Endless digging

Sri Aurobindo
The higher we rise, the lower we are pulled down.
Evolution does not rise higher and higher, into an ever more heavenly heaven, but deeper and deeper.

If one pulls down a slightly strong light, all the darkness below groans, violated.
And the battle seems endless. One digs and digs, the more the bottom seem to recede. And if it there were not the strength and Ananda, it would be harassing and disgusting work.

The more light we have, the more darkness we discover. Night after night, we track down the surreptitious rot that undermines Life - how could we transform anything as long as the necrosis is here?

And since by now, our mind and vital are too well established in the truth, too clear to be attacked by these subterranean forces, it is the body that suffers, for it is the last den of the Fatherhood.

At the very bottom, beyond disorders, beyond fear - the great Fear presiding in the depths - we find an immense Weariness, something that refuses, that say NO to all this pain of living, this rape of light.
We sense that going down there, to the end of this NO, we would simply melt into a great release of stone, as the ecstasy above was a great release of Light.
Death is not the opposite of Life!
Death is the reverside of, or the door to, the luminious Superconscient - at the end of the NO, there is a Yes and again YES, which pushes us into one body after another, again and again, to find the hoy.
Death is nothing but the regret of this Yes. The great Weariness at the very bottom, a travesty of this bilss. It is the obscure release of a body that has not yet found the luminious release of eternal joy
When the body finds this ecstasy, this immensity of light and joy deep within its own flesh, as well as above, it will no longer need to die.

Soul - I have experienced the endless digging n wonder where it will end. Wonder how much fear is there in me. It is very tiring and alone cos no one can relate why we push ourselves through all the lessons. It is because I have experienced Love beyond every little fear, that I continued ploughing. I admit I was feeling tired after more than 10 years of ploughing n was abt to give up, to be status quo and joined the world in suffering, too tired to liberate myself further. Also, I reached the fear of my mind and didn't know how to reach beyond my mind's fear. God must have heard my prayer and send me to my current employment and throw me to another bottom but yet saved me with yoga kriya.