Present - being conscious of ur inner mental-emotional state

Feb 3
The Power of Now

Not in the Now
1. What if - worrier. The mind projecting itself into an imaginary future situation and creating fear.

You can always cope with the Now, but u can never cope with the future - nor do u have to. The answer, the strength, the right action or the resource will be there when u need it, not before, not after.

2. One day I will make it - the goal makes the present is jus a means to an end.
No matter what u achieve or get, the present will never be good enough, the future will always seems better. A perfect recipe for permanent dissatisfaction and non-fulfillment.

3. Habitual waiter. Want the future and not the present. Waiting for next vacation, for better job, waiting for a truly meaningul rship, waiting to become enlightened, waiting got success - waiting to start living.
You don't want what u got, and u wanted what u haven't got. U unconsciously create an inner longing.

Soul - I have learn enough to know that the future will be the same as the present or even the past if we don't grow.
That's why m focus on growing in the present cos d future will jus be an extrapolation of present.

Yday nite when doing meditation, I have tot of food like bacon, pork and etc. And the night before I dreamt of a room full of cooked fish.
This morning I recall my Passion is food and enjoyment of food with hubby. I also want coffee. So, I know d middle path is for me.

The Power of Now
There is nothing wrong with striving to improve ur life situation. You can improve ur life situation but u cannot improve ur life. Life is primary, is ur deepest inner Being.
Your life situation consists of ur circumstances and ur experiences.
There is nothing wrong wit setting goals and striving to achieve things. The mistake likes in using it as a substitute for the feeling of life, for Being. The only point of access for that is the Now.
You are like an architect who pays no attention to the foundation of a building but spends a lot of time working on the superstructure.

The more u practice monitoring ur inner mental-emotional state, the easier it will be to know when u have been trapped in past or future, which is to say unconscious, and to awaken out of the dream of time into the present

The outer purpose belongs to horizontal time - with what and where
The inner purpose concerns a deepening of ur Being in the vertical dimensios of the timeless Now - how u r.
This is both the purpose and the fulfillment of ur inner journey, the journey into urself.

Soul - I have been on the Self Journey for quite some time now. People have says that m too intense in getting to know myself. But I jus continue. The journey has led me to fully accept myself.

The Power of Now
Question - does it matter whether we achieve our outer purpose, whether we succeed or fail in the world?

Answer - It will matter as long as u haven't realised ur inner purpose. After u know ur inner purpose, the outer purpose is just a game that u may continue to play simply because u enjoy it.

It is also possible to fail completely in ur outer purpose and the same time totally succeed in ur inner purpose.
The sooner u realise that ur outer purpose cannot give u a lasting fulfillment, the better it is and u will make ur outer purpose subservient to ur inner purpose.

(Soul - mmm, i know i succeeded in my inner purpose. Of cos, dont see the 'change' in outer purpose. I have been judging myself, guess it is okay now. Jus focus on my inner purpose, to guide me. The inner transformation is still new, so not able to guide me in my outer purpose yet.)

Question - How could we ever become conscious of all our past conditioning or get rid of it? How long would that take? And even if we did, what would there be left.

Answer - What is left when illusion end. There is no need to investigate the unconscious past in u except as it manifest at this moment as a tot, an emotion, a desire, a reaction or an external event that happens to u.
Whatever u need to know about the unconscious past in u, the challenges of the present will bring it out.
If u delve into the past, it will become a bottomless pit. There is always more.
You may think that u need more time to understand the past or become free of it, in other word, that the future will eventually free u of the past. This is a delusion.
Only the present can free u of the past. More time cannot free u of time. Access the power of Now. That is the key.

Soul - exactly. I first read this in 2002 and repeated in 2003. Why I didn't see this? I only realised the futility of digging my unconscious issue as it is a bottomless pit in 2007 and 2008. Also know that my shitty mind is creating more issue. So never ending.

The Power of Now
Now is none other than the power of ur presence, ur consciousness liberated from thought forms.
So deal with the past on the level of the present.
Give attention to the present, give attention to ur behaviour, ur reactions, moods, tots, emotions, fear and desires as they occur in the present. There's the past in u.
If u can be present enough to watch all those things, not critically or analytically but non-judgmentally, then u r dealing with the past and dissolving it through the power of ur presence.
You cannot find yourself by going into the past.
You find yourself by coming into the present.

As u become more conscious of ur present reality, u may suddenly get insight as to why ur conditioning functions in those particular ways. That is fine and helpful, but it is not essential.
What is essential is ur conscious presence. That dissolves the past. That is the the transformative agent.
So don't seek to understand the past, but to be as present as u can.
The past cannot survive in ur presence. The past can only survive in ur absence.

Soul - amen.


Feb 3 Evenin
For d first time, didn't do meditation in d evenin. Was late today at hairstylist. Also, I don't wan to force myself. Jus let things be. Ego tot came on CEO iphone thingy, again another issue. Good thing is I stayed present despite many rounds of future fear tot. I told ego, I will handle it when it comes. Need not worry abt it now.
The power of now is really true. Jus focus on my tot n stay present. When m present, m conscious. (Glad I stay present, turn out, she was jus using the number for spare, going forward jus one phone only - iphone)

Bhagavad Gita
Devotee has behold Spirit as the Lord of Senses and is far enough advanced to be spoken of as the "Conqueror of Ignorance and "the Tormenter of the Sense Enemies through the Fire of Self Control" - yet has not attained an unshakable determination to subdue the senses.
He remains mentally inactive, neither advancing spiritually nor going backward.
Unable to decide, and finding the pull between virtue and vice of equal strength, he remains without further effort at meditation, inwardly saying "O God of the Universe! I will not go through the pitiable task of this slaughter".

Soul - mmm, like how I feel now. Jus now did shoonya in hair saloon and I felt d connection immediately.

Bhagavad
When the mind remain neutrtel while beholding the two opposite armies of self-control and sens temptation, it feels sad and discouraged; but the devotee who offer absolute resignation the the Divine Will hears the voice of Spirit thru his intuition.