Still following Sadhguru and now in Bhakti mode

Father, did my Guru Pooja, Suria Namaskara and Shakti. Feels good. Yesterday was feeling bit guilty that mom has to sleep in dad’s room. But let's face it. Both she n me is not ready to face my meditational experience. She wouldn't understand n would be afraid of my meditation and me afraid of her judgement, will clamp up. Anyway, I paid for the house and I deserved to have a room to myself that I can do my yoga practices.

My Osho for the week.
1. The Creator - the one who works on himself, his own being. You are carrying a masterpiece hidden within u, but u r standing in the way. Jus move aside, then the masterpiece will be revealed.
Only when u r integrated, where there is no difference between who u r inside and who u are in the outside world, u can use ur Energy for creation rather than destruction. Use whatever skills u have, whatever u have learned from ur own life experience, it becomes

Soul - yeap, I was having so much conflicting views before seeing Sadhguru and now m on track. I recalled I got 2 Energy card wrongly used for destruction. I guess it was talking abt me. Instead of using the Energy to work on my integration, I used it to attack others and myself too.

My goal has always been to work on myself. Yday checked out d cd on Nadha Bramha n it state that listening will make a person soften. I like that.

Ironically my 52 days card is 9 of heart, death of rship and teaching others. I interpret this as death of my old self.

2. Integration
The conflict is in man. Unless it is resolved there, it cannot be resolved anywhere else. The politics is within you; it is between two parts of the mind.
The eagle and the swan are both beings of flight and majesty. The eagle is the embodiment of power and aloneness. The swan is the embodiment of space and purity, gently floating and diving, upon and within the element of the emotions, entirely content and complete within her perfection of beauty.
The card of integration is the symbol of self creation, new life and mystical union otherwise known as alchemy.

Soul - looks like I guess it right my Nine Heart card, the death of old me and the birth of new Me.

3. Politics
The mind is political. Always scheming and manipulating. You have been playing this game for so long and to continue is painful. It doesn't serve anybody's interest in the end, least of all yours. Whatever u might achieve in this way will just turn into dust.

Soul - I was judging the followers. Guess I was judging myself too. Jus stop it loh. Its time. I no longer wan to receive this card. Jus let the Inner (Unconscious) me come out. The Outer (conscious) me has to be broken, I no longer has to contain it. The Outer is not me and I need not be afraid of losing it.

4. What is needed - Rebirth.
Your consciousness is only a mirror. Neither do u come, nor do u go. Things come and go. All these states are simply reflections in an eternal pool of consciousness.

First - camel (sleepy and depressed, ives in delusion, thinkin arrived but very concerned wit others' opinion)
Second - lion (alone and proud, roaring our truth)
Third - child (neither acquiescent nor rebellious, but innocent and spontaneous and true to his own being.

Wherever u are, be aware that it will evolve into something new if u allow it. It is a time of growth and change.

Soul - yeap, finally I calmed down when I realising it was d internal/external conflict. This card tells me that m not losing anything. The outer is not me. And it changes, if I jus allow it.
And I now welcome it.

5. Resolution - Receptivity.
When u r receptive, the door is open. You will have no head, no busy and aggressive mind to hinder ur pure receptivity. You become in tune with the harmony of the Universe.
Sensitivy, intuition and compassion are the qualities that shine forth now, dissolving all the obstacles that keep us separate from each other and from the whole.

Soul - Amen.

Afternoon
Was reading Osho discourse. He claims that his sannyasins is connected with him. Fell in love with. Surrender to him. I didn't like it cos that's arrogance cos I surrender only to God, to my Inner Being. At first was thinking of Sadhguru, he too claimed that u will not retrograde in after life if u stay with him. But then this doesn't coincide wit what he said abt our aim is to connect with Universe and we can only do so if we r on same level wit Universe, which is joy. So our aim is to live joyously.

Osho
Mind can only exist either in the past or in the future. It cannot exists in the present. Hence it is always running.
The past is no more and the future is yet to be, both are non existential. Mind lives on non-existential and hence it cannot be existent itself. It is a shadow, it is not a reality.

One has to stop rushing and running. That's what meditation is all about; stopping the mind herenow, bringing it to the present.
The moment u bring the mind to the present, it melts and disappear.

Mind is negativity, no-mind is positivity.

Drop the psychological past and psychological future.

The path of love (Bhakti) is like a delicate rose. It is the feminine path. And only those who are really heart people can follow the path. You will have to become more and more sensitive, receptive, passive, allowing - that's the meaning of surrender.

(Sadhguru also said is the most direct path but also dangerous cos very few people are innocent like a child)

The devotee knows the chemistry, the alchemy of dissolving the ego. And he is ready to give his head. That is his surrender.

Soul - this is so similar to my weekly Osho reading. I have started as Gnana, then do Kriya and now d way is Bhakti (to drop my head and use my heart instead).
I recalled Sadhguru said the 4 will combine, its jus a matter of combination ratios.
So, that means for me, the last will be Karma Yoga.
For now is Bhakti as I m now in the feeling mode.