A new perception on suffering

Sri Aurobindo
If instead of responding to the incoming vibration, we maintain absolute inner stillness, we see that this stillness dissolves the vibration.
All vibrations, whatever their nature is contagious.
The key to mastery is always silence, at every level, becos in silence we can discern the vibrations, and to discern them means to be able to catch hold of them.
Alone, we can very easily live under the perfect delusion of self mastery n hence we need to mingle with life.
The real complications are not in life but in ourselves, and all external circumstances are the exact image of what we are.

All these vibrations of disorder that we call "sorrow", our troubles, have the immediate result of weakening or disintegrating our protective snowfield and open the door wide to the adverse forces.
We can discover we can go down as low as we can rise high, that in reality our downs are in exact proportion to our capacity of height.

That by which you fall is that by which you rise, says Kularnava Tantra. We blame the "Enemy", but is it not possible that the soul itself - not the outward mind, but the spirit within - has accepted and chosen these things as part of its development in order to get through the necessary experience at a rapid rate, to hew throguh, durchhauen, even at the risk or the cost of much damage to the outward life and the body? To the growing soul, to the spirit within us, may not difficulties, obstacles, attacks be a mean of growth, added strength, enlarged experience, trainning for spiritual victory.

We cry out against evil, but if it were not there to beset us and defy us, we would have long ago seized the eternal Truth and turned it into an impregnable tidy little platitude.

The method for dealing with these adverse forces is the same as with the other vibrations : silence, inner stillness which let's the storm blow over.

In practice, the seeker of the integral yoga will be much more exposed than others, because he seeks to embrace everything in his consciousness, without cutting off anything and because there is not just one passage to force open, toward the bliss above, not just one guardian of the treasure to overcome, but many passages, to the right, left n below and every level of our being and more than one treasure to uncover

Soul - my tot is I was being harsh with myself n I want to quit. Then this phrase of silence, n 2nd tot came in, if u wan to quit, quit after the storm.

Its true, u don't like the work, but now what's pushing u away is the fear of storm. So stay silent.

Evenin
Sri Aurobindo
For every one of our feelings is the reverse of another, at any moment can change into its 'opposite' - the disillusioned philanthropist (or rather the disillusioned vital in the philanthropist) becomes a pessimist. Here we touch upon another flaw of the surface vital; it is an incorrigible charlattan, every role suits it - we are not even sure that our own mother's death escapes its pleasure.
And to crown its talents, the vital excels in fogging everything up - it is fog incarnate - and mistakes the force of its feeling for the force of truth: its substitutes for the heights a smoky volcano summit in the abyss.
The utter powerlessness of the vital to help others, or even simply to communicate, except when there is a meeting of egoisms.
In truth, our sorrows and sufferings are always the sign of a mixture, and therefore always deceitful.
Joy alone is true. Because only the I in us that embraces all existence and all possible opposites of existence is true.
We suffer because we put things outside ourselves. When all is inside, all is joy, because there is no more gap anywhere.
The Heart is actually the most mixed place of all. It also soon goes out of breathe.

Soul - yesterday I cried again, saying that no one is coming to save me. This time, I didn't hold on to it, just let it cry. Because somehow, I tot of The Alchemist, the Swan (Heart) also has its fear, jus like Eagle has his. So, I acknowledged its suffering but I won't do anything yet cause I now reach a point that m not sure of my Swan, just like m not sure of my Eagle.

Sri Aurobindo
The Life-Force (Energy) does not suffer, it is not troubled, impassioned, bad or good - it is, it flows, immense and peaceful.

All the contrary signs our vital assumes in us are only vestiges of our past evolution, when we are small, very small and separate and had no choice but to proetect ourselves from the living immensity too intense for our smallness, to distinguish between "useful" and "harmful" vibrations, the former getting a positive coefficient of pleasure or symphaty or good, the latter a negative coeffficient of suffering or repulsion or evil.
Hence the remedy is not to starve our vital but to broaden it, to accept n to enlarge our consciousness. For such is the very meaning of evolution.
Ultimately, the only thing we must renounce is our ignorance and our smallness.
When we frantically cling to our small frontal personality, to its playacting, and sticky sentimentality and saintly sorrow, we are not being truly "human", we are laggards of the Pleistocene, we defend our right to sorrow and suffering.

Soul - Father, Thank you for guiding my good friend to buy this book for me. It led me to see my suffering in another mode. When I first started, I couldn't feel sadness even. Then it sadness and alas adjourned to suffering n now stopping and perhaps taking a U turn back.