Awareness = Being in the Now

Jan 27

This mornin d meditation is deep. No laughter, during relax mode n shakti. Jus stillness, mind was saying where is d laughter, I replied jus enjoy d silence. There were no tot. At the point of relaxation, I find myself teethering d point of sleep. The conscious moment before mind shut down. Normal sleeping, I have never been conscious.

Perhaps what PA said was true, previously d expression of cries and laughter were jus a form of clearing. Now I finally start to meditate.

The general osho cards
1. The issue - Inner voice
If u hav found ur truth within urself, there is nothing more in this whole existence to find. Truth is functioning through u.
There are times in our lives when too many voices seem to be pulling us this way and that. Our very confusion in such situations is a reminder to seek silence and centering within. Only then we r able too hear the truth. The Inner Voice speaks not in words but in the wordless language of the heart.

Soul - yeap, centering within. M feeling better since yday lunch n this morning found fried noodle, more expensive but different taste. Food really does make me happy. Its a way I love myself and when I can't give myself food, I become sad. When m sad, difficult to connect wit Universe. I think main things is to balance, not to be overly dependent on food and not to renunciate food.
Yday, m surprised I can eat veg in a dim sum place. I also told my friend we can go non-veg place n I wil focus on veg. M fine.

2. Internal influence that u r unable to see - Integration
The conflict is in man. The politics is within u. A very small bridge exist. If this bridge is strengthened so much that the 2 minds (both darkness and light) disappear as two and become one, then integration, then crystallisation, arises.
The card of integration is the symbol of self-creation, new life and mystical union, otherwise known as alchemy.

Soul - m facing it. During meditation, I can both look up n see light and can also look down and see darkness. Both asanes is also peaceful to me. As for my ego and higher Self, both I also accept. Life is about balance.

3. External influence - conditioning
Unless u drop ur personality, u will not be able to find ur individuality. Individuality is given by existence; personality
Is imposed by family and society.
Society cannot tolerate individuality, because individuality will not follow like a sheep. Individuality has the quality of the lion; the lion moves alone.
Time to wake up the sleeping lion within.

Soul - yeap. This last one and half year, I have changed so much. Thanks to Sadhguru, I m now at peace with myself, willing to break free from my career, courageous to strike out on my own.

4. What is needed for resolution - Awareness.
Once u start dropping thoughts, the dust that u have collected in the past, the flame arises - clean, clear, alive and young. Your whole life becomes a flame and a flame without smoke. That is what awareness is.
The awareness that is growing in you is not the result of any conscious "doing", nor do u need to struggle to make something happen.
Any sense u might have had that u have been groping in the dark is dissolving now or will be dissolving soon.
Let urself settle, and remember deep inside you are jus a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged.
A channel is now opening from the circumference of activity to that center of witnessing. It will help u to become detached, and a new awareness will lift the veil from ur eyes.

Soul - my heart beat and resonates cos this is what I tot this morning. Once I let go of d sign of laughter n jus relax, I went into a deep mode, somewhere I have never even touch, somewhere silent.
I had been wondering, frustating, thinking perhaps its not worth it cos until now nothing to show except laughter n even that also gone for this few days.
Alas, I am home.

5. Resolution - the understanding
No-thingness.
Nothing is not jus nothing, it is all. It is vibrant wit all possibilities. It is potential, absolute potential. It is unmanifest, but it contains all.
Being "in the gap" can be dsorienting and even scary. Nothing to hold on to, no sense of direction, not even a hint of what choices and possibilities might lie ahead. But it was jus this state of pure potential that existed before the universe was created.
And u can do now is to relax into this no-thingness ... Fall into this silence between the words ... watch this gap between outgoing and incoming breathe. And treasure each moment of the experience.
Something sacred is about to be born


Soul - similar to the Bhagavad Gita msg of period of vacuum before joy.
Thank u.
I m now more focused on my 3 days work week, I will not be thinking of a new career but I will take time to learn things that of interest n I will profile myself. I trust the Universe will guide me to whatever I need. I jus wan to focus on what makes me happy, which is learning and understanding and sharing of mystical tools of discovery.

Bhagavad Gita
Devotee wants to carry on wit both good and bad habits, apparently both satisfy him. How quickly he forgot that his sweet-mouthed bad habits, though they belong to his own family of consciousness, stealthily carry wit them the weapons that slay his peace.

Why can't I enjoy material and spiritual pleasure together?
Those whoe equally enjoy sensory indulgences and meditational pleasure will not get anywhere for a long time. A double minded man is unstable in all his way.
Good habit - meditating upon awakening from sleep.
The sensory functions hav their rightful place in man's life only after he has subordinated them by realising himself as the soul, one with Spirit, not a body subject to sense domination.