about the anology that mind project and extrapolates where's the Self would just states facts, no extrapolation.
Self Reliance
We distinguish the announcements of the soul, its manifestations of its own nature, by the term, Revelation. These are always attended by the emotion of sublime.
A thrill pass through all men at the reception of new truth, or at the performance of a great action, which comes out of the heart of nature.
Soul
I know
Eczema
Breath taking antagonism
Mental eruptions/turmoil
Affirmation
Harmony, peace, love and joy surrounds me and indwell in me. I am safe and secure.
The Nodes are correct!
Jul 10 Eve
Father, its mind boggling. I just met Z today and he tot we are still on.
When we were alone, he start to tickle me. I told him to stop the first time. Second round he did it again.He asked me why I haven't call him for such a long time? He even kid about telling a friend about us.
He is either so dense (for god sake) or so arrogant. He tot I would come running despite declaring we are off, after 3 rounds of discussion.
So, the Nodes were right about him. He really tot he is God's gift to women. He thinks that he is the king in relationship, playing the mind game.
And he got gentler women who either pant up to him or gave up on him.
Well, I am neither panning nor give up.
I will give him straight especially after reading his Nodes.
Also I was disappointed in him for following the mini-celebrity. He wanted the status. Just like he wanted the status when he said he would take to return the money.
Today I met an Isha guy who does website development. I will outsource it to him as V is too busy. He asked for my website and I gave it to him. I was bit surprised that I wasn't shy when I told him the site. Perhaps he doesn't know me and hence it is fine.
Today sathsang was great, the energy was doubled of last week. I am looking forward to guru poornima.
Father, I am disappointed in Z. He has so much power and can stand on his own and yet seek others or things to beef himself up.
Mmm, do I do that?
Anyway, I have no inclination to call him. I was surprised that
Father, my skin allergy on my body is cleared but suddenly I developed ezema. I used to have a little spot and now it trippled. Will find out the issue.
I just realised I wrote a couple 'disappointment' on Z. One thing I know is while I am still attracted to him, I now see his South Node in Leo obviously and it is not a good sight. So, net is that I won't contact him. We are cleared that we can talk to each other as normal. I have made my peace with him. All the drama in my mind is not real. Even the fiasco of yday evening and this afternoon about him deleting me is also not real.
Father, even if he decide to open up on us, I don't want to continue with him cos I deserved and I want a committed relationship, not something touch and go. I wanted to settle down with my partner. I wanted someone like me, whom I can connect to on spiritual side.
Father, what I see in him. So, much drama, reluctance to do practices and yet claimed to be in - shallow, so much in denial mode. And just like M, so much 'complaint' and yet never changed.
What I saw earlier of him being a self-made man, was his potential. I fell for his potentials and now I saw his shadows.
I am the type, if I know I would change. And he is not that type. For me, nothing to lose.
Father, its mind boggling. I just met Z today and he tot we are still on.
When we were alone, he start to tickle me. I told him to stop the first time. Second round he did it again.He asked me why I haven't call him for such a long time? He even kid about telling a friend about us.
He is either so dense (for god sake) or so arrogant. He tot I would come running despite declaring we are off, after 3 rounds of discussion.
So, the Nodes were right about him. He really tot he is God's gift to women. He thinks that he is the king in relationship, playing the mind game.
And he got gentler women who either pant up to him or gave up on him.
Well, I am neither panning nor give up.
I will give him straight especially after reading his Nodes.
Also I was disappointed in him for following the mini-celebrity. He wanted the status. Just like he wanted the status when he said he would take to return the money.
Today I met an Isha guy who does website development. I will outsource it to him as V is too busy. He asked for my website and I gave it to him. I was bit surprised that I wasn't shy when I told him the site. Perhaps he doesn't know me and hence it is fine.
Today sathsang was great, the energy was doubled of last week. I am looking forward to guru poornima.
Father, I am disappointed in Z. He has so much power and can stand on his own and yet seek others or things to beef himself up.
Mmm, do I do that?
Anyway, I have no inclination to call him. I was surprised that
Father, my skin allergy on my body is cleared but suddenly I developed ezema. I used to have a little spot and now it trippled. Will find out the issue.
I just realised I wrote a couple 'disappointment' on Z. One thing I know is while I am still attracted to him, I now see his South Node in Leo obviously and it is not a good sight. So, net is that I won't contact him. We are cleared that we can talk to each other as normal. I have made my peace with him. All the drama in my mind is not real. Even the fiasco of yday evening and this afternoon about him deleting me is also not real.
Father, even if he decide to open up on us, I don't want to continue with him cos I deserved and I want a committed relationship, not something touch and go. I wanted to settle down with my partner. I wanted someone like me, whom I can connect to on spiritual side.
Father, what I see in him. So, much drama, reluctance to do practices and yet claimed to be in - shallow, so much in denial mode. And just like M, so much 'complaint' and yet never changed.
What I saw earlier of him being a self-made man, was his potential. I fell for his potentials and now I saw his shadows.
I am the type, if I know I would change. And he is not that type. For me, nothing to lose.
The past is no more (6) - Even the grass is alive!
Jul 10
Father, I saw and connect with the grass. They were so beautiful, even the long dry trunks that crawl on them looks good too.
The grass was so lovely and they awed me with their beauty, their serenity.
Father, I know I will just write whatever I experience. As my mode of writing is self expression. I need not wait for a great happenings. I need not be bothered about the length of my stories.
They are not stories, they are my musings, my observation, my self-expression.
I am not sure of being a full fledged writer.
Jul 10 Aft
Father, thanks to Z. I am now comfortable physically. And its true, he didn't exaggerate about his attributes.
Read his Nodes this morning and I keep on smiling about him. I wonder how will he react. He could be going back to those days of pretending I doesn't exist. For me, I will just keep smiling at him. I am thankful for the journey we had and he is always in my daily prayer of thanks. Going with him and then breaking up with him has given me so much liberation.
So, how can I dismissed him.
The Power of Intention
Any thought that puts a barrier between what u would like to have and ur ability to attract it into ur life is resistance.
Ur intention is to live a tranquil life, free of stress and anxiety.
Making ur intention ur Reality
1. Your natural state is joy.
I come from peace and joy. I must stay in harmony with that from which I came in order to fulfill my dreams and desires.
I choose to stay in my natural state. Anytime, I am anxious, stressed out, depressed or fearful, I have abandoned my natural state.
2. Your thoughts, not the world, cause your stress
Your tots activate stressful reactions in ur body. Stressful tots create resistance to the joy, happiness and abundance that u desire to create in ur life.
3. You can change ur tots of stress in any given moment, and eliminate the anxiety for the next few moments, or even hours and days.
You can't be connected to ur Source and be stressed at the same time. You have left behind ur capacity to manifest ur desires when u don't choose in the moment to eliminate a stressful tots.
4. Monitor ur stressful tots by checking on ur emotional state right now
"Do I feel good right now?"
This monitoring process keeps u apprised of whether u r on the path of least resistance or going in the other direction.
5. Make a conscious choice to select a tot that will activate good feelings.
6. Spend some times observing babies and vow to emulate their joy
They are still in harmony with the Source that intended them here; they have no resistance to being joyful. You don't need a reason to be happy .... ur desire to be so is sufficient.
7. Keep rule No.6 in mind.
Father, I saw and connect with the grass. They were so beautiful, even the long dry trunks that crawl on them looks good too.
The grass was so lovely and they awed me with their beauty, their serenity.
Father, I know I will just write whatever I experience. As my mode of writing is self expression. I need not wait for a great happenings. I need not be bothered about the length of my stories.
They are not stories, they are my musings, my observation, my self-expression.
I am not sure of being a full fledged writer.
Jul 10 Aft
Father, thanks to Z. I am now comfortable physically. And its true, he didn't exaggerate about his attributes.
Read his Nodes this morning and I keep on smiling about him. I wonder how will he react. He could be going back to those days of pretending I doesn't exist. For me, I will just keep smiling at him. I am thankful for the journey we had and he is always in my daily prayer of thanks. Going with him and then breaking up with him has given me so much liberation.
So, how can I dismissed him.
The Power of Intention
Any thought that puts a barrier between what u would like to have and ur ability to attract it into ur life is resistance.
Ur intention is to live a tranquil life, free of stress and anxiety.
Making ur intention ur Reality
1. Your natural state is joy.
I come from peace and joy. I must stay in harmony with that from which I came in order to fulfill my dreams and desires.
I choose to stay in my natural state. Anytime, I am anxious, stressed out, depressed or fearful, I have abandoned my natural state.
2. Your thoughts, not the world, cause your stress
Your tots activate stressful reactions in ur body. Stressful tots create resistance to the joy, happiness and abundance that u desire to create in ur life.
3. You can change ur tots of stress in any given moment, and eliminate the anxiety for the next few moments, or even hours and days.
You can't be connected to ur Source and be stressed at the same time. You have left behind ur capacity to manifest ur desires when u don't choose in the moment to eliminate a stressful tots.
4. Monitor ur stressful tots by checking on ur emotional state right now
"Do I feel good right now?"
This monitoring process keeps u apprised of whether u r on the path of least resistance or going in the other direction.
5. Make a conscious choice to select a tot that will activate good feelings.
6. Spend some times observing babies and vow to emulate their joy
They are still in harmony with the Source that intended them here; they have no resistance to being joyful. You don't need a reason to be happy .... ur desire to be so is sufficient.
7. Keep rule No.6 in mind.
Fulfilling my destiny (4) - need faith/will power
Jul 9 Eve
Father, I called Z around 5 pm but there was no response. I msg him but also no response. Of course the mind is working overtime. But this time it doesn't take over as there is no expectation.
Besides, I have done my part and his non-response is no longer a reflection of my lovability. He once told me that once we are off, he would delete me. Of course, today his is Eight of Club - fixed.
And I already know that if Z was meant to be in my life, he will be back. If he is not, then so be it. For me, my Six of Diamond, settlement and I complete my Osho for the week
1. Breakthru in samyama
2. Breakthru in msg Z
3. Breakthru in calling Z
4. Breakthru in accepting the finale.
Suddenly I laughed when I tot of Z's non-response. So, him. I can just visualise it, he cuts me off, don't do anything with me.
(Jul 31 - my own drama in my mind. I was amazed when he told me that he is still waiting for us to resume our physical relationship.)
Self Reliance - RWE
Spiritual Laws
The whole course of things goes to teach us faith. We need only obey. There is guidance for each of us, and by lowly listening, we shall hear the right word.
Each man has his own vocation. The talent is the call. He inclines to do something which is easy to him, and good when it is done, but which no other man can do.
His ambition is exactly proportioned to his powers. Every man has this call of the power to do something unique, and no man has any other call. By doing his work, he makes the need felt which he can supply, and creates the taste by which he is enjoyed. By doing his own work, he unfolds himself.
Soul
My talent is as follow;
- self-expression
- insight
- receptivity to spiritual insight and energy
- application of tools
- empathy
- intuitive
Self Reliance
The Soul will not know either deformity or pain. All loss, all pain, is particular; the universe remains to the heart unhurt.
For it is only the finite that has wrought and suffered; the infinite lies stretched in smiling repose.
Soul
For the first time I can relate to it. I can take Z's no response. Amen.
Internal influence
Breakthrough
If u r now feeling that "enough is enough", allow urself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept ur energy from flowing. In doing so, u will be amazed at the vitality and empowerment this Breakthrough bring to ur life.
Soul
Amen.
Father, just now when I did the Wishing meditation; my wish as follows
1. 2 to 3 months - make peace with Z
2. 3 years - holding 2 jobs; one is my corporate job and second is my writing.
3. Lifetime - a famous author and speaker.
Yea, me getting myself right and not hope for my partner to do it for me. Knowing my Nodes help me to be focused on myself.
Self Reliance
No man can learn what he has no preparation for learning, however near to his eyes is the object. God screens us evermore from premature ideas. Our eyes are holden that we cannot see things that stare us in the face, until the hour arrives when the mind is ripened; then we behold them, and the time when we saw them not is like a dream.
Soul
Tot of the Nodes. I got back to them after separation with Z.
Self Reliance - Writings
The effect of any writing on the public mind is mathematically measurable by its depths of thought.
The way to speak and write that shall not go out of fashion is to speak and write sincerely.
Soul
Father, I wrote an article and I wasn't overly concerned on its length. Again, its the journey and not the distance.
Self Reliance
Life alone can impart life; and though we should burst, we can only be valued as we make ourselves valuable.
Soul
Tot of my anology; we can only be loves as we make ourselves lovable.
Father, I called Z around 5 pm but there was no response. I msg him but also no response. Of course the mind is working overtime. But this time it doesn't take over as there is no expectation.
Besides, I have done my part and his non-response is no longer a reflection of my lovability. He once told me that once we are off, he would delete me. Of course, today his is Eight of Club - fixed.
And I already know that if Z was meant to be in my life, he will be back. If he is not, then so be it. For me, my Six of Diamond, settlement and I complete my Osho for the week
1. Breakthru in samyama
2. Breakthru in msg Z
3. Breakthru in calling Z
4. Breakthru in accepting the finale.
Suddenly I laughed when I tot of Z's non-response. So, him. I can just visualise it, he cuts me off, don't do anything with me.
(Jul 31 - my own drama in my mind. I was amazed when he told me that he is still waiting for us to resume our physical relationship.)
Self Reliance - RWE
Spiritual Laws
The whole course of things goes to teach us faith. We need only obey. There is guidance for each of us, and by lowly listening, we shall hear the right word.
Each man has his own vocation. The talent is the call. He inclines to do something which is easy to him, and good when it is done, but which no other man can do.
His ambition is exactly proportioned to his powers. Every man has this call of the power to do something unique, and no man has any other call. By doing his work, he makes the need felt which he can supply, and creates the taste by which he is enjoyed. By doing his own work, he unfolds himself.
Soul
My talent is as follow;
- self-expression
- insight
- receptivity to spiritual insight and energy
- application of tools
- empathy
- intuitive
Self Reliance
The Soul will not know either deformity or pain. All loss, all pain, is particular; the universe remains to the heart unhurt.
For it is only the finite that has wrought and suffered; the infinite lies stretched in smiling repose.
Soul
For the first time I can relate to it. I can take Z's no response. Amen.
Internal influence
Breakthrough
If u r now feeling that "enough is enough", allow urself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept ur energy from flowing. In doing so, u will be amazed at the vitality and empowerment this Breakthrough bring to ur life.
Soul
Amen.
Father, just now when I did the Wishing meditation; my wish as follows
1. 2 to 3 months - make peace with Z
2. 3 years - holding 2 jobs; one is my corporate job and second is my writing.
3. Lifetime - a famous author and speaker.
Yea, me getting myself right and not hope for my partner to do it for me. Knowing my Nodes help me to be focused on myself.
Self Reliance
No man can learn what he has no preparation for learning, however near to his eyes is the object. God screens us evermore from premature ideas. Our eyes are holden that we cannot see things that stare us in the face, until the hour arrives when the mind is ripened; then we behold them, and the time when we saw them not is like a dream.
Soul
Tot of the Nodes. I got back to them after separation with Z.
Self Reliance - Writings
The effect of any writing on the public mind is mathematically measurable by its depths of thought.
The way to speak and write that shall not go out of fashion is to speak and write sincerely.
Soul
Father, I wrote an article and I wasn't overly concerned on its length. Again, its the journey and not the distance.
Self Reliance
Life alone can impart life; and though we should burst, we can only be valued as we make ourselves valuable.
Soul
Tot of my anology; we can only be loves as we make ourselves lovable.
Journey that matters, not the distance
Jul 9
Fantastic swim. As I was swimming and focused on the moment, I was enjoying the water
Its the Journey that matters and not the distance that matters. Z and I had a good journey. We both played our role well.
I swam another 2 rounds just enjoying the journey. I think I finally got it.
Tot of sharing with Z but then decided against it. I still have feelings for him and I want him. So, don't open up.
Suddenly a tot came, Be a fool.
I find it difficult to be a fool. If I forget, I will get hurt again. I don't want to go there anymore. He already said his finale. And besides he wanted children and I don't.
Just did my sathsang. My short term, 2 months was to make peace with Z. I called him and no reply. Maybe, peace is already done.
Sadhguru
You make yourself receptive by becoming less of yourself.
Sadhana absorbs u into activity in such a way that in the daily process of living, u forget who u r. U forget what u r. U forget what ur life is about. U r just absorbed into what is happening.
Soul
Yea, I don't take myself seriously. When I sit for meditation, I just allow whatever to be. To me, my role is just to meditate and outcome is never mine to dictate.
Just like samyama, I sat for 1 and half years and finally it taking fruits.
Fantastic swim. As I was swimming and focused on the moment, I was enjoying the water
Its the Journey that matters and not the distance that matters. Z and I had a good journey. We both played our role well.
I swam another 2 rounds just enjoying the journey. I think I finally got it.
Tot of sharing with Z but then decided against it. I still have feelings for him and I want him. So, don't open up.
Suddenly a tot came, Be a fool.
I find it difficult to be a fool. If I forget, I will get hurt again. I don't want to go there anymore. He already said his finale. And besides he wanted children and I don't.
Just did my sathsang. My short term, 2 months was to make peace with Z. I called him and no reply. Maybe, peace is already done.
Sadhguru
You make yourself receptive by becoming less of yourself.
Sadhana absorbs u into activity in such a way that in the daily process of living, u forget who u r. U forget what u r. U forget what ur life is about. U r just absorbed into what is happening.
Soul
Yea, I don't take myself seriously. When I sit for meditation, I just allow whatever to be. To me, my role is just to meditate and outcome is never mine to dictate.
Just like samyama, I sat for 1 and half years and finally it taking fruits.
Feeling good connect you to the Source and vice versa
Jul 8 Eve
Self-Reliance
The actual carrying out of divine imperatives demands effort, self-discipline, perseverance and courage.
But if u live in the light, the divine spirit will supply you with those qualities along with its imperatives, for true understanding carries such force that it does not remain intellectual; we feel compelled to put in our insight into action at once.
If we know we are simply agents of God and God is acting through us, we find determination, courage and strength. What we might be too timid, or too lazy, to do for ourselves, we for God within us.
Soul
I hope so.
But I do learnt about determination from Z. That's what I admire about him. His determination led him to be a self-made man.
Self-reliance
A person who loves the divine spirit is wise and virtuous, loving, sincere, honourable, self-reliant, self-disciplined, generous and nonviolent. Such a person acts responsibly and reasonably and does what needs to be done. He or she is capable of governing himself or herself, not only morally but also politically.
The whole point of life - is for each of us to strive to develop that access to Universal Soul so that the insights it provides will govern all our thoughts and actions.
The great adventure of life is to discover how the spirit will express itself through us and along what paths it will lead to.
Evening
Father, I am tired. I have a cold, my throat is sore and I just want to sleep.
The Power of Intention
To live a stress-free and tranquil life is a way of manifesting ur grandest destiny. It is intended for us to have happy and joyous experiences of life.
When u r in the state of exuberant joy, u r at peace with everything. In a state of joy, u feel fulfilled and inspired in all facets of ur life. In short, gaining freedom from anxiety and stress is a pathway to rejoicing with the field of intention.
To feel good is a way of connecting to Spirit. U become an instrument of peace.
By feeling bad, u stay in the energy field that creates resistance to positive change and experience a stressful, anxious state as a by-product.
Self-Reliance
The actual carrying out of divine imperatives demands effort, self-discipline, perseverance and courage.
But if u live in the light, the divine spirit will supply you with those qualities along with its imperatives, for true understanding carries such force that it does not remain intellectual; we feel compelled to put in our insight into action at once.
If we know we are simply agents of God and God is acting through us, we find determination, courage and strength. What we might be too timid, or too lazy, to do for ourselves, we for God within us.
Soul
I hope so.
But I do learnt about determination from Z. That's what I admire about him. His determination led him to be a self-made man.
Self-reliance
A person who loves the divine spirit is wise and virtuous, loving, sincere, honourable, self-reliant, self-disciplined, generous and nonviolent. Such a person acts responsibly and reasonably and does what needs to be done. He or she is capable of governing himself or herself, not only morally but also politically.
The whole point of life - is for each of us to strive to develop that access to Universal Soul so that the insights it provides will govern all our thoughts and actions.
The great adventure of life is to discover how the spirit will express itself through us and along what paths it will lead to.
Evening
Father, I am tired. I have a cold, my throat is sore and I just want to sleep.
The Power of Intention
To live a stress-free and tranquil life is a way of manifesting ur grandest destiny. It is intended for us to have happy and joyous experiences of life.
When u r in the state of exuberant joy, u r at peace with everything. In a state of joy, u feel fulfilled and inspired in all facets of ur life. In short, gaining freedom from anxiety and stress is a pathway to rejoicing with the field of intention.
To feel good is a way of connecting to Spirit. U become an instrument of peace.
By feeling bad, u stay in the energy field that creates resistance to positive change and experience a stressful, anxious state as a by-product.
Self Reliance is equivalent to Self Mastery
Jul 8
Ralph Waldo Emerson (RW)
He was not an academic philosopher or theologian: he was, rather a wise man who wrote with passion and eloquence, who sought to inflame his countrymen with and understanding of life that would guarantee true freedom, dignity and fulfillment to all.
I learn that God IS; that He is in me; and that all things are shadow of Him. At those moments when the individual soul, which is God, dominates ur consciousness and determine ur actions, then u not only perform an act of deepest reverence but actually participate in the divine.
The Universal Soul is the ultimate Self - absolutely independent, totally spontaneous, supremely intelligent and powerful. It is utterly Self-Reliant.
Having faith in that immutable fact, our soul "calms itself with knowing that all things go well" (Self-Reliance).
The central challenge in life is to realise that each of us is potentially a microcosm of the relationship between the Universal Soul and the universe. When u see God in all the workings of the world, then u will naturally have faith that all happens is for the best.
For example, as bitter as they may be, crisis and tragedy are often the most powerful catalysts for positive change.
The more fully u recognise those truths, and the more constantly u can act with them in mind, the more u become like the Universal soul, which is to say that u become more self-reliant. When u r self-reliant, u fulfill the divine potential within urself. You emulate God, and there can be no higher good than that.
Soul
That's my path; self mastery is the equivalent of self-reliant. This book is exactly what I need now, to have faith. I bought and read this book back in 2000 and now re-reading 10 years later.
Self-reliant
Faith in the Universal Soul is the key to fulfillment. If u have such faith, ur life becomes filled with spiritual light. U then act with the wisdom, courage, strength and love that such light bestows.
When u recognised the Universal Soul in all persons and all events, u r enlightened, which is to say u live in the light.
If u live in the light, u will go through life with a feeling of security, for u will have a sense of prosperity and well-being that does not depend upon ur material circumstances. U will cease from what is base and frivolous in ur life and be content with all places and service u can render.
Soul
That's my path.
Self-Reliant
Each of must obey the divine voice within ownself. But how do u recognise it?
Soul
This morning when I meditate, I tot of Z and I stop the tot. Then I asked myself, which one is my Soul and which one is my mind. An answer came, the mind would project situation and carrying on like a swirling wheel. My Soul would just state facts, no addition or deletion and no future projection nor past remembrance.
Self-Reliant
The best way to tune in clearly to the divine signal is to listen in quiet reflection, hence periods of solitude is recommended using tools like;
1. Silent contemplation,
2. Meditation,
3. Thoughtful study
4. Communing with nature.
Soul
I am on the right track
Self-Reliant
If u live in the light, u will keep an open mind, and ur faith will not be threatened by new discoveries and insight. In the service of truth, u must be willing to endure the scorn of those "little minds" that cherish "a foolish consistency.
Soul
Yeap.
Self-Reliance
Avoid the company of persons with whom u cannot be totally forthright. Be sincere or be silent. It is better to be alone than to be surrounded by people with whom u cannot be truly and fully yourself.
Soul
Yea, cannot be fully myself with boss. She doesn't want me to tell her the truth and yet she doesn't allow me to be quiet.
Self Reliance
RWE valued sincerity above all other virtues. To be sincere is to express, honestly and directly, the essence of ur personality in response to the circumstances of the present moment. It is to be true to yourself, both in tot and in expression. It is to Be, and not merely to Seem.
To be sincere is to fulfill ur God-given potential and to accept ur God-given role.
Soul
That's me. I used to think its my curse as it got me into trouble many times. But I got to the point that I don't care. I just want to be true to myself.
And then M said that I will be on track on the inner path as I am always direct.
Self Reliance
Self-reliance, the height and perfection of man, is reliance on God.
Each of us to embrace fully the unique and concrete reality of his or her existence - the intersection of specific talents and limitations with specific circumstances. And not to waste our lives in wishing that we were other than what we are.
Soul
I am slowly but surely accepting.
Self-reliance
Divine spirit manifests itself through our evolving circumstances. Therefore, the enlightened life is a constant process of responding intelligently to the immediate specifics of reality.
If u cannot do what u want, then u must learn to want what u can do. We must always attempt to focus on the good that the present moment has to offer.
RWE
Do not waste urself in rejection. Do not bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of good. Dwell on your dissatisfaction and u will come away empty-handed when u might have received considerable benefit or pleasure, though perhaps not of the sort, or in the degree, that u had hoped for. If u always concentrate on what u don't have and are constantly preoccupied with getting more, u will end up with nothing of real value.
Soul
I will remember that.
Self-Reliance
Life is to be lived in the here and now. To do otherwise is, quite simply, to live less than fully.
Furthermore, whatever our circumstances, it is our responsibility to recognise the divine spirit in all persons and in all events.
When u live in the light, u understand that life's greatest pleasure is to be able to see the extra-ordinariness of what may appear to others as merely ordinary, to see all of history and human nature in everyday, and the divine spirit in the mundane.
Soul
I was able to see love in boss from hell. I am able to see beauty in trees. I am able to feel the joy of water.
Self-reliance
By learning to accept - with resignation if not with total equanimity - the vast discrepancy between our desires and reality, we perform the ultimate act of faith in the unfathomable wisdom of the divine spirit.
Soul
Suddenly tot of Z. The ending is meant to be. If we r to continue, he would be in my life.
A tot just occurred to me, whatever we need will be in our life. If it is not there, we need not ponder about it.
Self-reliance
When talent and opportunity mesh, then u know that u have found ur vocation. The discovery of talent of which this is true is far more a matter of acquiescence than of ambition.
Soul
I am looking for an editor. Someone who is passionate about reading what I write and who believes that our writings makes a difference.
That's the reason I am going to Readings.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (RW)
He was not an academic philosopher or theologian: he was, rather a wise man who wrote with passion and eloquence, who sought to inflame his countrymen with and understanding of life that would guarantee true freedom, dignity and fulfillment to all.
I learn that God IS; that He is in me; and that all things are shadow of Him. At those moments when the individual soul, which is God, dominates ur consciousness and determine ur actions, then u not only perform an act of deepest reverence but actually participate in the divine.
The Universal Soul is the ultimate Self - absolutely independent, totally spontaneous, supremely intelligent and powerful. It is utterly Self-Reliant.
Having faith in that immutable fact, our soul "calms itself with knowing that all things go well" (Self-Reliance).
The central challenge in life is to realise that each of us is potentially a microcosm of the relationship between the Universal Soul and the universe. When u see God in all the workings of the world, then u will naturally have faith that all happens is for the best.
For example, as bitter as they may be, crisis and tragedy are often the most powerful catalysts for positive change.
The more fully u recognise those truths, and the more constantly u can act with them in mind, the more u become like the Universal soul, which is to say that u become more self-reliant. When u r self-reliant, u fulfill the divine potential within urself. You emulate God, and there can be no higher good than that.
Soul
That's my path; self mastery is the equivalent of self-reliant. This book is exactly what I need now, to have faith. I bought and read this book back in 2000 and now re-reading 10 years later.
Self-reliant
Faith in the Universal Soul is the key to fulfillment. If u have such faith, ur life becomes filled with spiritual light. U then act with the wisdom, courage, strength and love that such light bestows.
When u recognised the Universal Soul in all persons and all events, u r enlightened, which is to say u live in the light.
If u live in the light, u will go through life with a feeling of security, for u will have a sense of prosperity and well-being that does not depend upon ur material circumstances. U will cease from what is base and frivolous in ur life and be content with all places and service u can render.
Soul
That's my path.
Self-Reliant
Each of must obey the divine voice within ownself. But how do u recognise it?
Soul
This morning when I meditate, I tot of Z and I stop the tot. Then I asked myself, which one is my Soul and which one is my mind. An answer came, the mind would project situation and carrying on like a swirling wheel. My Soul would just state facts, no addition or deletion and no future projection nor past remembrance.
Self-Reliant
The best way to tune in clearly to the divine signal is to listen in quiet reflection, hence periods of solitude is recommended using tools like;
1. Silent contemplation,
2. Meditation,
3. Thoughtful study
4. Communing with nature.
Soul
I am on the right track
Self-Reliant
If u live in the light, u will keep an open mind, and ur faith will not be threatened by new discoveries and insight. In the service of truth, u must be willing to endure the scorn of those "little minds" that cherish "a foolish consistency.
Soul
Yeap.
Self-Reliance
Avoid the company of persons with whom u cannot be totally forthright. Be sincere or be silent. It is better to be alone than to be surrounded by people with whom u cannot be truly and fully yourself.
Soul
Yea, cannot be fully myself with boss. She doesn't want me to tell her the truth and yet she doesn't allow me to be quiet.
Self Reliance
RWE valued sincerity above all other virtues. To be sincere is to express, honestly and directly, the essence of ur personality in response to the circumstances of the present moment. It is to be true to yourself, both in tot and in expression. It is to Be, and not merely to Seem.
To be sincere is to fulfill ur God-given potential and to accept ur God-given role.
Soul
That's me. I used to think its my curse as it got me into trouble many times. But I got to the point that I don't care. I just want to be true to myself.
And then M said that I will be on track on the inner path as I am always direct.
Self Reliance
Self-reliance, the height and perfection of man, is reliance on God.
Each of us to embrace fully the unique and concrete reality of his or her existence - the intersection of specific talents and limitations with specific circumstances. And not to waste our lives in wishing that we were other than what we are.
Soul
I am slowly but surely accepting.
Self-reliance
Divine spirit manifests itself through our evolving circumstances. Therefore, the enlightened life is a constant process of responding intelligently to the immediate specifics of reality.
If u cannot do what u want, then u must learn to want what u can do. We must always attempt to focus on the good that the present moment has to offer.
RWE
Do not waste urself in rejection. Do not bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of good. Dwell on your dissatisfaction and u will come away empty-handed when u might have received considerable benefit or pleasure, though perhaps not of the sort, or in the degree, that u had hoped for. If u always concentrate on what u don't have and are constantly preoccupied with getting more, u will end up with nothing of real value.
Soul
I will remember that.
Self-Reliance
Life is to be lived in the here and now. To do otherwise is, quite simply, to live less than fully.
Furthermore, whatever our circumstances, it is our responsibility to recognise the divine spirit in all persons and in all events.
When u live in the light, u understand that life's greatest pleasure is to be able to see the extra-ordinariness of what may appear to others as merely ordinary, to see all of history and human nature in everyday, and the divine spirit in the mundane.
Soul
I was able to see love in boss from hell. I am able to see beauty in trees. I am able to feel the joy of water.
Self-reliance
By learning to accept - with resignation if not with total equanimity - the vast discrepancy between our desires and reality, we perform the ultimate act of faith in the unfathomable wisdom of the divine spirit.
Soul
Suddenly tot of Z. The ending is meant to be. If we r to continue, he would be in my life.
A tot just occurred to me, whatever we need will be in our life. If it is not there, we need not ponder about it.
Self-reliance
When talent and opportunity mesh, then u know that u have found ur vocation. The discovery of talent of which this is true is far more a matter of acquiescence than of ambition.
Soul
I am looking for an editor. Someone who is passionate about reading what I write and who believes that our writings makes a difference.
That's the reason I am going to Readings.
The past is no more (5) - Joy is bubbling out with Nature
Jul 7
Father, today practice is good. I was even laughing during my asanas. I know I went in deep during shambavi.
Father, I am slowly realising I am not my mind. My mind was projecting tots of Z and I stop it and said let's not go there. So, I am not my mind. The mind is like a background sound that's keep on going.
I will share about my samyama breakthrough during sathsang.
Freedom from the past - Osho
Through meditation I can change the very ordinary and average person into a superman. The moment u enter into ur being - centered, silent, the whole sky within has no clouds of thought - u r turning into superman, buddha.
Soul
This morning I have a lovely drive. I was alert, enjoying the vibrancy and loveliness of all the trees. Same thing yesterday. I really welcome traffic jam. In the end, life is to be savoured, so traffic jam is good.
Osho
Life has many components. They can all live together like a crowd - noisy, conflicting with each other, fighting to dominate - that's how we create a hell.
Hell is ur inability to bring the crowd within u to a peaceful, loving existence. It is the inability to create an orchestra out of ur being.
The man who can create an orchestra out of his being - whose mind, heart, being, are all in tune - has created a paradise for himself and an energy field around himself, which will also affect others also.
To live unconsciously is to be in hell, and to live consciously is to be in heaven. To be fully enlightened ... it is not that u enter paradise; paradise opens its petals, just like lotus, in u. It is ur innermost potential.
Soul
I know. I am there. Life is good.
Jul 7 eve
The Power of Intention
Lao Tzu
When u realise there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to u.
Soul
Father, I put on some weight. It has been 3 years since I don't need a weighing machine and I am not going to have one now.
Tot of my pix, I think I look fine, which is a change of how I normally see.
Tot of Z and wanted to speak to him. At first tot of sharing meditation but then its just a smoke screen. I am not over him yet. I am recovering. Let's not go there. Don't worry about losing him, the best is yet to be.
The Power of Intention
Change the way u look at things and the things u look at change. Never allowing a moment of doubt or listening to naysayers.
Soul
Just now when I drove back, I laugh for a long time, the feeling of sweetness stays with me.
Father, today practice is good. I was even laughing during my asanas. I know I went in deep during shambavi.
Father, I am slowly realising I am not my mind. My mind was projecting tots of Z and I stop it and said let's not go there. So, I am not my mind. The mind is like a background sound that's keep on going.
I will share about my samyama breakthrough during sathsang.
Freedom from the past - Osho
Through meditation I can change the very ordinary and average person into a superman. The moment u enter into ur being - centered, silent, the whole sky within has no clouds of thought - u r turning into superman, buddha.
Soul
This morning I have a lovely drive. I was alert, enjoying the vibrancy and loveliness of all the trees. Same thing yesterday. I really welcome traffic jam. In the end, life is to be savoured, so traffic jam is good.
Osho
Life has many components. They can all live together like a crowd - noisy, conflicting with each other, fighting to dominate - that's how we create a hell.
Hell is ur inability to bring the crowd within u to a peaceful, loving existence. It is the inability to create an orchestra out of ur being.
The man who can create an orchestra out of his being - whose mind, heart, being, are all in tune - has created a paradise for himself and an energy field around himself, which will also affect others also.
To live unconsciously is to be in hell, and to live consciously is to be in heaven. To be fully enlightened ... it is not that u enter paradise; paradise opens its petals, just like lotus, in u. It is ur innermost potential.
Soul
I know. I am there. Life is good.
Jul 7 eve
The Power of Intention
Lao Tzu
When u realise there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to u.
Soul
Father, I put on some weight. It has been 3 years since I don't need a weighing machine and I am not going to have one now.
Tot of my pix, I think I look fine, which is a change of how I normally see.
Tot of Z and wanted to speak to him. At first tot of sharing meditation but then its just a smoke screen. I am not over him yet. I am recovering. Let's not go there. Don't worry about losing him, the best is yet to be.
The Power of Intention
Change the way u look at things and the things u look at change. Never allowing a moment of doubt or listening to naysayers.
Soul
Just now when I drove back, I laugh for a long time, the feeling of sweetness stays with me.
The past is no more (4) - Breakthru in samyama
Jul 6 Eve
Just now did my shoonya/samyama. For the first time, after one and half year, I finally connect to the source during samyama. With eyes wide open, I was bubbling with joy and laughter erupted. A real breakthrough.
Earlier this afternoon, I finally open up and msg Z. At first, I drafted a personal note, but I didn't want to send. Later when I was doing Isha preparation, I just msg if he is coming. Within minutes he replied. That was us clearing the air. We can now move forward. Amen.
All the drama in my mind that I will fall again for him is just drama. I was not keen to msg him again. I decided that we would only talk during sathsang. Let's keep it 'professional'.
Just now did my shoonya/samyama. For the first time, after one and half year, I finally connect to the source during samyama. With eyes wide open, I was bubbling with joy and laughter erupted. A real breakthrough.
Earlier this afternoon, I finally open up and msg Z. At first, I drafted a personal note, but I didn't want to send. Later when I was doing Isha preparation, I just msg if he is coming. Within minutes he replied. That was us clearing the air. We can now move forward. Amen.
All the drama in my mind that I will fall again for him is just drama. I was not keen to msg him again. I decided that we would only talk during sathsang. Let's keep it 'professional'.
The past is no more (3) - Life is effortless (new blog)
Jul 6 Aft
Father, I am bit out of sort or rather frazzled. It has been a long time since we have so much work line up one by one. My new mantra, life is effortless and I won't change my mode.
Despite so much work, I can still leave office before 7.30 pm and its great. Despite so much other work load, we managed to meet our reporting deadline.
No matter what happen, I won't go back to the Past.
On family, as expected sis in law reacted badly and now boycott coming to family home. Anyway, this will blow out. These days I am not keen to tackle the drama of others. Let's fight it out. Sis need to air out her anger and its good per se. Its just that there are 'victims' around. But let them pick their pieces too.
For me, she did rant and rave to me and I stop her. I also didn't let her affect me.
Father, a tot occurred to me. This turmoil at office is not a challenge to me. Is to them. What I need is just to stay cool.
The family drama also not for me.
The drama at Isha also not for me.
I am not the drama gatherer. I already stop the job drama and now to stop the people drama.
Suddenly tot of Z. I wanted us to be on speaking terms once again.
Sadhguru
Meditation gives u an experience, an inner state where what is you and what is yours is separated. There is a little distance, there is a little space between what is you and what you have accumulated.
When there is a little space, it brings an absolute clarity of perception. You see life just the way it is. No distortions about it; simply seeing life just the way
Once you understand this you naturally become meditative; u want to clear up everything and just look at life the way it is, because u want to walk through life with least amount of friction, without stumbling on this or that.
Soul
This is similar to my initial tot that started me on my journey. I wanted to remove or lift up the veil of my sub consciousness that drives my life unknowingly.
I wanted to be in control of my life.
But Sadhguru added another layer.
Life with least friction translates to Effortless life.
Sadhguru
When u r no longer identified with ur body and mind, u will be in touch with the source of Creation within you. Once this happens, Grace happens.
Whether u r here, or beyond, this is the end of suffering. That means ur whole karmic bag - ur past or unconscious mind - has been kept aside. It cannot have influence over u. Once the past has no influence over u, then life becomes a huge potential.
Soul
Keep on thinking about Z. I want to clear the air before sathsang. My focus is on sathsang. The fact is he is still a diamond but just not my diamond. And I am thankful for my time with him.
Thanks to him, I finally know my lovability is due to me and me alone. This was further confirmed by his North node in Aquarius and South node in Leo. So, there is no judgement at him. He was just being him and I am just being me. We r both loving and protecting ourselves the best way we know.
Him not wanting me the way I wanted is no longer a personal reflection of me. He has no hold over me.
So, we need to start afresh.
Sadhguru
Every breath becomes such a tremendous possibility in ur life, because the past is not playing any role in ur existence here now.
If you sit here, u r absolute life. Life becomes effortless.
Soul
Amen. I am on the right track. Just this morning I wanted this.
Sadhguru
Once simply sitting and breathing is such a great pleasure, u will become very genial, flexible, wonderful because all the time u r in a great state with urself. No hangover. Mind becomes sharper than ever before.
Father, I am bit out of sort or rather frazzled. It has been a long time since we have so much work line up one by one. My new mantra, life is effortless and I won't change my mode.
Despite so much work, I can still leave office before 7.30 pm and its great. Despite so much other work load, we managed to meet our reporting deadline.
No matter what happen, I won't go back to the Past.
On family, as expected sis in law reacted badly and now boycott coming to family home. Anyway, this will blow out. These days I am not keen to tackle the drama of others. Let's fight it out. Sis need to air out her anger and its good per se. Its just that there are 'victims' around. But let them pick their pieces too.
For me, she did rant and rave to me and I stop her. I also didn't let her affect me.
Father, a tot occurred to me. This turmoil at office is not a challenge to me. Is to them. What I need is just to stay cool.
The family drama also not for me.
The drama at Isha also not for me.
I am not the drama gatherer. I already stop the job drama and now to stop the people drama.
Suddenly tot of Z. I wanted us to be on speaking terms once again.
Sadhguru
Meditation gives u an experience, an inner state where what is you and what is yours is separated. There is a little distance, there is a little space between what is you and what you have accumulated.
When there is a little space, it brings an absolute clarity of perception. You see life just the way it is. No distortions about it; simply seeing life just the way
Once you understand this you naturally become meditative; u want to clear up everything and just look at life the way it is, because u want to walk through life with least amount of friction, without stumbling on this or that.
Soul
This is similar to my initial tot that started me on my journey. I wanted to remove or lift up the veil of my sub consciousness that drives my life unknowingly.
I wanted to be in control of my life.
But Sadhguru added another layer.
Life with least friction translates to Effortless life.
Sadhguru
When u r no longer identified with ur body and mind, u will be in touch with the source of Creation within you. Once this happens, Grace happens.
Whether u r here, or beyond, this is the end of suffering. That means ur whole karmic bag - ur past or unconscious mind - has been kept aside. It cannot have influence over u. Once the past has no influence over u, then life becomes a huge potential.
Soul
Keep on thinking about Z. I want to clear the air before sathsang. My focus is on sathsang. The fact is he is still a diamond but just not my diamond. And I am thankful for my time with him.
Thanks to him, I finally know my lovability is due to me and me alone. This was further confirmed by his North node in Aquarius and South node in Leo. So, there is no judgement at him. He was just being him and I am just being me. We r both loving and protecting ourselves the best way we know.
Him not wanting me the way I wanted is no longer a personal reflection of me. He has no hold over me.
So, we need to start afresh.
Sadhguru
Every breath becomes such a tremendous possibility in ur life, because the past is not playing any role in ur existence here now.
If you sit here, u r absolute life. Life becomes effortless.
Soul
Amen. I am on the right track. Just this morning I wanted this.
Sadhguru
Once simply sitting and breathing is such a great pleasure, u will become very genial, flexible, wonderful because all the time u r in a great state with urself. No hangover. Mind becomes sharper than ever before.
The past is no more (2)
Jul 6
Father, did my practice. I am back.
Tot of the new Blog - life is effortless.
For the first time since one month ago, my plough back is fine, there is no stress on the higher back.
Suria is effortless. Every posture, just stay and breathe naturally and it will find its own normal level. Once breathe normalise, go to next posture.
A tot occurred to me. That's the way to approach life. Take whatever come, just be in it, be natural and then it will just flow to next phase.
This is my pre-birth year and I want to set the foundation right. My blog name - life is effortless is my mantra and what I think Life should. My current practice is Life is not easy, don't make it difficult.
I am having negative tots of boss. Not sure its because she scolded me or because I lost hope in her or I just don't want her in my life anymore. The last 2 weeks without her and I have my relaxing lunch, eating whatever I wanted. Perhaps I should just create pseudo lunch appointment ang goes off on my own.
I start to have negative tots on us losing biz and she has to go off but then I pulled back cos this would put us at risk. Then I tot of all the staff walking out on her.
Father, did my practice. I am back.
Tot of the new Blog - life is effortless.
For the first time since one month ago, my plough back is fine, there is no stress on the higher back.
Suria is effortless. Every posture, just stay and breathe naturally and it will find its own normal level. Once breathe normalise, go to next posture.
A tot occurred to me. That's the way to approach life. Take whatever come, just be in it, be natural and then it will just flow to next phase.
This is my pre-birth year and I want to set the foundation right. My blog name - life is effortless is my mantra and what I think Life should. My current practice is Life is not easy, don't make it difficult.
I am having negative tots of boss. Not sure its because she scolded me or because I lost hope in her or I just don't want her in my life anymore. The last 2 weeks without her and I have my relaxing lunch, eating whatever I wanted. Perhaps I should just create pseudo lunch appointment ang goes off on my own.
I start to have negative tots on us losing biz and she has to go off but then I pulled back cos this would put us at risk. Then I tot of all the staff walking out on her.
Meditation is needed (2) in following my destiny
Jul 5 Aft
South Nodes
My soul purpose is, in part, to move away from hurtful melodramas and to ground myself in my own talents and resources.
It speaks of the desire for serenity and to move away from the dramatic reactivity and the excesses of my earlier years.
I needed to take on the qualities of loyalty and persistence of the Taurus Node to find the sacred in the common place.
The 'gold' in my Scorpio South Node is my intuitive ability and emotional intensity.
(Jul 31 - I am taking the Nodes's input and now grounding myself in the study of 7thunder. And I also know that I am not just a Writer, I am the Transformational leader and I want to lead people to self discovery.)
Jul 5 Eve
The Power of Intention
Making Intention Ur Reality
1. Affirm that in an intelligent system, no one shows up by accident, including u.
2. Seize every opportunity, no matter how small, to give ur life away in service.
3. Align ur purpose with the field of intention
4. Ignore what anyone else tells u about ur purpose.
5. Remember that the all-creating field of intention will work on ur behalf.
6. Study and replicate the lives of people who've known their purpose.
7. Act as if u r living the life u were intended to live, even if u feel confused about this thing called purpose.
View events u consider as obstacles as perfect opportunities to test ur resolve and find ur purpose. Treat everything from a broken fingernail to an illness to the loss of a job to a geographical move as perfect opportunity to get away from ur familiar routine and move to purpose.
8. Meditate to stay on purpose.
9. Keep ur tots and feelings in harmony with ur actions.
10. Stay in a state of gratitude.
South Nodes
My soul purpose is, in part, to move away from hurtful melodramas and to ground myself in my own talents and resources.
It speaks of the desire for serenity and to move away from the dramatic reactivity and the excesses of my earlier years.
I needed to take on the qualities of loyalty and persistence of the Taurus Node to find the sacred in the common place.
The 'gold' in my Scorpio South Node is my intuitive ability and emotional intensity.
(Jul 31 - I am taking the Nodes's input and now grounding myself in the study of 7thunder. And I also know that I am not just a Writer, I am the Transformational leader and I want to lead people to self discovery.)
Jul 5 Eve
The Power of Intention
Making Intention Ur Reality
1. Affirm that in an intelligent system, no one shows up by accident, including u.
2. Seize every opportunity, no matter how small, to give ur life away in service.
3. Align ur purpose with the field of intention
4. Ignore what anyone else tells u about ur purpose.
5. Remember that the all-creating field of intention will work on ur behalf.
6. Study and replicate the lives of people who've known their purpose.
7. Act as if u r living the life u were intended to live, even if u feel confused about this thing called purpose.
View events u consider as obstacles as perfect opportunities to test ur resolve and find ur purpose. Treat everything from a broken fingernail to an illness to the loss of a job to a geographical move as perfect opportunity to get away from ur familiar routine and move to purpose.
8. Meditate to stay on purpose.
9. Keep ur tots and feelings in harmony with ur actions.
10. Stay in a state of gratitude.
The past is no more
Jul 5
Father, did my practice. Then lie down for asanas, but took a moment to relax and I slept, woke up 7.12 am. I must be tired after yday ordeal. But I am fine now.
Yesterday boss scold me for judging her on her PA. I felt sad that she routed to the past, also bit unfair on her part for not acknowledging. When it is the 3rd PA that leave, she must take some responsibility. I scolded myself for being truthful and got myself in trouble. But few seconds later, I said I don't want to change. Anyway, I just know that I don't want to get involve in their drama. In future, just said no comment.
1. Issue
The Fool
A fool is one who goes on trusting, a fool is one who goes on trusting against all his experience. Don't try to create a wall of knowledge. Whatsoever experience comes to u, let it happen and then go on dropping it. Go on dying to the past, so u remain in the present. And each time u don't allow situations to corrupt u, that opportunity will become an integration inside. Ur soul will become crystalised.
Fool is the numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.
Soul
When I read this card in the morning, I was puzzled. Later when boss invite me for lunch after scolding me off. I just go back to my normal self with her, the past is gone.
When I got back, I tot if this could be Z but I don't want to go there.
Then tot of office, so much turmoil going on. The old me would have tot this another challenge n suffering. The new me took in stride, still focus on 4 days week, and even turn the situation by having my staff prepare my report, something they never do before.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Breakthrough
It is the greatest adventure in life to go through a breakdown consciously. It is the greatest risk because there is no guarantee that the breakdown will become a breakthrough.
The dawn is not far away, but before u can reach the dawn, the dark night has to be passed through. And as the dawn comes closer, the night will become darker.
If u r now feeling that "enough is enough", allow urself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept ur energy from flowing. In doing so, u will be amazed at the vitality and empowerment this breakthrough can bring.
Soul
Not sure. Tot of boss and her denial. I don't like lunch with her, firstly too much food and secondly only what she wants to eat and where.
Tot of Z but let's not go there.
3. External influence
New Vision
The figure on this card is being born anew, emerging from his earthbound roots and growing wings to fly into the unbounded.
Now u r presented to see life in all its dimensions, from the depths to the heights. They exist together. The dark and the difficult are needed as much as the light and easy. By allowing all of life's colours to penetrate us, we become more integrated.
Soul
After reading my nodes. I know I am on the right track. And my hidden anger at Z also dissolves when I saw his issue in rships.
Somehow I am fine to be friends again. Would love to show him his nodes.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Thunderbolt
U might be feeling shaky right now, as if the earth is rocking beneath ur feet. Ur sense of security is being challenged, and the natural tendency is try to hold on to whatever u can.
But this inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important - if u can allow it, u will emerge from the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences.
Soul
Perhaps to do with office turmoil.
A tot came that it could be Z, but let's not go there.
C said house 6 is about jobs.
5. The understanding
Conditioning
Unless u drop ur personality u will not be able to find ur individuality.
Soul
Not sure about this cos I m normally myself unless I am not aware.
Father, did my practice. Then lie down for asanas, but took a moment to relax and I slept, woke up 7.12 am. I must be tired after yday ordeal. But I am fine now.
Yesterday boss scold me for judging her on her PA. I felt sad that she routed to the past, also bit unfair on her part for not acknowledging. When it is the 3rd PA that leave, she must take some responsibility. I scolded myself for being truthful and got myself in trouble. But few seconds later, I said I don't want to change. Anyway, I just know that I don't want to get involve in their drama. In future, just said no comment.
1. Issue
The Fool
A fool is one who goes on trusting, a fool is one who goes on trusting against all his experience. Don't try to create a wall of knowledge. Whatsoever experience comes to u, let it happen and then go on dropping it. Go on dying to the past, so u remain in the present. And each time u don't allow situations to corrupt u, that opportunity will become an integration inside. Ur soul will become crystalised.
Fool is the numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.
Soul
When I read this card in the morning, I was puzzled. Later when boss invite me for lunch after scolding me off. I just go back to my normal self with her, the past is gone.
When I got back, I tot if this could be Z but I don't want to go there.
Then tot of office, so much turmoil going on. The old me would have tot this another challenge n suffering. The new me took in stride, still focus on 4 days week, and even turn the situation by having my staff prepare my report, something they never do before.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Breakthrough
It is the greatest adventure in life to go through a breakdown consciously. It is the greatest risk because there is no guarantee that the breakdown will become a breakthrough.
The dawn is not far away, but before u can reach the dawn, the dark night has to be passed through. And as the dawn comes closer, the night will become darker.
If u r now feeling that "enough is enough", allow urself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept ur energy from flowing. In doing so, u will be amazed at the vitality and empowerment this breakthrough can bring.
Soul
Not sure. Tot of boss and her denial. I don't like lunch with her, firstly too much food and secondly only what she wants to eat and where.
Tot of Z but let's not go there.
3. External influence
New Vision
The figure on this card is being born anew, emerging from his earthbound roots and growing wings to fly into the unbounded.
Now u r presented to see life in all its dimensions, from the depths to the heights. They exist together. The dark and the difficult are needed as much as the light and easy. By allowing all of life's colours to penetrate us, we become more integrated.
Soul
After reading my nodes. I know I am on the right track. And my hidden anger at Z also dissolves when I saw his issue in rships.
Somehow I am fine to be friends again. Would love to show him his nodes.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Thunderbolt
U might be feeling shaky right now, as if the earth is rocking beneath ur feet. Ur sense of security is being challenged, and the natural tendency is try to hold on to whatever u can.
But this inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important - if u can allow it, u will emerge from the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences.
Soul
Perhaps to do with office turmoil.
A tot came that it could be Z, but let's not go there.
C said house 6 is about jobs.
5. The understanding
Conditioning
Unless u drop ur personality u will not be able to find ur individuality.
Soul
Not sure about this cos I m normally myself unless I am not aware.
Fulfilling my destiny (3)
Jul 4 Eve
The Power of Intention
Whatever it is that u choose to do, if u r motivated to be of service to others while being authentically detached from the outcome, u will feel on purpose, regardless of how much abundance flows back to u.
Ur purpose is about sharing yourself in a creative, loving way using the skills and interests that are inherently part of u.
When u feel inspired, what appeared to be risky becomes a path u feel compelled to follow. The risks are gone because u r following ur bliss, which is the truth within u.
Your trust in this inner knowing is all u need. I call it faith - faith in the call u r hearing from the center of ur being.
(31 Jul 2011)
Soul
A year ago I had an insight to use 7thunder as a tool, to study it.
Alas, I bought the vcd but only went through 1 folder. I now had the same call and this time I am now going through it. I am on track.
The Power of Intention
Whatever it is that u choose to do, if u r motivated to be of service to others while being authentically detached from the outcome, u will feel on purpose, regardless of how much abundance flows back to u.
Ur purpose is about sharing yourself in a creative, loving way using the skills and interests that are inherently part of u.
When u feel inspired, what appeared to be risky becomes a path u feel compelled to follow. The risks are gone because u r following ur bliss, which is the truth within u.
Your trust in this inner knowing is all u need. I call it faith - faith in the call u r hearing from the center of ur being.
(31 Jul 2011)
Soul
A year ago I had an insight to use 7thunder as a tool, to study it.
Alas, I bought the vcd but only went through 1 folder. I now had the same call and this time I am now going through it. I am on track.
Friday, July 29, 2011
7thunder cards - Mercury period
Jul 3 To Aug 23
Mercury
Ruling
Two of Diamond
Business communication that comes and goes quickly. Financial arrangement with sibling. Under Mercury the partnership may happen suddenly and last a short time only. Be ready for the unexpected.
Seven of Clubs
U r being exposed to higher way of thinking and will be given opportunities to transform negativity into revelation. Maybe u notice how much u r worrying and want to change it.
On the high side, this is a great influence for acquiring some new info on the spiritual side. Keep on the lookout for new tools that may open u up to a different side of life.
Destiny
King of Diamond
You could see urself attaining a quick but significant financial success by applying ur savvy and quick thinking to some idea or business. You have good influence for success in most money making. Use ur mind now. The ideas u get could be worth more than u think.
Five of Diamond
This card indicates a sudden and unexpected change in employment, material circumstances or the family financial situation. This is possibly an unexpected loss of money. It can also indicate a short journey undertaken for ur work or a money deal.
Change is in the air, and it could be up or down, and possibly related to education or sibling.
Mercury
Ruling
Two of Diamond
Business communication that comes and goes quickly. Financial arrangement with sibling. Under Mercury the partnership may happen suddenly and last a short time only. Be ready for the unexpected.
Seven of Clubs
U r being exposed to higher way of thinking and will be given opportunities to transform negativity into revelation. Maybe u notice how much u r worrying and want to change it.
On the high side, this is a great influence for acquiring some new info on the spiritual side. Keep on the lookout for new tools that may open u up to a different side of life.
Destiny
King of Diamond
You could see urself attaining a quick but significant financial success by applying ur savvy and quick thinking to some idea or business. You have good influence for success in most money making. Use ur mind now. The ideas u get could be worth more than u think.
Five of Diamond
This card indicates a sudden and unexpected change in employment, material circumstances or the family financial situation. This is possibly an unexpected loss of money. It can also indicate a short journey undertaken for ur work or a money deal.
Change is in the air, and it could be up or down, and possibly related to education or sibling.
Cosmic Reward - benefits from ending (17) - end of suffering blog
Jul 3 Eve
Father, finished reading my North Node in Taurus and South Node is Scorpio. Coincidentally V is the opposite of me. No wonder we blend well. The same goes for my boss.
As for Z, his is North Node in Aquarius and South Node in Leo. No wonder he has King of Diamond under his 1st karma card and a real arrogant bastard. But he is also a diamond, just like I know.
He has an issue of how people perceive his rship status, he has disastrous love rship as he really made worst choices in his love rship. Even with me, he also made wrong choice.
Reading him made me know that his issue on how people view us as a couple is real. He really cares how people view him.
The old me would want to note this but the new me said this is his drama. At least now I know I am right that his ability to love me is a reflection of his own lovability. Father, amen.
And coincidentally, M also has the same card as him.
Father, Z has rightfully said I am a lazy bum. But I deserved to be lazy and float in life. I have already paid my dues.
Father, I want to set a new blog as I have reached the point whereby I know suffering is not required. When I start the inner journey, I only want to be happy and God meant for us to be happy. The old blog of sufferingisblessing has ended on 2 Jul 2011. And age 44 is my pre-birth year and I want to live it right, knowing that I can relax and everything will flow. Mmm, a new blog name came to mind; Happiness flows or perhaps to coincide with my name; joyong or fireflyjoy, joyflows,
The Power of Intention
If ur tots reflects a pessimistic view of the world, then that's actually how u feel about urself. If ur tots reflect an optimistic view of the world, then that's actually how u feel about ur life.
Whatever attitude u have about the world in general is a good indicator of the respect u have for ur abilities to intend into this world what u desire. Pessimism strongly suggest that u don't subscribe to the idea that u can access the power of intention to help u create ur own blissful reality.
You attract into ur life what u feel inside.
Soul
I now slowly but surely accept that contentment is the way of life.
The Power of Intention
The self in self-respect.
The greatest mistake we make, which causes a loss of self-respect, is making the opinions of others more important than our opinion of ourselves.
Self-respect means just what it says - it originates from the self. If u fail to respect urself, u r showing contempt for the process of creation.
You"ll find no shortage of opinions directed at u. If u allow others to undermine ur self-respect, u r seeking the respect of others over ur own and u r abdicating urself.
The negative viewpoints of others on u, represents their low-energy ego working on u.
Affirmation
1. I love me
2. I am whole and perfect as I was created
3. I am not my body. I am not my accumulations. I am not my achievements. I am not my reputation. I am whole and perfect as I was created.
4. I belong! (Feeling that u don't belong or u r in the wrong place can be due to lack of self respect.
5. I am never alone. Father is always with me.
6. Respect ur body.
7. Meditate to stay in conscious contact with ur Source, which always respects you.
Meditation is a way to experience what the five senses can't detect. When u r connected, u feel cherished.
Meditation is away to ensure that u stay in a state of self-respect. Regardless of all that goes around u, when u enter into that sacred space of meditation, all doubts about ur value as an esteemed creation dissolve. You will emerge from the solemnity of meditation feeling connected to Ur Source and enjoying respect for all beings, particularly yourself.
8. Make amend with adversaries.
9. Always remember the self in self-respect. U must recognise the opinions of others towards u aren't facts, they're opinions.
U can't be responsible for how others view u. The only thing I am responsible for is my own character.
10. Be in a state of gratitude.
Father, finished reading my North Node in Taurus and South Node is Scorpio. Coincidentally V is the opposite of me. No wonder we blend well. The same goes for my boss.
As for Z, his is North Node in Aquarius and South Node in Leo. No wonder he has King of Diamond under his 1st karma card and a real arrogant bastard. But he is also a diamond, just like I know.
He has an issue of how people perceive his rship status, he has disastrous love rship as he really made worst choices in his love rship. Even with me, he also made wrong choice.
Reading him made me know that his issue on how people view us as a couple is real. He really cares how people view him.
The old me would want to note this but the new me said this is his drama. At least now I know I am right that his ability to love me is a reflection of his own lovability. Father, amen.
And coincidentally, M also has the same card as him.
Father, Z has rightfully said I am a lazy bum. But I deserved to be lazy and float in life. I have already paid my dues.
Father, I want to set a new blog as I have reached the point whereby I know suffering is not required. When I start the inner journey, I only want to be happy and God meant for us to be happy. The old blog of sufferingisblessing has ended on 2 Jul 2011. And age 44 is my pre-birth year and I want to live it right, knowing that I can relax and everything will flow. Mmm, a new blog name came to mind; Happiness flows or perhaps to coincide with my name; joyong or fireflyjoy, joyflows,
The Power of Intention
If ur tots reflects a pessimistic view of the world, then that's actually how u feel about urself. If ur tots reflect an optimistic view of the world, then that's actually how u feel about ur life.
Whatever attitude u have about the world in general is a good indicator of the respect u have for ur abilities to intend into this world what u desire. Pessimism strongly suggest that u don't subscribe to the idea that u can access the power of intention to help u create ur own blissful reality.
You attract into ur life what u feel inside.
Soul
I now slowly but surely accept that contentment is the way of life.
The Power of Intention
The self in self-respect.
The greatest mistake we make, which causes a loss of self-respect, is making the opinions of others more important than our opinion of ourselves.
Self-respect means just what it says - it originates from the self. If u fail to respect urself, u r showing contempt for the process of creation.
You"ll find no shortage of opinions directed at u. If u allow others to undermine ur self-respect, u r seeking the respect of others over ur own and u r abdicating urself.
The negative viewpoints of others on u, represents their low-energy ego working on u.
Affirmation
1. I love me
2. I am whole and perfect as I was created
3. I am not my body. I am not my accumulations. I am not my achievements. I am not my reputation. I am whole and perfect as I was created.
4. I belong! (Feeling that u don't belong or u r in the wrong place can be due to lack of self respect.
5. I am never alone. Father is always with me.
6. Respect ur body.
7. Meditate to stay in conscious contact with ur Source, which always respects you.
Meditation is a way to experience what the five senses can't detect. When u r connected, u feel cherished.
Meditation is away to ensure that u stay in a state of self-respect. Regardless of all that goes around u, when u enter into that sacred space of meditation, all doubts about ur value as an esteemed creation dissolve. You will emerge from the solemnity of meditation feeling connected to Ur Source and enjoying respect for all beings, particularly yourself.
8. Make amend with adversaries.
9. Always remember the self in self-respect. U must recognise the opinions of others towards u aren't facts, they're opinions.
U can't be responsible for how others view u. The only thing I am responsible for is my own character.
10. Be in a state of gratitude.
Cosmic Reward - benefits from ending (16) - North/South Nodes
Jul 3
Father, today is my birthday. I am now 44 and proud to be so.
This morning I had a dream and I remember it and wrote it down. Alas, I can now remember my dream.
I recalled I used to ignore my emotion and tot I was disconnected from them. The truth is I have loads of emotion that I was afraid to let open. Anyway, it is out and I finally acknowledge I am emotional too. It is because I was afraid. Well I am not. I just signed up for authorship. I put up my blog and website.
North node in Taurus
Over reliance on the resources and value of others. Driven by an intense desire to bond and merge with a partner, Taurus north node individuals sacrificed their own needs and value systems as a means of empowering their partner and thereby receiving validation in return.
Soul
This morning I watched the korean drama and saw how the gal walked out on the guy. She tot the guy liked her and want to woo her but instead he wanted to bed her. Reminds me of Z, but in my case I relented and gave in to the arrangement. While I can say I did it because I wanted the experience and I knew he is my cosmic lesson and also cosmic reward but I also know I went in because I really like him. And I did check on our relationship cards and it looks great, which is true.
Not sure if this is a lack of self respect, taking remnants. Anyway, few months later, thanks to his constant reminders of our non-commitment rship, I walked out of it too. But in my case, Z is still in my daily prayer as he opened me up physically and for that I thank him and he has been a true gentleman.
I who tots I was strong is actually weak when it comes to partner. The first time when I was conned and now I changed my value or rather subdued what I want instead. Anyway, I am glad I did walked out, but it wasn't a conscious decision. I broke down. And while ego is dented that Z can let go of me easily, I also appreciate it.
North node in Taurus
In order to heal this energy imbalance of the soul, these individuals is to learn to empower themselves. They need to shift their focus from defining their self worth via validation from others to discovering and living in accordance with their own true needs, comfort zones and value system.
Soul
It was after the break up that I realised my level of lovability is a measure of how much I love myself and not how much others love me. Amen.
North Node in Taurus
There is an unconscious need for intense, high adrenaline crisis situations in their lives.
Soul
True, I used to attract challenging job situations. And I decided to say No a year ago and now my job is effortless. Then recently I found myself spare time at office. First tot I was scared cos I wasn't filling in the hours but now I just accept it and be happy. They didn't pay me to fill the hours, they pay me for my leadership and strategy.
Even now with a potential loss of major client, I am not even worried. To me, its not my Top 5 and I no longer take the loss personally.
Oh ya, I tot I am bad luck cos always have challenging situations. Now I knew its not bad luck, its my unconscious need for valuation whenever I overcome challenges.
North node in Taurus
To let go of past behavioral patterns of exchange rships. The stronger Taurus North node individuals become in supporting themselves and defining their self worth via their own value system, the more likely they are to attract a spiritually fulfilling partnership with someone who is also self-empowered.
Taurus - stability and self reliance.
Scorpio - transformation and synergistic partnership.
(Jul 29 - I know I deserved to be loved and cherished by my partner. I know he will be with me.)
Soul
At least I have Moon in Taurus. And with grounding from meditation, I am now calm.
Father, I knew rship is one of my Top 5. And I will have the rship when I fortify myself, love myself, validate myself.
North Node in Taurus
Tendency to depend too much on both the resources and values of others. There is also a subconscious need to attract instability and upheavals
Instead of falling back on the remains of Scorpio still within yourself, u must build, through Taurus, a new set of substantial value to live by. You are here to concentrate on regeneration, not the downsizing, to build ur own resources and even more important, to develop ur own value system.
Soul
No wonder my Cosmic Reward is Nine of Diamond - death of old values.
(Jul 19 - I am getting the relationship that I wanted and I believe I can have. I come a long way, paid some prices and it is time to get the results)
North node Taurus in Sixth House, South Node Scorpio in Twelfth House
Things to be
1. Getting attached to a steady routine. Becoming dependable and reliable on the job
2. Developing a calm and serene attitude toward work.
3. Working at ur own pace.
4. Injecting some artistry into ur work environment. Acknowledging ur need for beauty in the work place.
5. Feeling OK with a 9 to 5 job, Monday through Friday type of job
6. Spiritual transformation is not the answer to everything.
7. Paying attention to ur health
8. Developing a more relaxed daily routine. Eating at ur leisure.
9. No longer sacrificing reality in the name of obsession. Sticking to a system.
10. Refusing to let people pressure u into changing jobs.
11. Being ok with a steady paycheck. Feeling content to be employed.
12. Learning to enjoy body therapies.
13. Learning to value ur health.
Father, today is my birthday. I am now 44 and proud to be so.
This morning I had a dream and I remember it and wrote it down. Alas, I can now remember my dream.
I recalled I used to ignore my emotion and tot I was disconnected from them. The truth is I have loads of emotion that I was afraid to let open. Anyway, it is out and I finally acknowledge I am emotional too. It is because I was afraid. Well I am not. I just signed up for authorship. I put up my blog and website.
North node in Taurus
Over reliance on the resources and value of others. Driven by an intense desire to bond and merge with a partner, Taurus north node individuals sacrificed their own needs and value systems as a means of empowering their partner and thereby receiving validation in return.
Soul
This morning I watched the korean drama and saw how the gal walked out on the guy. She tot the guy liked her and want to woo her but instead he wanted to bed her. Reminds me of Z, but in my case I relented and gave in to the arrangement. While I can say I did it because I wanted the experience and I knew he is my cosmic lesson and also cosmic reward but I also know I went in because I really like him. And I did check on our relationship cards and it looks great, which is true.
Not sure if this is a lack of self respect, taking remnants. Anyway, few months later, thanks to his constant reminders of our non-commitment rship, I walked out of it too. But in my case, Z is still in my daily prayer as he opened me up physically and for that I thank him and he has been a true gentleman.
I who tots I was strong is actually weak when it comes to partner. The first time when I was conned and now I changed my value or rather subdued what I want instead. Anyway, I am glad I did walked out, but it wasn't a conscious decision. I broke down. And while ego is dented that Z can let go of me easily, I also appreciate it.
North node in Taurus
In order to heal this energy imbalance of the soul, these individuals is to learn to empower themselves. They need to shift their focus from defining their self worth via validation from others to discovering and living in accordance with their own true needs, comfort zones and value system.
Soul
It was after the break up that I realised my level of lovability is a measure of how much I love myself and not how much others love me. Amen.
North Node in Taurus
There is an unconscious need for intense, high adrenaline crisis situations in their lives.
Soul
True, I used to attract challenging job situations. And I decided to say No a year ago and now my job is effortless. Then recently I found myself spare time at office. First tot I was scared cos I wasn't filling in the hours but now I just accept it and be happy. They didn't pay me to fill the hours, they pay me for my leadership and strategy.
Even now with a potential loss of major client, I am not even worried. To me, its not my Top 5 and I no longer take the loss personally.
Oh ya, I tot I am bad luck cos always have challenging situations. Now I knew its not bad luck, its my unconscious need for valuation whenever I overcome challenges.
North node in Taurus
To let go of past behavioral patterns of exchange rships. The stronger Taurus North node individuals become in supporting themselves and defining their self worth via their own value system, the more likely they are to attract a spiritually fulfilling partnership with someone who is also self-empowered.
Taurus - stability and self reliance.
Scorpio - transformation and synergistic partnership.
(Jul 29 - I know I deserved to be loved and cherished by my partner. I know he will be with me.)
Soul
At least I have Moon in Taurus. And with grounding from meditation, I am now calm.
Father, I knew rship is one of my Top 5. And I will have the rship when I fortify myself, love myself, validate myself.
North Node in Taurus
Tendency to depend too much on both the resources and values of others. There is also a subconscious need to attract instability and upheavals
Instead of falling back on the remains of Scorpio still within yourself, u must build, through Taurus, a new set of substantial value to live by. You are here to concentrate on regeneration, not the downsizing, to build ur own resources and even more important, to develop ur own value system.
Soul
No wonder my Cosmic Reward is Nine of Diamond - death of old values.
(Jul 19 - I am getting the relationship that I wanted and I believe I can have. I come a long way, paid some prices and it is time to get the results)
North node Taurus in Sixth House, South Node Scorpio in Twelfth House
Things to be
1. Getting attached to a steady routine. Becoming dependable and reliable on the job
2. Developing a calm and serene attitude toward work.
3. Working at ur own pace.
4. Injecting some artistry into ur work environment. Acknowledging ur need for beauty in the work place.
5. Feeling OK with a 9 to 5 job, Monday through Friday type of job
6. Spiritual transformation is not the answer to everything.
7. Paying attention to ur health
8. Developing a more relaxed daily routine. Eating at ur leisure.
9. No longer sacrificing reality in the name of obsession. Sticking to a system.
10. Refusing to let people pressure u into changing jobs.
11. Being ok with a steady paycheck. Feeling content to be employed.
12. Learning to enjoy body therapies.
13. Learning to value ur health.
Cosmic Reward - benefits from ending (15) - follow my Destiny
Jul 2 Eve
Was reading MyBooksPublishedSoWhat and noted that complimentary copy be given.
I didn't give any. And I was disappointed that both J and Y didn't support me by buying a copy. And even when I text J, he didn't respond. Perhaps they tot I should have given them a copy instead. Mmm.
North node in Taurus, South node in Scorpio
From past incarnations, you have become accustomed to attuning yourself to a peculiar brand of intensity, which when not allowed to express itself, turns to anger.
You have become deeply scarred with the pain of being hurt and now like a wounded animal can be deadly to any who represent the slightest treat.
Due to intense emotion constantly seeking expression, a variety of creative outlets are needed.
Sexual desire must be transmuted into Divine Love. All embittering conditions from past incarnations must be dropped from ur consciousness until the new seed of consciousness is discovered. The Scorpio south node must burn the bridges of the past and resolve to benefit from the lessons of Lot's wife; "Never look back".
Through the Taurus North node, u must learn not to dissipate or waste power that flows within u in valueless area. U r to be brought to the awareness that the abundance of the universe is so great that you always have what you need when u need it. U must remember that u r surrounded by what u need at every moment and not what u want.
As u reach for ur Taurus node, u r reaching, at last, for stability. You can stop chasing all that you have ever felt cheated by seeing all that is now offered to u.
Ultimately, you are destined in this life to reach a state of contentment as the seething volcanoes of Scorpio melt into the blue spirit waters of harmony in Taurus - where the beloved Gautam Buddha left his blessing. Truly, this is the transition from lifetimes of war into a garden of peace.
Soul
What a timely find. It is true. I am destined for peace.
Read both North node in Taurus and South node in Scorpio.
Amazingly, I also found out that Carl Jung, also used Astrology in his practices. And my take is that me releasing Z is the right thing to do. I had some nagging doubts cos the wants for him keep surfacing. Alas, I now knew it was my past sexual karmic influence that holds me back. Father, thank U for this final release. It feels great. Like You said, I will always be given what I need.
Joy ong
Need to update profile to show I led my daily life. Using natal chart, personality page, 7thunder and Osho. Combine all with daily meditation. Following my need to express by writing.
In the end, my strength is in the ability to heal myself. To find my self using tools. My role is to share the tools, to share my journey and insights.
My motto was suffering is blessing. But I have now past the need for suffering before I see. So, to me, there is no need for suffering, we r meant only to be happy.
Was reading MyBooksPublishedSoWhat and noted that complimentary copy be given.
I didn't give any. And I was disappointed that both J and Y didn't support me by buying a copy. And even when I text J, he didn't respond. Perhaps they tot I should have given them a copy instead. Mmm.
North node in Taurus, South node in Scorpio
From past incarnations, you have become accustomed to attuning yourself to a peculiar brand of intensity, which when not allowed to express itself, turns to anger.
You have become deeply scarred with the pain of being hurt and now like a wounded animal can be deadly to any who represent the slightest treat.
Due to intense emotion constantly seeking expression, a variety of creative outlets are needed.
Sexual desire must be transmuted into Divine Love. All embittering conditions from past incarnations must be dropped from ur consciousness until the new seed of consciousness is discovered. The Scorpio south node must burn the bridges of the past and resolve to benefit from the lessons of Lot's wife; "Never look back".
Through the Taurus North node, u must learn not to dissipate or waste power that flows within u in valueless area. U r to be brought to the awareness that the abundance of the universe is so great that you always have what you need when u need it. U must remember that u r surrounded by what u need at every moment and not what u want.
As u reach for ur Taurus node, u r reaching, at last, for stability. You can stop chasing all that you have ever felt cheated by seeing all that is now offered to u.
Ultimately, you are destined in this life to reach a state of contentment as the seething volcanoes of Scorpio melt into the blue spirit waters of harmony in Taurus - where the beloved Gautam Buddha left his blessing. Truly, this is the transition from lifetimes of war into a garden of peace.
Soul
What a timely find. It is true. I am destined for peace.
Read both North node in Taurus and South node in Scorpio.
Amazingly, I also found out that Carl Jung, also used Astrology in his practices. And my take is that me releasing Z is the right thing to do. I had some nagging doubts cos the wants for him keep surfacing. Alas, I now knew it was my past sexual karmic influence that holds me back. Father, thank U for this final release. It feels great. Like You said, I will always be given what I need.
Joy ong
Need to update profile to show I led my daily life. Using natal chart, personality page, 7thunder and Osho. Combine all with daily meditation. Following my need to express by writing.
In the end, my strength is in the ability to heal myself. To find my self using tools. My role is to share the tools, to share my journey and insights.
My motto was suffering is blessing. But I have now past the need for suffering before I see. So, to me, there is no need for suffering, we r meant only to be happy.
I am freed from my Z
Jul 2
Father, today swimming was fine. I could either focus on the water or focus on floating. Did have one or two panic attacks but I was fine. I had a joyful time in the pool.
Just did Isha Kriya initiation by Sadhguru. It was good. In the video, he said when we can do away with suffering once we detached ourselves from our mind and body.
And if there is no more suffering, we need not be fearful and can walk our life in full gear.
At first I tot of Z, and then I dismissed it as I wanted to walk all the way with him but he couldn't. Then I tot of my writing. Me hiding away from my writing, fear of failure, fear of being found lacking, fear of exposure. Aiyoh, no wonder cannot come out.
The Power of Intention
Stay on the active side of the infinite, where all of the energy for creation exists in everlasting supply. Night and day, dream of what u intend to do, intend to be, and those dreams will interpret ur intentions. Let no doubt into ur dreams and intentions.
Life Expansion
When u really know what you don't want; you really know what you do want - but you are far apart. So the more you turn and go with the flow (what you want but think you can't have), your contrast become less exaggerated.
The more you don't have it, the more you want it - the Stream goes faster n faster but you still paddling cos you not sure if you can have it.
Until you come into alignment - knowing u can have what you want, there is not enough action in the world that can manifest it in ur life.
Your work isn't convincing someone to give you what you want; your work is just to find relief from wherever you are. When you get good at finding relief, you begin to flow wit the Stream and those things that have been downstream waiting for you to queue up wit them will begin to connect wit you wit such extraordinary persistence that people who are watching you will wonder what in the world has happened to you.
They will speak of you who barely begin to speak what they want and it seems that Heaven and Earth begin moving toward the fulfillment of it. Your life become extraordinary.
Soul
Things are falling in place.
(Jul 29 - Father, I dreamt of my relationship. I dreamt of me doing my writing. I now know I deserved to be loved and cherished. When I tot of myself being cherished, I can feel joy in me.)
Father, today swimming was fine. I could either focus on the water or focus on floating. Did have one or two panic attacks but I was fine. I had a joyful time in the pool.
Just did Isha Kriya initiation by Sadhguru. It was good. In the video, he said when we can do away with suffering once we detached ourselves from our mind and body.
And if there is no more suffering, we need not be fearful and can walk our life in full gear.
At first I tot of Z, and then I dismissed it as I wanted to walk all the way with him but he couldn't. Then I tot of my writing. Me hiding away from my writing, fear of failure, fear of being found lacking, fear of exposure. Aiyoh, no wonder cannot come out.
The Power of Intention
Stay on the active side of the infinite, where all of the energy for creation exists in everlasting supply. Night and day, dream of what u intend to do, intend to be, and those dreams will interpret ur intentions. Let no doubt into ur dreams and intentions.
Life Expansion
When u really know what you don't want; you really know what you do want - but you are far apart. So the more you turn and go with the flow (what you want but think you can't have), your contrast become less exaggerated.
The more you don't have it, the more you want it - the Stream goes faster n faster but you still paddling cos you not sure if you can have it.
Until you come into alignment - knowing u can have what you want, there is not enough action in the world that can manifest it in ur life.
Your work isn't convincing someone to give you what you want; your work is just to find relief from wherever you are. When you get good at finding relief, you begin to flow wit the Stream and those things that have been downstream waiting for you to queue up wit them will begin to connect wit you wit such extraordinary persistence that people who are watching you will wonder what in the world has happened to you.
They will speak of you who barely begin to speak what they want and it seems that Heaven and Earth begin moving toward the fulfillment of it. Your life become extraordinary.
Soul
Things are falling in place.
(Jul 29 - Father, I dreamt of my relationship. I dreamt of me doing my writing. I now know I deserved to be loved and cherished. When I tot of myself being cherished, I can feel joy in me.)
Benefits of meditation
Jul 1
Father, did my practice today.
Quotes
If u limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what u truly want and all that is left is a compromise. - Robert Fritz.
If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it - Brendan Behan.
Soul
Do I really want my writing? Father, this episode with the major client shake me? I felt loss of control. I cannot rely on others for my livelihood. Aiyah, maybe just lay low as today is Seven of Club.
Father, now reading thru Infinity Publishing ebook. And they constantly mention about Benjamin Franklin, someone that I really connect to. I am somewhat like him.
And today I got Oprah email address. This is a start and my Vision book is turning out nicely. Amen.
Father, thank U. Today I also got Oprah email and now Benjamin Franklin platform.
And I was able to detach and revert to teacher. For the first few minutes, there were defensive tots and I started to say I want to back out but I stop cos that is not the platform.
I was able to rise to the occasion. In truth, she is more of a giver than all of us. She gave up everything to be a volunteer and she is controller and hence everything falls back to her.
Mmm, Seven of Club. I didn't succumb to negative tots. Father, I don't take things as personally as before. Thank U.
Father, did my practice today.
Quotes
If u limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what u truly want and all that is left is a compromise. - Robert Fritz.
If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it - Brendan Behan.
Soul
Do I really want my writing? Father, this episode with the major client shake me? I felt loss of control. I cannot rely on others for my livelihood. Aiyah, maybe just lay low as today is Seven of Club.
Father, now reading thru Infinity Publishing ebook. And they constantly mention about Benjamin Franklin, someone that I really connect to. I am somewhat like him.
And today I got Oprah email address. This is a start and my Vision book is turning out nicely. Amen.
Father, thank U. Today I also got Oprah email and now Benjamin Franklin platform.
And I was able to detach and revert to teacher. For the first few minutes, there were defensive tots and I started to say I want to back out but I stop cos that is not the platform.
I was able to rise to the occasion. In truth, she is more of a giver than all of us. She gave up everything to be a volunteer and she is controller and hence everything falls back to her.
Mmm, Seven of Club. I didn't succumb to negative tots. Father, I don't take things as personally as before. Thank U.
Cosmic Reward - acceptance of ending (6) - in a good place
Jun 30 Aft
Father, I felt thankfulness for Z. I am slowly but surely accepted the ending in peacefully.
I now understand his power of control is derived from his determination in overcoming all his challenges. And I now look at my challenge in letting go of him. I can and will do.
I also no longer take it personally that he doesn't care enough for me to change his plan. Actually he is just determined to keep to his plans and its his virtue and its what attract me to him in the first place. So, I can fault something that I have applauded and something I wanted for myself. Let me take this situation to bring up my own personal power, just be like him.
I wish him all the best and hope he gets what he wants. He deserved it.
And I also know that the ending is good for me. I deserved to be loved correctly. My Nine of Heart in Pluto in 2009 gave rise to Ace of Heart in 2010.
And it is clear to me. My lovability is dependent on me loving myself and not how others love me. Their love for me is dependent on their own lovability and not mine.
Just now tot of putting in my personal msg; "Be true to yourself, whatever you are is good"
But I decided that I am still fragile. There will be no at all communication until sathsang day.
Just now I did shoonya and I went in deep. So peaceful. Amen. Thanks to Sadhguru.
And today I finally got a response from Infinite Publishing. I will sign up with them later. For now I want to complete my reading. Tomorrow I will take half day off so I can read the book.
The Science of Mind
That which defiles
Not what we eat or drink, but what we think, defiles. The issues of lifes from within. If a man is clean in his mind, then is he clean indeed. We must keep the mental house free from any thought which contradict the truth of being.
Life is what consciousness makes it.
Let's each resolve to be true to himself, true to his inner light, true to the Truth, as he understands it. Truth alone can endure.
Soul
Now I knew why my spiritual experience is going fine without me going veg. Its all in the mind.
Father, these last one week, I found myself not so easy to bend. Suddenly a tot came, u r developing will power. Z can never bend and his will power is great. Mmm, I am not sure about that. I am thinking if I am resisting something.
The Science of Mind
A steadfast determination to attain some purpose, the letting go of all that opposes it, a complete reliance upon the Law of Good, and an unqualified trust in Spirit - this is true fasting and real prayer.
Seven of Diamond
Whether it is about money, or plans to make money or love, situations will present themselves that test our faith in the abundance of the universe. By realising and then releasing our fears, we can transform our attachment into total fearlessness and personal freedom.
Jun 30 Eve
Father, I did my practice. At first I was lost in tots of Z, especially our last night together. Then I was fine during samyama.
Father, I know and accepted the ending and I also didn't want to start again. But that doesn't stop me from wanting him.
This afternoon, coincidentally met the expat in the elevator. We were both late. Alas, no tot of attraction and infact he smells of tobacco. Previously I didn't mind smokers but now that I had Z, I prefer non smokers. When u don't like to smoke and don't smoke, u would prefers non smoker too. At least, I won't judge Z.
Father, I still feel slight stiffness on higher back and my plough back is not as great. What is it??
Father, I want him but I can't have him. And I know I will be unhappy if I stay with him. Mmm, tonite I miss him loads.
Father, I need to focus on my writing to forget Z.
Father, I felt thankfulness for Z. I am slowly but surely accepted the ending in peacefully.
I now understand his power of control is derived from his determination in overcoming all his challenges. And I now look at my challenge in letting go of him. I can and will do.
I also no longer take it personally that he doesn't care enough for me to change his plan. Actually he is just determined to keep to his plans and its his virtue and its what attract me to him in the first place. So, I can fault something that I have applauded and something I wanted for myself. Let me take this situation to bring up my own personal power, just be like him.
I wish him all the best and hope he gets what he wants. He deserved it.
And I also know that the ending is good for me. I deserved to be loved correctly. My Nine of Heart in Pluto in 2009 gave rise to Ace of Heart in 2010.
And it is clear to me. My lovability is dependent on me loving myself and not how others love me. Their love for me is dependent on their own lovability and not mine.
Just now tot of putting in my personal msg; "Be true to yourself, whatever you are is good"
But I decided that I am still fragile. There will be no at all communication until sathsang day.
Just now I did shoonya and I went in deep. So peaceful. Amen. Thanks to Sadhguru.
And today I finally got a response from Infinite Publishing. I will sign up with them later. For now I want to complete my reading. Tomorrow I will take half day off so I can read the book.
The Science of Mind
That which defiles
Not what we eat or drink, but what we think, defiles. The issues of lifes from within. If a man is clean in his mind, then is he clean indeed. We must keep the mental house free from any thought which contradict the truth of being.
Life is what consciousness makes it.
Let's each resolve to be true to himself, true to his inner light, true to the Truth, as he understands it. Truth alone can endure.
Soul
Now I knew why my spiritual experience is going fine without me going veg. Its all in the mind.
Father, these last one week, I found myself not so easy to bend. Suddenly a tot came, u r developing will power. Z can never bend and his will power is great. Mmm, I am not sure about that. I am thinking if I am resisting something.
The Science of Mind
A steadfast determination to attain some purpose, the letting go of all that opposes it, a complete reliance upon the Law of Good, and an unqualified trust in Spirit - this is true fasting and real prayer.
Seven of Diamond
Whether it is about money, or plans to make money or love, situations will present themselves that test our faith in the abundance of the universe. By realising and then releasing our fears, we can transform our attachment into total fearlessness and personal freedom.
Jun 30 Eve
Father, I did my practice. At first I was lost in tots of Z, especially our last night together. Then I was fine during samyama.
Father, I know and accepted the ending and I also didn't want to start again. But that doesn't stop me from wanting him.
This afternoon, coincidentally met the expat in the elevator. We were both late. Alas, no tot of attraction and infact he smells of tobacco. Previously I didn't mind smokers but now that I had Z, I prefer non smokers. When u don't like to smoke and don't smoke, u would prefers non smoker too. At least, I won't judge Z.
Father, I still feel slight stiffness on higher back and my plough back is not as great. What is it??
Father, I want him but I can't have him. And I know I will be unhappy if I stay with him. Mmm, tonite I miss him loads.
Father, I need to focus on my writing to forget Z.
Cosmic Reward - benefits from ending (14) - learning from Z
Jun 30
Father, thank U. Did my practices and today managed to accompany family to hospital.
Now reading my Year Card
Destiny's Pluto Card
Seven of Spade
Destiny Results
Eight of Spades
As a result of contending with ur Pluto, is the element of developing a strong will power and determination that can help u overcome any obstacles in ur path.
Soul
No wonder Z has so much will power. One of his attraction was that he is a self-made man and the fact he overcome so many challenges. He has loads of will power.
Father, yea, that's what I want for myself. Like he said I am a lazy bum.
I do have loads of creative ideas and also blessed with inherent knowledge. But somehow I never pursued them. The only one I really go out for was Isha. But that wasn't difficult with the exception of food. Waking up earlier and delaying food is not an issue per se.
Suddenly a tot occurred. Overcome challenges requires will power. I did use will power to start with Z. And now also need will power to end with Z. Yea, I could learn from him. Even when I was ending with him and I said it will not be easy. He told me don't say that but be positive that I can end it.
Father, he is not my man and I really wish he will get his woman and I know he will. He deserved it cos he is real diamond.
Ace of Heart
Our relationships always reflect how we love ourselves,
Soul
This morning I tot of my sisters and their spouse. All of them need their spouse mainly for physical purpose. They are all mentally and financially capable and is able to handle emotion except for 2nd sis. No wonder none of them married financially capable guy.
Me, I too am like that. I need a partner for physical purpose. So that's I end it with Z. The touch and go concept doesn't come with physical purpose. So, what's the point.
So, why stay with a man that I cannot have with me physically in both short and long term.
Previously I was searching for smart guys that is financially capable. But somehow I cannot open up to them.
Then with Z, it was mostly physical. He is financially strapped but I wasn't worried. No wonder I open up to him and enjoyed his company. Alas, he is the turning point for me. Thanks.
Father, thank U. Did my practices and today managed to accompany family to hospital.
Now reading my Year Card
Destiny's Pluto Card
Seven of Spade
Destiny Results
Eight of Spades
As a result of contending with ur Pluto, is the element of developing a strong will power and determination that can help u overcome any obstacles in ur path.
Soul
No wonder Z has so much will power. One of his attraction was that he is a self-made man and the fact he overcome so many challenges. He has loads of will power.
Father, yea, that's what I want for myself. Like he said I am a lazy bum.
I do have loads of creative ideas and also blessed with inherent knowledge. But somehow I never pursued them. The only one I really go out for was Isha. But that wasn't difficult with the exception of food. Waking up earlier and delaying food is not an issue per se.
Suddenly a tot occurred. Overcome challenges requires will power. I did use will power to start with Z. And now also need will power to end with Z. Yea, I could learn from him. Even when I was ending with him and I said it will not be easy. He told me don't say that but be positive that I can end it.
Father, he is not my man and I really wish he will get his woman and I know he will. He deserved it cos he is real diamond.
Ace of Heart
Our relationships always reflect how we love ourselves,
Soul
This morning I tot of my sisters and their spouse. All of them need their spouse mainly for physical purpose. They are all mentally and financially capable and is able to handle emotion except for 2nd sis. No wonder none of them married financially capable guy.
Me, I too am like that. I need a partner for physical purpose. So that's I end it with Z. The touch and go concept doesn't come with physical purpose. So, what's the point.
So, why stay with a man that I cannot have with me physically in both short and long term.
Previously I was searching for smart guys that is financially capable. But somehow I cannot open up to them.
Then with Z, it was mostly physical. He is financially strapped but I wasn't worried. No wonder I open up to him and enjoyed his company. Alas, he is the turning point for me. Thanks.
Cosmic Reward - acceptance of ending (5) - in a good place
Jun 29
Did my practice and it was fine. Still misses Z and project. But I remind myself there is no hope.
I also remind myself the ending with Z is to activate my writing to pursue my Destiny. So, I have started to try to change my tots to writing when I have tots of Z.
The Science of Mind
How are we to regain the lost Paradise? Only through soul culture and by careful self analysis.
All people need some form of healing. Most people are unhappy, few have any realisation of permanent peace. We seek fragments, when the whole is at hand.
Only that world can appear to us which we mentally perceive. Man's experience is the logical outcome of his inner vision; his horizon is limited to the confines of his own consciousness. Whenever this consciousness lacks a true perspective, the outward expression will lack proper harmony. The mirror of life cannot help reflecting back to us that which we really are. Unless one conceives of himself as possessing good things, he will not possess them.
Jun 29 Eve
Today is 2 weeks after our final call. I know the decision is correct eventhough I miss him so.
I don't want someone that I cannot have. I have never been the type to window shop.
Coincidentally the basin in my room that was stuck for the past 1 month finally is cleared and now water can flow.
Perhaps this is the msg, once I am ready to go with the flow, it too flow.
Father, slowly but surely I am letting go. Just now when I was meditating, I tot of D expat guy I met during training, which I may meet tomorrow. My mind is a real wizard, spinning and spinning.
Ya, before I forget. Major shake up in the company. I will need to prepare action plan and do the Revised Budget. This would have previously freaked me out and I would take it personally. And it did trigger for a moment and I brush it aside. Looks like both Ruling and Destiny's Long range was right. Indeed I need to work hard and I am thinking about big money.
Ruling in Mercury - July to mid Aug
Ruling cards
Two of Diamond - quick business arrangement
Seven of Clubs - u r being exposed to higher way of thinking and will be given opportunities to transform negativity into revelation. Maybe u notice how much u r worrying and want to change it. Now is the time to practice positive affirmation. You truly are what u think, and now u r given a chance to prove it.
Destiny in Mercury
King of Diamonds - u could see urself attaining a quick but significant financial success by applying ur savvy and quick thinking to some idea or business. U have a very good influence for success. Use ur mind now. The ideas u get could be worth more than u think
Soul
I will do brilliant action plan.
Five of Diamonds
Sudden and unexpected change in employment, material circumstances. This is possibly an unexpected loos of money. Change is up in the air.
Soul
Definitely due to major client refusal to renew contract, causing major change.
(Jul 29 - King of Diamond is also boss's Ruling card and thats means I have good communication with her.)
Did my practice and it was fine. Still misses Z and project. But I remind myself there is no hope.
I also remind myself the ending with Z is to activate my writing to pursue my Destiny. So, I have started to try to change my tots to writing when I have tots of Z.
The Science of Mind
How are we to regain the lost Paradise? Only through soul culture and by careful self analysis.
All people need some form of healing. Most people are unhappy, few have any realisation of permanent peace. We seek fragments, when the whole is at hand.
Only that world can appear to us which we mentally perceive. Man's experience is the logical outcome of his inner vision; his horizon is limited to the confines of his own consciousness. Whenever this consciousness lacks a true perspective, the outward expression will lack proper harmony. The mirror of life cannot help reflecting back to us that which we really are. Unless one conceives of himself as possessing good things, he will not possess them.
Jun 29 Eve
Today is 2 weeks after our final call. I know the decision is correct eventhough I miss him so.
I don't want someone that I cannot have. I have never been the type to window shop.
Coincidentally the basin in my room that was stuck for the past 1 month finally is cleared and now water can flow.
Perhaps this is the msg, once I am ready to go with the flow, it too flow.
Father, slowly but surely I am letting go. Just now when I was meditating, I tot of D expat guy I met during training, which I may meet tomorrow. My mind is a real wizard, spinning and spinning.
Ya, before I forget. Major shake up in the company. I will need to prepare action plan and do the Revised Budget. This would have previously freaked me out and I would take it personally. And it did trigger for a moment and I brush it aside. Looks like both Ruling and Destiny's Long range was right. Indeed I need to work hard and I am thinking about big money.
Ruling in Mercury - July to mid Aug
Ruling cards
Two of Diamond - quick business arrangement
Seven of Clubs - u r being exposed to higher way of thinking and will be given opportunities to transform negativity into revelation. Maybe u notice how much u r worrying and want to change it. Now is the time to practice positive affirmation. You truly are what u think, and now u r given a chance to prove it.
Destiny in Mercury
King of Diamonds - u could see urself attaining a quick but significant financial success by applying ur savvy and quick thinking to some idea or business. U have a very good influence for success. Use ur mind now. The ideas u get could be worth more than u think
Soul
I will do brilliant action plan.
Five of Diamonds
Sudden and unexpected change in employment, material circumstances. This is possibly an unexpected loos of money. Change is up in the air.
Soul
Definitely due to major client refusal to renew contract, causing major change.
(Jul 29 - King of Diamond is also boss's Ruling card and thats means I have good communication with her.)
Cosmic Reward - benefits (14) - in a good place
Jun 28
Father, did my practice. I was surprised that I had little tots of Z.
Suddenly tot that before proceeding to Queen's destiny, I may need to overcome Pluto's challenge
Ace of Diamonds - means desire for money or birth of a new way of earning money. All Aces represent new beginnings, a desire for something that starts a new cycle of creating. Aces are the representative of pure creative energy.
Diamonds represent our value systems, the things that we like or dislike, treasure or discard. So, the Ace of Diamonds mean that we experience the birth of a new value or that we suddenly like or want something that we didn't before.
Because diamonds are commonly associated with money and our work, the Ace of Diamonds can mean the beginning of new financial enterprise or the desire to obtain money for a specific purpose.
Soul
Natal chart said I was reincarnated to create my own wealth. And here I wanted to marry into wealth.
I am not a creator per se.
Ace of Diamonds is ur Pluto card
Making major changes in the way u relate to money and finances. A strong impetus is present that will most likely motivate u into action to create more prosperity in ur life. It is likely that u will make entirely new plans for creating more wealth, perhaps launching a new business or financial enterprise.
To achieve ur financial goals, u will have to make many changes in the way u do things. This will not always be easy.
Affirmation
My strong desires for financial prosperity transform me and my actions. I create new beginnings for me, my work and life.
Soul
When I saw the affirmation, I noted the resistance of creating prosperity as I knew it comes with prices to pay.
Father, did my practice. I was surprised that I had little tots of Z.
Suddenly tot that before proceeding to Queen's destiny, I may need to overcome Pluto's challenge
Ace of Diamonds - means desire for money or birth of a new way of earning money. All Aces represent new beginnings, a desire for something that starts a new cycle of creating. Aces are the representative of pure creative energy.
Diamonds represent our value systems, the things that we like or dislike, treasure or discard. So, the Ace of Diamonds mean that we experience the birth of a new value or that we suddenly like or want something that we didn't before.
Because diamonds are commonly associated with money and our work, the Ace of Diamonds can mean the beginning of new financial enterprise or the desire to obtain money for a specific purpose.
Soul
Natal chart said I was reincarnated to create my own wealth. And here I wanted to marry into wealth.
I am not a creator per se.
Ace of Diamonds is ur Pluto card
Making major changes in the way u relate to money and finances. A strong impetus is present that will most likely motivate u into action to create more prosperity in ur life. It is likely that u will make entirely new plans for creating more wealth, perhaps launching a new business or financial enterprise.
To achieve ur financial goals, u will have to make many changes in the way u do things. This will not always be easy.
Affirmation
My strong desires for financial prosperity transform me and my actions. I create new beginnings for me, my work and life.
Soul
When I saw the affirmation, I noted the resistance of creating prosperity as I knew it comes with prices to pay.
Cosmic Reward - benefits (13) - in a good place
Jun 27 Nite
Father, I felt much better since I found out my value is the writing and not Z. He is just a catalyst for my writing. Today, I open up a bit to teacher. Which is good, at least she knew why I need to pull back my involvement in Isha then.
S just called me that she found the courage to propose a break up. I told her congrats and I am happy for her. There were hiccups along the way and when I changed, our rship changed too.
Mahatma Gandhi
We must be the change we want to see in this world.
Soul
What I want to see is that we lead our life with happiness and not with future unhappiness.
With Z, I enter into rship overcoming fear of future unhappiness. I now end it because it is so good that I want more and because he doesn't want it, I become unhappy. So, I end it not because of future but because of current. I had no regrets with the rship. He is still in my prayer.
The Power of Intention
As long as ur wishes are aligned with the forward movement of this everlasting principle, there's nothing in nature to restrict u from attaining the fulfillment of those wishes.
It is only when u choose to allow ego to oppose the expanding, receptive forward movement of the infinite mind of intention that the realisation of ur wishes doesn't feel fulfulled.
Soul
Same message about Miser.
The Power of Intention
If life is infinite, then this is not life. We must conclude that life, in terms of our body and all its achievements and possessions, which without exception begins and ends in dust, isn't life itself. Anything u experience as other than eternal is simply not life.
So, see yourself as an infinite spiritual being having a human experience, rather than a human being having an occasional spiritual experience, is loaded with fear for most people. I urge u to look at those fears and face them directly right now; the result will be a permanent connection to the abundance and receptivity of the universal Source that intends all of Creation into temporary form.
Soul
I am a Spiritual being; I am not a human being. Sadness is not permanent nor pervasive.
Father, I felt much better since I found out my value is the writing and not Z. He is just a catalyst for my writing. Today, I open up a bit to teacher. Which is good, at least she knew why I need to pull back my involvement in Isha then.
S just called me that she found the courage to propose a break up. I told her congrats and I am happy for her. There were hiccups along the way and when I changed, our rship changed too.
Mahatma Gandhi
We must be the change we want to see in this world.
Soul
What I want to see is that we lead our life with happiness and not with future unhappiness.
With Z, I enter into rship overcoming fear of future unhappiness. I now end it because it is so good that I want more and because he doesn't want it, I become unhappy. So, I end it not because of future but because of current. I had no regrets with the rship. He is still in my prayer.
The Power of Intention
As long as ur wishes are aligned with the forward movement of this everlasting principle, there's nothing in nature to restrict u from attaining the fulfillment of those wishes.
It is only when u choose to allow ego to oppose the expanding, receptive forward movement of the infinite mind of intention that the realisation of ur wishes doesn't feel fulfulled.
Soul
Same message about Miser.
The Power of Intention
If life is infinite, then this is not life. We must conclude that life, in terms of our body and all its achievements and possessions, which without exception begins and ends in dust, isn't life itself. Anything u experience as other than eternal is simply not life.
So, see yourself as an infinite spiritual being having a human experience, rather than a human being having an occasional spiritual experience, is loaded with fear for most people. I urge u to look at those fears and face them directly right now; the result will be a permanent connection to the abundance and receptivity of the universal Source that intends all of Creation into temporary form.
Soul
I am a Spiritual being; I am not a human being. Sadness is not permanent nor pervasive.
Cosmic Reward - benefits from ending (11) _ Natal Chart
Jun 27 Eve
Father, I am updating my blog. My last insight was that both Z and me is hiding. Z hides me and I hides my writing. I was energised to work on my writing. But I couldn't start and instead I focus on Z so I can avoid starting.
Aiyoh, both Z and writing also not easy. If u asked me, taking Z may be easier as I only face him. But taking my writing, I really don't know how.
Father, I know I am avoiding my writing. Help me to get onboard.
Father, suddenly the Osho cards make sense
1. Issue - Compromise
Yea, I wanted to avoid my writing.
2. Internal - Outsider
I couldn't find my door out to open myself, my writing. I finally found the door.
3. External - Miser
I don't want to share my writing. I hold on to being anonymous.
4. What to do - Burden
Release my reputation, ignore what others think
5. Resolution - Inner voice
Conflict remove.
Updating blog and saw this
Natal Chart
4 or more planets in Earth signs
If u find that u r becoming bored or depressed, you should realised that ur values are misplaced and that ur sense of security is false. If u r not happy, change ur status quo and embrace the unknown. When paralysed by fears and inhibitions, breathe deeply and move slowly and deliberately towards what you want.
Soul
What I want is to be freed to follow my destiny as a Transformational Writer. I wrote stories that lights up people's minds. No wonder I felt in limbo, just feeling depressed. Z is gone and I m trying to create hope. I ignore my writing.
Natal Chart
Five or more planets in fixed signs
Once u make up ur mind and are willing to pay the price, u usually get what u want. It may take time and u may have to overcome obstacles, but that is no matter. If u r committed, u r a powerhouse. After u overcome inertia, u r persevering, steady and stable.
Soul
I know. I now need to cross over.
Supertalent
You r so blessed that u make a natural minister. U r both wise and psychic.
Soul
Amen. That's what Sl and St said to me.
Father, I am facing 2 issue - one in opening up writing and second the achievement aspect. Why don't I just let go of the achievement and just open up my writing. Like I did by removing the blog link. I am ok selling book, but writing continues and I need to do written counsel and I can cos I am both wise and psychic.
Natal chart
Chiron in Pisces
Give some sagacious tot to how u can best help those who cannot help themselves. Do it reverentially.
Uranus
Share insights, realisations and revelation.
The tone of ur life is vastly different than that of most mortal.
Soul
This is it. My natal chart points to it.
Father, I am updating my blog. My last insight was that both Z and me is hiding. Z hides me and I hides my writing. I was energised to work on my writing. But I couldn't start and instead I focus on Z so I can avoid starting.
Aiyoh, both Z and writing also not easy. If u asked me, taking Z may be easier as I only face him. But taking my writing, I really don't know how.
Father, I know I am avoiding my writing. Help me to get onboard.
Father, suddenly the Osho cards make sense
1. Issue - Compromise
Yea, I wanted to avoid my writing.
2. Internal - Outsider
I couldn't find my door out to open myself, my writing. I finally found the door.
3. External - Miser
I don't want to share my writing. I hold on to being anonymous.
4. What to do - Burden
Release my reputation, ignore what others think
5. Resolution - Inner voice
Conflict remove.
Updating blog and saw this
Natal Chart
4 or more planets in Earth signs
If u find that u r becoming bored or depressed, you should realised that ur values are misplaced and that ur sense of security is false. If u r not happy, change ur status quo and embrace the unknown. When paralysed by fears and inhibitions, breathe deeply and move slowly and deliberately towards what you want.
Soul
What I want is to be freed to follow my destiny as a Transformational Writer. I wrote stories that lights up people's minds. No wonder I felt in limbo, just feeling depressed. Z is gone and I m trying to create hope. I ignore my writing.
Natal Chart
Five or more planets in fixed signs
Once u make up ur mind and are willing to pay the price, u usually get what u want. It may take time and u may have to overcome obstacles, but that is no matter. If u r committed, u r a powerhouse. After u overcome inertia, u r persevering, steady and stable.
Soul
I know. I now need to cross over.
Supertalent
You r so blessed that u make a natural minister. U r both wise and psychic.
Soul
Amen. That's what Sl and St said to me.
Father, I am facing 2 issue - one in opening up writing and second the achievement aspect. Why don't I just let go of the achievement and just open up my writing. Like I did by removing the blog link. I am ok selling book, but writing continues and I need to do written counsel and I can cos I am both wise and psychic.
Natal chart
Chiron in Pisces
Give some sagacious tot to how u can best help those who cannot help themselves. Do it reverentially.
Uranus
Share insights, realisations and revelation.
The tone of ur life is vastly different than that of most mortal.
Soul
This is it. My natal chart points to it.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Cosmic Lesson (72) - wavering of ending (4)
Jun 27 aft
Father, deep within me, I wonder why Z couldn't be with me. We have such great time and we fit each other so well. Why doesn't he think I am worth it? Why doesn't he give us a chance? Why can't he take a risk?
I have 2 options. I could either think his ability to love is becos he can't do so now as he has to stick to his plan. If that's the case, I should know cos he already told me that we on touch and go and these 1.5 years he cannot commit to anyone. He just want to focus on his education and business.
Aiyah. Forget it. Don't want to prolong tots of him in me. Just let go.
Day card
Five of Hearts
Speaks of changes and restlessness in ur heart which can manifest in many ways. At the deepest level, u will probably be feeling a dissatisfaction with ur current rship or home situation and desire some sort of change.
When this card appears, there is always the chance of separation or divorce with someone u love.
Highest manifestation
Going out meeting new people, telling others abt what u r doing and who u r. U can make important contacts when this card is around.
1. The Issue
Compromise
Don't be clever, otherwise u will remain the same, u will not change. Half techniques on the path of love and half techniques on the path of meditation will create much confusion in u. They will not help...But to ask for help is against the ego, so u try to compromise.
Compromise may be a way of not going in either direction or it may just be a repression of ur confusion. It will assert later.
And if u r confused, remember u r confused. This will be the clear cut thing about u. And u have started on the journey.
Soul
P was supportive of me. S said I am running away cos I felt insecure and I want to be in control. When she said that it hit me. But I did defend and says that some parameter/self preservation is good. Besides I didn't run away first few times. And this time I broke down cos I was sad that I can't have him for keep. He brought me back to feeling of unlovability and I no longer want that. I am lovable and I deserve more.
S has always been on path of love and so is D. That's why I don't want to talk to D. I have chose the path of meditation and I will stay put.
My issue is I am intense emotionally and going on Path of love will destroy me. I must go on meditation path. It has worked well for me for past 3 years and 7thunder card also said its Pluto Seven of Heart. So, I will abide.
Today I am edgy. Just not my day and I need to lay low and persevere in my decision. So, I admit I am bit confuse cos so many tots of Z or could this be just a Pluto challenge of attachment.
And knowing abt M and S makes me think I have an obligation to fulfill, to walk by example. Set myself free.
Suddenly a tot came, there is many way to set myself free. Father, I am not sure, could this be the attachment mode. Father, I cannot trust myself anymore. I am worried I waiver and lost my Self-Mastery path. Father, I really don't know.
2. Internal influence
The Outsider
When we feel left out, excluded, it brings up feeling of being a small helpless child. Because it is deep rooted, it plays over and over again, like a tape, in our lives. You now have an opportunity now to stop the tape, to quit tormenting yourself with ideas that u r somehow not 'enough" to be accepted and included. Recognise this roots of these feeling in the past and let go of old pain. It will bring u clarity to see how u can open the gate and enter that which u most long to become.
You cannot see it, so u have to go deep down with great awareness, watchfulness, witnessing, and u will find the connection. The buddha is the connection!
Soul
When I got this card after our 1st break up talk. I was energised and instead of worried he would reject me, I said he wanted me and we will talk our way through. He also seems keen to do so but alas, the spanner of his ex marrying made him go back and he close all the way up.
A tot came, nope, he did try to talk about other options, he didn't want to end it. You drop the line.
I drop it because I don't want to get myself hooked. I don't want the insecurity, the uncertainty and it doesn't change. He may want me now but he didn't want me for keep.
So, now I am not sure. I don't know where this card means anymore.
3. External Influence of which u r aware
The miser
The moment u become miserly u r closed to the basic phenomenon of life: expansion, sharing.
The moment u start to cling to things, u have missed the target - things r not the target, you, your innermost being is the target. An open being, available to millions of things.
This card challenges us to look at what we r clinging to, and what we feel we possess that is so valuable it needs to be protected by a fortress. Like a well that is sealed up and become stagnant from disuse, our treasures become tarnished and worthless if u refused to share. Whatever u r holding on to, remember u can't take it. Loosen ur grip and feel the freedom and expansiveness sharing can bring.
Soul
What I now cling on is my self-respect, self preservation, self-control. If I lost this, I lost my self mastery. I invested too much.
Father, how come suddenly tot of me and Al. Me breaking down and her asking me to patch up and I said nope. Of cos, the next lesson was M.
Father, guide me. I really don't know. I need to hold on to my self-control.
3. What is needed for resolution?
The burden
A man's true life is the way in which he puts off the lie imposed by others on him. The truth cannot be achieved, it is already the case. Only the lie has to be dropped. All aims and ends and ideals and goals and idealogies, are lies.
See the lie, look deep into the lie of ur personality. In seeing of the lie, it disappears, and what is left is the truth.
Soul
Father, suddenly it occur to me the analogy. When I was a kid, I let go of self control and played and got burned. Now the same thing with Z. I let go of my control, I played and got burned.
Something here... Father, please help me to see with clarity. I am confused.
I stop playing for many years and now with Z. I don't want to be afraid to play anymore. I am afraid.
A tot occurred to me when S said she wanted to play. I was so scared for her that she let go of her self control.
5. Resolution
Inner Voice
If u found ur truth within urself, there is nothing more in this whole existence to find.
There are times in our lives when too many voices seem to be pulling us this way and that. Our very confusion in such situations is a reminder to seek silence and centering within. Only then are we able to hear our truth.
Father, deep within me, I wonder why Z couldn't be with me. We have such great time and we fit each other so well. Why doesn't he think I am worth it? Why doesn't he give us a chance? Why can't he take a risk?
I have 2 options. I could either think his ability to love is becos he can't do so now as he has to stick to his plan. If that's the case, I should know cos he already told me that we on touch and go and these 1.5 years he cannot commit to anyone. He just want to focus on his education and business.
Aiyah. Forget it. Don't want to prolong tots of him in me. Just let go.
Day card
Five of Hearts
Speaks of changes and restlessness in ur heart which can manifest in many ways. At the deepest level, u will probably be feeling a dissatisfaction with ur current rship or home situation and desire some sort of change.
When this card appears, there is always the chance of separation or divorce with someone u love.
Highest manifestation
Going out meeting new people, telling others abt what u r doing and who u r. U can make important contacts when this card is around.
1. The Issue
Compromise
Don't be clever, otherwise u will remain the same, u will not change. Half techniques on the path of love and half techniques on the path of meditation will create much confusion in u. They will not help...But to ask for help is against the ego, so u try to compromise.
Compromise may be a way of not going in either direction or it may just be a repression of ur confusion. It will assert later.
And if u r confused, remember u r confused. This will be the clear cut thing about u. And u have started on the journey.
Soul
P was supportive of me. S said I am running away cos I felt insecure and I want to be in control. When she said that it hit me. But I did defend and says that some parameter/self preservation is good. Besides I didn't run away first few times. And this time I broke down cos I was sad that I can't have him for keep. He brought me back to feeling of unlovability and I no longer want that. I am lovable and I deserve more.
S has always been on path of love and so is D. That's why I don't want to talk to D. I have chose the path of meditation and I will stay put.
My issue is I am intense emotionally and going on Path of love will destroy me. I must go on meditation path. It has worked well for me for past 3 years and 7thunder card also said its Pluto Seven of Heart. So, I will abide.
Today I am edgy. Just not my day and I need to lay low and persevere in my decision. So, I admit I am bit confuse cos so many tots of Z or could this be just a Pluto challenge of attachment.
And knowing abt M and S makes me think I have an obligation to fulfill, to walk by example. Set myself free.
Suddenly a tot came, there is many way to set myself free. Father, I am not sure, could this be the attachment mode. Father, I cannot trust myself anymore. I am worried I waiver and lost my Self-Mastery path. Father, I really don't know.
2. Internal influence
The Outsider
When we feel left out, excluded, it brings up feeling of being a small helpless child. Because it is deep rooted, it plays over and over again, like a tape, in our lives. You now have an opportunity now to stop the tape, to quit tormenting yourself with ideas that u r somehow not 'enough" to be accepted and included. Recognise this roots of these feeling in the past and let go of old pain. It will bring u clarity to see how u can open the gate and enter that which u most long to become.
You cannot see it, so u have to go deep down with great awareness, watchfulness, witnessing, and u will find the connection. The buddha is the connection!
Soul
When I got this card after our 1st break up talk. I was energised and instead of worried he would reject me, I said he wanted me and we will talk our way through. He also seems keen to do so but alas, the spanner of his ex marrying made him go back and he close all the way up.
A tot came, nope, he did try to talk about other options, he didn't want to end it. You drop the line.
I drop it because I don't want to get myself hooked. I don't want the insecurity, the uncertainty and it doesn't change. He may want me now but he didn't want me for keep.
So, now I am not sure. I don't know where this card means anymore.
3. External Influence of which u r aware
The miser
The moment u become miserly u r closed to the basic phenomenon of life: expansion, sharing.
The moment u start to cling to things, u have missed the target - things r not the target, you, your innermost being is the target. An open being, available to millions of things.
This card challenges us to look at what we r clinging to, and what we feel we possess that is so valuable it needs to be protected by a fortress. Like a well that is sealed up and become stagnant from disuse, our treasures become tarnished and worthless if u refused to share. Whatever u r holding on to, remember u can't take it. Loosen ur grip and feel the freedom and expansiveness sharing can bring.
Soul
What I now cling on is my self-respect, self preservation, self-control. If I lost this, I lost my self mastery. I invested too much.
Father, how come suddenly tot of me and Al. Me breaking down and her asking me to patch up and I said nope. Of cos, the next lesson was M.
Father, guide me. I really don't know. I need to hold on to my self-control.
3. What is needed for resolution?
The burden
A man's true life is the way in which he puts off the lie imposed by others on him. The truth cannot be achieved, it is already the case. Only the lie has to be dropped. All aims and ends and ideals and goals and idealogies, are lies.
See the lie, look deep into the lie of ur personality. In seeing of the lie, it disappears, and what is left is the truth.
Soul
Father, suddenly it occur to me the analogy. When I was a kid, I let go of self control and played and got burned. Now the same thing with Z. I let go of my control, I played and got burned.
Something here... Father, please help me to see with clarity. I am confused.
I stop playing for many years and now with Z. I don't want to be afraid to play anymore. I am afraid.
A tot occurred to me when S said she wanted to play. I was so scared for her that she let go of her self control.
5. Resolution
Inner Voice
If u found ur truth within urself, there is nothing more in this whole existence to find.
There are times in our lives when too many voices seem to be pulling us this way and that. Our very confusion in such situations is a reminder to seek silence and centering within. Only then are we able to hear our truth.
The science of mind
Jun 27
Father, did my practice. It was fine. Tots of Z has reduced bit. On the way to work, massive jam but I was just feeling happy. There were tots of Z too. Guess its raining and I would love to snuggle up with him.
Anyway, its just my mind. Just have to persevere.
The Science of Mind
Ans a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
There are no enemies external to our mind. Nothing can happen to us unless it happens through us. That which we refuse to accept, to us cannot be, and that which to us is, cannot help becoming a reality in our lives.
To each life brings the reward of his own visioning; to the pure, all is pure. To the righteous, all is righteous , and to the good, all is good. Each man is rewarded not for virtue but through virtue.
If one believes virtue consists in fasting, then virtue appears to him through fasting; but to him who find no virtue in fasting, feasting may appear to be a greater virtue. We are overly concerned with non-essentials, straining at gnats, while swallowing mountains of superstition.
Jesus tells us that the child-like mind is more receptive to Truth than the over-intellectual who demand too rational an explanation of those truths which must be accepted on faith alone.
God is revealed through the Son and the Son reveals himself to other sons when he realises that God is his life. If one would know God, he must penetrate deeply into his own nature, for here alone can he find Him. If he would reveal God to his fellowmen, he must do so by living such a God-like life, that the Divine Essence flows through him to others. The only way to know God is to be like Him.
Father, did my practice. It was fine. Tots of Z has reduced bit. On the way to work, massive jam but I was just feeling happy. There were tots of Z too. Guess its raining and I would love to snuggle up with him.
Anyway, its just my mind. Just have to persevere.
The Science of Mind
Ans a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
There are no enemies external to our mind. Nothing can happen to us unless it happens through us. That which we refuse to accept, to us cannot be, and that which to us is, cannot help becoming a reality in our lives.
To each life brings the reward of his own visioning; to the pure, all is pure. To the righteous, all is righteous , and to the good, all is good. Each man is rewarded not for virtue but through virtue.
If one believes virtue consists in fasting, then virtue appears to him through fasting; but to him who find no virtue in fasting, feasting may appear to be a greater virtue. We are overly concerned with non-essentials, straining at gnats, while swallowing mountains of superstition.
Jesus tells us that the child-like mind is more receptive to Truth than the over-intellectual who demand too rational an explanation of those truths which must be accepted on faith alone.
God is revealed through the Son and the Son reveals himself to other sons when he realises that God is his life. If one would know God, he must penetrate deeply into his own nature, for here alone can he find Him. If he would reveal God to his fellowmen, he must do so by living such a God-like life, that the Divine Essence flows through him to others. The only way to know God is to be like Him.
Cosmic Reward - benefits from ending (12)
Jun 26 Aft
Father, S just told me her rship issue and I felt a chill go through me. The guy is evil. He should know better and yet he drag her in. And I think the real objective may not because of my friend but the company's money.
And I tot of Z. Thank God he is a diamond.
Jun 26 Eve
Father, this weekend I didn't do any writing. Today S invited me for a chat. We had a good one and I am glad our rship settle down.
Just like M has difficulty in releasing her professional rship, she too has difficulty in releasing her professional and personal rship.
I told her about my own issue. I am slowly but surely releasing Z. This two days, I pleasured myself as I know I can no longer wait for Z. He won't be coming back.
I am not sure but I hope me releasing Z gave them courage to do their own release. Seeing them with their attachment makes me more determined to stick on to mine.
The Power of Intention
When u feel connected and in harmony with intention, u sense a major difference in how other people react to u.
1. Your presence instills calmness (power of love and receptivity)
People feel more at peace, less threatened, and more at ease. It judges no one, it encourages others to be free to be themselves. People who feel empowered by ur presence become kindred spirits. That can only happen if they feel safe rather than attacked, secure rather than judged, calm rather than harassed.
Soul
Suddenly tot of telling Z. I cannot talk to u now. When I recovered, we can do post mortum so we can have at least an easy casual fship.
No lah. I cannot as it will just create hope. Let's not go there. Just leave.
Yea, need not talk to him. Just be a loving presence and he will know I am fine and have no negative feelings on him.
2. Your presence leaves others feel energised.
U don't have to say a word. U don't have to act in any prescribed fashion. Ur energy alone will make others feel as if they have mysteriously been empowered. They want to assist u in fulfilling ur dream. They be energised and volunteer to help u.
Soul
Yes. Now I just energised during sathsang. I also need not contact Z again. Just let my presence tells him I am fine and in time we can fully release each other.
3. Ur presence allows others to feel better about themselves. Ur compassionate energy has the noticeably pleasant impact of simply making others feel really good about themselves.
People will sense that u care about them, understand them and are interested in them as unique individuals.
4. Ur presence allows others to feel unified.
5. Ur presence instills a sense of purpose
Ur presence and behaviour from a space of love, acceptance, non-judgement and kindness becomes a catalyst for others feeling on purpose in their lives.
6. Ur presence allows others to trust in authentic personal connections.
U notice both and inclination and a willingness on the part of others to open up and confide in u. This is related to the quality of trust. In the atmosphere of higher energy, people trust and want to share their personal stories with u. By being so connected to intention, u r more God-like, and who would u trust more than God to share ur secrets with?
7. Your presence inspires others to greatness. You become a source of inspiration to others.
8. Your presence align others with beauty. When u r connected, u see beauty everywhere and in everything because u r radiating the quality of beauty.
(Soul - I am seeing the beauty and aliveness in nature, even the grass. I am seeing me as a lovely person and for the first time I like my photo, I look so lovely)
9. Your presence instills health rather than sickness.
Your connection to ur Source keeps u focused on what u intend to manifest into ur life, with no energy given to what u don't want. This internal focus doesn't permit u to complain about what ails u or to think about disease, pain or etc.
Soul
My presence has this:
1. Your presence instills calmness
2. Your presence leaves others feel energised.
3. Ur presence allows others to feel better about themselves.
4. Ur presence allows others to trust in authentic personal connections.
I still don't have a couple.
The Power of Intention
In Power vs Force, Dr David Hawkins writes: "In this interconnected universe, every improvement we make in our private world improves the world at large for everyone.
Soul
Tot of me and Ma and S. I had the issue and can emphatise and share with them on how I eventually release it or rather it was released from me.
The Power of Intention
1. Divine energy - pure enlightenment
2. Transcendence, self realisation or God consciousness - saints
3. Pure joy - state of compassion; those who attain this level have more of a desire to use their consciousness for the benefit of life itself rather than for particular individual
4. Unconditional love, kindness, acceptance of everyone, beauty appreciation - 7 faces of intention
5. Anger, grief, fear, apathy, guilt, hatred, judgement and shame - low level energy
Soul
I am motivated to meditate and to write.
Father, S just told me her rship issue and I felt a chill go through me. The guy is evil. He should know better and yet he drag her in. And I think the real objective may not because of my friend but the company's money.
And I tot of Z. Thank God he is a diamond.
Jun 26 Eve
Father, this weekend I didn't do any writing. Today S invited me for a chat. We had a good one and I am glad our rship settle down.
Just like M has difficulty in releasing her professional rship, she too has difficulty in releasing her professional and personal rship.
I told her about my own issue. I am slowly but surely releasing Z. This two days, I pleasured myself as I know I can no longer wait for Z. He won't be coming back.
I am not sure but I hope me releasing Z gave them courage to do their own release. Seeing them with their attachment makes me more determined to stick on to mine.
The Power of Intention
When u feel connected and in harmony with intention, u sense a major difference in how other people react to u.
1. Your presence instills calmness (power of love and receptivity)
People feel more at peace, less threatened, and more at ease. It judges no one, it encourages others to be free to be themselves. People who feel empowered by ur presence become kindred spirits. That can only happen if they feel safe rather than attacked, secure rather than judged, calm rather than harassed.
Soul
Suddenly tot of telling Z. I cannot talk to u now. When I recovered, we can do post mortum so we can have at least an easy casual fship.
No lah. I cannot as it will just create hope. Let's not go there. Just leave.
Yea, need not talk to him. Just be a loving presence and he will know I am fine and have no negative feelings on him.
2. Your presence leaves others feel energised.
U don't have to say a word. U don't have to act in any prescribed fashion. Ur energy alone will make others feel as if they have mysteriously been empowered. They want to assist u in fulfilling ur dream. They be energised and volunteer to help u.
Soul
Yes. Now I just energised during sathsang. I also need not contact Z again. Just let my presence tells him I am fine and in time we can fully release each other.
3. Ur presence allows others to feel better about themselves. Ur compassionate energy has the noticeably pleasant impact of simply making others feel really good about themselves.
People will sense that u care about them, understand them and are interested in them as unique individuals.
4. Ur presence allows others to feel unified.
5. Ur presence instills a sense of purpose
Ur presence and behaviour from a space of love, acceptance, non-judgement and kindness becomes a catalyst for others feeling on purpose in their lives.
6. Ur presence allows others to trust in authentic personal connections.
U notice both and inclination and a willingness on the part of others to open up and confide in u. This is related to the quality of trust. In the atmosphere of higher energy, people trust and want to share their personal stories with u. By being so connected to intention, u r more God-like, and who would u trust more than God to share ur secrets with?
7. Your presence inspires others to greatness. You become a source of inspiration to others.
8. Your presence align others with beauty. When u r connected, u see beauty everywhere and in everything because u r radiating the quality of beauty.
(Soul - I am seeing the beauty and aliveness in nature, even the grass. I am seeing me as a lovely person and for the first time I like my photo, I look so lovely)
9. Your presence instills health rather than sickness.
Your connection to ur Source keeps u focused on what u intend to manifest into ur life, with no energy given to what u don't want. This internal focus doesn't permit u to complain about what ails u or to think about disease, pain or etc.
Soul
My presence has this:
1. Your presence instills calmness
2. Your presence leaves others feel energised.
3. Ur presence allows others to feel better about themselves.
4. Ur presence allows others to trust in authentic personal connections.
I still don't have a couple.
The Power of Intention
In Power vs Force, Dr David Hawkins writes: "In this interconnected universe, every improvement we make in our private world improves the world at large for everyone.
Soul
Tot of me and Ma and S. I had the issue and can emphatise and share with them on how I eventually release it or rather it was released from me.
The Power of Intention
1. Divine energy - pure enlightenment
2. Transcendence, self realisation or God consciousness - saints
3. Pure joy - state of compassion; those who attain this level have more of a desire to use their consciousness for the benefit of life itself rather than for particular individual
4. Unconditional love, kindness, acceptance of everyone, beauty appreciation - 7 faces of intention
5. Anger, grief, fear, apathy, guilt, hatred, judgement and shame - low level energy
Soul
I am motivated to meditate and to write.
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