I am back with Sadhguru

Jus did my evenin kriyas. Was crying loads at the start of Shambavi. I guess that's my guilt on leaving Sadhguru. I cried and cried, then I said I won't leave him and I will sit infront of his pix during Sathsang and the tears stop.

Now I know why I cried loads during the last song in sathsang with Sadhguru. It is song abt Isha, cherishing and thanking Isha for the peace and joy it brought. Here I actually plan to leave n that's why I cried and cried.

Yeap, I fell again deeper after seeing Sadhguru. He has given us so much and here me being recalcitrant and judge him for things not within his control. He can't control or manage his thousands of followers and I shouldn't judge him.

I know I wil commit to the consecration cos it is his baby and I want to pay my respect.

As for the third level, still not sure but at least resistant not as high. I m still not keen on hatta yoga. For now just commit to going to the consecration.

Sadhguru
In every life that u come here, whether u have one hole or one hundred holes, every time people come, they go back empty-handed. Nothing attained, nothing gained, u r coming and going, birth and death.
Only when u plug those holes u don't have to go to the river. The river comes to u; that is how it is. You don't have to go in search of God anymore. The moment your receptivity is right, God is. There is no need to search for God, to search for Truth. The moment ur receptivity is right. Truth is. It is more essential than u and me. It is more essential than existence itself. It is not something that u search for; it is just that u r prepared to receive; that's all.
Plug all ur holes and it is there.
First of all, stop puncturing urself. If u stop punching holes into urself, the holes that are already there are easy to close.
Your problem is creating new and newer karmas. That's the whole problem. If that is stopped, u will see that the sense of buoyancy increases every day. Day by day, u will see that things are going up, not down anymore.
Watch urself and do not make any new holes. That is the most importanbt aspects of sadhana.

Soul - Father, I will stop running. The river has come to me and its time I face it. I will sit infront of Sadhguru pix. So what if I am expressive (this is jus my old fear of not havin control). I will be who I truly am. To laugh and to cry. Cos if I am shy even during meditation, then I surely be more repressive outside meditation. Let's jus savour the river that is flowing in me. Stop trying to resist the flow.

Timing is perfect that Sadhguru is here cos I was prepared to run away again after Shoonya. I am staying. Even if I don't believe or ascribe the practices such as volunteer and etc, I am thankful to Sadhguru.