Cosmic Reward - seeing the great learning from the relationship with Z

Sept 19 Eve
Father, thanks for everything.

Ask and It is Given
Unconditional love is really about wanting so much to remain in connection, NO MATTER what manifestations may be happening nearby.

Soul
I will remember this. The Seven of Hearts is linked to Seven of Clubs and Seven of Spades.

I was updating my blog and this came up from journal dated Sept 7

ACIM
It takes great learning to understand that all things, events, encounters and circumstances are helpful. It is only to the extent to which they are helpful that any degree of reality should be accorded to them.

He must learn to lay all judgment aside, and ask only what he really wants in every circumstances. Judgment destroys honesty and shatters trust. No teacher of judge and hope to learn. Without judgement all things are equally acceptable.

Soul
This is exactly same as Beyond Illusions

North Node in Taurus
What I aspire to have
1. Loyalty
2. Taking things one step at a time
3. A sense of self-worth
4. Awareness of personal values
5. Patience
6. Honouring expressed needs of self and others
7. Enjoying the five physical senses
8. Gratitude
9. Awareness of nurturing from Mother Earth
10. Forgiveness
11. Persistence.

Tendencies to leave behind
1. Attraction to crisis situations
2. Overconcern with other people's business
3. Impatience
4. Inappropriate intensity
5. Preoccupation with the psychological motivations of others
6. Resistance to cooperating with what others want
7. Overreacting
8. Destroying something in order to eliminate one part
9. Obsessive-compulsive disorder.


North Node in Taurus
When they see how far they have to go to reach their goal, they panic. All the work involved, the hurdles to overcome - how can they ever get there? So, they pull back from their larger goals owing to fear of failure. It all seems too overwhelming.

The only way long-range goals are reached is by breaking the process into individual steps. And the goal will be reached if each step is completed with total attention.

Soul
I know this. But I am now doing things step by step.

(Oct 31 - no wonder furnishing my bedroom and renovating bathroom feels so overwhelming. Alas, I have chosen the scheme and the base colour to start with. I have also settle the bathroom concept)

North Node in Taurus
Its the same in an important relationship. If these folks meet someone who "rings their bells", the idea of reuniting with their soul mate is so overwhelming that they don't want to think about it; they want to jump right into it - and the result is disaster.

North Node in Taurus
When they think of their goal, they forget getting there is solely up to them and their willingness to do the work. They can feel a lot of emotional intensity worrying about whether they are worthy of the goal.

Soul
I tot I was thinking of price to pay. I guess I was thinking if I can get it. When the chance of success is low, then I won't do it. Looks like the real reason is because of my uncertainty.

North Node in Taurus
They are not accustomed to formulating a strategy for getting to the goal, since in past lives defining the steps was the responsibility of another person.
Now they are learning to determine the goal they would like to accomplish and to formulate a practical plan for achieving. As they take the steps, they are efficient and have a feeling of confidence that "it will work" - and it usually does as long as they systematically follow the steps

Soul
Exactly. I know A and finale Z, but in between I have some difficulty. It is very difficult for me to go step by step as I don't know how. Normally I worked backward from Z and fill in blanks. I always told my staff that I knew the goal that I wanted but I don't know how to get there step by step.


North Node in Taurus
Even so, it is not always easy for these folks to be clear about what they want in life. They need a lot of self-reflection and soul searching to determine what they want to build. And when they do decide, it is important that they remember to tune in to their inner feeling of comfort of whether or not a decision is "on path" for them. When they remain true to that inner sense of what is comfortable (which is a reflection of their own unique boundaries), everything works to their advantage.

When they find spiritual practices they resonate with, their best bet is to apply them on a practical basis in their daily lives.

Soul
Only when I reach early forties that I knew I am good at writing and I have loads to express. And I found meditation so late in life.

North Node in Taurus
Mastering Money - they are too trusting with money. They need to accept responsibility for taking care of their own finances. Only then can they include others without fear of losing their personal power and self-worth. When they feel secure, they can trust the universe in a way that empowers them to see what life is offering.

Taking Charge
To accept responsibility in terms of money and open the doors to personal wealth, they need to deliberately begin paying attention to money; writing down, keeping track of what they are spending and where their money is going. This is empowering. Accumulating money is a game, for which these folks have a real talent. Once they put their minds, they can easily become wealthy.

Soul
I don't keep track. I don't really invest.

North Node in Taurus
Sometimes they feel resentful about having to take charge with money. They are angry about not having the "easier life" they were accustomed to in past incarnation.
They need to take care of money to create a secure financial base that will allow them to take risks in other areas. This gives them a feeling of ease and confidence about life and makes them feel good about themselves.

Soul
I am there. I am commitment free. I have loads of saving that I can work 4 days week with reduced pay. I can also buy and eat things that I enjoy.

North Node in Taurus
They have a natural understanding of how money works and the necessity of circulating money. Their challenge is to circulate it consciously. Once they start using it to build with, they can become very wealthy.
In past lives, they were accustomed to using other people's money that they lost respect for the value of money; they didn't have to earn it themselves. In this lifetime they are learning to respect money and to use it wisely in ways that help it multiply. Money is their teacher. Once they tap into their intuition of how money works, money itself will show them how to make more.

Soul
I know how to spend money within my means. I know money is my freedom, my security. And the con job further confirm my lackaisidal with money. I now need to learn how to multiply my money. Ask and It is Given has shown me the tool.

North Node in Taurus
The accumulation of debt does not work for them. They are master builders when they use common sense and don't take "leap of faith" or try high wire maneuvers without a safety net. But in some ways, they don't respect money and tend to be careless about it.

Soul
Yea, the con job happens because I was careless and I wanted to try leap of faith.

North Node in Taurus
They have lot of fears around money owing to lack of experience in providing for themselves financially in past lives.

But sometimes, they lose control and go on spending spree.

They can't stand feeling restricted financially.

Soul
That's me, except for the spending spree.

North Node in Taurus
The irony is that once they put their nose to the grindstone and accept responsibility for earning and budgeting, they can easily accrue the kind of wealth that will allow them to spend without worry.

But once they have made it, they need to continue to be responsible about handling it - they are not allowed to be unconscious about money in this lifetime.

Soul
Very true. The only saving grace is that I have a finance degree and holds a senior finance position, so that puts me on even footing. But now I want to learn to multiply my money. I want to buy all the beautiful things that I appreciate.

North Node
They are meant toward turning within themselves to connect with wealth of reassurance and peace in their own nature. Thus the bonding they need for security and a sense of self worth can happen within themselves.

Soul
Yea, I found meditation and now practice daily.