Afraid to go down - afraid to change

My Osho card for the week.

1. Issue - Adventure - there wil be danger, there will be sacrifice n u may be led astray, lost and never reaching the goal. But the search will help u to grow. Insecurity is the only way to grow. To face danger is the only way to grow, to accept

2. Internal - Conditioning by the society gives u a cozy personality - unless u drop ur personality, u will not be able to find ur individuality.

3. Sharing - the Queen of Fire is so rich, so much a queen that she can afford to give. It didn't occur for her to take inventories or to save some for later. She dispenses her treasures without limits, welcoming all and sundry to partake of her abundance, fertility and light that surrounds her. U r in a situation where u hav opportunity to share ur love, ur joy and laughter. And in sharing, you find that u feel even more full. Everything around you seems to be "coming together" now. Enjoy it, ground yourself in it and let the abundance in you and around you overflow.


4. What is needed - Patience. The whole existence waits for the right moment. The trees know when to let go of all the leaves and stand naked against the sky. They are still beautiful in that nakedness, waiting for the new foliage with a great trust that the new will soon be coming and the new leaves will start growing. We have forgotten how to wait. This card reminds us that now is a time when all that is required is to be simply alert, patient, waiting. Be contented and let's nature takes its course as something momentous is going to happen. In silence and waiting, something inside you goes on growing - ur authentic being. And one day it jumps and your whole personality is shattered; u r a new woman.

5. Resolution - finally see the reality of the Political mind that taught u a kind of slow suicide by makin u feel unworthy, guilty and takes away all ur glory. Whatever game that I have been playing has come to an end.

Today these 3 persons was brought to me and I know can relate to my Osho cards:
Colleague 1 - message to me to be grateful for all my blessings. She said I seems to be afraid to grow.

Colleague 2 - message to me is to be accountable for my personality n to change to what is my choice now. To forgive myself and my family

Colleague 3 - told me about the temple at Batu Caves and asked if I knew of any quiet temple. Suddenly I tot of the temple back in Teluk Intan, the one that mom and me always goes to pray. I also recalled I always asked why she brought me when I am not the Indian God's son. Why I have to give the blessing, shouldn't it be brother instead. Suddenly realised actually mom does pray to Indian God, so me praying now to Indian Yogis is a non issue with her.

Food - mom always encourage me to eat more vegetables, less meat. Ask me to eat less during dinner. Ask me to eat healthy.

Its me n my mind. I have used mom as the Resistant. Its me and me all along. I was attached to my personality - VFM mode in career, Gourmet Eater in Food.
Its time to drop my personality. Mom is supporting me.