Feb 19
Woke up 4.30 am but feeling tired and so slept back and woke up 5.15 am.
Did Bhoota Suddhi and sang guru pooja.
Did one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya Kriya followed by a short breathing session.
The last 2 days, somehow hand doesn't want to do mudra, just open palm.
Shakti was deep...and towards the end I was laughing bit and singing for quite a while.
Sat in arashidharna...so intense...especially didn't follow through with Shambavi to balance.
Now feeling bit edgy. Today is my Mars day. Eight of Clubs.
Feeling edgy cos no news on the Gudi and rather no news from Y.
I knew his time in Samyama is all on Hearts. And today saw his Ace of Hearts in Neptune...and mind immediately said thats not for me; he found another...
I also recalled he has Hearts in Uranus for both Ruling and Destiny.
Father, my Saturn in Jack of Hearts (Ten of Clubs) and Five of Spades (King of Hearts) is not my dad. Is more on him. I can feel the tension...
Just got myself into pedicure..need some loving attention..it will calm me down.
Just checked my today card.
Transformation - allow the pain to be just there.
Father, maybe just my mind playing tricks. Today just feel bit edgy. Let it be.
Once I said this, suddenly got msg from S on the purchase of Gudi.
So, just play it easy with my mind..Just remember when it is edgy..it is NOT ME.
Ambition to Vision by Sadhguru
U will know the joy of action only if u are blissful by ur own nature. If u are doing action to squeeze happiness out of life around u, then once in a way when there is a flash of success u are elated, but when it does not happen u will be miserable.
Soul
Was updating my blog and read this.
Suddenly tot this relates to relationship. When we give to receive, we feel elated when we received. But if we do not, then we feel bad.
But if we give without any plan to receive..cos we are already are joyful, then the other non-reciprocation does not matter nor affect our giving....
So..instead of controlling my giving..I should be managing and cultivating my inner joy.
Once I got my inner joy on full blast, no one's action will affect me anymore.
Self Mastery is not Self Control..
Self Mastery is not boundary...it is to be boundless within ourselves...
Ambition to Vision by Sadhguru
U have to insure ur joy first and then get into activity. Then it does not matter whether activity goes up and down, u will not go up and down.
Soul
Amen
Friday, February 28, 2014
All my personality breakthroughs in Isha
Feb 18 aft
Greed is God by Sadhguru
Only if something beyond the physical becomes a living reality, if u touch a dimension which is boundless within u, now suddenly everything becomes conscious. Now u drive ur desires whichever way u want. U can aim for the biggest things. Whether it happens or does not happen is not important because u are not seeking fulfilment; ur happiness does not depend on it. You are just playing a game. U play the game the way u find it exciting. If that is the case, there is no cost attached to it.
Right now ur very happiness depends on the outcome of this desire, so it becomes compulsive.
If ur peacefulness and joyfulness is assured within u, then whether it happens or not, this is the way you are. Then desire is no longer compulsive.
Soul
That's what I want. I want to manifest my husband and yet I am also not affected if it doesn't materialise.
Somehow recently there is an inner contentment even when I was rejected by Y.
True I did cry in the bathroom but it is not prolonged.
Greed is God
Let us say u identify yourself strongly as an Indian. Then somehow, because u believe you are an Indian, just the shape of the map breeds a huge amount of emotion. The mind always works around the identities that u fix for yourself and this does not end with the country. It comes with ur religion, language, race, gender, and a million other things. As u get more deeply identified, u keep drawing boundaries.
The moment u drew this boundaries, slowly you have become a long face. The joy disappeared. Nothing is going wrong. It is the identity which is creating such a restriction and suffocates a human being.
Soul
I used to believed I m gourmet food eater so I cannot drop meat; I cannot eat low quality food.
I used to say I can't wear traditional clothes, but I can now wear traditional indian clothes to social and even to office.
I used to say I am a good worker so I cannot not meet expectation.
I used to say I joined Isha for tools so I cannot do devotional method such as yantra or rituals.
I used to believe coffee comforts me.
I used to believe I can't climb mountain now I m going to Kailash.
My identity all broken up.
My weakness of Ace of Diamonds is also my strength. I am open and I don't set boundary. I don't allow beliefs to limit me.
Feb 18 eve
Feel bit off cos tonight encounter memory of two of my past Y and Z.
Less on Z and more on Y. With Z, I knew he was not the right one cos he is a family man whereas I m not.
Never mind. Just focus on Kailash. Tomorrow is medical check up.
Greed is God by Sadhguru
Only if something beyond the physical becomes a living reality, if u touch a dimension which is boundless within u, now suddenly everything becomes conscious. Now u drive ur desires whichever way u want. U can aim for the biggest things. Whether it happens or does not happen is not important because u are not seeking fulfilment; ur happiness does not depend on it. You are just playing a game. U play the game the way u find it exciting. If that is the case, there is no cost attached to it.
Right now ur very happiness depends on the outcome of this desire, so it becomes compulsive.
If ur peacefulness and joyfulness is assured within u, then whether it happens or not, this is the way you are. Then desire is no longer compulsive.
Soul
That's what I want. I want to manifest my husband and yet I am also not affected if it doesn't materialise.
Somehow recently there is an inner contentment even when I was rejected by Y.
True I did cry in the bathroom but it is not prolonged.
Greed is God
Let us say u identify yourself strongly as an Indian. Then somehow, because u believe you are an Indian, just the shape of the map breeds a huge amount of emotion. The mind always works around the identities that u fix for yourself and this does not end with the country. It comes with ur religion, language, race, gender, and a million other things. As u get more deeply identified, u keep drawing boundaries.
The moment u drew this boundaries, slowly you have become a long face. The joy disappeared. Nothing is going wrong. It is the identity which is creating such a restriction and suffocates a human being.
Soul
I used to believed I m gourmet food eater so I cannot drop meat; I cannot eat low quality food.
I used to say I can't wear traditional clothes, but I can now wear traditional indian clothes to social and even to office.
I used to say I am a good worker so I cannot not meet expectation.
I used to say I joined Isha for tools so I cannot do devotional method such as yantra or rituals.
I used to believe coffee comforts me.
I used to believe I can't climb mountain now I m going to Kailash.
My identity all broken up.
My weakness of Ace of Diamonds is also my strength. I am open and I don't set boundary. I don't allow beliefs to limit me.
Feb 18 eve
Feel bit off cos tonight encounter memory of two of my past Y and Z.
Less on Z and more on Y. With Z, I knew he was not the right one cos he is a family man whereas I m not.
Never mind. Just focus on Kailash. Tomorrow is medical check up.
Enjoying my sadhana
Feb 18
Woke up just upon alarm at 3.50 am.
Did Bhoota Suddhi and sang Guru pooja. Did one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya kriya. Went in deep and did a Shavasana to be in the energy. Then did my asanas, quite good. The sitting down posture has improved a lot. Breathing meditation was good, no mudra, time just flew.
Shakti was okay cos lost on tots on second and third cycle. But still went in deep. Towards the end, stillness.
Shambavi was good. Towards the end just sat in silence in arashidharna posture. So peaceful. Wish I could stay longer.
Suddenly tot of how to promote Isha hata yoga. It is a really good tool. Wish more people can have access to it.
Send out a few messages on IK. This time no longer worry about outcome. I call and it is to them to answer to Sadhguru.
Today my card.
My Daily Card
The Four of Hearts
The Four of Hearts is a sign of protection in love, marriage and family. It represents one's marriage and the foundation of love upon which a family and life can be built. The Four of Hearts is usually considered a good influence, especially for a happy family and social life. You may even turn down offers of love at those times when you are feeling so fulfilled in the areas of friendship and romance. If you are single, the Four of Hearts as the Result or Venus Card is a strong indicator of marriage.
The Four of Hearts can also speak about your home and family and things going on in these areas. It represents, at its most basic level, the foundation of love upon which all of our other relationships are built. It is the home of the heart.
Soul
Somehow now getting the Gudi, I feel at ease. Everytihng is in place. I don't have what I want yet but I have what I need.
Woke up just upon alarm at 3.50 am.
Did Bhoota Suddhi and sang Guru pooja. Did one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya kriya. Went in deep and did a Shavasana to be in the energy. Then did my asanas, quite good. The sitting down posture has improved a lot. Breathing meditation was good, no mudra, time just flew.
Shakti was okay cos lost on tots on second and third cycle. But still went in deep. Towards the end, stillness.
Shambavi was good. Towards the end just sat in silence in arashidharna posture. So peaceful. Wish I could stay longer.
Suddenly tot of how to promote Isha hata yoga. It is a really good tool. Wish more people can have access to it.
Send out a few messages on IK. This time no longer worry about outcome. I call and it is to them to answer to Sadhguru.
Today my card.
My Daily Card
The Four of Hearts
The Four of Hearts is a sign of protection in love, marriage and family. It represents one's marriage and the foundation of love upon which a family and life can be built. The Four of Hearts is usually considered a good influence, especially for a happy family and social life. You may even turn down offers of love at those times when you are feeling so fulfilled in the areas of friendship and romance. If you are single, the Four of Hearts as the Result or Venus Card is a strong indicator of marriage.
The Four of Hearts can also speak about your home and family and things going on in these areas. It represents, at its most basic level, the foundation of love upon which all of our other relationships are built. It is the home of the heart.
Soul
Somehow now getting the Gudi, I feel at ease. Everytihng is in place. I don't have what I want yet but I have what I need.
North Node in Taurus - to be authentic in their relationship
Feb 17 evening
North node in Taurus by Jan Spiller
The first step towards self acceptance is to acknowledge that there is a needy person inside and to take personal responsibility for filling those needs.
They cannot hope to experience truth and honesty in human relationships if they do not demonstrate this behaviour in their own lives. This includes no more "sins of omission" (for eg, letting what someone says pass by without acknowledging feelings of hurt, or pretending to be in a agreement.) They must start communicating their discomfort or hurt with what another has said or done. To discern and build healthy new patterns of behavior, they must release the old. Self-revelation will enable others to see who they really are, discern their need.
Soul
When I read this last year I couldn't relate totally but now I can.
This is the same as my insight being fearless in my expression results in integrity in my relationship. And I said that's the root of Seven of Diamonds - betrayal of my own truth, suppressing my needs and values.
North node in Taurus
To progress in this lifetime, they must bring into awareness and release subsconcious guilt and self defeating behaviours.
Part of their resistance to help stems from the fact they are accustomed to being the ones doing the helping. These folks are not used to accepting that others have power to recognise and help perfect what is valuable in them. They are also sensitive to criticism that they often interpret the input of others as invalidating their worth, rather than as encouraging their fuller self expression.
Allow others to empower them for a change.
Soul
When I read this last year I couldn't admit but now I can. I think Y's last message on me not to miss him is an encouragement that I m fine without him. Instead I took it as he doesn't want me to miss him. I took it as a snub. That's why I deleted his contact that time. Anyway I came to my senses a few days later. But now I can see.
Amen. Thanks to my dream of Self Mastery.
North node in Taurus by Jan Spiller
The first step towards self acceptance is to acknowledge that there is a needy person inside and to take personal responsibility for filling those needs.
They cannot hope to experience truth and honesty in human relationships if they do not demonstrate this behaviour in their own lives. This includes no more "sins of omission" (for eg, letting what someone says pass by without acknowledging feelings of hurt, or pretending to be in a agreement.) They must start communicating their discomfort or hurt with what another has said or done. To discern and build healthy new patterns of behavior, they must release the old. Self-revelation will enable others to see who they really are, discern their need.
Soul
When I read this last year I couldn't relate totally but now I can.
This is the same as my insight being fearless in my expression results in integrity in my relationship. And I said that's the root of Seven of Diamonds - betrayal of my own truth, suppressing my needs and values.
North node in Taurus
To progress in this lifetime, they must bring into awareness and release subsconcious guilt and self defeating behaviours.
Part of their resistance to help stems from the fact they are accustomed to being the ones doing the helping. These folks are not used to accepting that others have power to recognise and help perfect what is valuable in them. They are also sensitive to criticism that they often interpret the input of others as invalidating their worth, rather than as encouraging their fuller self expression.
Allow others to empower them for a change.
Soul
When I read this last year I couldn't admit but now I can. I think Y's last message on me not to miss him is an encouragement that I m fine without him. Instead I took it as he doesn't want me to miss him. I took it as a snub. That's why I deleted his contact that time. Anyway I came to my senses a few days later. But now I can see.
Amen. Thanks to my dream of Self Mastery.
Sadhguru - spirituality is when you experience life beyond the physical process
Feb 17
Slept around 11.30 pm yesterday. So feeling bit sleepy in morning practices. Finished by 6.52 am and took a quick snooze and wake up 7.04 am.
Did Bhoota Shuddi and sang guru pooja. Did 3 cycle of head movement and 3 cycles of Yoga Namaskar followed by 3 cycles of Surya kriya. Towards the end of Surya kriya I went into deep meditation. Perhaps good to follow the advice of doing Shambavi preparatory steps before Surya kriya.
Breathing was okay. Shakti was good. Shambavi not so good cos was feeling sleepy. Had some tots of Y. Miss him.
On the way to work, tot of Linga again. But still not sure how to fit her in. Be great if Y brings her back for me.
Greed is God by Sadhguru
Consciousness means that ur experience of life is not limited to the physicality. Spirituality is essentially to take your experience of life beyond the physical process.
By going to the temple, mosque, church or heaven, u do not become spiritual. U become spiritual only by turning inward, only by knowing the nature of who u are and tasting something beyond the physicality within urself. Once something beyond the physical has come into ur experience, setting boundaries is not possible. When u are in that level of consciousness, wherever u look, it all looks the same.
Everyone wants their life to be pleasant. When we say pleasant, pleasantness happens in five different ways. If ur body become pleasant, we call it pleasure.
If ur mind becomes pleasant, we call it peace; if it becomes very pleasant, we call it joy.
If ur emotion becomes pleasant we call it love; if it becomes very pleasant, we call it compassion.
If ur life energies become pleasant we call it bliss, and if they become very pleasant we call it ecstasy.
If ur surrounding becomes pleasant we call it success.
Slept around 11.30 pm yesterday. So feeling bit sleepy in morning practices. Finished by 6.52 am and took a quick snooze and wake up 7.04 am.
Did Bhoota Shuddi and sang guru pooja. Did 3 cycle of head movement and 3 cycles of Yoga Namaskar followed by 3 cycles of Surya kriya. Towards the end of Surya kriya I went into deep meditation. Perhaps good to follow the advice of doing Shambavi preparatory steps before Surya kriya.
Breathing was okay. Shakti was good. Shambavi not so good cos was feeling sleepy. Had some tots of Y. Miss him.
On the way to work, tot of Linga again. But still not sure how to fit her in. Be great if Y brings her back for me.
Greed is God by Sadhguru
Consciousness means that ur experience of life is not limited to the physicality. Spirituality is essentially to take your experience of life beyond the physical process.
By going to the temple, mosque, church or heaven, u do not become spiritual. U become spiritual only by turning inward, only by knowing the nature of who u are and tasting something beyond the physicality within urself. Once something beyond the physical has come into ur experience, setting boundaries is not possible. When u are in that level of consciousness, wherever u look, it all looks the same.
Everyone wants their life to be pleasant. When we say pleasant, pleasantness happens in five different ways. If ur body become pleasant, we call it pleasure.
If ur mind becomes pleasant, we call it peace; if it becomes very pleasant, we call it joy.
If ur emotion becomes pleasant we call it love; if it becomes very pleasant, we call it compassion.
If ur life energies become pleasant we call it bliss, and if they become very pleasant we call it ecstasy.
If ur surrounding becomes pleasant we call it success.
Still missing Y
Feb 16 eve
This morning I climb some stair case in the park. Good workout. Will continue.
When I got back I did my physical release with Y in my tots. When I reached my peak, I cried. This is the second time it happens. I cried because I truly want him.
Later I remember my path of Seven of Hearts. Just got to go with the flow. My Soul choose this path for a reason and I just have to walked it. At least I just see my Soul as very courageous to undertake this path; I no longer sees it as suffering instead I see it as strength.
Suddenly thinking of Linga Bhairavi gudi again. This year I need all the help to manifest what I want especially my husband.
Today I shared with M I still want my partner. I am not doing anything but I m praying for him to be manifested. I know he will come. M asked wouldn't I got pass it. I said that's what I want. That's my path. And I believe I just need to focus on what I truly values and my husband will show up. I know now he has to be mentally and spiritually compatible with me.
Maybe need Linga's help. Guide me.
Just did my silence with shrine. So lovely. Suddenly a tot came, gudi to put beside my water pot at my bedside. My current shrine set up need not change.
This morning I climb some stair case in the park. Good workout. Will continue.
When I got back I did my physical release with Y in my tots. When I reached my peak, I cried. This is the second time it happens. I cried because I truly want him.
Later I remember my path of Seven of Hearts. Just got to go with the flow. My Soul choose this path for a reason and I just have to walked it. At least I just see my Soul as very courageous to undertake this path; I no longer sees it as suffering instead I see it as strength.
Suddenly thinking of Linga Bhairavi gudi again. This year I need all the help to manifest what I want especially my husband.
Today I shared with M I still want my partner. I am not doing anything but I m praying for him to be manifested. I know he will come. M asked wouldn't I got pass it. I said that's what I want. That's my path. And I believe I just need to focus on what I truly values and my husband will show up. I know now he has to be mentally and spiritually compatible with me.
Maybe need Linga's help. Guide me.
Just did my silence with shrine. So lovely. Suddenly a tot came, gudi to put beside my water pot at my bedside. My current shrine set up need not change.
Alchemy of Ecstasy by Sadhguru
Feb 15 aft
Mmm, after my declaration to M that I was judging her but suppressed it, she no longer affects me. Now her Facebook post just flew past.
Alchemy of escstasy DVD by Sadhguru
If you knew how to handle ur mind, u won't want to give up on it.
This mind becomes a problem because of so many silly assumptions we made on life.
What u called as death and life is not separate thing. If u keep on thinking u don't want to die; u may not die but u can't live.
For the ignorance death comes. For the aware, death is. Death is life.
If one become aware of this, life will be in its most intense form. Moments of danger is where life and death together at the same time. If u can only be aware at the same time, u become enlightened.
If u experience union with vishuti, u be stupidly devotional. They don't stand against reason. They experience more pleasantness than others. They move their life to a different kind of arithmetic, there is no plus or minus; just one, always one. Tremendous sense of power.
If union in level of atna, absolute awareness and knowing. Suddenly intellectual type looks stupid in front of him.
If u find union with asaha, u will find urself ecstatic.
In ur awareness if life and death is the same, then u have set the right fundamental. If u don't want to die, then its a wrong foundation, a mistake. And with wrong foundation, the more u build, the more mistake will happen. That's why so much is being said about renunciation. Because u got the wrong foundation and they want to stop u from building to much. The more u build, the further u go away from the truth.
North node in Taurus
In past lives, they become dependent on soul mate relationship to provide the nurturing to feel renewed and satisfied. In this lifetime, whenever they depend on others to fill these needs, they feel let down. It's set up this way because their lesson is to become independent in meeting their own needs.
Their lesson in this lifetime is to focus less on bonding and more on building their values - then they attract the right mate.
In past lives, these folks are used to giving everything and having the other person reciprocate. But in this incarnation, much to their surprise, it's not in their charts for others to take care of them in the same co-dependent way. This is the universe way of helping them break abusive co- dependency and learn to be more self-contained.
Soul
No wonder. Truly Seven of Hearts. Truly many break ups. All here to make me realise I must and can only take care of myself on my own.
North node in Taurus
Deep in their hearts, more than anything in the world, they want a soul mate - that special person to travel through life in a state of mutual vulnerability, commitment and empowerment. They long for the comfort of consistent, dependable companionship.
To have this dream of loyal companionship come true, they need to first experience being complete within themselves.
When they no longer need a person to make them feel whole, only then will they attract the right life partner.
As they work to experience their own wholeness and direction and become a powerful river in thirst own right, they can then merge another powerful river that is going in the same direction, together they can flow to the sea.
Mmm, after my declaration to M that I was judging her but suppressed it, she no longer affects me. Now her Facebook post just flew past.
Alchemy of escstasy DVD by Sadhguru
If you knew how to handle ur mind, u won't want to give up on it.
This mind becomes a problem because of so many silly assumptions we made on life.
What u called as death and life is not separate thing. If u keep on thinking u don't want to die; u may not die but u can't live.
For the ignorance death comes. For the aware, death is. Death is life.
If one become aware of this, life will be in its most intense form. Moments of danger is where life and death together at the same time. If u can only be aware at the same time, u become enlightened.
If u experience union with vishuti, u be stupidly devotional. They don't stand against reason. They experience more pleasantness than others. They move their life to a different kind of arithmetic, there is no plus or minus; just one, always one. Tremendous sense of power.
If union in level of atna, absolute awareness and knowing. Suddenly intellectual type looks stupid in front of him.
If u find union with asaha, u will find urself ecstatic.
In ur awareness if life and death is the same, then u have set the right fundamental. If u don't want to die, then its a wrong foundation, a mistake. And with wrong foundation, the more u build, the more mistake will happen. That's why so much is being said about renunciation. Because u got the wrong foundation and they want to stop u from building to much. The more u build, the further u go away from the truth.
North node in Taurus
In past lives, they become dependent on soul mate relationship to provide the nurturing to feel renewed and satisfied. In this lifetime, whenever they depend on others to fill these needs, they feel let down. It's set up this way because their lesson is to become independent in meeting their own needs.
Their lesson in this lifetime is to focus less on bonding and more on building their values - then they attract the right mate.
In past lives, these folks are used to giving everything and having the other person reciprocate. But in this incarnation, much to their surprise, it's not in their charts for others to take care of them in the same co-dependent way. This is the universe way of helping them break abusive co- dependency and learn to be more self-contained.
Soul
No wonder. Truly Seven of Hearts. Truly many break ups. All here to make me realise I must and can only take care of myself on my own.
North node in Taurus
Deep in their hearts, more than anything in the world, they want a soul mate - that special person to travel through life in a state of mutual vulnerability, commitment and empowerment. They long for the comfort of consistent, dependable companionship.
To have this dream of loyal companionship come true, they need to first experience being complete within themselves.
When they no longer need a person to make them feel whole, only then will they attract the right life partner.
As they work to experience their own wholeness and direction and become a powerful river in thirst own right, they can then merge another powerful river that is going in the same direction, together they can flow to the sea.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Relentless Forgiveness leads to more possibility
Feb 15
Woke up 7 am to do my practices. Finished about 9.20 am. Have to put alarm now at 6.45 am for Bhoota Shuddi and yoga Namaskar.
Shakti was good and I sang at the end. Shambavi good too. Just lost in mindless zone.
After nearly two months, I finally swim again. Effortless swim. Laughing loads and singing too. Truly miss my time with water pool.
Liora
When nothing is sure, everything is possible.
It is a relentless forgiveness that allows us to return here again and again. Past the tears, and the leaving and the broken space. Back into the hope of more, the possibility of again.
We are made for this, for the sweet vulnerability of now, for the outreach of past fear and into unknown. For the extension and unwrapping.
We are an ancient sort of resilient. Made for the rose colored glasses and honeyed lips and finding home in another. Made for the filing and for the rising. Made for the holy wonder of beginning again.
We are here to love. To speak our mother tongues to lovers who may stay and may go. To learn the body rhythm of forever and of just for now we are here to open to the bliss, and the risk and the possibility inherent in every new beginning.
Soul
When I read this. I feel hopeful. I have a few disappointment and betrayal but I m still hopeful. That's my Seven of Hearts but its over now. I now slowly but surely learning to have faith.
Liora
We are here to love, and love hard, every chance that we get.
Love lifts us, giddy and hopeful, to the wildest heights. Sometimes we free fall into a gentle landing. Sometimes we get unceremoniously dumped from 30,000 feet.
Sometimes love just gets up and leaves, and we are obliterated in its wake.
Instead of happily ever after, our sunset ride is followed by a massive love hangover.
And so we grow wary. Lose faith. Stop trusting. We embrace our cynicism, build walls around our fragile hearts and wail ‘I’ll-be-alone-forever-and-nobody-in-the-whole-wide-world-will-ever-see-me-want-me-love-me-ever.’
And at our most bruised and tattered, these boundaries are protective and wise and true.
And the truth is that we don’t need to trust in love. Or in forever. Or even ourselves or our partners or the universe.
We just need to trust our hearts. Our wise and foolish, brave and battered hearts. Idealistic and cynical, cracked and patched and still—in spite of it all—stubbornly pumping love through our electric souls.
Our hearts lead us into love. They lead us out. And then—crazy and hopeful and free—they knock down walls and move mountains to try again.
Our desire for love is a desire to be seen. To be known. To be witnessed as our truest, most naked selves. And not to be loved because of or in spite of or only if. But just to be loved. To be able to say ‘take it or leave it’ and to have our lovers say, “Yes. We’ll take it.” All of it. Gladly and willingly and eagerly.
Show yourself and you will be safe. Worshiped for the divine being you’ve always been. And you will be loved. And loved and loved and loved. Today and tomorrow and always. Forever.
Soul
Yes, back to my Self. Just loving myself. Be loving and joyful on my own. My partner will come.
Woke up 7 am to do my practices. Finished about 9.20 am. Have to put alarm now at 6.45 am for Bhoota Shuddi and yoga Namaskar.
Shakti was good and I sang at the end. Shambavi good too. Just lost in mindless zone.
After nearly two months, I finally swim again. Effortless swim. Laughing loads and singing too. Truly miss my time with water pool.
Liora
When nothing is sure, everything is possible.
It is a relentless forgiveness that allows us to return here again and again. Past the tears, and the leaving and the broken space. Back into the hope of more, the possibility of again.
We are made for this, for the sweet vulnerability of now, for the outreach of past fear and into unknown. For the extension and unwrapping.
We are an ancient sort of resilient. Made for the rose colored glasses and honeyed lips and finding home in another. Made for the filing and for the rising. Made for the holy wonder of beginning again.
We are here to love. To speak our mother tongues to lovers who may stay and may go. To learn the body rhythm of forever and of just for now we are here to open to the bliss, and the risk and the possibility inherent in every new beginning.
Soul
When I read this. I feel hopeful. I have a few disappointment and betrayal but I m still hopeful. That's my Seven of Hearts but its over now. I now slowly but surely learning to have faith.
Liora
We are here to love, and love hard, every chance that we get.
Love lifts us, giddy and hopeful, to the wildest heights. Sometimes we free fall into a gentle landing. Sometimes we get unceremoniously dumped from 30,000 feet.
Sometimes love just gets up and leaves, and we are obliterated in its wake.
Instead of happily ever after, our sunset ride is followed by a massive love hangover.
And so we grow wary. Lose faith. Stop trusting. We embrace our cynicism, build walls around our fragile hearts and wail ‘I’ll-be-alone-forever-and-nobody-in-the-whole-wide-world-will-ever-see-me-want-me-love-me-ever.’
And at our most bruised and tattered, these boundaries are protective and wise and true.
And the truth is that we don’t need to trust in love. Or in forever. Or even ourselves or our partners or the universe.
We just need to trust our hearts. Our wise and foolish, brave and battered hearts. Idealistic and cynical, cracked and patched and still—in spite of it all—stubbornly pumping love through our electric souls.
Our hearts lead us into love. They lead us out. And then—crazy and hopeful and free—they knock down walls and move mountains to try again.
Our desire for love is a desire to be seen. To be known. To be witnessed as our truest, most naked selves. And not to be loved because of or in spite of or only if. But just to be loved. To be able to say ‘take it or leave it’ and to have our lovers say, “Yes. We’ll take it.” All of it. Gladly and willingly and eagerly.
Show yourself and you will be safe. Worshiped for the divine being you’ve always been. And you will be loved. And loved and loved and loved. Today and tomorrow and always. Forever.
Soul
Yes, back to my Self. Just loving myself. Be loving and joyful on my own. My partner will come.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Still missing Y
Feb 14
Today woke up at 7 am. Did Bhoota Shuddi and sang Guru Pooja followed by one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya Kriya and asanas. The asanas were good. Can now easily rest my head on my two knees. On the single leg, I just rest my hands on the floor, no longer need to hold my feet.
Shakti was good and I was singing at the end. Shambavi was great despite an abridged version.
I am truly thankful for the tools. And to have my shrine at home makes all the difference.
Feb 14 eve
Just now I did my physical release with Y in my tots. It was great and towards the end I cried instead of laugh. I miss him and I truly want him.
Later did my Shoonya and such feeling of ease and contentment.
Now after dinner with friends. Feeling tired.
Got this from facebook
I am deeply involved, engaged and have love affairs with millions of people. I don’t know whether they reciprocate or not. I don’t know whether they like me or not, but I have a fabulous love affair with just about everyone that I see and cannot see, because for me, love is not about them. Love is about how I am within myself.
Today woke up at 7 am. Did Bhoota Shuddi and sang Guru Pooja followed by one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya Kriya and asanas. The asanas were good. Can now easily rest my head on my two knees. On the single leg, I just rest my hands on the floor, no longer need to hold my feet.
Shakti was good and I was singing at the end. Shambavi was great despite an abridged version.
I am truly thankful for the tools. And to have my shrine at home makes all the difference.
Feb 14 eve
Just now I did my physical release with Y in my tots. It was great and towards the end I cried instead of laugh. I miss him and I truly want him.
Later did my Shoonya and such feeling of ease and contentment.
Now after dinner with friends. Feeling tired.
Got this from facebook
I am deeply involved, engaged and have love affairs with millions of people. I don’t know whether they reciprocate or not. I don’t know whether they like me or not, but I have a fabulous love affair with just about everyone that I see and cannot see, because for me, love is not about them. Love is about how I am within myself.
North node in Taurus - latent anger due to suppression of their own needs
Feb 13 eve
Now reading Cosmic Love and Astrology for Soul. Reading our connection doesn't give me much hope on us. I just ignored it and said I don't know.
Now after the second romantic feelings, can now read astrology for soul from another perspective.
Astrology for Soul by Jan Spiller
North node in Taurus
They need to be aware of its seeking self worth through others, which can lead them into the trap of unending search for soul mate. In truth, they can only achieve a sense of completeness within themselves - it will never comes as the by product of a relationship, even with a soul mate.
Soul
After the rejection from Y, I know I m fine. Just as I no longer need validation from career, slowly but surely I too no longer need validation from romantic relationship.
Astrology for soul
They want a synergistic relationship that is mutually empowering and completely dependable. To successfully establish such relationship, they must be discriminating and find someone with similar energy and values. The shared goals must be innately valuable to each of them as individuals.
Soul
Yes. That's why I now know mental and spiritual compatibility is a must. The physical is no longer the criteria.
I have attracted Y into my life. We are mentally and spiritually compatible. So the next one will not only be mentally and spiritually compatible but also wants a synergistic and mutually empowering relationship with me.
Astrology for Soul
North node in Taurus
In this incarnation, therefore, when they merge too closely or quickly with another person, they experience betrayal as a warning that they should keep their own boundaries, values and spiritual ethics.
Soul
My life time challenge was Seven of Hearts.
Astrology for the Soul
They can experience real extremes in life ranging from period of sitting in boardroom in corporations, to being on a strict spiritual path.
Soul
So true.
Astrology for soul
North node in Taurus
Because they have extinguished their own value system, they came into this lifetime with no sense of self- worth apart from the feedback of others. This makes them incredibly vulnerable to adopting values of those around them.
Soul
Ruling card Ace of Diamonds.
Astrology for Soul
In this lifetime, they are learning to build a sense of self esteem directly, by living according to their own value system. They need to empower others only when it is what they want to do, it fits with their own values and they have no expectation of getting anything in return.
Soul
Queen of Diamonds in Destiny.
Taurus North node
These folks carry a lot of anger. However if they take a deeper look, they will see their anger is really based on fear; fear of not being respected, not being liked, not being treated as a human being. So when they feel angry, they can ask themselves; "What am I afraid of?"
When they stop looking to others to provide their own sense of self worth and start looking inside themselves, suddenly their anger becomes productive energy.
Soul
When I read this previously didn't know it was me. Now that I know my latent anger is due to suppressed frustration. I now learning to voice it out instead of feeling frustrated and resentful.
Astrology for Soul
These folks are learning to express what they need and to avoid thinking about other's need first.
They may think they fully understand another's motivations and take actions or respond to the person on that basis, only to find that their appraisal was incorrect.
It work best when they avoid tuning in to the desires and opinions of others and instead focus on their own needs: "This is what I need.... These are my reasons.
Now reading Cosmic Love and Astrology for Soul. Reading our connection doesn't give me much hope on us. I just ignored it and said I don't know.
Now after the second romantic feelings, can now read astrology for soul from another perspective.
Astrology for Soul by Jan Spiller
North node in Taurus
They need to be aware of its seeking self worth through others, which can lead them into the trap of unending search for soul mate. In truth, they can only achieve a sense of completeness within themselves - it will never comes as the by product of a relationship, even with a soul mate.
Soul
After the rejection from Y, I know I m fine. Just as I no longer need validation from career, slowly but surely I too no longer need validation from romantic relationship.
Astrology for soul
They want a synergistic relationship that is mutually empowering and completely dependable. To successfully establish such relationship, they must be discriminating and find someone with similar energy and values. The shared goals must be innately valuable to each of them as individuals.
Soul
Yes. That's why I now know mental and spiritual compatibility is a must. The physical is no longer the criteria.
I have attracted Y into my life. We are mentally and spiritually compatible. So the next one will not only be mentally and spiritually compatible but also wants a synergistic and mutually empowering relationship with me.
Astrology for Soul
North node in Taurus
In this incarnation, therefore, when they merge too closely or quickly with another person, they experience betrayal as a warning that they should keep their own boundaries, values and spiritual ethics.
Soul
My life time challenge was Seven of Hearts.
Astrology for the Soul
They can experience real extremes in life ranging from period of sitting in boardroom in corporations, to being on a strict spiritual path.
Soul
So true.
Astrology for soul
North node in Taurus
Because they have extinguished their own value system, they came into this lifetime with no sense of self- worth apart from the feedback of others. This makes them incredibly vulnerable to adopting values of those around them.
Soul
Ruling card Ace of Diamonds.
Astrology for Soul
In this lifetime, they are learning to build a sense of self esteem directly, by living according to their own value system. They need to empower others only when it is what they want to do, it fits with their own values and they have no expectation of getting anything in return.
Soul
Queen of Diamonds in Destiny.
Taurus North node
These folks carry a lot of anger. However if they take a deeper look, they will see their anger is really based on fear; fear of not being respected, not being liked, not being treated as a human being. So when they feel angry, they can ask themselves; "What am I afraid of?"
When they stop looking to others to provide their own sense of self worth and start looking inside themselves, suddenly their anger becomes productive energy.
Soul
When I read this previously didn't know it was me. Now that I know my latent anger is due to suppressed frustration. I now learning to voice it out instead of feeling frustrated and resentful.
Astrology for Soul
These folks are learning to express what they need and to avoid thinking about other's need first.
They may think they fully understand another's motivations and take actions or respond to the person on that basis, only to find that their appraisal was incorrect.
It work best when they avoid tuning in to the desires and opinions of others and instead focus on their own needs: "This is what I need.... These are my reasons.
Recovering from Y
Feb 13
Woke up 3.50 am. Did Bhoota and sang Guru pooja. Bit sleepy today. Did 3 cycles of Yoga Namaskar and 3 cycles of Surya Kriya. Can slot in some Upa yoga.
Shakti was good. In the end mind was singing quietly. Shambavi was good. Towards the end contented silence.
But unfortunately I had a short session cos I tot it was bit late since nephew is up. So I had to force myself to end the session 10 minutes earlier.
This week card
1. Issue
Lovers
When we mature we begin to experience the love that exists beyond sexuality and honours the unique individuality of the other. We begin to understand that our partner often functions as a mirror, reflecting unseen aspects of our deeper self and supporting us to become whole. This love is based on freedom, not expectation or need. Its wings takes us higher and higher towards the universal love that experiences all as one.
Soul
Well did have some tots of Y. Miss him a bit but I m fine. Also yesterday read article that love is within and not outside. So I m loving without a partner too. But I want one. That's my dream too. This week I am beginning to believe that it is possible for me to have the husband I want. I want someone with profile of Y. Key is mentally and spiritually compatible. Emotionally and physical can be cultivated. Without the mental, it's not easy to have mutual respect. Without the spiritual, we can't grow together.
Alas finally getting clear on what I want in my partner
Woke up 3.50 am. Did Bhoota and sang Guru pooja. Bit sleepy today. Did 3 cycles of Yoga Namaskar and 3 cycles of Surya Kriya. Can slot in some Upa yoga.
Shakti was good. In the end mind was singing quietly. Shambavi was good. Towards the end contented silence.
But unfortunately I had a short session cos I tot it was bit late since nephew is up. So I had to force myself to end the session 10 minutes earlier.
This week card
1. Issue
Lovers
When we mature we begin to experience the love that exists beyond sexuality and honours the unique individuality of the other. We begin to understand that our partner often functions as a mirror, reflecting unseen aspects of our deeper self and supporting us to become whole. This love is based on freedom, not expectation or need. Its wings takes us higher and higher towards the universal love that experiences all as one.
Soul
Well did have some tots of Y. Miss him a bit but I m fine. Also yesterday read article that love is within and not outside. So I m loving without a partner too. But I want one. That's my dream too. This week I am beginning to believe that it is possible for me to have the husband I want. I want someone with profile of Y. Key is mentally and spiritually compatible. Emotionally and physical can be cultivated. Without the mental, it's not easy to have mutual respect. Without the spiritual, we can't grow together.
Alas finally getting clear on what I want in my partner
Source of love is within us
Feb 12 eve
Got this from facebook
http://spiritualityhealth.com/blog/eve-hogan/simple-practice-feel-more-love-your-life#sthash.j0CWvqkA.dpuf
We tend to want to blame others for the lack of love in our lives, but the kicker is that someone could love you with all of his or her heart and you might still not feel loved. Or someone could not even know you exist and you could feel full of love for them. The source of your love is not outside of you: This is true for both the love you give and the love you receive. Love exists within you, totally independently of the object of your love (or the absence of someone to share that love with). Love has little to do with the proximity or even the existence of the other person. When you love someone and they die, the love remains. Even when we break up with someone, love does not go away either.
We just block the flow of love. The love is inside of you. Love is who you are on a soul level. Love is your natural state.
Here’s an exercise to help you remove those blocks. Start by aiming to experience the feeling of love, regardless of a partner. To do this, make a “love list:” a list of everything you love, such as memories, people, tastes, colors, movies, books, and (importantly) aspects of yourself. One way of approaching the list is to think of the things in life that help you to feel the love that is already within you. Once your list is finished, read back through it, and pause at each item to hold the vision of that thing in your mind’s eye. For instance, maybe you put “sunsets” on your list. Sit quietly, picture a memorable sunset in your mind’s eye, and see if you can feel the love inside you. Continue to do this exercise with each item on your list. Consciously let your love grow, and begin to recognize what it feels like to love.
Then, when you are in a relationship, enjoy the power and beauty of two people feeling the love within at the same time and sharing it with each other—rather than getting it from each other. It is, indeed, a beautiful thing. -
Soul
When I close my eyes and sat in front of my shrine..i feel love arise in me.
Got this from facebook
http://spiritualityhealth.com/blog/eve-hogan/simple-practice-feel-more-love-your-life#sthash.j0CWvqkA.dpuf
We tend to want to blame others for the lack of love in our lives, but the kicker is that someone could love you with all of his or her heart and you might still not feel loved. Or someone could not even know you exist and you could feel full of love for them. The source of your love is not outside of you: This is true for both the love you give and the love you receive. Love exists within you, totally independently of the object of your love (or the absence of someone to share that love with). Love has little to do with the proximity or even the existence of the other person. When you love someone and they die, the love remains. Even when we break up with someone, love does not go away either.
We just block the flow of love. The love is inside of you. Love is who you are on a soul level. Love is your natural state.
Here’s an exercise to help you remove those blocks. Start by aiming to experience the feeling of love, regardless of a partner. To do this, make a “love list:” a list of everything you love, such as memories, people, tastes, colors, movies, books, and (importantly) aspects of yourself. One way of approaching the list is to think of the things in life that help you to feel the love that is already within you. Once your list is finished, read back through it, and pause at each item to hold the vision of that thing in your mind’s eye. For instance, maybe you put “sunsets” on your list. Sit quietly, picture a memorable sunset in your mind’s eye, and see if you can feel the love inside you. Continue to do this exercise with each item on your list. Consciously let your love grow, and begin to recognize what it feels like to love.
Then, when you are in a relationship, enjoy the power and beauty of two people feeling the love within at the same time and sharing it with each other—rather than getting it from each other. It is, indeed, a beautiful thing. -
Soul
When I close my eyes and sat in front of my shrine..i feel love arise in me.
Singing in Shakti Chalana Kriya
Feb 12
Another higher level breakthrough in Shakti
Slept around 12.30 am yesterday. Then was waken up by a call from the hospital at 4.30 am. Can only sleep back after 20 minutes or so. Woke up at 6 am to do my practices.
I was feeling hopeful that my dream of having my husband will materialise. No more doubting myself.
Did Bhoota Shuddhi and sang guru pooja. Did one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya kriya. Yoga Namaskar is for keeps.
Shakti was great, in full focus. Towards the end I can already hear singing in my mind. After Shakti I laughed for a short while and start to sing out loud. This is the first time I fly so high in Shakti.
I had to do a quick Shambavi as I need to go to hospital to see dad. Shambavi was great too. Towards the end, gush of air came out from guts and close mouth sucking and hissing breath. Then stillness in arashidharna posture.
I m so blessed to have this mindless experience.
I said my thanks to Sadhguru for the tools, to Dhynalinga for the space and to Linga for my husband. I reiterate that I will marry in Linga temple and my husband and I will go to Kailash. No more confusion on what I want.
Ambition to Vision
When u just do what is needed, u become more life - less emotion, less tot, just life. As u become more life, u are more in contact with creation. The more u become creation, the closer u have become to the Creator.
Rural Rejunevation
This is being done as a tool for people to find expression. Most people can be only in their doing. If they do not do, they do not know how to be. So we are providing them an opportunity to act. This is called karma yoga.
Activity is being used as a tool. If I say this you will misunderstand, but I want to tell u, these projects are not an outpouring of my love. My love can find expression without action in a beautiful way. If I just close my eyes and sit, I can become more loving than when I do things. This is just being done as a tool to enhance people's quality of life, to make them break through the limitations of those limited selves.
Another higher level breakthrough in Shakti
Slept around 12.30 am yesterday. Then was waken up by a call from the hospital at 4.30 am. Can only sleep back after 20 minutes or so. Woke up at 6 am to do my practices.
I was feeling hopeful that my dream of having my husband will materialise. No more doubting myself.
Did Bhoota Shuddhi and sang guru pooja. Did one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya kriya. Yoga Namaskar is for keeps.
Shakti was great, in full focus. Towards the end I can already hear singing in my mind. After Shakti I laughed for a short while and start to sing out loud. This is the first time I fly so high in Shakti.
I had to do a quick Shambavi as I need to go to hospital to see dad. Shambavi was great too. Towards the end, gush of air came out from guts and close mouth sucking and hissing breath. Then stillness in arashidharna posture.
I m so blessed to have this mindless experience.
I said my thanks to Sadhguru for the tools, to Dhynalinga for the space and to Linga for my husband. I reiterate that I will marry in Linga temple and my husband and I will go to Kailash. No more confusion on what I want.
Ambition to Vision
When u just do what is needed, u become more life - less emotion, less tot, just life. As u become more life, u are more in contact with creation. The more u become creation, the closer u have become to the Creator.
Rural Rejunevation
This is being done as a tool for people to find expression. Most people can be only in their doing. If they do not do, they do not know how to be. So we are providing them an opportunity to act. This is called karma yoga.
Activity is being used as a tool. If I say this you will misunderstand, but I want to tell u, these projects are not an outpouring of my love. My love can find expression without action in a beautiful way. If I just close my eyes and sit, I can become more loving than when I do things. This is just being done as a tool to enhance people's quality of life, to make them break through the limitations of those limited selves.
Sadhguru - you need a stable foundation of energy, emotion, body and mind to seek unfamiliar terrain
Feb 11 eve 2
Sadhguru
A Stable Foundation
To consciously seek and tread unfamiliar terrain, you have to strengthen the energy structure, and you have to stabilize the body and the emotions. You need a mind that is capable of handling a variety of emotions. Your emotions need to be such that they can flow at will and become stable at will. “Stable emotions” does not mean staid or dead. It does not mean there is no love or compassion in you. Stability does not mean absence or dryness. If stability is not there, the mind will naturally look for the familiar, and if you step into the unfamiliar, your emotions will spill over.
You can hold a lot of juice only if you are stable. If you are unstable, you will not dare to carry a lot of juice in you. Just because someone has nasty emotions does not mean emotions per se are a bad thing. Emotions are the sweetest thing in human life – they can make your life most beautiful.
Without this stability, no one will ever dare to explore the unfamiliar terrain of life. If you do not seek the unfamiliar, there will be safety, but you will remain on the surface. The familiar is comfortable, but you will die of boredom. If you die of excitement, it’s all right. Such a magnificent creation and you die of boredom – that’s the worst crime.
Soul
Now learning to express my emotions. Sadness I was okay since I entered Isha and now anger.
Today Pe said she attract those angry people cos I got latent anger. I told her I know now and hence learning to express my anger.
Just as I found out sadness doesn't kill me; the same anger won't kill me either
Sadhguru
A Stable Foundation
To consciously seek and tread unfamiliar terrain, you have to strengthen the energy structure, and you have to stabilize the body and the emotions. You need a mind that is capable of handling a variety of emotions. Your emotions need to be such that they can flow at will and become stable at will. “Stable emotions” does not mean staid or dead. It does not mean there is no love or compassion in you. Stability does not mean absence or dryness. If stability is not there, the mind will naturally look for the familiar, and if you step into the unfamiliar, your emotions will spill over.
You can hold a lot of juice only if you are stable. If you are unstable, you will not dare to carry a lot of juice in you. Just because someone has nasty emotions does not mean emotions per se are a bad thing. Emotions are the sweetest thing in human life – they can make your life most beautiful.
Without this stability, no one will ever dare to explore the unfamiliar terrain of life. If you do not seek the unfamiliar, there will be safety, but you will remain on the surface. The familiar is comfortable, but you will die of boredom. If you die of excitement, it’s all right. Such a magnificent creation and you die of boredom – that’s the worst crime.
Soul
Now learning to express my emotions. Sadness I was okay since I entered Isha and now anger.
Today Pe said she attract those angry people cos I got latent anger. I told her I know now and hence learning to express my anger.
Just as I found out sadness doesn't kill me; the same anger won't kill me either
Slowly but surely gathering faith over what I want
Feb 11 eve
Today found out that the 'funny' person who replied thank you to all in email loop was Z's wife. No wonder she replied thank you to the Isha mail as she was besotted with N.
She replying was weird by itself as it totally go against email protocol especially coming from a lawyer.
I burst out laughing; Z got a strange woman for his wife. His wife does have issue. Serves him right, his karma. He tot he got a good bargain but on the contrary.
Mind reacted but I told the mind that I no longer want Z. Infact among Y, Pa and Z; Y comes first, Z comes last.
Ambition to vision
There are many stories in India culture where, once certain men who were sages and saints willed, even gods had to come down and do things for them. Shiva cannot help it if a man sits with complete will and vision that he wants Shiva to come down. Shiva has to come down; he has no choice about it.
These things demonstrate to you that if what u want is very clear to u, and if u are set on it, what seems to be impossible today becomes a normal part of ur life tomorrow Without any fuss, it falls at ur feet. But at every moment, if u logically question this and think in terms of "Is it attainable or not attainable," the confusion that u create in ur mind makes the world itself into a big confusion.
Soul
I got married in front of Linga Bhairavi.
My husband and I go to Kailash together this year. No more doubts. No more confusion
Ambition to Vision
The whole Gita is just about this - simply give urself to what u want with undivided attention, not caring whether it is easy or difficult, or whether it is going to happen or not going to happen.
It is a spiritual process by itself. It is a way of transcending limitations within and outside ourselves and of knowing life here bad beyond.
Soul
I may have failed before. But I now want it to happen.
Today found out that the 'funny' person who replied thank you to all in email loop was Z's wife. No wonder she replied thank you to the Isha mail as she was besotted with N.
She replying was weird by itself as it totally go against email protocol especially coming from a lawyer.
I burst out laughing; Z got a strange woman for his wife. His wife does have issue. Serves him right, his karma. He tot he got a good bargain but on the contrary.
Mind reacted but I told the mind that I no longer want Z. Infact among Y, Pa and Z; Y comes first, Z comes last.
Ambition to vision
There are many stories in India culture where, once certain men who were sages and saints willed, even gods had to come down and do things for them. Shiva cannot help it if a man sits with complete will and vision that he wants Shiva to come down. Shiva has to come down; he has no choice about it.
These things demonstrate to you that if what u want is very clear to u, and if u are set on it, what seems to be impossible today becomes a normal part of ur life tomorrow Without any fuss, it falls at ur feet. But at every moment, if u logically question this and think in terms of "Is it attainable or not attainable," the confusion that u create in ur mind makes the world itself into a big confusion.
Soul
I got married in front of Linga Bhairavi.
My husband and I go to Kailash together this year. No more doubts. No more confusion
Ambition to Vision
The whole Gita is just about this - simply give urself to what u want with undivided attention, not caring whether it is easy or difficult, or whether it is going to happen or not going to happen.
It is a spiritual process by itself. It is a way of transcending limitations within and outside ourselves and of knowing life here bad beyond.
Soul
I may have failed before. But I now want it to happen.
Slowly but surely building up faith on myself
Feb 11
Woke up missing Y a bit. Well he is gone.
Did Bhoota Shuddi followed by Guru pooja. Did one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya Kriya followed by asanas. Asanas not so great. But the two Legs sitting bend was good. No longer feel stretched at the knees.
Shakti was good. Lost a bit in tots during third cycle of Kapala Bhakti. Shambavi good too but did have some tots. Towards the end just sat in silence.
In the midst of meditation a tot came. What if I m meant to be without a partner just like those who are meant to be without a limb. I quickly wave it off and said that I can and will have my partner. I can create what I want. I don't want to be negative about it.
Ambition to vision by Sadhguru
If a man has a vision of what he wishes to do with himself and the world around him, it is not beyond his capacity to create it. It may happen in this lifetime or it may take a couple of lifetimes but what we want will definitely come.
At any given moment if we go by the experience of our past or in other words trust ur logical mind to decide what is possible and not possible, it will always tell u mediocre things as to what is possible. But if a person's vision of life is clear to him and if he seeks it every moment of his life, the highest things will come to him.
Soul
My dream is self mastery. My challenge lies in romantic relationship. At least I m now fearless. My faith is not strong yet but I m no longer fearful thanks to Y.
I am also not going to settle short. I want my partner to be mentally and spiritually compatible. Physical and emotion is not the key. I m no longer going to sell short. I want my partner but at my values.
True self mastery is actually to live fearlessly. To live fearlessly is to live in abandon.
I am going to be Love and will attract a lover with my values. I want a strong husband that I can grow together.
My Daily Card
The Ace of Hearts
The Ace of Hearts represents a desire for affection or love that is the stimulus that causes new relationships to be created. For this reason, it can indicate a new love affair or the birth of a child. Though influenced by each planetary period in a specific and unique way, this creative love energy always represents an awakening of love or passion in one's heart.
On a deeper level, the Ace of Hearts, being the very first card in the deck, represents a search for something inside of our self. Perhaps it is the search for self-identity or for those things that help us to love who we are unconditionally. In order to love ourselves, we often find someone to love who reflects back to us what we are seeking within. This is why the Ace of Hearts can represent a new relationship beginning.
Woke up missing Y a bit. Well he is gone.
Did Bhoota Shuddi followed by Guru pooja. Did one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya Kriya followed by asanas. Asanas not so great. But the two Legs sitting bend was good. No longer feel stretched at the knees.
Shakti was good. Lost a bit in tots during third cycle of Kapala Bhakti. Shambavi good too but did have some tots. Towards the end just sat in silence.
In the midst of meditation a tot came. What if I m meant to be without a partner just like those who are meant to be without a limb. I quickly wave it off and said that I can and will have my partner. I can create what I want. I don't want to be negative about it.
Ambition to vision by Sadhguru
If a man has a vision of what he wishes to do with himself and the world around him, it is not beyond his capacity to create it. It may happen in this lifetime or it may take a couple of lifetimes but what we want will definitely come.
At any given moment if we go by the experience of our past or in other words trust ur logical mind to decide what is possible and not possible, it will always tell u mediocre things as to what is possible. But if a person's vision of life is clear to him and if he seeks it every moment of his life, the highest things will come to him.
Soul
My dream is self mastery. My challenge lies in romantic relationship. At least I m now fearless. My faith is not strong yet but I m no longer fearful thanks to Y.
I am also not going to settle short. I want my partner to be mentally and spiritually compatible. Physical and emotion is not the key. I m no longer going to sell short. I want my partner but at my values.
True self mastery is actually to live fearlessly. To live fearlessly is to live in abandon.
I am going to be Love and will attract a lover with my values. I want a strong husband that I can grow together.
My Daily Card
The Ace of Hearts
The Ace of Hearts represents a desire for affection or love that is the stimulus that causes new relationships to be created. For this reason, it can indicate a new love affair or the birth of a child. Though influenced by each planetary period in a specific and unique way, this creative love energy always represents an awakening of love or passion in one's heart.
On a deeper level, the Ace of Hearts, being the very first card in the deck, represents a search for something inside of our self. Perhaps it is the search for self-identity or for those things that help us to love who we are unconditionally. In order to love ourselves, we often find someone to love who reflects back to us what we are seeking within. This is why the Ace of Hearts can represent a new relationship beginning.
Laughing Shakti Chalana Kriya
Feb 10
Woke up at 5 am upon alarm. Slept around 12.20 am yesterday night.
Did Bhoota Suddhi followed by guru pooja. Was bit sleepy today.
Did one cycle of Yoga Namaskar followed by one cycle of Surya kriya. My right toes are bit painful. May be due to yesterday jog. I think my shoes not suitable for light jog. I can feel the impact on my sole.
Did a short Shavasana followed by breathing. Breathing was lovely in arashidharna posture. Shakti was great, total focus. Just lose for one or two cycle counts in Kapala Bhakti. Towards the end laugh loads. Have never laugh so much. It continue till the resting posture.
Shambavi was great. Towards the end the snake breathe followed by gut breathing. And some shaking of heads followed by Stillness in arashidharna. So lovely.
Tot of the guy but now I know I want Y or someone similar to him. I want someone that I can connect mentally and not just physically.
Woke up at 5 am upon alarm. Slept around 12.20 am yesterday night.
Did Bhoota Suddhi followed by guru pooja. Was bit sleepy today.
Did one cycle of Yoga Namaskar followed by one cycle of Surya kriya. My right toes are bit painful. May be due to yesterday jog. I think my shoes not suitable for light jog. I can feel the impact on my sole.
Did a short Shavasana followed by breathing. Breathing was lovely in arashidharna posture. Shakti was great, total focus. Just lose for one or two cycle counts in Kapala Bhakti. Towards the end laugh loads. Have never laugh so much. It continue till the resting posture.
Shambavi was great. Towards the end the snake breathe followed by gut breathing. And some shaking of heads followed by Stillness in arashidharna. So lovely.
Tot of the guy but now I know I want Y or someone similar to him. I want someone that I can connect mentally and not just physically.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Is having a partner; a possession too?
Feb 9
This morning woke up feeling bit tired.
Woke up around 6.45 am to do Bhoota Suddhi and sat for 5 minutes before adjourned for my walk.
Did my short jog and long walk. Did very well in 1st cycle, but for 2nd cycle, I couldn't do as much and interspaced it.
Sweat loads. As I got into my car, a tot came. I have everything but no partner. Then I asked myself, "Is having a partner a possession too?"
I have possessed all that I want and missing part is only having my partner.
I begin to wonder.
Today card is Six of Diamonds in Neptune.
Checked my Osho tarot and got Insight card.
This morning woke up feeling bit tired.
Woke up around 6.45 am to do Bhoota Suddhi and sat for 5 minutes before adjourned for my walk.
Did my short jog and long walk. Did very well in 1st cycle, but for 2nd cycle, I couldn't do as much and interspaced it.
Sweat loads. As I got into my car, a tot came. I have everything but no partner. Then I asked myself, "Is having a partner a possession too?"
I have possessed all that I want and missing part is only having my partner.
I begin to wonder.
Today card is Six of Diamonds in Neptune.
Checked my Osho tarot and got Insight card.
Sadhguru - Isha Yoga is a method, it is not a teaching
Feb 8 eve
“With awareness, you will know the meaning of life. With abandon, you will know the magic of life.” —Sadhguru
Soul
That's the difference between awareness and samadhi path.
Me on samadhi path since initiation of Shambavi.
Ambition to Vision by Sadhguru
Isha yoga is not a teaching; it is a method. If you employ it as a method, it will deliver u somewhere. If u take it as a teaching, u get some more garbage in ur head.
Soul
True. I only used it as a tool. Only after 5 years, with the Shrine and Bhoota Shuddhi it becomes a devotion.
“With awareness, you will know the meaning of life. With abandon, you will know the magic of life.” —Sadhguru
Soul
That's the difference between awareness and samadhi path.
Me on samadhi path since initiation of Shambavi.
Ambition to Vision by Sadhguru
Isha yoga is not a teaching; it is a method. If you employ it as a method, it will deliver u somewhere. If u take it as a teaching, u get some more garbage in ur head.
Soul
True. I only used it as a tool. Only after 5 years, with the Shrine and Bhoota Shuddhi it becomes a devotion.
Sadhguru - when you are joyful, you no longer need to squeeze happiness from others
Feb 8 eve
“With awareness, you will know the meaning of life. With abandon, you will know the magic of life.” —Sadhguru
Soul
That's the difference between awareness and samadhi path.
Me on samadhi path since initiation of Shambavi.
Ambition to Vision by Sadhguru
Isha yoga is not a teaching; it is a method. If you employ it as a method, it will deliver u somewhere. If u take it as a teaching, u get some more garbage in ur head.
Soul
True. I only used it as a tool. Only after 5 years, with the Shrine and Bhoota Shuddhi it becomes a devotion.
Ambition to Vision by Sadhguru
The most fundamental is to fix ur way of experiencing life. If u are joyful by ur own nature, whatever u do, u will not go into an unhealthy state of life, within urself. U will go participate in any kind of competition but u are already blissful so u will do the best u can. Even if u come last it is still beautiful because u have done ur best.
U will know the joy of action only if u are blissful by ur own nature. If u are doing action to squeeze happiness out of life around u, then once in a way when there is a flash of success u are elated, but when it does not happen u will be miserable.
Soul
With Z I had no regrets. With Y I had no pain. It be good if Y turn around but if he doesn't it is not bad.
Losing no longer means death to me. I m still alive. Rejection or invalidation by others no longer means death to me.
Ambition to Vision by Sadhguru
The first and foremost thing that a child came with is, the moment his stomach is full he knows how to be joyful. Even an infant knows this. Only when he is hungry he yells, the rest of time he is joyful. This is the fundamental fabric of life.
Nature is clearly telling u that this state of being joyful is necessary for u to live a healthy life. This has to be firmed up, established, insured. U have to insure ur joy first and then get into activity. Then it does not matter whether activity goes up and down, u will not go up and down.
“With awareness, you will know the meaning of life. With abandon, you will know the magic of life.” —Sadhguru
Soul
That's the difference between awareness and samadhi path.
Me on samadhi path since initiation of Shambavi.
Ambition to Vision by Sadhguru
Isha yoga is not a teaching; it is a method. If you employ it as a method, it will deliver u somewhere. If u take it as a teaching, u get some more garbage in ur head.
Soul
True. I only used it as a tool. Only after 5 years, with the Shrine and Bhoota Shuddhi it becomes a devotion.
Ambition to Vision by Sadhguru
The most fundamental is to fix ur way of experiencing life. If u are joyful by ur own nature, whatever u do, u will not go into an unhealthy state of life, within urself. U will go participate in any kind of competition but u are already blissful so u will do the best u can. Even if u come last it is still beautiful because u have done ur best.
U will know the joy of action only if u are blissful by ur own nature. If u are doing action to squeeze happiness out of life around u, then once in a way when there is a flash of success u are elated, but when it does not happen u will be miserable.
Soul
With Z I had no regrets. With Y I had no pain. It be good if Y turn around but if he doesn't it is not bad.
Losing no longer means death to me. I m still alive. Rejection or invalidation by others no longer means death to me.
Ambition to Vision by Sadhguru
The first and foremost thing that a child came with is, the moment his stomach is full he knows how to be joyful. Even an infant knows this. Only when he is hungry he yells, the rest of time he is joyful. This is the fundamental fabric of life.
Nature is clearly telling u that this state of being joyful is necessary for u to live a healthy life. This has to be firmed up, established, insured. U have to insure ur joy first and then get into activity. Then it does not matter whether activity goes up and down, u will not go up and down.
Sadhguru - the whole process of yoga is to become less physical and more fluid, more subtle
Feb 8
Woke up upon alarm.
Did Bhoota Shuddi followed by Guru Pooja and once cycle of Surya Kriya. Did it slow.
Breathing was good.
Shakti was great..did slow Kapala Bhakti. Able to be aware when I am lost in tots
Shambavi was good..so contented.
At first was planning to go for swim and quiet time alone.
But during meditation, I knew whats important to me was spending time with my sister who is leaving today.
So, I changed my plan.
Also tot it be nice to catch up with old school mates..they seem fun.
Today Uranus card is Six of Diamonds
Today paradox card
Adventure
"Zen says truth has nothing to do with authority, truth has nothing to do with tradition, truth has nothing to do with the past – truth is a radical, personal realization. But the very search will help you to grow. I can guarantee only growth. Danger will be there, sacrifice will be there; you will be moving every day into the unknown, into the uncharted, and there will be no map to follow, no guide to follow. Yes, there are millions of dangers and you can go astray and you can get lost, but that is the only way one grows. Insecurity is the only way to grow; to face danger is the only way to grow, to accept the challenge of the unknown is the only way to grow." Osho
Whenever we move into the new and unknown with the trusting spirit of a child, innocent and open and vulnerable, even the smallest things of life can become the greatest adventures.
Got this from my blog
Mystic Musing
That's the whole creation is: a paint smear.
It starts out as really thick and gross, becomes thinner and thinner and becomes nothing.
The whole process of yoga is to become less physical and more fluid, more subtle.
The whole process of Samadhi is that state where the contact with the body is minimized to a single point, and the rest of the energy is loose, no longer involved with the body. Once energy is like that, much can be done with it.
All u can do is produce thoughts, emotions and physical actions; but once energy becomes free from physical identification and becomes fluid, so many unimaginable things can be done with it.
If u can go through life untouched. If u can play with life whichever way u want it and life still cannot do anything to u, life does not leave a scratch on u; that's the miracle we are working at.
Soul
I had all sort of tots of Y earlier.
But my body told me that I still want him. But it no longer affect me as much. It is not death to like someone who doesn't reciprocate.
Yesterday when I watch the fireworks, I remembered him videotaping the fireworks for me. I remember our connection during New Year eve. I miss him..but there is no pain...
Woke up upon alarm.
Did Bhoota Shuddi followed by Guru Pooja and once cycle of Surya Kriya. Did it slow.
Breathing was good.
Shakti was great..did slow Kapala Bhakti. Able to be aware when I am lost in tots
Shambavi was good..so contented.
At first was planning to go for swim and quiet time alone.
But during meditation, I knew whats important to me was spending time with my sister who is leaving today.
So, I changed my plan.
Also tot it be nice to catch up with old school mates..they seem fun.
Today Uranus card is Six of Diamonds
Today paradox card
Adventure
"Zen says truth has nothing to do with authority, truth has nothing to do with tradition, truth has nothing to do with the past – truth is a radical, personal realization. But the very search will help you to grow. I can guarantee only growth. Danger will be there, sacrifice will be there; you will be moving every day into the unknown, into the uncharted, and there will be no map to follow, no guide to follow. Yes, there are millions of dangers and you can go astray and you can get lost, but that is the only way one grows. Insecurity is the only way to grow; to face danger is the only way to grow, to accept the challenge of the unknown is the only way to grow." Osho
Whenever we move into the new and unknown with the trusting spirit of a child, innocent and open and vulnerable, even the smallest things of life can become the greatest adventures.
Got this from my blog
Mystic Musing
That's the whole creation is: a paint smear.
It starts out as really thick and gross, becomes thinner and thinner and becomes nothing.
The whole process of yoga is to become less physical and more fluid, more subtle.
The whole process of Samadhi is that state where the contact with the body is minimized to a single point, and the rest of the energy is loose, no longer involved with the body. Once energy is like that, much can be done with it.
All u can do is produce thoughts, emotions and physical actions; but once energy becomes free from physical identification and becomes fluid, so many unimaginable things can be done with it.
If u can go through life untouched. If u can play with life whichever way u want it and life still cannot do anything to u, life does not leave a scratch on u; that's the miracle we are working at.
Soul
I had all sort of tots of Y earlier.
But my body told me that I still want him. But it no longer affect me as much. It is not death to like someone who doesn't reciprocate.
Yesterday when I watch the fireworks, I remembered him videotaping the fireworks for me. I remember our connection during New Year eve. I miss him..but there is no pain...
No one owes me anything
Feb 7 aft 1
Life, love and laughter
My suggestion is that if you are really ready to fulfill the longing of the heart, then forget about love. First go into meditation, because love will come out of meditation. Love is the fragrance of meditation. Let it open. Then it its eternal. Then it is not directed to anybody in particular; it cannot be directed to anybody in particular. It is not a relationship; it is more a quality that surround u. It has nothin to do with the other. U are loving, u are love - then it is eternal. It is ur fragrance.
Soul
Well, just rest with my Shrine.
From FB
A great burden was lifted from my shoulders the day I realized that no one owes me anything. For so long as I’d thought there were things I was entitled to, I’d been wearing myself out —physically and emotionally — trying to collect them.
Life, love and laughter
My suggestion is that if you are really ready to fulfill the longing of the heart, then forget about love. First go into meditation, because love will come out of meditation. Love is the fragrance of meditation. Let it open. Then it its eternal. Then it is not directed to anybody in particular; it cannot be directed to anybody in particular. It is not a relationship; it is more a quality that surround u. It has nothin to do with the other. U are loving, u are love - then it is eternal. It is ur fragrance.
Soul
Well, just rest with my Shrine.
From FB
A great burden was lifted from my shoulders the day I realized that no one owes me anything. For so long as I’d thought there were things I was entitled to, I’d been wearing myself out —physically and emotionally — trying to collect them.
Osho - non attachment means when happiness has nothing to do with gain or loss
Feb 7 aft
Just feeling like a chapter of my life has ended with Y going off.
I just want to be alone and rest.
The last one month was quite a challenge and I pull through.
I think I shine too.
Finally I know I am fine alone.
Tot of those guys without legs. Thats their life; just like mine without a partner.
When I looked at them, I see that they come here with set of life situation for their soul growth. Just as I came here without a partner, that is too for my soul's growth.
Clicked our card.
Me - Burden
Him - Clinging to the past
Composite - Stress
Insight - Playfulness
Burden
When we carry a load of shoulds and shouldn'ts imposed on us by others we become like this ragged, struggling figure trying to make his way uphill. "Go faster, try harder, reach the top!" shouts the foolish tyrant he carries on his shoulder, while the tyrant himself is crowned with an imperious rooster. If life these days feels like just a struggle from the cradle to the grave, it could be time to shrug your shoulders and see what it feels like to walk without these characters on your back. You have your own mountains to conquer, your own dreams to fulfill, but you will never have the energy to pursue them until you release yourself from all the expectations you've gathered from others but now think are your own. Chances are they exist only in your own mind, but that doesn't mean they can't weigh you down. It's time to lighten up,
and send them on their way.
Playfulness
"The moment you start seeing life as non-serious, a playfulness, all the burden on your heart disappears. All the fear of death, of life, of love – everything disappears. One starts living with a very light weight or almost no weight. So weightless one becomes, one can fly in the open sky. Osho
Life is rarely as serious as we believe it to be, and when we recognize this fact, it responds by giving us more and more opportunities to play. When the Page of Fire enters your life, it is a sign that you are ready for the fresh and the new. Something wonderful is just on the horizon, and you have just the right quality of playful innocence and clarity to welcome it with open arms
Soul
Definitely, I went to Y with abandonment.
Even after he rejected me, I was okay.
I never let his rejection affect our friendship.
At times I admit I over do as me still achievement prone. But I no longer want to learn the lesson again.
Funny, his rejection; his absence makes me more confident.
I am fearless now.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Now for the first time, the other is removed and the self starts showering over the self. It is like our own springs had burst open, it is as though one had found one's own source, and the self had begun showering over the self.
When neither the gaining of certain things determines whether u are happy nor the losing of certain thing makes u happy; when happiness has nothing to do with gain or loss; when happiness has become one's own, with no requirement of outside stimulation - neither meeting nor not-meeting, they both become meaningless, then it is vairagya, meaning non-attachment.
Soul
May be cos I knew that anytime I am sad or down; I can just recuperate with my Shrine.
This week Osho tarot card really true..
1. Issue - understanding
2 Internal influence - Celebration
3. External - Rebel
4. What to do - Beyond illusion
5. Resolution - Going with the Flow
Amen
Just feeling like a chapter of my life has ended with Y going off.
I just want to be alone and rest.
The last one month was quite a challenge and I pull through.
I think I shine too.
Finally I know I am fine alone.
Tot of those guys without legs. Thats their life; just like mine without a partner.
When I looked at them, I see that they come here with set of life situation for their soul growth. Just as I came here without a partner, that is too for my soul's growth.
Clicked our card.
Me - Burden
Him - Clinging to the past
Composite - Stress
Insight - Playfulness
Burden
When we carry a load of shoulds and shouldn'ts imposed on us by others we become like this ragged, struggling figure trying to make his way uphill. "Go faster, try harder, reach the top!" shouts the foolish tyrant he carries on his shoulder, while the tyrant himself is crowned with an imperious rooster. If life these days feels like just a struggle from the cradle to the grave, it could be time to shrug your shoulders and see what it feels like to walk without these characters on your back. You have your own mountains to conquer, your own dreams to fulfill, but you will never have the energy to pursue them until you release yourself from all the expectations you've gathered from others but now think are your own. Chances are they exist only in your own mind, but that doesn't mean they can't weigh you down. It's time to lighten up,
and send them on their way.
Playfulness
"The moment you start seeing life as non-serious, a playfulness, all the burden on your heart disappears. All the fear of death, of life, of love – everything disappears. One starts living with a very light weight or almost no weight. So weightless one becomes, one can fly in the open sky. Osho
Life is rarely as serious as we believe it to be, and when we recognize this fact, it responds by giving us more and more opportunities to play. When the Page of Fire enters your life, it is a sign that you are ready for the fresh and the new. Something wonderful is just on the horizon, and you have just the right quality of playful innocence and clarity to welcome it with open arms
Soul
Definitely, I went to Y with abandonment.
Even after he rejected me, I was okay.
I never let his rejection affect our friendship.
At times I admit I over do as me still achievement prone. But I no longer want to learn the lesson again.
Funny, his rejection; his absence makes me more confident.
I am fearless now.
Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Now for the first time, the other is removed and the self starts showering over the self. It is like our own springs had burst open, it is as though one had found one's own source, and the self had begun showering over the self.
When neither the gaining of certain things determines whether u are happy nor the losing of certain thing makes u happy; when happiness has nothing to do with gain or loss; when happiness has become one's own, with no requirement of outside stimulation - neither meeting nor not-meeting, they both become meaningless, then it is vairagya, meaning non-attachment.
Soul
May be cos I knew that anytime I am sad or down; I can just recuperate with my Shrine.
This week Osho tarot card really true..
1. Issue - understanding
2 Internal influence - Celebration
3. External - Rebel
4. What to do - Beyond illusion
5. Resolution - Going with the Flow
Amen
I am who I am right now
Feb 7
1. Y in my second house
He bring me wealth and confidence
He is here to enhance my freedom in terms of my personal and financial strength and to make sure I know I can survive on my own.
He is here to make me see my unique talents and help me to become more aware of my value to others and to reap the rewards myself.
Y's purpose in my life is to be a conduit to a higher level of awareness than I would be able to reach without Y's influence. Y encourage me to take risks and grow.
Soul
He does all these by his absence.
Just had time to do Bhoota Shuddi, Guru Pooja, one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya Kriya; followed by a short shavasana. And then breathing. All these takes me about one hour plus. It was nice.
I feel protected with Bhoota Shuddi. Its like I carried the sense of protection with me.
Afternoon
Was at the physiotherapy ward with dad and I saw a few persons with amputated legs. I just saw them. I see that if this existence has given them this life situation, there must be a reason for it. They got the choice to live it through it and Grow...as it was meant to be.
Then I tot of myself without any partner all these years. Maybe it was meant to be...so that I can finally have my own values..
Everything making sense or rather it doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense.
I am who I am right now.
Today, did volunteering work for my dad at physiotherapy and later for Isha matters. This new me just take it in stride...
So today card very appropriate.
My Daily Card
The Jack of Hearts
The Jack of Hearts is known as the 'Christ Card', or the 'Card of Spiritual Sacrifice'. Whenever it is present, you will feel and be encouraged to elevate your thinking, speaking and acting to a higher level. You may also decide to make some sort of personal sacrifice when this influence is present. This would likely be for the sake of someone younger than yourself though it can take other forms. The period position will delineate the exact nature of the sacrifice you feel impelled to make.
In any case, this card does bring a strong dose of higher, spiritual love into our lives and will encourage us to do things from a higher motive than usual.
This is also my 52 days card in Saturn.
Looks like once a month I got to bring dad to Physiotheraphy and looks like Isha being rejunevated and will grow. I will be pulled in once again.
Looks like my dad, Isha and finally Y....
Surprisingly, there is no fear...
1. Y in my second house
He bring me wealth and confidence
He is here to enhance my freedom in terms of my personal and financial strength and to make sure I know I can survive on my own.
He is here to make me see my unique talents and help me to become more aware of my value to others and to reap the rewards myself.
Y's purpose in my life is to be a conduit to a higher level of awareness than I would be able to reach without Y's influence. Y encourage me to take risks and grow.
Soul
He does all these by his absence.
Just had time to do Bhoota Shuddi, Guru Pooja, one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya Kriya; followed by a short shavasana. And then breathing. All these takes me about one hour plus. It was nice.
I feel protected with Bhoota Shuddi. Its like I carried the sense of protection with me.
Afternoon
Was at the physiotherapy ward with dad and I saw a few persons with amputated legs. I just saw them. I see that if this existence has given them this life situation, there must be a reason for it. They got the choice to live it through it and Grow...as it was meant to be.
Then I tot of myself without any partner all these years. Maybe it was meant to be...so that I can finally have my own values..
Everything making sense or rather it doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense.
I am who I am right now.
Today, did volunteering work for my dad at physiotherapy and later for Isha matters. This new me just take it in stride...
So today card very appropriate.
My Daily Card
The Jack of Hearts
The Jack of Hearts is known as the 'Christ Card', or the 'Card of Spiritual Sacrifice'. Whenever it is present, you will feel and be encouraged to elevate your thinking, speaking and acting to a higher level. You may also decide to make some sort of personal sacrifice when this influence is present. This would likely be for the sake of someone younger than yourself though it can take other forms. The period position will delineate the exact nature of the sacrifice you feel impelled to make.
In any case, this card does bring a strong dose of higher, spiritual love into our lives and will encourage us to do things from a higher motive than usual.
This is also my 52 days card in Saturn.
Looks like once a month I got to bring dad to Physiotheraphy and looks like Isha being rejunevated and will grow. I will be pulled in once again.
Looks like my dad, Isha and finally Y....
Surprisingly, there is no fear...
Shawnberry - Don't go back to sleep
Feb 6 eve
https://shavawnberry.contently.com/
Lesson Three: Losses and Betrayals Break Our Hearts Open. Don’t Shut Down. Don’t Go Back to Sleep.
Advocate for yourself.
No one else will love you and treat you right if you cannot protect and value your own feelings. Now, I see the betrayal as a great awakening in a long series of awakenings that have come my way. Sometimes our teachers are kind; sometimes they are terrible. The point is, my long-ago ex and my former friend broke my heart open. For a while afterward, I kept trying to seal it off from life, but life would have none of that.
Now, that raw, still beating heart lives in every word I write. Despite the carnage, I am profoundly grateful for the losses I endured.
Lesson Four: Be Grateful for Everything & Focus on What You Actually Want, Not What You Fear.
We must swallow our fear, and instead, give birth to love.
“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” ~ John Lennon
Lesson Five: Love is the only thing that truly matters. It is the only thing we take with us when we die.
I began to understand that suffering is a part of life. Death is just as integral to life as birth is. We cannot (and will not) get out of here alive.
Knowing the ephemeral nature of all life helped me see that the only thing that matters in the long run is love. How we love. Who we love. That we love.
Love is what matters. Love is what breaks us and what builds us up. Love is the answer to every riddle. Love is the missing piece that we only realize much later, is never missing. Love, you see, is something we carry inside us, from our cribs to our deathbeds. It is our bones and teeth. It is our marrow. It is what will transform our shadows into figures of light.
Love is the grease that turns the wheel of life.
https://shavawnberry.contently.com/
Lesson Three: Losses and Betrayals Break Our Hearts Open. Don’t Shut Down. Don’t Go Back to Sleep.
Advocate for yourself.
No one else will love you and treat you right if you cannot protect and value your own feelings. Now, I see the betrayal as a great awakening in a long series of awakenings that have come my way. Sometimes our teachers are kind; sometimes they are terrible. The point is, my long-ago ex and my former friend broke my heart open. For a while afterward, I kept trying to seal it off from life, but life would have none of that.
Now, that raw, still beating heart lives in every word I write. Despite the carnage, I am profoundly grateful for the losses I endured.
Lesson Four: Be Grateful for Everything & Focus on What You Actually Want, Not What You Fear.
We must swallow our fear, and instead, give birth to love.
“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” ~ John Lennon
Lesson Five: Love is the only thing that truly matters. It is the only thing we take with us when we die.
I began to understand that suffering is a part of life. Death is just as integral to life as birth is. We cannot (and will not) get out of here alive.
Knowing the ephemeral nature of all life helped me see that the only thing that matters in the long run is love. How we love. Who we love. That we love.
Love is what matters. Love is what breaks us and what builds us up. Love is the answer to every riddle. Love is the missing piece that we only realize much later, is never missing. Love, you see, is something we carry inside us, from our cribs to our deathbeds. It is our bones and teeth. It is our marrow. It is what will transform our shadows into figures of light.
Love is the grease that turns the wheel of life.
Slowly having positive instead of habitual negative perception over ending in relationships
Feb 6
Woke up 3.50 am upon alarm. Been about a week since I got to wake up so early. Did Bhoota Suddhi followed by Guru pooja. Did one cycle of yoga namaskar and surya kriya. Both also okay. Asanas were good too.
Breathing was fine. Shakti was bit out. Shambavi was good. After the end I had a doze. Guess just tired.
This morning I had an alternative tot of the ending of Z and Y. Instead of lamenting that it end so fast or that it didn't last; perhaps it ended because I have learned my lessons. I need not stay much longer than that. This is a very positive tot.
This week Osho card
1. The issue
Understanding
U r out of jail, out of the cage; u can open ur wings and the whole sky is yours. In the inner world, freedom is the highest value - everything else is secondary, even blissfulness, ecstasy. There are thousands of flowers, uncountable but they all become possible in the climate of freedom.
2. Internal influences that u are unable to see
Celebration.
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then u will enter the temple.
Ur cleverness is ur disease. Don't be too wise. Always remember to stop; don't go to the extreme. A little foolishness and a little wisdom is good and the right combination makes u a Buddha.
Soul
Yes, the old school mate gathering. Its looks fun but I m not sure if they are my crowd. Then I tot of Y who close up anything not in his comfortable space. Yes, maybe should open up. At least the food is there.
3. External influences
The Rebel
The rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colours of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky.
His way of being is rebellious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything but because he has discovered his own true nature and determined to live in accordance with it.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Beyond illusion
Behind the butterfly is the face of consciousness, looking inward to that which is eternal. The space between the two eyes has opened, revealing the lotus of spiritual unfoldment and the rising sun of awareness. Through the rising sun, meditation is born. The card reminds us not to look outside for what is real, but to look within.
When we focus on external, we too often get caught in judgments - this is good, this is bad, I want this, I don't want that. These judgments keep us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns.
Drop ur opinionated mind and move inside. Then u can relax into ur own deepest truth, where the difference between dreams and reality is known
Soul
There were no response from Y. For the first time in my life I was not affected. I just accept it. Not sure if this is true as this morning I had tots of past pleasure with Z. And I waived it and said the pleasure be with my husband.
5. The resolutions
Going with the flow
The figure on this card is completely relaxed and at ease in the water, letting it take him where it will. He has mastered the art of being passive and receptive without being dull and sleepy. He is just available to the current of life, with never a tot of saying I don't like this or I prefer to go the other way.
When this card appears, it is an indication that u are able to float now, trusting that life will support u in ur relaxation and take u exactly where it wants u to go. Allow this trust and relaxation to grow more and more; everything is happening exactly as it should.
Woke up 3.50 am upon alarm. Been about a week since I got to wake up so early. Did Bhoota Suddhi followed by Guru pooja. Did one cycle of yoga namaskar and surya kriya. Both also okay. Asanas were good too.
Breathing was fine. Shakti was bit out. Shambavi was good. After the end I had a doze. Guess just tired.
This morning I had an alternative tot of the ending of Z and Y. Instead of lamenting that it end so fast or that it didn't last; perhaps it ended because I have learned my lessons. I need not stay much longer than that. This is a very positive tot.
This week Osho card
1. The issue
Understanding
U r out of jail, out of the cage; u can open ur wings and the whole sky is yours. In the inner world, freedom is the highest value - everything else is secondary, even blissfulness, ecstasy. There are thousands of flowers, uncountable but they all become possible in the climate of freedom.
2. Internal influences that u are unable to see
Celebration.
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then u will enter the temple.
Ur cleverness is ur disease. Don't be too wise. Always remember to stop; don't go to the extreme. A little foolishness and a little wisdom is good and the right combination makes u a Buddha.
Soul
Yes, the old school mate gathering. Its looks fun but I m not sure if they are my crowd. Then I tot of Y who close up anything not in his comfortable space. Yes, maybe should open up. At least the food is there.
3. External influences
The Rebel
The rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colours of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky.
His way of being is rebellious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything but because he has discovered his own true nature and determined to live in accordance with it.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Beyond illusion
Behind the butterfly is the face of consciousness, looking inward to that which is eternal. The space between the two eyes has opened, revealing the lotus of spiritual unfoldment and the rising sun of awareness. Through the rising sun, meditation is born. The card reminds us not to look outside for what is real, but to look within.
When we focus on external, we too often get caught in judgments - this is good, this is bad, I want this, I don't want that. These judgments keep us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns.
Drop ur opinionated mind and move inside. Then u can relax into ur own deepest truth, where the difference between dreams and reality is known
Soul
There were no response from Y. For the first time in my life I was not affected. I just accept it. Not sure if this is true as this morning I had tots of past pleasure with Z. And I waived it and said the pleasure be with my husband.
5. The resolutions
Going with the flow
The figure on this card is completely relaxed and at ease in the water, letting it take him where it will. He has mastered the art of being passive and receptive without being dull and sleepy. He is just available to the current of life, with never a tot of saying I don't like this or I prefer to go the other way.
When this card appears, it is an indication that u are able to float now, trusting that life will support u in ur relaxation and take u exactly where it wants u to go. Allow this trust and relaxation to grow more and more; everything is happening exactly as it should.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Osho on Existence - you are unique and irreplaceable..
Feb 4
Woke up at 6.45 am but wanted to doze bit and tot I put alarm. Alas I woke up at 7.45 am. Then I tot its time for a full sabbatical.
Finally woke up 9.48 am with a tot.
"Let what comes come, let what goes go"
Suddenly no need to do anything on Y. If he want to go, he goes. If he want to comes, he know where to contact me.
Just did our card
1. Me - Aloneness
2. Him - The Outsider
3. Composite - Existence
4. Insight - Exhaustion.
Still not sure. So checked my today card; The Creator - sharing.
Today's Venus card is Ace of Spade.
My Daily Card
The Ace of Spades
The Ace of Spades means a SECRET of some kind. This card was the emblem for many of the secret societies of old, being the 'key to the mysteries'. As such, it represents the 'truth that lies behind the veil of illusion'. So, it has often been the symbol for the study and pursuit of esoteric knowledge and mystical wisdoms.
The Ace of Spades is also one of the traditional cards for death, change and transformation. With this mystical card in your spread, it is certain that you will go through some sort of death and rebirth, or at the least, some important and powerful changes.
Another facet of the Ace of Spades is the desire for work. Since all Aces represent new beginnings, the Ace of Spades can come up when we are preparing to launch a new job or occupation.
My 52-Day Period Card
The Jack of Hearts
The Jack of Hearts is known as the 'Christ Card', or the 'Card of Spiritual Sacrifice'. Whenever it is present, you will feel and be encouraged to elevate your thinking, speaking and acting to a higher level. You may also decide to make some sort of personal sacrifice when this influence is present. This would likely be for the sake of someone younger than yourself though it can take other forms. The period position will delineate the exact nature of the sacrifice you feel impelled to make.
In any case, this card does bring a strong dose of higher, spiritual love into our lives and will encourage us to do things from a higher motive than usual.
Soul
Just realised that I have been getting Existence card whenever I checked on relationship between Y and I.
Composite Energy - Existence"
You are not accidental. Existence needs you. Without you something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it. That's what gives you dignity, that the whole existence will miss you. The stars and sun and moon, the trees and birds and earth – everything in the universe will feel a small place is vacant which cannot be filled by anybody except you. Now is the time to look at whether you are allowing yourself to receive the extraordinary gift of feeling "at home" wherever you are. If you are, be sure to take time to savor it so it can deepen and remain with you. If on the other hand you've been feeling like the world is out to get you, it's time to take a break. Go outside tonight and look at the stars.
Soul
This is to tell me even if Y doesn't need me, Existence needs me.
18 Feb
Suddenly a tot came..Existence needs me..and here I have been worried about Y not needing me..about me not being lovable..but actually I am already loved, I am irreplaceable.
Woke up at 6.45 am but wanted to doze bit and tot I put alarm. Alas I woke up at 7.45 am. Then I tot its time for a full sabbatical.
Finally woke up 9.48 am with a tot.
"Let what comes come, let what goes go"
Suddenly no need to do anything on Y. If he want to go, he goes. If he want to comes, he know where to contact me.
Just did our card
1. Me - Aloneness
2. Him - The Outsider
3. Composite - Existence
4. Insight - Exhaustion.
Still not sure. So checked my today card; The Creator - sharing.
Today's Venus card is Ace of Spade.
My Daily Card
The Ace of Spades
The Ace of Spades means a SECRET of some kind. This card was the emblem for many of the secret societies of old, being the 'key to the mysteries'. As such, it represents the 'truth that lies behind the veil of illusion'. So, it has often been the symbol for the study and pursuit of esoteric knowledge and mystical wisdoms.
The Ace of Spades is also one of the traditional cards for death, change and transformation. With this mystical card in your spread, it is certain that you will go through some sort of death and rebirth, or at the least, some important and powerful changes.
Another facet of the Ace of Spades is the desire for work. Since all Aces represent new beginnings, the Ace of Spades can come up when we are preparing to launch a new job or occupation.
My 52-Day Period Card
The Jack of Hearts
The Jack of Hearts is known as the 'Christ Card', or the 'Card of Spiritual Sacrifice'. Whenever it is present, you will feel and be encouraged to elevate your thinking, speaking and acting to a higher level. You may also decide to make some sort of personal sacrifice when this influence is present. This would likely be for the sake of someone younger than yourself though it can take other forms. The period position will delineate the exact nature of the sacrifice you feel impelled to make.
In any case, this card does bring a strong dose of higher, spiritual love into our lives and will encourage us to do things from a higher motive than usual.
Soul
Just realised that I have been getting Existence card whenever I checked on relationship between Y and I.
Composite Energy - Existence"
You are not accidental. Existence needs you. Without you something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it. That's what gives you dignity, that the whole existence will miss you. The stars and sun and moon, the trees and birds and earth – everything in the universe will feel a small place is vacant which cannot be filled by anybody except you. Now is the time to look at whether you are allowing yourself to receive the extraordinary gift of feeling "at home" wherever you are. If you are, be sure to take time to savor it so it can deepen and remain with you. If on the other hand you've been feeling like the world is out to get you, it's time to take a break. Go outside tonight and look at the stars.
Soul
This is to tell me even if Y doesn't need me, Existence needs me.
18 Feb
Suddenly a tot came..Existence needs me..and here I have been worried about Y not needing me..about me not being lovable..but actually I am already loved, I am irreplaceable.
Sadhguru - if you want life to happen the way you want, you need to be clear about what you really want
Feb 3
Ramana Maharishi
Let what comes come, let what goes go.
Why do u worry?
Soul
A week has passed since our last message. I didn't miss him as much as I tot I would. The only thing is me thinking how to maintain the friendship. But reading this I tot, answer is just to let be. I can clap on my own. He has been avoiding me and his last message is clear that he doesn't want me in his life. So just accept as I m still not ready to be just friend.
Ambition to vision
If we want life to happen the way we want it, the first and foremost requirement is to be clear about what it is that we really want.
Soul
That's why the passion test is important.
Ambition to vision
If u want to live ur life with a certain ease, u have to know this piece of life. If you do not explore and know this, how can u live with ease? And where there is no ease, joy is out of question. When there is no ease and joy in ur life, then questions will come up, "To be or not to be?"
People think this is a vet intelligent question. This is the most idiotic thing you can ask urself. This life process is such a phenomenon. But u are asking, "To be or not to be?" Such silly question has risen in ur mind because u have not realised the immensity of what it means to be human. Self realisation is not a choice: it is a must.
Soul
I never asked that question.
Ramana Maharishi
Let what comes come, let what goes go.
Why do u worry?
Soul
A week has passed since our last message. I didn't miss him as much as I tot I would. The only thing is me thinking how to maintain the friendship. But reading this I tot, answer is just to let be. I can clap on my own. He has been avoiding me and his last message is clear that he doesn't want me in his life. So just accept as I m still not ready to be just friend.
Ambition to vision
If we want life to happen the way we want it, the first and foremost requirement is to be clear about what it is that we really want.
Soul
That's why the passion test is important.
Ambition to vision
If u want to live ur life with a certain ease, u have to know this piece of life. If you do not explore and know this, how can u live with ease? And where there is no ease, joy is out of question. When there is no ease and joy in ur life, then questions will come up, "To be or not to be?"
People think this is a vet intelligent question. This is the most idiotic thing you can ask urself. This life process is such a phenomenon. But u are asking, "To be or not to be?" Such silly question has risen in ur mind because u have not realised the immensity of what it means to be human. Self realisation is not a choice: it is a must.
Soul
I never asked that question.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Dhynalinga - when truly access the way it is, you go crazy with laughter
Jan 30 eve
Been feeling contented the whole day. No sadness over Y; just acceptance.
Life love and laughter
There is not high more valuable than laughter. Laughter brings u closer to prayer. Infact only laughter is left in u when u are total. In everything else u remain partial, even in lovemaking u remain partial. But when u have a really heartfelt belly laugh, all the parts of ur being - the physiological, the psychological, the spiritual - they all vibrate in one single tune, they all vibrate in harmony.
Hence laughter relaxes. And relaxation is spiritual.
Soul
Amen
At this New Moon hope shines brightly, reminding us we don’t always know what’s best, no matter how right we may feel, and the intricate tapestry of life’s plan for us is often only fully appreciated once we have lived it and watched as the various bits drop into place over time. As we do this, hope can keep our faith and commitment alive.
Which reveals just what the fresh perspective of this New Moon brings: the promise of possibility we had previously failed to recognise; the gift of potential that we didn’t spot before. There are new perspectives to be enjoyed now and this Moon reminds us that no matter how far we may have strayed from where we want to be, hope stays with us and can be released at any time to reframe our world and remind us that most things are rarely quite what they seem…
Happy New Moon everyone.
Sarah Varcas
Mystic Musings
In terms of energy, the Dhynalinga is a mixture, a concoction of pure awareness and madness, the very peak of that, the highest mixture, a cocktail. In the future, if one day some realised beings who are very sensitive come to that place and access the Dhynalinga the way it really is, they will go crazy with laughter. Because that's how it was created. It is dead serious on one level and so ridiculous on the other level. It is pure awareness on one level and pure madness on another. If people can really access the way the Dhynalinga has been created, if they really see it, they will go crazy with laughter.
Been feeling contented the whole day. No sadness over Y; just acceptance.
Life love and laughter
There is not high more valuable than laughter. Laughter brings u closer to prayer. Infact only laughter is left in u when u are total. In everything else u remain partial, even in lovemaking u remain partial. But when u have a really heartfelt belly laugh, all the parts of ur being - the physiological, the psychological, the spiritual - they all vibrate in one single tune, they all vibrate in harmony.
Hence laughter relaxes. And relaxation is spiritual.
Soul
Amen
At this New Moon hope shines brightly, reminding us we don’t always know what’s best, no matter how right we may feel, and the intricate tapestry of life’s plan for us is often only fully appreciated once we have lived it and watched as the various bits drop into place over time. As we do this, hope can keep our faith and commitment alive.
Which reveals just what the fresh perspective of this New Moon brings: the promise of possibility we had previously failed to recognise; the gift of potential that we didn’t spot before. There are new perspectives to be enjoyed now and this Moon reminds us that no matter how far we may have strayed from where we want to be, hope stays with us and can be released at any time to reframe our world and remind us that most things are rarely quite what they seem…
Happy New Moon everyone.
Sarah Varcas
Mystic Musings
In terms of energy, the Dhynalinga is a mixture, a concoction of pure awareness and madness, the very peak of that, the highest mixture, a cocktail. In the future, if one day some realised beings who are very sensitive come to that place and access the Dhynalinga the way it really is, they will go crazy with laughter. Because that's how it was created. It is dead serious on one level and so ridiculous on the other level. It is pure awareness on one level and pure madness on another. If people can really access the way the Dhynalinga has been created, if they really see it, they will go crazy with laughter.
Jack of Spades - new spiritual practices
Jan 30
Today couldnt' do any practices as need to accompany my mom to wet market at 5 am.
Just light the teapot candle for the shrine. Sat there for a moment and say my thanks to the Masters.
Today went to hospital for dad's physiotherapy.
While I was driving, just looking at the sky and did breathe watching.
Today while at home, I caught myself saying I love myself constantly...Thats a change, normally I would say I love someone else.
Mmm, wonder if the Ace of Heart as result is a new way of loving myself.
Just now did Shoonya, at first just able to watch breathe. Moments later, went in deep.
I am forever thankful for the shrine.
Cancer in January.
January’s second New Moon occurs on the 30th, in the sign of Aquarius. This is a great time to open yourself to new ways of thinking and working with your emotions. You can use this New Moon to set goals involving self acceptance, cultivating the parts of yourself that make you unique and creating space for more authenticity within your close relationships. As you move towards embracing all the aspects of yourself, you can experience a sense of liberation.
Soul
Today I feel good. Tot of me alone and looking forward to new beginning. No more sadness over Y. Just acceptance.
Evening Shoonya was good too. Also feels great to be able to connect to the sky. The sky is now my shrine.
Ruling
Jack of Spades
Long range
A year when u are introduced to many new spiritual philosophy and concepts. U may even begin practicing a new ideology related to some new spiritual path that u have begun. Exposure to these new things may cause a significant change in ur life style, one that encourages you to do better things for ur health and life in general.
Soul
This year I got my Shrine. And now doing Bhuta Suddhi.
Today couldnt' do any practices as need to accompany my mom to wet market at 5 am.
Just light the teapot candle for the shrine. Sat there for a moment and say my thanks to the Masters.
Today went to hospital for dad's physiotherapy.
While I was driving, just looking at the sky and did breathe watching.
Today while at home, I caught myself saying I love myself constantly...Thats a change, normally I would say I love someone else.
Mmm, wonder if the Ace of Heart as result is a new way of loving myself.
Just now did Shoonya, at first just able to watch breathe. Moments later, went in deep.
I am forever thankful for the shrine.
Cancer in January.
January’s second New Moon occurs on the 30th, in the sign of Aquarius. This is a great time to open yourself to new ways of thinking and working with your emotions. You can use this New Moon to set goals involving self acceptance, cultivating the parts of yourself that make you unique and creating space for more authenticity within your close relationships. As you move towards embracing all the aspects of yourself, you can experience a sense of liberation.
Soul
Today I feel good. Tot of me alone and looking forward to new beginning. No more sadness over Y. Just acceptance.
Evening Shoonya was good too. Also feels great to be able to connect to the sky. The sky is now my shrine.
Ruling
Jack of Spades
Long range
A year when u are introduced to many new spiritual philosophy and concepts. U may even begin practicing a new ideology related to some new spiritual path that u have begun. Exposure to these new things may cause a significant change in ur life style, one that encourages you to do better things for ur health and life in general.
Soul
This year I got my Shrine. And now doing Bhuta Suddhi.
Saturn period in Five of Spades and Jack of Hearts
Jan 29 eve
Saturn 28 Jan to 21 Mar
Ruling
Five of Spades
King of Hearts.
Five of Spades means a change in ur lifestyle or the things that u do day in and day out. When this card appears, something will change that affects the way u live or the things u do each day.
Health issue or a journey caused by someone's illness, may cause a change in job or home during this period. Changes tend to bring more harm then good, though u may not able to avoid them, as they may be necessary for other reason. This card also can represent a change in health condition (for the worse) or visit to a doctor.
King of Hearts
King of Hearts represent the perfect lover or companion and so it often indicates having an enjoyable sexual relationship or in some cases, marriage.
Soul
Well, dad is now bedridden and we be having another new nursing maid. Downstairs will now be like Rehab centre. Truly glad that I have my shrine to come home to and Bhuta Suddhi to enveloped me in grace.
Me now on inhaler after one month of non stop cough.
Destiny
Jack of Hearts
Ten of Clubs
Jack of Hearts
The Christ card or the card of spiritual sacrifice. U will feel and be encouraged to elevate ur thinking, speaking and acting to a higher level. U may also decide to make some sort of personal sacrifice.
U could be feeling some limitation brought about by the illness or I'll fortune of someone close to u, usually a good hearted young man. U could feel obliged to give up ur personal desires to help this man, and yet feel chained down or limited in some ways. This Influence usually indicates a time when difficult but necessary sacrifice have to be made. The other card in this case will give u more details.
Soul
Well, my dad is now coming home bed ridden.
Y is Ten of Clubs.
But my boss also Ten of Clubs. Anyway, Y already invalidated me and so no longer in my path. Most likely is my dad.
Mmm, if Y and I have not split I would say it was him as he is younger and has Destiny in Queen of Hearts and Ruling in Ten of Clubs.
Since we already ended peacefully. Don't think its him.
Feb 14
Now Isha leadership is changing and me now partnering L to take charge.
Saturn 28 Jan to 21 Mar
Ruling
Five of Spades
King of Hearts.
Five of Spades means a change in ur lifestyle or the things that u do day in and day out. When this card appears, something will change that affects the way u live or the things u do each day.
Health issue or a journey caused by someone's illness, may cause a change in job or home during this period. Changes tend to bring more harm then good, though u may not able to avoid them, as they may be necessary for other reason. This card also can represent a change in health condition (for the worse) or visit to a doctor.
King of Hearts
King of Hearts represent the perfect lover or companion and so it often indicates having an enjoyable sexual relationship or in some cases, marriage.
Soul
Well, dad is now bedridden and we be having another new nursing maid. Downstairs will now be like Rehab centre. Truly glad that I have my shrine to come home to and Bhuta Suddhi to enveloped me in grace.
Me now on inhaler after one month of non stop cough.
Destiny
Jack of Hearts
Ten of Clubs
Jack of Hearts
The Christ card or the card of spiritual sacrifice. U will feel and be encouraged to elevate ur thinking, speaking and acting to a higher level. U may also decide to make some sort of personal sacrifice.
U could be feeling some limitation brought about by the illness or I'll fortune of someone close to u, usually a good hearted young man. U could feel obliged to give up ur personal desires to help this man, and yet feel chained down or limited in some ways. This Influence usually indicates a time when difficult but necessary sacrifice have to be made. The other card in this case will give u more details.
Soul
Well, my dad is now coming home bed ridden.
Y is Ten of Clubs.
But my boss also Ten of Clubs. Anyway, Y already invalidated me and so no longer in my path. Most likely is my dad.
Mmm, if Y and I have not split I would say it was him as he is younger and has Destiny in Queen of Hearts and Ruling in Ten of Clubs.
Since we already ended peacefully. Don't think its him.
Feb 14
Now Isha leadership is changing and me now partnering L to take charge.
When I am fearless, I get the truth
Jan 29
New beginning in 2013/2014
Venus in Ace of Spades
Venus in Eight of Clubs.
Nine of Diamonds. Ending of Y with confirmation of Kailash. My husband is coming.
When I m fearless in communication, I may not get what I want but I get the truth. And with the truth I can then act decisively. No more hanging in uncertainty, no more time wasting.
So integrity for Seven of Hearts will help me to overcome a attachment in Two of Diamonds. And I can detach cos I also have Nine of Diamonds. And this ending of Nine of Diamonds is my environment card this year too.
Just wrote two story after a break of nearly 3 months.
Firstly cos I was occupied with Y since mid November after my Samyama. Secondly I felt I am not good when compared to those writers in rebellesociety, jeff fosters and matt licata.
Anyway, well, I am not them. So I will stop comparing. I write for myself.
This is my card today. It is Saturn and I channel it positively into writing instead of pining for Y. I got the Dream card today.
My Daily Card
The Three of Spades
The Three of Spades is one of the most creative cards in the deck. It is known as the 'Artist's Card'. It is so creative that if not channelled properly, it can represent indecision, fear and physical stress.
The Three of Spades can mean literally splitting ourselves in two so that we are working two jobs at the same time, or are somehow pursuing two lifestyles at the same time. Whether we are successful at doing this will depend upon the position of the card (Jupiter is best, Saturn is worst) and how well we are able to direct its energies into creative enterprises.
New beginning in 2013/2014
Venus in Ace of Spades
Venus in Eight of Clubs.
Nine of Diamonds. Ending of Y with confirmation of Kailash. My husband is coming.
When I m fearless in communication, I may not get what I want but I get the truth. And with the truth I can then act decisively. No more hanging in uncertainty, no more time wasting.
So integrity for Seven of Hearts will help me to overcome a attachment in Two of Diamonds. And I can detach cos I also have Nine of Diamonds. And this ending of Nine of Diamonds is my environment card this year too.
Just wrote two story after a break of nearly 3 months.
Firstly cos I was occupied with Y since mid November after my Samyama. Secondly I felt I am not good when compared to those writers in rebellesociety, jeff fosters and matt licata.
Anyway, well, I am not them. So I will stop comparing. I write for myself.
This is my card today. It is Saturn and I channel it positively into writing instead of pining for Y. I got the Dream card today.
My Daily Card
The Three of Spades
The Three of Spades is one of the most creative cards in the deck. It is known as the 'Artist's Card'. It is so creative that if not channelled properly, it can represent indecision, fear and physical stress.
The Three of Spades can mean literally splitting ourselves in two so that we are working two jobs at the same time, or are somehow pursuing two lifestyles at the same time. Whether we are successful at doing this will depend upon the position of the card (Jupiter is best, Saturn is worst) and how well we are able to direct its energies into creative enterprises.
We can only be authentic when we show up as ourselves
Jan 29
Got this from Facebook.
Copyright 2013 David R. Hamilton PhD.
Pretending allows us to be as good, Whole, Healed, or as perfect, as everyone else. It lets us stay in the fold. But we’ve got it the wrong way around. The only way to really be connected, to belong, and for love, then, to grow, is if we take off our masks, stop pretending that we’re perfect, and just be ourselves.
When we do this, we find that the connections we were afraid of losing actually become stronger. Deep or meaningful bonds are only forged when we show up as ourselves, when we allow ourselves to be seen for who we really are. All of us, without exception, have fears, insecurities, and self-doubts – about how we look, our abilities, our age, our intelligence, our sexual performances, our parenting skills, and so on.
Yes, it can be a scary thing to show up as yourself. There is an element of risk involved. Vulnerability raises to the surface these deep fears of being kicked out and no longer belonging. But it’s through being vulnerable that we obtain the connections and belonging that we so deeply crave.
It’s a lot of what self-love is. Having the courage to be vulnerable, to be yourself regardless of the risk involved, is one of the greatest acts of self-love you will ever make. Self-love takes courage, but it starts with being yourself.
I find that when I show vulnerability, like in admitting how I felt at the side of the stage, it doesn’t invalidate what I write about and teach. I used to fear that. But it enhances it. I have a much deeper experience of what I’m talking about and I feel stronger inside … like I really do belong.
And that’s because I remember that we really are all just the same.
Soul
Same as my learning.
Got this from Facebook.
Copyright 2013 David R. Hamilton PhD.
Pretending allows us to be as good, Whole, Healed, or as perfect, as everyone else. It lets us stay in the fold. But we’ve got it the wrong way around. The only way to really be connected, to belong, and for love, then, to grow, is if we take off our masks, stop pretending that we’re perfect, and just be ourselves.
When we do this, we find that the connections we were afraid of losing actually become stronger. Deep or meaningful bonds are only forged when we show up as ourselves, when we allow ourselves to be seen for who we really are. All of us, without exception, have fears, insecurities, and self-doubts – about how we look, our abilities, our age, our intelligence, our sexual performances, our parenting skills, and so on.
Yes, it can be a scary thing to show up as yourself. There is an element of risk involved. Vulnerability raises to the surface these deep fears of being kicked out and no longer belonging. But it’s through being vulnerable that we obtain the connections and belonging that we so deeply crave.
It’s a lot of what self-love is. Having the courage to be vulnerable, to be yourself regardless of the risk involved, is one of the greatest acts of self-love you will ever make. Self-love takes courage, but it starts with being yourself.
I find that when I show vulnerability, like in admitting how I felt at the side of the stage, it doesn’t invalidate what I write about and teach. I used to fear that. But it enhances it. I have a much deeper experience of what I’m talking about and I feel stronger inside … like I really do belong.
And that’s because I remember that we really are all just the same.
Soul
Same as my learning.
Samyam is truly karma Samyama
Jan 28 eve 3
Soul
Sadness is creeping in. But I know I be fine. Mind wanted to go extreme but I m not going there.
The breakthrough I have is too incredible to be overcome by sadness on separation with Y.
Mmm, three years ago after Samyama in nov 2010; the new year in 2011; there was the fearful waiting for Z on my declaration.
Now three years later after Nov 2013, this new year the broke up with Y happens.
Samyama truly activated karma release. Everything happening as it should.
Got this from Facebook
Accept what is,
Let go what was, and
Have faith in what will be.
Soul
After the breakthrough I know I will go through personal and romantic relationship fearlessly.
Soul
Sadness is creeping in. But I know I be fine. Mind wanted to go extreme but I m not going there.
The breakthrough I have is too incredible to be overcome by sadness on separation with Y.
Mmm, three years ago after Samyama in nov 2010; the new year in 2011; there was the fearful waiting for Z on my declaration.
Now three years later after Nov 2013, this new year the broke up with Y happens.
Samyama truly activated karma release. Everything happening as it should.
Got this from Facebook
Accept what is,
Let go what was, and
Have faith in what will be.
Soul
After the breakthrough I know I will go through personal and romantic relationship fearlessly.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Awesome Guru Pooja
Jan 28 eve 2
Just did my evening practices it took me about one hour and fifteen minutes.
Guru pooja was awesome. I was so fluent and full of energy and devotion. The dance movement was fluid too.
After guru pooja eyes remain closed; hissing and inhaling of breathe happens. It just stay shut and head was shaking non stop. After that I felt so contented.
After a long while I sat and then proceed to Shoonya.
Father, What a day!
Thanks for the breakthrough.
From now on will be on integrity for all my relationships.
Just now received Y's message saying he can't make it. And asking me to stop missing him, quoting Shiva Shambo.
I just replied Thank you Y. And that's my good bye to him.
He would never know how much he play a role in this breakthrough. I know I don't love him but I m mentally attracted to him. Because of him I finally become fearless in my communication. Again for second time I say my piece and he said his. Real communication from both parties and I finally can move on and with that I deleted his contact.
His role in my life is done and I can truly move on.
I deleted his contact cos I am not sure if my Two of Diamonds will take me back to compulsion. But I m finally ready to let go. No dilemma just acted on it.
Amen.
Just did my evening practices it took me about one hour and fifteen minutes.
Guru pooja was awesome. I was so fluent and full of energy and devotion. The dance movement was fluid too.
After guru pooja eyes remain closed; hissing and inhaling of breathe happens. It just stay shut and head was shaking non stop. After that I felt so contented.
After a long while I sat and then proceed to Shoonya.
Father, What a day!
Thanks for the breakthrough.
From now on will be on integrity for all my relationships.
Just now received Y's message saying he can't make it. And asking me to stop missing him, quoting Shiva Shambo.
I just replied Thank you Y. And that's my good bye to him.
He would never know how much he play a role in this breakthrough. I know I don't love him but I m mentally attracted to him. Because of him I finally become fearless in my communication. Again for second time I say my piece and he said his. Real communication from both parties and I finally can move on and with that I deleted his contact.
His role in my life is done and I can truly move on.
I deleted his contact cos I am not sure if my Two of Diamonds will take me back to compulsion. But I m finally ready to let go. No dilemma just acted on it.
Amen.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
Osho - it is a blessing to fall in love and suffer
Jan 28 aft 1
Cancer in January by Jan Spiller.
January’s second New Moon occurs on the 30th, in the sign of Aquarius. This is a great time to open yourself to new ways of thinking and working with your emotions. You can use this New Moon to set goals involving self acceptance, cultivating the parts of yourself that make you unique and creating space for more authenticity within your close relationships. As you move towards embracing all the aspects of yourself, you can experience a sense of liberation.
Soul
No response from Y and somehow it doesn't matter anymore. Last week I made my peace with him. This week I made peace with myself. Amen.
Coincidentally he has Four of Diamonds in Uranus - unexpected event. He is fixed and I don't expect a change. And him not changing is the reason why I have the opportunity to experience fearlessness over rejection.
My lifetime challenge is on personal and romantic. Personal I have dealt with. And now romantic I finally gone through courageously. Yes, Z and Y issue is not on relationship issue but their mind/plan on relationship. So they failed in their challenges so that I have the opportunity to experience the challenge and to overcome it. Suddenly everything makes sense. Now I know Existence truly loves me. Amen.
Osho
Sexual love felt like an humiliation. In sexual love u start feeling you are losing ur dignity, hence the pain. And then the fulfilment is so momentary; sooner or later any intelligent person will become aware that the satisfaction is only momentary; sooner or later any intelligent person will become aware that the satisfaction is momentary and followed by long nights of pain.
The ecstasy is just like a breeze, it comes and goes and leaves u desertlike state, utterly frustrated, disappointed. U had hope much; many things were promised by the instinctual part of u, and nothing has been delivered.
Soul
Well I still want my partner. I know it won't be easy but that's my path of growth. Nothing will distract me.
Life love and laughter
My approach is not rejecting it but using it. U have to find ways to transform it. U have to make ur love more prayerful, u have to use your sex more lovingly. Slowly slowly sex has to be transformed into a sacred activity, it has to be raised. Rather than sex pulling u down into the mire of animality, u can pull sex upwards.
The same energy that pulls u down can pull u upwards and the same energy can give u wings. Just at it can give birth to a new child into the world, it can give a new birth to u too.
Sex has to become a great meditative art. Slowly and slowly the pain starts disappearing and the energy contained in the pain is released and becomes more and more a benediction. The agony is transformed into ecstasy.
Soul
I m using it to give a new birth to myself as I have no need to perpetuate a new child.
Life love and laughter
You say, "I have fallen in love and suffered much"
You are blessed. The really poor people are those who have never fallen in love and never suffered. They have not lived at all. To fall in love and to suffer in love is good. It is passing through fire, it purifies, it gives u insight, it makes u more alert. This is the challenge to be accepted. Those who don't accept this challenge remains spineless.
Soul
Courageous card always whenever I faced romantic relationship.
Love will not bring u ultimate contentment. It is possible only when u have failed many times, loved and suffered and each suffering has brought u more and more consciousness, more and more understanding. Those who have not loved and suffered never become seekers of God - they cannot; they have not earned that worth, they have not become worthy. It is the sole right of the lover to start searching for the ultimate beloved.
Love, and love more deeply. Suffer and suffer deeply. Love totally and suffer totally, because that's how the impure gold passes through fire and become gold.
Soul
Amen
When I step out of the cafe I looks up to the sky and bow.
When I reached office I just received confirmation on Kailash trip. What a coincidence. I m coming Home. Amen.
Cancer in January by Jan Spiller.
January’s second New Moon occurs on the 30th, in the sign of Aquarius. This is a great time to open yourself to new ways of thinking and working with your emotions. You can use this New Moon to set goals involving self acceptance, cultivating the parts of yourself that make you unique and creating space for more authenticity within your close relationships. As you move towards embracing all the aspects of yourself, you can experience a sense of liberation.
Soul
No response from Y and somehow it doesn't matter anymore. Last week I made my peace with him. This week I made peace with myself. Amen.
Coincidentally he has Four of Diamonds in Uranus - unexpected event. He is fixed and I don't expect a change. And him not changing is the reason why I have the opportunity to experience fearlessness over rejection.
My lifetime challenge is on personal and romantic. Personal I have dealt with. And now romantic I finally gone through courageously. Yes, Z and Y issue is not on relationship issue but their mind/plan on relationship. So they failed in their challenges so that I have the opportunity to experience the challenge and to overcome it. Suddenly everything makes sense. Now I know Existence truly loves me. Amen.
Osho
Sexual love felt like an humiliation. In sexual love u start feeling you are losing ur dignity, hence the pain. And then the fulfilment is so momentary; sooner or later any intelligent person will become aware that the satisfaction is only momentary; sooner or later any intelligent person will become aware that the satisfaction is momentary and followed by long nights of pain.
The ecstasy is just like a breeze, it comes and goes and leaves u desertlike state, utterly frustrated, disappointed. U had hope much; many things were promised by the instinctual part of u, and nothing has been delivered.
Soul
Well I still want my partner. I know it won't be easy but that's my path of growth. Nothing will distract me.
Life love and laughter
My approach is not rejecting it but using it. U have to find ways to transform it. U have to make ur love more prayerful, u have to use your sex more lovingly. Slowly slowly sex has to be transformed into a sacred activity, it has to be raised. Rather than sex pulling u down into the mire of animality, u can pull sex upwards.
The same energy that pulls u down can pull u upwards and the same energy can give u wings. Just at it can give birth to a new child into the world, it can give a new birth to u too.
Sex has to become a great meditative art. Slowly and slowly the pain starts disappearing and the energy contained in the pain is released and becomes more and more a benediction. The agony is transformed into ecstasy.
Soul
I m using it to give a new birth to myself as I have no need to perpetuate a new child.
Life love and laughter
You say, "I have fallen in love and suffered much"
You are blessed. The really poor people are those who have never fallen in love and never suffered. They have not lived at all. To fall in love and to suffer in love is good. It is passing through fire, it purifies, it gives u insight, it makes u more alert. This is the challenge to be accepted. Those who don't accept this challenge remains spineless.
Soul
Courageous card always whenever I faced romantic relationship.
Love will not bring u ultimate contentment. It is possible only when u have failed many times, loved and suffered and each suffering has brought u more and more consciousness, more and more understanding. Those who have not loved and suffered never become seekers of God - they cannot; they have not earned that worth, they have not become worthy. It is the sole right of the lover to start searching for the ultimate beloved.
Love, and love more deeply. Suffer and suffer deeply. Love totally and suffer totally, because that's how the impure gold passes through fire and become gold.
Soul
Amen
When I step out of the cafe I looks up to the sky and bow.
When I reached office I just received confirmation on Kailash trip. What a coincidence. I m coming Home. Amen.
Bhoota Suddhi - the sky is now my shrine
Jan 28 eve 1
I have professional integrity as I m fearless in my communication and action. I set and communicate my professional parameters to my boss and colleagues.
But in personal and romantic I m fearful and hence no personal and romantic integrity. I don't set personal and romantic integrity.
Seven of Hearts is about betrayal in relationships. It is about the lack of integrity with my friends and partners. It was me who is lacking in integrity in my communication. I kept tots which I tot they are not keen to know or I can't share. I was too fearful to share.
Fearlessness leads to integrity.
Fearful leads to betrayal.
Even Y didn't act with integrity when I told him that I have fallen for him. He was fearful of losing me and gave me a confusing answer. Even when I specifically asked for him to be upfront, he couldn't. It is only the next day when I press for more only he revealed that he doesn't want me the way I want him.
With all these tots came when I was looking at the sky. I feel connected to the sky. Suddenly I tot the feeling is as if the sky is like a shrine. When I said that suddenly a wave of energy hits me and tears burst out and I was crying and wailing uncontrollably. Alas I now experienced the Osho tarot card that Existence loves me.
After a long while, tears stop and I start to hiss and blowing breathe and inhaling as if I m with my home shrine. Amen
Pluto in Virgo by Jan Spiller.
Selfless commitment to recognising and exposing ur awareness of the realm of feelings leads you past ur greatest fear and into self mastery.
Soul
Alas self mastery. It is in me. I caused myself to be fearful. Now that fear is gone with my courageousness;
fearlessness is unleashed. This was the true Self Mastery.
Going thru life fearlessly.
I have professional integrity as I m fearless in my communication and action. I set and communicate my professional parameters to my boss and colleagues.
But in personal and romantic I m fearful and hence no personal and romantic integrity. I don't set personal and romantic integrity.
Seven of Hearts is about betrayal in relationships. It is about the lack of integrity with my friends and partners. It was me who is lacking in integrity in my communication. I kept tots which I tot they are not keen to know or I can't share. I was too fearful to share.
Fearlessness leads to integrity.
Fearful leads to betrayal.
Even Y didn't act with integrity when I told him that I have fallen for him. He was fearful of losing me and gave me a confusing answer. Even when I specifically asked for him to be upfront, he couldn't. It is only the next day when I press for more only he revealed that he doesn't want me the way I want him.
With all these tots came when I was looking at the sky. I feel connected to the sky. Suddenly I tot the feeling is as if the sky is like a shrine. When I said that suddenly a wave of energy hits me and tears burst out and I was crying and wailing uncontrollably. Alas I now experienced the Osho tarot card that Existence loves me.
After a long while, tears stop and I start to hiss and blowing breathe and inhaling as if I m with my home shrine. Amen
Pluto in Virgo by Jan Spiller.
Selfless commitment to recognising and exposing ur awareness of the realm of feelings leads you past ur greatest fear and into self mastery.
Soul
Alas self mastery. It is in me. I caused myself to be fearful. Now that fear is gone with my courageousness;
fearlessness is unleashed. This was the true Self Mastery.
Going thru life fearlessly.
Pluto in Virgo - path to self mastery
Jan 28 eve
Got all this from the journal written back in Jan 18
Sadhguru
Mind cannot be aware. It is the mind that keeps u unaware. It is only the activity of the mind that keeps u unaware.
If u moving into awareness, u explode into the wonder of the existence. If u move into the mind, u move into the discretion of splitting the world into little pieces.
Soul
Amen
Spiritual astrology by Jan Spiller
Pluto in Virgo in 4th house
Fearlessness and charisma results when u go beyond ur greatest fears, surrendering to ur sensitivity. In revealing what u are feeling - in spite of fearing the consequences - u undergo a transformation of feelings. This allows a truer alignment with ur deepest sensitivities.
In sharing response and deep perception of others feelings, u may experience a temporary invalidation from those who are closest. A purge of both ur insecurities and theirs can follow.
Pluto in Virgo in 4th house
Path to self mastery
Ceasing to control others's feelings to protect ur own vulnerability frees u to operate from a stable position. This vantage empowers u to express and share from the integrity of ur deepest sensitivities. Selfless commitment to recognising and exposing ur awareness of the realm of feelings leads you past ur greatest fear and into self mastery.
The environment in which u meet the challenge for personal transformation : Home and family.
Soul
Amen
Thats my word today..I can only say that...
Suddenly everything falls into place.
Suddenly I knew that whatever I tot was bad/unlucky/suffering was actually for my greater good.
Amen
Got all this from the journal written back in Jan 18
Sadhguru
Mind cannot be aware. It is the mind that keeps u unaware. It is only the activity of the mind that keeps u unaware.
If u moving into awareness, u explode into the wonder of the existence. If u move into the mind, u move into the discretion of splitting the world into little pieces.
Soul
Amen
Spiritual astrology by Jan Spiller
Pluto in Virgo in 4th house
Fearlessness and charisma results when u go beyond ur greatest fears, surrendering to ur sensitivity. In revealing what u are feeling - in spite of fearing the consequences - u undergo a transformation of feelings. This allows a truer alignment with ur deepest sensitivities.
In sharing response and deep perception of others feelings, u may experience a temporary invalidation from those who are closest. A purge of both ur insecurities and theirs can follow.
Pluto in Virgo in 4th house
Path to self mastery
Ceasing to control others's feelings to protect ur own vulnerability frees u to operate from a stable position. This vantage empowers u to express and share from the integrity of ur deepest sensitivities. Selfless commitment to recognising and exposing ur awareness of the realm of feelings leads you past ur greatest fear and into self mastery.
The environment in which u meet the challenge for personal transformation : Home and family.
Soul
Amen
Thats my word today..I can only say that...
Suddenly everything falls into place.
Suddenly I knew that whatever I tot was bad/unlucky/suffering was actually for my greater good.
Amen
Osho - in finding I, bliss is attained
Jan 28 aft
Got this from a reader reading my blog. This post was back in Oct 2010.
Osho
Find out your Self; what it is? Where it is? Who it is?
And as you search for it, you will be surprised to find that this I does not exist. It was an absolutely false notion. It was your imagination I exists, it was an illusions that you were nourishing.
And the day you come to know that there is no I inside you, you have come to know the whole, that which really is - the being, the existence, the divine.
Explore love from this dimension. This exploration will begin with the ego and it will end with the attainment of love. The man who sets out on this exploration not only will find an I but he will also attain to the divine.
Someone who is tied to the stake of the I is not able to undertake the journey into the ocean of the divine.
I is the first thing is a person's life and I is the last.
The person tied up in the I experiences pain, and after becoming free of I, he attains to bliss.
There is no story, no tale except I
There is no dream except I.
There is no lie except I.
Find this I, and the doors to bliss can open.
If the rock of the I is shattered, the springs of love will start flowing.
Then the heart will fill with music of love.
When the heart is fill with love, a new journey starts which is difficult to describe in words. That journey will take you to the very certain of life.
I hope and prayed to God that everybody will be blessed enough to attain to love, that everybody will be blessed enough to get rid of the disease of I, that everybody will be blessed enough to find that which is already within them.
My Daily Card
The Three of Clubs
The Three of Clubs is the card of mental creativity, so much so that it is called the 'Writer's Card'. On the other hand, it can be the card of worry and indecision and mental stress. Whenever this card appears in your reading, you will have an opportunity to either get the benefits of heightened creativity of mind, or suffer the liability of more stress and indecision.
Use this influence for writing, either personally or professionally. Express yourself to all you meet and you will reap positive rewards.
Got this from a reader reading my blog. This post was back in Oct 2010.
Osho
Find out your Self; what it is? Where it is? Who it is?
And as you search for it, you will be surprised to find that this I does not exist. It was an absolutely false notion. It was your imagination I exists, it was an illusions that you were nourishing.
And the day you come to know that there is no I inside you, you have come to know the whole, that which really is - the being, the existence, the divine.
Explore love from this dimension. This exploration will begin with the ego and it will end with the attainment of love. The man who sets out on this exploration not only will find an I but he will also attain to the divine.
Someone who is tied to the stake of the I is not able to undertake the journey into the ocean of the divine.
I is the first thing is a person's life and I is the last.
The person tied up in the I experiences pain, and after becoming free of I, he attains to bliss.
There is no story, no tale except I
There is no dream except I.
There is no lie except I.
Find this I, and the doors to bliss can open.
If the rock of the I is shattered, the springs of love will start flowing.
Then the heart will fill with music of love.
When the heart is fill with love, a new journey starts which is difficult to describe in words. That journey will take you to the very certain of life.
I hope and prayed to God that everybody will be blessed enough to attain to love, that everybody will be blessed enough to get rid of the disease of I, that everybody will be blessed enough to find that which is already within them.
My Daily Card
The Three of Clubs
The Three of Clubs is the card of mental creativity, so much so that it is called the 'Writer's Card'. On the other hand, it can be the card of worry and indecision and mental stress. Whenever this card appears in your reading, you will have an opportunity to either get the benefits of heightened creativity of mind, or suffer the liability of more stress and indecision.
Use this influence for writing, either personally or professionally. Express yourself to all you meet and you will reap positive rewards.
Venus - Ace of Spades (Breakthrough)
Jan 28 mor
Life love and laughter
I can teach u meditation and out of meditation a different quality of love will happen. Then it is not fooling around. Then it is wisdom, not foolishness.
Soul
For the first time with rejection I did rise in love. I didn't let their response dictates my action. I just be. I m no longer afraid to be rejected. I m no longer afraid to be sad as I know tears will dissolve the sadness.
Father, could this be it. Finally overcome Seven of Hearts.
This year card in Destiny.
Venus - Ace of Spades
(This card holds the promise of spiritual resolutions to some of ur mundane problem. This a process of death and rebirth. U will experience and ending and a beginning
Life love and laughter.
Then u don't fall in love, u rise in love.
Then love is a quality to u. Just as light surrounds a flame, love surrounds u. U are loving. U are love. Then it has eternity.
Whosoever come close to u will drink out of if. Whosoever comes close to u will be enchanted by it, enriched by it. A tree, a rock, a person, an animal.
Even if u are sitting alone ...
Suddenly I realised thats why Z and Y is in my face after their rejection of me.
This is for me to face the rejection squarely. My greatest fear was rejection and the sadness.
The Samurai game taught me that it is okay to lose, it is okay to die...and we are not really dead..
When I can face rejection squarely by allowing them in my space; I am letting them be..not wanting me as a lover but only as a friend.
I finally realised Seven of Hearts - unconditional love.
Just checked my Osho tarot card today.
Awareness
"Mind can never be intelligent – only no-mind is intelligent. Only no-mind is original and radical. Only no-mind is revolutionary – revolution in action. This mind gives you a sort of stupor. Burdened by memories of the past, burdened by projections of the future, you go on living – at the minimum. You don't live at the maximum.
The veil of illusion, or maya, that has been keeping you from perceiving reality as it is, is starting to burn away. The fire is not the heated fire of passion, but the cool flame of awareness. As it burns the veil, the face of a very delicate and childlike buddha becomes visible. The awareness that is growing in you now is not the result of any conscious "doing," nor do you need to struggle to make something happen. Any sense you might have had that you've been groping in the dark is dissolving now, or will be dissolving soon. Let yourself settle, and remember that deep inside you are just a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged. A channel is now opening from the circumference of activity to that center of witnessing. It will help you to become detached, and a new awareness will lift the veil from your eyes.
Soul
So true...finally can see why I have to face rejection in the face..
It is not to make me suffer..it is to make me aware
Finally...amen..
Mmm, this was the Breakthrough
Life love and laughter
I can teach u meditation and out of meditation a different quality of love will happen. Then it is not fooling around. Then it is wisdom, not foolishness.
Soul
For the first time with rejection I did rise in love. I didn't let their response dictates my action. I just be. I m no longer afraid to be rejected. I m no longer afraid to be sad as I know tears will dissolve the sadness.
Father, could this be it. Finally overcome Seven of Hearts.
This year card in Destiny.
Venus - Ace of Spades
(This card holds the promise of spiritual resolutions to some of ur mundane problem. This a process of death and rebirth. U will experience and ending and a beginning
Life love and laughter.
Then u don't fall in love, u rise in love.
Then love is a quality to u. Just as light surrounds a flame, love surrounds u. U are loving. U are love. Then it has eternity.
Whosoever come close to u will drink out of if. Whosoever comes close to u will be enchanted by it, enriched by it. A tree, a rock, a person, an animal.
Even if u are sitting alone ...
Suddenly I realised thats why Z and Y is in my face after their rejection of me.
This is for me to face the rejection squarely. My greatest fear was rejection and the sadness.
The Samurai game taught me that it is okay to lose, it is okay to die...and we are not really dead..
When I can face rejection squarely by allowing them in my space; I am letting them be..not wanting me as a lover but only as a friend.
I finally realised Seven of Hearts - unconditional love.
Just checked my Osho tarot card today.
Awareness
"Mind can never be intelligent – only no-mind is intelligent. Only no-mind is original and radical. Only no-mind is revolutionary – revolution in action. This mind gives you a sort of stupor. Burdened by memories of the past, burdened by projections of the future, you go on living – at the minimum. You don't live at the maximum.
The veil of illusion, or maya, that has been keeping you from perceiving reality as it is, is starting to burn away. The fire is not the heated fire of passion, but the cool flame of awareness. As it burns the veil, the face of a very delicate and childlike buddha becomes visible. The awareness that is growing in you now is not the result of any conscious "doing," nor do you need to struggle to make something happen. Any sense you might have had that you've been groping in the dark is dissolving now, or will be dissolving soon. Let yourself settle, and remember that deep inside you are just a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged. A channel is now opening from the circumference of activity to that center of witnessing. It will help you to become detached, and a new awareness will lift the veil from your eyes.
Soul
So true...finally can see why I have to face rejection in the face..
It is not to make me suffer..it is to make me aware
Finally...amen..
Mmm, this was the Breakthrough
Breakthrough - learning to say mind eventhough I am afraid
Jan 28
Woke up 4.50 am cos watch movie till 11.40 pm followed by a short meditation in front of my shrine. Once I sit, I am in.
Did Bhoota Suddhi. Watch the sky. Nice. Sang guru pooja. Did one yoga Namaskara and one surya kriya followed by asanas. Quite okay for all. Breathing was nice.
Shakti was good and Shambavi too. Towards the end sat in arashidharna posture silently and contently. Just so nice. Sitting there. I say for quite a while. Would prefer to stay longer but working day.
Father, I am confused. I m confused if my gesture of including Y into my social circle is out of me clinging to him or out of kindness. I m more worried of the former. If the former, then I m not sincere and I am still clinging. And worse still is that it would take longer to move on and prolong the unrequited love.
Do I love him? I wonder. I did the declaration cos I know I m attracted to him. But love I don't think so.
Father, what I feared is that I m not in control. To move on, maybe best to delete his contact just like I did Z. But with Z, once I got over him I don't miss him. With Y I will miss.
Anyway, just messaged him la.
I told him that I will miss him when he is gone cos not everyday u meet someone u click. Also invited him to my house.
This day just be direct. Actually without the mind, just go with the flow. There is no dilemma. Of course there is pain and pleasure at the end as every action has consequences but there is no dilemma; no over working mind.
Father, these days I m not as willing to debate with my mind. Mmm, something just came to me. The time taken to deliberate our decision to take action is much much more than time to just do it. And after doing it, just face it. And these days I m not afraid of dying; of facing rejection or etc. These days I just go for it. Mmm life is to live; to just do it instead of to think, to deliberate to avoid loss; loss of pride, loss of money and etc.
Y and mine composite
1. Y in my second house
He bring me wealth and confidence
He is here to enhance my freedom in terms of my personal and financial strength and to make sure I know I can survive on my own.
He is here to make me see my unique talents and help me to become more aware of my value to others and to reap the rewards myself.
Y's purpose in my life is to be a conduit to a higher level of awareness than I would be able to reach without Y's influence. Y encourage me to take risks and grow.
He need me to tell him directly what I need. Focus on what I need from him rather than his behaviour.
To bring out the best in them, stay away from their personal business and psychology and allow them to focus on ur needs.
Soul
I just follow these la. Such irony. He rejected me but I have grown more confidence despite his rejection. I can just tell him how I feel without fear. At the most he avoid me and I won't die.
Father, I m truly learning to express myself. But I still have not able to hold still and wait. After I msg I normally delete it so not as to keep any reminder.
Yes, he just avoid me. Mmm, we both got Pluto challenge of Two of Hearts.
Tot of Y and Z. Both issue on Five of Clubs. Difficult for them to change their mind and I seems to be the catalyst of change. With Z, he face Pluto Five of Clubs and Results Queen of Diamonds but he couldn't or didn't want to overcome his plan of having traditional marriage with children. With Y, he face issue in communication as he alters been a loner and the easiest for him is to be alone. While he is good in professional communication, he is not great in personal. Yes, that's me too.
Woke up 4.50 am cos watch movie till 11.40 pm followed by a short meditation in front of my shrine. Once I sit, I am in.
Did Bhoota Suddhi. Watch the sky. Nice. Sang guru pooja. Did one yoga Namaskara and one surya kriya followed by asanas. Quite okay for all. Breathing was nice.
Shakti was good and Shambavi too. Towards the end sat in arashidharna posture silently and contently. Just so nice. Sitting there. I say for quite a while. Would prefer to stay longer but working day.
Father, I am confused. I m confused if my gesture of including Y into my social circle is out of me clinging to him or out of kindness. I m more worried of the former. If the former, then I m not sincere and I am still clinging. And worse still is that it would take longer to move on and prolong the unrequited love.
Do I love him? I wonder. I did the declaration cos I know I m attracted to him. But love I don't think so.
Father, what I feared is that I m not in control. To move on, maybe best to delete his contact just like I did Z. But with Z, once I got over him I don't miss him. With Y I will miss.
Anyway, just messaged him la.
I told him that I will miss him when he is gone cos not everyday u meet someone u click. Also invited him to my house.
This day just be direct. Actually without the mind, just go with the flow. There is no dilemma. Of course there is pain and pleasure at the end as every action has consequences but there is no dilemma; no over working mind.
Father, these days I m not as willing to debate with my mind. Mmm, something just came to me. The time taken to deliberate our decision to take action is much much more than time to just do it. And after doing it, just face it. And these days I m not afraid of dying; of facing rejection or etc. These days I just go for it. Mmm life is to live; to just do it instead of to think, to deliberate to avoid loss; loss of pride, loss of money and etc.
Y and mine composite
1. Y in my second house
He bring me wealth and confidence
He is here to enhance my freedom in terms of my personal and financial strength and to make sure I know I can survive on my own.
He is here to make me see my unique talents and help me to become more aware of my value to others and to reap the rewards myself.
Y's purpose in my life is to be a conduit to a higher level of awareness than I would be able to reach without Y's influence. Y encourage me to take risks and grow.
He need me to tell him directly what I need. Focus on what I need from him rather than his behaviour.
To bring out the best in them, stay away from their personal business and psychology and allow them to focus on ur needs.
Soul
I just follow these la. Such irony. He rejected me but I have grown more confidence despite his rejection. I can just tell him how I feel without fear. At the most he avoid me and I won't die.
Father, I m truly learning to express myself. But I still have not able to hold still and wait. After I msg I normally delete it so not as to keep any reminder.
Yes, he just avoid me. Mmm, we both got Pluto challenge of Two of Hearts.
Tot of Y and Z. Both issue on Five of Clubs. Difficult for them to change their mind and I seems to be the catalyst of change. With Z, he face Pluto Five of Clubs and Results Queen of Diamonds but he couldn't or didn't want to overcome his plan of having traditional marriage with children. With Y, he face issue in communication as he alters been a loner and the easiest for him is to be alone. While he is good in professional communication, he is not great in personal. Yes, that's me too.
Osho - Breakthrough
Jan 27 morn
Mercury
My Daily Card
The Five of Hearts
The Five of Hearts speaks of changes and restlessness in your heart which can manifest in many ways. At the deepest level, you will probably be feeling a dissatisfaction with your current relationship or home situation and desire some sort of change.
When this card appears there is always the chance of a separation or divorce with someone you love, but there is an equal possibility that you will be taking a trip or moving to a new home. The highest manifestation of this card is that of going out and meeting new people, telling others about what you are doing and who you are. You can make important contacts when this card is around.
Soul
Me feeling restless about the way I am looking for love...
This week card is real scary.
1. Issue - Mind
2. Internal influences - Thunderbolt
3. External Influences - The Miser
4. What is needed for Resolution - Suppression
5. Resolution - Breakthrough
Today's card
Breakthrough
It is the greatest adventure in life to go through a breakdown consciously. It is the greatest risk because there is no guarantee that the breakdown will become a breakthrough. It does become, but these things cannot be guaranteed. Your chaos is very ancient – for many, many lives you have been in chaos. It is thick and dense. It is almost a universe in itself. So when you enter into it with your small capacity, of course there is danger. But without facing this danger nobody has ever become integrated, nobody has ever become an individual, indivisible. Zen, or meditation, is the method which will help you to go through the chaos, through the dark night of the soul, balanced, disciplined, alert. The dawn is not far away, but before you can reach the dawn, the dark night has to be passed through. And as the dawn comes closer, the night will become darker." Osho
The predominance of red in this card indicates at a glance that its subject is energy, power and strength. The brilliant glow emanates from the solar plexus, or center of power on the figure, and the posture is one of exuberance and determination. All of us occasionally reach a point when "enough is enough." At such times it seems we must do something, anything, even if it later turns out to be a mistake, to throw off the burdens and restrictions that are limiting us. If we don't, they threaten to suffocate and cripple our very life energy itself. If you are now feeling that "enough is enough," allow yourself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept your energy from flowing. In doing so you will be amazed at the vitality and empowerment this breakthrough can bring to your life.
Soul
Not sure what is this...but don't think I got the courage to explore. Already got knocked down a few times with Y.
Mercury
My Daily Card
The Five of Hearts
The Five of Hearts speaks of changes and restlessness in your heart which can manifest in many ways. At the deepest level, you will probably be feeling a dissatisfaction with your current relationship or home situation and desire some sort of change.
When this card appears there is always the chance of a separation or divorce with someone you love, but there is an equal possibility that you will be taking a trip or moving to a new home. The highest manifestation of this card is that of going out and meeting new people, telling others about what you are doing and who you are. You can make important contacts when this card is around.
Soul
Me feeling restless about the way I am looking for love...
This week card is real scary.
1. Issue - Mind
2. Internal influences - Thunderbolt
3. External Influences - The Miser
4. What is needed for Resolution - Suppression
5. Resolution - Breakthrough
Today's card
Breakthrough
It is the greatest adventure in life to go through a breakdown consciously. It is the greatest risk because there is no guarantee that the breakdown will become a breakthrough. It does become, but these things cannot be guaranteed. Your chaos is very ancient – for many, many lives you have been in chaos. It is thick and dense. It is almost a universe in itself. So when you enter into it with your small capacity, of course there is danger. But without facing this danger nobody has ever become integrated, nobody has ever become an individual, indivisible. Zen, or meditation, is the method which will help you to go through the chaos, through the dark night of the soul, balanced, disciplined, alert. The dawn is not far away, but before you can reach the dawn, the dark night has to be passed through. And as the dawn comes closer, the night will become darker." Osho
The predominance of red in this card indicates at a glance that its subject is energy, power and strength. The brilliant glow emanates from the solar plexus, or center of power on the figure, and the posture is one of exuberance and determination. All of us occasionally reach a point when "enough is enough." At such times it seems we must do something, anything, even if it later turns out to be a mistake, to throw off the burdens and restrictions that are limiting us. If we don't, they threaten to suffocate and cripple our very life energy itself. If you are now feeling that "enough is enough," allow yourself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept your energy from flowing. In doing so you will be amazed at the vitality and empowerment this breakthrough can bring to your life.
Soul
Not sure what is this...but don't think I got the courage to explore. Already got knocked down a few times with Y.
Friday, February 7, 2014
Osho - love is the fragance of meditation
Jan 27
Woke up with this tot.
Suddenly tot of similarity between Y and Z
Both also keep themselves busy so they won't have time for intimacy. Y changed work into sadhana. Z changed work into family - children.
Why me? Why am I attracted to both North node and South node in Leo.
I know I got Venus in Leo. Leo's is about fire. Father, I m tired. What I know its that Y and I are complete.
While I was driving a tot came on my life time challenge of Seven of Hearts. How to transform it to the highest.
My first Bhoota Suddhi this morning. The last five minutes I was in meditation.
Feels more awake for guru pooja. Somehow can sing better.
Did 3 cycles of yoga Namaskara and 3 cycles of Surya kriya. Both also okay.
Breathing was okay but didn't sat for long. Shakti was good. Not sure but Kapala Bhakti was heaty. Not sure if this is from the balancing effect. Others used to tell me Kapala Bhakti is heaty but I never felt it. Towards the end a giggle escaped and singing came in. Shambavi was good too.
Father. Everything we do is an escape. I can see both Y and Z escaping from relationship, from intimacy. What am I escaping from? One thing I knew is that I haven't been writing for the past 3 months. Somehow reading Rebellesociety, Jeff Fosters and Matt Licata; makes me feel my writing is juvenile. Not comparable. So am I escaping using my drive for relationship.
I know I want my partner. But this path is real tough. Why can't relationship come easy to me, like others. Why I keep on with guys who are not ready; who want to escape relationship. I know they both want me but somehow I m not right for them logically.
Father, I m tired. Guide me.
Life love and laughter
Take hold of ur own life. See that whole existence is celebrating. These trees are not serious, these birds are not serious. Everywhere is fun, everywhere there is joy and delight.
Love cannot exist with a serious mind. With a serious mind, logic is in tune. Be non serious. Be sincere but non serious. Be sincere with existence, then you will be true, u will become part of this cosmic Leela; this cosmic play.
Logic belongs to the past; love belongs to the future. Logic is just moving in the old circle again and again. Love moves into new territory. Being yourself is never static, being in love is also never static. It is always ecstatic - not static but ecstatic; out of stasis, out of standing still.
Be moving. One never arrives, though always arriving.
Soul
I said I m tired. When will the Seven of Hearts stops.
But ur message says continue. This reminds me of the Courage card.
Life love and laughter
Question
There exists deep in myself a yearning for the permanency of love.
Answer
When ur love begins; it begins at a certain moment in time. Then it is bound to end. Yes, it can end sooner or later. If it ends quickly u call it momentary; if it takes a little longer time to end, u call it permanent.
But permanency also not going to fulfill the heart, because the heart longs for that which does not end at all, which is forever. It is the longing for God. God is another name for eternal love.
The heart says eternity and the mind interprets permanency. The yearning of the heart is for a vertical dimension; that is the dimension of meditation. Mind lives horizontally; hence the mystics of all sages have realised the fact that mind and time are not two different things; mind is time.
Mind cannot live vertically, mind lives in the past, in the future. So all that u are aware is of the past which is no more and the future which is not yet. U live between two non existential things.
My suggestion is that if you are really ready to fulfill the longing of the heart, then forget about love. First go into meditation, because love will come out of meditation. Love is the fragrance of meditation. Let it open. Then it its eternal. Then it is not directed to anybody in particular; it cannot be directed to anybody in particular. It is not a relationship; it is more a quality that surround u. It has nothin to do with the other. U are loving, u are love - then it is eternal. It is ur fragrance.
Soul
Mmm.
Woke up with this tot.
Suddenly tot of similarity between Y and Z
Both also keep themselves busy so they won't have time for intimacy. Y changed work into sadhana. Z changed work into family - children.
Why me? Why am I attracted to both North node and South node in Leo.
I know I got Venus in Leo. Leo's is about fire. Father, I m tired. What I know its that Y and I are complete.
While I was driving a tot came on my life time challenge of Seven of Hearts. How to transform it to the highest.
My first Bhoota Suddhi this morning. The last five minutes I was in meditation.
Feels more awake for guru pooja. Somehow can sing better.
Did 3 cycles of yoga Namaskara and 3 cycles of Surya kriya. Both also okay.
Breathing was okay but didn't sat for long. Shakti was good. Not sure but Kapala Bhakti was heaty. Not sure if this is from the balancing effect. Others used to tell me Kapala Bhakti is heaty but I never felt it. Towards the end a giggle escaped and singing came in. Shambavi was good too.
Father. Everything we do is an escape. I can see both Y and Z escaping from relationship, from intimacy. What am I escaping from? One thing I knew is that I haven't been writing for the past 3 months. Somehow reading Rebellesociety, Jeff Fosters and Matt Licata; makes me feel my writing is juvenile. Not comparable. So am I escaping using my drive for relationship.
I know I want my partner. But this path is real tough. Why can't relationship come easy to me, like others. Why I keep on with guys who are not ready; who want to escape relationship. I know they both want me but somehow I m not right for them logically.
Father, I m tired. Guide me.
Life love and laughter
Take hold of ur own life. See that whole existence is celebrating. These trees are not serious, these birds are not serious. Everywhere is fun, everywhere there is joy and delight.
Love cannot exist with a serious mind. With a serious mind, logic is in tune. Be non serious. Be sincere but non serious. Be sincere with existence, then you will be true, u will become part of this cosmic Leela; this cosmic play.
Logic belongs to the past; love belongs to the future. Logic is just moving in the old circle again and again. Love moves into new territory. Being yourself is never static, being in love is also never static. It is always ecstatic - not static but ecstatic; out of stasis, out of standing still.
Be moving. One never arrives, though always arriving.
Soul
I said I m tired. When will the Seven of Hearts stops.
But ur message says continue. This reminds me of the Courage card.
Life love and laughter
Question
There exists deep in myself a yearning for the permanency of love.
Answer
When ur love begins; it begins at a certain moment in time. Then it is bound to end. Yes, it can end sooner or later. If it ends quickly u call it momentary; if it takes a little longer time to end, u call it permanent.
But permanency also not going to fulfill the heart, because the heart longs for that which does not end at all, which is forever. It is the longing for God. God is another name for eternal love.
The heart says eternity and the mind interprets permanency. The yearning of the heart is for a vertical dimension; that is the dimension of meditation. Mind lives horizontally; hence the mystics of all sages have realised the fact that mind and time are not two different things; mind is time.
Mind cannot live vertically, mind lives in the past, in the future. So all that u are aware is of the past which is no more and the future which is not yet. U live between two non existential things.
My suggestion is that if you are really ready to fulfill the longing of the heart, then forget about love. First go into meditation, because love will come out of meditation. Love is the fragrance of meditation. Let it open. Then it its eternal. Then it is not directed to anybody in particular; it cannot be directed to anybody in particular. It is not a relationship; it is more a quality that surround u. It has nothin to do with the other. U are loving, u are love - then it is eternal. It is ur fragrance.
Soul
Mmm.
No longer afraid of validation..Y truly increase my self confidence
Jan 26 eve
I finally understand the saying inside same as outside. Today I wanted to buy the cake for him, some dilemma cos not sure if my offer is not welcomed and I bought for him anyway. Then later I tot of giving him a ride; had some dilemma and later I offer anyway.
I tot Y didn't want to pick my call and so I msg him that since no reply I be off then.
He called me fifteen minutes later explaining that he was in shower.
When I walked in, I feel the energy and immediately start to laugh. Quite an amazing Bhutta Suddhi. Initiation was great. Chanting good too. Laughing loads and clapping loads. Feel sweet thereafter. Just some tears of gratitude towards the end.
Yes, on Y, that's the completion card.
Father, I am alone again. But now I feel sweet after Bhoota.
I finally understand the saying inside same as outside. Today I wanted to buy the cake for him, some dilemma cos not sure if my offer is not welcomed and I bought for him anyway. Then later I tot of giving him a ride; had some dilemma and later I offer anyway.
I tot Y didn't want to pick my call and so I msg him that since no reply I be off then.
He called me fifteen minutes later explaining that he was in shower.
When I walked in, I feel the energy and immediately start to laugh. Quite an amazing Bhutta Suddhi. Initiation was great. Chanting good too. Laughing loads and clapping loads. Feel sweet thereafter. Just some tears of gratitude towards the end.
Yes, on Y, that's the completion card.
Father, I am alone again. But now I feel sweet after Bhoota.
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