Nov 11
Soul
Projection
Why everyone wan to be my teacher
Why I can't be a teacher too like all d author.
Ego said u asian, no degeee also no specialise, not committed. Chance of failure is high.
While I was driving, I tot I wil go to the States and join people like Jane Atwood, Katie Byron and others.
As usual, I tot in order to do that I need my husband n that means I need a foreignor. Why?? Cos, m direction blind n I am fearful of venturing
Why everyone wan to be a teacher, especially they don't hav d wisdom and power n charisma.
Yday, I also tot my friend wan to be a teacher. Actually she was only sharing per se. Why I don't felt this wit my friend. Perhaps wit my friend, the tone is sharing/asking/clarifying.
This mornin I woke up n calm n know m not goin to Isha. I wan to focus on my Passion. The temple is for me to thank Sadhguru, rather than for me and the Samyama can go later.
What's important to me is also my family. I don wan to worry them unnecessarily. I guess I was acting overtime. Too much lah.
For now focus on my Passion, get the loan settled. Do my Markers, do my Vision Board, find out what makes me happy. What is my highest, when I don't worry abt failure. Isha is a tool to me, not the ultimate. Even when I guide, I wld jus be using Isha as an avenue. There are so many teachers out there.
My osho transformation card
Internal I am unaware - Laughter
If you change your sadness to celebration, then you will also be capable of changing your death into resurrection. So learn the art while there is still time.
Soul - I have changed my sadness into celebration. I am only ernest in one direction, we r meant to be happy. It is us that makes us suffer. And we suffer cos we need to feel d pain and hence seek awareness, seek help, seek guide.
Now I am at the death stage.
Direction of growth
The quest - gather all courage and take a jump
Blissfulness does not allow u to exist, u have to disappear. That's why you don't see many blissful people in the world. Misery nourishes your ego - that's why you see so many miserable people in the world. The basic central point is d ego.
For the realisation of ultimate truth, u hav to pay the price - and the price is nothing but dropping the ego. So when such a moment comes, don't hesistate.
Soul - yeap, take a jump out from corporate world. I wil create the opening and next 6 mth - until July, find n live my Passion.
Integration - need to work on
Greed - a parable of ambition and hurry.
Whenever people become very greedy, they become hurrued, and go on finding more ways to gain more speed. They are continuously on the run becos they think that life is running out.
So drop greed, and don't be bothered abt the result. Sometimes it happens that because of your impatience, you miss many things.
Soul - my tot of goin for the consecration and samyama is to gain more speed. That's becos I gave myself 6 mth to stop my job. That's means I need to find out asap on what is the next one for me. I want to be in control to ensure d result. Aiyah, so blessin in disguise, samyama is in CNY, so to stop me. Otherwise I wld sure go. On the consecration, m glad I hav my Top 5 and since meditation is No.4, my choice is clear that I hav to focus on Top 3 first.
I know if I go for the consecration n samyama, I wil need to prepare for it and not focused on my Top 3.
Amen
Monday, November 23, 2009
My forte is in guiding people to live joyfully
Nov 10 Evenin
My colleague keep on saying her bosses are being unfair in their judgement/assessment of the downliners.
I told her their judgement is correct. Also her symphaty is too much, perhaps 50 percent is sympathy for herself.
Perhaps since she cannot symphatise herself n hence projected on others.
GM cannot give herself n hence give too much to others.
Me, who cannot leave the corporate world and hence wants Others to leave.
Soul always think why so many people want to be her teacher. Perhaps she wants to be the teacher too.
Jus did my meditation. It was awesome. When I did kapala bhakti, my head was turned in. I was laughing till my tears came out. Tot of buying a polaroid like Meg Ryan who created her vision board. I jus wan to snap all the pix that make me happy so I can find out what makes me happy n go for it and live a happy life.
Then tot of my cousin's funeral n me meditating and making my sister and my cousin's brother and sister laughing uncontrollably when they saw me laughing in meditation. I was happy that I give them joy and it was a good finale to send my cousin off.
Then I have a tot that I wan to make people happy. I can make people happy. Then I start to cry cos I want to make myself happy too. Then I tot of my cousin and I cry loads cos feeling guilty I didn't help her. I could hav help her. I have the power to help her, to make her happy so she doesn't hav to die in order to be happy. I can make people happy. I habe the power.
My forte would be on normal people who seems to hav life together, can't complain cos got family, friends, career and etc, but not happy. Jus living by, jus passing life without knowing their happiness. Father, u have given me the power to help All.
I also tot I don't hav to do samyama but I tot of d consecration of new temple. I wld be of great help cos I have the energy of the Source. And if my Destiny is to help people to be happy, then I too need a lift up. I go wit an Intention. I am a Goddess of Happiness. Yea, my nickname LaughingBuddha cos that's who I AM and I finally found me, My Source. After all d years of clawing out my unconsciousness, my beliefs, my sadness and etc. It was at d point whereby I cried to Father, I can't go on anymore. What else to dig and here my mind was creating more shit and then meditation came. The answer is there is nothing more to dig, to release. I jus need to quiet my mind, I am already clean and very near to my Source
I m crying profusely when I am writing this. I felt better now.
Sadhguru, thank you for leading me to my Source. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. The timing of consecration is perfect for my next leap.
Sadhguru
Every ounce of energy that you have, every passion, emotion, thought, if they are focused in one direction, the results can be very, very quick. Things will happen. Once you know there is something higher and you want to be there, there should be no other question about it. Only people around you shld have questions abt it, not you. There is simply no questions abt it.
Moving from here, from whereever u r right now, to the Infinite is very simple, because it is right here. Do know that, simple need not necessarily be easy. It is subtle and delicate. Unless you put your whole energy into it, it wil not open up. With half hearted appeals, God never comes. Wit half hearted appeals, Realisation never happens. It has to be everything, only then it can happen in one moment. It need not take 12 years, if u make urself intense enough, jus one moment. After that, life is jus blessed.
You simply live on, whichever way you want, whatever way you choose.
If you can bring people down to jus life, jus life energy, wit no personality, then this life energy can be used in so many ways.
It is an opportunity for us to rise beyond our limitations. Pls make that happen, both for your sake and everybody else.
Soul - not sure if he is referring to what I experienced jus now. I know I hav the power to make people happy but I myself still has not rise beyond. I m near, I know.
My colleague keep on saying her bosses are being unfair in their judgement/assessment of the downliners.
I told her their judgement is correct. Also her symphaty is too much, perhaps 50 percent is sympathy for herself.
Perhaps since she cannot symphatise herself n hence projected on others.
GM cannot give herself n hence give too much to others.
Me, who cannot leave the corporate world and hence wants Others to leave.
Soul always think why so many people want to be her teacher. Perhaps she wants to be the teacher too.
Jus did my meditation. It was awesome. When I did kapala bhakti, my head was turned in. I was laughing till my tears came out. Tot of buying a polaroid like Meg Ryan who created her vision board. I jus wan to snap all the pix that make me happy so I can find out what makes me happy n go for it and live a happy life.
Then tot of my cousin's funeral n me meditating and making my sister and my cousin's brother and sister laughing uncontrollably when they saw me laughing in meditation. I was happy that I give them joy and it was a good finale to send my cousin off.
Then I have a tot that I wan to make people happy. I can make people happy. Then I start to cry cos I want to make myself happy too. Then I tot of my cousin and I cry loads cos feeling guilty I didn't help her. I could hav help her. I have the power to help her, to make her happy so she doesn't hav to die in order to be happy. I can make people happy. I habe the power.
My forte would be on normal people who seems to hav life together, can't complain cos got family, friends, career and etc, but not happy. Jus living by, jus passing life without knowing their happiness. Father, u have given me the power to help All.
I also tot I don't hav to do samyama but I tot of d consecration of new temple. I wld be of great help cos I have the energy of the Source. And if my Destiny is to help people to be happy, then I too need a lift up. I go wit an Intention. I am a Goddess of Happiness. Yea, my nickname LaughingBuddha cos that's who I AM and I finally found me, My Source. After all d years of clawing out my unconsciousness, my beliefs, my sadness and etc. It was at d point whereby I cried to Father, I can't go on anymore. What else to dig and here my mind was creating more shit and then meditation came. The answer is there is nothing more to dig, to release. I jus need to quiet my mind, I am already clean and very near to my Source
I m crying profusely when I am writing this. I felt better now.
Sadhguru, thank you for leading me to my Source. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. The timing of consecration is perfect for my next leap.
Sadhguru
Every ounce of energy that you have, every passion, emotion, thought, if they are focused in one direction, the results can be very, very quick. Things will happen. Once you know there is something higher and you want to be there, there should be no other question about it. Only people around you shld have questions abt it, not you. There is simply no questions abt it.
Moving from here, from whereever u r right now, to the Infinite is very simple, because it is right here. Do know that, simple need not necessarily be easy. It is subtle and delicate. Unless you put your whole energy into it, it wil not open up. With half hearted appeals, God never comes. Wit half hearted appeals, Realisation never happens. It has to be everything, only then it can happen in one moment. It need not take 12 years, if u make urself intense enough, jus one moment. After that, life is jus blessed.
You simply live on, whichever way you want, whatever way you choose.
If you can bring people down to jus life, jus life energy, wit no personality, then this life energy can be used in so many ways.
It is an opportunity for us to rise beyond our limitations. Pls make that happen, both for your sake and everybody else.
Soul - not sure if he is referring to what I experienced jus now. I know I hav the power to make people happy but I myself still has not rise beyond. I m near, I know.
Is White lies really bad????
Nov 10
Father, now that I know I wil skip this round Samyama since m spending 1st CNY wit hubby. The feeling was so exhilarating. M glad I made the Top 5 prioritisation.
I wan to savour this CNY wit my hubby.
This mornin hatha yoga, during the 45 n 90 lap, I was laughing so much. So different from the cries when I did it in Spore. Teacher told me that I created a commotion in Spore. Lots of people keep asking why m I laughin. She said so sad they hav to ask why. I replied that I salute them for their perseverance if they can continue so enthusiatically without feeling d bliss n joy.
Father, I am lucky. My ex-staff said m wonderful. Anyway, I felt good cos finally acted on the 2 action plan. The first one on adv already done. The second one on loan settlement, I hav printed out d form. Will get it done.
Suddenly I remember mom always tell white lies to pacify my crying sister. I often berated her for setting up her expectation. She replies that my sis wil forget n she doesn know what she wants. Why this comes in? Why I felt it strongly? I wonder perhaps if my mom has told me something, to pacify me when m in tears and didn't follow thru. That's why I m careful wit my words. I won't say something that can't materialise. I won't give people false expectation. Perhaps, that's why I also feel not much hope on the adv as my previous experience didn't give me my partner n I don't wan to give myself false expectation.
Perhaps I shld start to expect something I tot I cannot get. Bit contradicting.
The Passion Test
The 7 habits of highly effective people - Stephen R Covey - son of Dr Covey, the author.
Example comes first, then rship, then teaching because example is seen, rship is felt, and teaching is heard. People tend not to hear until they see and feel.
Soul - why I always avoid d book. I know I judge d guy cos I tot he was arrogant. Also I felt I m already effective and don't need any books on that, that's also arrogance, right?
Perhaps wil buy. Aiyah, d other day got
sale, but didn't buy eventhough I do recall d hesitation.
The Passion Test
The process of building trust begins wit urself, wit ur own credibility, ur own trustworthiness. Its hard to establish trust wit others if you can't trust yourself.
Soul
We have not done the Marker (to attract all the help we needed to make our dream come thru) and Vision Book. Wil start that.
Mmm, shared wit Paulyn on 5 diamond. She said external change not seen yet. Yea, I wil be married before year end.
The Passion Test
"Being happy for no reason" means experiencing a state of deep inner fulfillment that comes from a profound connection wit ur own nature.
Soul - I m happy whenever I connect wit the Source. I can connect whenever my mind is quiet down. Joy jus arise n I start to laugh. Hurray!
The Passion Test
You have control over action alone, never over its fruits.
You hav no way of insuring that u wil achieve any goal. The only thing you can determine is what you do, what action you take, to create the life you choose to live.
That's why it's so important that you love what you do. Most of ur life is about the process of creating, not the outcom/results.
Happiness arise spontaneously when u love the process.
Passion - how u live ur life
Goal - what u choose to create.
Soul - I love meditation. I love connecting wit my Source.
I jus checked my Top 5, key note is I m feeling happy.
Now I am happy when I eat lovely food. I am happy when I meditate.
So, I must find out how can I be happy. What do I need to hav to be happy? What m I doing to be happy?
I know m also happy when I can help people, give them clarity. The last one I helped was Temporarty Accountant n now maybe fellow meditator. I can do more. Its time to visit Befrienders.
Also let me think of way I can be happy. I always know of d way I can be unhappy but being happy, I never dare to ask cos fear of failure. I tot I can't have. My role is just to bear wit what life can offer me. I jus make sure I don't hav unhappy situation n d rest I can live with. If happiness turns up, its good, if not, is fine cos m not expecting happiness n hence I can't be disappointed.
Don't give myself false hope. Don't giv myself wrong expectation n then possibility of failure and sadness.
Don't wan to lie to myself.
This coincide wit my sudden tot this mornin abt me angry at mom for giving false hope to my sister whenever she cry just becos to pacify her, my mom wil lie.
Father, I got such low self esteem. I am meant for great happiness cos I bring many strengths in me. I can be more hyappy than most people cos I hav so much more to give, to offer n hence to receive. Of cos, on surface, it looks like I did well but to take d case of alcoholic and non-alcoholic, I cannot compare wit the alcoholic. I am in d non-alcoholic, m self-sustaining.
A tot came, no wonder I keep on attracting challenges after challenges. It to wake me up, to d day when I said enough is enough, I don't need challenges anymore. It is waiting for me to take charge and stand up for my happiness instead of accepting whatever life can offer. I am meant to be happy. I have lots more than others.
Always my fear of failure/disappointment/sadness prevents me from seeking to be happy. You wish higher, ui won't get. I didn't realise I can. I am going to wish higher. I am competent and I trust I can aim for happiness.
I need not fear anything now cos I hav the Source to go back too. My base happiness is always there.
My job - I can live with it but m not happy. I no longer want to settle for jus living neutrelly. I wan to be happy.
The Passion Test
Hiding beneath the layers of beliefs, concepts and ideas that have led to your current life situation is a wonderful world.
It is a world of joy, of bliss, of fullness. Like the sun, which is always there behind the clouds, the experience of that blissful world is never completely gone, its just out of sight.
The other side of the pain, physical, mental or emotional, is peace, silence, bliss.
Soul - I know that. Whenever m in meditation mode, I allow myself to go into the pain and once the tears came. I start to laugh.
Father, amen. I love You. Thank You so much.
I cried so much in the toilet, for d lost years. For the ignorance. Moments later, I start to giggle cos behind d pain is joy. Amen.
Father, thank u. At first wanted to share. But tot keep this to myself. Tot of doing samyama but later cos my 3 passion is spending CNY wit hubby.
The Passion Test
Marci Shimoff
We all come from the same source, and that source is pure joy, pure love and pure happiness. Its our essential nature. In order to experience true happiness we jus need to feel that connection to our Source.
Father, now that I know I wil skip this round Samyama since m spending 1st CNY wit hubby. The feeling was so exhilarating. M glad I made the Top 5 prioritisation.
I wan to savour this CNY wit my hubby.
This mornin hatha yoga, during the 45 n 90 lap, I was laughing so much. So different from the cries when I did it in Spore. Teacher told me that I created a commotion in Spore. Lots of people keep asking why m I laughin. She said so sad they hav to ask why. I replied that I salute them for their perseverance if they can continue so enthusiatically without feeling d bliss n joy.
Father, I am lucky. My ex-staff said m wonderful. Anyway, I felt good cos finally acted on the 2 action plan. The first one on adv already done. The second one on loan settlement, I hav printed out d form. Will get it done.
Suddenly I remember mom always tell white lies to pacify my crying sister. I often berated her for setting up her expectation. She replies that my sis wil forget n she doesn know what she wants. Why this comes in? Why I felt it strongly? I wonder perhaps if my mom has told me something, to pacify me when m in tears and didn't follow thru. That's why I m careful wit my words. I won't say something that can't materialise. I won't give people false expectation. Perhaps, that's why I also feel not much hope on the adv as my previous experience didn't give me my partner n I don't wan to give myself false expectation.
Perhaps I shld start to expect something I tot I cannot get. Bit contradicting.
The Passion Test
The 7 habits of highly effective people - Stephen R Covey - son of Dr Covey, the author.
Example comes first, then rship, then teaching because example is seen, rship is felt, and teaching is heard. People tend not to hear until they see and feel.
Soul - why I always avoid d book. I know I judge d guy cos I tot he was arrogant. Also I felt I m already effective and don't need any books on that, that's also arrogance, right?
Perhaps wil buy. Aiyah, d other day got
sale, but didn't buy eventhough I do recall d hesitation.
The Passion Test
The process of building trust begins wit urself, wit ur own credibility, ur own trustworthiness. Its hard to establish trust wit others if you can't trust yourself.
Soul
We have not done the Marker (to attract all the help we needed to make our dream come thru) and Vision Book. Wil start that.
Mmm, shared wit Paulyn on 5 diamond. She said external change not seen yet. Yea, I wil be married before year end.
The Passion Test
"Being happy for no reason" means experiencing a state of deep inner fulfillment that comes from a profound connection wit ur own nature.
Soul - I m happy whenever I connect wit the Source. I can connect whenever my mind is quiet down. Joy jus arise n I start to laugh. Hurray!
The Passion Test
You have control over action alone, never over its fruits.
You hav no way of insuring that u wil achieve any goal. The only thing you can determine is what you do, what action you take, to create the life you choose to live.
That's why it's so important that you love what you do. Most of ur life is about the process of creating, not the outcom/results.
Happiness arise spontaneously when u love the process.
Passion - how u live ur life
Goal - what u choose to create.
Soul - I love meditation. I love connecting wit my Source.
I jus checked my Top 5, key note is I m feeling happy.
Now I am happy when I eat lovely food. I am happy when I meditate.
So, I must find out how can I be happy. What do I need to hav to be happy? What m I doing to be happy?
I know m also happy when I can help people, give them clarity. The last one I helped was Temporarty Accountant n now maybe fellow meditator. I can do more. Its time to visit Befrienders.
Also let me think of way I can be happy. I always know of d way I can be unhappy but being happy, I never dare to ask cos fear of failure. I tot I can't have. My role is just to bear wit what life can offer me. I jus make sure I don't hav unhappy situation n d rest I can live with. If happiness turns up, its good, if not, is fine cos m not expecting happiness n hence I can't be disappointed.
Don't give myself false hope. Don't giv myself wrong expectation n then possibility of failure and sadness.
Don't wan to lie to myself.
This coincide wit my sudden tot this mornin abt me angry at mom for giving false hope to my sister whenever she cry just becos to pacify her, my mom wil lie.
Father, I got such low self esteem. I am meant for great happiness cos I bring many strengths in me. I can be more hyappy than most people cos I hav so much more to give, to offer n hence to receive. Of cos, on surface, it looks like I did well but to take d case of alcoholic and non-alcoholic, I cannot compare wit the alcoholic. I am in d non-alcoholic, m self-sustaining.
A tot came, no wonder I keep on attracting challenges after challenges. It to wake me up, to d day when I said enough is enough, I don't need challenges anymore. It is waiting for me to take charge and stand up for my happiness instead of accepting whatever life can offer. I am meant to be happy. I have lots more than others.
Always my fear of failure/disappointment/sadness prevents me from seeking to be happy. You wish higher, ui won't get. I didn't realise I can. I am going to wish higher. I am competent and I trust I can aim for happiness.
I need not fear anything now cos I hav the Source to go back too. My base happiness is always there.
My job - I can live with it but m not happy. I no longer want to settle for jus living neutrelly. I wan to be happy.
The Passion Test
Hiding beneath the layers of beliefs, concepts and ideas that have led to your current life situation is a wonderful world.
It is a world of joy, of bliss, of fullness. Like the sun, which is always there behind the clouds, the experience of that blissful world is never completely gone, its just out of sight.
The other side of the pain, physical, mental or emotional, is peace, silence, bliss.
Soul - I know that. Whenever m in meditation mode, I allow myself to go into the pain and once the tears came. I start to laugh.
Father, amen. I love You. Thank You so much.
I cried so much in the toilet, for d lost years. For the ignorance. Moments later, I start to giggle cos behind d pain is joy. Amen.
Father, thank u. At first wanted to share. But tot keep this to myself. Tot of doing samyama but later cos my 3 passion is spending CNY wit hubby.
The Passion Test
Marci Shimoff
We all come from the same source, and that source is pure joy, pure love and pure happiness. Its our essential nature. In order to experience true happiness we jus need to feel that connection to our Source.
Still visualising my Top 5
Nov 8 evening
Today sathsang was more experiential than norm. During the finale aum chanting, my head can't stop shaking.
I did share abt hatha yoga.
I open up n chatted wit d people there. A gal said I inspired her to do guru pooja and hatha yoga.
What a tot - I am inspiring :)
Father, recently my finger swell loads. Can't say m not worried but I m confident I will sail thru. Perhaps this is bcos, I didn't hav any medication for past 1 mth.
Today wore my maroon tshirt n I was surprised the bottom part is not tight. Looks like I have really slim down a bit,like what my friend said.
Morning
When I was doing meditation, suddenly occur to me to drop all leaflets into the Building mailbox instead. So, did jus tat.
Don't feel so good cos didn't take shower. Me, who don't shower in d mornin, now wan to. Shower mean, clearing and new beginning. Feeling fresh - that's same feeling I expressed in Top 5. So will shower every Mon to Fri, not because I hav to but because I wan to.
Me who don't like to shower n now wan to. Amazing.
Jus looking at my Top 5, I now saw that I has stop working n was doing volunteering work while writing, my husband support me.
So, d to get my passion realised is still to hav my Rich, smart, loving and spiritual husband. The timing is right this year.
So now need to act on my 2 action plan - adv n housing loan settlement.
The Passion Test
Jay Abraham
Passion needs to be balanced, passion needs to be universal in ur life. If u can't be passionate, if you can't really fall in love wit what u r doing, who u r doing it for or with, and the result of it, shame on you. Do it full out.
It isn't about you, its about everyone else, and when you made everyone else life's better, ur life automatically expands monstrously.
Its about falling in love with other people, what u r doing for them and getting clear on what ur life is all about.
Soul - yday at first tot don't hav to share but fellow meditator prod me. So I shared abt hatha yoga n got them all excited. Later a gal told me I inspired her. She said I m lucky as I got the experience straight off, whereas they r slow burner. I told her its becos I don't hav expectation. On BSP, I told her its not the place, its how open ur in letting ur personality be dissolved. I told her even in India, some of the people jus be observer, they didn't participate. So, perhaps timely for me to lead sathsang. Share n inspire them to proceed. Guide them on how to approach it.
The Passion Test
The most unexpected and wonderful things can happen when u r able to let go of ur ideas of what u can do.
The speed you travel on the road of life is determined by the beliefs and concepts u hold.
How long it takes to fulfill your dreams is directly related to your beliefs.
Soul - yea, I m sure what I wan for now. I don't wan to work. I wan to be married to a rich supportive husband. I jus wan to do volunteering work n writing n along d way find my own inspiration. In order to find husband, jus adv n to stop work, jus settle my housing loan.
My 6 mths gap, to end in April stil hold, that means I hv to give notice by end Jan. That plan was whn I found a new job. So, since my Top 5 doesn include new job, but stop working, I will extend it to end July instead. By that time, I am most likely be getting marry. So, I will jus take off to prepare for d wedding, to enjoy my wedding bliss, to write. My life - eat, pray and love. The eating goes on for 40 years n stil contine, the praying start from a year back n will continue and the love start from now and will continue. All 3 continues. Unlike d gal who wrote the book, my life will be a balance of food, spirit and husband.
The Passion Test
Your life is created first in your mind then in the world.
As long as you believe you can't, you won't be able to. As long as you believe its not possible, it won't be possible for you. As long as you believe its too hard, it will be too hard.
Soul - I already reversed d negativ perception I hav of myself. I already anle to express my feelin n jus need to know m worth of a rich, smart, loving and spiritual partner.
I put spiritual last cos I be the one to inspire him spiritually. For now, as long as he fulfill the first 3 criterias and support me in my spiritual endeavours, m appreciative.
Jus now I asked if my ex-staff wit lip cut can hav a loving partner, so can I.
The Passion Test
Katie Byron - when you question your thinking, and find what is really true for you, you have the clarity to do something about a problem, if yoi choose to, rather than making yourself miserable thinking abt it.
The volunteer - angry at the world for not helping starving children. Suddenly realised her anger was at herself, she was starving herself.
Soul - suddenly I tot of me not havin love, that I don't give love. I hav joy, m afraid to share too. Even in my anguish, after I cried, I will laugh
Katie Byron
We take our stressful tots and project them out onto the world. When u investigate ur thinking, you will discover that its not about anyone else. Its all abt you. If you hav judgement abt someone else, then write them down, question them and turn them around. Be your own teacher. Do what it is you want them to do. If you want the world to be fed, begin by feeding yourself.
The Work require courage, to question what we so firmly believe is true.
Soul - a tot occur to me. I always wan the Leader to leave cos they not contributing to the company. They r not helping the company. They making people more stressed. People has to take care of him/her instead of doing what is d real thing to be done.
Wanting GM to leave. Wanting PA to leave since they hate the job, they r not real n if they leave d energy wil be better for them n for the Company. Also if they leave perhaps CEO will also leave earlier.
I am the Leader n I am meant to leave. I m stressing myself out for staying. By staying, I avoid finding my passion n living my destiny. Suddenly I tot I wan to attend Samyama in mid Feb 2010, to see if I m over reacting. Cos this is d year to make the change, year of transformation.
Its so ironic, I did hatha yoga now. If I had waited d hatha, wld be end Mar n I think Samyama wld be mid Jun or something n d transformation year will pass. Father, thank you. I wil chk.
Now I knew why I m stil stressed cos I forgot abt the plan to quit the job in 6 mths. That's why m stressed despite no work stress. Today when I look at my Top 5, I suddenly realised I wasn't workin. I wil leave by end of next birthday - July. Hav to give notice by end March 2010.
Jus checked my Osho transformation cards. To laugh n not be afraid of death. Death is new beginning. To have courage n take a jump cos the old me cannot fit the new Me. To be not afraid of d results.
All message point to it.
7thunder card - Ace of spade
Card of death, change and transformation. You will go thru death n rebirth.
Truth behind d veils.
New beginning when we r preparing to launch a new occupation.
So action plan have 3
1. Adv
2. Housing loan settlement
3. Quit the job.
Today sathsang was more experiential than norm. During the finale aum chanting, my head can't stop shaking.
I did share abt hatha yoga.
I open up n chatted wit d people there. A gal said I inspired her to do guru pooja and hatha yoga.
What a tot - I am inspiring :)
Father, recently my finger swell loads. Can't say m not worried but I m confident I will sail thru. Perhaps this is bcos, I didn't hav any medication for past 1 mth.
Today wore my maroon tshirt n I was surprised the bottom part is not tight. Looks like I have really slim down a bit,like what my friend said.
Morning
When I was doing meditation, suddenly occur to me to drop all leaflets into the Building mailbox instead. So, did jus tat.
Don't feel so good cos didn't take shower. Me, who don't shower in d mornin, now wan to. Shower mean, clearing and new beginning. Feeling fresh - that's same feeling I expressed in Top 5. So will shower every Mon to Fri, not because I hav to but because I wan to.
Me who don't like to shower n now wan to. Amazing.
Jus looking at my Top 5, I now saw that I has stop working n was doing volunteering work while writing, my husband support me.
So, d to get my passion realised is still to hav my Rich, smart, loving and spiritual husband. The timing is right this year.
So now need to act on my 2 action plan - adv n housing loan settlement.
The Passion Test
Jay Abraham
Passion needs to be balanced, passion needs to be universal in ur life. If u can't be passionate, if you can't really fall in love wit what u r doing, who u r doing it for or with, and the result of it, shame on you. Do it full out.
It isn't about you, its about everyone else, and when you made everyone else life's better, ur life automatically expands monstrously.
Its about falling in love with other people, what u r doing for them and getting clear on what ur life is all about.
Soul - yday at first tot don't hav to share but fellow meditator prod me. So I shared abt hatha yoga n got them all excited. Later a gal told me I inspired her. She said I m lucky as I got the experience straight off, whereas they r slow burner. I told her its becos I don't hav expectation. On BSP, I told her its not the place, its how open ur in letting ur personality be dissolved. I told her even in India, some of the people jus be observer, they didn't participate. So, perhaps timely for me to lead sathsang. Share n inspire them to proceed. Guide them on how to approach it.
The Passion Test
The most unexpected and wonderful things can happen when u r able to let go of ur ideas of what u can do.
The speed you travel on the road of life is determined by the beliefs and concepts u hold.
How long it takes to fulfill your dreams is directly related to your beliefs.
Soul - yea, I m sure what I wan for now. I don't wan to work. I wan to be married to a rich supportive husband. I jus wan to do volunteering work n writing n along d way find my own inspiration. In order to find husband, jus adv n to stop work, jus settle my housing loan.
My 6 mths gap, to end in April stil hold, that means I hv to give notice by end Jan. That plan was whn I found a new job. So, since my Top 5 doesn include new job, but stop working, I will extend it to end July instead. By that time, I am most likely be getting marry. So, I will jus take off to prepare for d wedding, to enjoy my wedding bliss, to write. My life - eat, pray and love. The eating goes on for 40 years n stil contine, the praying start from a year back n will continue and the love start from now and will continue. All 3 continues. Unlike d gal who wrote the book, my life will be a balance of food, spirit and husband.
The Passion Test
Your life is created first in your mind then in the world.
As long as you believe you can't, you won't be able to. As long as you believe its not possible, it won't be possible for you. As long as you believe its too hard, it will be too hard.
Soul - I already reversed d negativ perception I hav of myself. I already anle to express my feelin n jus need to know m worth of a rich, smart, loving and spiritual partner.
I put spiritual last cos I be the one to inspire him spiritually. For now, as long as he fulfill the first 3 criterias and support me in my spiritual endeavours, m appreciative.
Jus now I asked if my ex-staff wit lip cut can hav a loving partner, so can I.
The Passion Test
Katie Byron - when you question your thinking, and find what is really true for you, you have the clarity to do something about a problem, if yoi choose to, rather than making yourself miserable thinking abt it.
The volunteer - angry at the world for not helping starving children. Suddenly realised her anger was at herself, she was starving herself.
Soul - suddenly I tot of me not havin love, that I don't give love. I hav joy, m afraid to share too. Even in my anguish, after I cried, I will laugh
Katie Byron
We take our stressful tots and project them out onto the world. When u investigate ur thinking, you will discover that its not about anyone else. Its all abt you. If you hav judgement abt someone else, then write them down, question them and turn them around. Be your own teacher. Do what it is you want them to do. If you want the world to be fed, begin by feeding yourself.
The Work require courage, to question what we so firmly believe is true.
Soul - a tot occur to me. I always wan the Leader to leave cos they not contributing to the company. They r not helping the company. They making people more stressed. People has to take care of him/her instead of doing what is d real thing to be done.
Wanting GM to leave. Wanting PA to leave since they hate the job, they r not real n if they leave d energy wil be better for them n for the Company. Also if they leave perhaps CEO will also leave earlier.
I am the Leader n I am meant to leave. I m stressing myself out for staying. By staying, I avoid finding my passion n living my destiny. Suddenly I tot I wan to attend Samyama in mid Feb 2010, to see if I m over reacting. Cos this is d year to make the change, year of transformation.
Its so ironic, I did hatha yoga now. If I had waited d hatha, wld be end Mar n I think Samyama wld be mid Jun or something n d transformation year will pass. Father, thank you. I wil chk.
Now I knew why I m stil stressed cos I forgot abt the plan to quit the job in 6 mths. That's why m stressed despite no work stress. Today when I look at my Top 5, I suddenly realised I wasn't workin. I wil leave by end of next birthday - July. Hav to give notice by end March 2010.
Jus checked my Osho transformation cards. To laugh n not be afraid of death. Death is new beginning. To have courage n take a jump cos the old me cannot fit the new Me. To be not afraid of d results.
All message point to it.
7thunder card - Ace of spade
Card of death, change and transformation. You will go thru death n rebirth.
Truth behind d veils.
New beginning when we r preparing to launch a new occupation.
So action plan have 3
1. Adv
2. Housing loan settlement
3. Quit the job.
I am on the right track
Nov 6
Father, reading this Lynn story in the Passion Test abt quitting her job, no clue of what she want to do. She jus knew she wanted to make a difference. She has money saved up and a wonderful husband who supported her. She took the Passion Test, plan to get her passion. It took her 1 year and her life is totally transformed. She said she used to feel stuck and stifled in her old life, eventhough by most people's standards, she had an amazing job, great money and all the trappings.
Father, her story reminds me of myself. I also felt stuck, I am not flowering. I have so much love and knowledge to share. But where to start, who will listen n can I be financially secure. Yea, I m not a good planner.
Anyway, great that they have this site that can help me.
For now, I want my partner. Like the shoulder std, I still not able to do it on my own. I know my issue on security.
I haven't been taking any action. I guess if I m fearful, first thing is to settle my commitment.
1. Settle the housing loan cos I can save on interest.
2. Focus on headhunter job.
3. Place d adv.
4. Update my blog which is behind time.
A tot occur to me, can use my blog to branch out as a Coach.
The Passion Test
Intention - Attention - No Tension
Acting from the state of No Tension, is the key to performing action that produces results. When the mind is calm then inspiration is natural.
Vedic texts - Established in wholeness, in the state of calmness, of inner peace, perform action.
Soul - the msg is clear, I m already getting to wholeness part (80 percent), calmness (60 percent), inner peace (60 percent)
Wil continue on my hatha yoga and kriyas to complete the wholeness n at the same time act on clearing my path. I may not know what is the new path but at least I can make way first so that when new path comes in, I can act on it.
Suddenly tot of Samyama to complete the cycle. But mind says no cos got 40 days n we have to work. Yea, jus work on yoga kriyas first.
I did notice now I walked more straight, shoulder is up n back.
The Passion Test
When u feel contracted, the best thing you can do is stop trying. When u feel upset, its a signal to let go, take time to rest, relax, be easy. Contraction is the red light saying stop, take a break
Living a fully conscious life means noticing when you feel expanded, when u feel contracted and responding appropriately.
Getting a good night"s sleep, meditation, prayer, all can help create that state of inner calm. This is why meditation twice a day and daily prayer are part of our regular routine. That state of inner calm becomes a habit.
Learning to act from that state of inner calm is the critical key to everything we have shared wit u.
Soul - m already doing yoga, 2 times kriya and recently started on night prayer. Only thing mus remember to rest earlier cos before finish prayer, already sleepy.
The Passion Test
Jyotishi - prediction of future. They do not tell u what is going to happen in ur life. It provides predictions of future tendencies or probabilities. Nothing is set in stone. But u can use the knowledge.
They can be a valuable additional input to the decisions you have to make.
You can increase the likelihood of success by being alert to the timing of when you choose to take action.
Soul - that's means me referring to Destiny card is correct. I was definitely more clear after reading the Destiny card - marriage and change in external. And now this additional confirmation from The Passion Test completes it.
The timing is this year for change, for having my passion manifested. Definitely for Top 5.
Father, Thank You for guiding me every step of the way. I love You. Thank You. I wish everyone knows abt U.
On d change, there is no loud loud noise, except 2 weeks back. Jus a slow humdrum. Yea, jus clear d path first.
The Passion Test
Timing is everything. If you are getting on the cosmic highway wit a new project, you can get on when the traffic is backed up and it will take forever to get where you wan to go, or you can time your trip to begin when the road is clear and you can go ahead at full speed.
Soul - the timing is now and I need to act by clearing d path - loan settlement and adv.
The Passion Test
I was willing to fight for this book. I was willing to do uncomfortable things. I was willing to take chances. I was willing to risk everything for this book. Failure simply was not an option.
When u have that kind of passion, fate favours the bold. All of a sudden things will jus start. You will struggle and you'll fight, but you will win.
We do not succeed in spite of our obstacles and challenges. We succeed precisely because of them.
Soul
Jus read my 7thunder day card - Four of Clubs
The card of mental satisfaction and stability. You wil experience some mental peace and is a good time to make plans for the future since ur thinkin is cleaer.
Father, reading this Lynn story in the Passion Test abt quitting her job, no clue of what she want to do. She jus knew she wanted to make a difference. She has money saved up and a wonderful husband who supported her. She took the Passion Test, plan to get her passion. It took her 1 year and her life is totally transformed. She said she used to feel stuck and stifled in her old life, eventhough by most people's standards, she had an amazing job, great money and all the trappings.
Father, her story reminds me of myself. I also felt stuck, I am not flowering. I have so much love and knowledge to share. But where to start, who will listen n can I be financially secure. Yea, I m not a good planner.
Anyway, great that they have this site that can help me.
For now, I want my partner. Like the shoulder std, I still not able to do it on my own. I know my issue on security.
I haven't been taking any action. I guess if I m fearful, first thing is to settle my commitment.
1. Settle the housing loan cos I can save on interest.
2. Focus on headhunter job.
3. Place d adv.
4. Update my blog which is behind time.
A tot occur to me, can use my blog to branch out as a Coach.
The Passion Test
Intention - Attention - No Tension
Acting from the state of No Tension, is the key to performing action that produces results. When the mind is calm then inspiration is natural.
Vedic texts - Established in wholeness, in the state of calmness, of inner peace, perform action.
Soul - the msg is clear, I m already getting to wholeness part (80 percent), calmness (60 percent), inner peace (60 percent)
Wil continue on my hatha yoga and kriyas to complete the wholeness n at the same time act on clearing my path. I may not know what is the new path but at least I can make way first so that when new path comes in, I can act on it.
Suddenly tot of Samyama to complete the cycle. But mind says no cos got 40 days n we have to work. Yea, jus work on yoga kriyas first.
I did notice now I walked more straight, shoulder is up n back.
The Passion Test
When u feel contracted, the best thing you can do is stop trying. When u feel upset, its a signal to let go, take time to rest, relax, be easy. Contraction is the red light saying stop, take a break
Living a fully conscious life means noticing when you feel expanded, when u feel contracted and responding appropriately.
Getting a good night"s sleep, meditation, prayer, all can help create that state of inner calm. This is why meditation twice a day and daily prayer are part of our regular routine. That state of inner calm becomes a habit.
Learning to act from that state of inner calm is the critical key to everything we have shared wit u.
Soul - m already doing yoga, 2 times kriya and recently started on night prayer. Only thing mus remember to rest earlier cos before finish prayer, already sleepy.
The Passion Test
Jyotishi - prediction of future. They do not tell u what is going to happen in ur life. It provides predictions of future tendencies or probabilities. Nothing is set in stone. But u can use the knowledge.
They can be a valuable additional input to the decisions you have to make.
You can increase the likelihood of success by being alert to the timing of when you choose to take action.
Soul - that's means me referring to Destiny card is correct. I was definitely more clear after reading the Destiny card - marriage and change in external. And now this additional confirmation from The Passion Test completes it.
The timing is this year for change, for having my passion manifested. Definitely for Top 5.
Father, Thank You for guiding me every step of the way. I love You. Thank You. I wish everyone knows abt U.
On d change, there is no loud loud noise, except 2 weeks back. Jus a slow humdrum. Yea, jus clear d path first.
The Passion Test
Timing is everything. If you are getting on the cosmic highway wit a new project, you can get on when the traffic is backed up and it will take forever to get where you wan to go, or you can time your trip to begin when the road is clear and you can go ahead at full speed.
Soul - the timing is now and I need to act by clearing d path - loan settlement and adv.
The Passion Test
I was willing to fight for this book. I was willing to do uncomfortable things. I was willing to take chances. I was willing to risk everything for this book. Failure simply was not an option.
When u have that kind of passion, fate favours the bold. All of a sudden things will jus start. You will struggle and you'll fight, but you will win.
We do not succeed in spite of our obstacles and challenges. We succeed precisely because of them.
Soul
Jus read my 7thunder day card - Four of Clubs
The card of mental satisfaction and stability. You wil experience some mental peace and is a good time to make plans for the future since ur thinkin is cleaer.
Its not easy going with the Flow
Nov 5
Yday was feeling down and felt like crying. Then tot of my weekly osho card, of opening up. So try to call my fellow meditator as I recall she has shared that she doesn't feel good.
Then tot of my passion, n note that I haven't been doing anything towards my passion. Suddenly felt inspired to write my adv.
These days, at night, jus before I sleep, I seem to connect to the Universe, cos I would start to laugh n thereafter jus sleep.
This mornin, dreamt I woke up twice to do yoga. Actually I don't hav to take shower in d mornin, cos I barely sweat n I felt totally relaxed n released after meditation. Infact, no difference after I take shower. I agree wit teacher that shower shld come first but m too lazy to do so. For now, jus focus on d yoga, shower is secondary.
Osho
1. Issue - Innocence
Drop ur personality n u will be innocent again, reborn.
There will be a sense of grace surrounding him, as if he is at home wit himself and with what life has brought. The innocence of a life lived fully has a quality of wisdom and acceptance of the ever changing wonder of life.
Soul - well, I know this year is transformation card, stil not sure what is it. But in general, I do feel a sense of grace.
2. Internal I am unable to see - Flowering
Your life shld reach out to others. Your blissfulness, ur benediction shld not be contained with u like a seed. It shld open like a flower and spread its fragance to all and sundry - not only to the friends but to the strangers too.
Real compassion - sharing ur enlightenment.
You might feel like a garden of flowers right now, showered wit blessings from everywhere. Welcome the bees, invite the birds to drink from ur nectar. Spread ur joy around for all to share.
Soul - this is bit too far for me to absorb. I admit I am blissful and I can connect to the Universe when I wan to. But enlightenment, that's stretching too far. Besides, no one has felt it yet. I hav to share n also my friends r not following me.
I already blog n now will advert.
3. External - Travelling
Life is a continuity always and always. When this card appears in a reading, it indicates a time of movement and change. It may be physical or inner movement.
This card promises the going will be easy n asked us to be open to accept and embrace the new.
Soul - true, the inner has moved but the outer not yet. I m stil not sure where to head, what to do. Wil refer to Passion List as stil hav not do Action Plan.
4. What is needed - Going wit the Flow.
Water search for the lowest ground, it wants to be a non-entity. It does not wan to declare itself unique, exceptional or extraordinary - it has no ego idea.
Trust and relax to grow more. Everything is happenning exactly as it shld.
Soul - stil not sure but for now m conforted.
5. Resolution - the miser.
The moment u start to cling to things, u have missed the target. It could be something as taking the risk of expressing our love to another. Like a well that is sealed up and become stagnant from diuse, our treasures become tarnished and worthless if we refuse to share them.
Whatever u r holding on to, remember that u can't take it wit u. Loosen ur grip and feel the freedom and expansiveness sharing can bring.
Soul - m holding on to my comfortable existence. There is risk in all my passion n most of all is d risk of rejection in rship n also risk in career change. I have gained stability from meditation n now m afraid to move cos not sure if can come back to the Source.
Yday was feeling down and felt like crying. Then tot of my weekly osho card, of opening up. So try to call my fellow meditator as I recall she has shared that she doesn't feel good.
Then tot of my passion, n note that I haven't been doing anything towards my passion. Suddenly felt inspired to write my adv.
These days, at night, jus before I sleep, I seem to connect to the Universe, cos I would start to laugh n thereafter jus sleep.
This mornin, dreamt I woke up twice to do yoga. Actually I don't hav to take shower in d mornin, cos I barely sweat n I felt totally relaxed n released after meditation. Infact, no difference after I take shower. I agree wit teacher that shower shld come first but m too lazy to do so. For now, jus focus on d yoga, shower is secondary.
Osho
1. Issue - Innocence
Drop ur personality n u will be innocent again, reborn.
There will be a sense of grace surrounding him, as if he is at home wit himself and with what life has brought. The innocence of a life lived fully has a quality of wisdom and acceptance of the ever changing wonder of life.
Soul - well, I know this year is transformation card, stil not sure what is it. But in general, I do feel a sense of grace.
2. Internal I am unable to see - Flowering
Your life shld reach out to others. Your blissfulness, ur benediction shld not be contained with u like a seed. It shld open like a flower and spread its fragance to all and sundry - not only to the friends but to the strangers too.
Real compassion - sharing ur enlightenment.
You might feel like a garden of flowers right now, showered wit blessings from everywhere. Welcome the bees, invite the birds to drink from ur nectar. Spread ur joy around for all to share.
Soul - this is bit too far for me to absorb. I admit I am blissful and I can connect to the Universe when I wan to. But enlightenment, that's stretching too far. Besides, no one has felt it yet. I hav to share n also my friends r not following me.
I already blog n now will advert.
3. External - Travelling
Life is a continuity always and always. When this card appears in a reading, it indicates a time of movement and change. It may be physical or inner movement.
This card promises the going will be easy n asked us to be open to accept and embrace the new.
Soul - true, the inner has moved but the outer not yet. I m stil not sure where to head, what to do. Wil refer to Passion List as stil hav not do Action Plan.
4. What is needed - Going wit the Flow.
Water search for the lowest ground, it wants to be a non-entity. It does not wan to declare itself unique, exceptional or extraordinary - it has no ego idea.
Trust and relax to grow more. Everything is happenning exactly as it shld.
Soul - stil not sure but for now m conforted.
5. Resolution - the miser.
The moment u start to cling to things, u have missed the target. It could be something as taking the risk of expressing our love to another. Like a well that is sealed up and become stagnant from diuse, our treasures become tarnished and worthless if we refuse to share them.
Whatever u r holding on to, remember that u can't take it wit u. Loosen ur grip and feel the freedom and expansiveness sharing can bring.
Soul - m holding on to my comfortable existence. There is risk in all my passion n most of all is d risk of rejection in rship n also risk in career change. I have gained stability from meditation n now m afraid to move cos not sure if can come back to the Source.
Reprioritising my passion of Guiding people from No. 11 to No.1
Nov 4
The Passion Test
By taking action, you are directing your attention engaged. This is a critical point.
Its not action that creates the desired result (eventhough it may appear that way). It is ur attention directed through the process of attention that creates the results.
Nature will guide u every steps of the way when u listen to her messages.
Soul - yeap, hav to adv. It not like that its d best way to get rich, smart, spiritual and loving guy but its my attention being focused.
This mornin during meditation, tot why don't I expect my partner to fall into my lap like Sadhguru and the rest of the Masters. Like me always getting good food at first try. Believe, Expect and Get.
Today did my yoga, quite ok. I agree wit teacher, d shower has to come first so we can be aware of d yoga steps. As for d so called sweat, quite little cos d focus is on breathing to ease the muscle rather than to exert the muscle.
The Passion Test
When u feel contracted, stop, take a break, and stay open to what is appearing in your life now. You will be giving yourself the chance for new ideas, new solutions, and new opportunities to show up.
It means letting go of the idea that you have to control everything that happens in your world.
Debbie Ford
I wrote my first book out of this passion to share the idea that God did create us as amazing individuals, and that we all hav this similar blueprints within all of us. We all are everything; the good and the bad, the light and the dark; the sweet and sour; the fearful and courageous.
Soul - suddenly felt the connection to Debbie. Also if I hav a action plan for being happy and joyous. What wld it be, wouldn't it be to be involve in something that nake me happy, something that is joyful within. Jus had a look.
I will radiate joy and envelop people around me, giving people hope that once we drop all d lies we picked up, we become whole and when we r whole, joy jus arise without any condition.
Yeap, will work on d Action Plan cos s d partner is only No.3.
My Passion - the hidden one is BiG - to be as the leader in personal transformation. But how can, when m still not transformed?
We'll, I am. 2 years ago, if anyone were to say that I wil wake up willingly at 5am to do yoga n meditation, I wld think them crazy and the tot is so prospeterous n scary cos its not me. What is me?
Let me jus allow this period to be. For now, I jus wan to let the yoga acclimatise in my life.
Debbie Ford - the best years of my life - dream it, plan it and live it.
The goal is to find balance between inner and outer; allowed myself to evolve, and if I have surrendered and I love who I am then nothing else matters.
This is what I see from teaching and being a trainer and training coaches. When you are loving your life, magic happens.
Ultimately,the point is " Who do I have to be in the inner world to create effortlessly and easily with joy, the things that will nourish me in the outer world?"
The Passion Test
By taking action, you are directing your attention engaged. This is a critical point.
Its not action that creates the desired result (eventhough it may appear that way). It is ur attention directed through the process of attention that creates the results.
Nature will guide u every steps of the way when u listen to her messages.
Soul - yeap, hav to adv. It not like that its d best way to get rich, smart, spiritual and loving guy but its my attention being focused.
This mornin during meditation, tot why don't I expect my partner to fall into my lap like Sadhguru and the rest of the Masters. Like me always getting good food at first try. Believe, Expect and Get.
Today did my yoga, quite ok. I agree wit teacher, d shower has to come first so we can be aware of d yoga steps. As for d so called sweat, quite little cos d focus is on breathing to ease the muscle rather than to exert the muscle.
The Passion Test
When u feel contracted, stop, take a break, and stay open to what is appearing in your life now. You will be giving yourself the chance for new ideas, new solutions, and new opportunities to show up.
It means letting go of the idea that you have to control everything that happens in your world.
Debbie Ford
I wrote my first book out of this passion to share the idea that God did create us as amazing individuals, and that we all hav this similar blueprints within all of us. We all are everything; the good and the bad, the light and the dark; the sweet and sour; the fearful and courageous.
Soul - suddenly felt the connection to Debbie. Also if I hav a action plan for being happy and joyous. What wld it be, wouldn't it be to be involve in something that nake me happy, something that is joyful within. Jus had a look.
I will radiate joy and envelop people around me, giving people hope that once we drop all d lies we picked up, we become whole and when we r whole, joy jus arise without any condition.
Yeap, will work on d Action Plan cos s d partner is only No.3.
My Passion - the hidden one is BiG - to be as the leader in personal transformation. But how can, when m still not transformed?
We'll, I am. 2 years ago, if anyone were to say that I wil wake up willingly at 5am to do yoga n meditation, I wld think them crazy and the tot is so prospeterous n scary cos its not me. What is me?
Let me jus allow this period to be. For now, I jus wan to let the yoga acclimatise in my life.
Debbie Ford - the best years of my life - dream it, plan it and live it.
The goal is to find balance between inner and outer; allowed myself to evolve, and if I have surrendered and I love who I am then nothing else matters.
This is what I see from teaching and being a trainer and training coaches. When you are loving your life, magic happens.
Ultimately,the point is " Who do I have to be in the inner world to create effortlessly and easily with joy, the things that will nourish me in the outer world?"
New beginning
Nov 2
In tune wit Infinite
When apparent adversity comes, be not cast by it, but make the best of it, and always look forward for better things, for conditions more prosperous.
Never give a moment to complaint, but utilise the time that would otherwise be spent in this way in looking forward and actualising the conditions u desire.
Suggest prosperity to urself. See urself in a prosperous condition. Affirm calmly, quietly, but strongly n confidently that u will before long be in a prosperous condition.
Believe it absolutely, expect it. Keep it continually watered wit expectation. You thus make urself a magnet to attract the things that u desire.
Soul - after reading the Destiny card, I become more reassured n look forward. From today onward, on daily basis will send a msg to Universe on my passion.
Jus read thru my Top 5 again
I m content to let go of my self image, let go of personality
Coincidentally, I jus bought the audio cd by Sadhguru - on dissolving personality.
I also saw that in terms of prioritisation of when m feelin loved n appreciated
1. Husband
2. Working people I like
3. Working on my forte
4. Working on balanced time.
Perhaps, my husband wil support me of my plan to make the transformation. For now, he wil be my soil.
In tune wit Infinite
Don't fold ur hands and expect to see things drop into ur lap, but set into operation the higher forces and then take hold of the first thing that offer itself.
Soul - tot of my Osho card, trust God's Will but do ur part first. I wil do the adv.
Today, a new day. I m wearing hanging earrings n it looks good. I always tot I got diamond earring n mean to wear studs. Infact I hav tried many earrings but it doesn't look nice. This one selected by my good friend and it does look nice and also first time buy without disc. The earring gave me a feminine and sexy look, more inviting. A new beginning :)
Jus now when I did shakti, for the first time in mths, I don't have to get up every session, my legs were fine. I only got up 3 times instead of 7 times, cut by half. This shows the hatha yoga is helping.
In tune wit Infinite
Live in mind in a palace and gradually palatial surroundings will gravitate towards u.
Living is not pining or longing or complainingly wishing. It is when u r down in the world, u calmly and persistently seeing urself as up.
Soul - I have always imagine n know m meant to live a life of ease and luxury. That's why I always at ease wit rich people. And I always know my husband is rich and wil support me in my endeavour - my soil. I wil support him by giving him love and joy and a home to come back to. I am his sanctuary and he is my soil. For me, my sanctuary is within me, is wit God.
Soul - in terms of financial wholeness, I m fine. But in terms of loving rship or beautiful woman, I am not that good as feeling of envy arise previously. But now I can hold my own.
In tune wit Infinite.
Faith, absolute dogmatic faith, is the only law of true success or his failure wit him.
Soul - was lookin thru my Passion List n noted that health is not there.
Evenin
My fellow inner journey friend is also into manifestation. Timely. M glad he found d connection to Universe when running. He enter via appreciation.
He told me that m slimmer now. So is he, since he has taken to running.
Me, I stil bit judgemental abt my teacher. I wonder if it cld be beauty, she getting the appreciation. We'll, I guess my mind was on P. Jus now meditation I tot of him too, but I quickly waived it aside, cos he won't be able to fit into my passion in terms of food, money and ease of life. He is into a life of service. When I was sitting in the LRT, I observed that my nose is more prosperous than most people so my chance of living a luxurious life is much higher vs others.
In tune wit Infinite
As we recognise we have it in our hands to open ourselves more fully into this Infinite Power and call upon It to manifest Itself in and through us, we will find in ourselves an ever increasing sense of power.
Then the fears and forebodings that have dominated us in the past will be transmuted into faith, and faith when rightly understood and rightly used is a force before which nothing can stand.
In the degree we work in conjunction wit the Infinite Power do we need the less to concern ourselves abt results.
To live in the full realisation of this fact and all that attends it brings peace, a full, rich, abiding peace that makes the present complete.
In the face of turmoil, we can realise and say -
I stay my haste, I make delays,
For what avails this eager pace?
I stand amid eternal ways,
And what is mine shall know my face.
Asleep, awake, by night or day,
The friends I seek are seeking me;
No wind can drive my bark astray,
Nor change the tide of destiny.
The waters know their own, and draw
The brooks that spring in yonder heights;
So flows the good with equal law
Unto the soul of pure delight.
The stars come nightly to the sky;
The tidal wave unto the sea;
Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high
Can keep my own away from me.
Soul - yea, my focus is now on my husband. So, work wise, I can live wit it first. I don't wan the work to take precedent. After my next bday, what job I wan will materialise. For now, my focus on my Top 5 passion - my happiness, my husband and my house wit a coffee brewer.
In tune wit Infinite
Whatever can't be done in the physical can be done in the spiritual. And in direct proportion as a man recognises himself as spirit and lives accordingly, is he able to transcend in power the man who recognises himself merely as material.
When we have found this Centre within us, then that beautiful simplicity, at once the charm and the power of a truly great personality, enters into our lives. Then all striving for effect, - that sure indicator of weakness and a lack of genuine power is absent.
The striving for effect that is so common is always an indicator of a lack of something.
The author who writes not wit the thought of having what he writes become literature but he writes wit the sole thought of reaching the hearts of the people, giving them something of vital value, something that will broaden, sweeten, enrich their life; that will lead them to the finding of the higher life and wit it the higher powers and the higher joys. It most always happens, however, that if he succeeds in thus reaching the people, the becoming literature part take care of itself.
Soul - first tot of my blog. I write journal firstly for release. I blog because my journal has been a great help in my spiritual journey and I hav read n written many great works of the Master/Guide and tot it can help those people, especially those who don't read much. I already got the 'valueable' part for them. Then I tot of my passion list No. 10;
10. I am writing a book of my life - The journey of becoming whole again
So, I can't say I don't hav any intention, smile.
In tune wit Infinite
As long as u live merely in the physical and the intellectual, u set limitations to urself that will hold u as long as u so live.
When, however, u come into the realisation of your oneness with the Infinite Life and Power, and open urself that it may work through you, u will find that u hav entered upon an entirely new phase of life, and that an ever increasing power will be yours.
Soul - true. New beginning. I m now creating the Life that I desire.
In tune wit Infinite
We can be our own best friends or we can be our own worst enemies. In the degree that we become friends to the highest and best within us, we become friends to all; and vice versa.
In the degree that we open ourselves to the highest powers and let them manifest through us, then by the very inspirations we carry wit us do we become in sense the saviours of our fellow-men, and in this way we all are, or may become, the saviours one of another. In this way, you may become, indeed, one of the world's redeemers.
Soul - I hav not been able to influence or impress people to see their Inner truth to access Inner Light. I wonder but nowadays m not bothered. Let me create the life I wan and my Top 5 passion is jus me and my husband. So, let me handle my life first.
In tune wit Infinite
When apparent adversity comes, be not cast by it, but make the best of it, and always look forward for better things, for conditions more prosperous.
Never give a moment to complaint, but utilise the time that would otherwise be spent in this way in looking forward and actualising the conditions u desire.
Suggest prosperity to urself. See urself in a prosperous condition. Affirm calmly, quietly, but strongly n confidently that u will before long be in a prosperous condition.
Believe it absolutely, expect it. Keep it continually watered wit expectation. You thus make urself a magnet to attract the things that u desire.
Soul - after reading the Destiny card, I become more reassured n look forward. From today onward, on daily basis will send a msg to Universe on my passion.
Jus read thru my Top 5 again
I m content to let go of my self image, let go of personality
Coincidentally, I jus bought the audio cd by Sadhguru - on dissolving personality.
I also saw that in terms of prioritisation of when m feelin loved n appreciated
1. Husband
2. Working people I like
3. Working on my forte
4. Working on balanced time.
Perhaps, my husband wil support me of my plan to make the transformation. For now, he wil be my soil.
In tune wit Infinite
Don't fold ur hands and expect to see things drop into ur lap, but set into operation the higher forces and then take hold of the first thing that offer itself.
Soul - tot of my Osho card, trust God's Will but do ur part first. I wil do the adv.
Today, a new day. I m wearing hanging earrings n it looks good. I always tot I got diamond earring n mean to wear studs. Infact I hav tried many earrings but it doesn't look nice. This one selected by my good friend and it does look nice and also first time buy without disc. The earring gave me a feminine and sexy look, more inviting. A new beginning :)
Jus now when I did shakti, for the first time in mths, I don't have to get up every session, my legs were fine. I only got up 3 times instead of 7 times, cut by half. This shows the hatha yoga is helping.
In tune wit Infinite
Live in mind in a palace and gradually palatial surroundings will gravitate towards u.
Living is not pining or longing or complainingly wishing. It is when u r down in the world, u calmly and persistently seeing urself as up.
Soul - I have always imagine n know m meant to live a life of ease and luxury. That's why I always at ease wit rich people. And I always know my husband is rich and wil support me in my endeavour - my soil. I wil support him by giving him love and joy and a home to come back to. I am his sanctuary and he is my soil. For me, my sanctuary is within me, is wit God.
Soul - in terms of financial wholeness, I m fine. But in terms of loving rship or beautiful woman, I am not that good as feeling of envy arise previously. But now I can hold my own.
In tune wit Infinite.
Faith, absolute dogmatic faith, is the only law of true success or his failure wit him.
Soul - was lookin thru my Passion List n noted that health is not there.
Evenin
My fellow inner journey friend is also into manifestation. Timely. M glad he found d connection to Universe when running. He enter via appreciation.
He told me that m slimmer now. So is he, since he has taken to running.
Me, I stil bit judgemental abt my teacher. I wonder if it cld be beauty, she getting the appreciation. We'll, I guess my mind was on P. Jus now meditation I tot of him too, but I quickly waived it aside, cos he won't be able to fit into my passion in terms of food, money and ease of life. He is into a life of service. When I was sitting in the LRT, I observed that my nose is more prosperous than most people so my chance of living a luxurious life is much higher vs others.
In tune wit Infinite
As we recognise we have it in our hands to open ourselves more fully into this Infinite Power and call upon It to manifest Itself in and through us, we will find in ourselves an ever increasing sense of power.
Then the fears and forebodings that have dominated us in the past will be transmuted into faith, and faith when rightly understood and rightly used is a force before which nothing can stand.
In the degree we work in conjunction wit the Infinite Power do we need the less to concern ourselves abt results.
To live in the full realisation of this fact and all that attends it brings peace, a full, rich, abiding peace that makes the present complete.
In the face of turmoil, we can realise and say -
I stay my haste, I make delays,
For what avails this eager pace?
I stand amid eternal ways,
And what is mine shall know my face.
Asleep, awake, by night or day,
The friends I seek are seeking me;
No wind can drive my bark astray,
Nor change the tide of destiny.
The waters know their own, and draw
The brooks that spring in yonder heights;
So flows the good with equal law
Unto the soul of pure delight.
The stars come nightly to the sky;
The tidal wave unto the sea;
Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high
Can keep my own away from me.
Soul - yea, my focus is now on my husband. So, work wise, I can live wit it first. I don't wan the work to take precedent. After my next bday, what job I wan will materialise. For now, my focus on my Top 5 passion - my happiness, my husband and my house wit a coffee brewer.
In tune wit Infinite
Whatever can't be done in the physical can be done in the spiritual. And in direct proportion as a man recognises himself as spirit and lives accordingly, is he able to transcend in power the man who recognises himself merely as material.
When we have found this Centre within us, then that beautiful simplicity, at once the charm and the power of a truly great personality, enters into our lives. Then all striving for effect, - that sure indicator of weakness and a lack of genuine power is absent.
The striving for effect that is so common is always an indicator of a lack of something.
The author who writes not wit the thought of having what he writes become literature but he writes wit the sole thought of reaching the hearts of the people, giving them something of vital value, something that will broaden, sweeten, enrich their life; that will lead them to the finding of the higher life and wit it the higher powers and the higher joys. It most always happens, however, that if he succeeds in thus reaching the people, the becoming literature part take care of itself.
Soul - first tot of my blog. I write journal firstly for release. I blog because my journal has been a great help in my spiritual journey and I hav read n written many great works of the Master/Guide and tot it can help those people, especially those who don't read much. I already got the 'valueable' part for them. Then I tot of my passion list No. 10;
10. I am writing a book of my life - The journey of becoming whole again
So, I can't say I don't hav any intention, smile.
In tune wit Infinite
As long as u live merely in the physical and the intellectual, u set limitations to urself that will hold u as long as u so live.
When, however, u come into the realisation of your oneness with the Infinite Life and Power, and open urself that it may work through you, u will find that u hav entered upon an entirely new phase of life, and that an ever increasing power will be yours.
Soul - true. New beginning. I m now creating the Life that I desire.
In tune wit Infinite
We can be our own best friends or we can be our own worst enemies. In the degree that we become friends to the highest and best within us, we become friends to all; and vice versa.
In the degree that we open ourselves to the highest powers and let them manifest through us, then by the very inspirations we carry wit us do we become in sense the saviours of our fellow-men, and in this way we all are, or may become, the saviours one of another. In this way, you may become, indeed, one of the world's redeemers.
Soul - I hav not been able to influence or impress people to see their Inner truth to access Inner Light. I wonder but nowadays m not bothered. Let me create the life I wan and my Top 5 passion is jus me and my husband. So, let me handle my life first.
Hatha yoga is lovely
Nov 1
Jus finished d hatha yoga program. I was surprised, all also can do. Even d resting leg on shoulder also can do. I manage to rest my feet behind my face. Something that I hav never been able to do.
Tina is right, d hatha yoga is so joyful, like Teethakoon.
I laugh wit joy after every session.
I will practise, firstly for physical health and secondly I enjoyed it.
Good that they give program. So, from now on another half an hour earlier to wake up.
On the yoga, the one giving me tears was those involving stomach muscle. The shoulder stand, amazingly I can finally rest my feet to the other hand.
Also the sitting postures, surprising I can do.
Saw the meditators in Singapore. At first tot these people has no outside life apart from Isha and besides their place is nicely renovated and aircond. Its true I don't volunteer - touch people lives.
5 Diamond - Pluto card
Internal change in ur basic value system that will result in many important external changes in ur life.
I am challenged and transformed in making necessary and important changes in my life. My values are changing in order for me to make personal change and professional progress.
Eight of Hearts result card
Developing ur charm and personal power wit those around u. Developing this may not be easy, as it may require important changes in the way you communicate. It will, however, be well worth the effort.
I develop power among my friends, associates, and the public. I accumulate personal love power this year.
Ten of Hearts
I am surrounded by the love and admiration of people. I have success with groups and the public and enjoy much popularity.
Evenin
Meeting my good friend in Singapore at this time is meant to be. She showed me my destiny card n it point to the things I have been pondering (Queen of Diamond) and things I m trying to manifest (Ace of diamond)
1. My internal value has changed n m pondering if I shld changed my external values
2. Me leading sathsang.
3. Me manifesting my loving partner.
I admit my faith was wavering and the destiny card helped to restore my faith. Also the environment cards for both is 4 spade (mental stability) and 8 heart.
In my Top 3, both also hav my partner. According to Ace of diamond card, I will either be married or in a loving rship before my next birthday.
It also said abt my inner value has changed n I wan to change my external circumstances.
In tune wit Infinite
He who lives in the realisation of his oneness wit this Infinite Power becomes a magnet to attract himself a continual supply of whatsoever things he desires.
When one comes into the realisation of these higher laws, then the fear of want ceases to tyrannise over him.
Jus finished d hatha yoga program. I was surprised, all also can do. Even d resting leg on shoulder also can do. I manage to rest my feet behind my face. Something that I hav never been able to do.
Tina is right, d hatha yoga is so joyful, like Teethakoon.
I laugh wit joy after every session.
I will practise, firstly for physical health and secondly I enjoyed it.
Good that they give program. So, from now on another half an hour earlier to wake up.
On the yoga, the one giving me tears was those involving stomach muscle. The shoulder stand, amazingly I can finally rest my feet to the other hand.
Also the sitting postures, surprising I can do.
Saw the meditators in Singapore. At first tot these people has no outside life apart from Isha and besides their place is nicely renovated and aircond. Its true I don't volunteer - touch people lives.
5 Diamond - Pluto card
Internal change in ur basic value system that will result in many important external changes in ur life.
I am challenged and transformed in making necessary and important changes in my life. My values are changing in order for me to make personal change and professional progress.
Eight of Hearts result card
Developing ur charm and personal power wit those around u. Developing this may not be easy, as it may require important changes in the way you communicate. It will, however, be well worth the effort.
I develop power among my friends, associates, and the public. I accumulate personal love power this year.
Ten of Hearts
I am surrounded by the love and admiration of people. I have success with groups and the public and enjoy much popularity.
Evenin
Meeting my good friend in Singapore at this time is meant to be. She showed me my destiny card n it point to the things I have been pondering (Queen of Diamond) and things I m trying to manifest (Ace of diamond)
1. My internal value has changed n m pondering if I shld changed my external values
2. Me leading sathsang.
3. Me manifesting my loving partner.
I admit my faith was wavering and the destiny card helped to restore my faith. Also the environment cards for both is 4 spade (mental stability) and 8 heart.
In my Top 3, both also hav my partner. According to Ace of diamond card, I will either be married or in a loving rship before my next birthday.
It also said abt my inner value has changed n I wan to change my external circumstances.
In tune wit Infinite
He who lives in the realisation of his oneness wit this Infinite Power becomes a magnet to attract himself a continual supply of whatsoever things he desires.
When one comes into the realisation of these higher laws, then the fear of want ceases to tyrannise over him.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Hatha yoga - lovely
Oct 31
Father, d yoga is real good. I experienced d sensation well. There are 2 asanas in the lying down asanas which cause me to cry;
1. The 90 and 45 degree, involving stomach muscle
2. The scorpion also.
Not sure why, both also using stomach muscle.
Father, m glad I joined d yoga. It has a different sensation altogether. Lots of steps previously I can't do, now I can. Main thing is that when on hold - to breathe normal and its seem to ease the movement even more.
Tot of joining tomorro sathsang. I wonder where they do their sathsang, Indian centre.
Mmm, my ex-staff looks better. Still thin. She has quit her ex-job n now join this IT search engine company. She said now d hours is 7.30 to 4.30 pm, so she felt better.
In tune wit the Infinite
Look deeper and you will find the very God in every human soul. But remember it takes a God to recognise a God. Christ always spoke to the highest, the truest, and the best in men. He knew and recognised the God in each becos he has first realised himself.
If u would have all the world love you, u must first love all the world. In the degree that we love, will we be loved.
When the spiritual sense is opened, then it transcends all the limitations of the physical senses and the intellect.
And the degree that we r able to get away from the limitation set by physical and intellect, and realise that so far as the real life is concerned, it is wit the Infinite Life, then we begin to reach the place where this voice always speak, where it never fail us, if we follow it.
If one is willing to trust himself fully to the Law, the Law will never fail him. It is the half-hearted trusting to it that brings uncertain, and so, unsatisfactory results.
In many ways, the interior faculties are more open and receptive while we are asleep than while we are awake. Hence the necessity of exercising even greater care as to the nature of the tots that occupy the mind as we enter into sleep, for there can come to us only what we by our own order of thought attract. We have it entirely in our own hands.
(Soul - nowadays i always listen to Sadhguru's sounds of beyond. It has happen quite often, that I wld laugh without any reason just before I sleep. I am on the right track)
Calmly send out ur ernest desire for what u want; cast out of ur mind all fears or forebodings lest it come not, for "in quietness and in confidence shall be ur strength". Take the expectant attitude of mind, firmly believing and expecting that when u awake, the desired results will be wit u.
Then on awakening, before any tot from outside world came, remain for a little while receptive to the intuitions or the impressions that come. When they come, act on them. In the degree that u do this, in that degree will the power of doing it ever more effectively grow.
(Soul - this I didnt do yet)
No good thing shall be withheld from him who lives in harmony with the higher laws and forces. There are no desires that shall not be satisfied to the one who knows and who wisely uses the powers wit which he or she is endowed.
Soul - for the past few years, I hav been listening to soothing music before I sleep n d music continue. And now I am using Brahma Nanda - on the right track. But I think can do the Passion List - Top 5.
In tune with the Infinite
In the degree, however, that we order the bodily appetites and passions in accordance with the promptings of the soul within, will the higher forms of happiness and peace enter our lives; but in the degree that we fail in doing this, wil disease, suffering and discontent enter.
To be at one with God is to be at peace.
When we come into a full realisation of our oneness with this Infinite Power, do we become calm and quiet, undisturbed by the little occurences that so vex and annoy us.
We no longer disappointed in people, for we always read them aright.
We have the power of penetrating into their very souls and seeing the underlying motives that are at work there.
As soon as we r able to read people aright, we will cease to place them on pedestals, for this can never be done without some attendant disappointment.
Soul - I wonder. I m almost 80 percent right abt people.
In tune with the Infinite
Tots of strength both build strength from within and attract it from without. Thoughts of weakness actualise weakness from within and attract it from without. Courage begets strength, fear begets weakness.
And so courage begets success, fear begets failure. It is the woman or man of faith, hence of courage, who is the master of circumstances, and who makes his or her power felt in the world.
It is the man or woman who lacks faith and who as a consequence is weakened and crippled by fears and forebodings, who is the creature of all passing occurences.
Within each one lies the cause of whatever comes to him. Each one has in his own hands determine what comes.
What one lives in his invisible, thought world, he is continually actualising in his visible, material world. If he would have any conditions different in the latter, he must make the necessary change in the former.
The true secret of power lies in keeping one's connection with the God who worketh all things; and in the degree that we keep this connection, are we able to literally to rise above every conceivable limitation.
Soul - meditation is to connect to Universe. That is why regular practise is required.
In tune wit Infinite
Don't surrender ur individuality, which is your greatest agent of power, to the customs and conventionalities that hav gotten their life from the great mass of thos who haven't enough force to preserve their individualites.
To be yourself, first, last and always.
In tune with the Infinite
To live undisturbed by passing occurrences, you must first find your own centre. You must then be firm in your own centre and so rule the world from within. Surrender it to no person, no thing and u will find yourself growing stonger and stronger in it.
You find ur centre by realising your oneness with the Infinite Power, and by living continually in this realisation.
Fear and lack of faith go hand in hand. Tell me how much one is given to fear, and I will tell you how much he lacks in faith.
In the degree that u keep young in thought, will u remain young in body. And u will find that ur body will in turn aid your mind, for body helps mind, the same as mind builds body.
Father, d yoga is real good. I experienced d sensation well. There are 2 asanas in the lying down asanas which cause me to cry;
1. The 90 and 45 degree, involving stomach muscle
2. The scorpion also.
Not sure why, both also using stomach muscle.
Father, m glad I joined d yoga. It has a different sensation altogether. Lots of steps previously I can't do, now I can. Main thing is that when on hold - to breathe normal and its seem to ease the movement even more.
Tot of joining tomorro sathsang. I wonder where they do their sathsang, Indian centre.
Mmm, my ex-staff looks better. Still thin. She has quit her ex-job n now join this IT search engine company. She said now d hours is 7.30 to 4.30 pm, so she felt better.
In tune wit the Infinite
Look deeper and you will find the very God in every human soul. But remember it takes a God to recognise a God. Christ always spoke to the highest, the truest, and the best in men. He knew and recognised the God in each becos he has first realised himself.
If u would have all the world love you, u must first love all the world. In the degree that we love, will we be loved.
When the spiritual sense is opened, then it transcends all the limitations of the physical senses and the intellect.
And the degree that we r able to get away from the limitation set by physical and intellect, and realise that so far as the real life is concerned, it is wit the Infinite Life, then we begin to reach the place where this voice always speak, where it never fail us, if we follow it.
If one is willing to trust himself fully to the Law, the Law will never fail him. It is the half-hearted trusting to it that brings uncertain, and so, unsatisfactory results.
In many ways, the interior faculties are more open and receptive while we are asleep than while we are awake. Hence the necessity of exercising even greater care as to the nature of the tots that occupy the mind as we enter into sleep, for there can come to us only what we by our own order of thought attract. We have it entirely in our own hands.
(Soul - nowadays i always listen to Sadhguru's sounds of beyond. It has happen quite often, that I wld laugh without any reason just before I sleep. I am on the right track)
Calmly send out ur ernest desire for what u want; cast out of ur mind all fears or forebodings lest it come not, for "in quietness and in confidence shall be ur strength". Take the expectant attitude of mind, firmly believing and expecting that when u awake, the desired results will be wit u.
Then on awakening, before any tot from outside world came, remain for a little while receptive to the intuitions or the impressions that come. When they come, act on them. In the degree that u do this, in that degree will the power of doing it ever more effectively grow.
(Soul - this I didnt do yet)
No good thing shall be withheld from him who lives in harmony with the higher laws and forces. There are no desires that shall not be satisfied to the one who knows and who wisely uses the powers wit which he or she is endowed.
Soul - for the past few years, I hav been listening to soothing music before I sleep n d music continue. And now I am using Brahma Nanda - on the right track. But I think can do the Passion List - Top 5.
In tune with the Infinite
In the degree, however, that we order the bodily appetites and passions in accordance with the promptings of the soul within, will the higher forms of happiness and peace enter our lives; but in the degree that we fail in doing this, wil disease, suffering and discontent enter.
To be at one with God is to be at peace.
When we come into a full realisation of our oneness with this Infinite Power, do we become calm and quiet, undisturbed by the little occurences that so vex and annoy us.
We no longer disappointed in people, for we always read them aright.
We have the power of penetrating into their very souls and seeing the underlying motives that are at work there.
As soon as we r able to read people aright, we will cease to place them on pedestals, for this can never be done without some attendant disappointment.
Soul - I wonder. I m almost 80 percent right abt people.
In tune with the Infinite
Tots of strength both build strength from within and attract it from without. Thoughts of weakness actualise weakness from within and attract it from without. Courage begets strength, fear begets weakness.
And so courage begets success, fear begets failure. It is the woman or man of faith, hence of courage, who is the master of circumstances, and who makes his or her power felt in the world.
It is the man or woman who lacks faith and who as a consequence is weakened and crippled by fears and forebodings, who is the creature of all passing occurences.
Within each one lies the cause of whatever comes to him. Each one has in his own hands determine what comes.
What one lives in his invisible, thought world, he is continually actualising in his visible, material world. If he would have any conditions different in the latter, he must make the necessary change in the former.
The true secret of power lies in keeping one's connection with the God who worketh all things; and in the degree that we keep this connection, are we able to literally to rise above every conceivable limitation.
Soul - meditation is to connect to Universe. That is why regular practise is required.
In tune wit Infinite
Don't surrender ur individuality, which is your greatest agent of power, to the customs and conventionalities that hav gotten their life from the great mass of thos who haven't enough force to preserve their individualites.
To be yourself, first, last and always.
In tune with the Infinite
To live undisturbed by passing occurrences, you must first find your own centre. You must then be firm in your own centre and so rule the world from within. Surrender it to no person, no thing and u will find yourself growing stonger and stronger in it.
You find ur centre by realising your oneness with the Infinite Power, and by living continually in this realisation.
Fear and lack of faith go hand in hand. Tell me how much one is given to fear, and I will tell you how much he lacks in faith.
In the degree that u keep young in thought, will u remain young in body. And u will find that ur body will in turn aid your mind, for body helps mind, the same as mind builds body.
Being conscious we are One with Universe
Oct 30
Father, reading the Passion Test. M glad my Passion is in the right place. My first n foremost is to be Happy n joyful and second Loved and appreciated and thirdly only partner, fourth is meditation and fifth is nature house.
This mornin, I didn't do meditation n I m fine cos now that I hav clarity on my passion, m less confused or guilt. Also none of my passion has Isha in it. Isha is jus a doorway for me. So, m also no longer fearful.
My friend asked me if d reason m doin hatha is becos of samyama. It is not, m doin becos of health n food. Of cos, food is on 6 n meditation on 4, so it is possible I will do samyama in future.
In tune wit the Infinite - Ralph Waldo Trine (1866 - 1958), written in 1897, more than 100 years ago.
Within urself lies the cause of whatever enters into ur life.
To come into the full realisation of ur own awakened interior powers, is able to condition ur life in exact accord wit what u would have it.
In the degree that thought is spiritualised does it become more subtle and powerful in its workings.
This spiritualising is in accordance with law and is within the power of all.
The realm of the unseen is the realm of cause.
The realm of the seen is the realm of effect.
There is an Infinite Spirit of Life back of all, the life of all, and so, from which all comes, and then the life of individual man, ur life n mine, must come by a divine inflow from this Infinite Source.
And if that is true, we wld hav the same essence. The only difference is in degree. If this is true, does it not then follow that in the degree that man opens himself to this divine inflow, does he approach God, n hence God-powers.
And if God-powers are without limit, does it not then follow that the only limitations man has are the limitations he sets to himself, by virtue of not knowing himself?
The great central fact in human life, in ur life and in mine, is the coming into a conscious, vital realisation of our oneness with this Infinite Life, and the opening of ourselves fully to this divine inflow.
The degree we open up, do we make it possible for the higher powers to play, to work, to manifest through us.
Soul
I was thinkin of how to go to cousin place. Was hoping for an economy ride. Surprisingly n gladly, cousin call to tell me the best ride is the bus.
In tune with the Infinite
Determine resolutely to expect only what u desire, then u will attract only what u wish for.
Thoughts are our private property and we can regulate them to suit our taste entirely by steadily recognising our ability to do so.
Faith is nothing more nor less than the operation of the thought forces in the form of an ernest desire, coupled wit expectation as to its fulfillment.
Continually held to and continually watered by firm expectation, it becomes a force, a drawing power that is irresistable and absolute, and the results will be absolute in direct proportion as it is absolute.
The great secret of life and power is to make and keep one's conscious connection with his Infinite Source.
Fear and worry have the effect of closing up the channels of the body, so that the life forces flow in a slow and sluggish manner. Hope and tranquility open the channels of the body, so that the life forces go bounding through it in such a way that disease can rarely get a foothold.
Soul - was jus thinkin that Universe is guiding me very closely. M stil readin The Passion but brought the thinner book In tune wit Intuitive, and d msg is loud n clear - to be committed / hav faith (desire and expect) on my Passion.
I m thinkin also of my passion No. 4 of being in meditation anytime anywhere, wit eyes open. Jus tot that means m opening n connecting to the Universe every single time whenever, wherever I wan to.
Jus now I prayed for the hatha yoga to open up whatever channel that is still closed. Amen. U lead me so far, I trust U.
Now reading the Power of Now in my journal
Accepting means you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at that moment. It is part of the is-ness of the Now. You can't argue with what is. If you do, you suffer.
Thru allowing, you become what you are, vast, spacious, whole n u no longer a fragment anymore
Soul - my close friend said that she is envious of my Allowing. I m now mostly in allowing state.
The Power of Now
When u allow the forms of the moment (good/bad) to be as it is, u won't become a participant in human drama.
When u r completely at one with what happens, then what happens has no power over you anymore. Events are not personalised.
Only if you resist what happens, are you at the mercy of what happens, and the world will determine your happiness or unhappiness.
Life will be what you see of it - as a friend, obstacle, problem, enemy
Once you have decided u wan the present moment to be your friend, be friendly towards it, welcomes it no matter in what disquise it comes and soon you will see the result.
But the one decision, you will have to make again and again - until it becomes natural to live in such a way.
The decision to make the present moment your friend, is the end of ego.
Ego's nature is to ignore, resist or devalue Now. Time is where ego lives on, in the past or future.
The first step is to be friendly to the present so that we can welcome being awaken. When we awaken, our action is effective as there is no contamination by the ego.
People believe themselves to be dependent on what happens for their happiness, that is to say, dependent on form. They don't realise that what happens is the most UNSTABLE thing in the universe. It changes constantly.
The joy of Being, which is the only true happiness, CANNOT come TO you through any form, possession, achievement, person or event - thru anything that happens. The joy emanates from the formless dimension WITHIN you, from consciousness itself.
You cannot manifest what you want. You can only manifest what you already have.
Father, reading the Passion Test. M glad my Passion is in the right place. My first n foremost is to be Happy n joyful and second Loved and appreciated and thirdly only partner, fourth is meditation and fifth is nature house.
This mornin, I didn't do meditation n I m fine cos now that I hav clarity on my passion, m less confused or guilt. Also none of my passion has Isha in it. Isha is jus a doorway for me. So, m also no longer fearful.
My friend asked me if d reason m doin hatha is becos of samyama. It is not, m doin becos of health n food. Of cos, food is on 6 n meditation on 4, so it is possible I will do samyama in future.
In tune wit the Infinite - Ralph Waldo Trine (1866 - 1958), written in 1897, more than 100 years ago.
Within urself lies the cause of whatever enters into ur life.
To come into the full realisation of ur own awakened interior powers, is able to condition ur life in exact accord wit what u would have it.
In the degree that thought is spiritualised does it become more subtle and powerful in its workings.
This spiritualising is in accordance with law and is within the power of all.
The realm of the unseen is the realm of cause.
The realm of the seen is the realm of effect.
There is an Infinite Spirit of Life back of all, the life of all, and so, from which all comes, and then the life of individual man, ur life n mine, must come by a divine inflow from this Infinite Source.
And if that is true, we wld hav the same essence. The only difference is in degree. If this is true, does it not then follow that in the degree that man opens himself to this divine inflow, does he approach God, n hence God-powers.
And if God-powers are without limit, does it not then follow that the only limitations man has are the limitations he sets to himself, by virtue of not knowing himself?
The great central fact in human life, in ur life and in mine, is the coming into a conscious, vital realisation of our oneness with this Infinite Life, and the opening of ourselves fully to this divine inflow.
The degree we open up, do we make it possible for the higher powers to play, to work, to manifest through us.
Soul
I was thinkin of how to go to cousin place. Was hoping for an economy ride. Surprisingly n gladly, cousin call to tell me the best ride is the bus.
In tune with the Infinite
Determine resolutely to expect only what u desire, then u will attract only what u wish for.
Thoughts are our private property and we can regulate them to suit our taste entirely by steadily recognising our ability to do so.
Faith is nothing more nor less than the operation of the thought forces in the form of an ernest desire, coupled wit expectation as to its fulfillment.
Continually held to and continually watered by firm expectation, it becomes a force, a drawing power that is irresistable and absolute, and the results will be absolute in direct proportion as it is absolute.
The great secret of life and power is to make and keep one's conscious connection with his Infinite Source.
Fear and worry have the effect of closing up the channels of the body, so that the life forces flow in a slow and sluggish manner. Hope and tranquility open the channels of the body, so that the life forces go bounding through it in such a way that disease can rarely get a foothold.
Soul - was jus thinkin that Universe is guiding me very closely. M stil readin The Passion but brought the thinner book In tune wit Intuitive, and d msg is loud n clear - to be committed / hav faith (desire and expect) on my Passion.
I m thinkin also of my passion No. 4 of being in meditation anytime anywhere, wit eyes open. Jus tot that means m opening n connecting to the Universe every single time whenever, wherever I wan to.
Jus now I prayed for the hatha yoga to open up whatever channel that is still closed. Amen. U lead me so far, I trust U.
Now reading the Power of Now in my journal
Accepting means you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at that moment. It is part of the is-ness of the Now. You can't argue with what is. If you do, you suffer.
Thru allowing, you become what you are, vast, spacious, whole n u no longer a fragment anymore
Soul - my close friend said that she is envious of my Allowing. I m now mostly in allowing state.
The Power of Now
When u allow the forms of the moment (good/bad) to be as it is, u won't become a participant in human drama.
When u r completely at one with what happens, then what happens has no power over you anymore. Events are not personalised.
Only if you resist what happens, are you at the mercy of what happens, and the world will determine your happiness or unhappiness.
Life will be what you see of it - as a friend, obstacle, problem, enemy
Once you have decided u wan the present moment to be your friend, be friendly towards it, welcomes it no matter in what disquise it comes and soon you will see the result.
But the one decision, you will have to make again and again - until it becomes natural to live in such a way.
The decision to make the present moment your friend, is the end of ego.
Ego's nature is to ignore, resist or devalue Now. Time is where ego lives on, in the past or future.
The first step is to be friendly to the present so that we can welcome being awaken. When we awaken, our action is effective as there is no contamination by the ego.
People believe themselves to be dependent on what happens for their happiness, that is to say, dependent on form. They don't realise that what happens is the most UNSTABLE thing in the universe. It changes constantly.
The joy of Being, which is the only true happiness, CANNOT come TO you through any form, possession, achievement, person or event - thru anything that happens. The joy emanates from the formless dimension WITHIN you, from consciousness itself.
You cannot manifest what you want. You can only manifest what you already have.
Letting passion unfold
Oct 29
This mornin, woke up n tot maybe I shld do samyama before I embark on quitting corporate world.
Or maybe not, this week jus be patient n see d results of d blood test and ultra sound next week.
Will do yoga to release the stress.
Yday, reading Sadhguru, abt being straight wit life; don't recall reading that
Before.
Even without samyama, my perception has changed.
Jus looked at my Top 5 Passions again, lovely brewed coffee is mentioned a few times. Father, I wan to hav a coffee brew machine, send me one.
The Passion Test
When u r aligned with ur deepest, most important passions, the ups and downs of daily life won't be able to throw u off track.
Soul - isn't it ironic. I hav always said no to the Himalayan tracks. Saying that m not into it as d places are full of temple, no good food, besides lots of physical. So definitely not my cup of tea. Infact, if hav to choose. I wld choose Samyama over Himalayan.
And here in the Passion Test, the author journey is to Himalayan. Reminds me when I faced huge resistance to guru pooja and then Eat Pray n Love has d chapter on guru pooja n let down my resistance. I wonder if this book will do that :)
The Passion Test
Aghori
The pursuit of powers was a waste of life.
Let man seek realisation of the Self, then whatever powers he may want will be his.
You are not ur body. The reality of my life transcends the physical form of my body. When I let go of the identification wit the body, I open myself to the unbounded awareness of Pure Self. This is the domain of bliss, of real fulfillment in life.
Passion leads to fulfillment by helping us to become more intimately connected wit our deepest nature.
That's why we say ur passion are the clues to ur personal destiny.
Ultimately ur destiny is the spontaneous expression of ur pure Self expressed through ur individual life.
When u follow the path of your Passions, you will find support coming from places u could never have imagined. Your job is to do the best that u can wit what u have and be open to all the good that comes to u from those unexpected places.
Be alert, sometimes the good coming to u may be disguised as something apparently undesirable. When this happens, stay open to see where the good is coming within the discomfort.
Janet
I learned what is truly possible when u allow urself to give in fully to going for what u love.
I learned that money will show up when and as it is needed.
I learned how important it is to let go of one own's concepts of how one's passions will get fulfilled and to stay open to the ways life is appearing
I learned that obstacles and challenges along the way simply don't matter when u feel the fire of passion inside - with that fire, nothing can stop u.
I learned once again that God is good and God is everything. When I am willing to let go of my will and open to God's will, meaning, the way life is unfolding, then life becomes an incredible adventure and consistently fulfilling.
Oct 29 Evenin
The Passion Test
When u realise that every single thing you experience in life has some benefit to offer you, you will discover that there is no longer anything to fight against or to be defensive about.
Not only that, u will discover that people, situations and resources are drawn to you in ways u could never have predicted. This is when life becomes magical.
Nani Ma
The way to create whatever u wan in life is by giving it to other people. Sometimes people think they want money, husband or children, but nobody really wants anything except happiness. The pursuit of all the other things is only for the sake of happiness.
The way to hav happiness is to give what u wan to have.
On the relative plane, life is jus like a mirror. Whatever u do, that is what u will receive.
To receive love, to be happy and successful in life, we have to be open.
We have to open our hearts, open ourselves, everything will flow to us.
And we mus be committed, otherwise we r spread out n then d power is lost.
This mornin, woke up n tot maybe I shld do samyama before I embark on quitting corporate world.
Or maybe not, this week jus be patient n see d results of d blood test and ultra sound next week.
Will do yoga to release the stress.
Yday, reading Sadhguru, abt being straight wit life; don't recall reading that
Before.
Even without samyama, my perception has changed.
Jus looked at my Top 5 Passions again, lovely brewed coffee is mentioned a few times. Father, I wan to hav a coffee brew machine, send me one.
The Passion Test
When u r aligned with ur deepest, most important passions, the ups and downs of daily life won't be able to throw u off track.
Soul - isn't it ironic. I hav always said no to the Himalayan tracks. Saying that m not into it as d places are full of temple, no good food, besides lots of physical. So definitely not my cup of tea. Infact, if hav to choose. I wld choose Samyama over Himalayan.
And here in the Passion Test, the author journey is to Himalayan. Reminds me when I faced huge resistance to guru pooja and then Eat Pray n Love has d chapter on guru pooja n let down my resistance. I wonder if this book will do that :)
The Passion Test
Aghori
The pursuit of powers was a waste of life.
Let man seek realisation of the Self, then whatever powers he may want will be his.
You are not ur body. The reality of my life transcends the physical form of my body. When I let go of the identification wit the body, I open myself to the unbounded awareness of Pure Self. This is the domain of bliss, of real fulfillment in life.
Passion leads to fulfillment by helping us to become more intimately connected wit our deepest nature.
That's why we say ur passion are the clues to ur personal destiny.
Ultimately ur destiny is the spontaneous expression of ur pure Self expressed through ur individual life.
When u follow the path of your Passions, you will find support coming from places u could never have imagined. Your job is to do the best that u can wit what u have and be open to all the good that comes to u from those unexpected places.
Be alert, sometimes the good coming to u may be disguised as something apparently undesirable. When this happens, stay open to see where the good is coming within the discomfort.
Janet
I learned what is truly possible when u allow urself to give in fully to going for what u love.
I learned that money will show up when and as it is needed.
I learned how important it is to let go of one own's concepts of how one's passions will get fulfilled and to stay open to the ways life is appearing
I learned that obstacles and challenges along the way simply don't matter when u feel the fire of passion inside - with that fire, nothing can stop u.
I learned once again that God is good and God is everything. When I am willing to let go of my will and open to God's will, meaning, the way life is unfolding, then life becomes an incredible adventure and consistently fulfilling.
Oct 29 Evenin
The Passion Test
When u realise that every single thing you experience in life has some benefit to offer you, you will discover that there is no longer anything to fight against or to be defensive about.
Not only that, u will discover that people, situations and resources are drawn to you in ways u could never have predicted. This is when life becomes magical.
Nani Ma
The way to create whatever u wan in life is by giving it to other people. Sometimes people think they want money, husband or children, but nobody really wants anything except happiness. The pursuit of all the other things is only for the sake of happiness.
The way to hav happiness is to give what u wan to have.
On the relative plane, life is jus like a mirror. Whatever u do, that is what u will receive.
To receive love, to be happy and successful in life, we have to be open.
We have to open our hearts, open ourselves, everything will flow to us.
And we mus be committed, otherwise we r spread out n then d power is lost.
I m my own friend
Oct 27 (afternoon)
Osho for d week
1. Issue - slowing down
Meditation is a kind of medicine - its use only for the time being. Once u learned d quality, then u need not do any particular meditation.
Each moment, one has to be at ease wit oneself - not trying to improve, not cultivating anything, not practising.
There is no need to anythin but rest in ur fullness.
Soul - I hav decided that I only do meditation when I wan to on Sunday.
Also, finally a rest mth for me. Aug and Nov is the 2 best times.
Of cos, my ego was wondering what to do and I m totally fine. Tot of happily goin off at 6 pm to do hair but got party tonite.
Jus now wrote to ex-boss to keep me in mind for job offers. I admitted to him, that askin such favour may not be appropriate considering I m not his contacts.
Also chk out on Nigeria, scary - cannot go lah. I went to India, I was protected in Ashram. So, didn't proceed.
Let me jus savour - 6 mths is not a short time.
Also reminds myself of my Top 5 passion doesn include job.
2. Internal - Innocence
This will be a crucifixion of the persona, the personality, and there will be a resurrection of ur innocence. You will become a child again, reborn.
There is a sense of grace surrounding hin, as if he is at home with himself and with what life has brought.
Soul - my tot exactly. I m contented this mth. It is true I don't like my job, but I can live wit it n as long I can hav balance hours to do my thingy, I hav no complaints.
3. External - Patience
In silence n waiting, something inside u goes on growing - ur authentic being. And one one day, it jumps and becomes a flame, and ur whole personality is shattered; you are new man.
And this new man knows what ceremony is, this new man knows life's eternal juices.
The only thing to do is wait. The seed has been planted.
Contented, wit no trace of anxiety, she is simply waiting, jus let nature take the course.
Soul - yep. M lookin into relaxing. Its true, I hav grown fat, but I know I look good. So, let it be.
4. What is needed for resolution - Participation.
Make participation ur lifestyle and the whole existence becomes such a joy, such an ecstasy. You cld not have dreamed of a better universe.
Soul - firstly tot of Isha program. Secondly tot of d adv.
5. The resolution - Aloneness
Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive, overflowing presence n hence there is no need for anybody.
When there is no significant other, we can either be lonely or enjoy the freedom that solitudes brings.
When we find no support among others for our deeply felt truths, we can either feel isolated and bitter or celebrate the fact that our vision is strong enough even to survive the powerful human need for the approval of family, friends and colleagues.
Be a light unto urself.
Ultimately, each of us must devekop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions, maps or guide.
Soul - m alone without any other, and no one to share my truths as even close has dropped off and I am fine.
There is no one at the office wit me. I am also bit reluctant to adv cos I enjoy being alone also.
Will do so next mth, no rush.
Just let things unfold on its own timing.
Amen
Osho for d week
1. Issue - slowing down
Meditation is a kind of medicine - its use only for the time being. Once u learned d quality, then u need not do any particular meditation.
Each moment, one has to be at ease wit oneself - not trying to improve, not cultivating anything, not practising.
There is no need to anythin but rest in ur fullness.
Soul - I hav decided that I only do meditation when I wan to on Sunday.
Also, finally a rest mth for me. Aug and Nov is the 2 best times.
Of cos, my ego was wondering what to do and I m totally fine. Tot of happily goin off at 6 pm to do hair but got party tonite.
Jus now wrote to ex-boss to keep me in mind for job offers. I admitted to him, that askin such favour may not be appropriate considering I m not his contacts.
Also chk out on Nigeria, scary - cannot go lah. I went to India, I was protected in Ashram. So, didn't proceed.
Let me jus savour - 6 mths is not a short time.
Also reminds myself of my Top 5 passion doesn include job.
2. Internal - Innocence
This will be a crucifixion of the persona, the personality, and there will be a resurrection of ur innocence. You will become a child again, reborn.
There is a sense of grace surrounding hin, as if he is at home with himself and with what life has brought.
Soul - my tot exactly. I m contented this mth. It is true I don't like my job, but I can live wit it n as long I can hav balance hours to do my thingy, I hav no complaints.
3. External - Patience
In silence n waiting, something inside u goes on growing - ur authentic being. And one one day, it jumps and becomes a flame, and ur whole personality is shattered; you are new man.
And this new man knows what ceremony is, this new man knows life's eternal juices.
The only thing to do is wait. The seed has been planted.
Contented, wit no trace of anxiety, she is simply waiting, jus let nature take the course.
Soul - yep. M lookin into relaxing. Its true, I hav grown fat, but I know I look good. So, let it be.
4. What is needed for resolution - Participation.
Make participation ur lifestyle and the whole existence becomes such a joy, such an ecstasy. You cld not have dreamed of a better universe.
Soul - firstly tot of Isha program. Secondly tot of d adv.
5. The resolution - Aloneness
Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive, overflowing presence n hence there is no need for anybody.
When there is no significant other, we can either be lonely or enjoy the freedom that solitudes brings.
When we find no support among others for our deeply felt truths, we can either feel isolated and bitter or celebrate the fact that our vision is strong enough even to survive the powerful human need for the approval of family, friends and colleagues.
Be a light unto urself.
Ultimately, each of us must devekop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions, maps or guide.
Soul - m alone without any other, and no one to share my truths as even close has dropped off and I am fine.
There is no one at the office wit me. I am also bit reluctant to adv cos I enjoy being alone also.
Will do so next mth, no rush.
Just let things unfold on its own timing.
Amen
Self appreciation???
Oct 27
Allow Regional CFO to push for Budget and allow me to say no.
Allow fellow meditator to tease me n allow me to say no.
I am my own authority. I cannot stop them and neither should I stop myself.
The Passion Test
At ur 100th birthday, there will be a speech honoring u.
What is the legacy u wan to create in ur life?
How do u wan people to remember u?
The birthday speech is ur chance to express the reason u were put on earth. To describe how u have given, are giving and will continue to give ur gifts to the world
Write it down and see how it makes u feel.
It is your tots, dreams and visions
All the abv exercise in this book have one purpose in mind; to create clarity abt what u would really like ur life to be.
Fire at Bapuji"s house
How can it be possibly be a blessing for ur belongings to go up in smoke.
Bapuji and his family understand that for the new one to be created, the old must be destroyed. Because life is constantly evolving, hanging on to the old may prevent the new from coming in.
Soul - yea, my time has come. My current company has fulfilled its purpose. I wan to manifest a job that has people I like n respect, job spec that is using my forte and working hours that r flexi to allow me time for dating and meditation. If can since m dating quite frequently, to have a meditation room. My pay will be 30% more than current pay and its comes wit a fully maintained company car.
2nd time tot came to write to ex-boss. So, will follow thru.
The Passion Test
All acts of creation and destruction is act of God. There can be no tot of victim, for they know all act of God's are blessings.
Soul - yeap, suffering is blessing in disguise. Its becos of the company's stressful life that ensure my full commitment to meditation. And now that its ingrated in me, and I no longer need the added motivation, I can move on to the next phase of my life
I am no longer fearful. I look forward to my manifestation and I m allowing all good things to happen to me in my new job.
I admit I m still wondering how my partner will materialise. I wan KJ n d nature house but m not sure if I am curtailing myself n set wrong expectaion.
The Passion Test
The "how" of living your passions is the result of being aligned wit the flow of natural law, with ur "Higher Self".
When someone is havin a hard time believing they could fulfill their passions is a good ol' case of "low self esteen".
Do the Appreciation game
Every day review ur day and somehow find something that u appreciated abt urself.
U can do it in the mornin or the evening. Make a list of 10 things u appreciate abt urself; what u accomplished, wins that showed up in ur life.
It didn't matter if it seemed like a small thing.
Don't repeat any of the things that were on ur list on previous days.
Soul - my 2nd passion feeling loved and appreciated. I always tot I hav to appreciate myself. While I do self promote and congrats myself for job well done, in the same tone, I too judged myself, at time harshly. I m not sure what is appreciation. To me, is jus thanking someone for doing me a favour, giving me more than a normal thing.
The Passion Test
Give ur attention to what do right, to ur wins, to the things u do well. You will find ur improvement is faster and much greater than when u try to fix ur mistakes.
Soul - I think I gav myself a pat on work but when it comes to rship, m always tryin to fix my mistakes.
The Passion Test
Key principles essential to living a passionate life
1. Commitment.
Until u r committed, nothing will happen.
Be committed but prepared to be flexible
2. Clarity
When u r clear, what u want will show up in ur life, and only to the extent that u r clear.
Gaining clarity is not a one-time process, its on-going. Take at least every 6 mths Review ur Markers n Passion Pages at least once a year.
3. Attention
What u put ur attention on grow stronger in ur life.
Soul - I tot of I can put my adv. To show my intention to the Universe. It doesnt mean I m lookin for internet men, who disappoints me. Mmm, again fear of rejection, failure. Jus becos I failed previously, doesn mean I fail now. Do admit that I was not ready n d guys that come were not my required partner. So is fine.
Let's see where my new energy will attract. Its a good test.
4. Stay open
Your greatest good may not be what u think it is.
When u release ur individual will, and open up to God's Will for u. This is also the secret to overcoming obstacles. When disaster strikes, take advantage of d opportunities that inevitably presents itself.
Soul - suddenly tot of Africa again. M ready for adventure. I can put in my life map, my years in Africa.
5. Integrity
Be true to urself as u r to others and as to others as u are to urself.
The biggest challenge most of us face is to meet our responsibilities to others while pursuing our passions at the same time.
Be true to urself, and when in doubt, practice Follow ur Heart.
6. Persistence
Many people begin the journey. Those who finish it are the ones who achieve success and fulfillement in life.
When u r living life truly aligned wit ur passions, persistence is not hard. You will find you can't stop even if u want to. Your deepest passion will drive u inspite of urself.
Soul - definitely for isha meditation. And I realised partner is what I really wan, eventhough I resist, reject, put in back burner out of fear, pride and etc. I came back to it. This time will follow it thru wit my support from Universe. And if my fear comes up, I will meditate.
7. Follow ur Heart
Passion emerges from the heart, not from ur mind.
Do what u love, follow ur Heart's direction and the path to fulfillment in life will naturally unfold before u.
My 7thunder card for today - 4 of Hearts
Sign of protection in love, marriage and fanily
It represents one's marriage and the foundation of love upon which a family and life can be built
It is the home of the Heart.
Father, thank u.
Allow Regional CFO to push for Budget and allow me to say no.
Allow fellow meditator to tease me n allow me to say no.
I am my own authority. I cannot stop them and neither should I stop myself.
The Passion Test
At ur 100th birthday, there will be a speech honoring u.
What is the legacy u wan to create in ur life?
How do u wan people to remember u?
The birthday speech is ur chance to express the reason u were put on earth. To describe how u have given, are giving and will continue to give ur gifts to the world
Write it down and see how it makes u feel.
It is your tots, dreams and visions
All the abv exercise in this book have one purpose in mind; to create clarity abt what u would really like ur life to be.
Fire at Bapuji"s house
How can it be possibly be a blessing for ur belongings to go up in smoke.
Bapuji and his family understand that for the new one to be created, the old must be destroyed. Because life is constantly evolving, hanging on to the old may prevent the new from coming in.
Soul - yea, my time has come. My current company has fulfilled its purpose. I wan to manifest a job that has people I like n respect, job spec that is using my forte and working hours that r flexi to allow me time for dating and meditation. If can since m dating quite frequently, to have a meditation room. My pay will be 30% more than current pay and its comes wit a fully maintained company car.
2nd time tot came to write to ex-boss. So, will follow thru.
The Passion Test
All acts of creation and destruction is act of God. There can be no tot of victim, for they know all act of God's are blessings.
Soul - yeap, suffering is blessing in disguise. Its becos of the company's stressful life that ensure my full commitment to meditation. And now that its ingrated in me, and I no longer need the added motivation, I can move on to the next phase of my life
I am no longer fearful. I look forward to my manifestation and I m allowing all good things to happen to me in my new job.
I admit I m still wondering how my partner will materialise. I wan KJ n d nature house but m not sure if I am curtailing myself n set wrong expectaion.
The Passion Test
The "how" of living your passions is the result of being aligned wit the flow of natural law, with ur "Higher Self".
When someone is havin a hard time believing they could fulfill their passions is a good ol' case of "low self esteen".
Do the Appreciation game
Every day review ur day and somehow find something that u appreciated abt urself.
U can do it in the mornin or the evening. Make a list of 10 things u appreciate abt urself; what u accomplished, wins that showed up in ur life.
It didn't matter if it seemed like a small thing.
Don't repeat any of the things that were on ur list on previous days.
Soul - my 2nd passion feeling loved and appreciated. I always tot I hav to appreciate myself. While I do self promote and congrats myself for job well done, in the same tone, I too judged myself, at time harshly. I m not sure what is appreciation. To me, is jus thanking someone for doing me a favour, giving me more than a normal thing.
The Passion Test
Give ur attention to what do right, to ur wins, to the things u do well. You will find ur improvement is faster and much greater than when u try to fix ur mistakes.
Soul - I think I gav myself a pat on work but when it comes to rship, m always tryin to fix my mistakes.
The Passion Test
Key principles essential to living a passionate life
1. Commitment.
Until u r committed, nothing will happen.
Be committed but prepared to be flexible
2. Clarity
When u r clear, what u want will show up in ur life, and only to the extent that u r clear.
Gaining clarity is not a one-time process, its on-going. Take at least every 6 mths Review ur Markers n Passion Pages at least once a year.
3. Attention
What u put ur attention on grow stronger in ur life.
Soul - I tot of I can put my adv. To show my intention to the Universe. It doesnt mean I m lookin for internet men, who disappoints me. Mmm, again fear of rejection, failure. Jus becos I failed previously, doesn mean I fail now. Do admit that I was not ready n d guys that come were not my required partner. So is fine.
Let's see where my new energy will attract. Its a good test.
4. Stay open
Your greatest good may not be what u think it is.
When u release ur individual will, and open up to God's Will for u. This is also the secret to overcoming obstacles. When disaster strikes, take advantage of d opportunities that inevitably presents itself.
Soul - suddenly tot of Africa again. M ready for adventure. I can put in my life map, my years in Africa.
5. Integrity
Be true to urself as u r to others and as to others as u are to urself.
The biggest challenge most of us face is to meet our responsibilities to others while pursuing our passions at the same time.
Be true to urself, and when in doubt, practice Follow ur Heart.
6. Persistence
Many people begin the journey. Those who finish it are the ones who achieve success and fulfillement in life.
When u r living life truly aligned wit ur passions, persistence is not hard. You will find you can't stop even if u want to. Your deepest passion will drive u inspite of urself.
Soul - definitely for isha meditation. And I realised partner is what I really wan, eventhough I resist, reject, put in back burner out of fear, pride and etc. I came back to it. This time will follow it thru wit my support from Universe. And if my fear comes up, I will meditate.
7. Follow ur Heart
Passion emerges from the heart, not from ur mind.
Do what u love, follow ur Heart's direction and the path to fulfillment in life will naturally unfold before u.
My 7thunder card for today - 4 of Hearts
Sign of protection in love, marriage and fanily
It represents one's marriage and the foundation of love upon which a family and life can be built
It is the home of the Heart.
Father, thank u.
Shocking - m not working in my Top 5!
Oct 26
Father, jus now tot of writing to ex-boss n ask him to keep me in mind for any Head of Finance role
Jus re-look at my Top 5 Passion, surprisingly I m not working. I was writing. To let go of my forte in finance, that wld be too scary, to be financially dependent on hubby. M shocked. But perhaps when I m living my Top 5 passion, i m fearless.
The Passion Test
Begin by reading ur 5 passions. How does that feel? Now read each page u have written on each passion. At the end of each page, stop, close ur eyes and picture ur life as you have jus written it. How does that feel.
Your life is created first in your mind, then in the world.
The purpose of writing out these pages is to uplift ur visions, inspire u and move your heart to go places you would not otherwise been able to go.
Your life will always be better than u imagine now, becos u r beginning to consciously create that life. Your future life will be the results of all the evolution and growth you have experienced between now and then.
Everything in ur life is structured for your evolution. The laws of nature that govern any aspect of existence, including our daily lives, are designed to support you in experiencing deeper aspects of your own nature.
When you fight reality, you will lose - always.
When u realise that every part of ur life is working to bring u closer to knowing ur true nature completely, life can only get better.
By staying open to how life is appearing at this moment, free of your concepts of how it "should" be, you create the opportunity for miracles to occur.
Soul - yea, very true. M already 80 percent there.
Evening
M happy. Today can leave at 7 pm n had meeting wit Isha meditators. During dinner, a chinese guy was lookin at me. He looks clean n educated and rich n smart. This time I jus feel open, not giving a haughty look, jus feel comfortable. That's good.
Today received email from close fruiend. She reiterated abt her inability to let me be myself. She admitted that she still hav difficulty to see the new grown me. She said she is not allowing the fship to be different. She also admit she is envious that I had no difficulty in allowing myself to be what I am at the moment, either wit Soul or wit ego. She said m letting my Soul evolves at its own pace.
She said she needs time to clear d old baggage before she sees me.
And this time, I was fine. I m surprised but m ok.
KJ, m waiting for u.
Father, jus now tot of writing to ex-boss n ask him to keep me in mind for any Head of Finance role
Jus re-look at my Top 5 Passion, surprisingly I m not working. I was writing. To let go of my forte in finance, that wld be too scary, to be financially dependent on hubby. M shocked. But perhaps when I m living my Top 5 passion, i m fearless.
The Passion Test
Begin by reading ur 5 passions. How does that feel? Now read each page u have written on each passion. At the end of each page, stop, close ur eyes and picture ur life as you have jus written it. How does that feel.
Your life is created first in your mind, then in the world.
The purpose of writing out these pages is to uplift ur visions, inspire u and move your heart to go places you would not otherwise been able to go.
Your life will always be better than u imagine now, becos u r beginning to consciously create that life. Your future life will be the results of all the evolution and growth you have experienced between now and then.
Everything in ur life is structured for your evolution. The laws of nature that govern any aspect of existence, including our daily lives, are designed to support you in experiencing deeper aspects of your own nature.
When you fight reality, you will lose - always.
When u realise that every part of ur life is working to bring u closer to knowing ur true nature completely, life can only get better.
By staying open to how life is appearing at this moment, free of your concepts of how it "should" be, you create the opportunity for miracles to occur.
Soul - yea, very true. M already 80 percent there.
Evening
M happy. Today can leave at 7 pm n had meeting wit Isha meditators. During dinner, a chinese guy was lookin at me. He looks clean n educated and rich n smart. This time I jus feel open, not giving a haughty look, jus feel comfortable. That's good.
Today received email from close fruiend. She reiterated abt her inability to let me be myself. She admitted that she still hav difficulty to see the new grown me. She said she is not allowing the fship to be different. She also admit she is envious that I had no difficulty in allowing myself to be what I am at the moment, either wit Soul or wit ego. She said m letting my Soul evolves at its own pace.
She said she needs time to clear d old baggage before she sees me.
And this time, I was fine. I m surprised but m ok.
KJ, m waiting for u.
No longer afraid to confront perceived authority
Oct 25
Father, yday send d sms to close friend in good faith n also to set our rship on equal path. But she took it negatively n said its difficult to be in rship when she has to guard herself n she said I judge her harshly now that m grown up. I replied that I was trying to help her but if she doesn't think its helpful, she can ignore. As for being on guard, I hav been on guard wit her for d past few years n its not easy. An hour later, she replied m her mirror.
I jus now one thing - m finally aware why I attract such authoritative friends who think they know how I shld feel n hence dismissed my feelings. Whenever my feeling is dismissed, I felt unloved. Its because of me doing it to myself - suppressing n dismissing my own feelin that I attracted such authoritative friends. We'll, last friday I already acknowledge m not happy at my job n give 6 mths to quit.
Today when I did passion test, stimulating work came under No. 9 and even working with people we mutually respect n like takes precedence. I who tot work was no. 1, now knew that d main thing is for me to feel happy n joyful wherever I may be.
My Top 5 Passion
1. I am happy and joyful - 5
I m happy 80 percent of time, both in n out of meditation.
2. I am feeling loved and appreciated - 5
I m contented, no more proving myself to seek approval
I no longer see people's inability to see my inner world as a reflection of my unlovability
My companion is sought.
My husband n I growing together, feelin blessed we waited for each other.
3. I am wit my partner savouring our life together - 0
My husband n I livin in our nature home, enjoyin our house, jus being there
We travel whenever we want to, Spain, Europe, eating all d lovely food in the world.
Seeing all the majestic scenery of the world
We do sky diving together.
We meditate together n also enjoy our stay in d ashram.
4. I am doing my meditation everywhere and anytime, even wit eyes open - 6
I am centred n eyes twinking. Laugther can erupt at the simple tot.
I do meditation step only when I wan to, otherwise jus swing into the silence space.
5. I am staying in a beautiful nature house wit open glass overseeing trees on one side and overseeing the blue/orange sky - 0
I m sitting in my living room, looking at the tree, savouring coffe brewed from coffee machine
Me, jus be there, feeling d space n can fall into meditative mode anywhere
Father, savouring our life. That's what it is even for d nature house. It is meant to be savoured, jus like good black coffee.
I m surprised d partner came first over work. I hav always put work first cos its more reliable, and there is no chance of feeling unloved - rejection/low value, until the current company. Partner n meditation high on the list.
Today I also decided that I may skip sunday meditation, my sabbatical, besides m running at 7.30 am.
Getting a partner, m stil doubtful especially since almost everyone says m plump. But I do like my looks now. Of cos, jus now did massage n she confirms it. So, how to get partner n I tot of reducing bfast. Aiyah, m lovable lah. Its true I gained weight, but I ate double these days cos I don't feel like controlling myself. Besides, like mom said eventhough I hav gained weigth but I look good :)
Also now I m walking every Sunday n I m feeling good. And I m doing yoga from Mon to Fri
Sat - swimming
Sun - walking
Sun - no meditation - jus shoonya before sleepin
The Passion Test
The passions that hav low scores are the ones u haven't given as much attention to. The passion wit high scores has received ur attention.
Soul - true.
The Passion Test
What u give attention to, every moment of every day, day in and day out, determines what is created in ur life. What u put ur attention is creating the results you are experiencing in ur life.
The great news is that where u place ur attention is primarily a habit.
Whenever u r faced wit a choice, a decision or an opportunity, choose in favour of ur passions.
Place d cards - remember them. U don't hav to create the plans to figure how to live them (although there is nothing wrong with that when u feel inspired)
Soul - d partner n nature, something I haven't put any attention. Its a dream that I tot I can't hav but I do wan it. On d positive note, at least I am acknowledging it.
I didn't even wan to put up adv. Partly fear n also partly pride. Part of me said m over it.
The Passion Test.
Your life always express what is going on deep inside u.
There if ur results are out of line wit ur stated intentions, its time to do some self-examination.
The 2nd step in manifesting anything is to put attention on its creation. This means developing the habit of giving attention to everything that supports ur intention and being indifferent to those things that do not.
Put ur attention on all the good in ur life (feeling joyful off work, meditation, loved), deal with situations that must be dealt with (looking for a job that makes me happy), and don't dwell on anything that doesn't support what u choose to create (don't worry that partner cannot find me, cannot like me when I am looking for job that makes me happy)
Overcomin fear step by step. Write down ur strength, how capable u are n the reasons why u can accomplish ur goals, fear will drop away.
Soul - I mus asked myself n my friend why I m lovable n m wit a loving partner
The Passion Test
If u wan to see how powerful u are, look at ur life and what u have created, good or otherwise. It is ur creation. If u r not happy wit what u hav created, u can begin creating consciously.
When u r truly passionate abt something, there is nothing that can keep u from it. You won't hav to try to put ur attention on it, because it draws u irresistibly to it.
Soul
I m actually quite happy. I rate my life a 6. I m passionate abt Isha yoga tools n it is so effortless n everytime m down, something wil quickly pull me back and it goes even deeper; like falling in love.
Father, jus now did meditation cos I wan to. From now on for Sunday, I only do meditation becos I wan to, not becos I hav to. Its in alignment wit my Passion - being happy n joyful.
The Passion Test
When u r clear abt what ur passions are, you can't predict how they will get fulfill. What is required is jus for u to remain open to everything that appeared, without holding on to ur own concepts of what u needed.
Vision board - past pix in a notebook. Look at it daily - give it attention
Remember, the people who are the most successful at living passionate lives are the one who take the time to do their inner homework.
Father, yday send d sms to close friend in good faith n also to set our rship on equal path. But she took it negatively n said its difficult to be in rship when she has to guard herself n she said I judge her harshly now that m grown up. I replied that I was trying to help her but if she doesn't think its helpful, she can ignore. As for being on guard, I hav been on guard wit her for d past few years n its not easy. An hour later, she replied m her mirror.
I jus now one thing - m finally aware why I attract such authoritative friends who think they know how I shld feel n hence dismissed my feelings. Whenever my feeling is dismissed, I felt unloved. Its because of me doing it to myself - suppressing n dismissing my own feelin that I attracted such authoritative friends. We'll, last friday I already acknowledge m not happy at my job n give 6 mths to quit.
Today when I did passion test, stimulating work came under No. 9 and even working with people we mutually respect n like takes precedence. I who tot work was no. 1, now knew that d main thing is for me to feel happy n joyful wherever I may be.
My Top 5 Passion
1. I am happy and joyful - 5
I m happy 80 percent of time, both in n out of meditation.
2. I am feeling loved and appreciated - 5
I m contented, no more proving myself to seek approval
I no longer see people's inability to see my inner world as a reflection of my unlovability
My companion is sought.
My husband n I growing together, feelin blessed we waited for each other.
3. I am wit my partner savouring our life together - 0
My husband n I livin in our nature home, enjoyin our house, jus being there
We travel whenever we want to, Spain, Europe, eating all d lovely food in the world.
Seeing all the majestic scenery of the world
We do sky diving together.
We meditate together n also enjoy our stay in d ashram.
4. I am doing my meditation everywhere and anytime, even wit eyes open - 6
I am centred n eyes twinking. Laugther can erupt at the simple tot.
I do meditation step only when I wan to, otherwise jus swing into the silence space.
5. I am staying in a beautiful nature house wit open glass overseeing trees on one side and overseeing the blue/orange sky - 0
I m sitting in my living room, looking at the tree, savouring coffe brewed from coffee machine
Me, jus be there, feeling d space n can fall into meditative mode anywhere
Father, savouring our life. That's what it is even for d nature house. It is meant to be savoured, jus like good black coffee.
I m surprised d partner came first over work. I hav always put work first cos its more reliable, and there is no chance of feeling unloved - rejection/low value, until the current company. Partner n meditation high on the list.
Today I also decided that I may skip sunday meditation, my sabbatical, besides m running at 7.30 am.
Getting a partner, m stil doubtful especially since almost everyone says m plump. But I do like my looks now. Of cos, jus now did massage n she confirms it. So, how to get partner n I tot of reducing bfast. Aiyah, m lovable lah. Its true I gained weight, but I ate double these days cos I don't feel like controlling myself. Besides, like mom said eventhough I hav gained weigth but I look good :)
Also now I m walking every Sunday n I m feeling good. And I m doing yoga from Mon to Fri
Sat - swimming
Sun - walking
Sun - no meditation - jus shoonya before sleepin
The Passion Test
The passions that hav low scores are the ones u haven't given as much attention to. The passion wit high scores has received ur attention.
Soul - true.
The Passion Test
What u give attention to, every moment of every day, day in and day out, determines what is created in ur life. What u put ur attention is creating the results you are experiencing in ur life.
The great news is that where u place ur attention is primarily a habit.
Whenever u r faced wit a choice, a decision or an opportunity, choose in favour of ur passions.
Place d cards - remember them. U don't hav to create the plans to figure how to live them (although there is nothing wrong with that when u feel inspired)
Soul - d partner n nature, something I haven't put any attention. Its a dream that I tot I can't hav but I do wan it. On d positive note, at least I am acknowledging it.
I didn't even wan to put up adv. Partly fear n also partly pride. Part of me said m over it.
The Passion Test.
Your life always express what is going on deep inside u.
There if ur results are out of line wit ur stated intentions, its time to do some self-examination.
The 2nd step in manifesting anything is to put attention on its creation. This means developing the habit of giving attention to everything that supports ur intention and being indifferent to those things that do not.
Put ur attention on all the good in ur life (feeling joyful off work, meditation, loved), deal with situations that must be dealt with (looking for a job that makes me happy), and don't dwell on anything that doesn't support what u choose to create (don't worry that partner cannot find me, cannot like me when I am looking for job that makes me happy)
Overcomin fear step by step. Write down ur strength, how capable u are n the reasons why u can accomplish ur goals, fear will drop away.
Soul - I mus asked myself n my friend why I m lovable n m wit a loving partner
The Passion Test
If u wan to see how powerful u are, look at ur life and what u have created, good or otherwise. It is ur creation. If u r not happy wit what u hav created, u can begin creating consciously.
When u r truly passionate abt something, there is nothing that can keep u from it. You won't hav to try to put ur attention on it, because it draws u irresistibly to it.
Soul
I m actually quite happy. I rate my life a 6. I m passionate abt Isha yoga tools n it is so effortless n everytime m down, something wil quickly pull me back and it goes even deeper; like falling in love.
Father, jus now did meditation cos I wan to. From now on for Sunday, I only do meditation becos I wan to, not becos I hav to. Its in alignment wit my Passion - being happy n joyful.
The Passion Test
When u r clear abt what ur passions are, you can't predict how they will get fulfill. What is required is jus for u to remain open to everything that appeared, without holding on to ur own concepts of what u needed.
Vision board - past pix in a notebook. Look at it daily - give it attention
Remember, the people who are the most successful at living passionate lives are the one who take the time to do their inner homework.
Source of RA - dismissal of feeling by controlling it
Oct 24
Jus now I was thinkin despite me being unhappy here, this job has propel me to the next level. M no longer afraid to be CFO.
Now I realised why I write journal. I hav no one to pour my feeling to. And d journal is for my release. I believe that if I express, people get uncomfortable n they wil dismiss it, making me feel small for having feeling. Jus like in India, I was feeling afraid of experiencing too much, feeling afraid I will stay. Prema said my fear r unfounded - she has dismissed my feeling.
Now I realised - my issue is my feeling not being recognised. Since people doesnt recognise, I have learnt to shut off and not recognise it myself. Last time people do it to me and for years I do it to myself - not acknowledging my feeling. Alas, finally m acknowledging my feeling when I said I m unhappy. The fact that close friend said its hormonal, I wasn that upset, unlike previously.
Now I realised what is d thing wit close friend and PA. Both of them tot they knew better than me n tot I m not clear n hence give me alternative perception. Of cos to me, again, they act like my parents, who thinks they knew me better than I knew myself n dismiss my feeling. Thats is why i seem to be receptive. Thats is why i seems to be open...in reality i m internally closed up..
I was laughing n crying when it finally crystalise. Now I knew why I hate authority. Authority represent repression of feelings. My family does it and I learn to do it. That's where I got RA.
From now on, I wld consciously ask how I feel. And now its crystalised, I m not happy in my job. It is not hormonal as what Pearly thinks. Amen
Thanks to close friend's issue on being imposed by others, I finally uncover my issue of dismissed feeling by people of authority.
Since m a queen, only people who perceive or I perceive higher than me would dare to give me an alternative view - which to me, is dismissing my feeling.
I hav shared wit close friend my finding. M not sure if she takes it, but it doesn't matter cos we supposed to be equal n I will do my part i But I now decided that I will state my part. Father, everything is crystalising n d past is unravel.
The issue wit conman was me dimissing my own feeling. The issue wit RA was me dismissing my feeling. My parents did it cos they are not able to accept their feelings n hence they dismiss ours. We were taught to be neutrel all d way.
Father, thank u.
My weekly Osho - with my new found understanding
1. The issue - Burden. See the lie, look deep into the lie of ur personality. Because to see the lie is to cease to lie. No longer to lie is to seek no more for any truth - there is no need.
The moment the lie disappears, truths is there in all its beauty and radiance. In seeing of the lie, it disappears, and what left is truth.
Soul - now that I finally unravel that I hav been dismissing my own feeling, I start to laugh cos I m connected. Then I cry for the wasted years n for RA.
When I unravel my control freak during Asia works, I tot I was jus havin high emotional control. I never intepret this as dismissing my feeling, which is much more serious. That's why PA said my feeling were repressed, dented.
When I first did reiki n first time do osho card, I got this Burden card. Now it finally crytalise.
M using this crystalise a lot. To me, it meant that all the past issues is unravel and the end is near.
Osho -You hav ur own mountains to conquer, ur own dreams to fulfill, but u will never have the energy to pursue them until u release urself from all the expectations you have gathered from others but now think r ur own. Its time to lighten up and send them on their way.
Soul - no wonder I never had any energy to think of my passion. Close friend also said she never tot of her passion. Close friend n I also mirror. I used my energy to repress n ignore my feeling so I can jus adapt. Close friend used her energy to proceed ahead despite not wanting to do; impose on herself on things she doesn wan.
Osho - internal influence. Creativity. The key is to abandon oneself to the energy that fuels the birth of all things.
Soul - the fact m snappish me that control has been broken n feeling is out n energy intact. Its time to tap into the energy to find my destiny, my mountain.
3. External - courage
There was no danger for the seed, the seed cld hav survive d millenia, but for the sprouts many are the danger. But the sprout starts towards the unknown, towards the sun, towards the light, not knowing where, not knowing. Great is the cross to be carried, but a dream possesses the seed and the seed moves.
The flower shows us d way, as its passion for life leads it out of darkness and into the light. Be courageous enough to grow into the flower u r meant to be.
Soul - to find my passion and to manifest.
4. How to resolve - Control. There is a time and a place for control, but if we put it in charge of our lives, we end up totally rigid. Rigidity doesn't allow any spontaneity or vulnerability to enter it.
If mistakes happen, its okay. If things get a little out of hand, its probably jus what doctor ordered. There is much, much more to life than being "on top of things".
5. Resolution - clinging to the past. Take a deep breathe, put the past away. Life is passing u by, and u r in danger of becoming an old fossil before ur time.
Soul - amen. Finally all 5 cards is understood.
Transformational
3. Seed of transformation
A real greatness is so ordinary that it claims nothing, never tries to prove anything
My master,"When he is hungry, he eats, and when he is sleepy, he goes to sleep"
Soul - this means he acknowledges his feeling. If he is hungry, he realised and he act on it and find food.
For me, I didn't even know m hungry.
Now I know.
Jus now I was thinkin despite me being unhappy here, this job has propel me to the next level. M no longer afraid to be CFO.
Now I realised why I write journal. I hav no one to pour my feeling to. And d journal is for my release. I believe that if I express, people get uncomfortable n they wil dismiss it, making me feel small for having feeling. Jus like in India, I was feeling afraid of experiencing too much, feeling afraid I will stay. Prema said my fear r unfounded - she has dismissed my feeling.
Now I realised - my issue is my feeling not being recognised. Since people doesnt recognise, I have learnt to shut off and not recognise it myself. Last time people do it to me and for years I do it to myself - not acknowledging my feeling. Alas, finally m acknowledging my feeling when I said I m unhappy. The fact that close friend said its hormonal, I wasn that upset, unlike previously.
Now I realised what is d thing wit close friend and PA. Both of them tot they knew better than me n tot I m not clear n hence give me alternative perception. Of cos to me, again, they act like my parents, who thinks they knew me better than I knew myself n dismiss my feeling. Thats is why i seem to be receptive. Thats is why i seems to be open...in reality i m internally closed up..
I was laughing n crying when it finally crystalise. Now I knew why I hate authority. Authority represent repression of feelings. My family does it and I learn to do it. That's where I got RA.
From now on, I wld consciously ask how I feel. And now its crystalised, I m not happy in my job. It is not hormonal as what Pearly thinks. Amen
Thanks to close friend's issue on being imposed by others, I finally uncover my issue of dismissed feeling by people of authority.
Since m a queen, only people who perceive or I perceive higher than me would dare to give me an alternative view - which to me, is dismissing my feeling.
I hav shared wit close friend my finding. M not sure if she takes it, but it doesn't matter cos we supposed to be equal n I will do my part i But I now decided that I will state my part. Father, everything is crystalising n d past is unravel.
The issue wit conman was me dimissing my own feeling. The issue wit RA was me dismissing my feeling. My parents did it cos they are not able to accept their feelings n hence they dismiss ours. We were taught to be neutrel all d way.
Father, thank u.
My weekly Osho - with my new found understanding
1. The issue - Burden. See the lie, look deep into the lie of ur personality. Because to see the lie is to cease to lie. No longer to lie is to seek no more for any truth - there is no need.
The moment the lie disappears, truths is there in all its beauty and radiance. In seeing of the lie, it disappears, and what left is truth.
Soul - now that I finally unravel that I hav been dismissing my own feeling, I start to laugh cos I m connected. Then I cry for the wasted years n for RA.
When I unravel my control freak during Asia works, I tot I was jus havin high emotional control. I never intepret this as dismissing my feeling, which is much more serious. That's why PA said my feeling were repressed, dented.
When I first did reiki n first time do osho card, I got this Burden card. Now it finally crytalise.
M using this crystalise a lot. To me, it meant that all the past issues is unravel and the end is near.
Osho -You hav ur own mountains to conquer, ur own dreams to fulfill, but u will never have the energy to pursue them until u release urself from all the expectations you have gathered from others but now think r ur own. Its time to lighten up and send them on their way.
Soul - no wonder I never had any energy to think of my passion. Close friend also said she never tot of her passion. Close friend n I also mirror. I used my energy to repress n ignore my feeling so I can jus adapt. Close friend used her energy to proceed ahead despite not wanting to do; impose on herself on things she doesn wan.
Osho - internal influence. Creativity. The key is to abandon oneself to the energy that fuels the birth of all things.
Soul - the fact m snappish me that control has been broken n feeling is out n energy intact. Its time to tap into the energy to find my destiny, my mountain.
3. External - courage
There was no danger for the seed, the seed cld hav survive d millenia, but for the sprouts many are the danger. But the sprout starts towards the unknown, towards the sun, towards the light, not knowing where, not knowing. Great is the cross to be carried, but a dream possesses the seed and the seed moves.
The flower shows us d way, as its passion for life leads it out of darkness and into the light. Be courageous enough to grow into the flower u r meant to be.
Soul - to find my passion and to manifest.
4. How to resolve - Control. There is a time and a place for control, but if we put it in charge of our lives, we end up totally rigid. Rigidity doesn't allow any spontaneity or vulnerability to enter it.
If mistakes happen, its okay. If things get a little out of hand, its probably jus what doctor ordered. There is much, much more to life than being "on top of things".
5. Resolution - clinging to the past. Take a deep breathe, put the past away. Life is passing u by, and u r in danger of becoming an old fossil before ur time.
Soul - amen. Finally all 5 cards is understood.
Transformational
3. Seed of transformation
A real greatness is so ordinary that it claims nothing, never tries to prove anything
My master,"When he is hungry, he eats, and when he is sleepy, he goes to sleep"
Soul - this means he acknowledges his feeling. If he is hungry, he realised and he act on it and find food.
For me, I didn't even know m hungry.
Now I know.
The Passion Test
Oct 24
Woke up 7.30 am to do my meditation, these days I spend less quiet time.
Of cos, ego work me on the client's case, n then later said m stress, afraid of failure rather than don't like d job.
I told ego, there is thousand of reasons to stay, only one reason to leave. I am not happy. The meditation firstly help me to overcome my fear of failure, then detach and now once overcome. I don't wan to do this for the next 12 years of my life.
Jus did my first passion test, wil go thru tomorro.
Flip thru d papers to see what's interesting
1. Copy Editor for food magazine - at first was keen at d food, but the part on long hours n hard work was offputting. At that moment I tot food for me is pleasure, hobby but not what I wan to work at.
2. Corporate Finance - Snr Mgr, review consol and prepare BOD papers n review treasury and other ad hoc project - seem like my cup of tea. Only thing is the company, not sure m keen
3. CFO - good biz acumen, know key volume driver, good leadership and nego. Seem to be my cup of tea. Only thing is preparing for listing - so tough job, but I m fine cos m holding lead role. Then tot of Nigeria - Lagos. Mmm, wonder where is that. Sounds exciting and I got nothing to lose n after India, what is Nigeria :). Was keen to apply.
Moment later, a tot came, what abt KJ. I said aiyah, nothin is on yet n I don't wan to hold back my life for somethin unknown.
Anyway, worst case, work my ass for 3 years, get some shares, get the expat package n then retire.
I told myself jus be exploretary n let my interest n intuition flow. Forget abt how.
Evenin
The Passion Test
You can never know what will show up in ur life. You can only stay open to what is required of u in the present moment. When u let go of the way you think should be and open yourself to the way they are appearing, u open urself to the will of God, to the perfect organising power of Nature.
Everything is made by man is created first in someone's mind; then it become manifest in the world. If u want to create the life of ur dreams, it begins by writing your dreams down and becoming as clear as possible abt them.
The power of intention and attention is what brings ideas into concrete form. When u hav intention and attention with no tension, then the whole process is fun.
Some people state intentions and then r perplexed when d results in their lufe don't match their stated intention.
The truth is - Your results will always match ur true intentions.
Your life will always express what is going on deep inside u. If d results are out, then its time to do some self examination. Only when ur actions are aligned wit ur intentions that u will create ur world out of those intentions.
Soul - yea. A year ago, I wish for a job that use my strength, a boss like my friend that I can support, and it pays well and I can leave work by 7pm and do my own thing.
But I don't believe I can get it then and also I was afraid of falling into another Fire n hence resist leaving.
Now m not.
The Passion Test
Attention - Life changes when the object of ur attention becomes ur conscious choice.
Soul - nowadays m determined to be centred. To be at peace n joy.
My ego said my Ace of diamond - lookin for new things wil clash wit me getting a ptnr. Well, I don't have one at the moment, so no issue.
Abt half a year ago, I tot of overseas posting n me being alone. But I was fine cos my days were filled wit hatha yoga and kriya yoga.
The pasion test
Successful habit
1. Taking time daily to review ur top five passions
2. Choosing in favour of ur passions whenever u r faced wit a decisions
3. Taking responsibility for the life you have created
4. Taking time daily for prayer and/or meditation
5. Getting regular exercise
6. Getting adequate rest
7. Charitable giving on a regular basis
8. Eating healthy food that supports clarity
9. Speaking positively and uplifting others thru your speech.
Evening
Met close friend and at first I was excited on sharing. Then tot its her birthday so I keep quiet on that. Later when I spoke she said perhaps me being unhappy n cried its jus hormonal due to pre-menses n it wil goes away. She said she always cry n said don't wan d job when she argued wit her ex-boss.
At first tot, again, she is ignoring my feeling and dismissing it. Then I tot there may be truth cos my menses is coming.
Then I tot, she didn't wan to talk abt it, fine. She then share her dilemma, abt being good, abt guilt of not being good. And the beauty is she already agreed to let them stay for 2 weeks, so what's another 4 days. She was agonising over 4 days. Try to tell her but she said its her choice. I jus keep quiet.
Ego said she encouraged d gal friend to quit cos she doesn't hav passion n here when I cried, she said its hormonal. I guess its the unrecognised feeling that I faced as a child.
The Passion test
Facing fear
1. The head - on approach. Focus ur attention towards what got u excited, not towards what scared u.
2. The step by step approach. Take each small steps to build ur confidence n reduce the fear until u get to the point whereby u are able to push through the last bit of fear and get on the results.
You wil find that by putting ur attention on ur strength, how capable u are, and the reasons u can accomplish ur goals, fear wil drop away. Wit remarkable ease, the results u desire wil begin showin up in ur life.
Soul - we'll, for d meditation, I too step by step.
The Passion Test
When u become conscious of where u r putting ur attention, it is no more difficult than being
Woke up 7.30 am to do my meditation, these days I spend less quiet time.
Of cos, ego work me on the client's case, n then later said m stress, afraid of failure rather than don't like d job.
I told ego, there is thousand of reasons to stay, only one reason to leave. I am not happy. The meditation firstly help me to overcome my fear of failure, then detach and now once overcome. I don't wan to do this for the next 12 years of my life.
Jus did my first passion test, wil go thru tomorro.
Flip thru d papers to see what's interesting
1. Copy Editor for food magazine - at first was keen at d food, but the part on long hours n hard work was offputting. At that moment I tot food for me is pleasure, hobby but not what I wan to work at.
2. Corporate Finance - Snr Mgr, review consol and prepare BOD papers n review treasury and other ad hoc project - seem like my cup of tea. Only thing is the company, not sure m keen
3. CFO - good biz acumen, know key volume driver, good leadership and nego. Seem to be my cup of tea. Only thing is preparing for listing - so tough job, but I m fine cos m holding lead role. Then tot of Nigeria - Lagos. Mmm, wonder where is that. Sounds exciting and I got nothing to lose n after India, what is Nigeria :). Was keen to apply.
Moment later, a tot came, what abt KJ. I said aiyah, nothin is on yet n I don't wan to hold back my life for somethin unknown.
Anyway, worst case, work my ass for 3 years, get some shares, get the expat package n then retire.
I told myself jus be exploretary n let my interest n intuition flow. Forget abt how.
Evenin
The Passion Test
You can never know what will show up in ur life. You can only stay open to what is required of u in the present moment. When u let go of the way you think should be and open yourself to the way they are appearing, u open urself to the will of God, to the perfect organising power of Nature.
Everything is made by man is created first in someone's mind; then it become manifest in the world. If u want to create the life of ur dreams, it begins by writing your dreams down and becoming as clear as possible abt them.
The power of intention and attention is what brings ideas into concrete form. When u hav intention and attention with no tension, then the whole process is fun.
Some people state intentions and then r perplexed when d results in their lufe don't match their stated intention.
The truth is - Your results will always match ur true intentions.
Your life will always express what is going on deep inside u. If d results are out, then its time to do some self examination. Only when ur actions are aligned wit ur intentions that u will create ur world out of those intentions.
Soul - yea. A year ago, I wish for a job that use my strength, a boss like my friend that I can support, and it pays well and I can leave work by 7pm and do my own thing.
But I don't believe I can get it then and also I was afraid of falling into another Fire n hence resist leaving.
Now m not.
The Passion Test
Attention - Life changes when the object of ur attention becomes ur conscious choice.
Soul - nowadays m determined to be centred. To be at peace n joy.
My ego said my Ace of diamond - lookin for new things wil clash wit me getting a ptnr. Well, I don't have one at the moment, so no issue.
Abt half a year ago, I tot of overseas posting n me being alone. But I was fine cos my days were filled wit hatha yoga and kriya yoga.
The pasion test
Successful habit
1. Taking time daily to review ur top five passions
2. Choosing in favour of ur passions whenever u r faced wit a decisions
3. Taking responsibility for the life you have created
4. Taking time daily for prayer and/or meditation
5. Getting regular exercise
6. Getting adequate rest
7. Charitable giving on a regular basis
8. Eating healthy food that supports clarity
9. Speaking positively and uplifting others thru your speech.
Evening
Met close friend and at first I was excited on sharing. Then tot its her birthday so I keep quiet on that. Later when I spoke she said perhaps me being unhappy n cried its jus hormonal due to pre-menses n it wil goes away. She said she always cry n said don't wan d job when she argued wit her ex-boss.
At first tot, again, she is ignoring my feeling and dismissing it. Then I tot there may be truth cos my menses is coming.
Then I tot, she didn't wan to talk abt it, fine. She then share her dilemma, abt being good, abt guilt of not being good. And the beauty is she already agreed to let them stay for 2 weeks, so what's another 4 days. She was agonising over 4 days. Try to tell her but she said its her choice. I jus keep quiet.
Ego said she encouraged d gal friend to quit cos she doesn't hav passion n here when I cried, she said its hormonal. I guess its the unrecognised feeling that I faced as a child.
The Passion test
Facing fear
1. The head - on approach. Focus ur attention towards what got u excited, not towards what scared u.
2. The step by step approach. Take each small steps to build ur confidence n reduce the fear until u get to the point whereby u are able to push through the last bit of fear and get on the results.
You wil find that by putting ur attention on ur strength, how capable u are, and the reasons u can accomplish ur goals, fear wil drop away. Wit remarkable ease, the results u desire wil begin showin up in ur life.
Soul - we'll, for d meditation, I too step by step.
The Passion Test
When u become conscious of where u r putting ur attention, it is no more difficult than being
My passions
Oct 23. When my life is ideal, I am
1. What r u doing
2. Who are u with
3. Where are u
4. How do u feel
1. I am happy and joyful
2. I am feeling loved and appreciated
3. I am wit my partner savouring our life together
4. I am doing my meditation everywhere and anytime, even wit eyes open
5. I am staying in a beatiful nature house wit open glass overseeing trees on one side and overseeing the blue/orange sky
6. I am always invited for good food session
7. I can travel on my whim and fancy on a a luxurious mode
8. I am working wit people whom I like and respect n we able to challenge friendly like d time in my ex-company
9. I am doing work which stimulate my creativity, using my forte in strategic planning and valuation for people/things/prospect; ie ability to identify diamond in anything even if I had no prior experience
10. I am writing a book of my life - The journey of becoming whole again
11. I am able to say what I like, do what I like without any tot of others opinion
12. I am very rich n secure that I can donate 1 million a year n that's mean I am a billionaire
13. I am invited to give talks internationally
14. I am able to provide my family wit a lovely house.
15. I am able to be a philanthropis more towards helping individuals rather than unknown groups
16. I am able to help anyone within my sphere
17. I have a group of friends who is in my journey.
1. What r u doing
2. Who are u with
3. Where are u
4. How do u feel
1. I am happy and joyful
2. I am feeling loved and appreciated
3. I am wit my partner savouring our life together
4. I am doing my meditation everywhere and anytime, even wit eyes open
5. I am staying in a beatiful nature house wit open glass overseeing trees on one side and overseeing the blue/orange sky
6. I am always invited for good food session
7. I can travel on my whim and fancy on a a luxurious mode
8. I am working wit people whom I like and respect n we able to challenge friendly like d time in my ex-company
9. I am doing work which stimulate my creativity, using my forte in strategic planning and valuation for people/things/prospect; ie ability to identify diamond in anything even if I had no prior experience
10. I am writing a book of my life - The journey of becoming whole again
11. I am able to say what I like, do what I like without any tot of others opinion
12. I am very rich n secure that I can donate 1 million a year n that's mean I am a billionaire
13. I am invited to give talks internationally
14. I am able to provide my family wit a lovely house.
15. I am able to be a philanthropis more towards helping individuals rather than unknown groups
16. I am able to help anyone within my sphere
17. I have a group of friends who is in my journey.
I was unhappy n now m fine
Oct 23
Jus now d chat wit a client was d last straw. I lost my control.
When Regional Accountant said d email from fellow Regional is fine, that means I am snappish cos I m feeling resentful. I
Now I know why PA is like that, anytime someone ask her to do things. She is unwilling n hence resentful n hence snappish. Thanks to PA, she is my mirror.
Regional CFO also not happy n hopin to retire earlier n he is only 2 years my senior. But at least he seem to like d job.
M glad. I know.
I resisted cos I was afraid to find another fire. I resisted cos I m afraid I hav no more energy.
Perhaps this is it.
I always wan to be in control, able to overcome anything. Able to endure anything.
I can handle the job and I think I hav done a great job but if I m not happy, no point in continuing.
Will update resume - loads of things I hav done. My 1.5 years here is like 3 years of expereince.
Like my staff said I can handle CEO, its d Regional and WW reporting that I can't.
Now I understand the transformation card on Misuse of Power; Love open the eyes, love cleanses the eyes .... your perception becomes clear.
As per norm I attack internal. I m using my power to force myself to stay. I love myself n I had a good cry and now my perception is clear.
On the seed of transformation - to do a miracle is great but not great enough. To do a miracle is still to be in the world of the ego. A real greatness is so ordinary that it claims nothing; it is so ordinary that it never tries to prove anything.
Soul - at first I resisted n defend myself by becoming detached but not it has turn into resentment. This is something new for me. I resisted cos I didn't wan to quit, am afraid to quit, am afraid to say that I failed. Actually when I quit, they wil agree wit me cos d bulk of work is reporting - tons and I don't enjoy it at all. I can do it now but I don't enjoy it. Its ok, I failed.
I was also afraid people saying that even wit meditation, I can't cope. Its ok. I am also afraid to start again. Its ok.
Ok, let's target final day 6 mths from now. Three month to find a job and to give 3 mths notice - then I be here 2 years exactly. Even if worst case, cannot get job wil put in d letter end Jan 2010.
I m glad I came here. Real suffering but I hav overcome and now my control is gone. I am alive!
Inner awareness - trust in Allah but tether ur camel first.
You can do whatsoever u can do, but that does not make the result certain, there is no guarantee. He know best. Whatever happens accept it.
Soul - I resisted cos I hav put so much in this job, overcome my fear of reporting, my fear of failure, being oppressed by CEO, kowtoing. That's why I can't let go and I hold on. I m sad that after everything I still don't like the job, just like in d beginning, eventhough I can do it.
I guess before it was my fear of failure of reporting and then when I overcome, fear of failure of quitting but now its my love for myself. A big circle n m back stronger.
I guess He knows best, this job is just another stop in my journey. Led me to isha yoga n now that I finally took the pre-final programme - hatha yoga. Everything comes to an end.
Osho card - Inner influence that you are not aware
Laughter - laughter is eternal, life is eternal, celebration contnues. Existence is continuous, it is a continuum. There is not a single moment gap's in it.
No death is death because every death opens a new door - it is a beginning. There is no end to life, there is always a new beginning, a resurrection. It was not a death, it was a new life.
If you change ur sadness to celebration, then u will also capable of changing ur death into resurrection. So learn the art while there is time.
Soul - now I understand. It is referring to the closure of this job. And it is saying that with every closure, there is a new beginning.
The passion test
We take the passion test every 6 mths because we know that as our experience of life grows, we come to know ourselves ever more deeply. You may get married, have children, new opportunities will show up, u will make new discoveries.
Life is constantly evolving and with that evolution comes greater clarity about what is most important.
The deeper u know urself, the more completely you are able to align wit ur personal destiny.
Soul - actually its not that I m happy wit other jobs, its jus that I didn't know I m sad. I guess now that I know what is being joyful, I know when m sad and I was in d job.
So, don't have to judge myself. Alas when I evolved, m more aware.
It is so ironic - I seem happy go lucky, but inside I was sad n further in, I tot m meant endure, not to be joyful. Alas, d meditation has went all d way in and uncovered my hidden joy. All these years, I believe m meant to endure, to overcome challenge/problem before I can even be recognised. Aiyoh, no wonder I keep on attracting challenges.
Well, I m meant to be joyful. M am joyful during meditation and now I wil be joyful outside meditation.
Father, thank u. Finally m learning to love myself.
It is amazing. The timing I done up wit proving myself.
Evenin
My ex-staff has changed so much, spiral down on victim mode, projecting everything out to the world, similar to the other ex-staff.
So scary. I asked him if d present job better than d previous one. He said yes and I asked of d three jobs, which is the worst one, he said is the 1st one. So, I told him things has improved since 1st one, but he forgot. I said I told her to write a list of d things she hates abt her former jobs, so she can appreciate current one.
I shared abt nature house n when he asked abd d man. I hesitated cos for me getting d house is easy than getting d man. Of cos, I can say d man is d icing n d house is d cake, which is true before I saw his pix. But now, I don't mind having d man too. J asked how old is he and I said 42 n ex-staff immediately says he is gay. I guess it plays in my mind. I see him as man man, not too macho or too feminine. Infact, since he is handling SME, he is most likely man man or it wouldn't be easy to do his job.
Aiyah, ex-staff is now very negativ. So, better not share. He wld only smear n alleviate my hidden fear.
Jus now tot of the client that I told off this evening n bit worried but I shrug it off. I wonder if my mood was due to this week stress. But I realised its not.
Father, guide me.
Jus now d chat wit a client was d last straw. I lost my control.
When Regional Accountant said d email from fellow Regional is fine, that means I am snappish cos I m feeling resentful. I
Now I know why PA is like that, anytime someone ask her to do things. She is unwilling n hence resentful n hence snappish. Thanks to PA, she is my mirror.
Regional CFO also not happy n hopin to retire earlier n he is only 2 years my senior. But at least he seem to like d job.
M glad. I know.
I resisted cos I was afraid to find another fire. I resisted cos I m afraid I hav no more energy.
Perhaps this is it.
I always wan to be in control, able to overcome anything. Able to endure anything.
I can handle the job and I think I hav done a great job but if I m not happy, no point in continuing.
Will update resume - loads of things I hav done. My 1.5 years here is like 3 years of expereince.
Like my staff said I can handle CEO, its d Regional and WW reporting that I can't.
Now I understand the transformation card on Misuse of Power; Love open the eyes, love cleanses the eyes .... your perception becomes clear.
As per norm I attack internal. I m using my power to force myself to stay. I love myself n I had a good cry and now my perception is clear.
On the seed of transformation - to do a miracle is great but not great enough. To do a miracle is still to be in the world of the ego. A real greatness is so ordinary that it claims nothing; it is so ordinary that it never tries to prove anything.
Soul - at first I resisted n defend myself by becoming detached but not it has turn into resentment. This is something new for me. I resisted cos I didn't wan to quit, am afraid to quit, am afraid to say that I failed. Actually when I quit, they wil agree wit me cos d bulk of work is reporting - tons and I don't enjoy it at all. I can do it now but I don't enjoy it. Its ok, I failed.
I was also afraid people saying that even wit meditation, I can't cope. Its ok. I am also afraid to start again. Its ok.
Ok, let's target final day 6 mths from now. Three month to find a job and to give 3 mths notice - then I be here 2 years exactly. Even if worst case, cannot get job wil put in d letter end Jan 2010.
I m glad I came here. Real suffering but I hav overcome and now my control is gone. I am alive!
Inner awareness - trust in Allah but tether ur camel first.
You can do whatsoever u can do, but that does not make the result certain, there is no guarantee. He know best. Whatever happens accept it.
Soul - I resisted cos I hav put so much in this job, overcome my fear of reporting, my fear of failure, being oppressed by CEO, kowtoing. That's why I can't let go and I hold on. I m sad that after everything I still don't like the job, just like in d beginning, eventhough I can do it.
I guess before it was my fear of failure of reporting and then when I overcome, fear of failure of quitting but now its my love for myself. A big circle n m back stronger.
I guess He knows best, this job is just another stop in my journey. Led me to isha yoga n now that I finally took the pre-final programme - hatha yoga. Everything comes to an end.
Osho card - Inner influence that you are not aware
Laughter - laughter is eternal, life is eternal, celebration contnues. Existence is continuous, it is a continuum. There is not a single moment gap's in it.
No death is death because every death opens a new door - it is a beginning. There is no end to life, there is always a new beginning, a resurrection. It was not a death, it was a new life.
If you change ur sadness to celebration, then u will also capable of changing ur death into resurrection. So learn the art while there is time.
Soul - now I understand. It is referring to the closure of this job. And it is saying that with every closure, there is a new beginning.
The passion test
We take the passion test every 6 mths because we know that as our experience of life grows, we come to know ourselves ever more deeply. You may get married, have children, new opportunities will show up, u will make new discoveries.
Life is constantly evolving and with that evolution comes greater clarity about what is most important.
The deeper u know urself, the more completely you are able to align wit ur personal destiny.
Soul - actually its not that I m happy wit other jobs, its jus that I didn't know I m sad. I guess now that I know what is being joyful, I know when m sad and I was in d job.
So, don't have to judge myself. Alas when I evolved, m more aware.
It is so ironic - I seem happy go lucky, but inside I was sad n further in, I tot m meant endure, not to be joyful. Alas, d meditation has went all d way in and uncovered my hidden joy. All these years, I believe m meant to endure, to overcome challenge/problem before I can even be recognised. Aiyoh, no wonder I keep on attracting challenges.
Well, I m meant to be joyful. M am joyful during meditation and now I wil be joyful outside meditation.
Father, thank u. Finally m learning to love myself.
It is amazing. The timing I done up wit proving myself.
Evenin
My ex-staff has changed so much, spiral down on victim mode, projecting everything out to the world, similar to the other ex-staff.
So scary. I asked him if d present job better than d previous one. He said yes and I asked of d three jobs, which is the worst one, he said is the 1st one. So, I told him things has improved since 1st one, but he forgot. I said I told her to write a list of d things she hates abt her former jobs, so she can appreciate current one.
I shared abt nature house n when he asked abd d man. I hesitated cos for me getting d house is easy than getting d man. Of cos, I can say d man is d icing n d house is d cake, which is true before I saw his pix. But now, I don't mind having d man too. J asked how old is he and I said 42 n ex-staff immediately says he is gay. I guess it plays in my mind. I see him as man man, not too macho or too feminine. Infact, since he is handling SME, he is most likely man man or it wouldn't be easy to do his job.
Aiyah, ex-staff is now very negativ. So, better not share. He wld only smear n alleviate my hidden fear.
Jus now tot of the client that I told off this evening n bit worried but I shrug it off. I wonder if my mood was due to this week stress. But I realised its not.
Father, guide me.
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