Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Feeling down

Dec 29
Father, yday n today very little laughter during meditation. And I find myself approaching it wit discipline. But it is still welcoming.
Thanks for sending the FD. Little did I know I wld get to know abt oversea's colleague's courage n FD's taking life coach course. She has a 5 diamond wit a 7 diamond, good for biz n she also has a control feature like me. But she is very determined. While m not determine, I hav perserverance.

Bhagavad Gita
Positive:/masculine - reason
Negative/feminine consist of feeling - love, symphaty, kindness, mercy and joy
In the ideal being, these 2 aspect are perfectly balances.
If reason lack feeling, it becomes calculating, harsh, judgemental and if feeling lacks reason it becomes blind emotion
(Soul - no wonder 1 hour of surka kriya)

The devotee, following the path of meditation in hope of complete emancipation, realises that he has to destroy his material tendencies becos they militate against the pursuance of the superior soul pleasures.
But becos of his long familial relationship wit these tendencies, he becomes dejected at the prospect and is spoken of as feeling symphatetic toward these dear psychological relatives
(Soul - I wld say that I hav these since d day I found abt samyama. Now that the day is near, no longer so afraid. As for ego reluctant for meditation. I can't say m joyfil but I will continue becos its d course I hav to take due to my career change. So, I will preservere.)

Bhagavad Gita
What mortal does not feel this tender compassion for self? After all, "That's mej that's the way I am"
Its good to feel good abt the good in one's self, but it is bad to feel bad for the bad that shld be destroyed.
(Soul - I have long ago don take myself too seriously. Then when I know my mind is shitty, m even discriminating on its tots. As for what's me - m exploring. So, even d gourmet self, I m willing to let go for my Samyama.
Father, destroyin my bad self, don't think m ready et. To me, I jus plan to let it voice its tot, but I won't follow. Now that will take loads of self-control n awareness. )

Bhagavad Gita
The metaphysical reason for self-control is nothing but spiritual business proposition calculated to bring the greatest happiness to man. Jus as one must invest a certain sum of money in order to reap a greater, so the devotee forgoes indulgence in materialistic pleasures for the sake of gaining the pure joy of Spirit found in meditation.
Therefore self-control is not self-torture, but leads to soul happiness.
Soul i- m not sure abt that. Can't I hav both.

Bhagavad Gita
The beginning yogi, in the intial stages of soul contact is eager, happy and satisfied.
With further progressn he finds that the sense desires are diehard inmates of his life; he begins to wonder, even in the midt of divine realisations, if he has been wise in his decision to kill material joys for the sake of gaining spiritual happiness.
In such confusion + devotee tries to split his allegiance - giving half his attention to the body and its sense enjoyment and half to the inner assembly of soul joys.
The result of these half measures is that the devotee's limb of will power becomes paralysed by the disease of latent sense attachment.
He feels a dying-away of the finer intutive spiritual perceptions; the taste for material habits is like a fire, dries up the tast for the subtle spiritual perceptions.

Soul - I think d is d same msg by Sadhgure. And that's how I feel for past 2 days. I seem unable to connect wit Universe. I m wonderin if this is worthwhile. The only thing now is I can't give up n aslo my career change requires for me to conquer, so I can then guide people. If I don't do it, who can? Can I - Yes, with self control at full force.
First thing, from 4 Jan wil be strict veg. Cannot come here.
One thing I know for sure, You are behind me every step of d way. How u know I be facing this period of dry spell? I myself, can't even imagine n m still shocked that it can happen after all d joy I have expereinced. Even hatta yago also dry, Why??

Bhagavad Gita
Just as physical fear causes the hair to stand on end, so mental nervousness at the prospect of losing sense enjoyment causes the devotee's tot and his hairlike nerve energies to flow like stream away from soul happiness toward the region of the senses.
During this period of dubiounsess, the devotee find that the astral perceptions of the spine begin to fade away.
It feels instead a dreary loneliness and beholds a mental desert created by the renunciation of material joys.

Soul - that's how I feel exactly. TQ, for explaining to me. I lknow U will guide me through this.

Bhagavad Gita
When tiling the ground for cultivating crops, the lush growth of useless weeds must first be destroyed. Their disappearance causes the ground to look barren, until the time arrives for the invisible potential within the seeds to sprout up into plants and yield a goodly harvest!
The field of consciousness is similarly overgrown with weeds of meaningless sesnes pleasures - habits which, in the beginning difficult to forsake.
In this pitiable state of momentary bleakness, the devotee must cast away all feelings of doubt and despair and have faith that after the field of consciousness has been well sown with the seed of deep meditation, they wil produce the mystic trees of Omnipresence, bearing fruits of undying happiness.
It is not the the long established sense "upstart" in the bodily kingdom that the devotee owes his loyalty, but to the long-banished soul perceptions.

Soul - Father, thank u for guiding me. I admit my doubt arise but I hav faith in u. I long ago said that I want to release all that is hidden within me. All my subconsciousness, which I tot was either bad habits n then I found out abt its hidden unfulfilled longings. And now alas, d soul is also hidden. So, m still on d same path. This is the final door. Amen.

7thunder - King of diamond
A strong sense of values which has made u the success u r now.
U r ready to start ur own biz n it promises great success if u do.

My passion translate into a chaneg of Career for me

Dec 28
Today, didn't feel like doing meditation. I was surprised. Why? Then I recall d Bhagavad Gita. Ego gets strong whenever m goin to the next level. Thank God for samyama. Or perhaps too many days holiday n I ddint hav to wake up early. Anyway, did suria namaskara and shakti n followed by surka kriya. I think I jus barely touch d connection wit Universe, but at least I preservere.
Saw a gal reading Mitch. There is a market for my Self Help book. Look at this way, I faced my demotivation period.
This mornin while meditation, a tot came to me, if past lives, I marry for money n didn't believe in love. This life I hav to make money on my own n have to create love on my own too. And once created, it become real love.

Bhagavad Gita
A person is born wit either a spiritual or a material ego predominating, according to his actions in past.
The psychological unlces are the intoxicating delusion-creating tendencies of attachment to the senses, to material objects, and so forth; and false pride, with its narrow mindedness that tries to disuade the devotee from giving up social position, and from bearing criticism from others for 'foolishly' following the path to God. Such 'uncles' are almost fatherly in their power because they wield vast control over the human consciousness.

Soul - tell me abt it. I can't say m following path to God. I am jus following my Passion n its jus happens to be God-related. Me quitting n then doing part time, loss of excess income especially since I don't have to pay d bank back. Can use money for reno n etc, I guess this material. Anyway, becos I m not gift related, so its ok. But I faced criticism from outside cos my Passion is viewed as whimsical. Anyway, I hav already brushed off my aunt n mom on their objections.

Bhagavad Gita
Until one is WHOLLY under the influence of the independent wisdom of the soul, almost all that he is and does is a result of habit, or conditioning.
If one is bound my ego, conditioned to respond in a materialistic way to his senses, if his tots n action are under compulsion (reaction), his will is bound by karma.
The aspiring devotee reconditions his consciousness with the cultivation of spiritual qualities until these predominate as his natural habits, the aggregate of his nature. The good habits, having then fulfilled their purpose, willingly surrender their rights to the wisdom reign of the soul.

Soul - the good thing is d resistant tots comes in slow motion n d motivating tot also follow n hence I can exercise my free will to act instead of react. So, instead of judging myself still hav resistant after coming this far. At least give myself a pat on my back for able slow down my wheel of tots to enable free will to be actiioned upon.

And this is the base of self-transformation. Without d mind tots slowing down, free will can't be activated. Without free will, we will be in reaction/auto mode doing old habits/conditioning (old personality) n hence no transformation (new personality)
Father, I do hav the attributes of Self-Help Guru. I am able to decipher old words of wisdom n experience n translate it to layman.

Bhagavad Gita
Meditation is the inner war drum that rouses these good and bad habits from a long slumber of indifference and make each side willing to increase its forces in order to obtain full victory over a man's consciousnness.
When one is passively under the influence of bad habits - his materialistic nature - he does not find any noticeable resistance from his innate good habits - his soul qualities.
It is only when the devotee actively tries to cultivate good habits - concentration, calmness, peace - and marches them as soldiers toward the kingdom of soul, that fierce resistance is stirred up from bad habits - ficklessness, restlessness, disquitude.
The enthusiastic spiritual beginner, in the heat of his zeal, does not realise the power of resistance possessed by bad habits. Nor do the bad habits notice, at first, the silent invasion of good habits. It is only when the devotee "means business" and makes repeated struggles to establish the generals of good habits in the kingdom of consciousness that the general of bad habits become alarmed and make furious attempts to outs the "intruders".
Thus it was wit Arjuna (self-control of the devotee). After he had been placed by Krishna (soul perception) between the two armies of good discrimination and bad sense tendencies, Arjuna looks at the array with awe, for the members of both armies are his own dear relatives, his self-created good and bad habits.
In spite of growing power of discrimination behind the army of good habits, self control will find it hard, and often distressing, to destroy the dear old familial bad habits.

Soul - how can this be?? This mornin reading answer my question this morning. Now d guidance from God is almost immediate. Amen.
Until now, d spiritual journey is done to me. I jus fell n flow wit it. I didn't actively look for it nor change my personailty cos its spiritual predominated. For the first time, I am actively transforming n I find ego comin up out of nowhere. And I hav to used my self control to enforce. The blessing is that the ego tots come in continuous mode/ forms n hence slow n good tot comes in one or two line n can follow thru
I jus realised, at least 3 to 5 negativ tot, followed by 1 positiv tot. If one has reacted too fast, its on egoic mode. D positiv tot normally comes out last.

7 thunder card for today - 5 of Hearts
- separation from my ego
- separation from my personality
- separation from my current career
Meeting new people, telling others about what u r doing and who u are. You can make important contacts when this card is present.

Soul - the FD jus left. Amazingly, she studied to be a life coach n I hav helped her out in her issue at office.
I shared wit her abt my Passion. I ask her wld she google the website. She said nope, cos her issue is personal - no direct answer. Besides she need to be comfortable wit d person before she can share
I told her abt d website n also tot of Befriender (which m not sure)
She says I need to frame out what are my services by writing my Profile n she will see if she can buy it.
I also share wit her that I hav not start anything yet, tot of doing only in April once I go part time. I told her that's what I do when I change job.
She says m now having a career change n not jus job change n hence I need to work out on what is my target market.
I told her that only last week I realised its a career change.
We talked abt a counselling diploma. She said take it more for 'marketing' purpose.
She shared abt another colleague not hav any practice on hair styling. The colleague is 40 years old, quit his job, pay lots of money to do a 6 mths course to learn hair styling.
I said m so humbled, the colleague that used to irritate me for lack of 'services' has such courage n it motivates me.
Unlike this overseas colleague, I already know I have the skill. I only now need to market it.
So, website may not be so appropriate yet. Just use my blog first n FD said to market my services by word of mouth. Perhaps she can market my services
She said m between Career coach n Life Coach n my target is cateer people.
She said m friendly, approachable n she felt I be great in my career.
She also shared her brother changin from mass comm to be a teacher.
She too wanted to do biz, but unfortunately all takes cash.
When she was talkin abt her children n husband, I felt the envy came up. Then I jus focus on her beauty n envy dissolves.
And I shared abt me.
Amazing.

Evening
Father, jus now I felt bit of connection durin meditation. Where is d joy? I now need to connect more than ever n it seems d ego is strong.
Looking at Sadghuru, so blissful.
The limited and the limitless
Where is the line, unless u draw one.
The illusion of the limited is the source of longing and painm
A taste of the unlimited leaves u drenched in divine bliss
Makes the pleasure and pain of life sweeter by the million.

Procastinate in my Passion

Dec 27
Father, yday after d Insight, was too energetic. Slept abt 3.30 am. Again, a dream. I was driving in d car park to go for a company party. This time I seem to know d place. When I reach there to look for GM. I saw old classmates from secondary schools n people from school instead. Then again looking for car in d parking lot.

Anyway, woke up at d alarm. Of cos, ego got every reason not to wake up for mornin walk. Fully justified. But a tot came, even if don't do exercise, hav to do meditation. Besides this evenin got weddin dinner, so best choice is d walk in d path. Woke up n went for d walk. Now back n m feelin good.

This month loads of outflow. Anyway, at least this mth I hav extra money and hence dont have to withdraw from FD. Overall m fine. Don
Tot of doin reno in my room but mom has loads of ideas. Front part alone is 15k n she wan to change cabinet which will cost abt 10k n if that is changed, might as well do the wall that is another 5k. Aiyah, wait until I hav achieve success.

Bhagavad Gita
Drona (Habit tendency) is the preceptor for both the good and bad. Until the yogi is firmly establised in Self-realisation, the Drona in him is a miscellany of both good and evil samskaras.
However, Habits go on repeating their same old pattern, often ignoring a desire's new command.
In meditation, the return of the consciousness to the kingdom of the soul requires the yogi to pass from awareness of flesh to awareness of astral existence.
The astral vibration are not heard until the yogi's consciousness reaches the inner astral plane.
Great determination of will is required to win this first inner psychological battle to keep the concentration steady n interiorised. The devotee whose consciousness becomes attuned to these astral sounds finds himself gradually ascending to higher states of realisation.

Soul - is says here to be absolutely still. Now not so sure if my auto movement is d result of body or astral. But d movement has led me higher n higher. My head shaking brings me into fast track union or loosen all flying tots. Also, my resistance is almost always before meditation. Once I start, almost always I am in union. So, I will take d vibration I heard as astral. Most of d times, my movement only enhance d sounds.

Bhagavad Gita
During meditation, the devotee will find himself straighten his spine; by holding his neck straigh, pulling his shoulders back and pushing his chest forward and drawing his abdomen in - bow of meditation, well strung and ready for battle wit d senses. The devotee then directs the nerve-force flow inwardly through the spine into the abode of Spirit in the cerebrum.

Soul - yeap, at d height, I find my body doing that n there is absolute silence.
Jus now I shared wit aunt n mom that m writing a book on related God's matter. Aunt said that I jus started this journey n most people wil have 20 years or so. Also writing book is so stressful. At first I tot she was referrin to the sense of failure if book is not saleable. Then in d end, she said she was referring to the amount of brain power to be used n it be energy draining. I told her my strength is my brain n my weakness is in physical. She said hers is opposite. Mom said she is against me quitting job to do this. I retorted n said what right does she has.
Anyway, m not writing on Yoga Kriya, m writing abt Self-Help matters. It is true I hav not reached d apex but I know d approach n experience of motivation/resistance leading towards apex.

Bhagavad Gita
Good and bad ideas are different forms or different dreams of consciousness. It is better to dream beautiful phase of consciousness than to have nightmare.
Consciousness is imaginative, sensitive and pliable; it can think and dream itself into any state.
When d mind impartially weighs all the faculties of the soul against sense pleasures, it is called "Sanjaya" or the introspective state. When the consciousness of the devotee is ever ready to meditate, scorning sleep, it has reached the "Arjuna-Gudakesha" state of fiery spiritual determination and self-control.

The "Arjuna-Partha" state is that consciousness in which the devotee feels symphathetic toward the mental sense tendencies and needs to be reminded that he is the son of Pritha who represents the power of dispassion/renunciation; and that he should therefore act accordingly and not give in to instincts born of nature.

The devotee who understands the route he must travel will never feel unsure of dismayed at its inevitable opposition.
The true devotee gives not only trust to God; he worships Him through understanding and wisdom. Blind piety is not unacceptable to the Supreme being, but it is a low form of spiritual-mindedness.
Man, blessed with the divine gift of intelligence, of reason and free choice, should worship his Creator in truth and in understanding.
When devotee passes through the initial state of meditation and arrives at the middle state, he obtains this keen vision of his dear psychological relatives of good and bad tendencies gathered together on the battlefield of consciousness, ready to destroy one another.

The secret of the ages.
To focus on one thing and do that thing well. Better far to do one thing pre-eminently well than to dabble in forty.
It is only the man who first consults wisely, then resolves firmly, and then executes his purpose with inflexible perseverance, undismayed by those petty difficulties that daunt a weaker spirit, that can advance to eminence in any line.
Every man wants to get out of the rut, to grow, to develop into something better. (This is d line to get me a Weekly column)
Make them real, live and interesting. Don't merely dream - but CREATE!
The use ur imagination to make that CREATION of advantage to mankind - and, incidentally yourself.
 
Soul - Father, part of me wonder why I stil hav not start on my Passion. Is there anything I should be concerned with?? Then I realised this is me, at the start of every new job or project. I won't do or think abt it until n when I m doing it. I don't hav fear abt it, I don't wonder/ponder abt it. When its time, I will do it. Its jus like my spiritual journey. So, no worries lah, that's jus my mode whenever I start something new.

With awareness, can exercise our Free Will and then we can ACT instead of ReAct

Dec 26

Father, ego is non-stop today. When I woke up. Ego said its holiday, sleep n do evening. Then I recall yday evening got no time. So, I jus ignore ego n did my meditation, both shakti and shambavi.
Then today swim not as good. Before d last round, ego said stop lah, but I said no n I continue n I felt my head was heavy but I continue. Then it was fine.
Today, instead of not helpin. I did tell sis abt her son's lack of freedom. I voiced out.

Mmm, yday lookin at d neighbour's child now fully grown n getting married to an angmoh. I know there is a slight feeling of envy. She who was such a fat child wit round face grown to be a slim beautiful heart face wit chin somemore. For a moment, I thought she did bit of plastic surgery. Mmm, didn't like myself too much. Perhaps that's why I wasn't my calm seld during my swim this mornin.

But the good thing is now I don't judge myself too much.

Bhagavad Gita
The ego not only gives human beings the consciousness of certain positive things that they can do, but it negatively influences with the consciousness of limitations of what mortals think they are unable to do.
This is the most dangerous aspect of being under the subjection of the ego regime, for it obstructs the potentially omniscient and omnipotent power of the true Self, the soul.
To break this attachment to delusion is to allow the soul to express its supremacy, establish its influence, and enlarge the manifestation of its infinite possibilities.

Soul - its true.
Once I breakthru my limitation, I can follow my Passion wholeheartedly. Also jus now watching d korean drama, Hwangjini. A gal who loves dancing, music n follow it wholeheartedly despite all d obstacles n even d never-ending objections from her mother.

Mmm, when my friend n PA asked me abt what I wanted to do. I didn't share abt me wanting to be author n speaker of Self-Help matter. I wasn't comfortable to share cos worry they don't believe I can do it. Worry if I tell, then I wld be subject to judgement. Worry people will laugh at me.

Aiyah, the ego. Ego also says this whole long weekend, I haven't write. True, but m learning d foundation for samyama.
Suddenly tot of CEO who always try to take credit, somethin I didn't realise until GM mention to me n when it was so obvious for d 5 days paid annual leave, that has nothing to do wit her. The PA also want to take credit for my spiritual devt. She said m fast track n she still believe her reiki process started my journey. She n CEO really similar n she hasn't seen her mirror.

Bhagavad Gita
Pride - my good name, my rights, my status, my race, my religion, my feelings. I am justified, I am as good or better than anyone else, I want, I have, I am.
Constantly on the defensive/offensive to support and promote the interests of that self.
There arise arrogance, conceit, haughtiness, presumptious behaviour, passionate/wanton lust after the desires, interests or demands of the "I, me and mine"
Consciously/unconsciously try to cut off the heads of others to make himself taller.
Woe unto any person, even well-meaning, who intrudes into ego's pride's own sanctorum. He is met with instant wrath, vengenfulness, or at the very best, a "you should feel ashamed for hurting my feelings".
Ego pride in a man repulses others, producing in them vexation and dislike toward him. The proud only deceive themselves that their overbearing attitude makes them leaders among men.
The greater the good in man, the more there is to be proud about, increasing the chance of succcumbing to egostistic pride..cunning.

Soul - wow, now I understand d CEO's wrath when I questioned her abt her leave overtaken, when she tot I won't give her d mobile phone n recurring incidents of issuing threats to me n GM. She is really full of pride. Mmm, better order d notebook for her.

Bhagavad Gita
Envy
Incites the lust of desire, and makes its practically impossible for one to reach straightway to one's goal and ideal of life.
It is a dreamer. It makes man dream of a world of fulfilled desires, causing him to run after them through endless corridors of births and rebirths
It makes one forget his true duty, those actions that are correct for his own soul evolution, and creates in him longings to imitate the position of others - that he might be or have what has aroused envy in him.
To destroy this consciousness, one should disassociate himself from his own personality and in his imagination identify himself wit others. He will find out that the resultant state of mind is the same in everyone - momentary pleasure followed by dissatisfaction and more desires.
Ceasing to desire, he will discover what he really wants is not ego-satisfaction, or whim-satisfaction, but satisfaction of the Self or soul.
The soul, being unlimited, does not allow itself to be circumscribed by the ego's narrowness.
The destruction of ego consciousness does not mean that we should live aimless lives, but that we should not limit ourselves by being identified wit ego's attachment.
Those who free themselves from ego's narrowness and the consciousness of ego's possession hold dominion over earth and heaven.
A child of Spirit who is free from ego

Soul - m envious of people who has a husband or parents who takes care of them or people who are charismatic/beautiful. They don't hav to fight or face challenges for their wealth, their position, their rights, their leisure.
I used to think I don't wan to climb d corporate ladder cos m waiting for d guy n the higher I climb, it reduce my chance.
Then I found my dream house n tot my future wil get it for me. Yday I saw a house wit glass wall overlookin a little garden n there is water on d side n I think is abt 800k, I think I can get that.
Now I m goin to follow my Passion which is a tall order. Somethin in me stil says that m not lovable cos I still hav to face tall challenge n this will be my greatest.
Another tot from the Soul, is d greatest challenge but this is your Passion, so chance of success is great n u will be happy jus doing it.

Father, I jus realised that what I hav is ENVY. Always thinking people hav something that I don't. Forgot that my college mate said I m the luckiest person he knows, forgot that my staff n friends always says I get what I want.
And now at 42, I hav cleared all my financial commitment n can work part time n follow my public affair Passion n I guess others wld be envious of me.
I told J that he is not thankful for what he has, he is always thinkin of what he doesn't has.
I realised m d same, in the other side, especially when faced wit challenges of being Alone.
Its so disbelievable, I hav come a long way n here my image myself still back in the Past.
Yea, perhaps I do lacked pride n that's why I didn't understand CEO and GM. Now that I tot abt it, in my ex-company years ago, there was an ex-staff wit slit lip n yet hav a nice looking husband which I was envious of. And here I hav everything else. SL tot I was envious become of d staff is good in her job n hence have CFO's recognition. That's not true, its jus me envious of her husband. Of cos, I wasn't aware then or perhaps I don't dare to admit to myself cos it does sound silly n also humiliating to me for being envious. I shld be happy for her instead.
I recall I read somethin in d natal chart that said I lack self-boundary n I shrugged it off. Perhaps I shld relook at it now.
Mmm, here m envious of couples n here my natal chart says that unless I fulfill my Destiny, I won't be wit my husband n I won't hav d wealth/dream house. So, let it go my attachment for a husband, let me jus focus on fulfilling my Soul's purpose. And who knows, d husband will come after that as what is stated in my Queen of Diamond n Natal chart and also Osho cards messages. And now reaffirms in Bhagavad Gita.
I am meant to be a Great Person on my own. Then I will be wit another Great Person too. Like what Osho and Bhagavad Gita says.

Bhagavad Gita
The aspiring yogi should forcefully disassociate himself from his egoic tots, "That's not me".
(Soul - this is what I did today, firstly in d mornin before meditation and secondly in d pool, before last lap)
He learns to shut the doors of his consciousness against all undesirable visitors seeking lodging within.
And whenever that devotee has been abused or neglected by others and yet he feels within a stirinng of the holy spirit of forgiveness and love, he can then affirm with conviction, "That is me! That is my real nature"

Yoga meditation is the process of cultivating and stabilising the awareness of one's real nature, through definite spiritual and psychological methods and laws by which the narrow ego, the flawed hereditary human consciousness, is displaced by the consciousness of the soul.

Soul - reading d Bhagavad is timely. It helps me to reinforce my Soul nature within me. Thank you. And d lesson on envy, my main issue is really great. Never realised a small envy (that's why it was placed in last sixth) can cause me to displace my Passion.
Bhagavad Gita
1. Kama (Lust)
2. Krodha (Anger)
3. Lobha (Greed)
4. Moha (Delusion)
5. Mada (Pride)
6. Matsarya (Envy)

Our delusion-born ego desires n sensory temptations though unlimited in number and protected by the vehement power of the ego nature, is only as strong as we r in d body-identified state.

By the proper breathing exercises of pranayama, the venous blodd is purified and man's body is directly supplied wit cosmic energy. When life force is shut off from the sensory organs, material sensation cannot reach the brain to snatch away the meditator's attention from God.
(Soul - mmm, firstly tot of d breathing in Shakti n also surka kriya - will be diligent. Secondly tot of my auto head shakin. There r 2 points that my head will auto shake, whenever I felt d Union or when m lost in tots)

The soul, having regained supreme command of the consciousness, says; "I was never anything but joyous Spirit; I only imagined for a time that I was mortal man being imprisoned by delusive limitations and sensory temptations"
(Soul, whenever m connected wit d Universe, I jus felt so happy, so joyful, laughing wit such abandonment. At times, I used to wonder why m I happy, why laugh. Now I know. Father, I now appreciate my connection. Amen)

The "awakening" of the soul or Self-realisation, occurs first as a temporary awareness during the experience of samadhi in deep meditation, after successful practice of pranayama has produced life-force control and reversed the life and consciousness from the senses to the divine inner states of soul - and God-awareness.

As the yogi's samadhi experiences deepen and expand, this realisation becomes a permanent state of consciousness. Attaining samadhi or oneness wit God is the only method by which the ego consciousness can be completely defeated.
(Soul - different from Sadhguru. Perhaps samyama is culmination of samadhi. Or rather samadhi is a long track and samyama is a fast track method. Trust Sadhguru to led wit fast track. I hereby admit Sadhguru to be my Life Guru. While I won't be using his programme to coach others as m coaching more ego-conscious persons, but I will use his program for myself. And for those who is ready, I send them to Isha. Like I said I m Isha promoter)

Bhagavad Gita
3 states of samadhi

1. Jada samadhi (unconscious trance)
- spiritually useless because it only temporarily suspends the consciousness and actions of the ego.
- produced by methods of physical control, or by mental anesthetic of keeping the mind blank or by pressing on certain glands.
(Soul - this is my samadhi state n I know its useless)

2. Savikalpa (perception of Spirit without the waves of creation)
- the attention and the life force are switched off from the senses and are consciously kept identified wit the ever joyous Spirit
- the soul does not lose its identity but only expands into Spirit.
- the mind is conscious only of the Spirit within; it is not conscious of creation without (the exterior world).
- the body is in trancelike state, but the consciousness is fully perceptive of its blissful experience within.

3. Nirvikalpa samadhi
- the soul realises itself and Spirit as one. The ego consciousness, the soul consciousness and the ocean of Spirit are seen all existing together.
- simultaneously conscious of Spirit within and of creation without.
- he no longer sees himself as "John Smith" related to a particular environment; he realises that the ocean of Spirit has become not only the wave of John Smith but also the waves of all other lives.
- the divine man in the nirvikalpa state may even engage in performance of his material duties wit no loss of inner God-union
(Soul - this is samyama. So, same as Sadghuru, jus different mode of presentation)
Ancient Hindu song

In savikalpa samadhi yoga,
You will drown yourself (ego) in Yourself (Spirit)
In nirvikalpa samdhi yoga,
You will find yourself (ego) in Yourself (Spirit)

Soul - this is what I said earlier. I do valued ego cos d good tendencies - self control is what brought me to this spiritual stage. If I didn't hav d self control, I wouldn't be here. And ego is also me.
My present mode - to accept all parts of me, the good and bad; the weak and strong cos all is in the same vein. I don't claim to be the good at all time. I jus want to claim and admit/acknowledge all of me. And I think once I accepted all of me, ego and soul, I can accept everyone and everything in this world. Becos this will then hold true the statement; your world (outer) is a reflection of the inner u. Once I accept d everything of me, there is no longer any hidden agenda, or rather there won't be any unconscious matters that direct my life. Everything is conscious n then wit my free will, I will decide.

Bhagavad Gita.
Even if past evil tendencies are destroyed, other evil tendencies or even egotistical good tendencies, can easily be created to keep the soul in bondage.
(Soul - is my passion to be Self-Help Guru an egotistical good tendencies by me ego. A reply came immediately, its not cos ur Heart sing when u tot of being near ur Passion. Also, its stated in ur Destiny's Nine of Diamond and Natal chart cards.)

When the awakening yogi, by the application of right action and meditation, tries to regain his natural state of divine consciousness, he find at each point of advancement of negative opposition of the Kuru forces.

Having won the moral battle by his power to resist wrong actions and adhere to spiritual duties and the inner psychological battle of restlessness by control of the body, mind and life foorce, he now confronts the metaphysical battle in the cerebrospinal centers.
As he tries to lift his consciousness upward through the centers to Spirit, he is fiercely resisted by the strong habitual body-bound powers and attachments.
(Soul - no wonder. I was wondering why at this late stage, I still hesistate to do meditation. Like this morning. How to overcome?)

The yogi draws courage and perseverance from knowledge that the inevitable final victory will be on the side of virtue. He holds the truth that it is unnatural to be evil or to allow unhappy disturbing conditions born of delusion and wrong action to rule one's mind, whereas it is quite natural to be virtuous and blessed.

Man is created by God in His own image. It is because of this spiritual inheritance that he can rightfully claim to possess the all-conquering qualities of the Omnipotent Spirit.
Soul - thank u, Father. D answer is to remember my natural state is to be happy at all times. Any other state is not mine.

Bhagad Gita
Ego is the psuedo-soul. It is but the reflected light, it is also called the shadow of the soul.
Intuition is like a light, a flame of knowledge, that comes from the soul. It possesses all-sided power to know all there is to be known. Every man inherently possesses something of this power, but in most it is undeveloped.
The more undeveloped, the intuition is, the more distorted the ego image will be.
The ego in the ordinary man is not the pure ego, but ego entangled in all the ramifications that have grown out of it - that is, from its identification with the intellect, mind and senses.
When man become conscious of pure ego, untrammeled by any of its evolutionary products, he is very near to soul-realisation.
The pure ego is nothing but the soul, the jivatman or incarnate individual Self.

Soul - this is what I said earlier. My ego is me n it has good n bad n all d opposite attributes is in d same vein. If I destroy d bad, I destroy the good too. Hence, m reluctant to do that. I m more willing to let it come up or come out (if it is not harmful) cos it is like a naughty child. All d years, I hav suppress n hidden them n hence it direct me without my knowledge.
Now, firstly I tot my mind was shitty. Then I tot it has no principle. And now I tot is jus like a child crying for attention. Whenever negativ tot come out, is for me to take a step back and be aware, jus like my RA.
To me, if I keep the ego well, it wouldn't hav to resort to bad habit. It wouldn't need to be a unlovable child crying for attention, even if d consequence is bad, jus like what my nephews r now doing.
Father, am I in the right track?
I may be, cos I felt sure.

Bhagavad Gita
The intent of yoga is to provide measures by which the purity of the ego can be established outwardly as well as inwardly.
The fault-infested ego of the ordinary man is the mind-ego that has the potential of being perverted by intellect waves, mental vibrations and sense impressions.
When the possibility of the ego's being influenced by these has been removed, then and only then is man safe from the disturbances and sufferrngs inevitable in forgetfulness of the soul.

Soul - suddenly has a tot. Yoga slows down the mind-activity so that everything is not on auto mode/immediate reaction n hence it allows me to pause n to make choice on what to do or where to go. It allows me to exercise my free will. Cos without yoga, my bodily reaction is immediate n I can't even use my free will. I am previously trapped n now m freed.
Like this mornin, d tot came, feeling tired, not sure if wan to do meditation, its a holiday, perhaps can do evening.
D tots seem to come in bit slow motion n I listened to it but I tot if I don't do in d mornin, I won't do in d evening, so I made a decision to do meditation n I got up n go to toilet.
Then in d toilet, tot come in, perhaps don't wan to swim. Then I tot if don't swim now, after meditation by 9 am too late to walk in d park n I decided to swim. All these tots seem to come in slowly n I didn't decide on anything n d opposite tot came in n then I make a choice.
At this point, I can't say m non attached, but I wld say that except for food n husband, d rest of the negative ego tot does not result in automatic/immediate reaction n with the pause, d opposite positiv tot can come in so I hav 2 opposite tots inplace before I make a choice and act. That's it. Now it is no longer REACTION but ACTION. Reaction denotes loss of control/no decision making. Action is a an active decision making wit direction. Action reflect Self- mastery.

Bhagavad Gita
Daily in sleep, every man becomes a renunciant, sloughing off all his sham titles; and once in a while he even becomes a saint. But becos of sense habits during the conscious state, he cannot preserve that non-attachment while actively engaged in duties.
If a man can for a sufficient length of time remain unidentified with his tots and sensations, without being in a blank or unconscious state, he will know his true Self through undistorted pure Intuition. Thus the absolute calmness of deep meditation is the only way the ego consciousness can be eliminated.

Soul - what yoga does is create awareness. Like when I do hatha yoga now wit eyes closed, aware of all d movement n sensation. Previously, it was jus physical movement.
In meditation, I had no comparison, I can't differentiate, but I can in hatha yoga. And in my tots, while all d while m in auto-control mode, I can't recall filterin thru d tots like I can do now, what I did was "control or hold back" the reaction.
So, is it my mind generating tots slower or it is me becoming more aware n hence can see d running tots?
Father, if only others can see what I am seeing now, the world would be much better than now. A tot came, that's is my Soul purpose, to bring this insight to the world. To bring d Light of knowledge.
M now crying loads cos wonder why can't We all have this knowledge. Why it took me so long? Why is it hidden for mus. All the wasted years!
A tot came, be thankful m aware when m only 42 years old and still have 40 glorious years to go.

Can I? Can I bring this knowledge to the world? Will they listen especially I still have not embodied an enlighten being? What I have is only knowledge n not in full application yet. A tot came, in time u will be. And u can use samyama to fast track this into ur ego.

Jus now when mom said she want to make noodle. A tot came to me, I m full. Then when mom offer, I told her a small bowl cos m full. Then when I took d bowl, I saw a piece of fishball - meat, I make a choice not to eat it. This sequence of tots wld never has arisen in me. I wld ask for half bowl instead of small bowl. I wld eat the fishball instead of giving it back to mom. Its like m AWARE n then its me making choice n decide to act accordingly, no more reaction. If I can do this wit food, I can do it with anything else, even d envy on husband thingy.

Just chk on Sadhguru's poem. Him creating karma to hold on to his bodily form so as to help us to cross over. This is the same msg on d osho card, Buddha waiting at heaven's door for everyone to enter. But He can't wait too long.
Perhaps its true, Sadhguru's samyama may b d last one wit me.
When I read d Osho card, I tot why Buddha waitin for me. This week no enlightenment/insight/courageous act. Little did I know I would be given this Insight and I also didn't know Sadhguru is the Buddha that awaits me. Amen.

Bhagavad Gita
Ego serves its purpose of keeping the consciousness sense-bound to the body whether a man's desires and actions are basically good or evil.
When the Kauracas or offspring of the sense-mind are stronger, Bhishma (Ego) sides with them.
However, as the divine discriminatice qualities become more victorious, it begins to feel more tenderness toward the discriminative qualities.
But their victory of Self-realisation or Soul rule cannot be complete so long as Ego lives.
Bhishma is invicible, for the "I" can never be destroyed without its consent and cooperation.
So Bhishma himself finally receals to the Pandavas the sole way he can be killed in battle by the skill of Arjuna, the devotee in deep meditation.
Eventhough ego is rendered powerless and benign by samadhi meditation of the devotee, it will not fully die (the pure sense of "I-ness" or individuality remains) until there is union wit Spirit in nirvikalpa samadhi.

Soul - I recalled a few months back, I said d ego has no principle, shifting to and from between good and bad.
I now know why I m led to Bhagavad Gita. My I is strong n since I believe Ego is both good n bad n to kill It, will be to kill myself. I would not have fully cooperated during Samyama process nor this 40 days of full veg without coffee. I wanted to hold on to the Ego.
Sadhguru's poem also says that eventhough he has achieved nirvakalpa, he is holding on to ego to bring us all to the gate of heaven.
I wouldn't have surrendered. Father, thank U. U have always guided me well. In future, whenever I forget to feel thankful and complain on my challenges or in envious mode, I wil jus need to remember one thing I know that U r always here wit me every step of the way. This is the greatest blessing of all.

Osho card
1. The issue - Imitation.
Be true to yourself, because ur own truth can lead you to the ultimate truth. Nobody else's truth can be ur truth.
You have a seed within u; if u r imitating others, that seed will remain dead.

Soul - earlier I tot it was d career change but now I can see its also about my being true to myself in this spiritual path. I have my own way of leading myself to the Ultimate truth.
I always know I have my own programme. My truth comes from my experience n not translation/interpretation of books of Wisdom.

2. External influence u r aware
Dropping the past.
Gather courage - the journey has begun. A man who lives according to the past is bound to feel boredom, meaningless and a kind of anguish.
You go wit life, you flow with life, with your totality and intensity and u will never face any dilemma again

Soul - earlier I tot is abt career change, then I tot is about d 40 days vegetarian n now I know is about my cooperation to surrender my ego.

3. Inner influences that u might not be aware - seed of transformation
Hope
The joy of love is possible only if you have known the joy of being alone, becos then only do u hav something to share.
Otherwise, two beggars meeting each other, clinging to each other, cannot be blissful. They will create misery for each other, hoping in vain, that the other is going to fulfill them.
Only people who are self-actualising, who are in such tremendous love with themselves that they can close their eyes and be alone and be utterly blissful. Meditation means being ecstatic in ur aloness. Soon, the ecstasy is so much that u cannot contain it. It starts overflowing u. And when it starts overflowing u, it becomes love.
Love is sharing. But before u can share, u have to have it. Meditation shld be the first thing.

Soul - this truly give me hope as m feeling more n more blissful. Yday n today at the pool, I was so at bliss that I laugh uncontrollably and it even continue when I open my eyes.
And here I tot m unlovable. The truth is You love me so much that u wan me to do the right way. To hav meditation first to love myself n then to share love. Amen.
God works in surprising ways. I would never hav tot abt this alternative view of me not having a partner for so long. Earlier I tot I was unlovable, then I tot is becos m not ready and recently I know its becos I can't visualise it, so it can't happen. And now the opposite view.

4. Direction of growth in ur inner awareness - new levels of understanding that are just now becoming available to u.
Enlightenment
Why the Buddha waits at the gate of heaven.
Buddha's was standing with his gaze back to the gate of heaven. His face was still looking forward the far shore that he had left behind. His heart is big and he is waiting for all those he have left behind who are struggling on the way. When there is nobody left outside, then it be his time to enter the gate of heaven.
He cannot wait here any longer, he has already waited over his time. He shld have gone by now but, seeing your misery and suffering, he somehow kept himself together. But is has become more and more impossible. He will have to leave you reluctantly.
If u r aware, alert, not only the floor, but you yourself would have felt a deep cleansing.
Make more and more moments of your life luminous with awareness. The cumulative effect is what enlightenment is. The cumulative effect, all the moments together, all small candles together, become a source of light.
It is not within ur hands, once u have become enlightened, u will have to enter into the universal source of life. It is not a question of ur choice or decision.

Soul - message that Sadhguru is waiting for me. Also says I hav reached d heaven gate n I hav to surrender my ego.
Mmm, this is different from d other heaven gate card; that one I hav found d gate but I ran away.
This one says I m there n I jus need to surrender my ego.
How is it possible, Osho card, Bhagavad Gita and Sadhgur poem, all d same. It can only be an act of God. If ever, I doubt, this will be the last stand.

5. Key of integration - inner understanding for u to work on.
Alertness.
Be alert. Each moment has to be taken as if this were the last moment.
Whatsoever u do, be there in it as a light, and everything is revealed.
The Masters are always waiting behind disciples, whether physically or non-physically. The Master hit him hard, his body fell down but inside he became alert. The desire/ego disappeared. Everything dropped wit the body, shattered; he become alert.
In that alertness, he died.
And if u can join alertness and death, u have become enlighten.

Soul - first message is to use my newfound Awareness n see my tots, both negativ n positiv n make choice to ACT n not react.
Second message, Sadhguru is waiting for me.
Third message, I hav to cooperate to let my ego be killed. I hav to surrender my individuality.
Amen. Finally understand the transformation cards.

Weakness and strength in the same line - Self Control

Dec 25

Jus now when I was swimmin, I was judgin myself for stil bein fearful of water after all these years n now even wit meditation. Yea, has improved a lot, but compared wit d regulars, m still junior loh.
Then a tot, u were afraid of ur loss of control in water cos u always in control outside water. So, in d water, not in control is a unfamiliar experience to u n hence u struggle.
Unlike others, who perhaps are familiar being not in control in their daily life. I tot of glenn, fully in control but afraid of water. Mmm, for d first time, an alternative view of my challenge in d water.
Instead of sayin m weak for not able to overcome my fear. I can now say m strong n hence I m havin d challenge.
But overall I did good today n so much laughter after every lap. Wonderfully amazing.
Was thinkin this mornin, been feelin bit lax on my meditation. This Bhagavad Gita and also the Osho transformation cards is helping me along, motivating me to commit joyfully instead of me disciplining myself. Thank U.

Bhagavad Gita
The man of cosmic consciousness, never feeling himself as limited to a body or as reaching only to the brain, or only to the cerebral lotus light of thousand rays, instead feels by true intuitive power the ever-bubbling Bliss that dances in every particle of his little body and in his big Cosmic Body of the Universe, and in his absolute nature as one wit the Eternal Spirit beyond manifested forms.

Soul - I know n experienced d ever-bubbling Bliss everyday. Jus now, I was laughing joyfully in d pool. Not sure why, jus feel so great n happy to be alive. Tot of d swim guy at 41 n he looks so dried out like d end of his life span, whereas I feel like m being born anew, 2nd phase of my life.

Bhagavad Gita
The superman, never a victim of imaginary perceptions, fanciful inspirations, or "wisdom" hallucinations, the superman is always intensely conscious of the Unmanifested Spirit and also of the entire cosmos in all its bewildering variety.

Soul - can't say never for me. But I can say I can get out of it, within the next hour n m conscious when m on contraction mode.

Bhagavad Gita
Freed from the intoxications of delusion and delusive mortal limitations, the superman knows his earthly name and possessions, but is never possessed or limited by it.
Living in the world, he is not of the world.
He is aware of d bodily conditions but his inner consciousness identifies itself, not wit the body, but wit Spirit.

Soul
- not possessed - means not afraid of losing d titles/wealth and not limited - means not let d lack of wealth stop her from following her Passions.

Bhagavad Gita
Every worldly person, moralist, spiritual aspirants and yogi - like a devotee should every night before retiring ask his intuition whether his spiritual faculties or his physical inclinations of temptations won the days's battles between good and bad habits.

Soul - well, I do reflect on my daily affairs. Not in terms of judging whether I did good or bad, but more of understanding myself.

Bhagavad Gita
Devotee, beware! As soon as the spiritual aspirant tries to meditate and to rouse the power of self-control and discrimination, he will find King of Material Desires tempting him in several ways. New desires will invades his thoughts to distract him from meditation: Your favourite television show is on. You worked hard, take a little sleep first n etc.
Even d resolute devotee who resist these lures n sits to meditate will be invaded by pernicious inner urges of past habits of restlessness, mental lethargy and sleepiness and spiritual indifference.

Soul - tell me abt it. But for d past few mths, whenever such Desires arise n m lost in it, somehow my head would shake on its own automatically (without any urging from me) n all d Desires drop off n I become silent again.
To rouse d power of Self-control via meditation; mmm I guess this is what d other meditators r referring to whenever they says they become hardworking, more discipline, taking responsibility, less anger n etc.
For me, Self-control was already inherent 80 percent of d time. Ha ha ha, my strength.


Bhagavad Gita
Man becomes like a machine, a human automaton, fueled wit food, automatically performing tasks sluggishly and unwillingly, without joy or inspiration, and partially shutting down its activities by sleep - only to repeat, on the following day, the same routine.
Avoid the mere 'existence' of living. Discontent, boredom and unhappiness are the harvest of a mechanical lives; whereas the infinite spiritual perceptions gaines in meditation whisper joyously to a man, countless thrilling inspirations of wisdom that enlighten and enliven every aspect of his life.

Soul - true. Without meditation whereby I experienced joy, I wouldn't know m unhappy in my career. Without knowin my unhappiness, I wldnt hav explored n found my passion. Without d meditation, I wldnt hav quit my job to pursue my passion. Without d meditation, I wldnt hav dreamt is possible for part time job. Everything is flowing beautifully.
 
Title of my book;
Are u caught in d rut?
Wan to change but don't know how!

Bhagavad Gita
Settling into ruts of material habits and sense pleasure causes forgetfulness of God and loss of desire to seek the unending ever-increasing happiness of the true nature of the soul felt in meditation. Mental peace and happiness are forfeited when sensory passions displace soul perceptions.
Pure sense pleasures are known to the yogi after he has won by meditation the true contact of God.
Until the devotee is strongly established in his spiritual life, he will first be confronted with his bad habits. Shunning these, he will suddenly find that his cherished sovereign freedome is still not wholly free, but imprisoned by heretorfore latents samskaras that bind his discriminative free will.
The determined devotee then rouses his spiritual ardor with the resolution to liberate the soul from all bondage.
Ultimately, the yogi rise above the influence of all habits and relies solely on the soul's pure discriminative faculty, intuition, to guide all action.

Soul - that's why m doing a 40 days vegeterian without coffee n dairy, so that I can attend Samyama to free myself from all limitation to enable me to follow my Passion whole heartedly. I admit my fear can come 2 way, fear of rejection/failure; fear of not havin financial security. That's why I need to do Samyama especially now that I know its a total career change, not a personal change wit temporary diversions.

Bhagavad Gita
All creation is encased in one or more of 5 koshas/sheaths.
1. Bliss
2. Intellect/discriminative
3. Mind
4. Life
5. Gross matter.

In ascending order, from matter to Spirit, the 5 natural evolutionary stages of life are result of these 5 sheaths. When one by one sheaths are unfolded, there is a corresponding manifestation of a progressively higher expression of life.

Soul - m now hovering between bliss and intellect. Mostly intellect and sometimes in bliss.
That explain why I dare to quit my job to follow my passion that is my Soul's purpose.

Bhagavad Gita
When Arjuna, the power of self-control in the lumbar center, rouses the fire of meditation and spiritual patience and determination, he draws upward the life and consciousness that was flowing downward and outward through the lumbar, sacral and coccygeal centers, and thereby gives the necessary mental and body strength to pursue the course of deep meditation leading to Self-realisation.
Without this fire and self control, no spiritual progress is possible.

Soul - Father, it is confirmed that my strength of Self-Control is what that lead me so far. Previously it was used for the wrong path, n hence resulting in RA.

Yudhisthira - Divine Calmness, and the creative vibratory ether element in the cervical center.
It is d immutable calmness that discerns all things without distortion. It is also the power of attention, continued attention on the right object.
It is d power of intuitive imagination, the ability to image or visualise a truth until it manifest.

Soul - mmm, I want to cultivate that to be the Self-Help Guru and to be healthy without any medication and alas to be wit my loving husband.

Bhagavad Gita
Patanjali - said yoga is the neutralisation of the alternating waves in consciousness.
Once neutralised, then the seer abides in his own nature or his true Self or soul. That is he attains Self-realisation, oneness of his soul wit God.

This is preceded by
1. Devotion (Shraddha)
2. Vital celibacy (Virya)
3. Spiritual Memory (Smirti)
4. Experience of God-union durinf meditation (Samadhi)
5. Discriminative intelligence (Prajna)
6. Extreme dispassion (Tivra-Samvega)

1. Devotion
One who has ardent desire to fight to express spiritual consciousness. It represent the attracting principle of love whose "duty" it is to draw creation back to God
This is a natural inclination for the love of God. The more the devotee is attuned to it, the stronger the pull becomes and the sweeter the purifying effects of the yogi's divine devotion.

Soul - this represent me. I told a fellow meditator that I fell in love wit meditation n it is so effortless. Everytime when I said no, I fell deeper n deeper still. I just can't say no. Somehow, something will led me to the door n I will just fell in.

2. Vital celibacy
The creative semen, which, if instead of being sensually dissipated is transmuted into its pure vital essence, gives great bodily strength, vitality and moral courage.
The vital essence, the sense mind, the breath and prana (the life force) are closely related. Mastery of even one gives control over the other three also.

Soul - I can do 12 cycles of suria namaskara n that means m physically well. So, when I m not able to swim as many laps as others, its not becos of my lack of physical stamina. It is fear of not having control that sap out my stamina.
I have great sense mind and moral courage n now learning breath n life force.
Vital here not jus meant semen, it means mind too. So, key word is control, which is my forte.

3. Spiritual Memory
He remembers, realises true knowledge, whose perception is clear, concentrated.
Soul - well, I definitely remember. I resonate wit Cloud of Unknowing, Meister Eckhart, Carl Jung n Sadhguru.
Was abt to say Krishnamurti _ but somehow I realised I never really resonate wit him. But thru him, I learned abt people-mirror.

Soul - suddenly tot of my ex-staff this mornin. Her key word is there are loads of 'stupid' people doing unnecessary things. I was wondering cld it be unconsciously she is referring to herself. Cos I too tot her 'stupid' to continue her rship wit her boss.
Jus like me wanting my bosses to leave, in the end its really me who wanted to leave d corporate world.

4. Ecstasy.
Before d rightful discriminative qualities can regain their kingdom, the devotee must draw those qualities from his experiences in samadhi meditation, and then be able to hold on to them while expressing through the physical body and senses.
Under the influence of samadhi, the devotee himself is illuminated and governs his actions by divine wisdom.

5. Discriminative intelligence.
To reign wit light.
An expression fo the divine faculty of the Supreme Knower.
One whose shining causes other things to shine.

6. Extreme dispassion.
This is not a negative disinterest or deprived state of renunciation.
This means an ardent devotion for attaining the spiritual goal - a feeling that stirs the devotees into positive action and mental intensity - that longing for the world is transmuted naturally into a fulfilling desire for God.
One who can advance swiftly to achieve thge golf of yoga

Soul - that's me. I am intense n ardent in my seeking. When d calling come, I just follow n didn't think of other consequences, jus like all d Isha programs that I attended when d calling came, I didn't even bother to chk out d agenda. I just do it.
Once again, my worry that m intense, not so acceptable by Society at large, but is very good for my Path.
I wan to read Yoga sutras by Patanjali.

Bhagavad Gita
Power of mental adherence
- produces an inner and outer well-being, happiness and strength that attract the devotee to deeper spiritual practices and make him receptive to the blessings of his guru-given sadhana.

Soul - mmm, my mental adherence has always been powerful. Now it comes in handy.

Bhagavad Gita
Abhimanyu
Intense mental state in which the consciousness is drawn into union wit the object of its concentration, giving perfect self-control or self-mastery (Samyama)
Samyama;
1. Concentration on that inner conception or object of meditation.
2. Meditation
3. Divine Union - this arises from concentration, first union within oneself and then evolving into cosmic conception.

Meditator, the process of meditation and the object of meditation, all become one - the full realisation of oneness with Spirit.
Self-Mastery enables the yogi to hold back the onslaught of the restless, delusive consciousness of ego, senses and habits and thus remain longer and longer in the state of divine soul consciousness - both during and after meditation.

Soul - this is so for me. I already hav inherent self-control but is not perfect. N now is d chance to make it perfect.
Father, all d rest of programme. I never knew anything except or BSP becos I attended Asia work n I know participation/opening/sharing is d process.
First time, u gave me such detailed input. I think its becos u wan to set my mind up. Cos, like guru pooja, I may be capable of shut down. I will preservere.

Bhagavad Gita
Individual delusion - ignorance in perceiving the non-eternal, impure, evil and what is not soul to be eternal, pure, good and the soul.
By delusive imagination, the power of visualisation or imagining the ego's concepts, man creates his own illusions of reality and "materialises" or brings them into being or expression through the instruments of his differentiated consciousness.

Thus is he a miniature creator, fashioning good or evil for himself and the phenomenol world of which he is an operative part.
Ego has 3 layers
1. Physical ego
2. Astral ego - in tune wit the wisdom consciousness of the causal body and thus become the discriminating ego
3. Divine ego = soul - solely thru pure intuitive wisdom.
When this 'I' shall die, then will I know who am I.

Soul - alas, m more of astral ego. And its when I put in my resignation, that I found out of my professional career change.

Bhagavad Gita
Repulsion (Dvesha)
Attached to what he likes and avoids what he dislikes, rather than exercising discriminative free choice and following what is truly right and best for him.
Material action (karma)
Men laments his present misfortunes as bad luck, fate, injustice.
By enduring, learning from, and constructively and spiritually working his way out of these effects, past karma is destroyed.
But unless present actions are guided by wisdom and thereby carry no binding impressions, new karmic effects will replace those that have been justly compensated.
So long as karmic effects from past and present actions do not fade away by being worked out or dissolved by wisdom, it is impossible to attain final emancipation.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Bhagavad Gita

Dec 24

Soul - jus now when I heard sis expound on ACIM. Saying that the author has used Jesus name in vain and mislead others.
I felt guilty cos I never offer her my insight. I never shared wit my family cos think it won't be accepted, afraid of rejection, afraid I failed especially since m their younger sis. What wld I know. Also, I guess if I shared my Insight, I wld share my experience.
Father, I hav accepted my Purpose. I will share. Today I told her abt my website plan n my ambition to be an author and speaker of self-help matters. I also told her I hav been blogging for a year now.
 
Bhagavad Gita (Paramahansa)
A grasping for ever more money, a plunging deeper into more prolonged work wit attachment or blindness, will produce misery. Yet, mere outward renunciation of material things, if one still harbours an inner attachment to them, leads only to hypocrisy and delusion.
To avoid the pitfalls of the two extremes, renunciation of the world, or drowning in material life, man should train his mind by constant meditation so that he can perform the necessary dutiful actions of his daily life and still maintain the consciousness of God within.
This is the example set by Krishna's life.
Yoga of dutiful action, of non-attachment, and of meditation for God-realisation.
To work without the inner peace of God is Hades; and to work with His joy ever bubbling through the soul is to carry a portable paradise within, wherever one goes.

Soul - that's how I viewed d meditation tool. I m no longer fearful, I can always let go n free myself n feel joyful whenever I meditate.

Bhagavad Gita
When deluded n tempted by cosmic delusion or dysfunctional psychology, the soul becomes the limited ego, which identifies itself wit the body and the body's relatives n possessions.
The soul, as the ego, ascribes to itself all the limitations and circumstances of the body.
Once so identified, the soul can no longer express its omnipresence, omniscience and ominpotence.
It imagines itself to be limited - just as a rich prince, wandering in a state of amnesia in the slums, might imagine himself to be a pauper. In this state of delusion, King Ego takes command of the bodily kingdom.

Soul - I hav always tot d ego is me. It has give me suffering, but it also has brought me so far into the spiritual path. So, perhaps ego is just a misbegotten soul. So, if that is d case, who or what will liberate the soul? Is there another??

Bhagavad Gita
The spiritual battle, fought in deeper yoga meditation, to overcome the lower state of consciousness and dissolve all egoity and sense of separation from God in samadhi, the victorious union of soul and Spirit in cosmic consciousness.
The advanced yogi may rejoice in this blissful achievement of samadhi many times, yet find that he cannot maintain this union permanently. He is drawn down again into ego and body consciousness by his karma - effects of past actions - and by remnants of desires and attachment.
But through each triumphant contact with Spirit, the soul consciousness becomes strengthened and more firmly in control of the bodily kingdom. At last karma is overrcome, the lower nature of desires and attachment is subdued, and ego is slain - the yogi attains kaivalya, liberation; permanent union wit God.
The liberated yogi may then discard his three bodily encasements and remain a free soul in the ever-existing, ever-conscious, ever-new bliss of Omnipresent Spirit.
Or if he chooses to descend again from his samadhi state into the consciousness and activities of his body, he does so in the sublime state of nirvikalpa samadhi. He remains in his pure soul nature, untouched and unchanged, wit no loss of God-perception, while he outwardly performs whatever exacting duties may be his portion in the fulfillment of the Lord's cosmic plan. This supernal state of being is the uncontested reign of King Soul over d bodily kingdom.

Soul - I hav experienced small glimpses of samadhi sinc d day of kriya initiation in Oct 08, abt one year and 2 mths ago. And d glimpses increases and recently wit me quitting my job and alas accepted my career change, d samadhi is longest than I hav ever experienced.
Now that I know my career is to be a writer n speaker of Self-Help matters. I know it won't be easy n I wil be challenged by my self-defeating ego. So, I wanted to go to Samyama to transcend my ego.

Bhagavad gita
Ego is known as d pseudosoul, for it imitates the authority of King Soul and tries to dominate the entire bodily kingdom.

Soul
Aum (Om) - creation, preservation and dissolution.
My second sound hav been too short. No wonder, cos I hav not been great in preservation. Me hav been on creation and dissolution.
Now learn to extend 2nd sound.

Bhagavad Gita.
Man and woman, instead of seeking emancipation in God through soul unity, sought satisfaction through the flesh.
Spiritual procreation requires the proper "mating" - within oneself - of the sterner masculine qualities with the softer feminine nature, it results in, and manifest in, the birth and expression of true knowledge and total Self-contentment.
In one who has attained Self-realisation, this perfect union has been achieved.
In ordinary man, the imbalance makes him dissatisfied and restless.
The attraction between man and woman, when based on true love and not sensual obsession, is the effort of the soul to regain its normal harmony.

Soul - I used to hav 80 percent yang n ying only allowed to come out during eating. Now I can say its 55 - 45. The osho transformation card says that my experience of self love will be shared.

Bhagavad Gita
A wicked man, an artist, a businessman, a dogmatist, an intellectual, a talkative do-nothing, a man of Self-relisation, are all self-made.
Very few human beings, however use exclusively their God-given power of free choice in making themselves the persons they want to be.
The majority allow their characteristics to change passively and desultorily in various, undirected ways, according to the patterns of passing moods engendered by specific environments or according to the helpful or sinister influences of prenatal and postnatal habits.
It is pain and sorrow that impel man - all too late - to inquire into the cause of his present condition.
Very seldom does man realise that his health, success and wisdom depend in great part on the issue of the battle between his good and bad habits.
No action, inner or outer, is possible without the energising power of will.
Will power is that which changes tots into energy.
Man is endowed wit free will and should not abdicate his freedom of choice and action.

Soul
Mmm, food wise, Paramahansa prescribed diary, something that Sadhguru said no. I m inclined to agree wit Sadhguru. Firstly m lactose intolerant, secondly Paramahansa is not fit like Sadhguru. Infact he look bit cowish :)

Bhagava Gita
Identification of the consciousness with the alternating waves of change is known as restlessness; identiy wit changelessness is calmness.
1) Always restless, never calm (Ego's control)
2) Part of the time restless, part of the time calm
3) Most of the time calm, occasionally restless
4). Always calm, never restless.

Soul - m in d third stage, wit d help of meditation.

Bhagavad Gita
By consistently right thoughts and actions, in harmony wit divine law, the soul of man ascend slowly in the course of natural evolution.
The yogi, however chooses a quicker evolution-hastening method: scientific meditation.

Career change

Dec 23
Father, yday during meditation tot of wiring.
This mornin during shakti, again tot of writing. Recall d natal chart, twoness. I recall when I was in primary school, my composition is always read in class. Most of my composition is some tv show I hav seen n normally there is an element of goodness. I recall one composition that is abt boys who were runnin in competiton n when one boy fell, d first boy stop n all d rest too n waited until d boy std up to run before they all continue to run together. I seem to be anle to tell a pix wit my writing.
This mornin also tot of speaking, to join toastmaster.
Also tot of writing article for newspaper n have my own corner of Q n A for self transformation. The current mode of Agony Aunt is old dated, this was required 20 years ago. Now we need a new help. Some potential here n similar to my Marker
Also tot of buying Horn Bill recording as a gift to myself. Wil buy d used version.

Yday, thanks to PA. I read d 5 diamond pluto challenge card n below was d affirmation:
I am challenged and transformed in making necessary and important changes in my life.
My values are changing in order for me to make personal and professional changes.

Father, all d while I tot is on personal change n now I realised 'professional' also there. While I tot of my passion to be a Transformational Guru, I tot is jus a personal change for me to share n learn my nine of diamond pluto lesson.

And I tot the quitting of job n now d part time is a personal change. And reading Benjamin Franklin comforted me.
But my ego is chasing me for my professional content.
Yday during meditation, I recall a tot came on my website biz n I said I will give away money once I reached my limit of 15k. Ego said shld be in USD n of cos I said no cos we r offering services, we shld be helping. Ego said why quit job then. Then I relented and said since ego is ok wit us quitting n allow us to follow our passion, at least we can concede on d income generation. So I said yes, n it calm down.

Name of website that came during meditation
Self transformation
Not so free self transformation site

Names I now tot of.
Notsofree Help site.
Not so free Guidance site.
Not so free Coaching site.
Not so free Clarification site.
Not so free Inner Self Guidance
Not so free Self Actualisation.

Pluto affirmation for d year
My values are changing in order for me to make personal and professional changes.
So, its actually a career change for me. It its not jus personal change. No wonder natal chart said to pick up communication skill with general public.
I recall I skip this cos I tot I m already good in commn wit people I met. What d natal chart is referring
Father, suddenly tears came when I wrote abt me having a Q n A column in the weekly newspaper. This is it. It feel so right. That's how I will advertise. This is my Purpose. Thank u for sending PA to see me on 7thunder.
If she was normal, I wld share. Knowing her, she wld lap it up n can even said she guide me to my career, ha ha ha.
So, ego, let's work together on this change of career.
My Passion is to help people to be whole
Your Passion is to have financial security. So, u will come up wit all d strategy to promote n sell our services.

2 of spades
U will need others n attract someone whom u can hav a pleasant friendship or working rship. The key to success is cooperation.
Close relationships always require a bit of give and take for success.

Evening, received call from C and we have a good chat. yeap, she is my partner in good.

Fear of lost income followed by possible Opportunities

Dec 22
Father, this mornin was feelin bit tired. But told myself to be disciplined since m going for samyama. At least its not food that i have to give up.

Now collecting medicine for RA n noted that my medicine cost is one thousand for 3 months supply. So expensive. That 4 thousand a year. Of cos ego workin overtime n said so how now, since u got cut in income. Also, this week ur legs swell.
Soul - what's d pressure? Well, there is workload. But not big enough to trigger. Perhaps is becos my part time thingy not settled.
Also, my house wld costs around 450k n not 350k. So, ego said how can brother buy. Then tot if any case, I can sell n lease back n can get 37 years. Or I can sell n get a cheaper apt at 200k n brother find his own place.
Aiyah, all these tots r negative, thinkin of lack.

Osho card - wasn't so keen to read cos I felt well but then better read cos feet swell

1. Issue - Existence
U r not accidental. Existence needs u n nobody can replace u. Once u r clean n clear, u can see tremendous love falling on u from all dimensions.
Home is not a physical place outside the world, but an inner quality and acceptance.

Soul - I find myself at ease n felt loved. But of cos, m stil worried abt whether m needed for d website. Whether its me lookin for challenge. Of cos yday readin secret of ages, sayin human will always strive to go upward - natural behaviour, I felt less judged.

2. Internal influence u r unable to see - Creativity
If whatever u do have something growing out of it within u, if it gives u growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine. The key is just to abandon urself. Be open to what wants to be expressed through u. Remember that we don't posses our creations; they do not belong to us.

Soul - first thin I tot of is my meditation. I jus gave myself up to it. Even if there is disturbance, even if I stop to scratch or open my eyes, my meditation doesn't falter, it jus continue. Now d finale wit legs folded n I bend down n touch my back heel, so at home. Later when I come out, such bliss n I be laughing non-stop. The laughter is more spontaneous n perhaps its new that I haven been able to detect d rumbling like normal laughter.
I m not sure what is there, what is d outcome. What is sure is that I will do meditation n yoga n my walk and my swim.

3. External u r aware - No thingness.
Nothingness to nothingness is the whole journey. Why, in d middle, becoming worried, so anxious and ambitous - why create such despair.
Jus relax, something sacred abt to be born.

Soul - yeap, I was worried abt my loss of income. Worried m not able to convert my 2 days productively. Worried that even if I do, it may not generate income. Worried if I can achieve my income base in 2 years time.
Mmm, good thing is now less worried abt how people see me. Those close to know me, know this is my path n asked what took me so long.
My 52 days card says up to 20 jan for my uncertainty,b we'll possible cos meeting Regional by 12 jan
Mmm, d something sacred abt to be born. Reminds me of my hibernation n now m ready to share wit d worl.

4 What is needed for resolution?
Change - life repeats itself mindlessly - unless u become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel.
Once u see d pattern, u can get out of it.
Move toward the center, knowing that this too will pass.

Soul - I did stop d wheel yday. I guess d bigger wheel is my period of uncertainty. This too wil pass.

5. The resolution - Beyond illusion.
The space between the two eyes has opened, revealing the lotus of spiritual unfoldment and the rising sun of awareness.
Through the rising of the inner sun, meditation is born
Look within instead of external. for what is REAL
Drop ur opnionated (judgement) mind and move INSIDE. There u can relax in ur deepest truth, where the difference between drams n reality is already known.


Dec 22 Evenin
Did my evenin meditation. Was laughing so much today n d laughing on folded legs is way out, its like d bliss that I saw in d teacher during d meditation programme. In d midst of all the laughter, I tot of my cousin. My guilt over her death, me not helping her when I could. Tot of d website - self transformation. Tot of me writing d self-help book. Me writing articles to newspaper. Jus sharing.

V's idea of d website is more like a life coach, whereas m thinking my site to be a self help transformation site. Its true, I won't attract d 'commercial' ones, but then that was not my calling.

Today, unexpected good news of main client, we got bonus n of cos we hav a new income n immediately I tot of us getting some income back. It was U. To focus on abundance instead of lack.

Today PA came to ask abt 7thunder book as she wans to seek confirmation. I guided her to the website n also share d 5 diamond destiny card. D part that irks me is she keep on saying it was her reiki that sparked me into this spiritual path. And also saying my intro friend followin her passion also help me. D truth is Sadhguru and Vijii help me. But she did said m on fast track pace in my spiritual devt. Always taking credit, even when it is not warranted..hei..just like her boss,CEO.

Mmm, PA seeking for confirmation if she is on d right path. In d end, my website is for people who know what they wan but need confirmation. Father, help me. Give me d name for d website.

Father, thanks to PA, i just realise that this year is a year of personal and professional change...is a career change...Is that possible? Me offering services is a career change?

I told GM that my family think I can't make it for 40 days veg. She said that I can make it cos m doing it for Higher Purpose. Yea, m transcending all limtation to love u.

The secret of ages
When u begin to realise that the power to do anything, to be anything, to have anything, is within yourself, then, and then only will u take ur proper place in the world.
Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance.
No doubt Jesus's friends and neighbours all ridiculed the idea of any such power within Him. Just as most people today laugh at the tot of a power such as that within themselves.
Don't judge ur ability by what u have done in the past.
Your work heretofore has been done wit the help of ur conscious mind alone.
Add to that the infinite knowledge at ur disposal of superconscious mind, and what u have done is nothing to what u will do in the future.
For knowledge does not apply itself. It is merely so much static energy.
An imagination which begins and ends in daydreaming is weakening to character.
We lose our capacity to have visions if we do not take steps to realise it.
Make the daydreams come true. Make them so clear.
Power implies service, so concentrate all ur tots on making ur vision of great deeds come true.

Ekhart Tolle - a new awakening

Dec 21
Father, my mind was workin on d loss of so many thousands a year. But m focused. Its ok, this period of uncertainty it will make me emphatise wit others. Thank u for my centredness. Previously I can forego my feelings n now I can start to forego my mind.

Last saturday, waiting at the counter queue n suddenly when reach my turn, change of cashier. Previously, I wld be agitated but that day, I was feelin ok, jus note d change. I was observin my response - m wondering why am I so calm. And then when sis in law said abt d change of cashier n was exasperated, I jus nodded.

Everything is possible now.

A new earth by Ekhart Tolle. I read this book a year ago when I borrowed it from PA. I have always know I will buy it but was waiting for sales cos since I hav read, m buyin for keep only. Got this in last warehouse for 15, albeit was not in tip top condition but its ok.

A new earth - awakening to ur life purpose
Soul - very apt title especially for my life now. This mornin tot of my friend who quit her job to find herself but in d end back to square 1. Father, let me learn from others.

A new earth
Humans would increasingly be drawn to and fascinated by flowers as their consciousness is developing. Flowers has no utilitarian value.
Seeing beauty in a flower could awaken humans, however briefly, to the beauty that is an essential part of their innermost being - it is a significant moment in the evolution of human consciousness.
Enlightenment is more than just an evolutionary progression.
It also implies a discontinuity in its development, a leap to an entirely different level of Being and, most importantly, a lessening of materiality.

Soul - thank u, Father for this msg. Jus when my ego is askin me to go back to materiality n here I didn't wan to. Ego said I was not rational, not smart not to earn more money before I quit. Should have waited another year. Thank u.
Also, I mus hav read this book before BSP cos my reluctant enlightenment was wit a little flower. I danced n laughed wit her. I connect to her.

A new earth
Can human beings lose the density of their conditioned mind structures and become like crystals or precious stones, so to speak, transparent to the light of consciousness?
Can they defy the gravitational pull of materialism and materiality and rise above identification wit form that keeps the ego in place and condemns them to imprisonment within their own personality?

Soul - Father, tq. U guided me so well to read a particular book at a particular time. I really need this msg now especially in this period. Let me remember that we need to be vigilant in followin our Passion.

A new earth
This book itself is a transformational device that has come out of the arising new consicousness. As u read, a shift takes place within u.
This book is about u. It will change ur state of consciousness or it will be meaningless.
It can only awaken those who are ready.
Awakening can be in many forms. For some, it may be through coming into contact wit a spiritual teacher.
If the awakening process has begun in u, the reading of this book will accelerate and intensify it.

Soul - Father, thank u. I wished for full transformation in the 3 months from 13 Dec to 12 Mar n now u r preparing me for Samyama. Thank U. I know reading this book wil shift me. It shift me somewhat that I took the isha meditation - IE program n it wil shift me more now. Did a quick chk on my previous journal on this book n noted almost all is abt diminishing d ego. Now I hav n I wan to transcend n transform myself to my New Being. Amen.

A new earth
An essential part of the awakening is the recognition of the unawakened u, the ego as it thinks, speaks and acts, as well as the recognition of the collectively conditioned mental processes that perpetuate the unawakened state.

This is important becos;
1. Unless u know the basic mechanics behind the working of the ego, u won't recognise it and it will trick u into identifying wit it again and again.

2. The act of recognition itself is one of the ways which awakening happens. When u recognise the unconsciousness in u, that which makes the recognition possible is the arising consciousness, is awakening.

You cannot fight against ego and win, just as u cannot fight against darkness. The light of consciousness is all that is necessary. You are the Light.

Soul - thank U.

Motivation to follow my Passion from Everywhere

Dec 20 Evenin

Watched d korean drama, Hot Blood. The guy's passion is to sell cars. His happiness is seeing d joy customer when they receive their car.
He ignore the convention way of doing d car biz.
Shared his ideas but there is no one to support him. Even the industry guru also said no n tell him that he is childish n ignorant of reality and etc.
He said that may be true but he believed in his passion n will get it done.
He quit his job and open his own dealership n going for multiple car brands - not brand focused like the other dealerships. He brings in d car, got 2 technical expert who will 'tear' the car apart n find out what's good n not good abt the car. Do their own in-depth evaluation before they recommend.
His motto is to bring d car that his customer wan n need, whatever the brand may be, rather than have to recommend their dealership brand.
They quit their job, borrowed money n some delayed their purchase of house, one leaseback his house n pay rent. They followed their dream.

Father, thanks for d message.
Hei, this guy dream is like mine. My biz is to recommend whatever services there are. I will do the testing of all the various help site out there. I wil focus on d spiritual site while C can focus on d astrology site. We r not tie to any specific branding.
I m even willing to explore other mode of meditation. I can analyse n see what fits who.
Again, another msg from U. Thank U.

The secret of the ages
I am master of my fate
Until u learn that, u will never attain life's full success. Your fate is in ur hands. What u r going to be in six months or a year from now depends upon what u think today.

Are u going to bow down to matter as the only power? Or u goin to use ur mind n visualise them as u would have them be and put ur creative power to work in order to change them?
The former is easier right now - the easy way that leads to the hell of poverty and fear and old age. But the latter is the way that brings u to ur Heart's Desire.

Soul - I admit my mind is telling me not to quit. Why quit when things r good. Even why work part time, u cld now have a few thousand to keep n save every month n instead u hav d 2 days to do what? Even V n C hasn't even responded to d project. U wil hav to go alone.
Aiyah, its true. I wil hav financial security n d so much extra money a year will be very good. But if I don't start now, I wil postpone n I won't fulfill my destiny.
So, m losing income.
Yea, but m earning liberation. So, doing d website n training, there is a loss of income n not jus time. But it will make me happy n fulfill my destiny.
In the end earnin money is not my Top 5 passion. So, that's make decision easy.
Ego is vacilitating n said I hav to earn d a few thousand from frm website n training. Ego, let's calm down. Our Destiny is to provide service, to give light.
Our aim is not d money but transcending our insecurity on money n relationships.
So, d is the price to pay first.
Don't be like PA. Hav so much money n also got payout n still wan to be samo samo.
There mus be more meanin to life than jus earnin money for financial security.

The secret of ages
Love is invisible, but what greater power is there in life.
By thinking of things as they might be instead of as they are, u will eventually find some great Need.
And to find a need is the first step toward finding the supply to satisfy that need.
You have to know what u r after, before u can send the Genie of ur Mind seeking it in the Universal Mind.

Soul - I hav already found d need. Reading d Dr Gang. While ego judge me for not having credential but part of me know that I can guide even better. I may not give direct tool but I can led people to the easier tool.
I found d gate to Heaven, let me not run away.

The secret of the ages
Most of us struggle along under our surface power, never dreaming of the giant power that cld be ours if we would but dig a little deeper - rouse that great Inner Self who can give us more.

It is the victorious mental attitude, the consciousness of power, the sense of mastership, that does the big things in this world. If u haven't this attitude, if u lack self-confidence, begin now to cultivate it.

Soul - I can't do d biz n change my income generation. Its jus my ego now worrying abt loss of money that's all.

The secret of ages
We often allow ourselves to pursue d road given because it offers the least resistence.

Soul - I admit my mind is vacilitating but m holding on cos I see d ultimate pix. I don't wan to hav regrets in my life. I hav been dealt wit a destiny card that need me to overcome my ego before I can transcend my money n rships karma. That's what keeping me on. Also chiron in pisces - 2 direction. I hav been given so much. Hav to try now.

The secret of ages
It is just as easy to think in terms of abundance as to think in terms of poverty.
We get what we think.

Soul _ yea, my mind was on poverty. I will redirect it to abundance.
Time to start on my action plan - to write article.

You have to give what you have received - Knowledge is Power is Responsibility

Dec 20

Dr Zhi Gang Sha
In some ways, service and developing ur spiritual abilities are two sides of the same coin.
When u offer service, ur abilities improve.
When u use ur abilities, u have greater desire to offer service.
Offering unconditional services is every aspect of ur life is the way to bring u to a very high level of service and to transform ur soul, heart, mind and body.
The gifts u receive from the Soul World (Universe) are put in the warehouse, very soon it will have no room. However, if u immediately share our gifts wit others, we make room for more wisdom, teaching and gifts.

Soul - reminds me of my ex-miser card.

Dr Zhi Gang Sha
Not every piece of wisdom and every teaching u receive is meant for every person u meet. U must understand the other person's question in a focused way.
As u share , confidence and compassion are 2 qualities to keep in ur mind and ur heart.
Too confident - u share info that they hav not asked for
Too compassion - u concerned abt hurting others n may not give needed info.

Question to ask urself
1. Does this service promotes love, forgiveness, peace and harmony?
2. Is this message a blessing?
3. Will it bring healing?
4. Will it add enlightenment?
5. Does this message feed my ego?

Soul
For few days, m thinking abt copyright issue in my teaching.
Mmm. Perhaps my role is focused on promotion of what is out there. Yeah.

Dr Zhi Gang Sha
Sometimes people on the spiritual journey think they are special because they hav received d direct knowing soul communication. They are special, but this means they are to serve even more.
This is the meaning of 'special'. It does not mean they are better

Soul - wit power comes responsibility.

Dr Zhi Gang Sha
The first quality of universal service is unconditional universal love. This love transforms. This love removes all obstacles and melts all blockages.
It does thos on every level of ur being, not jus d spiritual level.
When u accept this treasure and allow it to become ur heartbeat and breath, u r then able to manifest this divine love for others. This is a special privilege and honour.

When u first experienced divine love, u will be moved to tears. You are releasing what u need to release. This is healing for u.
When the tears flow wit abundance, invite the source of tears to be transformed to light.
As u enter deeper n deeper into the experience of divine love, u will be less inclined to cry.
Rather, u will respond wit deep joy and inner peace.

Soul - yeap, that's my experience.

Dr Zhi Gang Sha
This is the beginning of ur journey to deep joy and inner peace.
I am not promising that the rest of ur life will be one of joy and peace in every aspect.
What m saying that the core of ur being will experience a deep joy and inner peace that will radiate regardless of what else is going on in ur life.
Irrespective of challenges, u will hav this treasure of joy n peace because u have entered into the experience of being loved by the Divine.

Benjamin Franklin has fired me up

Dec 18
Benjamin Franklin
I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is, not making them easy in poverty, but leading and driving them out of it.
In my youth, I travelled much, and I observed in different countries that the more public provisions were made for the poor, the less they provided for themselves, and of course became poorer. On the contrary, the less was done for them, the more they did for themselves and become richer.

Soul - tot of d special rights granted to the locals - making them even less capable. For d non-locals, no provision and they rise to the occassion.
Tot of me, I used to complain God always make work hard - d maximum challenges and now d most difficult passion; something that may be laugh at by society in general as it may not be appreciated n most likely not generating income. Aiyah, cancel d tot - m a Self-Help guru that is financially sound. And God is so kind as to help me along by providing me a part time job that pays me a manager pay n allow time off for me to do good.
I think I shld be focus on doing good rather than worried if d biz venture is financially viable or not. God has already provided me d part time.
Very true d 52 days, period of uncertainty - firstly part time not confirmed officially and secondly not sure of what is my pay. Thirdly, january exp is generally heavy n wonder if I can manage wit part time. Fourthly, now d loan is settled, tot I only hav 2 mths of extra saving. Wonder whether I shld continue workin till next year end. Aiyah...all these uncertainty. This is my mind workin overtime.
My heart wans to go. Jus becos now my heart is calm cos decision made, doesn't mean it won't act up if I don't proceed wit my passion. In the end, me being a Self Help guru need to take this move. And also my destiny card said this is a year of birth of my heart's desires. So, timing is perfect. God has paved d way for me. And also, m going for samyama. Of cos ego said d 40 days, u can't do and even mom said so. Well, I can.

Okie, comin back to my original tot before mind took over jus now. Me facin n overcomin all d challenges is only to prepare me to fulfill my destiny.
Like P said. congrats on ur decision 2 leave job. M sure a new n exciting life awaits u.

Yeap, wil be exciting year ahead. This mornin, I already told mom that I wil be workin part time. Mom tot 4 days, I told her 3 days n I wil be a trainer n also do internet services. She said that's fine wit her.

Father, thank u for guiding me to Benjamin Franklin. What a man, reminds me of myself. He is a specialist generalist. Jus like me. Father, I too have much to share. Of cos, like him in d beginning, I too am worried if my sharing will no be welcomed or appreciated. Of cos, he taught me that our sharing does not come wit money. Aiyah, again money. Jus focus we hav part time, jus like Benjamin Franklin has his profit sharing from his biz.

Benjamin Franklin
I have experienced many instances of being obliged, by better information or fuller consideration, to change my opinions even on important subjects, which I once thought right, but found to be otherwise.
Therefore, the older I grow, the more apt I am to doubt my own judgement of myself.


Soul - this is so me. Me n 40 days vegetarian. Most people, family included think it is not possible for me to do 40 days. They all think I will lapse. Well, whatever is not possible is now possible. I can n will do 40 days vege. Already told mom I start on 4 jan n for dinner, I wil jus eat fruits.

Evening
Jus did my meditation. Was cryin cos know I hav to sell d house n shift out. When I m executing my Passion, there will be different types of people that I will meet n need to work with.
In this house, little privacy n I will hav to contend wit mom. Not easy.
Also I wanted my own space to decorate. Tot of asking WC to help me decorate n I be buyin old furniture.
Out of d blue, my brother asked abt housing near our area n I told him 300 plus.
My net net to him is 20 percent discount. But I wld prefer 15 percent n I will start wit 10 percent as a nego.
Ego said why hav earn, why can't jus charge cost plus interest. I replied that housing has appreciate n my money may not get d apt that I wan n also d renovation, furnishing and electrical eqm.
I also cried cos m already feelin insecure abt little income n now hav to spend.
But I wil stay positive, at least they say they wil contribute 50 percent.
Anyway, I will look for a place n tot of selling only when I found one.
Finally, a place of my own.
These few days meditation, instead of crossed legs, I tend to end with folded legs like during Shakti kriya. Today I laugh so much. Don't even know why.



Natal chart
Develop ur sense of body electric.

Mercurial character
Extraordinary communication
Pay attention to "twoness" and u can double ur good luck
Develop skill as paid speaker and published author
I can paint picture wit words.
I can think on my feet
I am magnetic and likeable
I am warm and loving
Strong mind and good mental energy, I make a brisk, lively communicator.
Give people a good show and they will give me their money :)
Participate in seminar; Create some of ur own.
Public perceive u as a highly charismatic and creative person.

Outward perception -Absent minded but actually contemplating I can make my dreams real
I can be a channel for higher or lower forces.
I can become a star by becoming more purposeful
I have discipline to transform myself.
U do well, when u can express the full force of ur personality.
I will accomplish something great. Poweful people will become ur friends (soul - in my marker, I said I become friend with Sadhguru)

I have powerful mind and enterprising spirit to help me realise my plans.
I am only bored when my mind and hands r not occupied.
I believe in myself and have good timing.

I can put my beliefs into action
Find ur true ideals - ur passion and allow them to direct ur energy and a renewed optimism and enthusiam
My friends wil play a decisive role in ur destiny and faith - good thing they hav more faith than me.
I can achieve the unusual and the extraordinary.
Become a maverick (original) and open new doorways to the world of mystery
A tantalising life is youyrs.
Dare to be a unique individual

Everything of my chart retrograde n that means as I age, I mature n peak much later than other people.
Get involved wit people who have both scientific (V) and astrological interest (C)