Jul 3
Long range
Ten of Clubs (success in the communication field or teaching, a lot on the mind)
This card bring measurable success and recognition in one of the mind related fields and endeavours. This could be publishing, teaching or other areas where large groups are benefited from ur talent and brilliance.
Recognition for ur talents and efforts are forthcoming this year and will somehow touch upon all areas of ur life and take in a light of prominence in ur affairs.
However if u don't have a productive and constructive outlet for ur mind this year, the Ten of Clubs could indicate problems with stress and difficulty sleeping at night.
Find a good outlet for the mental powers present. It could bring u a measure of success and recognition.
Keywords.
A year of mental accomplishment and having a lot of ideas. I share my knowledge with a large number of people.
Soul
Well, already started..not sure if due to Three of Hearts in Mercury. These days takes me ten to fifteen minutes to sleep unlike normal five minutes.
Pluto
Four of Spades (hard work brings stability and protection)
One important aspects of ur aspirations this year will be to create strength and stability in either ur work, health or living situation.
U have made a decision to work hard and overcome a host of difficulties through developing inner strength and fortitude.
To accomplish this goal, u must make many changes. Perhaps u have decided to take full responsibility for ur health and will begin a comprehensive program of diet and fitness.
Or just as likely u may want to develop more efficient and organised work habits.
On a deep level, u r wanting peace of mind, stability and security in ur life. This may not be easy but u can do it. Perhaps things have not been going as well as u would like at work.
Wherever ur goal, it requires inner strength and determination and the willingness to try new approaches.
Affirmation
I create stability and security in my life, a foundation of good health and satisfaction at work. I enjoy the value of hard and consistent work.
Results
Seven of Spades (health and work problems, learning to practice faith)
As this part of year challenge, represented by ur Pluto, u will be working with negative patterns in urself that may have been affecting ur health or ur ability to work with others effectively.
The Seven of Spades will show u where there are areas to be upgraded and it is certain that u will see them and do something about it. Achieving this new level of health or spirituality may not be easy but u will surely do it before ur next birthday.
Affirmation
I complete this year with more positive health and work habits or create more spirituality in my work.
Soul
My health...freedom from RA
Avigna yantra
Environment
Queen of Clubs (service in the communications fields, good intuition and organisational ability)
Bring many blessings especially to the lines of intuition, organised ability and work in any of the communication field.
This is a card of success through service and of sharing knowledge and information with others.
Displacement
Eight of Spades (success in work or health, use of force and will power)
This is a year in which u will work hard and attain many results if you have a direction for ur efforts.
U can also expect to overcome any problems related to work or health.
This is a good year to launch an exercise program or a new business. U have the power to make some real progress in ur life. Take this opportunity to use this power. Put it to work and u may surprise yourself with what u can do.
Power and its use in ur life may become an issue this year that u need to address as well. Just how u use this power could be the deciding factor.
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
2015/2016 Destiny cards - Ten of Spades
Jul 3
Long range
Ten of Spades
(success in work, health and legal affairs)
Best card for success and satisfaction in ur work and health, though u can bet u will have to work hard for it. With this powerful card present, it is advised that u make a list of all that u want to accomplish this year and get working. U will be successful. At times u will feel that all u do is work, work and work but for most the rewards will be more than worth the effort.
Success related to groups is highlighted.
Keywords
A year of hard work and major accomplishment. Success with groups is assured. Make a wish list and be willing to work.
1. Health
2. Avinash yantra in office
3. Prosperity - salary increment
Pluto
Ace of Diamonds (desire for money and the beginnings of new way to make money)
This will be a year when u make some major change in the way u relate to money and finances. U may just have just had a change in ur values or ur philosophy about money that leaves u clear that u definitely want to obtain more prosperity and abundance.
A strong impetus is present that will most likely motivate u into action to create more prosperity in ur life. It is likely that u will make entirely new plans for creating more wealth, perhaps launching a new business or financial enterprise.
To achieve ur new financial goals, u will have to make many changes in the way u do things. This will not always be easy. This year could very well be the dawning of material success as one of ur new enterprises could prove to be quite lucrative in a long term sense. Look at the Result card for more specific about this new desire for prosperity and how u mean to achieve it.
Affirmation
My strong desire for financial prosperity transform me and my actions. I create new beginnings for me, my work and life.
Soul
This year additional expenses with keeping two houses definitely propels me to want to earn more money so that I can keep my financial security status quo per last year.
But I truly don't want to enlarge on corporate role.
Wonder how can I make more money while keeping my current lifestyle of 3 working days and constant 4 hours daily Sadhana. Thats my priority.
Results
Ten of Diamonds ( dealing and focusing on a very large sum of money)
The results of this year major goals and challenges represented by ur Pluto card will somehow involve a large sum of money or financial success.
U may actually achieve considerable prosperity as u expand ur values to include the needs of those around u and ur community or country. The further u expand ur vision, the more u could make. This could represent taking ur products and services to the public in a major way.
Affirmation
I create financial abundance or end up with a large sum of money this year. I expand my values.
Soul
Not sure how...but I do want more money and I deserve more money.
Environment (creativity, worry, expression of ideas orally or through writing)
Three of Clubs
Rewards and blessings this year will be available to u from creative expression, writing and talking. This is the year to get ur ideas across to others with the confidence that it will be well received.
This would also be a great year to write that book u have been thinking about. Any form of creative expression will benefit from this influence. Diversifying ur work efforts such as working at more than one job or project at a time will benefit u.
Soul
Not sure if it could be my blog..but I don't think so.
Displacement (organisation and clarity of mind brings peace of mind)
Four of Clubs
This is a good year in many ways and one in which ur mind is more relaxed and balanced than usual. In addition this will be a year in which u get one or more important wishes fulfilled.
Much success will come from focusing ur objective and being willing to work for what u want. U have considerable power available to u this year especially mental power. And u are likely to wield this power to meet ur goals with success.
However watch out for a tendency to be short sighted mentally and to over emphasis ur own point of view to the exclusion of others. Though u have a formula that works well for u, it may not be a formula that works for everyone. In addition stubbornness on ur part will only alienate others from u, which is probably not ur true intentions.
Long range
Ten of Spades
(success in work, health and legal affairs)
Best card for success and satisfaction in ur work and health, though u can bet u will have to work hard for it. With this powerful card present, it is advised that u make a list of all that u want to accomplish this year and get working. U will be successful. At times u will feel that all u do is work, work and work but for most the rewards will be more than worth the effort.
Success related to groups is highlighted.
Keywords
A year of hard work and major accomplishment. Success with groups is assured. Make a wish list and be willing to work.
1. Health
2. Avinash yantra in office
3. Prosperity - salary increment
Pluto
Ace of Diamonds (desire for money and the beginnings of new way to make money)
This will be a year when u make some major change in the way u relate to money and finances. U may just have just had a change in ur values or ur philosophy about money that leaves u clear that u definitely want to obtain more prosperity and abundance.
A strong impetus is present that will most likely motivate u into action to create more prosperity in ur life. It is likely that u will make entirely new plans for creating more wealth, perhaps launching a new business or financial enterprise.
To achieve ur new financial goals, u will have to make many changes in the way u do things. This will not always be easy. This year could very well be the dawning of material success as one of ur new enterprises could prove to be quite lucrative in a long term sense. Look at the Result card for more specific about this new desire for prosperity and how u mean to achieve it.
Affirmation
My strong desire for financial prosperity transform me and my actions. I create new beginnings for me, my work and life.
Soul
This year additional expenses with keeping two houses definitely propels me to want to earn more money so that I can keep my financial security status quo per last year.
But I truly don't want to enlarge on corporate role.
Wonder how can I make more money while keeping my current lifestyle of 3 working days and constant 4 hours daily Sadhana. Thats my priority.
Results
Ten of Diamonds ( dealing and focusing on a very large sum of money)
The results of this year major goals and challenges represented by ur Pluto card will somehow involve a large sum of money or financial success.
U may actually achieve considerable prosperity as u expand ur values to include the needs of those around u and ur community or country. The further u expand ur vision, the more u could make. This could represent taking ur products and services to the public in a major way.
Affirmation
I create financial abundance or end up with a large sum of money this year. I expand my values.
Soul
Not sure how...but I do want more money and I deserve more money.
Environment (creativity, worry, expression of ideas orally or through writing)
Three of Clubs
Rewards and blessings this year will be available to u from creative expression, writing and talking. This is the year to get ur ideas across to others with the confidence that it will be well received.
This would also be a great year to write that book u have been thinking about. Any form of creative expression will benefit from this influence. Diversifying ur work efforts such as working at more than one job or project at a time will benefit u.
Soul
Not sure if it could be my blog..but I don't think so.
Displacement (organisation and clarity of mind brings peace of mind)
Four of Clubs
This is a good year in many ways and one in which ur mind is more relaxed and balanced than usual. In addition this will be a year in which u get one or more important wishes fulfilled.
Much success will come from focusing ur objective and being willing to work for what u want. U have considerable power available to u this year especially mental power. And u are likely to wield this power to meet ur goals with success.
However watch out for a tendency to be short sighted mentally and to over emphasis ur own point of view to the exclusion of others. Though u have a formula that works well for u, it may not be a formula that works for everyone. In addition stubbornness on ur part will only alienate others from u, which is probably not ur true intentions.
Monday, July 27, 2015
Intense Shambavi with much screaming
Jul 3
Woke up with a cramp on left foot around 6 am. Slept back and woke up 7 am upon alarm. Left knee is much better.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by cat stretch. My shoulder are tight..Ease bit.
Just focusing on my breathe...went into meditation.
Did yogaasaasanas, okay better than yesterday....especially the lying down posture (boat..i think) with both feet and hands stretched out. This posture used to be one that I disliked cos it is difficult. But now it the one that I look forward to as it really releases the pressure from my neck.
Forgot to do preparatory steps before the sitting breathe asana.
These days find that yogaasanas at home with my shrine better than in the yoga studio.
Did a short breathing followed by abridged Shambavi.
Towards the end, invocation just came out of me.
All the different voices starts to sing.
A few songs....and then later a scream from beyond..not a loud one..but a deep one.
After that I felt empty...silence..
Singing again...
And then another scream....
Don't recall such intense Shambavi..
Guess finally clearing another pinacle.
Yesterday present from Dhynalinga. I put the snake ring with Dhynalinga yantra when I sleep. I let it energised by Dhynalinga. Now it's complete.
I have Rudrash from Sannidhi
I have Mercury pendant from Linga Bhairavi
And now Snake ring from Dhynalinga.
Finally completed. I started Isha in 2008 and now 2015. Took me nearly 7 years before I finally wore the snake ring.
Coincidentally.
Age 42 (2007/2008) to 48 (2015/2016)
This year age 48.
Long range - Jack of Spades -spiritual initiation...finally reach the journey.
Pluto challenge was Queen of Spades
Woke up with a cramp on left foot around 6 am. Slept back and woke up 7 am upon alarm. Left knee is much better.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by cat stretch. My shoulder are tight..Ease bit.
Just focusing on my breathe...went into meditation.
Did yogaasaasanas, okay better than yesterday....especially the lying down posture (boat..i think) with both feet and hands stretched out. This posture used to be one that I disliked cos it is difficult. But now it the one that I look forward to as it really releases the pressure from my neck.
Forgot to do preparatory steps before the sitting breathe asana.
These days find that yogaasanas at home with my shrine better than in the yoga studio.
Did a short breathing followed by abridged Shambavi.
Towards the end, invocation just came out of me.
All the different voices starts to sing.
A few songs....and then later a scream from beyond..not a loud one..but a deep one.
After that I felt empty...silence..
Singing again...
And then another scream....
Don't recall such intense Shambavi..
Guess finally clearing another pinacle.
Yesterday present from Dhynalinga. I put the snake ring with Dhynalinga yantra when I sleep. I let it energised by Dhynalinga. Now it's complete.
I have Rudrash from Sannidhi
I have Mercury pendant from Linga Bhairavi
And now Snake ring from Dhynalinga.
Finally completed. I started Isha in 2008 and now 2015. Took me nearly 7 years before I finally wore the snake ring.
Coincidentally.
Age 42 (2007/2008) to 48 (2015/2016)
This year age 48.
Long range - Jack of Spades -spiritual initiation...finally reach the journey.
Pluto challenge was Queen of Spades
Destiny card quite true
Jul 3 aft
Went to Inland Revenue and the Destiny cards is true. I got money with Authority.
I have been delaying to see them but got a penalty letter from Inland Revenue on previous year assessment.
Thanks to them sending me the penalty, I found out that I actually wrongly computed my 2011 income tax by extra 10k and infact paid instalment on it.
Good news that I can now appeal on the penalty as I have never been late before. Also the late submission was due to the earlier wrong submission that was rejected.
So I truly have money in Authorities..as per my Destiny card.
Destiny
Four of Diamonds in Neptune (just ended on July 2)
This is a good card for money and indicated money made through travel or foreign interest, in the care of others or in some secret way.
U are somewhat protected in all ur business dealings under this influence. This is a card of satisfaction in financial affairs and one which u can take time to enjoy the fruits of ur labor as well.
Soul
Pushed by the penalty in 2011 which actually a blessing in disguise. Not only it stir me to go to Inland Revenue. It also led me to realise that 2011 tax computation was wrongly inflated by myself.
My Daily Card
The King of Spades
The King of Spades is the final, and most powerful card in the deck, representing both mastery of one's environment and one's self. Whenever this card appears you can bet that you will experience good fortune and results.
It is especially good for legal matters and business but can be applied to any area of life for success. It is truly the card of 'success in all things' but brings the most blessings to those who are ready and willing to take responsibility for their life and work and who can take a leadership position in their work. Remember this is a King we are talking about and every King has a kingdom.
Be prepared to take a leadership role and to live by your own wisdom when this potent card appears. Success is yours for the taking, but you have to stand up and claim it.
Soul
Yes..just went to Inland Revenue today.
took charge.
Went to Inland Revenue and the Destiny cards is true. I got money with Authority.
I have been delaying to see them but got a penalty letter from Inland Revenue on previous year assessment.
Thanks to them sending me the penalty, I found out that I actually wrongly computed my 2011 income tax by extra 10k and infact paid instalment on it.
Good news that I can now appeal on the penalty as I have never been late before. Also the late submission was due to the earlier wrong submission that was rejected.
So I truly have money in Authorities..as per my Destiny card.
Destiny
Four of Diamonds in Neptune (just ended on July 2)
This is a good card for money and indicated money made through travel or foreign interest, in the care of others or in some secret way.
U are somewhat protected in all ur business dealings under this influence. This is a card of satisfaction in financial affairs and one which u can take time to enjoy the fruits of ur labor as well.
Soul
Pushed by the penalty in 2011 which actually a blessing in disguise. Not only it stir me to go to Inland Revenue. It also led me to realise that 2011 tax computation was wrongly inflated by myself.
My Daily Card
The King of Spades
The King of Spades is the final, and most powerful card in the deck, representing both mastery of one's environment and one's self. Whenever this card appears you can bet that you will experience good fortune and results.
It is especially good for legal matters and business but can be applied to any area of life for success. It is truly the card of 'success in all things' but brings the most blessings to those who are ready and willing to take responsibility for their life and work and who can take a leadership position in their work. Remember this is a King we are talking about and every King has a kingdom.
Be prepared to take a leadership role and to live by your own wisdom when this potent card appears. Success is yours for the taking, but you have to stand up and claim it.
Soul
Yes..just went to Inland Revenue today.
took charge.
Snake Ring (Dhynalinga's present to me)
Jul 2 eve
Today wore the snake ring. I need all the help I can get on getting myself healed of RA.
Sang guru Pooja. A few voices sang too. Then when Guru Pooja ended, I exploded into singing. I sang for a long time.
Then Shoonya was deep too.
Did Breathing meditation. Suddenly feel my snake ring. I cried out to Dhynalinga. I missed him. The snake ring is his protection for me. Tears fall.
Have wore the snake ring for a few hours already.
Finally after 8 years with Isha tools.
Today wore the snake ring. I need all the help I can get on getting myself healed of RA.
Sang guru Pooja. A few voices sang too. Then when Guru Pooja ended, I exploded into singing. I sang for a long time.
Then Shoonya was deep too.
Did Breathing meditation. Suddenly feel my snake ring. I cried out to Dhynalinga. I missed him. The snake ring is his protection for me. Tears fall.
Have wore the snake ring for a few hours already.
Finally after 8 years with Isha tools.
Rheumatoid Arthritis pain but Sadhana still on
Jul 2
Woke up at 4 am body fresh but shoulder itchy. Not much pain. Guess itchy better than pain.
Doze back till alarm at 4.30 am.
Squatting down to light my shrine was not easy, still much pain.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by cat stretch. It wasn't easy due to pain. Both shoulders also very tight.
Did Yogasasanas, better than yesterday. Less pain on right knee. I know it will be good by this week. Can't wait to do Shakti.
Shoulder stand was so nice on the stiff shoulders.
Skip the breathe cleansing as too difficult to stand up and sit down.
Breathing was nice. Sat for awhile.
Did Shambavi. It was good. After Suka Kriya went into invocation.
Towards the end chanting invocation and singing.
Shoulders has relaxed much.
Woke up at 4 am body fresh but shoulder itchy. Not much pain. Guess itchy better than pain.
Doze back till alarm at 4.30 am.
Squatting down to light my shrine was not easy, still much pain.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by cat stretch. It wasn't easy due to pain. Both shoulders also very tight.
Did Yogasasanas, better than yesterday. Less pain on right knee. I know it will be good by this week. Can't wait to do Shakti.
Shoulder stand was so nice on the stiff shoulders.
Skip the breathe cleansing as too difficult to stand up and sit down.
Breathing was nice. Sat for awhile.
Did Shambavi. It was good. After Suka Kriya went into invocation.
Towards the end chanting invocation and singing.
Shoulders has relaxed much.
Rheumatoid Arthritis pain continues..
July 1 eve
L is angry and hence acting up in not giving handover. That's the Ten and Six of Diamonds, once they are angry and decided to fight, they become like that. Let me see the hurt and come to a win win situation.
Even knowing this will happen, decision still the same cos she not working out with P too even if she stay. It will be nearly one year. Admittedly P may not be the assertive boss but he has teacher card. Alas L not willing or can't be taught further.
Father, give me the grace to handle this well.
Sannidhi Pooja was nice. Just being with Sadhguru
Devi. I was chanting a bit then I realised the flame went off. Then I go near to light it. Once lighted I just cry. I cried cos fearful that I cannot go beyond the RA pain. I did the chant and then followed by Devi posture. Laughter came.
Knee still bit painful. I know it be off. Tomorrow still do Yogasasanas.
L is angry and hence acting up in not giving handover. That's the Ten and Six of Diamonds, once they are angry and decided to fight, they become like that. Let me see the hurt and come to a win win situation.
Even knowing this will happen, decision still the same cos she not working out with P too even if she stay. It will be nearly one year. Admittedly P may not be the assertive boss but he has teacher card. Alas L not willing or can't be taught further.
Father, give me the grace to handle this well.
Sannidhi Pooja was nice. Just being with Sadhguru
Devi. I was chanting a bit then I realised the flame went off. Then I go near to light it. Once lighted I just cry. I cried cos fearful that I cannot go beyond the RA pain. I did the chant and then followed by Devi posture. Laughter came.
Knee still bit painful. I know it be off. Tomorrow still do Yogasasanas.
Sadhguru on copper snake ring - finally feel like wearing after 8 years with Isha
Jul 1 aft
https://www.facebook.com/wafic.halabi/posts/10152585479192187
Ring finger
Wearing a metal ring, especially made of copper, by a seeker on the ring finger stabilizes the body and provides the fundamental support for sadhana or spiritual practices. With the right kind of sadhana, wearing the snake ring can become a key to mystical dimensions of life. Our copper snake rings are made in the Isha Yoga Center under Sadhguru’s guidance and go through a process of consecration before they are offered to seekers. The rings are meant to be worn at all times.
Soul
Wonder if I should finally start to wear my ring finger.
This week Osho tarot cards.
2. Internal influences that you are unaware
Fool
At this moment the Fool has the support of the universe to make this jump into the unknown. Adventures await him in the river of life. The card indicates that if you trust your intuition right now, your feeling of the 'rightness' of things, you cannot go wrong. Your actions may appear 'foolish' to others, or even to yourself, if you try to analyze them with the rational mind. But the 'zero' place occupied by the Fool is the numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.
Soul
I am thinking this recent flare of RA could be a blessing in disguise
All the pain is making me search for alternatives.
While I believed and know food plays a part...but I feel the defence mechanism also plays a role.
And definitely Isha Yoga helps loads
Father, this is a year I will find a cure for myself and for others.
I want to use all of Isha tools.
I have been avoiding the snake ring mostly because I don't wear ring cos I think I got fat fingers and now with the mishapen hands I didn't want to draw attention to it. I also tot it was just Indian's culture and I didn't want to follow.
But today I feel like wearing it since RA pain is bad.
Maybe today Purnima is a good time to start.
I know the Rudrash and mercury pendant is so helpful. So this will too.
3. External influence
Traveling
When this card appears in a reading, it indicates a time of movement and change. It may be a physical movement from one place to the next, or an inner movement from one way of being to another. But whatever the case, this card promises that the going will be easy and will bring a sense of adventure and growth; there is no need to struggle or plan too much. The Traveling card also reminds us to accept and embrace the new, just as when we travel to another country with a different culture and environment than the one we are accustomed to. This attitude of openness and acceptance invites new friends and experiences into our lives.
Soul
I know the RA pain is taking me somewhere. I just don't know where.
4. Whats needed for resolution?
The Source
When we speak of being "grounded" or "centered" it is this Source we are talking about. When we begin a creative project, it is this Source that we tune in to. This card reminds us that there is a vast reservoir of energy available to us. And that we tap into it not by thinking and planning but by getting grounded, centered, and silent enough to be in contact with the Source. It is within each of us, like a personal, individual sun giving us life and nourishment. Pure energy, pulsating, available, it is ready to give us anything we need to accomplish something, and ready to welcome us back home when we want to rest. So whether you are beginning something new and need inspiration right now, or you've just finished something and want to rest, go to the Source. It's always waiting for you, and you don't even have to step out of your house to find it.
Soul
Yes..the Source
Thats what I am holding on to.
I really believed that the pain of RA is not meant for me to suffer; its meant for me to go beyond.
To help me and to help others too.
I want to go beyond RA...and lead a quality life of enjoying the material sense.
5. Resolution
Success
Watch the waves in the ocean. The higher the wave goes, the deeper is the wake that follows it. One moment you are the wave, another moment you are the hollow wake that follows. Enjoy both--don't get addicted to one. Don't say: I would always like to be on the peak. It is not possible. Simply see the fact: it is not possible. It has never happened and it will never happen. It is simply impossible--not in the nature of things. Then what to do? Enjoy the peak while it lasts and then enjoy the valley when it comes. What is wrong with the valley? What is wrong with being low? It is a relaxation. A peak is an excitement, and nobody can exist continuously in an excitement.
The greatest wisdom to keep in mind with all the phenomena in the parade of your life, whether they be valleys or peaks, is that "this too will pass." Celebrate, yes, and keep on riding the tiger.
Soul
Yes.I am now in down..in the hollow.
I will go up again.
For now let me just experience the hollow..there is reason for it.
I know this will end by this week.
https://www.facebook.com/wafic.halabi/posts/10152585479192187
Ring finger
Wearing a metal ring, especially made of copper, by a seeker on the ring finger stabilizes the body and provides the fundamental support for sadhana or spiritual practices. With the right kind of sadhana, wearing the snake ring can become a key to mystical dimensions of life. Our copper snake rings are made in the Isha Yoga Center under Sadhguru’s guidance and go through a process of consecration before they are offered to seekers. The rings are meant to be worn at all times.
Soul
Wonder if I should finally start to wear my ring finger.
This week Osho tarot cards.
2. Internal influences that you are unaware
Fool
At this moment the Fool has the support of the universe to make this jump into the unknown. Adventures await him in the river of life. The card indicates that if you trust your intuition right now, your feeling of the 'rightness' of things, you cannot go wrong. Your actions may appear 'foolish' to others, or even to yourself, if you try to analyze them with the rational mind. But the 'zero' place occupied by the Fool is the numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.
Soul
I am thinking this recent flare of RA could be a blessing in disguise
All the pain is making me search for alternatives.
While I believed and know food plays a part...but I feel the defence mechanism also plays a role.
And definitely Isha Yoga helps loads
Father, this is a year I will find a cure for myself and for others.
I want to use all of Isha tools.
I have been avoiding the snake ring mostly because I don't wear ring cos I think I got fat fingers and now with the mishapen hands I didn't want to draw attention to it. I also tot it was just Indian's culture and I didn't want to follow.
But today I feel like wearing it since RA pain is bad.
Maybe today Purnima is a good time to start.
I know the Rudrash and mercury pendant is so helpful. So this will too.
3. External influence
Traveling
When this card appears in a reading, it indicates a time of movement and change. It may be a physical movement from one place to the next, or an inner movement from one way of being to another. But whatever the case, this card promises that the going will be easy and will bring a sense of adventure and growth; there is no need to struggle or plan too much. The Traveling card also reminds us to accept and embrace the new, just as when we travel to another country with a different culture and environment than the one we are accustomed to. This attitude of openness and acceptance invites new friends and experiences into our lives.
Soul
I know the RA pain is taking me somewhere. I just don't know where.
4. Whats needed for resolution?
The Source
When we speak of being "grounded" or "centered" it is this Source we are talking about. When we begin a creative project, it is this Source that we tune in to. This card reminds us that there is a vast reservoir of energy available to us. And that we tap into it not by thinking and planning but by getting grounded, centered, and silent enough to be in contact with the Source. It is within each of us, like a personal, individual sun giving us life and nourishment. Pure energy, pulsating, available, it is ready to give us anything we need to accomplish something, and ready to welcome us back home when we want to rest. So whether you are beginning something new and need inspiration right now, or you've just finished something and want to rest, go to the Source. It's always waiting for you, and you don't even have to step out of your house to find it.
Soul
Yes..the Source
Thats what I am holding on to.
I really believed that the pain of RA is not meant for me to suffer; its meant for me to go beyond.
To help me and to help others too.
I want to go beyond RA...and lead a quality life of enjoying the material sense.
5. Resolution
Success
Watch the waves in the ocean. The higher the wave goes, the deeper is the wake that follows it. One moment you are the wave, another moment you are the hollow wake that follows. Enjoy both--don't get addicted to one. Don't say: I would always like to be on the peak. It is not possible. Simply see the fact: it is not possible. It has never happened and it will never happen. It is simply impossible--not in the nature of things. Then what to do? Enjoy the peak while it lasts and then enjoy the valley when it comes. What is wrong with the valley? What is wrong with being low? It is a relaxation. A peak is an excitement, and nobody can exist continuously in an excitement.
The greatest wisdom to keep in mind with all the phenomena in the parade of your life, whether they be valleys or peaks, is that "this too will pass." Celebrate, yes, and keep on riding the tiger.
Soul
Yes.I am now in down..in the hollow.
I will go up again.
For now let me just experience the hollow..there is reason for it.
I know this will end by this week.
Rheumatoid Arthritis pain coming in stronger than ever but Sadhana is still on
Jul 1
Woke up a few times. My right knee is in pain and right elbow too. Finally woke up at 7 am.
Body was in pain. Buttock in pain too cos been hitting it since I can't use my knee to support me when sitting down on floor. Guess steroids gone. But I believed yoga will help me.
It was painful to squat down to lit the shrine. But I did it.
Did Bhuta Shudhi. Thankfully I m able to sit cross leg. So I think no need doctor.
Did cat stretch. It was bit painful and can feel the stiffness in my upper shoulders. Focused on my breathe and it was okay despite the stiffness and pain.
Did a slow yogasasanas. It was bit painful on the standing posture but I made it. Can even do the standing tree posture.
The rest was good. Was singing even. Couldn't do the breathe clearing.
In the end I feel the side effects of steroids being released from my body.
My body likes yogasasanas, diminishing the pain.
Did a short breathing.
Skip Shakti cos I can't sit with folded knees.
Shambavi was good despite drilling noise. I was singing at the end. My right knee feels better. Just focus on yogasasanas these few days.
Just read about paddison program for Rheumatoid Athristis. Can see that it removes meat, sugar and gluten from its diet.
Today also confirmed that tumeric is the best herb to reduce inflammation...and now Vitamin D too. Will take it.
So the guy got himself cured of RA and now pain free and inflammation free.
Father, well thats a direction I can go.
While I think food do play a role but I am unwilling to release total food.
To me that is also part of quality of life.
Me facing pain is not bad..made me realised the importance of my health.
Woke up a few times. My right knee is in pain and right elbow too. Finally woke up at 7 am.
Body was in pain. Buttock in pain too cos been hitting it since I can't use my knee to support me when sitting down on floor. Guess steroids gone. But I believed yoga will help me.
It was painful to squat down to lit the shrine. But I did it.
Did Bhuta Shudhi. Thankfully I m able to sit cross leg. So I think no need doctor.
Did cat stretch. It was bit painful and can feel the stiffness in my upper shoulders. Focused on my breathe and it was okay despite the stiffness and pain.
Did a slow yogasasanas. It was bit painful on the standing posture but I made it. Can even do the standing tree posture.
The rest was good. Was singing even. Couldn't do the breathe clearing.
In the end I feel the side effects of steroids being released from my body.
My body likes yogasasanas, diminishing the pain.
Did a short breathing.
Skip Shakti cos I can't sit with folded knees.
Shambavi was good despite drilling noise. I was singing at the end. My right knee feels better. Just focus on yogasasanas these few days.
Just read about paddison program for Rheumatoid Athristis. Can see that it removes meat, sugar and gluten from its diet.
Today also confirmed that tumeric is the best herb to reduce inflammation...and now Vitamin D too. Will take it.
So the guy got himself cured of RA and now pain free and inflammation free.
Father, well thats a direction I can go.
While I think food do play a role but I am unwilling to release total food.
To me that is also part of quality of life.
Me facing pain is not bad..made me realised the importance of my health.
Jupiter in Leo in 2nd house (found Sadhguru)
June 30 aft
Jupiter in the Second House
Your Sense of Expansion and Growth Focuses on Your Values
There is a third option suggested by Jupiter in the Second House. This is for you to transform your focus from material to other, less tangible, values. You may find, by refocusing your values, that you are wealthy in ways other than materially.
Transcendent Potential
You can realize the transcendent potential of Jupiter in the Second House when you become uninterested or fed up with continually trying to expand your material wealth.
This may leek you to try to understand the value set that undergirds society and life itself. As your understanding deepens, you come to know what is really valuable in life. This brings you great happiness--far greater than can be experienced through the accumulation of material objects. Determinedly and joyously, you expand your understanding of the purpose of life and the value of your existence.
If you are extremely fortunate, you find some Guide who can teach you how to reach to the highest planes of existence. Here, within yourself, you accumulate wealth undreamed of by others.
Soul
I m extremely fortunate to have found Sadhguru.
Insecurity
If you are inwardly insecure, then, as fortunate as you may be, you never have enough and you are never satisfied with what you have. You want more and more, thinking that this will lead to enjoyment of life. Actually, you have no capacity to enjoy, for the objects that you run after are not truly enjoyable. They may give you pleasure, but this is an unsatisfying pleasure. Yet, you are afraid to look deeper, to discard your pursuit of material wealth and enjoyment, for this is all you know of pleasure and it gives you a sense of security and comfort with which you are not willing to part. You, therefore, continue to chase after and accumulate the same tired and unfulfilling objects and experiences.
Soul
My North node in Taurus - I have.
Just now checked my bank accounts and I truly have. When I compute the money in my fixed deposits I forgot about the interest income.
Mmmm. Suddenly remembered that this month payroll was supposed to be in new bank account.
Your Focus of Growth and Expansion
You tend to focus your desire to expand your world on enlarging your wealth and possessions. You will likely place your energy into the growth and expansion of the material sphere of life. This is what society generally conditions people to do. However, you may see your opportunities for growth almost exclusively in the physical/material dimension, even more so than most.
You may, however, feel a need for growth to occur in and through your values. If this is true, your focus is likely to swing away from, or at least not be directly occupied with, the material. Either you see your security and comfort being achieved through the practice of wholesome values or you begin to examine your values in order to achieve personal growth and development through the exploration and expansion of your value system.
Soul
Yes, these days after so much RA pains, looking at alternative medication and hence alternative values.
I only know the values of my Sadhana..thats key for me..thats my pillar.
I know monetary benefits from corporate work no longer my values.
Focus of Your Well-Being
Your social conditioning is likely to promote finding your well-being through material security and comfort. To the extent that you feel wealthy or materially comfortable, you feel an abundance of well-being. If you face poverty or material hardship, your sense of well-being is likely to be threatened or difficult to maintain. Society ingrains this attitude and value set so effectively, that it may be difficult to see this as a Jupiter-in-Second-House trait, unless it is by a matter of degree.
If you can separate yourself from society's conditioning, may find a sense of well-being through adherence to certain values that you hold to be good and true. If you adopt this approach, well-being itself may become a possession, a resource that you "own." This may be the case particularly if you externalize your sense of optimism and good-will so that you see the basic goodness of the world in which you live all around you.
Your personality may also express undertones of Jupiter-in-Taurus.
-- Gargatholil
Soul
Nearing my North node in Taurus. In my new condo, I focused on my sadhana/shrine room as it is the most precious to me; where I spent the most time.
Jupiter in the Second House
Your Sense of Expansion and Growth Focuses on Your Values
There is a third option suggested by Jupiter in the Second House. This is for you to transform your focus from material to other, less tangible, values. You may find, by refocusing your values, that you are wealthy in ways other than materially.
Transcendent Potential
You can realize the transcendent potential of Jupiter in the Second House when you become uninterested or fed up with continually trying to expand your material wealth.
This may leek you to try to understand the value set that undergirds society and life itself. As your understanding deepens, you come to know what is really valuable in life. This brings you great happiness--far greater than can be experienced through the accumulation of material objects. Determinedly and joyously, you expand your understanding of the purpose of life and the value of your existence.
If you are extremely fortunate, you find some Guide who can teach you how to reach to the highest planes of existence. Here, within yourself, you accumulate wealth undreamed of by others.
Soul
I m extremely fortunate to have found Sadhguru.
Insecurity
If you are inwardly insecure, then, as fortunate as you may be, you never have enough and you are never satisfied with what you have. You want more and more, thinking that this will lead to enjoyment of life. Actually, you have no capacity to enjoy, for the objects that you run after are not truly enjoyable. They may give you pleasure, but this is an unsatisfying pleasure. Yet, you are afraid to look deeper, to discard your pursuit of material wealth and enjoyment, for this is all you know of pleasure and it gives you a sense of security and comfort with which you are not willing to part. You, therefore, continue to chase after and accumulate the same tired and unfulfilling objects and experiences.
Soul
My North node in Taurus - I have.
Just now checked my bank accounts and I truly have. When I compute the money in my fixed deposits I forgot about the interest income.
Mmmm. Suddenly remembered that this month payroll was supposed to be in new bank account.
Your Focus of Growth and Expansion
You tend to focus your desire to expand your world on enlarging your wealth and possessions. You will likely place your energy into the growth and expansion of the material sphere of life. This is what society generally conditions people to do. However, you may see your opportunities for growth almost exclusively in the physical/material dimension, even more so than most.
You may, however, feel a need for growth to occur in and through your values. If this is true, your focus is likely to swing away from, or at least not be directly occupied with, the material. Either you see your security and comfort being achieved through the practice of wholesome values or you begin to examine your values in order to achieve personal growth and development through the exploration and expansion of your value system.
Soul
Yes, these days after so much RA pains, looking at alternative medication and hence alternative values.
I only know the values of my Sadhana..thats key for me..thats my pillar.
I know monetary benefits from corporate work no longer my values.
Focus of Your Well-Being
Your social conditioning is likely to promote finding your well-being through material security and comfort. To the extent that you feel wealthy or materially comfortable, you feel an abundance of well-being. If you face poverty or material hardship, your sense of well-being is likely to be threatened or difficult to maintain. Society ingrains this attitude and value set so effectively, that it may be difficult to see this as a Jupiter-in-Second-House trait, unless it is by a matter of degree.
If you can separate yourself from society's conditioning, may find a sense of well-being through adherence to certain values that you hold to be good and true. If you adopt this approach, well-being itself may become a possession, a resource that you "own." This may be the case particularly if you externalize your sense of optimism and good-will so that you see the basic goodness of the world in which you live all around you.
Your personality may also express undertones of Jupiter-in-Taurus.
-- Gargatholil
Soul
Nearing my North node in Taurus. In my new condo, I focused on my sadhana/shrine room as it is the most precious to me; where I spent the most time.
Rhematoid Arthritis - could it be the angry part of me
June 30
Woke up around 5 am. Slept back cos knee pain can't do Surya Kriya and Shakti Chalana Kriya. Woke up at 6.30 am instead. Just did Bhuta Shuddi followed by Shambavi. When I woke up at 6.30 am my pain has reduced much. Thanks to both steroids and Sannidhi energy. So great to be back.
From Facebook.
May you find the angry part of you, the part that feels violated and betrayed, the part that should have been nurtured, but instead was harmed, the part that is making others wrong, the part that is frustrated because you know the truth and nobody else is listening to you, the part that just can’t stand the discomfort of being with the truth when others don’t yet have it . Offer that part of you comfort, loving care, and compassion. Promise to take care of that part of you. Make a commitment to always listen to this angry part. Promise to never sell out that part of you. Never. Ever. Reassure the angry part. Mother the angry part. Soothe the angry part.
The angry part thinks it won’t get heard unless it screams, defends, and makes everyone else wrong. It doesn’t realize it’s actually sabotaging your efforts to effect change, because you can’t change something when you make it wrong. The angry part doesn’t trust that it will be heard if it shows up in love.
Soul
Wonder if that's my defence mechanism.
On my trip last weekend. I would said average. But then if I m truly honest then I said it's like a family weekend. The husband left only on Sunday evening. From Saturday onward makes all the plans and I had to join since my friend can't say no. She can't say no but said its because she doesn't want to fight. Again this time saying she wants to leave but something happen with her son and other family members. I told her that I disbelieve her cos she can't even ask him to take taxi to airport.
And I did said she spoiled her husband. Same goes for the son. Nice boy but lacked independence.
Watching Sadhguru video on successful sadhana. https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=share&v=SGsEW1mbwGA
Sadhguru said its not we are like that because of family; its because we are like that, that our family becomes like that.
I agree.
Then I wonder about mine. Well, all these years they were the one supporting me. I was sort of the baby. Now I plan to rent out the room, all seems to be against. Let's see.
Woke up around 5 am. Slept back cos knee pain can't do Surya Kriya and Shakti Chalana Kriya. Woke up at 6.30 am instead. Just did Bhuta Shuddi followed by Shambavi. When I woke up at 6.30 am my pain has reduced much. Thanks to both steroids and Sannidhi energy. So great to be back.
From Facebook.
May you find the angry part of you, the part that feels violated and betrayed, the part that should have been nurtured, but instead was harmed, the part that is making others wrong, the part that is frustrated because you know the truth and nobody else is listening to you, the part that just can’t stand the discomfort of being with the truth when others don’t yet have it . Offer that part of you comfort, loving care, and compassion. Promise to take care of that part of you. Make a commitment to always listen to this angry part. Promise to never sell out that part of you. Never. Ever. Reassure the angry part. Mother the angry part. Soothe the angry part.
The angry part thinks it won’t get heard unless it screams, defends, and makes everyone else wrong. It doesn’t realize it’s actually sabotaging your efforts to effect change, because you can’t change something when you make it wrong. The angry part doesn’t trust that it will be heard if it shows up in love.
Soul
Wonder if that's my defence mechanism.
On my trip last weekend. I would said average. But then if I m truly honest then I said it's like a family weekend. The husband left only on Sunday evening. From Saturday onward makes all the plans and I had to join since my friend can't say no. She can't say no but said its because she doesn't want to fight. Again this time saying she wants to leave but something happen with her son and other family members. I told her that I disbelieve her cos she can't even ask him to take taxi to airport.
And I did said she spoiled her husband. Same goes for the son. Nice boy but lacked independence.
Watching Sadhguru video on successful sadhana. https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=share&v=SGsEW1mbwGA
Sadhguru said its not we are like that because of family; its because we are like that, that our family becomes like that.
I agree.
Then I wonder about mine. Well, all these years they were the one supporting me. I was sort of the baby. Now I plan to rent out the room, all seems to be against. Let's see.
Rheumatoid Arthritis pain acting up strongly
Jun 29 eve
My right knee is still swollen. Last week I injured it and before it got well I injured further in the pool.
Because my hand was in slight pain I over exerted my legs when trying to do Breast stroke style. 4 feet pool and the panic attack still there. Truly back to beginning. But this time no sadness. Just accept that this is what I can do now.
Mom see me in pain and immediately said its due to yoga. I told her ifs because I stopped my medication. Then she start to give me remedy learned from friends. When I walk in pain she kept asking me if I can take medication or injection to cure the pain. I told her can't I be in pain without having to explain myself.
Now sitting I realised that she is acting up cos she can't handle to see pain just like she can't see tears. Her auto reaction is asking me to stop crying or stop feeling painful.
Father, slowly seeing anger from others on me does not relate to me. It related to their own perception of how they see me or themselves. Just like that day G was angry that I commented the shrine of L is messy and energy average. At first I tot she was scolding me for making feedback then I realised she is angry cos she didn't bring me to the nice place that I wanted to go. Instead of feeling guilty, she try to make me feel bad for seeing the place as not as good as the other.
Perhaps slowly Seven of Clubs is over.
Sadhguru
The fundamental goal of the spiritual path is, when a person experientially realises that everything is so transient, he becomes loose within himself. He is not stuck to anything. When he is not stuck to anything, if he wishes he can withdraw from everything; and if he wishes he can enjoy everything, but there is no suffering. If he wishes he can suffer also. Sometimes, even that is good; that suffering is not a suffering anymore. U can allow urself to melt and fuse with somebody. U can cry with somebody if u want to, but it is no longer suffering. After the crying is over, u are a new being.
My right knee is still swollen. Last week I injured it and before it got well I injured further in the pool.
Because my hand was in slight pain I over exerted my legs when trying to do Breast stroke style. 4 feet pool and the panic attack still there. Truly back to beginning. But this time no sadness. Just accept that this is what I can do now.
Mom see me in pain and immediately said its due to yoga. I told her ifs because I stopped my medication. Then she start to give me remedy learned from friends. When I walk in pain she kept asking me if I can take medication or injection to cure the pain. I told her can't I be in pain without having to explain myself.
Now sitting I realised that she is acting up cos she can't handle to see pain just like she can't see tears. Her auto reaction is asking me to stop crying or stop feeling painful.
Father, slowly seeing anger from others on me does not relate to me. It related to their own perception of how they see me or themselves. Just like that day G was angry that I commented the shrine of L is messy and energy average. At first I tot she was scolding me for making feedback then I realised she is angry cos she didn't bring me to the nice place that I wanted to go. Instead of feeling guilty, she try to make me feel bad for seeing the place as not as good as the other.
Perhaps slowly Seven of Clubs is over.
Sadhguru
The fundamental goal of the spiritual path is, when a person experientially realises that everything is so transient, he becomes loose within himself. He is not stuck to anything. When he is not stuck to anything, if he wishes he can withdraw from everything; and if he wishes he can enjoy everything, but there is no suffering. If he wishes he can suffer also. Sometimes, even that is good; that suffering is not a suffering anymore. U can allow urself to melt and fuse with somebody. U can cry with somebody if u want to, but it is no longer suffering. After the crying is over, u are a new being.
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Osho - Silence
Jun 26
This week Osho tarot card
Issue - silence
The energy of the whole has taken possession of you. You are possessed, you are no more, the whole is. This moment, as the silence penetrates in you, you can understand the significance of it, because it is the same silence that Gautam Buddha experienced. It is the same silence that Chuang Tzu or Bodhidharma or Nansen.... The taste of the silence is the same. Time changes, the world goes on changing, but the experience of silence, the joy of it, remains the same. That is the only thing you can rely upon, the only thing that never dies. It is the only thing that you can call your very being.
Now is a very precious time. It will be easy for you to rest inside, to plumb the depths of your own inner silence to the point where it meets the silence of the universe. There's nothing to do, nowhere to go, and the quality of your inner silence permeates everything you do. It might make some people uncomfortable, accustomed as they are to all the noise and activity of the world. Never mind; seek out those who can resonate with your silence - or enjoy your aloneness. Now is the time to come home to yourself. The understanding and insights that come to you in these moments will be manifested later on, in a more outgoing phase of your life.
2. Internal influence that you are aware
Slowing Down
The Knight of Rainbows is a reminder that, just like this tortoise, we carry our home with us wherever we go. There is no need to hurry, no need to seek shelter elsewhere. Even as we move into the depths of the emotional waters, we can remain self-contained and free from attachments. It is a time when you are ready to let go of any expectations you have had about yourself or other people, and to take responsibility for any illusions you might have been carrying. There is no need to do anything but rest in the fullness of who you are right now. If desires and hopes and dreams are fading away, so much the better. Their disappearance is making space for a new quality of stillness and acceptance of what is, and you are able to welcome this development in a way you have never been able to before. Savor this quality of slowing down, of coming to rest and recognizing that you are already at home.
3. External influence
. External influences that you are aware
Compromise
The two figures on this card remind us of the sleazy and conspiratorial situations we can get into when we compromise our own truth. It is one thing to meet another halfway, to understand a point of view different from our own and work towards a harmony of the opposing forces. It is quite another to "cave in" and betray our own truth. If we look deeply into it, we usually find that we are trying to gain something--whether it is power or the approval of others. If you are tempted, beware: the rewards of this kind of compromise always leave a bitter taste in the mouth.
4. Whats needed for resolution?
Friendliness
First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. Then it is simple, too. You don't depend on others and you don't make others dependent on you. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness. It never becomes a relationship, it is always a relatedness.
This card indicates a readiness to enter this quality of friendliness. In the passage, you may notice that you are no longer interested in all kinds of dramas and romances that other people are engaged in. It is not a loss. It is the birth of a higher, more loving quality born of the fullness of experience. It is the birth of a love that is truly unconditional, without expectations or demands.
5. Resolution
Either you can be in existence or you can be in the self--both are not possible together. To be in the self means to be apart, to be separate. To be in the self means to become an island. To be in the self means to draw a boundary line around you. To be in the self means to make a distinction between 'this I am' and 'that I am not'. The definition, the boundary, between "I" and "not I" is what the self is--the self isolates. And it makes you frozen--you are no longer flowing. If you are flowing the self cannot exist. Hence people have become almost like ice-cubes. They don't have any warmth, they don't have any love--love is warmth and they are afraid of love. If warmth comes to them they will start melting and the boundaries will disappear. In love the boundaries disappear; in joy also the boundaries disappear, because joy is not cold.
This week Osho tarot card
Issue - silence
The energy of the whole has taken possession of you. You are possessed, you are no more, the whole is. This moment, as the silence penetrates in you, you can understand the significance of it, because it is the same silence that Gautam Buddha experienced. It is the same silence that Chuang Tzu or Bodhidharma or Nansen.... The taste of the silence is the same. Time changes, the world goes on changing, but the experience of silence, the joy of it, remains the same. That is the only thing you can rely upon, the only thing that never dies. It is the only thing that you can call your very being.
Now is a very precious time. It will be easy for you to rest inside, to plumb the depths of your own inner silence to the point where it meets the silence of the universe. There's nothing to do, nowhere to go, and the quality of your inner silence permeates everything you do. It might make some people uncomfortable, accustomed as they are to all the noise and activity of the world. Never mind; seek out those who can resonate with your silence - or enjoy your aloneness. Now is the time to come home to yourself. The understanding and insights that come to you in these moments will be manifested later on, in a more outgoing phase of your life.
2. Internal influence that you are aware
Slowing Down
The Knight of Rainbows is a reminder that, just like this tortoise, we carry our home with us wherever we go. There is no need to hurry, no need to seek shelter elsewhere. Even as we move into the depths of the emotional waters, we can remain self-contained and free from attachments. It is a time when you are ready to let go of any expectations you have had about yourself or other people, and to take responsibility for any illusions you might have been carrying. There is no need to do anything but rest in the fullness of who you are right now. If desires and hopes and dreams are fading away, so much the better. Their disappearance is making space for a new quality of stillness and acceptance of what is, and you are able to welcome this development in a way you have never been able to before. Savor this quality of slowing down, of coming to rest and recognizing that you are already at home.
3. External influence
. External influences that you are aware
Compromise
The two figures on this card remind us of the sleazy and conspiratorial situations we can get into when we compromise our own truth. It is one thing to meet another halfway, to understand a point of view different from our own and work towards a harmony of the opposing forces. It is quite another to "cave in" and betray our own truth. If we look deeply into it, we usually find that we are trying to gain something--whether it is power or the approval of others. If you are tempted, beware: the rewards of this kind of compromise always leave a bitter taste in the mouth.
4. Whats needed for resolution?
Friendliness
First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. Then it is simple, too. You don't depend on others and you don't make others dependent on you. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness. It never becomes a relationship, it is always a relatedness.
This card indicates a readiness to enter this quality of friendliness. In the passage, you may notice that you are no longer interested in all kinds of dramas and romances that other people are engaged in. It is not a loss. It is the birth of a higher, more loving quality born of the fullness of experience. It is the birth of a love that is truly unconditional, without expectations or demands.
5. Resolution
Either you can be in existence or you can be in the self--both are not possible together. To be in the self means to be apart, to be separate. To be in the self means to become an island. To be in the self means to draw a boundary line around you. To be in the self means to make a distinction between 'this I am' and 'that I am not'. The definition, the boundary, between "I" and "not I" is what the self is--the self isolates. And it makes you frozen--you are no longer flowing. If you are flowing the self cannot exist. Hence people have become almost like ice-cubes. They don't have any warmth, they don't have any love--love is warmth and they are afraid of love. If warmth comes to them they will start melting and the boundaries will disappear. In love the boundaries disappear; in joy also the boundaries disappear, because joy is not cold.
Sadhguru - Peace means nothingness
Jun 25 eve
Went for a hair cut. For the first time just sat and be. Not interested in looking at magazine nor read my book. Just be there enjoying myself, my own presence.
Got a new hair style; just let my hair stylist decide, not recall bothered if it is okay. Hair cut not so okay but I m fine with it. It will grow. For now I enjoy the lightness of having short hair.
Sadhguru
Peace means nothingness. Peace is not something that u create. Peace is not something that happens. Peace is something that always is. Peace is the fundamental existence. What happens on the surface is disturbance.
This is just like the ocean. On the surface of the ocean u will see waves, tremendous turbulence and tremendous turmoil going on, but if u go deep down, it is peaceful.
The fundamental quality of existence is always peace.
Soul
Amen.
Sadhguru
A desire means u are incomplete. A desire means, I am here; something is here. If I reach this or get this, I m going to be total. When I reach this goal I am going to be total. This is the basis of a desire.
At every step, desire creates this illusion: if I get this, that is it. The thought is a deception. U can go on desiring for ur whole life. They go on desiring because the deception of desire is such that it literally seduces u into believing everything is going to be okay.
With this deception it keeps you going all the time, but between desire and thought there is a certain space. If u become aware of this space, the desire completely evaporates. Just being here is enough, because it is really enough. It is sufficient to be here. There is no need to go anywhere.
Went for a hair cut. For the first time just sat and be. Not interested in looking at magazine nor read my book. Just be there enjoying myself, my own presence.
Got a new hair style; just let my hair stylist decide, not recall bothered if it is okay. Hair cut not so okay but I m fine with it. It will grow. For now I enjoy the lightness of having short hair.
Sadhguru
Peace means nothingness. Peace is not something that u create. Peace is not something that happens. Peace is something that always is. Peace is the fundamental existence. What happens on the surface is disturbance.
This is just like the ocean. On the surface of the ocean u will see waves, tremendous turbulence and tremendous turmoil going on, but if u go deep down, it is peaceful.
The fundamental quality of existence is always peace.
Soul
Amen.
Sadhguru
A desire means u are incomplete. A desire means, I am here; something is here. If I reach this or get this, I m going to be total. When I reach this goal I am going to be total. This is the basis of a desire.
At every step, desire creates this illusion: if I get this, that is it. The thought is a deception. U can go on desiring for ur whole life. They go on desiring because the deception of desire is such that it literally seduces u into believing everything is going to be okay.
With this deception it keeps you going all the time, but between desire and thought there is a certain space. If u become aware of this space, the desire completely evaporates. Just being here is enough, because it is really enough. It is sufficient to be here. There is no need to go anywhere.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
I am responsible for the recordings in my mind
Jun 24
Looks like I may have some money in income tax due to overpayment for tax on shares. One and half week to my new year.
Just came up not keen to watch drama on television. The more I am aware of how mind automatically capture data, I have to take responsibility for what goes in as mind generally extrapolate.
Sadhguru
In US, an average American never stays in any jobs more than 3 years. The same could be happening in relationships for lots of people. They keep shifting. They never remain for more than 3 years or whatever number of years.
This need to shift come because there is a feeling of insecurity all the time.
Soul
It's true. Many years ago I shift jobs quite frequently. I tot it's because I need new challenges. The truth is I felt insecure when current job challenges been met. I thrived in challenging situations to feel secure. No more such insecurity after doing Sadhana. Current job is 8 years. I joined Isha for 7.5 years now.
Sadhguru
So the first thing is to stabilise life; it's very important.
U can't settle the whole society for ur sake.
So the first thing is to stabilise ur system, ur energies, ur emotions and ur mind.
If u stabilise these, irrespective of what's happening around you, u pursue ur goal; and society will change only when hundreds of people become stable within themselves.
U can't stabilise society without stabilising people, isn't it.
Soul
Yes.
Use to think why I go through much emotional drama. Now I learned not to get myself into situations that I can't abide in.
It's funny. This week card of Friendliness; didn't expect to face the drama from G. G down due to her drama with her husband. Well, not sure if she can make up but I am okay to stay with my brother.
Looks like I may have some money in income tax due to overpayment for tax on shares. One and half week to my new year.
Just came up not keen to watch drama on television. The more I am aware of how mind automatically capture data, I have to take responsibility for what goes in as mind generally extrapolate.
Sadhguru
In US, an average American never stays in any jobs more than 3 years. The same could be happening in relationships for lots of people. They keep shifting. They never remain for more than 3 years or whatever number of years.
This need to shift come because there is a feeling of insecurity all the time.
Soul
It's true. Many years ago I shift jobs quite frequently. I tot it's because I need new challenges. The truth is I felt insecure when current job challenges been met. I thrived in challenging situations to feel secure. No more such insecurity after doing Sadhana. Current job is 8 years. I joined Isha for 7.5 years now.
Sadhguru
So the first thing is to stabilise life; it's very important.
U can't settle the whole society for ur sake.
So the first thing is to stabilise ur system, ur energies, ur emotions and ur mind.
If u stabilise these, irrespective of what's happening around you, u pursue ur goal; and society will change only when hundreds of people become stable within themselves.
U can't stabilise society without stabilising people, isn't it.
Soul
Yes.
Use to think why I go through much emotional drama. Now I learned not to get myself into situations that I can't abide in.
It's funny. This week card of Friendliness; didn't expect to face the drama from G. G down due to her drama with her husband. Well, not sure if she can make up but I am okay to stay with my brother.
Sadhguru - first step to see your illness as your responsibility
Jun 23 aft
Today saw the email and feel unfair being judged.
Then I took the courage to make a stand; albeit bit childish. I told my boss that eventhough she doesn't like my response, I still go to say it.
Anyway, later calmed down and explained my issue of resolving defence mechanism to my boss. She said a possible approach.
Father, it okay to have outer defence mechanism. Just need to display it according to situation.
Jun 23 eve
Sadhguru
Whether ur body is well, ur body is ill or whatever, the first thing is to see its my responsibility.
Then energy gets centered in one place. Otherwise life is scattered
My career is like this; my boss is responsible
Something is like that, somebody else is responsible.
So the first thing is to get it centered so then u see, it's me, nothing else but me.
Whatever may be happening, or whatever not happening, it's just me.
Now you have become straight with life. This is not spirituality, this is just learning to be absolutely straight.
Soul
That's the step I want to take with my body, want to deal with the RA that I have unconsciously created. It's about misplaced defence mechanism.
Today saw the email and feel unfair being judged.
Then I took the courage to make a stand; albeit bit childish. I told my boss that eventhough she doesn't like my response, I still go to say it.
Anyway, later calmed down and explained my issue of resolving defence mechanism to my boss. She said a possible approach.
Father, it okay to have outer defence mechanism. Just need to display it according to situation.
Jun 23 eve
Sadhguru
Whether ur body is well, ur body is ill or whatever, the first thing is to see its my responsibility.
Then energy gets centered in one place. Otherwise life is scattered
My career is like this; my boss is responsible
Something is like that, somebody else is responsible.
So the first thing is to get it centered so then u see, it's me, nothing else but me.
Whatever may be happening, or whatever not happening, it's just me.
Now you have become straight with life. This is not spirituality, this is just learning to be absolutely straight.
Soul
That's the step I want to take with my body, want to deal with the RA that I have unconsciously created. It's about misplaced defence mechanism.
There is no medical cure for Rheumatoid Arthritis
June 23
A tot came in on all these Destiny card numbers
Seven
Eight
Ten
King
All have strong defence mechanism. What they don't want. They don't do at all. They only move when they want to..
Whereas..I move easily.
Eons ago I read I was easily influenced and I brushed it off..cos I tot I am quite independent.
I am easily influenced my my validation issue is affected.
Hence I can do things which is against what I truly want..and continue doing it without knowing I disliked it....then hoping others stop me..and when they don't stop me..I become resentful of them...
So..it is all me..truly lacked of boundary in personal relationships.
On my illness..comes to the conclusion after reading all the RA support facebook and website articles that there is no medical cure for RA.
RA is overactive inner defense mechanism.
This means outer defense mechanism is not working or suppressed hence inner become overactive.
Only I can cure my RA.
Saw this blog read by a reader.
Jan 1 eve
Karma your own making by Sadhguru
This life is ur doing. Only and if this life is ur doing, then u got liberation. Because it is ur doing, it can be undone.
U can use people around you to break the karma or to make karma.
If u are aware, u cause karma of liberation. If u are unaware, u can cause karma of bondage.
U can sit alone in a room but still can create karma of bondage with everyone.
It is not an interaction with somebody. It is something within u.
Karma means a cocoon. If u crack it, something beautiful can happen.
Karma is not about somebody, whether close or not close to you. Everything is your doing, your action, ur creation. So liberation is also ur doing. This is an inside job but some outside help is needed.
Soul
Only I can liberate myself from my overactive defense mechanism.
There is no other cure but me.
The bucks stops here.
A tot came in on all these Destiny card numbers
Seven
Eight
Ten
King
All have strong defence mechanism. What they don't want. They don't do at all. They only move when they want to..
Whereas..I move easily.
Eons ago I read I was easily influenced and I brushed it off..cos I tot I am quite independent.
I am easily influenced my my validation issue is affected.
Hence I can do things which is against what I truly want..and continue doing it without knowing I disliked it....then hoping others stop me..and when they don't stop me..I become resentful of them...
So..it is all me..truly lacked of boundary in personal relationships.
On my illness..comes to the conclusion after reading all the RA support facebook and website articles that there is no medical cure for RA.
RA is overactive inner defense mechanism.
This means outer defense mechanism is not working or suppressed hence inner become overactive.
Only I can cure my RA.
Saw this blog read by a reader.
Jan 1 eve
Karma your own making by Sadhguru
This life is ur doing. Only and if this life is ur doing, then u got liberation. Because it is ur doing, it can be undone.
U can use people around you to break the karma or to make karma.
If u are aware, u cause karma of liberation. If u are unaware, u can cause karma of bondage.
U can sit alone in a room but still can create karma of bondage with everyone.
It is not an interaction with somebody. It is something within u.
Karma means a cocoon. If u crack it, something beautiful can happen.
Karma is not about somebody, whether close or not close to you. Everything is your doing, your action, ur creation. So liberation is also ur doing. This is an inside job but some outside help is needed.
Soul
Only I can liberate myself from my overactive defense mechanism.
There is no other cure but me.
The bucks stops here.
Sadhguru - Sadhana for energy creates sustainable change
Jun 22 aft
Deleted the group chat when L keep on writing non stop.
Also event has ended. So I exit. This time no guilt no rashness. Just didn't want to be exposed to the negative chats.
Me slowly create parameter building external defence mechanism.
I am a sensitive crab that need a hard shell but was masquerading as a bull.
Evening
Heard about the commotion at home. Mom was so angry and frustrated with my nephew that she left the house and stay in the shade.
I said my brother having password on television only causes us suffering.
My sis in law was upset saying we scold her.
My sis said the word too strong. I stand by it and I told her she doesn't stay here so it doesn't affect her. That's also one of the reason I m looking forward to shift out cos the commotion and noise not conducive for my sadhana.
I didn't feel guilty for saying what I did cos I m also sad that my Mom need to brace through my nephew tantrum on alternate day basis. But I want my sis in law to know I m not angry with her. So I msg her.
I m now asserting my parameter. It may be strong parameter but I need to create it so that excessive inner defence mechanism is not required.
Sadhguru
Sadhana is to establish a foundation which will sustain a higher level of consciousness and a higher level of energy. This is to slowly u can see that u are not so much of a body.
Small, small physical things which were important to u are not so important for u now.
The whole process of practices is to make u less and less of a body and a mind.
U are hungry, it doesn't matter, can wait
U are thirsty, it doesn't matter, can wait.
U can wait another hour because u are becoming less of a body.
This is a constant progression. It is happening. Why all the time, for ages, we have been insisting that practice should happen whether u understand or don't understand is for this reason. As u move into the practice, things that ur mind cannot do, slowly ur energy will do.
This four things are complementary - ur body, ur mind, ur emotion and ur energy. If u handle all of them properly, ur growth is very quick.
But above all, handling ur energy properly is the most important thing, because if u transform ur body, u can reverse it in no time.
With one week drinking and etc from two months of Hatha yoga, ur body will be beaten.
With the mind, u can cultivate with a lot of care, but very easily u can go out and reverse the whole process very quickly but when u cultivate the energy, it is not so quick.
Once u cultivate the energy, it doesn't matter where u go or what u do. It gives u a certain sense of freedom that situations doesn't overpower u, doesn't overtake u. They don't decide ur quality. Wherever u go, u still maintain ur quality.
Soul
Yes. Sadhana for me. Changes that happen in me is beyond my own capacity. It just happen
Waking up early, Meat, coffee, leisure breakfast, Indian food, physical exercise, less toilet period.
I always said my body is last..
And Hata Yoga catch me last..
And then my Rheumatoid Arthritis...and now Homoepathy.
Deleted the group chat when L keep on writing non stop.
Also event has ended. So I exit. This time no guilt no rashness. Just didn't want to be exposed to the negative chats.
Me slowly create parameter building external defence mechanism.
I am a sensitive crab that need a hard shell but was masquerading as a bull.
Evening
Heard about the commotion at home. Mom was so angry and frustrated with my nephew that she left the house and stay in the shade.
I said my brother having password on television only causes us suffering.
My sis in law was upset saying we scold her.
My sis said the word too strong. I stand by it and I told her she doesn't stay here so it doesn't affect her. That's also one of the reason I m looking forward to shift out cos the commotion and noise not conducive for my sadhana.
I didn't feel guilty for saying what I did cos I m also sad that my Mom need to brace through my nephew tantrum on alternate day basis. But I want my sis in law to know I m not angry with her. So I msg her.
I m now asserting my parameter. It may be strong parameter but I need to create it so that excessive inner defence mechanism is not required.
Sadhguru
Sadhana is to establish a foundation which will sustain a higher level of consciousness and a higher level of energy. This is to slowly u can see that u are not so much of a body.
Small, small physical things which were important to u are not so important for u now.
The whole process of practices is to make u less and less of a body and a mind.
U are hungry, it doesn't matter, can wait
U are thirsty, it doesn't matter, can wait.
U can wait another hour because u are becoming less of a body.
This is a constant progression. It is happening. Why all the time, for ages, we have been insisting that practice should happen whether u understand or don't understand is for this reason. As u move into the practice, things that ur mind cannot do, slowly ur energy will do.
This four things are complementary - ur body, ur mind, ur emotion and ur energy. If u handle all of them properly, ur growth is very quick.
But above all, handling ur energy properly is the most important thing, because if u transform ur body, u can reverse it in no time.
With one week drinking and etc from two months of Hatha yoga, ur body will be beaten.
With the mind, u can cultivate with a lot of care, but very easily u can go out and reverse the whole process very quickly but when u cultivate the energy, it is not so quick.
Once u cultivate the energy, it doesn't matter where u go or what u do. It gives u a certain sense of freedom that situations doesn't overpower u, doesn't overtake u. They don't decide ur quality. Wherever u go, u still maintain ur quality.
Soul
Yes. Sadhana for me. Changes that happen in me is beyond my own capacity. It just happen
Waking up early, Meat, coffee, leisure breakfast, Indian food, physical exercise, less toilet period.
I always said my body is last..
And Hata Yoga catch me last..
And then my Rheumatoid Arthritis...and now Homoepathy.
Much Rheumatoid Arthritis pain..but sadhana still on
June 22
Today woke up with much pain on my both feet..but body was fine and alert.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by cat stretch.
My right palm hurt much but still cat stretch was good.
Did Angamardhana...it was quite good despite the pain on both feet. Couldn't do the squatting posture as both front feet hurts much. Feels good after Angamardhana.
Opted out Surya Kriya.
Did a long nice breathing meditation.
Shakti was good eventhough my feet was hurting. Able to do 3 cycle of slow 150 Kapala Bhakti.
Shambavi was good too despite difficult Suka Kriya due to pain in right elbow.
It has been a while since I experienced such pain...a tot came to take steriods per doctor instruction but then I sai nope.
Checked out the flights to Mumbai...i need at least 3k,..might as well save the money to buy equipment for the condo.
Truly not the right time to travel..especially with my money issue.
I truly miss ashram..maybe go via Cochin instead.
Its okay...maybe just chilll out...thats all.
Today woke up with much pain on my both feet..but body was fine and alert.
Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by cat stretch.
My right palm hurt much but still cat stretch was good.
Did Angamardhana...it was quite good despite the pain on both feet. Couldn't do the squatting posture as both front feet hurts much. Feels good after Angamardhana.
Opted out Surya Kriya.
Did a long nice breathing meditation.
Shakti was good eventhough my feet was hurting. Able to do 3 cycle of slow 150 Kapala Bhakti.
Shambavi was good too despite difficult Suka Kriya due to pain in right elbow.
It has been a while since I experienced such pain...a tot came to take steriods per doctor instruction but then I sai nope.
Checked out the flights to Mumbai...i need at least 3k,..might as well save the money to buy equipment for the condo.
Truly not the right time to travel..especially with my money issue.
I truly miss ashram..maybe go via Cochin instead.
Its okay...maybe just chilll out...thats all.
Friday, July 17, 2015
Sadhguru - being myself
June 21 eve
Did volunteering for International Yoga day. Did the morning session followed by afternoon. My role mainly on being Interactor.
Just as I have learned to be in the rship at office, in family and now in Local Isha.
I can play certain role there but I m not willing to be hands on and stay there whole day. Volunteering path truly not for me.
The celeb were amazed that I m 48 years old and said I m an inspiration for Isha. Guess that the role I can carry, being Ambassador.
My both feet is in pain due too much walking today. Got to take rest. Again my inner defence mechanism takes over if my outer defence mechanism not in place. But these days it's on. I was able to leave the venue without any feeling of guilt or resentment. I truly can't feel the bliss of volunteering but I m truly happy able to share Isha's tools and Sadhguru.
Me the bliss of sadhana and my shrine. Now at home with Sannidhi.
Neptune 12 may to 2 July
Destiny
Four of Diamonds
This is a good card for money and indicated money made through travel or foreign interest, in the care of others or in some secret way.
U are somewhat protected in all ur business dealings under this influence. This is a card of satisfaction in financial affairs and one which u can take time to enjoy the fruits of ur labor as well.
Ruling
Two of Hearts
King of Spades
Soul
Outwardly my values are now intact. I m seeing that I need to create boundaries cos I can't take what others are taking. By doing that I m consciously creating my outer defence mechanism.
On my emotion. Can't say I m happy that I can be with local Isha but I m not sad. That's a start. Finally learning the rope of maintaining boundary in group relationship. I m learning it's okay to be alone when I want to.
Sadhguru
In the inner journey is to lose that race of trying to be like somebody or in some way trying to be better than somebody.
It is to be out of the race within itself because u are not trying to be like somebody, nor are u trying to be better than somebody else.
U are coming to a state where "being myself" is more than enough.
The very process of spirituality is to become in such a way, I m sitting with u here, I m completely by myself. I don't need to become anything. I don't need to make myself into something. If I simply sit, the entire world is within me. I m absolute, all existence is within me.
Each individual can be in his own way and still be progressing.
Did volunteering for International Yoga day. Did the morning session followed by afternoon. My role mainly on being Interactor.
Just as I have learned to be in the rship at office, in family and now in Local Isha.
I can play certain role there but I m not willing to be hands on and stay there whole day. Volunteering path truly not for me.
The celeb were amazed that I m 48 years old and said I m an inspiration for Isha. Guess that the role I can carry, being Ambassador.
My both feet is in pain due too much walking today. Got to take rest. Again my inner defence mechanism takes over if my outer defence mechanism not in place. But these days it's on. I was able to leave the venue without any feeling of guilt or resentment. I truly can't feel the bliss of volunteering but I m truly happy able to share Isha's tools and Sadhguru.
Me the bliss of sadhana and my shrine. Now at home with Sannidhi.
Neptune 12 may to 2 July
Destiny
Four of Diamonds
This is a good card for money and indicated money made through travel or foreign interest, in the care of others or in some secret way.
U are somewhat protected in all ur business dealings under this influence. This is a card of satisfaction in financial affairs and one which u can take time to enjoy the fruits of ur labor as well.
Ruling
Two of Hearts
King of Spades
Soul
Outwardly my values are now intact. I m seeing that I need to create boundaries cos I can't take what others are taking. By doing that I m consciously creating my outer defence mechanism.
On my emotion. Can't say I m happy that I can be with local Isha but I m not sad. That's a start. Finally learning the rope of maintaining boundary in group relationship. I m learning it's okay to be alone when I want to.
Sadhguru
In the inner journey is to lose that race of trying to be like somebody or in some way trying to be better than somebody.
It is to be out of the race within itself because u are not trying to be like somebody, nor are u trying to be better than somebody else.
U are coming to a state where "being myself" is more than enough.
The very process of spirituality is to become in such a way, I m sitting with u here, I m completely by myself. I don't need to become anything. I don't need to make myself into something. If I simply sit, the entire world is within me. I m absolute, all existence is within me.
Each individual can be in his own way and still be progressing.
Osho - creativity
Jun 19 eve 2
Suddenly occurred to me the break up and then independence from local Isha family.
That's also the Uranus in Fourth house.
Today had a surprise, the newspaper article came out just in time. Many calls come in on the yoga day.
Met a few participants who said they joined because they heard the radio interview that I arranged.
Guess that what the Creativity card means.
1. The Issue - Creativity
Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine. You become more divine as you become more creative. All the religions of the world have said God is the creator. I don't know whether he is the creator or not, but one thing I know: the more creative you become, the more godly you become. When your creativity comes to a climax, when your whole life becomes creative, you live in God. So he must be the creator because people who have been creative have been closest to him. Love what you do. Be meditative while you are doing it - whatsoever it is!
Soul
They then adjourned for set up for tomorrow big event. I didn't go.
Didn't even tot of it.
I can't say I m happy I didn't go. But I m definitely relieved that I didn't go. Just spending time with my family and a short nap made my day.
In the end I m just a private person. I just prefer to keep to myself.
Also now knowing that my overactive inner defence mechanism must be expressed I m now creating a outer defence mechanism.
Today didn't go to swim. Mainly due to lack of time but also because I want to create some parameter so I don't feel fearful. Yes. That's me to create parameter cos I lost mine due to karmic past. This lifetime is to create boundary so I can live my comfort life instead of forever chasing intense situations.
Went to my new place, the space in the building is nice and airy. The pool is lovely so inviting.
Suddenly occurred to me the break up and then independence from local Isha family.
That's also the Uranus in Fourth house.
Today had a surprise, the newspaper article came out just in time. Many calls come in on the yoga day.
Met a few participants who said they joined because they heard the radio interview that I arranged.
Guess that what the Creativity card means.
1. The Issue - Creativity
Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine. You become more divine as you become more creative. All the religions of the world have said God is the creator. I don't know whether he is the creator or not, but one thing I know: the more creative you become, the more godly you become. When your creativity comes to a climax, when your whole life becomes creative, you live in God. So he must be the creator because people who have been creative have been closest to him. Love what you do. Be meditative while you are doing it - whatsoever it is!
Soul
They then adjourned for set up for tomorrow big event. I didn't go.
Didn't even tot of it.
I can't say I m happy I didn't go. But I m definitely relieved that I didn't go. Just spending time with my family and a short nap made my day.
In the end I m just a private person. I just prefer to keep to myself.
Also now knowing that my overactive inner defence mechanism must be expressed I m now creating a outer defence mechanism.
Today didn't go to swim. Mainly due to lack of time but also because I want to create some parameter so I don't feel fearful. Yes. That's me to create parameter cos I lost mine due to karmic past. This lifetime is to create boundary so I can live my comfort life instead of forever chasing intense situations.
Went to my new place, the space in the building is nice and airy. The pool is lovely so inviting.
Uranus in the Fourth House
Jun 19 eve 1
Uranus in the Fourth House
Uranus in the Fourth House often symbolizes a deep existential restlessness of the spirit. You are searching for your foundation, for your roots, for your cosmic maternal source. Insight and revelation come to you from deep inside, from your subconscious mind. These impulses may be disturbing or inspirational, depending upon your receptivity. Thus, you may engage in a lifelong internal quest for your own True Home, or you may manifest an irritable, erratic and excitable nature, particularly to your own family.
Transcendent Potential
You can realize the transcendent potential of Uranus in the Fourth House when you inwardly know that you are a stranger in a strange land, an alien in this world who has lost your way Home. You are restless to find your source and to build a foundation for yourself that you can truly stand on. This is a foundation built of Idea and not subject to transitory change.
Soul
So true. It's because I don't reflect such insecurity that it goes into my body.
Uranus in Fourth House
To find your True Home and to build this foundation, you must seclude yourself, must protect yourself against the distractions of the mundane and reestablish yourself with the Fountain of Inspiration that lies within you. Revelation is to be found within your own heart, for this is the place of your Real Home.
Soul
Yes. Now getting my own place with my own sadhana room. Can now focus on path without constant loud noise from my nephews.
Insecurity
If you are inwardly insecure, this is because you have no firm foundation in your life. You feel as if the rug may be pulled out from under you at any time and, therefore, you try to protect yourself against sudden change as much as possible. You may resist and fear change but, nevertheless, change and instability overwhelm you.
This is most likely to be true in your family life. Particularly if you came from an unstable family environment, your own domestic circumstances are likely to be haphazard, unpredictable and/or marked by separations and instability. Your nature is restless, but you are directionless. You drift and change with the winds. You have no internal anchor, no real home. You may be afraid of being abandoned and you are likely to fear many things, many things lurking and ready to spring from your past and from the bottomlessness of your subconscious mind.
Soul
I truly got loads of suppressed fear.
On the surface I seem fearless. And I don't set any defence mechanism. If anything is inwards.
Alas I m not truly fearless hence my panic attack in the pool.
Father I want to acknowledge all my hidden and suppressed fear. Let my all my fear be out so my inner defence mechanism need not overreact.
Your Focus of Individuation
Through the process of individuation, you seek a transformation of your core and your foundation. This is a thorough transformative process from your roots upward.
The first step in the individuation process is often for you to separate yourself, psychologically, emotionally and sometimes physically, from your family in an effort to define your own independent identity. Though this is a natural process during adolescence, you may engage in this separation more strongly and/or earlier than normal. It may even appear to be rebelliousness, but any rebelliousness is, in reality, a search for the real self. Ultimately, if the individuation process is to complete itself, you must gain conscious awareness of your independence and sufficient confidence in your own identity so that you are able to become, again, a part of your family without any threat felt to the integrity of your own identity.
This individuation from the influence of family also often includes a rejection of your background and heritage in your attempt to strip away the conditioning influences of that background. As with the family, individuation is not complete until you can, once again, come to terms with and appreciate your heritage. More broadly even, Uranus in the Fourth House symbolizes your attempts to free yourself from all conditioning and collective identity in order to find your own authenticity.
Soul
This did happen with me getting my shrine.
After the shrine now I am finally shifting out to my own place.
Focus of Your New Directions and Insight
You may attain and implement insights and new ideas that pertain to family and domestic life. These may involve your home and your domestic surroundings, new ideas about family roles or new ideas about the place of the family in your life. In modern times, this may translate into a higher tolerance for instability within the family. Beyond this, you can be receptive to insights into your own emotions and subconscious patterns and to consequent new directions in your approach to your interior self. For some, the insight and revelation symbolized by Uranus will be fundamental in nature, resulting in firmly rooted and profound changes in direction and life innovations.
Your Focus of Change
For you, change often occurs within the family or within your domestic life. You may also want to change your home and surrounding environment. This may mean redecorating every few years or picking up and moving frequently. This attention to changing your home is often symbolic of a deeper restlessness of which you may not be fully conscious. This restlessness may become so intense that you feel that you have no home anymore. When you pursue this feeling of restlessness, it may result in you desiring to change certain fundamentals about yourself.
Your personality may also express undertones of Uranus aspecting the Moon.
Soul
Truly ruling Ace of Diamonds.
Didn't change the home..but definitely at work.
I constantly changed jobs till in my late thirties.
Uranus in the Fourth House
Uranus in the Fourth House often symbolizes a deep existential restlessness of the spirit. You are searching for your foundation, for your roots, for your cosmic maternal source. Insight and revelation come to you from deep inside, from your subconscious mind. These impulses may be disturbing or inspirational, depending upon your receptivity. Thus, you may engage in a lifelong internal quest for your own True Home, or you may manifest an irritable, erratic and excitable nature, particularly to your own family.
Transcendent Potential
You can realize the transcendent potential of Uranus in the Fourth House when you inwardly know that you are a stranger in a strange land, an alien in this world who has lost your way Home. You are restless to find your source and to build a foundation for yourself that you can truly stand on. This is a foundation built of Idea and not subject to transitory change.
Soul
So true. It's because I don't reflect such insecurity that it goes into my body.
Uranus in Fourth House
To find your True Home and to build this foundation, you must seclude yourself, must protect yourself against the distractions of the mundane and reestablish yourself with the Fountain of Inspiration that lies within you. Revelation is to be found within your own heart, for this is the place of your Real Home.
Soul
Yes. Now getting my own place with my own sadhana room. Can now focus on path without constant loud noise from my nephews.
Insecurity
If you are inwardly insecure, this is because you have no firm foundation in your life. You feel as if the rug may be pulled out from under you at any time and, therefore, you try to protect yourself against sudden change as much as possible. You may resist and fear change but, nevertheless, change and instability overwhelm you.
This is most likely to be true in your family life. Particularly if you came from an unstable family environment, your own domestic circumstances are likely to be haphazard, unpredictable and/or marked by separations and instability. Your nature is restless, but you are directionless. You drift and change with the winds. You have no internal anchor, no real home. You may be afraid of being abandoned and you are likely to fear many things, many things lurking and ready to spring from your past and from the bottomlessness of your subconscious mind.
Soul
I truly got loads of suppressed fear.
On the surface I seem fearless. And I don't set any defence mechanism. If anything is inwards.
Alas I m not truly fearless hence my panic attack in the pool.
Father I want to acknowledge all my hidden and suppressed fear. Let my all my fear be out so my inner defence mechanism need not overreact.
Your Focus of Individuation
Through the process of individuation, you seek a transformation of your core and your foundation. This is a thorough transformative process from your roots upward.
The first step in the individuation process is often for you to separate yourself, psychologically, emotionally and sometimes physically, from your family in an effort to define your own independent identity. Though this is a natural process during adolescence, you may engage in this separation more strongly and/or earlier than normal. It may even appear to be rebelliousness, but any rebelliousness is, in reality, a search for the real self. Ultimately, if the individuation process is to complete itself, you must gain conscious awareness of your independence and sufficient confidence in your own identity so that you are able to become, again, a part of your family without any threat felt to the integrity of your own identity.
This individuation from the influence of family also often includes a rejection of your background and heritage in your attempt to strip away the conditioning influences of that background. As with the family, individuation is not complete until you can, once again, come to terms with and appreciate your heritage. More broadly even, Uranus in the Fourth House symbolizes your attempts to free yourself from all conditioning and collective identity in order to find your own authenticity.
Soul
This did happen with me getting my shrine.
After the shrine now I am finally shifting out to my own place.
Focus of Your New Directions and Insight
You may attain and implement insights and new ideas that pertain to family and domestic life. These may involve your home and your domestic surroundings, new ideas about family roles or new ideas about the place of the family in your life. In modern times, this may translate into a higher tolerance for instability within the family. Beyond this, you can be receptive to insights into your own emotions and subconscious patterns and to consequent new directions in your approach to your interior self. For some, the insight and revelation symbolized by Uranus will be fundamental in nature, resulting in firmly rooted and profound changes in direction and life innovations.
Your Focus of Change
For you, change often occurs within the family or within your domestic life. You may also want to change your home and surrounding environment. This may mean redecorating every few years or picking up and moving frequently. This attention to changing your home is often symbolic of a deeper restlessness of which you may not be fully conscious. This restlessness may become so intense that you feel that you have no home anymore. When you pursue this feeling of restlessness, it may result in you desiring to change certain fundamentals about yourself.
Your personality may also express undertones of Uranus aspecting the Moon.
Soul
Truly ruling Ace of Diamonds.
Didn't change the home..but definitely at work.
I constantly changed jobs till in my late thirties.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Nine of Clubs - no more hands on volunteering
Jun 19 eve
This morning I knew I want to go to ashram. Tot I go with volunteer group.
Once I found out that volunteer plus special program takes 8 days immediately I start to reject it.
I knew its because my preference to be on my own time in ashram, being with Devi, dip in Teethakhoon, being in Dhynalinga, being with Vijii.
But then how to tell others that I want to go but not with them. This truly show I can't do volunteering. No more place to hide. Earlier I told them I can't go because of shifting house. Then tot of office work. But alas its because I truly not keen in volunteering. And when I go ashram I just want a quiet ashram. In the end that's me. Wanting nothing to happen.
During Sannidhi Pooja I knew I had to tell them. I really want to go ashram but in my own terms. I just want to be in comfort. Savouring ashram in my own time. I remember even Ayur Sampoorna I find that the schedule hectic no time for me to savour ashram.
Yes. Gather my courage and told my friends that I can't join them and I m planning a different trip.
Father this is me. Lack parameter. Forgot that I m not keen in volunteering and jump on board. But these days I jump out faster. Ready to acknowledge I made a mistake.
Wonder if this is the defence mechanism that is lacking in me and hence over active inner defence mechanism.
2014/15 Ruling
Pluto
Queen of Spades
Somehow connected to ur result card you are attempting to develop a sense of mastery from within, a greater level of organisational ability or both. Self mastery comes from inner knowledge and self control. It is knowing u can have everything u want, not by changing the world but by changing yourself.
U will have to work hard this year and possibly doing work that u find somewhat distasteful. Spades are work and the Queen using her work as karma yoga, a tool to purify her tots and emotions.
This is the goal u have set for urself and u must have good reason for why u want this. Keep this uppermost in ur mind as u progress through the year. U will no doubt have to make changes within and outside of urself to achieve this goal.
Affirmation
I develop my capacity to transform my life by changing my beliefs, ideas, and concepts of the world. I become the master of myself.
Result
Nine of Clubs
Much of ur challenges is to let go of outworn ideas, projects, plans or way of communicating. This is a year of completion that may at times seem like disappointing endings.
The Nine of Clubs says that u are completing a major chapter in ur life and it is time to move on to greener pastures.
Be open to spiritual wisdom in all forms, as this will help make change easier.
Affirmation
I complete projects this year and let go of the past. I broaden my understanding by releasing old ways of thinking.
Soul
Truly a year of ending.
Finally realised that it was me who made my life miserable. It was me who couldn't let go of validation.
Now I do what I truly want. Now I can also undo what I decided. I can make mistake. I tend to jump in out of enthusiasm. Now can jump back out.
Also it's okay I m not in the same mode as the rest in Isha. Isha main stay is volunteering but I m not. Can't do it. Just not me. Just as they are not into shrine. They not so into intense sadhana.
I m now sure of my path. No longer need to follow them or to judge them. All of us on our individual path and yet we can still be friends. True friends never part.
This morning I knew I want to go to ashram. Tot I go with volunteer group.
Once I found out that volunteer plus special program takes 8 days immediately I start to reject it.
I knew its because my preference to be on my own time in ashram, being with Devi, dip in Teethakhoon, being in Dhynalinga, being with Vijii.
But then how to tell others that I want to go but not with them. This truly show I can't do volunteering. No more place to hide. Earlier I told them I can't go because of shifting house. Then tot of office work. But alas its because I truly not keen in volunteering. And when I go ashram I just want a quiet ashram. In the end that's me. Wanting nothing to happen.
During Sannidhi Pooja I knew I had to tell them. I really want to go ashram but in my own terms. I just want to be in comfort. Savouring ashram in my own time. I remember even Ayur Sampoorna I find that the schedule hectic no time for me to savour ashram.
Yes. Gather my courage and told my friends that I can't join them and I m planning a different trip.
Father this is me. Lack parameter. Forgot that I m not keen in volunteering and jump on board. But these days I jump out faster. Ready to acknowledge I made a mistake.
Wonder if this is the defence mechanism that is lacking in me and hence over active inner defence mechanism.
2014/15 Ruling
Pluto
Queen of Spades
Somehow connected to ur result card you are attempting to develop a sense of mastery from within, a greater level of organisational ability or both. Self mastery comes from inner knowledge and self control. It is knowing u can have everything u want, not by changing the world but by changing yourself.
U will have to work hard this year and possibly doing work that u find somewhat distasteful. Spades are work and the Queen using her work as karma yoga, a tool to purify her tots and emotions.
This is the goal u have set for urself and u must have good reason for why u want this. Keep this uppermost in ur mind as u progress through the year. U will no doubt have to make changes within and outside of urself to achieve this goal.
Affirmation
I develop my capacity to transform my life by changing my beliefs, ideas, and concepts of the world. I become the master of myself.
Result
Nine of Clubs
Much of ur challenges is to let go of outworn ideas, projects, plans or way of communicating. This is a year of completion that may at times seem like disappointing endings.
The Nine of Clubs says that u are completing a major chapter in ur life and it is time to move on to greener pastures.
Be open to spiritual wisdom in all forms, as this will help make change easier.
Affirmation
I complete projects this year and let go of the past. I broaden my understanding by releasing old ways of thinking.
Soul
Truly a year of ending.
Finally realised that it was me who made my life miserable. It was me who couldn't let go of validation.
Now I do what I truly want. Now I can also undo what I decided. I can make mistake. I tend to jump in out of enthusiasm. Now can jump back out.
Also it's okay I m not in the same mode as the rest in Isha. Isha main stay is volunteering but I m not. Can't do it. Just not me. Just as they are not into shrine. They not so into intense sadhana.
I m now sure of my path. No longer need to follow them or to judge them. All of us on our individual path and yet we can still be friends. True friends never part.
Osho - Sorrow on RA
Jun 19 aft
Whats needed for resolution? Sorrow
This pain is not to make you sad, remember. That's where people go on missing.... This pain is just to make you more alert--because people become alert only when the arrow goes deep into their heart and wounds them. Otherwise they don't become alert.
When life is easy, comfortable, convenient, who cares? Who bothers to become alert? When a friend dies, there is a possibility. When your woman leaves you alone--those dark nights, you are lonely. You have loved that woman so much and you have staked all, and then suddenly one day she is gone. Crying in your loneliness, those are the occasions when, if you use them, you can become aware. The arrow is hurting: it can be used. The pain is not to make you miserable, the pain is to make you more aware! And when you are aware, misery disappears.
The image is of Ananda, the cousin and disciple of Gautam Buddha. He was at Buddha's side constantly, attending to his every need for forty-two years. When Buddha died, the story is told that Ananda was still at his side, weeping. The other disciples chastised him for his misunderstanding: Buddha had died absolutely fulfilled; he should be rejoicing. But Ananda said, "You misunderstand. I'm weeping not for him but for myself, because for all these years I have been constantly at his side but I have still not attained." Ananda stayed awake for the whole night, meditating deeply and feeling his pain and sorrow. By the morning, it is said, he was enlightened. Times of great sorrow have the potential to be times of great transformation. But in order for transformation to happen we must go deep, to the very roots of our pain, and experience it as it is, without blame or self-pity.
Soul
This time don't feel sad per se.
Can see that my body can't take RA and has to take steriods.
I see this as
There must be a away out for RA.
It is all about the immune system
Just as I took the inner journey to unravel my hidden consciousness that runs my life.
I will now undertake the journey on my immune system.
Since my conscious defense mechanism is not activated..it goes hidden and over activated my inner defense mechanism.
I am going to unravel my inner defense mechanism.
I can do it..
I have the ability to do it.
I have the inclination to do it
So many others are suffering...its time..
Whats needed for resolution? Sorrow
This pain is not to make you sad, remember. That's where people go on missing.... This pain is just to make you more alert--because people become alert only when the arrow goes deep into their heart and wounds them. Otherwise they don't become alert.
When life is easy, comfortable, convenient, who cares? Who bothers to become alert? When a friend dies, there is a possibility. When your woman leaves you alone--those dark nights, you are lonely. You have loved that woman so much and you have staked all, and then suddenly one day she is gone. Crying in your loneliness, those are the occasions when, if you use them, you can become aware. The arrow is hurting: it can be used. The pain is not to make you miserable, the pain is to make you more aware! And when you are aware, misery disappears.
The image is of Ananda, the cousin and disciple of Gautam Buddha. He was at Buddha's side constantly, attending to his every need for forty-two years. When Buddha died, the story is told that Ananda was still at his side, weeping. The other disciples chastised him for his misunderstanding: Buddha had died absolutely fulfilled; he should be rejoicing. But Ananda said, "You misunderstand. I'm weeping not for him but for myself, because for all these years I have been constantly at his side but I have still not attained." Ananda stayed awake for the whole night, meditating deeply and feeling his pain and sorrow. By the morning, it is said, he was enlightened. Times of great sorrow have the potential to be times of great transformation. But in order for transformation to happen we must go deep, to the very roots of our pain, and experience it as it is, without blame or self-pity.
Soul
This time don't feel sad per se.
Can see that my body can't take RA and has to take steriods.
I see this as
There must be a away out for RA.
It is all about the immune system
Just as I took the inner journey to unravel my hidden consciousness that runs my life.
I will now undertake the journey on my immune system.
Since my conscious defense mechanism is not activated..it goes hidden and over activated my inner defense mechanism.
I am going to unravel my inner defense mechanism.
I can do it..
I have the ability to do it.
I have the inclination to do it
So many others are suffering...its time..
Fear came..trying to run to Ashram
Jun 19
Woke up around 5 plus am but slept back..glad that I am off today.
woke up again bright light..wonder why no alarm. Checked by phone and it is 7.18 am and all my alarm was off due to phone reset.
Too late for Bhuta Shuddi.
Proceed to guru pooja..been a long time since I sang..still remember.
Cat stretch was okay..not much pain..the left thumb pain is gone. Will delay the steroids.
Angamardhana was good..the correction truly helps.
Now doing the lying down posture correctly.
Warrior sitting posture..i was laughing and singing..and comfortably sitting.
Able to blow out breathe on kundalini. Once I sat down, tears came non stop.
I just want to be in ashram..and thats when I knew I can go.
Its been more than one year..and with my RA acting up..it is time to go.
I want to get some surge..for my next year.
Surya Kriya was okay..able to do the lying down posture.
61 points awareness meditation is good.
Shakti is good..despite 100 count of KapalaBhakti cos I got appointment.
Shambavi is nice..
Just thankful I got the tools.
At ease knowing that I will be in ashram.
Aft
Just checked schedule...it be 8 days trip.
3 days of IE Retreat volunteering plus 3 day special program..6 days with 2 days travel.
Will miss my shrine....I am truly blessed to have the shrine with me.
But yes..will go to ashram.
Last June I went to ashram, last October got my Sannidhi and now its July..
Wonder how my experience in Ashram will be.
Woke up around 5 plus am but slept back..glad that I am off today.
woke up again bright light..wonder why no alarm. Checked by phone and it is 7.18 am and all my alarm was off due to phone reset.
Too late for Bhuta Shuddi.
Proceed to guru pooja..been a long time since I sang..still remember.
Cat stretch was okay..not much pain..the left thumb pain is gone. Will delay the steroids.
Angamardhana was good..the correction truly helps.
Now doing the lying down posture correctly.
Warrior sitting posture..i was laughing and singing..and comfortably sitting.
Able to blow out breathe on kundalini. Once I sat down, tears came non stop.
I just want to be in ashram..and thats when I knew I can go.
Its been more than one year..and with my RA acting up..it is time to go.
I want to get some surge..for my next year.
Surya Kriya was okay..able to do the lying down posture.
61 points awareness meditation is good.
Shakti is good..despite 100 count of KapalaBhakti cos I got appointment.
Shambavi is nice..
Just thankful I got the tools.
At ease knowing that I will be in ashram.
Aft
Just checked schedule...it be 8 days trip.
3 days of IE Retreat volunteering plus 3 day special program..6 days with 2 days travel.
Will miss my shrine....I am truly blessed to have the shrine with me.
But yes..will go to ashram.
Last June I went to ashram, last October got my Sannidhi and now its July..
Wonder how my experience in Ashram will be.
Growing up - sometimes need pain
Jun 18 eve
Sadhguru: “The solution is not in just containing it. The solution is in the transformation of the individual human being. Unfortunately, nobody is willing to invest any time or life to make this happen. Everybody wants an instant solution.
the first thing is willingness to invest time for your own transformation. Only if you are willing to invest time for your transformation, will you be willing to invest time for other people’s transformation, because you understand the value of what it is.
If you are not willing to invest time upon your own transformation, where is the question of doing anything for anybody’s transformation? If you do not know the value of what it is experientially you will never invest.
Investing in a spiritual possibility, a possibility beyond one’s physicality is the only ultimate answer. If you want long term benefits, you must make long term investments.”2
Soul
I look at myself. Why medicine can't work and now steroids? It's for me to find a solution. If it can be done, I am the best candidate.
If Arava still works, I wouldn't find solution to transform myself.
If my medication has minimal side effects I still continue same as old ways. But steroids is something I can't accept. Coz I know for sure it's not good for me.
My face has slowly gone back to its normal shape after nearly one and half week without steroids.
My two elbow is swelling. I have experienced this a few years ago. After ISHA swelling has stopped and it was a remission until
This pic from facebook says it all
Sadhguru: “The solution is not in just containing it. The solution is in the transformation of the individual human being. Unfortunately, nobody is willing to invest any time or life to make this happen. Everybody wants an instant solution.
the first thing is willingness to invest time for your own transformation. Only if you are willing to invest time for your transformation, will you be willing to invest time for other people’s transformation, because you understand the value of what it is.
If you are not willing to invest time upon your own transformation, where is the question of doing anything for anybody’s transformation? If you do not know the value of what it is experientially you will never invest.
Investing in a spiritual possibility, a possibility beyond one’s physicality is the only ultimate answer. If you want long term benefits, you must make long term investments.”2
Soul
I look at myself. Why medicine can't work and now steroids? It's for me to find a solution. If it can be done, I am the best candidate.
If Arava still works, I wouldn't find solution to transform myself.
If my medication has minimal side effects I still continue same as old ways. But steroids is something I can't accept. Coz I know for sure it's not good for me.
My face has slowly gone back to its normal shape after nearly one and half week without steroids.
My two elbow is swelling. I have experienced this a few years ago. After ISHA swelling has stopped and it was a remission until
This pic from facebook says it all
Osho card - Exhaustion
Jun 17 aft
This week Osho tarot card.
1. The Issue - Creativity
Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine. You become more divine as you become more creative. All the religions of the world have said God is the creator. I don't know whether he is the creator or not, but one thing I know: the more creative you become, the more godly you become. When your creativity comes to a climax, when your whole life becomes creative, you live in God. So he must be the creator because people who have been creative have been closest to him. Love what you do. Be meditative while you are doing it - whatsoever it is!
Soul
Not sure..earlier I tot it was the radio interview that i helped to connect and also the media write up.
But I wish it could be me supporting the RA people..more to show them there is a way out.
there is a way out of our suffering.
2.2. Internal influence that you are unaware
Compromise
The two figures on this card remind us of the sleazy and conspiratorial situations we can get into when we compromise our own truth. It is one thing to meet another halfway, to understand a point of view different from our own and work towards a harmony of the opposing forces. It is quite another to "cave in" and betray our own truth. If we look deeply into it, we usually find that we are trying to gain something--whether it is power or the approval of others. If you are tempted, beware: the rewards of this kind of compromise always leave a bitter taste in the mouth.
Soul
Now being very careful.
Cos I now will hold myself back when I am not sure.
No longer plunge ahead and ignoring my needs just because I want to save my validation...I want to belong.
3.3. External influences that you are aware
Exhaustion
A man who lives through conscience becomes hard. A man who lives through consciousness remains soft. Why?--because a man who has some ideas about how to live, naturally becomes hard. He has continuously to carry his character around himself. That character is like an armor; his protection, his security; his whole life is invested in that character. And he always reacts to situations through the character, not directly. If you ask him a question, his answer is ready-made. That is the sign of a hard person--he is dull, stupid, mechanical. He may be a good computer, but he is not a man. You do something and he reacts in a well- established way. His reaction is predictable; he is a robot. The real man acts spontaneously. If you ask him a question, your question gets a response, not a reaction. He opens his heart to your question, exposes himself to your question, responds to it....
This is the portrait of one whose whole life energy has been depleted in his efforts to keep fueling the enormous and ridiculous machine of self-importance and productivity. He has been so busy "keeping it all together" and "making sure everything runs smoothly", that he has forgotten to really rest. No doubt he can't allow himself to be playful. To abandon his duty for a trip to the beach could mean the whole structure might come tumbling down. The message of this card is not just about being a workaholic, though. It is about all the ways in which we set up safe but unnatural routines for ourselves and, by doing so, keep the chaotic and spontaneous away from our doors. Life isn't a business to be managed, it's a mystery to be lived. It's time to tear up the time-card, break out of the factory, and take a little trip into the uncharted. Your work can flow more smoothly from a relaxed state of mind.
Soul
This week I am tired.
Maybe the menses..not sure.
But just want to be on my own..doing my sadhana..my writing.
Just want to chill out.
4.4. Whats needed for resolution?
Sorrow
This pain is not to make you sad, remember. That's where people go on missing.... This pain is just to make you more alert--because people become alert only when the arrow goes deep into their heart and wounds them. Otherwise they don't become alert. When life is easy, comfortable, convenient, who cares? Who bothers to become alert? When a friend dies, there is a possibility. When your woman leaves you alone--those dark nights, you are lonely. You have loved that woman so much and you have staked all, and then suddenly one day she is gone. Crying in your loneliness, those are the occasions when, if you use them, you can become aware. The arrow is hurting: it can be used.The pain is not to make you miserable, the pain is to make you more aware! And when you are aware, misery disappears
. Times of great sorrow have the potential to be times of great transformation. But in order for transformation to happen we must go deep, to the very roots of our pain, and experience it as it is, without blame or self-pity.
5. Resolution
Nothing-ness
Buddha has chosen one of the really very potential words - shunyata. The English word, the English equivalent, "nothingness", is not such a beautiful word. That's why I would like to make it "no-thingness" - because the nothing is not just nothing, it is all. It is vibrant with all possibilities. It is potential, absolute potential. It is unmanifest yet, but it contains all. In the beginning is nature, in the end is nature, so why in the middle do you make so much fuss? Why, in the middle, becoming so worried, so anxious, so ambitious - why create such despair? Nothingness to nothingness is the whole journey.
Being "in the gap" can be disorienting and even scary. Nothing to hold on to, no sense of direction, not even a hint of what choices and possibilities might lie ahead. But it was just this state of pure potential that existed before the universe was created. All you can do now is to relax into this no-thingness...fall into this silence between the words...watch this gap between the outgoing and incoming breath. And treasure each empty moment of the experience. Something sacred is about to be born.
Soul
True..I don't know if me stopping medication will work.
But I have faith that it will.
I will only know when the blood test in one month time.
I have been doing sadhana for the past 7 years..it is time.
Also feeling bit scared that I am finally shifting out on my own.
But I am also looking forward..and I know I be safe with the Shrine, with my sannidhi..
And Devi is now with me...
This week Osho tarot card.
1. The Issue - Creativity
Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine. You become more divine as you become more creative. All the religions of the world have said God is the creator. I don't know whether he is the creator or not, but one thing I know: the more creative you become, the more godly you become. When your creativity comes to a climax, when your whole life becomes creative, you live in God. So he must be the creator because people who have been creative have been closest to him. Love what you do. Be meditative while you are doing it - whatsoever it is!
Soul
Not sure..earlier I tot it was the radio interview that i helped to connect and also the media write up.
But I wish it could be me supporting the RA people..more to show them there is a way out.
there is a way out of our suffering.
2.2. Internal influence that you are unaware
Compromise
The two figures on this card remind us of the sleazy and conspiratorial situations we can get into when we compromise our own truth. It is one thing to meet another halfway, to understand a point of view different from our own and work towards a harmony of the opposing forces. It is quite another to "cave in" and betray our own truth. If we look deeply into it, we usually find that we are trying to gain something--whether it is power or the approval of others. If you are tempted, beware: the rewards of this kind of compromise always leave a bitter taste in the mouth.
Soul
Now being very careful.
Cos I now will hold myself back when I am not sure.
No longer plunge ahead and ignoring my needs just because I want to save my validation...I want to belong.
3.3. External influences that you are aware
Exhaustion
A man who lives through conscience becomes hard. A man who lives through consciousness remains soft. Why?--because a man who has some ideas about how to live, naturally becomes hard. He has continuously to carry his character around himself. That character is like an armor; his protection, his security; his whole life is invested in that character. And he always reacts to situations through the character, not directly. If you ask him a question, his answer is ready-made. That is the sign of a hard person--he is dull, stupid, mechanical. He may be a good computer, but he is not a man. You do something and he reacts in a well- established way. His reaction is predictable; he is a robot. The real man acts spontaneously. If you ask him a question, your question gets a response, not a reaction. He opens his heart to your question, exposes himself to your question, responds to it....
This is the portrait of one whose whole life energy has been depleted in his efforts to keep fueling the enormous and ridiculous machine of self-importance and productivity. He has been so busy "keeping it all together" and "making sure everything runs smoothly", that he has forgotten to really rest. No doubt he can't allow himself to be playful. To abandon his duty for a trip to the beach could mean the whole structure might come tumbling down. The message of this card is not just about being a workaholic, though. It is about all the ways in which we set up safe but unnatural routines for ourselves and, by doing so, keep the chaotic and spontaneous away from our doors. Life isn't a business to be managed, it's a mystery to be lived. It's time to tear up the time-card, break out of the factory, and take a little trip into the uncharted. Your work can flow more smoothly from a relaxed state of mind.
Soul
This week I am tired.
Maybe the menses..not sure.
But just want to be on my own..doing my sadhana..my writing.
Just want to chill out.
4.4. Whats needed for resolution?
Sorrow
This pain is not to make you sad, remember. That's where people go on missing.... This pain is just to make you more alert--because people become alert only when the arrow goes deep into their heart and wounds them. Otherwise they don't become alert. When life is easy, comfortable, convenient, who cares? Who bothers to become alert? When a friend dies, there is a possibility. When your woman leaves you alone--those dark nights, you are lonely. You have loved that woman so much and you have staked all, and then suddenly one day she is gone. Crying in your loneliness, those are the occasions when, if you use them, you can become aware. The arrow is hurting: it can be used.The pain is not to make you miserable, the pain is to make you more aware! And when you are aware, misery disappears
. Times of great sorrow have the potential to be times of great transformation. But in order for transformation to happen we must go deep, to the very roots of our pain, and experience it as it is, without blame or self-pity.
5. Resolution
Nothing-ness
Buddha has chosen one of the really very potential words - shunyata. The English word, the English equivalent, "nothingness", is not such a beautiful word. That's why I would like to make it "no-thingness" - because the nothing is not just nothing, it is all. It is vibrant with all possibilities. It is potential, absolute potential. It is unmanifest yet, but it contains all. In the beginning is nature, in the end is nature, so why in the middle do you make so much fuss? Why, in the middle, becoming so worried, so anxious, so ambitious - why create such despair? Nothingness to nothingness is the whole journey.
Being "in the gap" can be disorienting and even scary. Nothing to hold on to, no sense of direction, not even a hint of what choices and possibilities might lie ahead. But it was just this state of pure potential that existed before the universe was created. All you can do now is to relax into this no-thingness...fall into this silence between the words...watch this gap between the outgoing and incoming breath. And treasure each empty moment of the experience. Something sacred is about to be born.
Soul
True..I don't know if me stopping medication will work.
But I have faith that it will.
I will only know when the blood test in one month time.
I have been doing sadhana for the past 7 years..it is time.
Also feeling bit scared that I am finally shifting out on my own.
But I am also looking forward..and I know I be safe with the Shrine, with my sannidhi..
And Devi is now with me...
RA changing my life...
Jun 17
Woke up at 7 am...feeling bit tired ...must be the unexpected heavy menses.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followe by Surya Kriya preparatory steps. During cat stretch, left palm was hurting and I talked to it to relax, pain reduced. Right elbow pain has reduced much. Guess okay without the medication.
Was able to do the lying down posture in Surya Kriya after nearly 2 weeks. There was slight pain but can still do it.
61 point awareness meditation is good
Yogaasanas was nice..I actually find doing yogaasanas in my house easier than doing in the yoga studio recently. Especially those lying down posture.
During the sitting posture, feel such joy..feeling blissful and tears rolled due to overwhelming gratitude to Sadhguru.
This bliss is in me.
I now have more faith I will be cured of RA. It is all about making me feel safe..instead of always pushing the boundary.
Today there is volunteer meeting but not keen to go cos I am not working today and I just want to do my Sannidhi pooja.
Checked out the RA support group FB, truly much pain..much medication and all with side effects. Instead of turning to medicine..time to turn inward.
I have faith that RA can be healed. I will continue with my sadhana with more focus on Isha Hata Yoga.
I have always said that Hata Yoga will be last..and looks like it is so.
Now doing Angamardhana and Yogaasanas..going good..
Now getting the lying down postures of Angamardhana corrected.
Its funny..always tot me not physicall..but I am sexual..and now that part is not here..just focus on physical. I always feel that doing Yogaasanas is like making love to your body...so satisfying..
Father..I truly believed RA can be healed. It is actually us suppressing our fear and letting our body defend and fight inside us..instead of letting the fear come out so we can be aware and defend ourselves in the outside world.
Neem and tumeric..I resisted much.
And now I am taking it daily as medication for RA.
What I resist was good for me..and in the end i Love it.
These last 3 days I even put more water to drink off the remnants
Just like Isha Hata Yoga..I resisted but now I love it..
To me that is breaking my limits..
Woke up at 7 am...feeling bit tired ...must be the unexpected heavy menses.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followe by Surya Kriya preparatory steps. During cat stretch, left palm was hurting and I talked to it to relax, pain reduced. Right elbow pain has reduced much. Guess okay without the medication.
Was able to do the lying down posture in Surya Kriya after nearly 2 weeks. There was slight pain but can still do it.
61 point awareness meditation is good
Yogaasanas was nice..I actually find doing yogaasanas in my house easier than doing in the yoga studio recently. Especially those lying down posture.
During the sitting posture, feel such joy..feeling blissful and tears rolled due to overwhelming gratitude to Sadhguru.
This bliss is in me.
I now have more faith I will be cured of RA. It is all about making me feel safe..instead of always pushing the boundary.
Today there is volunteer meeting but not keen to go cos I am not working today and I just want to do my Sannidhi pooja.
Checked out the RA support group FB, truly much pain..much medication and all with side effects. Instead of turning to medicine..time to turn inward.
I have faith that RA can be healed. I will continue with my sadhana with more focus on Isha Hata Yoga.
I have always said that Hata Yoga will be last..and looks like it is so.
Now doing Angamardhana and Yogaasanas..going good..
Now getting the lying down postures of Angamardhana corrected.
Its funny..always tot me not physicall..but I am sexual..and now that part is not here..just focus on physical. I always feel that doing Yogaasanas is like making love to your body...so satisfying..
Father..I truly believed RA can be healed. It is actually us suppressing our fear and letting our body defend and fight inside us..instead of letting the fear come out so we can be aware and defend ourselves in the outside world.
Neem and tumeric..I resisted much.
And now I am taking it daily as medication for RA.
What I resist was good for me..and in the end i Love it.
These last 3 days I even put more water to drink off the remnants
Just like Isha Hata Yoga..I resisted but now I love it..
To me that is breaking my limits..
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Awesome Angamardhana
Jun 16 eve
Menses came early. Last period was one month late. Guess this us premenopausal symptoms.
It has been more than one week since I took steroid. So far have taken 3 pills. Will keep record. Don't want to take. Body just said no. There are still some joints pain but I think having steroid won't lessen it.
Today Angamardhana was awesome. Now getting correction on the sitting posture and lying down. Today the warrior posture was amazing. Suddenly going into such overwhelming joy. The joy arises from the heart. It's not the normal joy from lower diaphragm.
This is from the heart. Pure unadulterated joy. So joyful that it feels like bliss and tears fall out of gratitude. Amen.
Menses came early. Last period was one month late. Guess this us premenopausal symptoms.
It has been more than one week since I took steroid. So far have taken 3 pills. Will keep record. Don't want to take. Body just said no. There are still some joints pain but I think having steroid won't lessen it.
Today Angamardhana was awesome. Now getting correction on the sitting posture and lying down. Today the warrior posture was amazing. Suddenly going into such overwhelming joy. The joy arises from the heart. It's not the normal joy from lower diaphragm.
This is from the heart. Pure unadulterated joy. So joyful that it feels like bliss and tears fall out of gratitude. Amen.
Fear is back
Jun 15
My fear. My high auto immune is activated due to fear.
Perhaps instead of fear inside the body. Now fear coming out in water.
After Kailash I can't swim. All my old fear of water came back
Did my Sannidhi Pooja. Silence during guru song. During Brahmananda don't feel like chanting. At a point suddenly all my ailments after Kailash make sense. What was inside now expressed. I cried and calmness came.
I be fine.
Another one and half month I be on my own. May cook my own dinner. May finally start on salad.
They put me on coordinator group chat. They asked for help. I no longer compel to do. No more burden.
Just now after Sannidhi Pooja and Devi chanting I feel my shoulder blades lighter.
Must be the Neck practices that I been doing for past 2 days. Will continue.
My fear. My high auto immune is activated due to fear.
Perhaps instead of fear inside the body. Now fear coming out in water.
After Kailash I can't swim. All my old fear of water came back
Did my Sannidhi Pooja. Silence during guru song. During Brahmananda don't feel like chanting. At a point suddenly all my ailments after Kailash make sense. What was inside now expressed. I cried and calmness came.
I be fine.
Another one and half month I be on my own. May cook my own dinner. May finally start on salad.
They put me on coordinator group chat. They asked for help. I no longer compel to do. No more burden.
Just now after Sannidhi Pooja and Devi chanting I feel my shoulder blades lighter.
Must be the Neck practices that I been doing for past 2 days. Will continue.
Learning to let Universe decide
June 12
Woke up at 7 am..body quite okay
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by Surya Kriya preparatory steps.
Did one cycle of Surya Kriya, can't do the lying down posture.
Yogaasanas was good..better than yesterday...body likes it.
Breathing was nice...
Shakti..quite okay..tots coming in on whether timber or not...whether laminate or engineered timber...whether medium or dark colour..cos the medium colour look too rustic..the light colour looks good but difficult to maintain..and the very dark colour too dark but classy/
Then I just said whatever will be will be.
All these tots flowing in..and I just said..what will be will be..
Shambavi was fine too..
Went to the Timber guy...he only got one engineered timber that is remaining stocks..and it is in dark tone..but more brownish rather than black effect..and I like it.
We went through the rest..but all is new stocks means no special discount..and is above my budget.
So the ID turn to me and said the colour while darker is nice..and I said I too like it..cos it look high end..
My prayer answered...what will be will be.
The truth is I was undecided on the colour..and I now got the perfect classy colour I want...
With the flooring selected...then the paint on the wall is just nice white..
same colour for the room too..and feature wall slight grey colour..
the cabinets also white..
The kitchen cabinet light grey..
Renovation made simple...
Woke up at 7 am..body quite okay
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by Surya Kriya preparatory steps.
Did one cycle of Surya Kriya, can't do the lying down posture.
Yogaasanas was good..better than yesterday...body likes it.
Breathing was nice...
Shakti..quite okay..tots coming in on whether timber or not...whether laminate or engineered timber...whether medium or dark colour..cos the medium colour look too rustic..the light colour looks good but difficult to maintain..and the very dark colour too dark but classy/
Then I just said whatever will be will be.
All these tots flowing in..and I just said..what will be will be..
Shambavi was fine too..
Went to the Timber guy...he only got one engineered timber that is remaining stocks..and it is in dark tone..but more brownish rather than black effect..and I like it.
We went through the rest..but all is new stocks means no special discount..and is above my budget.
So the ID turn to me and said the colour while darker is nice..and I said I too like it..cos it look high end..
My prayer answered...what will be will be.
The truth is I was undecided on the colour..and I now got the perfect classy colour I want...
With the flooring selected...then the paint on the wall is just nice white..
same colour for the room too..and feature wall slight grey colour..
the cabinets also white..
The kitchen cabinet light grey..
Renovation made simple...
Destiny card all materialised
Jun 13
Woke up at 6.45 am. Don't want to wake up as weather is nice and cool. In the end woke up at 7 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by Surya Kriya preparatory steps. Couldn't do the lying down posture. My right elbow pain has reduced but left shoulder still stiff
Didn't do breathing cos no time.
Shakti was good.
Shambavi was okay.
Went to the pool. Forgot to do Brahmananda chanting.
Still afraid of water. Couldn't do breast stroke. Free style only for short distance. Towards the end body loosening up.
No judgement. Just let it be.
Many events going on in local Isha but I m no longer drawn into it. I no longer need to join just to be in the group, to keep the validation. Finally okay with being true to myself. No longer clamouring for validation.
Two more weeks to my year end 2014/2015.
Ruling
Result
Nine of Clubs
Much of ur challenges is to let go of outworn ideas, projects, plans or way of communicating. This is a year of completion that may at times seem like disappointing endings.
The Nine of Clubs says that u are completing a major chapter in ur life and it is time to move on to greener pastures.
Be open to spiritual wisdom in all forms, as this will help make change easier.
Affirmation
I complete projects this year and let go of the past. I broaden my understanding by releasing old ways of thinking.
Soul
Yes. I truly ended my adopted value in volunteering in Isha. I know now it is not in my sadhana. It is not my calling.
And finally okay that all our path is different. Our close group of local Isha friend all found their path. Most of them on volunteering, some being Hata yoga teacher..I am fine with that.
When I am okay with myself..i am okay with others
Destiny
Pluto
Eight of Diamonds
This year one of ur main goals will be that of creating more money in ur life. U are desiring to have the power to make some purchases that are important to u. To acquire this power, u will have to change ur behaviour and possibly ur attitudes about money.
This card indicates that u need a fixed and determined set of values. That is, u need to get perfectly clear about what u want and why u want it. Once u are clear about what u want, then u can devote urself to a single-minded pursuit of those financial goal. This kind of dedication always brings success, but since this is the Pluto card, it is likely that acquiring these qualities will be challenging will be challenging at times and cause u to make fundamental changes in the way u approach money, work and finances.
Ur result card will tell u more about this financial power u seek or will point to a person in ur life who is closely connected to it.
Affirmation
I create the financial prosperity to purchase the thing that I want and deserve. I focus all my values into one powerful stream of "wealth energy".
Soul
Bought myself a new condo.
Result
Two of Diamonds
The net result of one of ur important goals is likely to be successful financial partnership and arrangements.
Ur Pluto card will tell u more about this or tell u who, in particular u are joining forces with.
Taking advantage of other people's help may cause u to go through some changes this year. However, cooperation is the key to ur success and all business deals will have to be a "Win-Win" so that u and all others profit from them.
Affirmation
I create successful financial deals and partnership. I end this year connected to others in a financial way.
Soul
New condo purchased via housing loan.
Woke up at 6.45 am. Don't want to wake up as weather is nice and cool. In the end woke up at 7 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by Surya Kriya preparatory steps. Couldn't do the lying down posture. My right elbow pain has reduced but left shoulder still stiff
Didn't do breathing cos no time.
Shakti was good.
Shambavi was okay.
Went to the pool. Forgot to do Brahmananda chanting.
Still afraid of water. Couldn't do breast stroke. Free style only for short distance. Towards the end body loosening up.
No judgement. Just let it be.
Many events going on in local Isha but I m no longer drawn into it. I no longer need to join just to be in the group, to keep the validation. Finally okay with being true to myself. No longer clamouring for validation.
Two more weeks to my year end 2014/2015.
Ruling
Result
Nine of Clubs
Much of ur challenges is to let go of outworn ideas, projects, plans or way of communicating. This is a year of completion that may at times seem like disappointing endings.
The Nine of Clubs says that u are completing a major chapter in ur life and it is time to move on to greener pastures.
Be open to spiritual wisdom in all forms, as this will help make change easier.
Affirmation
I complete projects this year and let go of the past. I broaden my understanding by releasing old ways of thinking.
Soul
Yes. I truly ended my adopted value in volunteering in Isha. I know now it is not in my sadhana. It is not my calling.
And finally okay that all our path is different. Our close group of local Isha friend all found their path. Most of them on volunteering, some being Hata yoga teacher..I am fine with that.
When I am okay with myself..i am okay with others
Destiny
Pluto
Eight of Diamonds
This year one of ur main goals will be that of creating more money in ur life. U are desiring to have the power to make some purchases that are important to u. To acquire this power, u will have to change ur behaviour and possibly ur attitudes about money.
This card indicates that u need a fixed and determined set of values. That is, u need to get perfectly clear about what u want and why u want it. Once u are clear about what u want, then u can devote urself to a single-minded pursuit of those financial goal. This kind of dedication always brings success, but since this is the Pluto card, it is likely that acquiring these qualities will be challenging will be challenging at times and cause u to make fundamental changes in the way u approach money, work and finances.
Ur result card will tell u more about this financial power u seek or will point to a person in ur life who is closely connected to it.
Affirmation
I create the financial prosperity to purchase the thing that I want and deserve. I focus all my values into one powerful stream of "wealth energy".
Soul
Bought myself a new condo.
Result
Two of Diamonds
The net result of one of ur important goals is likely to be successful financial partnership and arrangements.
Ur Pluto card will tell u more about this or tell u who, in particular u are joining forces with.
Taking advantage of other people's help may cause u to go through some changes this year. However, cooperation is the key to ur success and all business deals will have to be a "Win-Win" so that u and all others profit from them.
Affirmation
I create successful financial deals and partnership. I end this year connected to others in a financial way.
Soul
New condo purchased via housing loan.
Sadhguru - being happy first step
Jun 10 eve
Sadhguru
Only if u are happy, some other greater possibilities can arise in ur life. People who are miserable and they want to meditate. It will never happen.
If you are happy, very easily we can make u meditative.
If u are miserable person, meditation will never happen because such a person is always seeking a solution. A miserable person can never pray; he can only beg and complain
Soul
Wow.
Sadhguru
Only if u are happy, some other greater possibilities can arise in ur life. People who are miserable and they want to meditate. It will never happen.
If you are happy, very easily we can make u meditative.
If u are miserable person, meditation will never happen because such a person is always seeking a solution. A miserable person can never pray; he can only beg and complain
Soul
Wow.
Insecurity with money
June 9
Woke up feeling tired and decided to skip hata yoga as I got Angamardhana guided practice today.
Yesterday night didn't sit with shrine nor take tumeric. Can see the difference.
Energy is down.
My right elbow is painful,swell much that I can't even touch my throat to put vibhuthi.
It's been a long time since I faced such pain. I recalled even those years with regular Arava medication my elbow was swelling too.
Yesterday evening and This morning while doing Shakti can see tots coming in. I m truly Three in Mercury.
Tots of no empty car park for guests. No one can come to my condo.
Tots of having to pay monthly maintenance.
Tots of my condo's flooring bit drab.
I then tell myself that I have money and can afford to pay the monthly maintenance and change into timber flooring.
As for car park it's okay. It's more important that my place is lovely.
The night view is lovely. The pool looks good and well maintained.
These two weeks Shoonya not great. Couldn't get in quickly or deeply. Just now even tot I fall.
Jun 9 eve
Just finished guided Angamardhana practice. I learned some corrections. Today for the first time my sitting asanas with both leg up straight hold for so long effortlessly.
Didn't do the jumping cos right elbow pain.
During the Shavasana I find myself talking to my blood cell. Telling them I m safe and they need not be on defensive. Also told the joints to ease up. Pain lessen.Was pondering whether to take the steroid but decided against it as I have faced such swelling before a few years ago.
Woke up feeling tired and decided to skip hata yoga as I got Angamardhana guided practice today.
Yesterday night didn't sit with shrine nor take tumeric. Can see the difference.
Energy is down.
My right elbow is painful,swell much that I can't even touch my throat to put vibhuthi.
It's been a long time since I faced such pain. I recalled even those years with regular Arava medication my elbow was swelling too.
Yesterday evening and This morning while doing Shakti can see tots coming in. I m truly Three in Mercury.
Tots of no empty car park for guests. No one can come to my condo.
Tots of having to pay monthly maintenance.
Tots of my condo's flooring bit drab.
I then tell myself that I have money and can afford to pay the monthly maintenance and change into timber flooring.
As for car park it's okay. It's more important that my place is lovely.
The night view is lovely. The pool looks good and well maintained.
These two weeks Shoonya not great. Couldn't get in quickly or deeply. Just now even tot I fall.
Jun 9 eve
Just finished guided Angamardhana practice. I learned some corrections. Today for the first time my sitting asanas with both leg up straight hold for so long effortlessly.
Didn't do the jumping cos right elbow pain.
During the Shavasana I find myself talking to my blood cell. Telling them I m safe and they need not be on defensive. Also told the joints to ease up. Pain lessen.Was pondering whether to take the steroid but decided against it as I have faced such swelling before a few years ago.
Spiritual health - boundary
Jin 8 aft
From Facebook
http://spiritualityhealth.com/articles/keeping-healthy-boundaries/page/0/1
Put plainly, boundaries are the line between where I end and you begin. Healthy boundaries define who we are in relation to others. They also help us to know what the extents and limits are with others.
Personal boundaries are how we teach people who we are and how we would like to be handled in relationships. Boundaries help you to say, “This is who I am.”
Good personal boundaries protect you. Without them life feels scary and you may feel anxious. Having a sense of boundaries and limits also helps you to connect with your true self. They are based on your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, decisions, choices, wants, needs, and intuitions. They are clear, firm, maintained, and sometimes flexible.
Ultimately, when you don’t protect or overprotect your boundaries, your needs go unmet, which can lead to anxiety or compulsive behaviors such as overeating, addictions, or working too much.
Setting healthy boundaries allows you to connect with yourself, your emotions and your needs. It allows you to feel safe, to relax and to feel empowered to care for yourself.
Loose Boundaries Lead to Emotional Drain
When boundaries are loose, you may easily take on the emotions and needs of others. There is a little sense of a separate self and you may experience difficulty identifying your own emotions and needs.
People with loose boundaries often are hypersensitive to others’ comments and criticisms.
Common signs of loose boundaries include overinvolvement in others’ lives; perfectionism and people pleasing; trying to fix and control others with judgments and advice; staying in unhealthy relationships; taking on too much work or too many commitments; and avoiding being alone too much.
When your boundaries are too loose you can feel responsible for everything and everyone, powerless, imposed upon, and resentful.
Unconsciously, loose boundaries may represent your own need for caretaking. Ultimately, however, they disconnect you from yourself as you’re not connected with your own emotions and needs. The disconnection can lead to compulsive behaviors such as overeating and working too much.
Soul
Mine seems to be loose..hence RA.
Here are some signs that your boundaries need adjusting:
Feel unable to say no
Feel responsible for others’ emotions
Concerned about what others think to the point of discounting your own thoughts, opinions and intuition
Your energy is so drained by something that you neglect your own needs (including the need for food, rest, etc.)
People-pleasing
Avoiding intimate relationships
Inability to make decisions
Believe your happiness depends on others
Take care of others’ needs, but not your own
Others’ opinions are more important than your own
Have difficulty asking for what you want or need
Go along with others vs. with what you want
Feel anxious or afraid
Not sure what you really feel
Take on moods or emotions of others around you
Overly sensitive to criticism
Soul
Especially in personal or group rship in Isha, not sure how I feel is quite common. Resentment is quite common too due to unconscious suppression.
How to Set Effective Boundaries
Know yourself. This means knowing your innermost thoughts, beliefs, feelings, choices, and experiences. It also means knowing and connecting with your needs, feelings and physical sensations. Without knowing your true self, you can’t really know your limits and needs, i.e., your boundaries. This will also help you to more clearly define
Stay out of judgment. Practice having healthy compassion for others without the need to “fix” them.
Let go of judgment about yourself. Easier said than done, but start practicing compassion and acceptance. When you can accept yourself for who you are, there is less need to hide your true self.
A more positive inner world can help you feel safe with vulnerability. Connect with the voice of someone loving and nurturing and imagine what he or she would say to you in this moment instead.
Accept the truth in what others say and leave the rest. Feel what you feel and don’t take responsibility for or take on the emotions of others. Give back their feelings, thoughts and expectations.
Practice openness. Be willing to listen to others about how your behavior impacts them.
Watch out for black and white thinking. Do you have difficulty saying no? Try, “let me think about it and get back to you.” Do you have to do x, y, or z or else? Try to find the middle ground.
Pay attention to activities and people who drain you and those who energize you. Protect yourself by saying no to those who drain you or finding ways to reduce them through delegating, setting limits, or lowering perfectionistic standards. Add more energizing activities to your day instead.
Pause.When you feel the urge to ( insert compulsion here ), stop and check in with yourself. What are you feeling? Can you allow that feeling to be present without acting on it for the moment? What do you need? Dig deep and see what comes up for you. Take five or 10 deep breaths if need be, focusing on exhaling completely.
Get clear on what you value and desire. What do you really want or long for? What is truly important to you in your life? Get clear on your most important values. Use your values to guide your decisions vs. others’ opinions or expectations. Use this to help you find what is missing from your life.
http://spiritualityhealth.com/articles/keeping-healthy-boundaries/page/0/1
From Facebook
http://spiritualityhealth.com/articles/keeping-healthy-boundaries/page/0/1
Put plainly, boundaries are the line between where I end and you begin. Healthy boundaries define who we are in relation to others. They also help us to know what the extents and limits are with others.
Personal boundaries are how we teach people who we are and how we would like to be handled in relationships. Boundaries help you to say, “This is who I am.”
Good personal boundaries protect you. Without them life feels scary and you may feel anxious. Having a sense of boundaries and limits also helps you to connect with your true self. They are based on your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, decisions, choices, wants, needs, and intuitions. They are clear, firm, maintained, and sometimes flexible.
Ultimately, when you don’t protect or overprotect your boundaries, your needs go unmet, which can lead to anxiety or compulsive behaviors such as overeating, addictions, or working too much.
Setting healthy boundaries allows you to connect with yourself, your emotions and your needs. It allows you to feel safe, to relax and to feel empowered to care for yourself.
Loose Boundaries Lead to Emotional Drain
When boundaries are loose, you may easily take on the emotions and needs of others. There is a little sense of a separate self and you may experience difficulty identifying your own emotions and needs.
People with loose boundaries often are hypersensitive to others’ comments and criticisms.
Common signs of loose boundaries include overinvolvement in others’ lives; perfectionism and people pleasing; trying to fix and control others with judgments and advice; staying in unhealthy relationships; taking on too much work or too many commitments; and avoiding being alone too much.
When your boundaries are too loose you can feel responsible for everything and everyone, powerless, imposed upon, and resentful.
Unconsciously, loose boundaries may represent your own need for caretaking. Ultimately, however, they disconnect you from yourself as you’re not connected with your own emotions and needs. The disconnection can lead to compulsive behaviors such as overeating and working too much.
Soul
Mine seems to be loose..hence RA.
Here are some signs that your boundaries need adjusting:
Feel unable to say no
Feel responsible for others’ emotions
Concerned about what others think to the point of discounting your own thoughts, opinions and intuition
Your energy is so drained by something that you neglect your own needs (including the need for food, rest, etc.)
People-pleasing
Avoiding intimate relationships
Inability to make decisions
Believe your happiness depends on others
Take care of others’ needs, but not your own
Others’ opinions are more important than your own
Have difficulty asking for what you want or need
Go along with others vs. with what you want
Feel anxious or afraid
Not sure what you really feel
Take on moods or emotions of others around you
Overly sensitive to criticism
Soul
Especially in personal or group rship in Isha, not sure how I feel is quite common. Resentment is quite common too due to unconscious suppression.
How to Set Effective Boundaries
Know yourself. This means knowing your innermost thoughts, beliefs, feelings, choices, and experiences. It also means knowing and connecting with your needs, feelings and physical sensations. Without knowing your true self, you can’t really know your limits and needs, i.e., your boundaries. This will also help you to more clearly define
Stay out of judgment. Practice having healthy compassion for others without the need to “fix” them.
Let go of judgment about yourself. Easier said than done, but start practicing compassion and acceptance. When you can accept yourself for who you are, there is less need to hide your true self.
A more positive inner world can help you feel safe with vulnerability. Connect with the voice of someone loving and nurturing and imagine what he or she would say to you in this moment instead.
Accept the truth in what others say and leave the rest. Feel what you feel and don’t take responsibility for or take on the emotions of others. Give back their feelings, thoughts and expectations.
Practice openness. Be willing to listen to others about how your behavior impacts them.
Watch out for black and white thinking. Do you have difficulty saying no? Try, “let me think about it and get back to you.” Do you have to do x, y, or z or else? Try to find the middle ground.
Pay attention to activities and people who drain you and those who energize you. Protect yourself by saying no to those who drain you or finding ways to reduce them through delegating, setting limits, or lowering perfectionistic standards. Add more energizing activities to your day instead.
Pause.When you feel the urge to ( insert compulsion here ), stop and check in with yourself. What are you feeling? Can you allow that feeling to be present without acting on it for the moment? What do you need? Dig deep and see what comes up for you. Take five or 10 deep breaths if need be, focusing on exhaling completely.
Get clear on what you value and desire. What do you really want or long for? What is truly important to you in your life? Get clear on your most important values. Use your values to guide your decisions vs. others’ opinions or expectations. Use this to help you find what is missing from your life.
http://spiritualityhealth.com/articles/keeping-healthy-boundaries/page/0/1
Trust...doesn't come easy for me
Jun 8
Woke up from a dream. Today not doing Hata cos has to be early at office.
My feet swelling and the magnetic house sandals helps.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by Surya Kriya preparatory. One cycle of Surya Kriya but not able to hold 7 breathe cos right elbow is swelling. Feet alignment not good cos left shoulder also swelling.
61 points awareness meditation not great.
Breathing was nice.
Shakti was okay but my left feet was cramped and pain came. I had to rest my feet at every Kapala Bhakti. Did maintain slow Kapala for first and second cycle. Third cycle was a bit lost.
Surprising singing at the end of Shakti.
Shambavi was good. Singing at the end. Wish I could sat longer but alarm rang.
While driving has sexual tot of Z. I waived it off as karmic past. When body pain came, I be on the lookout for sympathy.
Just has breakfast. Ordered milk tea. But couldn't drink. Just took a few sip. Body rejects. These days either I am becoming more aware of my body or my body is getting sensitive.
I think it is the knowledge and experience that milk is bad for me; to drink is foolish..it is not sensible
Osho
Surrender simply means trust, relaxing. It us an attitude rather than an act.
U swim in water. U trust water. A good swimmer trusts so much that he almost become one with the river. He is not fighting, he does not grab the water. he is not stiff and tense.
If u are stiff and tense, u will be drowned; if u are relaxed, the river takes care.
Soul
With yesterday fear of water. I m still far off. But no longer judge myself. I can just continue with my sadhana for swim.
Osho
Trust me and u r not fighting; surrender means that u don't think of life as the enemy but as the friend. Once u trust the river, suddenly u start enjoying. Tremendous delight arises: splashing, swimming or just floating.
Soul
I experienced some of this before.
Woke up from a dream. Today not doing Hata cos has to be early at office.
My feet swelling and the magnetic house sandals helps.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by Surya Kriya preparatory. One cycle of Surya Kriya but not able to hold 7 breathe cos right elbow is swelling. Feet alignment not good cos left shoulder also swelling.
61 points awareness meditation not great.
Breathing was nice.
Shakti was okay but my left feet was cramped and pain came. I had to rest my feet at every Kapala Bhakti. Did maintain slow Kapala for first and second cycle. Third cycle was a bit lost.
Surprising singing at the end of Shakti.
Shambavi was good. Singing at the end. Wish I could sat longer but alarm rang.
While driving has sexual tot of Z. I waived it off as karmic past. When body pain came, I be on the lookout for sympathy.
Just has breakfast. Ordered milk tea. But couldn't drink. Just took a few sip. Body rejects. These days either I am becoming more aware of my body or my body is getting sensitive.
I think it is the knowledge and experience that milk is bad for me; to drink is foolish..it is not sensible
Osho
Surrender simply means trust, relaxing. It us an attitude rather than an act.
U swim in water. U trust water. A good swimmer trusts so much that he almost become one with the river. He is not fighting, he does not grab the water. he is not stiff and tense.
If u are stiff and tense, u will be drowned; if u are relaxed, the river takes care.
Soul
With yesterday fear of water. I m still far off. But no longer judge myself. I can just continue with my sadhana for swim.
Osho
Trust me and u r not fighting; surrender means that u don't think of life as the enemy but as the friend. Once u trust the river, suddenly u start enjoying. Tremendous delight arises: splashing, swimming or just floating.
Soul
I experienced some of this before.
Sadhguru - you need not be a good person
Jun 7 eve
Just now before dinner I know I will have to pay for dinner again as big brother won't pay. Small brother normally won't pay.
I told myself that I do have the money.
To my surprise he paid and so I offer to pay some, just as my sis paid some yesterday.
Now settling down in my room with the shrine energy calming me. So nice.
On Local Isha I did my volunteer on sadhana today. The rest I didn't attend and no longer feel being left out. I m now able to distance myself away from seeking validation vs volunteering.
And main thing is that I m okay without being a top notched volunteer. I truly got so much self judgement. No wonder RA.
Sadhguru
U need not be a good person. In ur life, if ur inner nature is peaceful, loving and joyous, it is enough. U need not attempt to be a good man.
Just now before dinner I know I will have to pay for dinner again as big brother won't pay. Small brother normally won't pay.
I told myself that I do have the money.
To my surprise he paid and so I offer to pay some, just as my sis paid some yesterday.
Now settling down in my room with the shrine energy calming me. So nice.
On Local Isha I did my volunteer on sadhana today. The rest I didn't attend and no longer feel being left out. I m now able to distance myself away from seeking validation vs volunteering.
And main thing is that I m okay without being a top notched volunteer. I truly got so much self judgement. No wonder RA.
Sadhguru
U need not be a good person. In ur life, if ur inner nature is peaceful, loving and joyous, it is enough. U need not attempt to be a good man.
Saturn in Aries in 10th house
Jun 7 mor
Saturn in Aries in 10th house by Gargothill
Your Sense of Limitation, Organization and Discipline Is Focused on Achievement and Success
You are likely to be the type of person who leaves nothing to chance. Therefore, although your success rate may be high, you are not likely to take many risks and your accomplishments may not be as spectacular as they could be. However, you will usually be satisfied with a record of solid achievement.
The other side of your willingness to work hard for your successes is that nothing is likely to come easily for you. Often, everything that you have achieved, you have had to work hard at.
You may be incredibly responsible, but your seriousness about reaching your goals may tend to make your life a little dull. If you take undo pride in your achievements, you may think that you have risen to your status by your own efforts and that anyone else who is not lazy can do the same.
Sometimes, you will work excessively hard or you are driven to achieve to the point that you place yourself under a tremendous amount of stress. These are dangers inherent in Saturn in the Tenth House that you may need to balance out with a more relaxed attitude.
Soul
Hence my RA.Too much self control and self judgement.
Transcendent Potential
You can realize the transcendent potential of Saturn in the Tenth House when, rather than being focused on achieving material goals and achieving status in the eyes of the world, you look for something of real value to accomplish. You then become dissatisfied with the lesser goals of life. You now set the highest standard for yourself and you set as your goal to attain that standard. This requires a great deal of discipline and even purification. You must become single-minded in your commitment to your goal. Nothing must distract you and ultimately, you must have no other goals in your life but the attainment to this Highest of All. Ultimately, of course, you must give up your own--meaning your ego's--effort and any idea that you can accomplish that Goal. Only the absolutely Pure can reach to that Level to which you have aspired.
Soul
Yes, thats what I decided. just focus on my sadhana.
I can now handle group relationship with local Isha.
Saturn in Aries in 10th house by Gargothill
Your Sense of Limitation, Organization and Discipline Is Focused on Achievement and Success
You are likely to be the type of person who leaves nothing to chance. Therefore, although your success rate may be high, you are not likely to take many risks and your accomplishments may not be as spectacular as they could be. However, you will usually be satisfied with a record of solid achievement.
The other side of your willingness to work hard for your successes is that nothing is likely to come easily for you. Often, everything that you have achieved, you have had to work hard at.
You may be incredibly responsible, but your seriousness about reaching your goals may tend to make your life a little dull. If you take undo pride in your achievements, you may think that you have risen to your status by your own efforts and that anyone else who is not lazy can do the same.
Sometimes, you will work excessively hard or you are driven to achieve to the point that you place yourself under a tremendous amount of stress. These are dangers inherent in Saturn in the Tenth House that you may need to balance out with a more relaxed attitude.
Soul
Hence my RA.Too much self control and self judgement.
Transcendent Potential
You can realize the transcendent potential of Saturn in the Tenth House when, rather than being focused on achieving material goals and achieving status in the eyes of the world, you look for something of real value to accomplish. You then become dissatisfied with the lesser goals of life. You now set the highest standard for yourself and you set as your goal to attain that standard. This requires a great deal of discipline and even purification. You must become single-minded in your commitment to your goal. Nothing must distract you and ultimately, you must have no other goals in your life but the attainment to this Highest of All. Ultimately, of course, you must give up your own--meaning your ego's--effort and any idea that you can accomplish that Goal. Only the absolutely Pure can reach to that Level to which you have aspired.
Soul
Yes, thats what I decided. just focus on my sadhana.
I can now handle group relationship with local Isha.
Osho - Maturity
June 7
Checking out my this week Osho tarot card.
4. Whats needed for resolution?
Maturity
The distinction between the grasses and the blossoms is the same as between you not knowing that you are a buddha, and the moment you know that you are a buddha. In fact, there is no way to be otherwise. Buddha is completely blossomed, fully opened. His lotuses, his petals, have come to a completion.... Certainly, to be full of spring yourself is far more beautiful than the autumn dew falling on the lotus leaves.
Soul
This is how I feel in yesterday pool when I can't swim again out of fear.
But despite can't swim I was still laughing.
It was then I realised thatt I can be happy even if I deemed failed in the eyes of the world, in my eyes.
I can see now that I tend to judge myself loads.
I am biggest critic...and damn right unfair too. Hence I disliked authority.
And it was then I realised that it is okay i m not the 'good' volunteer..it is okay I only want to volunteer for what I like...It is okay.
I am okay.
Finally I know I am okay.
Checking out my this week Osho tarot card.
4. Whats needed for resolution?
Maturity
The distinction between the grasses and the blossoms is the same as between you not knowing that you are a buddha, and the moment you know that you are a buddha. In fact, there is no way to be otherwise. Buddha is completely blossomed, fully opened. His lotuses, his petals, have come to a completion.... Certainly, to be full of spring yourself is far more beautiful than the autumn dew falling on the lotus leaves.
Soul
This is how I feel in yesterday pool when I can't swim again out of fear.
But despite can't swim I was still laughing.
It was then I realised thatt I can be happy even if I deemed failed in the eyes of the world, in my eyes.
I can see now that I tend to judge myself loads.
I am biggest critic...and damn right unfair too. Hence I disliked authority.
And it was then I realised that it is okay i m not the 'good' volunteer..it is okay I only want to volunteer for what I like...It is okay.
I am okay.
Finally I know I am okay.
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