Feb 1
Father, jus now meditation. I didn't connect. I was disciplining myself. Ego was saying why u pursue. I asked is this it? Is this as far as I go. Anyway, then I said, never mind. At the very least, I jus wan my RA to be healed and I know that it will be done. As for others, I will handle it as I go along.
Bhagavad Gita's msg abt me now in limbo is true. But I will preservere. This 40 days is once in a life time for me.
Sadhguru's msg
Every beating heart claims to seek divinity
As I peel to reveal
The weak hearted ones run to save their frailties
But a few lusty ones remain
Lust - lust for life - deeper life
Is the only way to unravel
The bounty of Nothingness
That is me and you.
Soul
Father, perhaps instead of saying I may be in d wrong track, perhaps m in d right track. Bhagavad Gita clearly describes what I m feeling now. So, jus continue. 2 more weeks to go and d rest I leave to Sadhguru to handle.
Besides, everytime I m at my ends wit food, a new vegetarian stall always open up to me. That's mean d Universe is helping me along to preservere. Amen.
Father, my left hand finger is swelling. This is a first time since a few years back. At first was sad on d attack. Wonder why? I hav done so much. Of cos earlier ego said its becos I push myself to eat veg.
Now putting ointment n I tot, I wil hav to diligently continue on my yoga meditation. Its d way.
Then I tot perhaps its timely for my finger to swell when I m losing interest. The first sign was a couple months back after shoonya n then d attack came n I got frightened n I did hatha yoga. Little did I know it wil lead me to samyama. And now another attack to prod me further. So, I wil be diligent.
Bhagavad Gita
Devotee fearing that a spiritual victory will mean a desolate existence. Without ego and sense, will he then for the remainder of his life, look upon all material things and sensory experiences as being permeated wit evil vibrations in contradistinction to his victorious soul-statre.
The answer is of course, is no. Evil lies only in the misuse of the power and products of nature.
The sense touched by the bliss of the soul will spiritualise perception.
When a mayn discovers that sense joys are not synonym for human happiness, he then sincerely wishes to get rid of his parasitical senses, who apparently offer him solace and symphathy and yet continually practice deception.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Ego - our strength, our weakness
Jan 31 Evening
Egonomics
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
When we embrace humility's confident, dual nature, the early warnin signs of ego are eradicated. Comparison weakens because while we can strive to be something significant, we don't suffer from the delusions that we can be everything.
Seeking acceptance is uneasy next to humility because we are at ease being both love and disliked.
Foolish is the person that takes offense when none was intended. More foolish is the person that takes offense when it was intended.
Ego.
We all have a personal image that we must protect. For eg, I do not want to be seen by others, and particularly by myself as weak, as ill advised, as less than worthy, as stupid, as someone who cannot be respected. I will do whatever necessary to preserve my personal image of myself. The more fragile my self-image, the harder I will struggle to preserve it.
If we can't distinguish who we are from what we do, what we have, or who we do it with, we won't see past our titles or tenure in a discussion.
In our devotion to progress, we must be able to vigorously debate ideas and not let identity get in the way.
Good leaders keep their minds open. Great leaders open the minds of others in the most intense circumstances, even against the odds of prejudice, politics, and habit.
Regardless of what others say or how they act, a genuine exchange of ideas isn't possible until people are sure that what is being questioned is their ideas, not their identity.
If that security is missing or in question, progress stalls because minds close to questions, challenges, new ideas, differences and so on.
Our ability to create open minds is driven largely by what others feel our regard is for them.
Unconditional positive regard assures people we are not interested in changing their identity, even if we are inviting them to change their mind. If people don't feel it necessary to protect their identity, they are able to focus on debating ideas.
It is not easy to hold people in unconditional positive regard when they have a history with us, we have a bagage about them, or the debate is hitting close to home. If that's the case, we have to work harder to suspend juddgement
Father, why my RA is acting up. I know my feet swelled cos I was walkin too much on Saturday. But now even d fingers on left hand swell, something that has not happen in a long long time.
Work wise, is fine. I didn't receive response from SS, but I think he need to think of d increment to my staff rather than my proposal for 3 days week on unpaid leave mode. So that's settled.
Only thing is now Samyama. I admit this week, I was nearin end, but God gave me other options of food and that helped me to sail d week thru and now only 2 weeks to go before I leave for samyama.
Reading Bhagavad abt havin to renounce all to achieve enlightenment is impossible for me. So, ego is saying if that is not possible why go samyama. Why do 40 days veg.
Aiyah,don't be hard on myself. Nearly every tom, dick and henry did samyama without any achievement. So, jus do it.
Bhagavad Gita
This power of renunciation does not involve any loss to the devotee, but gives him opportunity to remove and forsakes all those thing that retard his spiritual progress.
Don't be neutrel as the state is worse than negativeness. In the negative state, the devotee is afraid to foresake sense attachment; in the neutrel state he has attachment to neither Godf nor to the senses - his entire powers of activity are paralysed.
Without deep yoga meditation, in which the devotee trains the mind and life force to remain concentrated in the higher and spiritual centers of expression, there is little hope of the sensory self-control necessay to overcome the bad habit that constitute one's lower nature.
Egonomics
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
When we embrace humility's confident, dual nature, the early warnin signs of ego are eradicated. Comparison weakens because while we can strive to be something significant, we don't suffer from the delusions that we can be everything.
Seeking acceptance is uneasy next to humility because we are at ease being both love and disliked.
Foolish is the person that takes offense when none was intended. More foolish is the person that takes offense when it was intended.
Ego.
We all have a personal image that we must protect. For eg, I do not want to be seen by others, and particularly by myself as weak, as ill advised, as less than worthy, as stupid, as someone who cannot be respected. I will do whatever necessary to preserve my personal image of myself. The more fragile my self-image, the harder I will struggle to preserve it.
If we can't distinguish who we are from what we do, what we have, or who we do it with, we won't see past our titles or tenure in a discussion.
In our devotion to progress, we must be able to vigorously debate ideas and not let identity get in the way.
Good leaders keep their minds open. Great leaders open the minds of others in the most intense circumstances, even against the odds of prejudice, politics, and habit.
Regardless of what others say or how they act, a genuine exchange of ideas isn't possible until people are sure that what is being questioned is their ideas, not their identity.
If that security is missing or in question, progress stalls because minds close to questions, challenges, new ideas, differences and so on.
Our ability to create open minds is driven largely by what others feel our regard is for them.
Unconditional positive regard assures people we are not interested in changing their identity, even if we are inviting them to change their mind. If people don't feel it necessary to protect their identity, they are able to focus on debating ideas.
It is not easy to hold people in unconditional positive regard when they have a history with us, we have a bagage about them, or the debate is hitting close to home. If that's the case, we have to work harder to suspend juddgement
Father, why my RA is acting up. I know my feet swelled cos I was walkin too much on Saturday. But now even d fingers on left hand swell, something that has not happen in a long long time.
Work wise, is fine. I didn't receive response from SS, but I think he need to think of d increment to my staff rather than my proposal for 3 days week on unpaid leave mode. So that's settled.
Only thing is now Samyama. I admit this week, I was nearin end, but God gave me other options of food and that helped me to sail d week thru and now only 2 weeks to go before I leave for samyama.
Reading Bhagavad abt havin to renounce all to achieve enlightenment is impossible for me. So, ego is saying if that is not possible why go samyama. Why do 40 days veg.
Aiyah,don't be hard on myself. Nearly every tom, dick and henry did samyama without any achievement. So, jus do it.
Bhagavad Gita
This power of renunciation does not involve any loss to the devotee, but gives him opportunity to remove and forsakes all those thing that retard his spiritual progress.
Don't be neutrel as the state is worse than negativeness. In the negative state, the devotee is afraid to foresake sense attachment; in the neutrel state he has attachment to neither Godf nor to the senses - his entire powers of activity are paralysed.
Without deep yoga meditation, in which the devotee trains the mind and life force to remain concentrated in the higher and spiritual centers of expression, there is little hope of the sensory self-control necessay to overcome the bad habit that constitute one's lower nature.
Destiny cards - Aces
Jan 31
Aces
They are the prodigal sons seeking to come home.
They are seeking self-acceptance.
Ace of diamond finds conflict between driving ambition and the desire for companionship and marriage
The Ace of heart search for themselves in their relationships wit lovers, family and friends as well.
Sadhguru's msg
Boundless
Home, Home - Home for what!
Is it of brick and mud for security and shelter?
Or is it of love, companionship and comfort?
Homes of shelter and security or love and comfort
No homes for me
Shambho my only Home
Homeless he is and Homeless I am
Boundless
Soul
What a coincidence, same Home message in Sadhguru's poem.
I interpret this as me searching for my Self, my Home. For a long long while, I search for my Self in Career and now finally I know that's not for me. But I still I search for my Self in relationship.
Last 52 days was 3 of diamond - about uncertainty in value; I hav set aside my career for my happiness cos I know my passion is not in my career.
But a part of me is wondering if my Ace of Heart - searching for partner. Am I finally getting It. Part of me knew that getting a partner does not meant I m Home cos there will be work.
So, while I am excited but m also apprehensive. I don't really look forward to it although I want it.
(It is a paradox that Ace that often feel the need to be by themselves also have a great longing for the perfect mate)
Ace of Diamond - desire for money and love
Ace of Heart - desire for love.
Mmm, looks like I finally choose love over money.
Ace of heart - year card
Have strong spiritual inclinations, but they are often tempted off the path by indecision and hidden desire
Soul - I have 3 diamond and now 3 hearts. Talk abt indecisions.
Ace of heart - work
Need to be careful not to let themselves get stretched too far or in too many directions, which could cause great stress and physical problem. (Soul - now only i know. If i had known earlier, i wouldnt have aggravated my immune system)
Quiet time away from their work is healing remedy (Soul _ yea, i like relaxing time)
They are better off structuring their life and work so that they have some flexibility available at all times. (Soul - mmm, correct and I jus negotiated for a 3 days work week.)
Ace of heart - love
Can be selfish and concerned only with their own needs. Fear about having not enough money and 'things' an interfere wit their love life. (Soul - true, my partner has to be rich as not only i have security issue, I also want luxury life :)
To be happy, an Ace of heart would probably need a relationship that had some variety of shared experiences, good communications and opportunities to travel. (Soul - very true, this is the same things I wrote in my Top 5 Passion).
Ace of Heart
The first card in the deck - represent the coming out into the world, of our soul and personality.
It represent stepping out from the unmanifested potential of zero.
As such, it represent word of God being made manifest, sort of like an instruction to go forth and create something.
More into a discovery of their self-identity than anything else.
On the highest level, Ace of Heart means 'love of the self'. If we can first love ourselves, we can then find love everywhere we go.
They need time alone and ask the question, 'What will make me happy?'. It is love of self that brings the truest satisfaction, but how can love of self and love for another co-exist in a human relationship?
Who comes first, our partner or ourself?
First of all, we can realise that the love we feel for another person and the wonderful qualities that we see in them are actually within ourself. They may have been the catalyst that helped us to see those part of ourselves, but in truth, these qualities and feeling belongs to us alone.
(Soul - suddenly tot, cld it work in reverse, like the negative thing we saw in others - isnt this concept is like the mirror/projection mentioned by Krishnamurti)
This is an important part of Ace of Heart's lesson.
In truth, our partner may or may not share the wonderful feelings or qualities that we are experiencing. (Soul - just like when others think negatively of me, I don't even sense it)
Our feelings are jus that, our feelings.
When we come to that realisation, we begin to see that all of our relationships are just mirrors of ourselves.
We can then transfer love we feel back to ourselves and really see just how special we are.
Then we can love our partners without being afraid that they will run away and take all this love we feel with them.
Soul - my issue of abandoment is the lesson.
Now I have loved my spiritual path, giving it all, something that I have never given to anyone or anything. For the first time, I am going all out.
The hidden question, what wil I get? Is is worth it? Will I get the mate that I want? Will I get the succes that I want?
Frankly I don't know where this will lead to. For now, I jus wan to be healed of RA n to be at peace n happy most of d time. I m not seeking enlightenment cos I think the price is too much to pay.
For d first time since I found Isha, I don't know where m heading. Whether up or down.
Actually, I tot I loved A n I tot I given a lot, but compared to my giving now, it is insignificant. But perhaps 10 years ago, that's all I can give. That's all d courage I have.
Ace of heart - year card
Karma card for Ace of heart
- Ace of diamond - planetary ruling for me
- Three of Heart - 52 days cards in this critical period of samyama.
Three of heart
Stepping out into a world of duality and confusion
It is like arriving on some planet for the first time and having to figure everything for urself
However, 3 of heart are eternally inquisitive and mentally self-equipped to evaluate and anaylse the things they observe.
Two of their most important lessons in life are overcoming their fear of poverty and learning to translate value-based indecision into creativity in their work or business.
They are learning to develop faith that the necessary resources will always be there for them when needed.
Much of their own financial lack, whether real or imagined, stems from unclarity about what is most important to them in life.
In this case, their own natural creativity becomes a burden of indecision.
They can come up with so many ideas of what to do and what they might want that they never finish what they start or accumulate enough to feel financially secure.
This same indecision can be at the root of some very challenging and karmic
relationships in which they meet someone who shares these same qualities and leaves them in doubt about whether or not they are loved.
Once the 3 of heart has learned the value of foundation and stability, their creativity becomes a great talent that leads them towards their goals.
Once they learn that it is as good to give as to receive, they find great fulfillment in giving love and truth to others in their life.
Those who spend their later years pursuing metaphysical or religious subjects have more satisfaction and peace. (Soul - definitely the phase I am going thru now)
Of the all the 3s, the 3 of heart can become the most confused mentally and emotionally.
In search of what and whom they love, they can often become uncertain or dissatisfied, even when they find the perfect love standing in front of them.
On a deeper level, the 3 of heart can represent emotional uncertainty, "Will I be loved?" and "Will I be happy in love?" Are question that are often utmost in their minds.
This uncertainty can often be traced to emotionally challenging experiences in childhood.
Soul - this is so true. Same questions I asked earlier.
The Ace of Heart first karma card tells us that what is most needed by the 3 of Heart person is to spend some time with themselves so that they can learn to be more emotionally self-reliant and self-sustaining.
When 3 of heart give some of their abundant energy back to themselves, they feel less needy and less frantic about getting love from others.
Then their love life becomes much more fun and enjoyable, which is how they want it to be. These people love to be light and cheerful.
They are very charming and attractive people and have no trouble attracting others to love.
The challenge comes once they find someone. They generally are attracted to those of wit and high intelligence, but often someone who is just as indecisive as themselves.
A major lesson for most Three is that intimacy needs some form of commitment. Intimacy is what we all want on some level. We want to get so close to another person that we can feel and enjoy the depths of their love and our love for them.
However, when we start to feel this tremendous love, we also become aware of other feelings that have been hidden from our conscious minds, feelings like fear of abandonment or our own rejection of ourselves.
Thus our search for love scares us more than anything else.
It takes a commitment wit another person to give us the courage to hang in there and faced these fears while we are enjoying the love we share wit our partners.
The Queen of Diamond that break this pattern are those who honestly confront themselves and put effort into unraveling their deepest fear. They can then have a successful and longlasting marriage.
With conscious awareness and love, any negative pattern in any Birth card can be transformed into a high expression of profound beauty.
Amen
3 of clubs - Writer card (Queen of Diamond venus card - No wonder, my love is always 'mental' driven)
If they utilise their inheritance of spiritual knowledge, much success can be realised.
They are here to be transformers of energy - worry into creativity and fear into faith.
They can become prominent authors and speakers.
This one of the strongest business card.
Aces
They are the prodigal sons seeking to come home.
They are seeking self-acceptance.
Ace of diamond finds conflict between driving ambition and the desire for companionship and marriage
The Ace of heart search for themselves in their relationships wit lovers, family and friends as well.
Sadhguru's msg
Boundless
Home, Home - Home for what!
Is it of brick and mud for security and shelter?
Or is it of love, companionship and comfort?
Homes of shelter and security or love and comfort
No homes for me
Shambho my only Home
Homeless he is and Homeless I am
Boundless
Soul
What a coincidence, same Home message in Sadhguru's poem.
I interpret this as me searching for my Self, my Home. For a long long while, I search for my Self in Career and now finally I know that's not for me. But I still I search for my Self in relationship.
Last 52 days was 3 of diamond - about uncertainty in value; I hav set aside my career for my happiness cos I know my passion is not in my career.
But a part of me is wondering if my Ace of Heart - searching for partner. Am I finally getting It. Part of me knew that getting a partner does not meant I m Home cos there will be work.
So, while I am excited but m also apprehensive. I don't really look forward to it although I want it.
(It is a paradox that Ace that often feel the need to be by themselves also have a great longing for the perfect mate)
Ace of Diamond - desire for money and love
Ace of Heart - desire for love.
Mmm, looks like I finally choose love over money.
Ace of heart - year card
Have strong spiritual inclinations, but they are often tempted off the path by indecision and hidden desire
Soul - I have 3 diamond and now 3 hearts. Talk abt indecisions.
Ace of heart - work
Need to be careful not to let themselves get stretched too far or in too many directions, which could cause great stress and physical problem. (Soul - now only i know. If i had known earlier, i wouldnt have aggravated my immune system)
Quiet time away from their work is healing remedy (Soul _ yea, i like relaxing time)
They are better off structuring their life and work so that they have some flexibility available at all times. (Soul - mmm, correct and I jus negotiated for a 3 days work week.)
Ace of heart - love
Can be selfish and concerned only with their own needs. Fear about having not enough money and 'things' an interfere wit their love life. (Soul - true, my partner has to be rich as not only i have security issue, I also want luxury life :)
To be happy, an Ace of heart would probably need a relationship that had some variety of shared experiences, good communications and opportunities to travel. (Soul - very true, this is the same things I wrote in my Top 5 Passion).
Ace of Heart
The first card in the deck - represent the coming out into the world, of our soul and personality.
It represent stepping out from the unmanifested potential of zero.
As such, it represent word of God being made manifest, sort of like an instruction to go forth and create something.
More into a discovery of their self-identity than anything else.
On the highest level, Ace of Heart means 'love of the self'. If we can first love ourselves, we can then find love everywhere we go.
They need time alone and ask the question, 'What will make me happy?'. It is love of self that brings the truest satisfaction, but how can love of self and love for another co-exist in a human relationship?
Who comes first, our partner or ourself?
First of all, we can realise that the love we feel for another person and the wonderful qualities that we see in them are actually within ourself. They may have been the catalyst that helped us to see those part of ourselves, but in truth, these qualities and feeling belongs to us alone.
(Soul - suddenly tot, cld it work in reverse, like the negative thing we saw in others - isnt this concept is like the mirror/projection mentioned by Krishnamurti)
This is an important part of Ace of Heart's lesson.
In truth, our partner may or may not share the wonderful feelings or qualities that we are experiencing. (Soul - just like when others think negatively of me, I don't even sense it)
Our feelings are jus that, our feelings.
When we come to that realisation, we begin to see that all of our relationships are just mirrors of ourselves.
We can then transfer love we feel back to ourselves and really see just how special we are.
Then we can love our partners without being afraid that they will run away and take all this love we feel with them.
Soul - my issue of abandoment is the lesson.
Now I have loved my spiritual path, giving it all, something that I have never given to anyone or anything. For the first time, I am going all out.
The hidden question, what wil I get? Is is worth it? Will I get the mate that I want? Will I get the succes that I want?
Frankly I don't know where this will lead to. For now, I jus wan to be healed of RA n to be at peace n happy most of d time. I m not seeking enlightenment cos I think the price is too much to pay.
For d first time since I found Isha, I don't know where m heading. Whether up or down.
Actually, I tot I loved A n I tot I given a lot, but compared to my giving now, it is insignificant. But perhaps 10 years ago, that's all I can give. That's all d courage I have.
Ace of heart - year card
Karma card for Ace of heart
- Ace of diamond - planetary ruling for me
- Three of Heart - 52 days cards in this critical period of samyama.
Three of heart
Stepping out into a world of duality and confusion
It is like arriving on some planet for the first time and having to figure everything for urself
However, 3 of heart are eternally inquisitive and mentally self-equipped to evaluate and anaylse the things they observe.
Two of their most important lessons in life are overcoming their fear of poverty and learning to translate value-based indecision into creativity in their work or business.
They are learning to develop faith that the necessary resources will always be there for them when needed.
Much of their own financial lack, whether real or imagined, stems from unclarity about what is most important to them in life.
In this case, their own natural creativity becomes a burden of indecision.
They can come up with so many ideas of what to do and what they might want that they never finish what they start or accumulate enough to feel financially secure.
This same indecision can be at the root of some very challenging and karmic
relationships in which they meet someone who shares these same qualities and leaves them in doubt about whether or not they are loved.
Once the 3 of heart has learned the value of foundation and stability, their creativity becomes a great talent that leads them towards their goals.
Once they learn that it is as good to give as to receive, they find great fulfillment in giving love and truth to others in their life.
Those who spend their later years pursuing metaphysical or religious subjects have more satisfaction and peace. (Soul - definitely the phase I am going thru now)
Of the all the 3s, the 3 of heart can become the most confused mentally and emotionally.
In search of what and whom they love, they can often become uncertain or dissatisfied, even when they find the perfect love standing in front of them.
On a deeper level, the 3 of heart can represent emotional uncertainty, "Will I be loved?" and "Will I be happy in love?" Are question that are often utmost in their minds.
This uncertainty can often be traced to emotionally challenging experiences in childhood.
Soul - this is so true. Same questions I asked earlier.
The Ace of Heart first karma card tells us that what is most needed by the 3 of Heart person is to spend some time with themselves so that they can learn to be more emotionally self-reliant and self-sustaining.
When 3 of heart give some of their abundant energy back to themselves, they feel less needy and less frantic about getting love from others.
Then their love life becomes much more fun and enjoyable, which is how they want it to be. These people love to be light and cheerful.
They are very charming and attractive people and have no trouble attracting others to love.
The challenge comes once they find someone. They generally are attracted to those of wit and high intelligence, but often someone who is just as indecisive as themselves.
A major lesson for most Three is that intimacy needs some form of commitment. Intimacy is what we all want on some level. We want to get so close to another person that we can feel and enjoy the depths of their love and our love for them.
However, when we start to feel this tremendous love, we also become aware of other feelings that have been hidden from our conscious minds, feelings like fear of abandonment or our own rejection of ourselves.
Thus our search for love scares us more than anything else.
It takes a commitment wit another person to give us the courage to hang in there and faced these fears while we are enjoying the love we share wit our partners.
The Queen of Diamond that break this pattern are those who honestly confront themselves and put effort into unraveling their deepest fear. They can then have a successful and longlasting marriage.
With conscious awareness and love, any negative pattern in any Birth card can be transformed into a high expression of profound beauty.
Amen
3 of clubs - Writer card (Queen of Diamond venus card - No wonder, my love is always 'mental' driven)
If they utilise their inheritance of spiritual knowledge, much success can be realised.
They are here to be transformers of energy - worry into creativity and fear into faith.
They can become prominent authors and speakers.
This one of the strongest business card.
Balancing with partial renunciation
Jan 30
Bhagavad Gita
When he withdraws his wisdom faculties from the enslavement of sense pleasures, he at first feels and emptiness; but when he goes deeper into meditation, his discriminative faculties consciously enjoy a new world of superconscious bliss, found only in soul contact with the Infinite.
When the vitality of concentration and wisdom is developed, it inspires the soul and the Intuitional powers; the inspired soul in turn reinforces the wisdom and intuition wit all- seeing powers.
When the Inner Self is urging the devotee to destroy even the mental or imaginary gratification of a sense pleasure, he reacts childishly by rebelling against any mode of self-discipline.
The devotee should now relax and not to be too strict in disciplining the unruly child, his unconvinced mind. This state is finally overcome by concentrating upon the peace born of even partial renunciation and reasonable effort in meditation, enjoying moderate appeasement in wholesome sense pleasure.
Soul - exactly what m doing now.
Bhagavad Gita.
When devotee finds himself bothered wit doubts, picturing a hollow victory wit his mind a deserted battlefield full of corpses of wisdom-slain material desires, he should rather think of the habitual material desires as enemies in disguise.
They promised him happiness, yet planned to give him only worries, insatiable longings, broken hopes, disillusionments and death!
Although it is hard in the beginning for him to give up the kinds of material pleasures that obstruct the expression of the soul, renouncing such evil is his only hope of gaining lasting spiritual blessedness.
Soul - yea, my doubt abt partial retirement cleared and I am reaffirmed after my visit to doctor last Thursday.
Bhagavad Gita
If devotees do not progress, it is because they discard their weapons of self-control; a discouraged devotee often gives up all self-discipline when he does not attain spectacular achievements in spiritual path.
He refuses to meditate, avoid his spiritual instructor/teacher/lessons and drifts into a mental dimness of spiritual indifference in which there is only an occassional glimmer of intuitive perception.
This lackadaisical state of mind should be remedied by regular meditation and constant discrimination against sense mind's false arguments.
All is far from lost so long as the devotee thus strives to attune himself to the guidance and grace of the Divine Charioteer who, come to the aid of the devotee.
Bhagavad Gita
When he withdraws his wisdom faculties from the enslavement of sense pleasures, he at first feels and emptiness; but when he goes deeper into meditation, his discriminative faculties consciously enjoy a new world of superconscious bliss, found only in soul contact with the Infinite.
When the vitality of concentration and wisdom is developed, it inspires the soul and the Intuitional powers; the inspired soul in turn reinforces the wisdom and intuition wit all- seeing powers.
When the Inner Self is urging the devotee to destroy even the mental or imaginary gratification of a sense pleasure, he reacts childishly by rebelling against any mode of self-discipline.
The devotee should now relax and not to be too strict in disciplining the unruly child, his unconvinced mind. This state is finally overcome by concentrating upon the peace born of even partial renunciation and reasonable effort in meditation, enjoying moderate appeasement in wholesome sense pleasure.
Soul - exactly what m doing now.
Bhagavad Gita.
When devotee finds himself bothered wit doubts, picturing a hollow victory wit his mind a deserted battlefield full of corpses of wisdom-slain material desires, he should rather think of the habitual material desires as enemies in disguise.
They promised him happiness, yet planned to give him only worries, insatiable longings, broken hopes, disillusionments and death!
Although it is hard in the beginning for him to give up the kinds of material pleasures that obstruct the expression of the soul, renouncing such evil is his only hope of gaining lasting spiritual blessedness.
Soul - yea, my doubt abt partial retirement cleared and I am reaffirmed after my visit to doctor last Thursday.
Bhagavad Gita
If devotees do not progress, it is because they discard their weapons of self-control; a discouraged devotee often gives up all self-discipline when he does not attain spectacular achievements in spiritual path.
He refuses to meditate, avoid his spiritual instructor/teacher/lessons and drifts into a mental dimness of spiritual indifference in which there is only an occassional glimmer of intuitive perception.
This lackadaisical state of mind should be remedied by regular meditation and constant discrimination against sense mind's false arguments.
All is far from lost so long as the devotee thus strives to attune himself to the guidance and grace of the Divine Charioteer who, come to the aid of the devotee.
If u get the inside right, the outside will fall into place
Jan 29
Father, today meditation, I found myself always havin tots of future. I wake up several times and in d end cut short meditation cos I felt I wasn't focusing.
No wonder I hav anxiety attack.
The Power of Now
Observe the many ways in which unease, discontent and tension arise within you through unnecessary judgement, resistance to what is and denial of the Now.
Anything unconscious dissolves when u shine d light of consciousness, the light of ur presence will shine brightly, and it will be much easier to deal with deep unconsciousness whenever u feel its gravitational pull.
Soul - even driving to work, m lost in tot. Wake myself up a few times.
The Power of Now
Make it a habit to monitor ur mental-emotional state through self-observation.
If u get the inside right, the outside will fall into place. Primary reality within, secondary reality without.
Soul - tot of d friend, J of Heart, fixed card n want to control others. No wonder d friend doesn't seek my company cos she can't control me and infact I can even shake her fixed belief. I am a threat to her ego. Then tot of her changing career, tot of it as a major transformation. But 2nd tot came in, is sacrificing and that's her personality of a martyr. Infact she takes pride in it. Perhaps it wasn't such a big cut to her ego, unlike mine.
Me, am even embarrased at times cos dare to have such lofty dream and resentful at times for having knowledge that comes wit responsibility. Also remembering that I need to change cos I wan to heal myself. Mmmm.
My lesson is to give to the Universe and her lesson is to receive from the Universe.
The Power of Now
Do u resent doing what u r doing? It may be ur job or u may have agreed n r doing it, but part of u resents and resist.
Maybe u r being taken advantage of, or maybe the activity u r engaged in is tedious, maybe someone close to u is dishonest, irritating or unconscious, but all this is irrelevant.
Whether ur tots and emotions abt ur situation are justified or not makes no difference. The fact is that you are resisting what is.
You are making the present moment into an enemy. You are creating unhappiness, conflict between the inner and outer. Your unhappiness is polluting not only your own inner being and those around u but also the collective human psyche of which u r in an unseparable part.
Either stop doing what u r doing, speak to the person concerned and express fully what u feel or drop the negativity that ur mind has created around the situation and that serves no purpose whatsoever except to strenghten a false sense of self. Recognising its futility is important.
Negativity is never the optimum way of dealing wit any situation. Infact, in most cases, it keeps u stuck in it, blocking real change.
Anything that is done wit negative energy will become contaminated by it and in time give rise to more pain, more unhappiness.
Furthermore, any negative inner state is contagious. Unhappiness spreads more easily than a physical disease. Through the law of resonance, it triggers and feeds latent negativity in others, unless they are immune - that is, highly conscious.
Soul - tot of CEO and PA. Now wonder dramatic and explosive and coupled wit the high energy at CEO's house resulting in immediate execution of law of resonance.
The Power of Now
Are u polluting the world or cleaning up the mess? You are responsible for ur inner space, nobody else is, just as u r responsible for the planet. As within, so without.
If human clears inner pollution, then they will also cease to create outer pollution.
Soul - big responsibility. I did take action. The main thing in my job that I don't like is reporting and now I can offload. I also wanted time to do my study of astral matter and now I can. I also have a lovely team.
This is a real year of change. I jus went thru 52 days of 3 diamond, uncertainty of what I valued - corporate work or spiritual work and that is decided and now next 52 days is 3 of hearts
3 of hearts
Signifies creativity or indecision in affection that can manifest in different ways. This could indicate having 2 or more love interests at the same time or simply that we are unsure of where to place our affections.
This indecision can lead to either more fun or worry or fear, depending upon how to handle this.
This card's influence usually occurs at a time when we are wanting to learn about love through experimentation and variety. Its presence usually means that we will not be making any hard and fast relationship commitments until later.
On a positive note, the Three of Hearts is a card of self-expression and its presnec can indicate that we are talking more, expressing our feelings and meeting new people.
Soul - m seeing Red.
Saying not possible cos I don't have anyone. Don't wan to face disappointment. M ok to be alone. I wld interpret d card as Creativity, meeting new people for my new venture.
Another tot came, why u think u can't have? Isn't it time to explore the possibility.
Ok, jus be open.
Secondly, I tot this period is abt soul devt since m goin to samyama. Not sure if this is a conducive card for my spiritual devt. I wanted the focus to be on samyama - liberation of all my limitation
A voice came - yeap, intimate rships is ur issue. U believe no one wants u and now u have so many choice u can't decide. Isn't this a happy news! Isn't this the right lesson if u wan to liberate urself.
Thirdly - perfect cos year card is also Heart.
Father, today meditation, I found myself always havin tots of future. I wake up several times and in d end cut short meditation cos I felt I wasn't focusing.
No wonder I hav anxiety attack.
The Power of Now
Observe the many ways in which unease, discontent and tension arise within you through unnecessary judgement, resistance to what is and denial of the Now.
Anything unconscious dissolves when u shine d light of consciousness, the light of ur presence will shine brightly, and it will be much easier to deal with deep unconsciousness whenever u feel its gravitational pull.
Soul - even driving to work, m lost in tot. Wake myself up a few times.
The Power of Now
Make it a habit to monitor ur mental-emotional state through self-observation.
If u get the inside right, the outside will fall into place. Primary reality within, secondary reality without.
Soul - tot of d friend, J of Heart, fixed card n want to control others. No wonder d friend doesn't seek my company cos she can't control me and infact I can even shake her fixed belief. I am a threat to her ego. Then tot of her changing career, tot of it as a major transformation. But 2nd tot came in, is sacrificing and that's her personality of a martyr. Infact she takes pride in it. Perhaps it wasn't such a big cut to her ego, unlike mine.
Me, am even embarrased at times cos dare to have such lofty dream and resentful at times for having knowledge that comes wit responsibility. Also remembering that I need to change cos I wan to heal myself. Mmmm.
My lesson is to give to the Universe and her lesson is to receive from the Universe.
The Power of Now
Do u resent doing what u r doing? It may be ur job or u may have agreed n r doing it, but part of u resents and resist.
Maybe u r being taken advantage of, or maybe the activity u r engaged in is tedious, maybe someone close to u is dishonest, irritating or unconscious, but all this is irrelevant.
Whether ur tots and emotions abt ur situation are justified or not makes no difference. The fact is that you are resisting what is.
You are making the present moment into an enemy. You are creating unhappiness, conflict between the inner and outer. Your unhappiness is polluting not only your own inner being and those around u but also the collective human psyche of which u r in an unseparable part.
Either stop doing what u r doing, speak to the person concerned and express fully what u feel or drop the negativity that ur mind has created around the situation and that serves no purpose whatsoever except to strenghten a false sense of self. Recognising its futility is important.
Negativity is never the optimum way of dealing wit any situation. Infact, in most cases, it keeps u stuck in it, blocking real change.
Anything that is done wit negative energy will become contaminated by it and in time give rise to more pain, more unhappiness.
Furthermore, any negative inner state is contagious. Unhappiness spreads more easily than a physical disease. Through the law of resonance, it triggers and feeds latent negativity in others, unless they are immune - that is, highly conscious.
Soul - tot of CEO and PA. Now wonder dramatic and explosive and coupled wit the high energy at CEO's house resulting in immediate execution of law of resonance.
The Power of Now
Are u polluting the world or cleaning up the mess? You are responsible for ur inner space, nobody else is, just as u r responsible for the planet. As within, so without.
If human clears inner pollution, then they will also cease to create outer pollution.
Soul - big responsibility. I did take action. The main thing in my job that I don't like is reporting and now I can offload. I also wanted time to do my study of astral matter and now I can. I also have a lovely team.
This is a real year of change. I jus went thru 52 days of 3 diamond, uncertainty of what I valued - corporate work or spiritual work and that is decided and now next 52 days is 3 of hearts
3 of hearts
Signifies creativity or indecision in affection that can manifest in different ways. This could indicate having 2 or more love interests at the same time or simply that we are unsure of where to place our affections.
This indecision can lead to either more fun or worry or fear, depending upon how to handle this.
This card's influence usually occurs at a time when we are wanting to learn about love through experimentation and variety. Its presence usually means that we will not be making any hard and fast relationship commitments until later.
On a positive note, the Three of Hearts is a card of self-expression and its presnec can indicate that we are talking more, expressing our feelings and meeting new people.
Soul - m seeing Red.
Saying not possible cos I don't have anyone. Don't wan to face disappointment. M ok to be alone. I wld interpret d card as Creativity, meeting new people for my new venture.
Another tot came, why u think u can't have? Isn't it time to explore the possibility.
Ok, jus be open.
Secondly, I tot this period is abt soul devt since m goin to samyama. Not sure if this is a conducive card for my spiritual devt. I wanted the focus to be on samyama - liberation of all my limitation
A voice came - yeap, intimate rships is ur issue. U believe no one wants u and now u have so many choice u can't decide. Isn't this a happy news! Isn't this the right lesson if u wan to liberate urself.
Thirdly - perfect cos year card is also Heart.
Too much Past and too much Future - results in negativity
Jan 28
Father, thank u for the quarterly reminder at the hospital that if I don't balance myself, d outcome will be crippling. Jus now, hav to help another patient. Her knee is spoilt n require surgery. Her back bone is all crooked. Her daughter told me she has overworked.
According to the doctor, one of the side effect of my medication is fever n cough. No wonder of late I been having cough, something that i havent had for 1 year but much better. Will continue wit yoga. According to doctor, result in Nov showed that due my affected liver, it resulted in higher cholestrol. Well, its 2 mths later n m sure m fine.
Thanks for motivating me. I jus wan to heal myself. Whatever it takes.
A new earth
All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present.
Too much future and not enough presence - unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry and all forms of fear.
Too much past and not enough presence. - guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness and all forms of non-forgiveness.
Soul - m definitely too much future.
Afternoon
Jus now when I was in d hospital, looking at the crippling pain that patient encounter. I said I will find a cure. I will heal myself and others. We not supposed to suffer like this. There is a way out n since Western doctor only give symphtomatic relief that also causes other illness. We can't rely on them.
I am sure of my 3 days week. I will heal myself an others.
Also, met a lady who saw me reading yoga matters n she asked if m doing meditation. I replied yes n told her d benefits that others experience. She sound keen n I told her that I can call her when the program in March comes up.
Today Nine of club
You are ready to awaken to a new and higher way of thinking that will be better than u have imagined.
This is a time when powerful spiritual experiences occur, such as universal consciousness and also indicates the success of any endeavours that involve spreading higher truth to the world.
Amen
The power of Now.
Dysfunction of the mind - its attachment to past and future and denial of the Now.
If all ur problems or perceived causes of suffering or unhappiness were miraculously removed for u today, but u had not become more present, more conscious, u would soon find urself wit a similar set of problems or causes of suffering, like a shadow that follows u wherever u go. (Soul - Back in the Past)
Ultimately, there is only one problem, the time
There is no salvation in time. You cannot be free in the future. Presence is the key to freedom, so u can only be free now.
Soul - how true. No wonder I find issues never ending. I tot it was my mind generating shit. But now I realised I m responsible for not being conscious n follow my mind.
I have unravelled all my unconsciousness but is there. And the only way is now to stay conscious.
The Power of Now
When u r full of problems, there is no room for anything new to enter, no room for a solution.
So, whenever u can, create some space, so that u find the life underneath ur life situation.
Use ur senses fully n observed.
Soul - I find that I have created this space during meditation. And I m back. Today n yday, my laughter is back n I felt d strong connection to Universe once more.
The Power of Now.
Problems are mind-made and need time to survive.
There is no problems, only situations to be dealt with now, or to be left alone and accepted as part of the "isness" of the present moment until they change or can be dealt with.
"Problems" means that u r dwelling on a situation mentally without there being a true intention or possibility of taking action now and that u r unconsciously making it part of ur sense of self.
You become so overwhelmed by ur life situation that u lose ur sense of life, of Being.
Or, u r carrying in ur mind the insane burden of a hundred things that u will or may have to do in the future instead of focusing ur attention on the one thing that u can do now.
When u create problem, u create pain.
If u create no more pain for urself, then u create no more pain for others.
You also no longer contaminate the beautiful Earth, ur inner space and the collective human psyche wit the negativity of problem-making.
Soul - my tot is to heal myself by not creating any more pain.
The Power of Now.
As soon as u honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease.
So do not be concerned abt the fruit of ur action - jus give attention to the action itself. The fruit will come of its own accord.
Being free of psychological time, u no longer pursue ur goals with grim determination, driven by fear, anger, discontent or the need to become someone.
Nor will u remain inactive through fear of failure, which to the ego is a loss of self.
When ur deeper sense of self is derived from Being, when u r free of "becoming" as a psychological need, neither ur happiness nor ur sense of self depends on the outcome, and so there is freedom for fear.
Soul - yeap, M focus on jus learning d tools in 2010. Focus in balancing myself, enjoying my Being.
The Power of Now
When every cell of ur body is so present that it feels vibrant wit life, and when u can feel that life every moment as the joy of Being, then it can be said that u r free of time.
To be free of time is to be free of the psychological need of past for ur identity and future for ur fulfillment.
Soul - I m always evolving. Always moving forward, letting go of past. But m afraid of future cos I don't know what wil become of me. If I ever amount to anythjing.
The Power of Now
Ordinary unconsciousness means being identifed wit ur thought processes and emotions, your reactions, desires and aversions. It is most people's normal state. In that state u r run by the egoic mind and u r unaware of Being.
You will feel continuous low level of unease, discontent, boredom or nervousness - a kind of background static.
The unease of ordinary unconsciousness turns into the pain of deep unconsciousness, when things "go wrong", when the ego is threatened or there is a major challenge, threat or loss, real or imagined.
Deep unconsciousness often means pain-body has been triggered.
You can use a challenge to awaken you, or you can allow it to pull you into even deeper sleep.
Those challenges are ur tests. Only the way in which u deal with them will show you and others where u r at as far as ur state of consciousness is concerned, not how long you can sit with ur eyes closed or what visions u see.
Soul - that's telling.
The Power of Now.
So it is essential to bring more consciousness into ur life in ordinary situations when everything is going relatively smoothly. In this way, u grow in presence power.
Soul - noted. M doing it now.
Jan 28 Evening
Jus now meditation, went in deep into abyss. There were no light. Jus dark abyss. Yet so peace cos its all silence.
I felt like I ran miles n miles n coming to a rest. There is no more to run.
Its like d point when I m sleeping n yet I am awake.
Bhagavad Gita
The family members to be destroyed by devotee are not the senses themselves, but their offspring or inclinations - desires for objects of the senses. There r 2 kind of objects. The first is material objects and second is subtle objects in the astral world, which are perceived by the Godward- moving inner consciousness.
The outward objects of the senses breed material attachment; the inner objects of the senses destroy this physical attachment. However, long-continued association wit even the inner objects of sense may divert the mind of the devotee from higher soul perception and ultimate realisation of God.
Wit enhanced perceptions rooted in a knowledge of unending joy of God, the advance yogi, far more than a worldly man, is able to enjoy the sensory world - its people, its roses and its skies!
The man of realisation develops extraordinary powers of clairaudience and clairvoyance; the mind comprehends everything intuitively; the intelligence is no longer guided by fallible human reasons but by unerring divine wisdom.
It is as ridiculous for a person to fear that his various power will be annihilated by entering into superior estatic state of God-union, as it would be to fear the extinction of any of his powers by their nightly state of suspended animation in sleep.
Father, thank u for the quarterly reminder at the hospital that if I don't balance myself, d outcome will be crippling. Jus now, hav to help another patient. Her knee is spoilt n require surgery. Her back bone is all crooked. Her daughter told me she has overworked.
According to the doctor, one of the side effect of my medication is fever n cough. No wonder of late I been having cough, something that i havent had for 1 year but much better. Will continue wit yoga. According to doctor, result in Nov showed that due my affected liver, it resulted in higher cholestrol. Well, its 2 mths later n m sure m fine.
Thanks for motivating me. I jus wan to heal myself. Whatever it takes.
A new earth
All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present.
Too much future and not enough presence - unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry and all forms of fear.
Too much past and not enough presence. - guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness and all forms of non-forgiveness.
Soul - m definitely too much future.
Afternoon
Jus now when I was in d hospital, looking at the crippling pain that patient encounter. I said I will find a cure. I will heal myself and others. We not supposed to suffer like this. There is a way out n since Western doctor only give symphtomatic relief that also causes other illness. We can't rely on them.
I am sure of my 3 days week. I will heal myself an others.
Also, met a lady who saw me reading yoga matters n she asked if m doing meditation. I replied yes n told her d benefits that others experience. She sound keen n I told her that I can call her when the program in March comes up.
Today Nine of club
You are ready to awaken to a new and higher way of thinking that will be better than u have imagined.
This is a time when powerful spiritual experiences occur, such as universal consciousness and also indicates the success of any endeavours that involve spreading higher truth to the world.
Amen
The power of Now.
Dysfunction of the mind - its attachment to past and future and denial of the Now.
If all ur problems or perceived causes of suffering or unhappiness were miraculously removed for u today, but u had not become more present, more conscious, u would soon find urself wit a similar set of problems or causes of suffering, like a shadow that follows u wherever u go. (Soul - Back in the Past)
Ultimately, there is only one problem, the time
There is no salvation in time. You cannot be free in the future. Presence is the key to freedom, so u can only be free now.
Soul - how true. No wonder I find issues never ending. I tot it was my mind generating shit. But now I realised I m responsible for not being conscious n follow my mind.
I have unravelled all my unconsciousness but is there. And the only way is now to stay conscious.
The Power of Now
When u r full of problems, there is no room for anything new to enter, no room for a solution.
So, whenever u can, create some space, so that u find the life underneath ur life situation.
Use ur senses fully n observed.
Soul - I find that I have created this space during meditation. And I m back. Today n yday, my laughter is back n I felt d strong connection to Universe once more.
The Power of Now.
Problems are mind-made and need time to survive.
There is no problems, only situations to be dealt with now, or to be left alone and accepted as part of the "isness" of the present moment until they change or can be dealt with.
"Problems" means that u r dwelling on a situation mentally without there being a true intention or possibility of taking action now and that u r unconsciously making it part of ur sense of self.
You become so overwhelmed by ur life situation that u lose ur sense of life, of Being.
Or, u r carrying in ur mind the insane burden of a hundred things that u will or may have to do in the future instead of focusing ur attention on the one thing that u can do now.
When u create problem, u create pain.
If u create no more pain for urself, then u create no more pain for others.
You also no longer contaminate the beautiful Earth, ur inner space and the collective human psyche wit the negativity of problem-making.
Soul - my tot is to heal myself by not creating any more pain.
The Power of Now.
As soon as u honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease.
So do not be concerned abt the fruit of ur action - jus give attention to the action itself. The fruit will come of its own accord.
Being free of psychological time, u no longer pursue ur goals with grim determination, driven by fear, anger, discontent or the need to become someone.
Nor will u remain inactive through fear of failure, which to the ego is a loss of self.
When ur deeper sense of self is derived from Being, when u r free of "becoming" as a psychological need, neither ur happiness nor ur sense of self depends on the outcome, and so there is freedom for fear.
Soul - yeap, M focus on jus learning d tools in 2010. Focus in balancing myself, enjoying my Being.
The Power of Now
When every cell of ur body is so present that it feels vibrant wit life, and when u can feel that life every moment as the joy of Being, then it can be said that u r free of time.
To be free of time is to be free of the psychological need of past for ur identity and future for ur fulfillment.
Soul - I m always evolving. Always moving forward, letting go of past. But m afraid of future cos I don't know what wil become of me. If I ever amount to anythjing.
The Power of Now
Ordinary unconsciousness means being identifed wit ur thought processes and emotions, your reactions, desires and aversions. It is most people's normal state. In that state u r run by the egoic mind and u r unaware of Being.
You will feel continuous low level of unease, discontent, boredom or nervousness - a kind of background static.
The unease of ordinary unconsciousness turns into the pain of deep unconsciousness, when things "go wrong", when the ego is threatened or there is a major challenge, threat or loss, real or imagined.
Deep unconsciousness often means pain-body has been triggered.
You can use a challenge to awaken you, or you can allow it to pull you into even deeper sleep.
Those challenges are ur tests. Only the way in which u deal with them will show you and others where u r at as far as ur state of consciousness is concerned, not how long you can sit with ur eyes closed or what visions u see.
Soul - that's telling.
The Power of Now.
So it is essential to bring more consciousness into ur life in ordinary situations when everything is going relatively smoothly. In this way, u grow in presence power.
Soul - noted. M doing it now.
Jan 28 Evening
Jus now meditation, went in deep into abyss. There were no light. Jus dark abyss. Yet so peace cos its all silence.
I felt like I ran miles n miles n coming to a rest. There is no more to run.
Its like d point when I m sleeping n yet I am awake.
Bhagavad Gita
The family members to be destroyed by devotee are not the senses themselves, but their offspring or inclinations - desires for objects of the senses. There r 2 kind of objects. The first is material objects and second is subtle objects in the astral world, which are perceived by the Godward- moving inner consciousness.
The outward objects of the senses breed material attachment; the inner objects of the senses destroy this physical attachment. However, long-continued association wit even the inner objects of sense may divert the mind of the devotee from higher soul perception and ultimate realisation of God.
Wit enhanced perceptions rooted in a knowledge of unending joy of God, the advance yogi, far more than a worldly man, is able to enjoy the sensory world - its people, its roses and its skies!
The man of realisation develops extraordinary powers of clairaudience and clairvoyance; the mind comprehends everything intuitively; the intelligence is no longer guided by fallible human reasons but by unerring divine wisdom.
It is as ridiculous for a person to fear that his various power will be annihilated by entering into superior estatic state of God-union, as it would be to fear the extinction of any of his powers by their nightly state of suspended animation in sleep.
Awareness = Being in the Now
Jan 27
This mornin d meditation is deep. No laughter, during relax mode n shakti. Jus stillness, mind was saying where is d laughter, I replied jus enjoy d silence. There were no tot. At the point of relaxation, I find myself teethering d point of sleep. The conscious moment before mind shut down. Normal sleeping, I have never been conscious.
Perhaps what PA said was true, previously d expression of cries and laughter were jus a form of clearing. Now I finally start to meditate.
The general osho cards
1. The issue - Inner voice
If u hav found ur truth within urself, there is nothing more in this whole existence to find. Truth is functioning through u.
There are times in our lives when too many voices seem to be pulling us this way and that. Our very confusion in such situations is a reminder to seek silence and centering within. Only then we r able too hear the truth. The Inner Voice speaks not in words but in the wordless language of the heart.
Soul - yeap, centering within. M feeling better since yday lunch n this morning found fried noodle, more expensive but different taste. Food really does make me happy. Its a way I love myself and when I can't give myself food, I become sad. When m sad, difficult to connect wit Universe. I think main things is to balance, not to be overly dependent on food and not to renunciate food.
Yday, m surprised I can eat veg in a dim sum place. I also told my friend we can go non-veg place n I wil focus on veg. M fine.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see - Integration
The conflict is in man. The politics is within u. A very small bridge exist. If this bridge is strengthened so much that the 2 minds (both darkness and light) disappear as two and become one, then integration, then crystallisation, arises.
The card of integration is the symbol of self-creation, new life and mystical union, otherwise known as alchemy.
Soul - m facing it. During meditation, I can both look up n see light and can also look down and see darkness. Both asanes is also peaceful to me. As for my ego and higher Self, both I also accept. Life is about balance.
3. External influence - conditioning
Unless u drop ur personality, u will not be able to find ur individuality. Individuality is given by existence; personality
Is imposed by family and society.
Society cannot tolerate individuality, because individuality will not follow like a sheep. Individuality has the quality of the lion; the lion moves alone.
Time to wake up the sleeping lion within.
Soul - yeap. This last one and half year, I have changed so much. Thanks to Sadhguru, I m now at peace with myself, willing to break free from my career, courageous to strike out on my own.
4. What is needed for resolution - Awareness.
Once u start dropping thoughts, the dust that u have collected in the past, the flame arises - clean, clear, alive and young. Your whole life becomes a flame and a flame without smoke. That is what awareness is.
The awareness that is growing in you is not the result of any conscious "doing", nor do u need to struggle to make something happen.
Any sense u might have had that u have been groping in the dark is dissolving now or will be dissolving soon.
Let urself settle, and remember deep inside you are jus a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged.
A channel is now opening from the circumference of activity to that center of witnessing. It will help u to become detached, and a new awareness will lift the veil from ur eyes.
Soul - my heart beat and resonates cos this is what I tot this morning. Once I let go of d sign of laughter n jus relax, I went into a deep mode, somewhere I have never even touch, somewhere silent.
I had been wondering, frustating, thinking perhaps its not worth it cos until now nothing to show except laughter n even that also gone for this few days.
Alas, I am home.
5. Resolution - the understanding
No-thingness.
Nothing is not jus nothing, it is all. It is vibrant wit all possibilities. It is potential, absolute potential. It is unmanifest, but it contains all.
Being "in the gap" can be dsorienting and even scary. Nothing to hold on to, no sense of direction, not even a hint of what choices and possibilities might lie ahead. But it was jus this state of pure potential that existed before the universe was created.
And u can do now is to relax into this no-thingness ... Fall into this silence between the words ... watch this gap between outgoing and incoming breathe. And treasure each moment of the experience.
Something sacred is about to be born
Soul - similar to the Bhagavad Gita msg of period of vacuum before joy.
Thank u.
I m now more focused on my 3 days work week, I will not be thinking of a new career but I will take time to learn things that of interest n I will profile myself. I trust the Universe will guide me to whatever I need. I jus wan to focus on what makes me happy, which is learning and understanding and sharing of mystical tools of discovery.
Bhagavad Gita
Devotee wants to carry on wit both good and bad habits, apparently both satisfy him. How quickly he forgot that his sweet-mouthed bad habits, though they belong to his own family of consciousness, stealthily carry wit them the weapons that slay his peace.
Why can't I enjoy material and spiritual pleasure together?
Those whoe equally enjoy sensory indulgences and meditational pleasure will not get anywhere for a long time. A double minded man is unstable in all his way.
Good habit - meditating upon awakening from sleep.
The sensory functions hav their rightful place in man's life only after he has subordinated them by realising himself as the soul, one with Spirit, not a body subject to sense domination.
This mornin d meditation is deep. No laughter, during relax mode n shakti. Jus stillness, mind was saying where is d laughter, I replied jus enjoy d silence. There were no tot. At the point of relaxation, I find myself teethering d point of sleep. The conscious moment before mind shut down. Normal sleeping, I have never been conscious.
Perhaps what PA said was true, previously d expression of cries and laughter were jus a form of clearing. Now I finally start to meditate.
The general osho cards
1. The issue - Inner voice
If u hav found ur truth within urself, there is nothing more in this whole existence to find. Truth is functioning through u.
There are times in our lives when too many voices seem to be pulling us this way and that. Our very confusion in such situations is a reminder to seek silence and centering within. Only then we r able too hear the truth. The Inner Voice speaks not in words but in the wordless language of the heart.
Soul - yeap, centering within. M feeling better since yday lunch n this morning found fried noodle, more expensive but different taste. Food really does make me happy. Its a way I love myself and when I can't give myself food, I become sad. When m sad, difficult to connect wit Universe. I think main things is to balance, not to be overly dependent on food and not to renunciate food.
Yday, m surprised I can eat veg in a dim sum place. I also told my friend we can go non-veg place n I wil focus on veg. M fine.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see - Integration
The conflict is in man. The politics is within u. A very small bridge exist. If this bridge is strengthened so much that the 2 minds (both darkness and light) disappear as two and become one, then integration, then crystallisation, arises.
The card of integration is the symbol of self-creation, new life and mystical union, otherwise known as alchemy.
Soul - m facing it. During meditation, I can both look up n see light and can also look down and see darkness. Both asanes is also peaceful to me. As for my ego and higher Self, both I also accept. Life is about balance.
3. External influence - conditioning
Unless u drop ur personality, u will not be able to find ur individuality. Individuality is given by existence; personality
Is imposed by family and society.
Society cannot tolerate individuality, because individuality will not follow like a sheep. Individuality has the quality of the lion; the lion moves alone.
Time to wake up the sleeping lion within.
Soul - yeap. This last one and half year, I have changed so much. Thanks to Sadhguru, I m now at peace with myself, willing to break free from my career, courageous to strike out on my own.
4. What is needed for resolution - Awareness.
Once u start dropping thoughts, the dust that u have collected in the past, the flame arises - clean, clear, alive and young. Your whole life becomes a flame and a flame without smoke. That is what awareness is.
The awareness that is growing in you is not the result of any conscious "doing", nor do u need to struggle to make something happen.
Any sense u might have had that u have been groping in the dark is dissolving now or will be dissolving soon.
Let urself settle, and remember deep inside you are jus a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged.
A channel is now opening from the circumference of activity to that center of witnessing. It will help u to become detached, and a new awareness will lift the veil from ur eyes.
Soul - my heart beat and resonates cos this is what I tot this morning. Once I let go of d sign of laughter n jus relax, I went into a deep mode, somewhere I have never even touch, somewhere silent.
I had been wondering, frustating, thinking perhaps its not worth it cos until now nothing to show except laughter n even that also gone for this few days.
Alas, I am home.
5. Resolution - the understanding
No-thingness.
Nothing is not jus nothing, it is all. It is vibrant wit all possibilities. It is potential, absolute potential. It is unmanifest, but it contains all.
Being "in the gap" can be dsorienting and even scary. Nothing to hold on to, no sense of direction, not even a hint of what choices and possibilities might lie ahead. But it was jus this state of pure potential that existed before the universe was created.
And u can do now is to relax into this no-thingness ... Fall into this silence between the words ... watch this gap between outgoing and incoming breathe. And treasure each moment of the experience.
Something sacred is about to be born
Soul - similar to the Bhagavad Gita msg of period of vacuum before joy.
Thank u.
I m now more focused on my 3 days work week, I will not be thinking of a new career but I will take time to learn things that of interest n I will profile myself. I trust the Universe will guide me to whatever I need. I jus wan to focus on what makes me happy, which is learning and understanding and sharing of mystical tools of discovery.
Bhagavad Gita
Devotee wants to carry on wit both good and bad habits, apparently both satisfy him. How quickly he forgot that his sweet-mouthed bad habits, though they belong to his own family of consciousness, stealthily carry wit them the weapons that slay his peace.
Why can't I enjoy material and spiritual pleasure together?
Those whoe equally enjoy sensory indulgences and meditational pleasure will not get anywhere for a long time. A double minded man is unstable in all his way.
Good habit - meditating upon awakening from sleep.
The sensory functions hav their rightful place in man's life only after he has subordinated them by realising himself as the soul, one with Spirit, not a body subject to sense domination.
Future is a replica of the Past
Jan 26
Father, this mornin, very little laughter but I sense going in deep.
A fellow meditator called me yday, giving me encouragement. She said she wld love to volunteer n see me. She can't wait for me to share my experience of Samyama.
Mmm, m not sure if I be explosive like what she claimed but I know I will welcome d meditation mode.
The power of Now
You have had a glimpse of how the timeliness can transform ur perceptions. But an experience is not enough, no matter how beautiful or profound.
What is needed and what we r concerned wit is a permanent shift in consciousness.
Soul - same objective as Samyama. Actually, d fellow meditator has attended 2 times and d gal I Chennai also attend. I don't really see a shift. Perhaps they did as I don't know them. One thing I know is that don't hav expectation. My aim is just to enjoy d meditation.
The power of Now
Whenever u r able to observe ur mind, u r no longer trapped in it. Another factor has come in, something that is not of the mind; withnessing presence.
Identification with the mind, gives it more energy; observation of the mind withdraws energy from it.
Identification with the mind creates more time; observation of the mind opens up the dimension of the timeless.
The energy that is withdrawn from the mind turns into presence.
Soul - these days, I can sense d energy of the places I visit. I used to sense only good but now I can sense dull energy (like d market n hospital). I wonder is it becos m now present or my sensation is now returning. I wonder if others feel it too.
The Power of Now
Difference between clock time and psychological time
If u set yourself a goal and work toward it, u r using clock time. You are aware of where u wan to go, but u honor n give ur fullest attention to the step that u r taking at this moment.
If u then become excessively focused on the goal, perhaps because you r seeking happiness, fulfillment or a more complete sense of self in it, the Now is no longer honoured.
It becomes reduced to a mere stepping stone to the future. Clock time turned into psychological time. Your life journey is no longer and adventure, just an obsessive need to arrive, to attain, to "make it".
Soul - m normally going future.
The power of Now
Usually the future is a replica of the past. Superficial changes are possible, but real transformation is rare and depends upon whether u can become present enough to dissolve the past by assessing the power of the Now.
What you perceives as future is an intrinsic part of ur state of consciousness.
If ur mind carries a heavy burden of past, u will experience more of the same.
The past perpetuates itself through a lack presence.
The quality of ur consciousness at this moment is what shapes the future - which, of cos, can only b experienced as the Now.
Your presence determines the quality of ur consciousnes.
Soul - for years, I have been uncovering/discovering my unconsciousness. Opening all doors despite my fear n relucrance.
My plan was to unveil all unconsciousness that so I can be conscious.
But what is missing was after unravelling, they r still there. What I did was try to overcome it but its neverending. It has become a personal challenge. A war I seldom won.
But is now being said is that just for me to be Present n it can touch me.
I don't have to unravel, I now jus need to be Present. When I m present, I can't even be caught by my unconsciousness.
Evening
Today unexpectedly hav good lunch, despite not eating dim sum. M rejunevated. For d past few days, I was sad cos no good food but I still preservere. God is loving n give me some good food.
Jus now a colleague was asking for 'help' on d marriage. I told her that she can look at the Love cards for connection so she can hav d right approach. I m glad able to help. She said I hav given her insight on her husband. Thanks to her, m sure on my path.
I m seriously going into 7thunder card. Wanted to buy Destiny card n C is giving me as a gift.
I m not sure what will I be. But I wan to heal myself. I aim to be expert on
1. Love cards and Destiny cards
2. Osho tarot
3. Isha yoga (done to samyama)
4. Medical intuitive - Louis Hay, Laura Kandall
5. Coaching/counselling.
Feeling bit heavy on d head cos stop my meditation forcefully.
Bhagavad Gita
This is d challenge for the strong-minded, self-controlled devotee. Half-heartedness will not suffice.
Lackadaisical measure to substitute good habits for bad habits is a veritable fortress that will continue to protect the evil forces behind parapets of false reasoning and procastination.
Soul _ I will take this to means not being in the present. I now think it is habit and I am going to undone it.
It is quite easy, I am mostly aware of my tots..
Father, this mornin, very little laughter but I sense going in deep.
A fellow meditator called me yday, giving me encouragement. She said she wld love to volunteer n see me. She can't wait for me to share my experience of Samyama.
Mmm, m not sure if I be explosive like what she claimed but I know I will welcome d meditation mode.
The power of Now
You have had a glimpse of how the timeliness can transform ur perceptions. But an experience is not enough, no matter how beautiful or profound.
What is needed and what we r concerned wit is a permanent shift in consciousness.
Soul - same objective as Samyama. Actually, d fellow meditator has attended 2 times and d gal I Chennai also attend. I don't really see a shift. Perhaps they did as I don't know them. One thing I know is that don't hav expectation. My aim is just to enjoy d meditation.
The power of Now
Whenever u r able to observe ur mind, u r no longer trapped in it. Another factor has come in, something that is not of the mind; withnessing presence.
Identification with the mind, gives it more energy; observation of the mind withdraws energy from it.
Identification with the mind creates more time; observation of the mind opens up the dimension of the timeless.
The energy that is withdrawn from the mind turns into presence.
Soul - these days, I can sense d energy of the places I visit. I used to sense only good but now I can sense dull energy (like d market n hospital). I wonder is it becos m now present or my sensation is now returning. I wonder if others feel it too.
The Power of Now
Difference between clock time and psychological time
If u set yourself a goal and work toward it, u r using clock time. You are aware of where u wan to go, but u honor n give ur fullest attention to the step that u r taking at this moment.
If u then become excessively focused on the goal, perhaps because you r seeking happiness, fulfillment or a more complete sense of self in it, the Now is no longer honoured.
It becomes reduced to a mere stepping stone to the future. Clock time turned into psychological time. Your life journey is no longer and adventure, just an obsessive need to arrive, to attain, to "make it".
Soul - m normally going future.
The power of Now
Usually the future is a replica of the past. Superficial changes are possible, but real transformation is rare and depends upon whether u can become present enough to dissolve the past by assessing the power of the Now.
What you perceives as future is an intrinsic part of ur state of consciousness.
If ur mind carries a heavy burden of past, u will experience more of the same.
The past perpetuates itself through a lack presence.
The quality of ur consciousness at this moment is what shapes the future - which, of cos, can only b experienced as the Now.
Your presence determines the quality of ur consciousnes.
Soul - for years, I have been uncovering/discovering my unconsciousness. Opening all doors despite my fear n relucrance.
My plan was to unveil all unconsciousness that so I can be conscious.
But what is missing was after unravelling, they r still there. What I did was try to overcome it but its neverending. It has become a personal challenge. A war I seldom won.
But is now being said is that just for me to be Present n it can touch me.
I don't have to unravel, I now jus need to be Present. When I m present, I can't even be caught by my unconsciousness.
Evening
Today unexpectedly hav good lunch, despite not eating dim sum. M rejunevated. For d past few days, I was sad cos no good food but I still preservere. God is loving n give me some good food.
Jus now a colleague was asking for 'help' on d marriage. I told her that she can look at the Love cards for connection so she can hav d right approach. I m glad able to help. She said I hav given her insight on her husband. Thanks to her, m sure on my path.
I m seriously going into 7thunder card. Wanted to buy Destiny card n C is giving me as a gift.
I m not sure what will I be. But I wan to heal myself. I aim to be expert on
1. Love cards and Destiny cards
2. Osho tarot
3. Isha yoga (done to samyama)
4. Medical intuitive - Louis Hay, Laura Kandall
5. Coaching/counselling.
Feeling bit heavy on d head cos stop my meditation forcefully.
Bhagavad Gita
This is d challenge for the strong-minded, self-controlled devotee. Half-heartedness will not suffice.
Lackadaisical measure to substitute good habits for bad habits is a veritable fortress that will continue to protect the evil forces behind parapets of false reasoning and procastination.
Soul _ I will take this to means not being in the present. I now think it is habit and I am going to undone it.
It is quite easy, I am mostly aware of my tots..
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