Father, today didn't do meditation. Didn't realise that the alarm clock was off when the mobile was reset.
Woke up at 6.40 am wondering why sky is slightly bright at 5.40. Then it dawn that its 6 plius. Woke up for my changing time. I knew I was having another dream. Emotional control – can be taken as emotionally retarded. Now that my control switch is off, I start to dream day and night.
F4 yesterday. He being a coward, not willing to face upfront and asked others to do it instead. Jandi told him off that if that all he can do to avoid this wedding, then there will be another one coming. So, he might as well jus proceed with the wedding. Jungpo asked her to tell him not to walk the aisle and Jandi didn't reply cos its a decision that Jungpo has to made - losing his home, his family, his wealth, his company.
Remind me of myself - fear of losing my personality over food and chinese culture. I always tot my issue was I can't come down but can go up. Actually either coming down or going up - growth. The truth is I am afraid to grow. Now that I have come down in reporting, I have grown.
Now I guess I too perceive that proceeding with the spirituality - volunteering, herd mentality – may be low value and involve sacrifices and I was determine not to join the herd.
In reality, I was attached to my personality n I used my mom and family as a front. No one is preventing me from dropping my personality.
What a paradox, I who used to take pride that I have load of courage to change but I am actually unwilling to change. I was willing to go up just within a narrow range and don't even want to come down an inch. Me not wanting to go down - at the onset is my VFM mode, but the truth is I am afraid to grow. Another humbling experience.
1. Happy - Sad - Happy
2. Good at work - Inadequate - Good
3. Secure - Insecure - Trying.
4. Fearless - Fearful - Trying.
5. Courage - Coward - Trying
6. Growth - Stagnant - Trying. .
Now I knew what was d feeling that was nagging me behind, always buzzing, pushing me to conquer, to achieve....Actually I was stagnant, not in terms of work but my Being.
The last 5 to 6 years - to grow n I have resisted cos I tot it was to come down, to be humble and I resisted cos in my mind to grow is to go upward. I also resisted cos I thought God was unfair for wanting to make me suffer, wanting to make me humble. That is not the God that I thought he is and I won't kow tow...
Alas it is to grow, to expand. Insecurity is the only way to grow. This is similar to what Satprem said - growth in spirituality is not a vertical line going up, it is a spiral line going up and going down - expansion.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Afraid to go down - afraid to change
My Osho card for the week.
1. Issue - Adventure - there wil be danger, there will be sacrifice n u may be led astray, lost and never reaching the goal. But the search will help u to grow. Insecurity is the only way to grow. To face danger is the only way to grow, to accept
2. Internal - Conditioning by the society gives u a cozy personality - unless u drop ur personality, u will not be able to find ur individuality.
3. Sharing - the Queen of Fire is so rich, so much a queen that she can afford to give. It didn't occur for her to take inventories or to save some for later. She dispenses her treasures without limits, welcoming all and sundry to partake of her abundance, fertility and light that surrounds her. U r in a situation where u hav opportunity to share ur love, ur joy and laughter. And in sharing, you find that u feel even more full. Everything around you seems to be "coming together" now. Enjoy it, ground yourself in it and let the abundance in you and around you overflow.
4. What is needed - Patience. The whole existence waits for the right moment. The trees know when to let go of all the leaves and stand naked against the sky. They are still beautiful in that nakedness, waiting for the new foliage with a great trust that the new will soon be coming and the new leaves will start growing. We have forgotten how to wait. This card reminds us that now is a time when all that is required is to be simply alert, patient, waiting. Be contented and let's nature takes its course as something momentous is going to happen. In silence and waiting, something inside you goes on growing - ur authentic being. And one day it jumps and your whole personality is shattered; u r a new woman.
5. Resolution - finally see the reality of the Political mind that taught u a kind of slow suicide by makin u feel unworthy, guilty and takes away all ur glory. Whatever game that I have been playing has come to an end.
Today these 3 persons was brought to me and I know can relate to my Osho cards:
Colleague 1 - message to me to be grateful for all my blessings. She said I seems to be afraid to grow.
Colleague 2 - message to me is to be accountable for my personality n to change to what is my choice now. To forgive myself and my family
Colleague 3 - told me about the temple at Batu Caves and asked if I knew of any quiet temple. Suddenly I tot of the temple back in Teluk Intan, the one that mom and me always goes to pray. I also recalled I always asked why she brought me when I am not the Indian God's son. Why I have to give the blessing, shouldn't it be brother instead. Suddenly realised actually mom does pray to Indian God, so me praying now to Indian Yogis is a non issue with her.
Food - mom always encourage me to eat more vegetables, less meat. Ask me to eat less during dinner. Ask me to eat healthy.
Its me n my mind. I have used mom as the Resistant. Its me and me all along. I was attached to my personality - VFM mode in career, Gourmet Eater in Food.
Its time to drop my personality. Mom is supporting me.
1. Issue - Adventure - there wil be danger, there will be sacrifice n u may be led astray, lost and never reaching the goal. But the search will help u to grow. Insecurity is the only way to grow. To face danger is the only way to grow, to accept
2. Internal - Conditioning by the society gives u a cozy personality - unless u drop ur personality, u will not be able to find ur individuality.
3. Sharing - the Queen of Fire is so rich, so much a queen that she can afford to give. It didn't occur for her to take inventories or to save some for later. She dispenses her treasures without limits, welcoming all and sundry to partake of her abundance, fertility and light that surrounds her. U r in a situation where u hav opportunity to share ur love, ur joy and laughter. And in sharing, you find that u feel even more full. Everything around you seems to be "coming together" now. Enjoy it, ground yourself in it and let the abundance in you and around you overflow.
4. What is needed - Patience. The whole existence waits for the right moment. The trees know when to let go of all the leaves and stand naked against the sky. They are still beautiful in that nakedness, waiting for the new foliage with a great trust that the new will soon be coming and the new leaves will start growing. We have forgotten how to wait. This card reminds us that now is a time when all that is required is to be simply alert, patient, waiting. Be contented and let's nature takes its course as something momentous is going to happen. In silence and waiting, something inside you goes on growing - ur authentic being. And one day it jumps and your whole personality is shattered; u r a new woman.
5. Resolution - finally see the reality of the Political mind that taught u a kind of slow suicide by makin u feel unworthy, guilty and takes away all ur glory. Whatever game that I have been playing has come to an end.
Today these 3 persons was brought to me and I know can relate to my Osho cards:
Colleague 1 - message to me to be grateful for all my blessings. She said I seems to be afraid to grow.
Colleague 2 - message to me is to be accountable for my personality n to change to what is my choice now. To forgive myself and my family
Colleague 3 - told me about the temple at Batu Caves and asked if I knew of any quiet temple. Suddenly I tot of the temple back in Teluk Intan, the one that mom and me always goes to pray. I also recalled I always asked why she brought me when I am not the Indian God's son. Why I have to give the blessing, shouldn't it be brother instead. Suddenly realised actually mom does pray to Indian God, so me praying now to Indian Yogis is a non issue with her.
Food - mom always encourage me to eat more vegetables, less meat. Ask me to eat less during dinner. Ask me to eat healthy.
Its me n my mind. I have used mom as the Resistant. Its me and me all along. I was attached to my personality - VFM mode in career, Gourmet Eater in Food.
Its time to drop my personality. Mom is supporting me.
Resistant in going up
This morning, didn’t want to go up in my spiritual development. I only wanted to do meditation and to calm myself down. Didn’t think of getting enlighten? I don’t think I can give up things that I like
1. Difficult to get partner if into spiritual mode
2. Didn't wan to be so hard on myself by letting go of my food
3. Afraid I have more responsibility n no time for myself.
Father, suddenly I can see that these reasons are real similar to the ones whereby I don't want to go up in my career. Father, tell me more.
Jus now when doing exercise, I tot of what my Finance Manager said. She said that I have unconsciously crossed the Finance Head line and hence there is no more growth in Finance for me and hence I feel frustration and no growth. She encouraged me to move towards operations especially if we downsized.
Tot of me n my meditation. When I attend d meditation course, I wan only to silent my mind for a moment, little did I knew that I found my Soul. I finally saw the glimmer of orange light turning into white light. The other day at the Inner Engineering meditation, on 2nd day, when I was in light, I saw an eye. At first I tot it was an illussion, a play of light n try to blink it away but it stayed on for sometime.
Perhaps just like my career path, my spiritual path has exceeded my original aim and I am not willing to proceed ahead. I guess perhaps my trip to India has pushed me forward beyond my original aim.
Father, I still have resistant.
1. Difficult to get partner if into spiritual mode
2. Didn't wan to be so hard on myself by letting go of my food
3. Afraid I have more responsibility n no time for myself.
Father, suddenly I can see that these reasons are real similar to the ones whereby I don't want to go up in my career. Father, tell me more.
Jus now when doing exercise, I tot of what my Finance Manager said. She said that I have unconsciously crossed the Finance Head line and hence there is no more growth in Finance for me and hence I feel frustration and no growth. She encouraged me to move towards operations especially if we downsized.
Tot of me n my meditation. When I attend d meditation course, I wan only to silent my mind for a moment, little did I knew that I found my Soul. I finally saw the glimmer of orange light turning into white light. The other day at the Inner Engineering meditation, on 2nd day, when I was in light, I saw an eye. At first I tot it was an illussion, a play of light n try to blink it away but it stayed on for sometime.
Perhaps just like my career path, my spiritual path has exceeded my original aim and I am not willing to proceed ahead. I guess perhaps my trip to India has pushed me forward beyond my original aim.
Father, I still have resistant.
Attention and Memory comes from Interests
Swami Rama
Attention and memory comes from interest. If you have an interest in something, you never forget it. Thus memory really indicates and reflects your interest.
If you are not interested in studying a subject, then it becomes difficult for you and you cannot easily understand it.
Doing things without genuine interest weakens and dissipates the mind and create internal conflict.
Your mind is very powerful. There is nothing greater except the individual soul, the center of consciousness within. The mind is second only to the soul in power, for its functioning and expression, it has the ability to borrow power from the center of consciousness, the individual soul.
So, before the light of the body extinguishes, learn to focus all your awareness within. Then you merely leave your shell here.
Soul
I seldom able to remember financials and that gave me additional information of where my interest does not lies in. No wonder, I faced such conflict in doing financial reporting. No wonder, I expanded towards operations. Let me see, I remember about the food I ate. I instinctively know about people. Mmm, I am always interested in philosophy, psychology,…anything to do with my the inner world….
Father, my memory is my interest.
1. Food
2. Mind related knowledge
3. Personality related knowledge
4. Spiritual devt.
My strength
1. Intuitive
2. Approachable
3. Influencing
4. Resourceful
At times, I felt guilty cos I have loads of strength but sometimes dont want to 'help' others. I do help and sometimes it is tiring....
I wonder what is my purpose in life....
Attention and memory comes from interest. If you have an interest in something, you never forget it. Thus memory really indicates and reflects your interest.
If you are not interested in studying a subject, then it becomes difficult for you and you cannot easily understand it.
Doing things without genuine interest weakens and dissipates the mind and create internal conflict.
Your mind is very powerful. There is nothing greater except the individual soul, the center of consciousness within. The mind is second only to the soul in power, for its functioning and expression, it has the ability to borrow power from the center of consciousness, the individual soul.
So, before the light of the body extinguishes, learn to focus all your awareness within. Then you merely leave your shell here.
Soul
I seldom able to remember financials and that gave me additional information of where my interest does not lies in. No wonder, I faced such conflict in doing financial reporting. No wonder, I expanded towards operations. Let me see, I remember about the food I ate. I instinctively know about people. Mmm, I am always interested in philosophy, psychology,…anything to do with my the inner world….
Father, my memory is my interest.
1. Food
2. Mind related knowledge
3. Personality related knowledge
4. Spiritual devt.
My strength
1. Intuitive
2. Approachable
3. Influencing
4. Resourceful
At times, I felt guilty cos I have loads of strength but sometimes dont want to 'help' others. I do help and sometimes it is tiring....
I wonder what is my purpose in life....
Questioning Mind
Swami Rama
The mind raises questions such as "Shall I do this or not?". Whenever you consider doing something, suddenly a questioning comes into your mind and you wonder, "Shall I or not?" Shall I go this way or that way?"
There is always a doubting nature to your mind and that is the result of the faculty of manas. This constant doubt is called samkalpa vikalpa. Manas is an importer of external and exporter of internal. To do that it employs the senses.
But manas is limited as it can't make decision.
The decision maker is buddhi, the faculty of discrimination.
You are usually controlled by manas because you do not take the advice of buddhi, the higher function.
Buddhi - judges, discriminate and decide.
The deciding quality of buddhi is also important especially on timing of decision. If u miss to decide, an opportunity is lost.
Chitra - acquire knowledge - intuitive library within you.
Ahamkara - the sense of I-ness (ego). A high ego person always uses "I" a lot.
The higher ur ego, the more you do not communicate or relate well to others. The ego is helpful, provided you understand its intended role.
Manas - disturbs u with doubts n questions
Ahamkara - separates u from ur center of consciousness
Buddhi - discriminator
Chitta - intuitive library
The use of manas n ahamkara is due to mental habits.
U needs to train your ahamkara towards chitta and train your manas towards buddhi.
Don't do anything in life unless your buddhi tells you to do it.
Training the physical habits has a direct result in training the mind.
1. Get up from bed immediately. The no. of minutes that it takes you to get out of bed will tell you how lazy you are.
Regardless of Sunday or Monday, get up immediately at the time u want to instead of lazing around as it is a bad habit on both the physical and mental level.
2 Don't overeat or eat food that makes u lethargic.
3. If u remain idle without doing something useful, your mind thinks scattered and random thoughts and waste its energy.
Habit patterns weave your character;
Character composes your personality
Personality is who you are.
You are responsible for your habits patterns (although your family has also contributed to them through the way they brought you up and treated you in your childhood.)
Soul
This mornin woke up, feeling tired cos I was dreaming. Then I had a tot why meditate, no difference. I just replied at least I enjoy it. I may not know the benefits yet. Besides, perhaps that is why I found it difficult to intro meditation cos its personal and I enjoy it and besides no one has noticed any transformation.
For me, my auto control is gone and hence I am experiencing my internal mood swing. while I do experience mood swing, during meditation, I flower even more.
The more I allow my negative emotion to come out in the open, the more I allow my positive emotion to come out too.
So, the major transformation is the disappearance of my Auto-Control mode.
I used to be fearful of losing the switch. My switch is on ‘off mode’ now n I too gained the benefit of enjoyable meditation.
The mind raises questions such as "Shall I do this or not?". Whenever you consider doing something, suddenly a questioning comes into your mind and you wonder, "Shall I or not?" Shall I go this way or that way?"
There is always a doubting nature to your mind and that is the result of the faculty of manas. This constant doubt is called samkalpa vikalpa. Manas is an importer of external and exporter of internal. To do that it employs the senses.
But manas is limited as it can't make decision.
The decision maker is buddhi, the faculty of discrimination.
You are usually controlled by manas because you do not take the advice of buddhi, the higher function.
Buddhi - judges, discriminate and decide.
The deciding quality of buddhi is also important especially on timing of decision. If u miss to decide, an opportunity is lost.
Chitra - acquire knowledge - intuitive library within you.
Ahamkara - the sense of I-ness (ego). A high ego person always uses "I" a lot.
The higher ur ego, the more you do not communicate or relate well to others. The ego is helpful, provided you understand its intended role.
Manas - disturbs u with doubts n questions
Ahamkara - separates u from ur center of consciousness
Buddhi - discriminator
Chitta - intuitive library
The use of manas n ahamkara is due to mental habits.
U needs to train your ahamkara towards chitta and train your manas towards buddhi.
Don't do anything in life unless your buddhi tells you to do it.
Training the physical habits has a direct result in training the mind.
1. Get up from bed immediately. The no. of minutes that it takes you to get out of bed will tell you how lazy you are.
Regardless of Sunday or Monday, get up immediately at the time u want to instead of lazing around as it is a bad habit on both the physical and mental level.
2 Don't overeat or eat food that makes u lethargic.
3. If u remain idle without doing something useful, your mind thinks scattered and random thoughts and waste its energy.
Habit patterns weave your character;
Character composes your personality
Personality is who you are.
You are responsible for your habits patterns (although your family has also contributed to them through the way they brought you up and treated you in your childhood.)
Soul
This mornin woke up, feeling tired cos I was dreaming. Then I had a tot why meditate, no difference. I just replied at least I enjoy it. I may not know the benefits yet. Besides, perhaps that is why I found it difficult to intro meditation cos its personal and I enjoy it and besides no one has noticed any transformation.
For me, my auto control is gone and hence I am experiencing my internal mood swing. while I do experience mood swing, during meditation, I flower even more.
The more I allow my negative emotion to come out in the open, the more I allow my positive emotion to come out too.
So, the major transformation is the disappearance of my Auto-Control mode.
I used to be fearful of losing the switch. My switch is on ‘off mode’ now n I too gained the benefit of enjoyable meditation.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Meditation makes us conscious
Swami Rama
Meditation anhilates time and then you are free and can be here and now.
When we are not in touch with our Centre, our Soul, we are constantly afraid and insecure. We become caught up by our emotions. We hardly ever come into contact with our Centre from which consciousness flows.
The little bit of consciousness that we presently experience is only a dim consciousness.
Soul
Father, thank you. I was feeling bit lost and not sure of the meditations. While I enjoyed my meditation and look forward to my session, but so far I haven’t really seen any transformation in me except for stopping chewing gums and massages and my RA reading is good.
But you now by giving me Swami Rama’s book, you have guided me back on track again. I was greedy and in a rush for transformation.
After nearly at the end of F4, I finally got it. One of the reason I identify with the show is that I tot love is very difficult, has to go thru lots of challenges n fire before it can be considered true love. That is why when those guys said they don't want me or when things are difficult, I hold on and instead I should move on.
Finally I know that I want and deserved easy love. Love should be accessible as the air that I breathe. No more complicated guys n no more challenging/tricky situation like too young, too old, too poor, too smart, starting biz, building career., divorce, different race, different religion.
At first I was lamenting why no one for me yet? Of course, part of me was fearful also of receiving since my track record is quite bad even to the state of conning. I m glad, you didn't send anyone cos I wasn't ready. I still am not but I will work on remembering that I deserved easy love. My partner is rich, smart, down to earth and tall.
Meditation anhilates time and then you are free and can be here and now.
When we are not in touch with our Centre, our Soul, we are constantly afraid and insecure. We become caught up by our emotions. We hardly ever come into contact with our Centre from which consciousness flows.
The little bit of consciousness that we presently experience is only a dim consciousness.
Soul
Father, thank you. I was feeling bit lost and not sure of the meditations. While I enjoyed my meditation and look forward to my session, but so far I haven’t really seen any transformation in me except for stopping chewing gums and massages and my RA reading is good.
But you now by giving me Swami Rama’s book, you have guided me back on track again. I was greedy and in a rush for transformation.
After nearly at the end of F4, I finally got it. One of the reason I identify with the show is that I tot love is very difficult, has to go thru lots of challenges n fire before it can be considered true love. That is why when those guys said they don't want me or when things are difficult, I hold on and instead I should move on.
Finally I know that I want and deserved easy love. Love should be accessible as the air that I breathe. No more complicated guys n no more challenging/tricky situation like too young, too old, too poor, too smart, starting biz, building career., divorce, different race, different religion.
At first I was lamenting why no one for me yet? Of course, part of me was fearful also of receiving since my track record is quite bad even to the state of conning. I m glad, you didn't send anyone cos I wasn't ready. I still am not but I will work on remembering that I deserved easy love. My partner is rich, smart, down to earth and tall.
What is our mind?
Swami Rama
To be creative, you first have to be emotionally balanced, and to attain balance, you have to understand the negative emotions and how they arise. You have to understand how to use self counselling with them. But unless you regulate your primitive urge - food, sex, sleep and self preservation, your theraphy will not work.
You must learn to regulate the time at which you fulfill the urge. You also have to learn to cultivate and understand your positive emotion and then learn to express them through your mind, action and speech.
All actions are controlled by thoughts
All thoughts are controlled by emotions.
By comparison with your emotions, thought has little power, if you can use your emotional power constructively, you can channel it.
Then your emotional power can be utilised in a creative way and lead you to a height that will give you real happiness.
Soul - I tot is the tot that is powerful. Mmm.
Swami Rama
Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed, Guru Nanak. They were all born as a son of God, just like us.
They were great and powerful because they knew the inner dimensions of life and the laws that motivate them to function. They knew their internal states; they knew their own mind. Like all the great ones, in order to make spiritual progress you first need to understand your own thinking process and there are many levels to understand.
Action
Thoughts
Emotion
Fountains - food, sex, sleep and self preservation
A combination of your emotional life and your thinking process is what you call the mind.
You perceive things in different ways because you receive them from different angles.
The mind is the wall between you and reality. But at the same time, the mind can become the means for you to attain the highest goal in life - to know that dimension of life that is presently unknown to you.
The mind has 2 parts
1. Conscious - very small part, used during waking state
2. Unconscious - hidden, that dreams and sleep. Uncultivated, uncultured and unrefined
Only the great ones who were enlightened because they learned to control the unconscious mind. The sages know how to expand the conscious level of mind until nothing remains unconscious for them.
They expanded their field of the conscious mind and are conscious of that which is unconscious for you. For them, there is no such thing as past, present or future.
For you, because you have no present awareness, there are only past and future. You do not live in the here and now.
Your samskaras come forward constantly in your mind and motivates you to perform new actions in the present.
When this is not the case, then you are thinking about the future.
Soul
I always been fearful of being unconscious. The main crux of my path was to unravel all these unconsciousness so that I am aware and they don't lead my life. To me, they were doors that needs to be open, darkness that need to be cleared. Well, at least I am on the right path n the meditation helps to
consolidate me.
I never knew their power. I thought their power was the way operates us unconsciously.
Yea, the mind is on auto-wheel. Never let up. Everytime I have conquered something and jus started to rest, it will call to me. At first work, then meditation, then partner, then transformation, then others.....non-stop
Yea, I go back to the basic card. There is no need not strive to transform. Just my ego pushing me again.
To be creative, you first have to be emotionally balanced, and to attain balance, you have to understand the negative emotions and how they arise. You have to understand how to use self counselling with them. But unless you regulate your primitive urge - food, sex, sleep and self preservation, your theraphy will not work.
You must learn to regulate the time at which you fulfill the urge. You also have to learn to cultivate and understand your positive emotion and then learn to express them through your mind, action and speech.
All actions are controlled by thoughts
All thoughts are controlled by emotions.
By comparison with your emotions, thought has little power, if you can use your emotional power constructively, you can channel it.
Then your emotional power can be utilised in a creative way and lead you to a height that will give you real happiness.
Soul - I tot is the tot that is powerful. Mmm.
Swami Rama
Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed, Guru Nanak. They were all born as a son of God, just like us.
They were great and powerful because they knew the inner dimensions of life and the laws that motivate them to function. They knew their internal states; they knew their own mind. Like all the great ones, in order to make spiritual progress you first need to understand your own thinking process and there are many levels to understand.
Action
Thoughts
Emotion
Fountains - food, sex, sleep and self preservation
A combination of your emotional life and your thinking process is what you call the mind.
You perceive things in different ways because you receive them from different angles.
The mind is the wall between you and reality. But at the same time, the mind can become the means for you to attain the highest goal in life - to know that dimension of life that is presently unknown to you.
The mind has 2 parts
1. Conscious - very small part, used during waking state
2. Unconscious - hidden, that dreams and sleep. Uncultivated, uncultured and unrefined
Only the great ones who were enlightened because they learned to control the unconscious mind. The sages know how to expand the conscious level of mind until nothing remains unconscious for them.
They expanded their field of the conscious mind and are conscious of that which is unconscious for you. For them, there is no such thing as past, present or future.
For you, because you have no present awareness, there are only past and future. You do not live in the here and now.
Your samskaras come forward constantly in your mind and motivates you to perform new actions in the present.
When this is not the case, then you are thinking about the future.
Soul
I always been fearful of being unconscious. The main crux of my path was to unravel all these unconsciousness so that I am aware and they don't lead my life. To me, they were doors that needs to be open, darkness that need to be cleared. Well, at least I am on the right path n the meditation helps to
consolidate me.
I never knew their power. I thought their power was the way operates us unconsciously.
Yea, the mind is on auto-wheel. Never let up. Everytime I have conquered something and jus started to rest, it will call to me. At first work, then meditation, then partner, then transformation, then others.....non-stop
Yea, I go back to the basic card. There is no need not strive to transform. Just my ego pushing me again.
We create stress by habits
Swami Rama
Anything you do repeatedly creates a subtle groove in your unconscious mind, and then you don't have control over it any longer.
By consciously creating a new groove will your mind begin to flow toward that new groove and you will form new habit.
The day you become aware that you are the master of your actions will be a great day foe you; before you are aware of this, you are merely a slave to your own mind.
Soul
I have recently become aware that my teeth are not meant for meat. Since I still want to eat, I decided that I shld be fair to my stomach and take the time to chew my meat.
The last 2 days, whenever I touch meat, tot of chewing slowly came in, at times mid way but it has always come in.
Jus now I had chicken rice cooked by mom. Normally I will have abt 6 to 7 pieces but today I only had 3 pieces. Somehow I more conscious now.
Swami Rama
Stress results;
1. When u feels that you are doing something that you should not do
2. When you feel that you are being forced to do what you are doing.
3. When you are not able to do what you want to do.
All the above cause conflict in your mind and resulted in stress. How are you going to enlighten yourself if you remain caught up in a whirlpool that you are creating for yourself.
Try to show and express that which you are. Be honest or straight with your feeling or you will create a conflict within yourself. You form a bad habit; you become weak and full of fear; you make yourself insecure.
Go within and you can have all the power that you need. You simply have to be conscious; you have to be aware of who you are. Becoming free from the bondage of karma is the first step toward freedom.
Soul - I m feeling slightly guilty that I don't volunteer. But I really don't feel like volunteering. I am looking to rest during the weekend. Since I didn't volunteer I felt bit guilty that I still joined their session. Previously my excuse was my heavy work load. But now workload cleared but I still don't want to volunteer n hence it makes me feel bad, make me think I am not a good person. Why can’t I give back eventhough I have benefitted so much from the meditation. Also, they wanted 3 contacts n here none of my friends are keen. I was wondering if that is a reflection of me. Tot of this week inner engineering.
Aiyah! I cannot join this but I don't mind volunteering for their monthly sathsang since I be there.
Aiyah, why judge myself.
Anything you do repeatedly creates a subtle groove in your unconscious mind, and then you don't have control over it any longer.
By consciously creating a new groove will your mind begin to flow toward that new groove and you will form new habit.
The day you become aware that you are the master of your actions will be a great day foe you; before you are aware of this, you are merely a slave to your own mind.
Soul
I have recently become aware that my teeth are not meant for meat. Since I still want to eat, I decided that I shld be fair to my stomach and take the time to chew my meat.
The last 2 days, whenever I touch meat, tot of chewing slowly came in, at times mid way but it has always come in.
Jus now I had chicken rice cooked by mom. Normally I will have abt 6 to 7 pieces but today I only had 3 pieces. Somehow I more conscious now.
Swami Rama
Stress results;
1. When u feels that you are doing something that you should not do
2. When you feel that you are being forced to do what you are doing.
3. When you are not able to do what you want to do.
All the above cause conflict in your mind and resulted in stress. How are you going to enlighten yourself if you remain caught up in a whirlpool that you are creating for yourself.
Try to show and express that which you are. Be honest or straight with your feeling or you will create a conflict within yourself. You form a bad habit; you become weak and full of fear; you make yourself insecure.
Go within and you can have all the power that you need. You simply have to be conscious; you have to be aware of who you are. Becoming free from the bondage of karma is the first step toward freedom.
Soul - I m feeling slightly guilty that I don't volunteer. But I really don't feel like volunteering. I am looking to rest during the weekend. Since I didn't volunteer I felt bit guilty that I still joined their session. Previously my excuse was my heavy work load. But now workload cleared but I still don't want to volunteer n hence it makes me feel bad, make me think I am not a good person. Why can’t I give back eventhough I have benefitted so much from the meditation. Also, they wanted 3 contacts n here none of my friends are keen. I was wondering if that is a reflection of me. Tot of this week inner engineering.
Aiyah! I cannot join this but I don't mind volunteering for their monthly sathsang since I be there.
Aiyah, why judge myself.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Our teeth are not meant to chew meat
Since reading Aldous Huxley's Island, about saying grace with food. I just started to chew slowly when I eat.
Yesterday I was eating my dinner. Slowly chewing and a few thoughts came to my mind:
1. Its not easy to chew the food to small size, straining the jaw
2. How did my stomach juice manage to dissolve them. It would take a long time. Pity them
3. Compared to vege and fish, the meat takes aboutt 4 times to chew. Straining my jaw.
4. Not sure on the intestines but I think our teeth was not meant for chewing.
This morning had nasi lemak. Now just finished chewing d half nasi lemak n full scoop of cockles. Wow, very tiring. And I wonder what I have put my stomach thru. I eat loads of meat n I didn't chew, leaving it to the stomach.
I didn't care for my body. My teeth, jaw n stomach n intestines have to work overtime in order to digest. No wonder all the belching as I have been eating too fast and too much.
For now, I will continue to chew slowly cause alas I am conscious of what I put my body thru. I eat cause I feel pleasurable not because my body craves it.
Father, I am conscious. Yesterday, when I knew it take so long to chew d pork chop, I took only 3 slices. Normally I would have finished all – 8 pieces, without blinking an eye.
After jus chewing d nasi lemak n cockles, I felt tired, what's more, my body. No wonder want to sleep after that.
As at this moment, I am thinking that for next day, only takes half a serving of cockles as this is not meant for my teeth.
Father, suddenly I felt sorrowful, guilty of what I put my body thru. How come I didn't realize at all. I have heard all this before on food - but I resist cause I tot is religious and people trying to be different. And besides I love food and doesn’t want to let go of my passion.
At the moment, I am think I will cut down some meat not because it is religious, not because of my meditation. I do it because my body is not meant to consume loads of meat.
I think the ratio of meat vs others should be 20 percent and not my current 60 percent ratio.
What a laugh! I told my friend last weekend that there is no way I will change my food intake cause I love and enjoy food and my meditation don't require it. Furthermore, I can’t eat, I would be a sad person and she agrees.
Well, I still like food and meat in particular and have no intention to stop. But I will take the responsibility to chew n chew so as to minimize the impact on my body. It is not fair to my body, as it was I who decide to eat meat n hence I need to my part in chewing.
But really, the extended chewing takes the fun out.
Aldous Huxley
Animal lives in an impersonal and universal life of eating, drinking and dying, without knowing its nature.
Ordinary people know its nature but don't live it and if ever they think seriously about it, refuse to accept it.
An enlightened person knows it, lives it and accepts it completely. He eats, he drinks and in due course he dies - but he eats with a difference, drinks with a difference, dies with a difference.
Does he rise from death?
That the question that the Buddha always refused to discus. Believing in eternal life never helped anybody to live in eternity. Nor, of course, did disbelieving. So, stop all your pro-ing and con-ing (that's the Buddha's advice) and get on with the job of enlightenment. That means, here and now, the preliminary job of practising all the yogas of increased awareness.
Start by being fully aware of what you think you are. It'll help you to become aware of what you are in fact.
Soul - tot of my friend in yoga, worried that he be non-competitive in this world and hence cannot be successful in his career. Worried that if he became too spiritual that he be like Krishna having no qualms to kill.
To me, I tot we may not even reach that level, why worry. Besides in my case, I valued personal success more than success in career. I want to be happy.
Meditation
Yesterday meditation, was very good. Towards the final session, it was so good that I cried, cos I was thankful that I have been giving a chance by grace to experience it.
Just checked my 7thunders card and got 7 of clubs - exposed to spiritual knowledge that leads one back to the self by letting go of mental attitudes that are keeping you trapped on lower level of thoughts.
The highest side is mental and spiritual revelation, expanded consciousness.
Soul - amazing and this mornin that is what I tot. I am now conscious. Amen.
Yesterday I was eating my dinner. Slowly chewing and a few thoughts came to my mind:
1. Its not easy to chew the food to small size, straining the jaw
2. How did my stomach juice manage to dissolve them. It would take a long time. Pity them
3. Compared to vege and fish, the meat takes aboutt 4 times to chew. Straining my jaw.
4. Not sure on the intestines but I think our teeth was not meant for chewing.
This morning had nasi lemak. Now just finished chewing d half nasi lemak n full scoop of cockles. Wow, very tiring. And I wonder what I have put my stomach thru. I eat loads of meat n I didn't chew, leaving it to the stomach.
I didn't care for my body. My teeth, jaw n stomach n intestines have to work overtime in order to digest. No wonder all the belching as I have been eating too fast and too much.
For now, I will continue to chew slowly cause alas I am conscious of what I put my body thru. I eat cause I feel pleasurable not because my body craves it.
Father, I am conscious. Yesterday, when I knew it take so long to chew d pork chop, I took only 3 slices. Normally I would have finished all – 8 pieces, without blinking an eye.
After jus chewing d nasi lemak n cockles, I felt tired, what's more, my body. No wonder want to sleep after that.
As at this moment, I am thinking that for next day, only takes half a serving of cockles as this is not meant for my teeth.
Father, suddenly I felt sorrowful, guilty of what I put my body thru. How come I didn't realize at all. I have heard all this before on food - but I resist cause I tot is religious and people trying to be different. And besides I love food and doesn’t want to let go of my passion.
At the moment, I am think I will cut down some meat not because it is religious, not because of my meditation. I do it because my body is not meant to consume loads of meat.
I think the ratio of meat vs others should be 20 percent and not my current 60 percent ratio.
What a laugh! I told my friend last weekend that there is no way I will change my food intake cause I love and enjoy food and my meditation don't require it. Furthermore, I can’t eat, I would be a sad person and she agrees.
Well, I still like food and meat in particular and have no intention to stop. But I will take the responsibility to chew n chew so as to minimize the impact on my body. It is not fair to my body, as it was I who decide to eat meat n hence I need to my part in chewing.
But really, the extended chewing takes the fun out.
Aldous Huxley
Animal lives in an impersonal and universal life of eating, drinking and dying, without knowing its nature.
Ordinary people know its nature but don't live it and if ever they think seriously about it, refuse to accept it.
An enlightened person knows it, lives it and accepts it completely. He eats, he drinks and in due course he dies - but he eats with a difference, drinks with a difference, dies with a difference.
Does he rise from death?
That the question that the Buddha always refused to discus. Believing in eternal life never helped anybody to live in eternity. Nor, of course, did disbelieving. So, stop all your pro-ing and con-ing (that's the Buddha's advice) and get on with the job of enlightenment. That means, here and now, the preliminary job of practising all the yogas of increased awareness.
Start by being fully aware of what you think you are. It'll help you to become aware of what you are in fact.
Soul - tot of my friend in yoga, worried that he be non-competitive in this world and hence cannot be successful in his career. Worried that if he became too spiritual that he be like Krishna having no qualms to kill.
To me, I tot we may not even reach that level, why worry. Besides in my case, I valued personal success more than success in career. I want to be happy.
Meditation
Yesterday meditation, was very good. Towards the final session, it was so good that I cried, cos I was thankful that I have been giving a chance by grace to experience it.
Just checked my 7thunders card and got 7 of clubs - exposed to spiritual knowledge that leads one back to the self by letting go of mental attitudes that are keeping you trapped on lower level of thoughts.
The highest side is mental and spiritual revelation, expanded consciousness.
Soul - amazing and this mornin that is what I tot. I am now conscious. Amen.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Aldous Huxley - meditation
Aldous Huxley's Island
Meditation is one of the ways in which one co-operates with those gratuitious graces - mystical experiences.
By cultivating the state of mind that makes it possible for the dazzling estatic insights to become permanent and habitual illuminations.
By getting know oneself to the point where one won't be compelled by one's unconscious to do all the ugly, absurd, self-stultifying things that one so often finds oneself doing.
It helps ones to be more intelligent on the deeper level of concrete expereinces and personal relationship.
It is ok if u have no talents or cleverness. The intelligence will help u in living, understanding people and helping them - growing more senstive and skilful.
Cleverness and talents can sometimes gets in the way as you may tempt into habitual symbol-manipulation and become an obstacle in the way of concrete experiencing and the reception of gratuitious grace.
Soul - similar to what was said by Sadhguru. The so called dumb ones can reach spiritual heights much faster cos they provide less obstacle.
Saying that, I too provide obstacle. Fear of losing my chinese culture, my family tradition makes me fearful of Indian spirituality.
Have been doing aum and now open wider and have a sense of vibration. Jus realised all the while, my difficulty is due to me reducing the sound cos embarassed of being heard.
This gives me the motivation to continue. When I first started this path, my main objective is that I want to be in control. I cannot let my unconscious control me and hence I went deep inside to explore all my unconscious, open up all doors...of cos, at times got hurt cos I jumped in too fast..but its has been a worthwhile journey.
Towards end of last year, when I faced my weakness in reporting, I was at my ends, knowing my mind cant be trusted and knowing that no matter how much knowledge I have, I need to take care of my mind, which is shitty.
So, I thought of meditation.....and now i know meditation is to enable my Intelligence to operate on a longer mode and allow me to manage my unconscious mode in a more efficient way :)
Aldous Huxley
Friendliness evokes friendliness.
Soul
This morning I tot of my boss - everything brokes down with her and life seem not to be smooth. I tot perhaps its karma as she makes life not smooth for others.
Yday she complain of people giving her agro. Now reading this, I tot that my boss give people agro n hence now receive agro too. This year her card is 6 heart - karmic return on relationships.
Aldoux Huxley
Say grace with meals. We don't say grace; we chew it.
Grace is the first mouthful of each course - chewed and chewed until there is nothing left of it. And all the time you are chewing, you pay attention to the flavour of the food, to its consistency and temperature, to the pressures on your teeth and the feel of muscles in your jaw
While you were paying attention to these things, you were momentarily delivered from daydreams, from memories, from anticipations, from silly notions - from all the symptoms of you.
Tasting is to make me more conscious of what the not-me is up to.
Soul - that is a good practice. When I eat, I don't think. I savour d food, its texture. But what I didn't do is to chew it. Wil be chewing.
Meditation is one of the ways in which one co-operates with those gratuitious graces - mystical experiences.
By cultivating the state of mind that makes it possible for the dazzling estatic insights to become permanent and habitual illuminations.
By getting know oneself to the point where one won't be compelled by one's unconscious to do all the ugly, absurd, self-stultifying things that one so often finds oneself doing.
It helps ones to be more intelligent on the deeper level of concrete expereinces and personal relationship.
It is ok if u have no talents or cleverness. The intelligence will help u in living, understanding people and helping them - growing more senstive and skilful.
Cleverness and talents can sometimes gets in the way as you may tempt into habitual symbol-manipulation and become an obstacle in the way of concrete experiencing and the reception of gratuitious grace.
Soul - similar to what was said by Sadhguru. The so called dumb ones can reach spiritual heights much faster cos they provide less obstacle.
Saying that, I too provide obstacle. Fear of losing my chinese culture, my family tradition makes me fearful of Indian spirituality.
Have been doing aum and now open wider and have a sense of vibration. Jus realised all the while, my difficulty is due to me reducing the sound cos embarassed of being heard.
This gives me the motivation to continue. When I first started this path, my main objective is that I want to be in control. I cannot let my unconscious control me and hence I went deep inside to explore all my unconscious, open up all doors...of cos, at times got hurt cos I jumped in too fast..but its has been a worthwhile journey.
Towards end of last year, when I faced my weakness in reporting, I was at my ends, knowing my mind cant be trusted and knowing that no matter how much knowledge I have, I need to take care of my mind, which is shitty.
So, I thought of meditation.....and now i know meditation is to enable my Intelligence to operate on a longer mode and allow me to manage my unconscious mode in a more efficient way :)
Aldous Huxley
Friendliness evokes friendliness.
Soul
This morning I tot of my boss - everything brokes down with her and life seem not to be smooth. I tot perhaps its karma as she makes life not smooth for others.
Yday she complain of people giving her agro. Now reading this, I tot that my boss give people agro n hence now receive agro too. This year her card is 6 heart - karmic return on relationships.
Aldoux Huxley
Say grace with meals. We don't say grace; we chew it.
Grace is the first mouthful of each course - chewed and chewed until there is nothing left of it. And all the time you are chewing, you pay attention to the flavour of the food, to its consistency and temperature, to the pressures on your teeth and the feel of muscles in your jaw
While you were paying attention to these things, you were momentarily delivered from daydreams, from memories, from anticipations, from silly notions - from all the symptoms of you.
Tasting is to make me more conscious of what the not-me is up to.
Soul - that is a good practice. When I eat, I don't think. I savour d food, its texture. But what I didn't do is to chew it. Wil be chewing.
Aldous Huxley - Island
Soul
I was introduced to Huxley about 10 years ago and have been wanting to read his book but never got a chance. I recalled his book is on philosophy. Well, finally got this book. Last weekend, was browsing thru my friend's bookshelf and tot of putting on hold reading of Indian spirituality. I don't want to be too caught up with it. So, was happy I found Huxley - Island, a book which I have wanted to read since a long time ago.
Amazingly, Island - about a New Earth, a good mix of Indian spirituality. Isn't it amazing, perhaps God is telling me that I am on the right path. I was afraid....
Aldous Huxley's Island
Spinoza - The more a man knows about himself in relation to every kind of experience, the greater his chance of suddenly, one fine morning, realizing who in fact he is - or rather Who in Fact "he" Is.
Misery is related to mind. You cling, you crave, you assert yourself - and you live in a home-made hell. You become detached - and you live in peace.
Soul - tot of me n my fear of losing my chinese culture. Actually there is no conflict. So, jus get involved. My mom is open that she let's all the children practice different route. Me, I just wan to know myself. I want to know what I really want. I want to realise my purpose.
Work is jus a mean - not represent of me. Especially since I don't really like it.
Aldous Huxley's Island
Even if u r an intellectual. You have muscles n if u didn't use, u shall become a bad-tempered sitting-addict.
The life force that used to find an outlet through striped muscle gets turned back on the viscera and the nervous system and slowly destroys them.
The reason why city dweller didn't enjoy physical work is becos they were not taught to do things with the minimum strain and the maximum of awareness - to make it enjoyable.
Soul - time to pick up my swimming. Wil go for sunday too. Last saturday swimming, I noted my stroke was firm. I recalled breathing also was easy. I wasn't feeling scared, so didn't rush and hence wasn't out of breathe, like normal
I used to go swimmin n yet fear. Perhaps I now can experienced swimmin without fear. Who knows, may take up diving.
I was introduced to Huxley about 10 years ago and have been wanting to read his book but never got a chance. I recalled his book is on philosophy. Well, finally got this book. Last weekend, was browsing thru my friend's bookshelf and tot of putting on hold reading of Indian spirituality. I don't want to be too caught up with it. So, was happy I found Huxley - Island, a book which I have wanted to read since a long time ago.
Amazingly, Island - about a New Earth, a good mix of Indian spirituality. Isn't it amazing, perhaps God is telling me that I am on the right path. I was afraid....
Aldous Huxley's Island
Spinoza - The more a man knows about himself in relation to every kind of experience, the greater his chance of suddenly, one fine morning, realizing who in fact he is - or rather Who in Fact "he" Is.
Misery is related to mind. You cling, you crave, you assert yourself - and you live in a home-made hell. You become detached - and you live in peace.
Soul - tot of me n my fear of losing my chinese culture. Actually there is no conflict. So, jus get involved. My mom is open that she let's all the children practice different route. Me, I just wan to know myself. I want to know what I really want. I want to realise my purpose.
Work is jus a mean - not represent of me. Especially since I don't really like it.
Aldous Huxley's Island
Even if u r an intellectual. You have muscles n if u didn't use, u shall become a bad-tempered sitting-addict.
The life force that used to find an outlet through striped muscle gets turned back on the viscera and the nervous system and slowly destroys them.
The reason why city dweller didn't enjoy physical work is becos they were not taught to do things with the minimum strain and the maximum of awareness - to make it enjoyable.
Soul - time to pick up my swimming. Wil go for sunday too. Last saturday swimming, I noted my stroke was firm. I recalled breathing also was easy. I wasn't feeling scared, so didn't rush and hence wasn't out of breathe, like normal
I used to go swimmin n yet fear. Perhaps I now can experienced swimmin without fear. Who knows, may take up diving.
Alas am I freed
Alas, I am freed. I have conquered my fear of reporting
Can finally stabilise my work and able to go home before 7.30 pm...Hurray
I am so happy to go back when I can still see bright sky :)
Swami Rama
Samyama - inner transformation through concentration, meditation and samadhi.
Without living in silence for a considerable time, maintaining a deeper state of meditation is not possible.
East/Indian - Free thinkers in terms of spirituality but are in bondage of social laws
West - Free from bondage of social laws but in bondage of certain fixed ideas in their thinking and worshipping.
Inner strength, cheerfulness and selfless service are the basic principles of life.
It is immaterial whether one lives in the East or West. A human being should be a human being first. Every human being is a living institution or a temple.
Messages from the Himalayan sages
1. To get freedom from all fears.
2. To be aware of the reality within.
The purpose of this message is to awaken the divine flame that resides in the reservoir of every human being.
This flame, when perfectly kindled by spiritual discipline, mounts higher and higher into the vast light of truth.
It rises through the vital or nervous mind, passes through our mental sky, and finally enters at the paradise of light, its own supreme home in the eternal truth.
Then the illumined practitioner sits calm in his celestial sessions with the highest powers and drinks the wine of infinite beatitude.
This child of immortality us a child of universal parents, protected all the time by the Mother Divine.
The rapturous child of bliss remains divine-will intoxicated in delight.
He became a sage, a sleepless envoy and ever-wakeful guide for those who tread the path.
Such a leader on the path marches in front of human people to comfort, help and enlighten them.
Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.
Soul - Meditation
Last tuesday, started a new step, head goes down, stomach in n just stayed there - so comfortable. Then later head to touch the ground in salutation.
Later come up.
Yesterday, start to do left right swaying - even during ohm - so comfortable.
The orange light is now glowing brightly.
The white moon light is enveloping.
What bliss.
Since guru pooja, my meditation expanded. Also the head shaking slightly reduce.
My message to myself - loosening the culture of worshipping, loosening my mom's hold of me. Showing that with Willingness, we can be transcended by any form of Guru. I too need to release my hidden fixed idea that hinduism culture vs Chinese culture. I take pride in my Chinese culture and not able to accept Indian culture. Also my fear that I will disappoints my mom. Perhaps that is why guru pooja is brought to me.
Can finally stabilise my work and able to go home before 7.30 pm...Hurray
I am so happy to go back when I can still see bright sky :)
Swami Rama
Samyama - inner transformation through concentration, meditation and samadhi.
Without living in silence for a considerable time, maintaining a deeper state of meditation is not possible.
East/Indian - Free thinkers in terms of spirituality but are in bondage of social laws
West - Free from bondage of social laws but in bondage of certain fixed ideas in their thinking and worshipping.
Inner strength, cheerfulness and selfless service are the basic principles of life.
It is immaterial whether one lives in the East or West. A human being should be a human being first. Every human being is a living institution or a temple.
Messages from the Himalayan sages
1. To get freedom from all fears.
2. To be aware of the reality within.
The purpose of this message is to awaken the divine flame that resides in the reservoir of every human being.
This flame, when perfectly kindled by spiritual discipline, mounts higher and higher into the vast light of truth.
It rises through the vital or nervous mind, passes through our mental sky, and finally enters at the paradise of light, its own supreme home in the eternal truth.
Then the illumined practitioner sits calm in his celestial sessions with the highest powers and drinks the wine of infinite beatitude.
This child of immortality us a child of universal parents, protected all the time by the Mother Divine.
The rapturous child of bliss remains divine-will intoxicated in delight.
He became a sage, a sleepless envoy and ever-wakeful guide for those who tread the path.
Such a leader on the path marches in front of human people to comfort, help and enlighten them.
Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.
Soul - Meditation
Last tuesday, started a new step, head goes down, stomach in n just stayed there - so comfortable. Then later head to touch the ground in salutation.
Later come up.
Yesterday, start to do left right swaying - even during ohm - so comfortable.
The orange light is now glowing brightly.
The white moon light is enveloping.
What bliss.
Since guru pooja, my meditation expanded. Also the head shaking slightly reduce.
My message to myself - loosening the culture of worshipping, loosening my mom's hold of me. Showing that with Willingness, we can be transcended by any form of Guru. I too need to release my hidden fixed idea that hinduism culture vs Chinese culture. I take pride in my Chinese culture and not able to accept Indian culture. Also my fear that I will disappoints my mom. Perhaps that is why guru pooja is brought to me.
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