Jun 3 Even
Jus had dinner wit an old friend. I used to be reserved with him cos I felt pricked. He reminds me of my brother, who always criticised and make fun of me, ie sarcasm. Tonite, I flourish, I jus be my cheerful self and we have such a blast. When I was sharing my office stories, they says that I looks like I am enjoying myself. Yea, I have to admit so and that's what my regional CFO said too.
Life is good. That was my mantra but now am living it. Father, thank u so much.
I told him that m now on 4 days week, I wan to do 3 days week, but difficult due to meetings. He suggested 3.5 days, so I can then still have half day off on Thursday. Good idea.
The Company think they have me 4 days and I have my 2nd half free to meet friends and etc and leave Friday available for personal hobby.
Osho
Living each moment as this is the first and the last moment is the way of enlightenment.
Life is a dialectical phenomenon. Life is always moving from one extreme to another extreme. Most of us don't wan to be troubled by all these changes. We wan a certain beautiful state, and to remain in it forever. But then u will be dead, and that beautiful space will not stay beautiful long enough; you have to lose it again and again to keep it fresh and beautiful.
(June 11 - alas, is ok...let the rship with my CEO cracked..only true acceptance of her can led me to accept myself...)
Soul
Last April/mid May days, I was on a low cycle, after such high in Feb/Mac and now in June, without any doing of mine, I am up again this 1 week. I will learn to go with the flow.
Osho
Don't ask life to be permanent at a single experience. Allow life to take you into all of its dimensions. Whatever life offers to you, enjoy it.
Soul
This is the key word. Whenever I share my life, people keep on saying, looks like I am enjoying myself at work, with CEO, with my family, with people, with my life. I am.
Osho
This is the golden key into a spiritual beatitude ...not permanency but a flux, a river-like flux. Sometimes its mountainous, and sometimes in the plains, sometimes ocean, sometimes moving into the cloud and sometimes it is raining.
Accept the whole circle of life. In this acceptability is your authentic religiousness.
So whenever u touch a height, enjoy the height; whenever you touch the bottom, enjoy the bottom.
One thing should remain continuously flowing in you - the enjoyment. Giggle within yourself when u r beyond yourself, and giggle within yourself when u r within yourself ... giggling should continue.
Make life a laughter when great things are happening, and when nothing is happening, laughter should continue.
Soul
Just now without any tot, I was laughing so much in d car. Nothing happen, I just feel happy. Jus thinkin life is good. I am thankful to God.
Osho
Laughter is almost the shrine of the witness.
Within the laughter, you will always find the watcher. And to become a watcher without discontinuity, without gaps, is all about that is meant by enlightenment.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Samyama - definitely got something (9)
Jun 3
This mornin did meditation. Got answer on S and W. Leave W first. Work on S, do humanmetrics and he need to stay positive. Just like I need to stay positive too.
Father, my mode is acceptance. Whatever good or bad in me, I accept. Cos if I reject myself, how can I expect the world to accept me.
Both good and bad is 2 sides of a coin. To reject one is to reject another.
Osho
When we close our eyes, we are never alone, as we begin to see the same images we have seen wit open eyes. Tots, imagination, dreams and daydreeam surround us from all sides. The world is again wit us.
This inner world of tots, dreams and images can be dropped. It is not that difficult. It is there because we want it to be there; it exists with our cooperation.
And it will disappear the moment we withdraw our cooperation. Not only our enjoyment, even our aversion to it helps to keep it going.
When we neither identify ourselves with something nor condemn it, when we are neither interested in remembering something nor in forgetting it, then the thing drops and disappears on its own; we don't have to do anything. It becomes irrelevant and meaningless, and so it removes itself from the screen of mind.
Soul
Not only from mind, but from manifestation too.
Ironically when I dropped my initial resistance on ex PA and even fight for her case in Regional, suddenly she has another offer and decline us.
Osho
The objectless awareness is alone; it is aloness. And one who attains to this aloneness attains to non attachment. The very experiencing of this consciousness, empty and alone is non attachment.
He knows that self-nature and non attachment are inseparably together and he also knows that attachment and aversion are just behaviour.
Having known and understood it in depth, he is not going to behave the same as before.
His behaviour with the outside world will be radically different because for him the world has ceased to be what it was before.
His consciousness has undergone a mutation. It is no more like a film or camera; now it is like a mirror.
A mirror reflects everything that appears before it, but unlike the camera, it does not retain impression when the object has moved away from it.
Soul
Reminds me somewhat of the change in me. So much drama at work, but somehow they not attched to me.
When m not at work, I don't think of the drama. It just goes off.
Currently, the only one that stayed in my mind is the romantic scene korean drama and it stayed becos I find it pleasurable.
Tot of d situation between S and W. I don't like it and std mode is to resolve it. Perhaps, I will jus go beyond it. The situation is not serious, and only my projection is serious. Besides, W cried and that means she is equaly affected. Jus contine to accept both.
Osho
One comes to non attachment, when after long suffering, he turns in and discovers his self nature, his center, the center of the cyclone.
When all the darkness of the mind, of the unconscious is dispelled, the point of non attachment becomes visible.
And one who achieves this third point of non attachment achieves godliness. He achieves everything that is worth achieving. Once he knows that he can remain non-attached in every situation, he can afford to play the roles of attachment and aversion.
By turning inward one attains to non attachment. And turning in is possible only if you become a witness - a watcher on the hill.
Begin witnessing from any point of life and u will reach ur innermost depth. And the moment u arrive at ur center, u r non attached, u r like a lotus in water. The lotus is born in water, lives in water and yet remain untouched by it.
Soul
Yes.
Nine of club
You are ready to awaken to a new and higher way of thinking that will be better than you have imagined. The Nine of Clubs has been known to signal a time when powerful spiritual experiences may occur, such as universal consciousness, and also indicates the success of any endeavors that involve spreading higher truths to the world.
Soul
Suddenly got idea of how to resolve SY issue. It must have been U. Thank u.
This mornin did meditation. Got answer on S and W. Leave W first. Work on S, do humanmetrics and he need to stay positive. Just like I need to stay positive too.
Father, my mode is acceptance. Whatever good or bad in me, I accept. Cos if I reject myself, how can I expect the world to accept me.
Both good and bad is 2 sides of a coin. To reject one is to reject another.
Osho
When we close our eyes, we are never alone, as we begin to see the same images we have seen wit open eyes. Tots, imagination, dreams and daydreeam surround us from all sides. The world is again wit us.
This inner world of tots, dreams and images can be dropped. It is not that difficult. It is there because we want it to be there; it exists with our cooperation.
And it will disappear the moment we withdraw our cooperation. Not only our enjoyment, even our aversion to it helps to keep it going.
When we neither identify ourselves with something nor condemn it, when we are neither interested in remembering something nor in forgetting it, then the thing drops and disappears on its own; we don't have to do anything. It becomes irrelevant and meaningless, and so it removes itself from the screen of mind.
Soul
Not only from mind, but from manifestation too.
Ironically when I dropped my initial resistance on ex PA and even fight for her case in Regional, suddenly she has another offer and decline us.
Osho
The objectless awareness is alone; it is aloness. And one who attains to this aloneness attains to non attachment. The very experiencing of this consciousness, empty and alone is non attachment.
He knows that self-nature and non attachment are inseparably together and he also knows that attachment and aversion are just behaviour.
Having known and understood it in depth, he is not going to behave the same as before.
His behaviour with the outside world will be radically different because for him the world has ceased to be what it was before.
His consciousness has undergone a mutation. It is no more like a film or camera; now it is like a mirror.
A mirror reflects everything that appears before it, but unlike the camera, it does not retain impression when the object has moved away from it.
Soul
Reminds me somewhat of the change in me. So much drama at work, but somehow they not attched to me.
When m not at work, I don't think of the drama. It just goes off.
Currently, the only one that stayed in my mind is the romantic scene korean drama and it stayed becos I find it pleasurable.
Tot of d situation between S and W. I don't like it and std mode is to resolve it. Perhaps, I will jus go beyond it. The situation is not serious, and only my projection is serious. Besides, W cried and that means she is equaly affected. Jus contine to accept both.
Osho
One comes to non attachment, when after long suffering, he turns in and discovers his self nature, his center, the center of the cyclone.
When all the darkness of the mind, of the unconscious is dispelled, the point of non attachment becomes visible.
And one who achieves this third point of non attachment achieves godliness. He achieves everything that is worth achieving. Once he knows that he can remain non-attached in every situation, he can afford to play the roles of attachment and aversion.
By turning inward one attains to non attachment. And turning in is possible only if you become a witness - a watcher on the hill.
Begin witnessing from any point of life and u will reach ur innermost depth. And the moment u arrive at ur center, u r non attached, u r like a lotus in water. The lotus is born in water, lives in water and yet remain untouched by it.
Soul
Yes.
Nine of club
You are ready to awaken to a new and higher way of thinking that will be better than you have imagined. The Nine of Clubs has been known to signal a time when powerful spiritual experiences may occur, such as universal consciousness, and also indicates the success of any endeavors that involve spreading higher truths to the world.
Soul
Suddenly got idea of how to resolve SY issue. It must have been U. Thank u.
Samyama - definitely got something (8)
Jun 2 Even
Aiyoh. So much drama. Ex PA last minute decline offer as she found a better job. Am happy for her. She told me, she dreaded comin back. When she said yes to CEO last nite, she couldn't sleep. She asked herself if she really wanted to and this mornin got a call for 2nd interview and got the job she wanted. She really doesn't want to come back.
So, really a new card for CEO.
As for me, looks PA is right, my pluto challenge of 10 club is not ex-PA.
Was bit troubled of the extent that S is disturbed by W. Was checkin d card, anyway, let it be for now. S needs to learn to be positive. As for me, still has not figure out a plan. Main thing is that I don't wan to project my past hurt to W.
As for ex PA. Something changed in me. As usual, she reiterate that despite her being at high spiritual level, she still need to work on trusting the Universe. Normally, I wld be irritated but just now I laughed and says she is cute.
What's happening to me??
Earlier before I met her, I tot I be irritated abt her usual high handedness, but instead I find her cute, think its funny and laugh it off.
Osho
Watching is easiest while you are laughing, because laughing is not a serious act, laughing is natural.
Laughing creates in you an atmosphere of silence. If your laughter is really total, mind stops.
Remember to watch as u giggle or laugh.
Aiyoh. So much drama. Ex PA last minute decline offer as she found a better job. Am happy for her. She told me, she dreaded comin back. When she said yes to CEO last nite, she couldn't sleep. She asked herself if she really wanted to and this mornin got a call for 2nd interview and got the job she wanted. She really doesn't want to come back.
So, really a new card for CEO.
As for me, looks PA is right, my pluto challenge of 10 club is not ex-PA.
Was bit troubled of the extent that S is disturbed by W. Was checkin d card, anyway, let it be for now. S needs to learn to be positive. As for me, still has not figure out a plan. Main thing is that I don't wan to project my past hurt to W.
As for ex PA. Something changed in me. As usual, she reiterate that despite her being at high spiritual level, she still need to work on trusting the Universe. Normally, I wld be irritated but just now I laughed and says she is cute.
What's happening to me??
Earlier before I met her, I tot I be irritated abt her usual high handedness, but instead I find her cute, think its funny and laugh it off.
Osho
Watching is easiest while you are laughing, because laughing is not a serious act, laughing is natural.
Laughing creates in you an atmosphere of silence. If your laughter is really total, mind stops.
Remember to watch as u giggle or laugh.
Negative attachment is as much attachment as positive attachment
Jun 2
Osho
1. The issue
Ice-olation.
We are miserable because we are too much in the self. To be in the self, means to be apart, to be separate. To draw a boundary line around you. And it makes u frozen - u r no longer flowing.
All of us might feel that the only way to survive is to close off our feelings and emotions so we can't be hurt again. If our pain is particularly deep, we might even try to hide it from ourselves.
Soul
Father, try to pr isha but looks like it is difficult. And I tot if this is difficult, how can I pr myself in future. How can I tot of being a transformational leader.
Of cos, first response is to let go cos don't wan to feel rejected by the media. I guess this card ask me to continue.
2. Internal influence u r unable to see.
Flowering.
Your life should reach out to others. Your blissfulness, your benediction, your ecstasy should not be contained within you like a seed. It shld open like a flower and spread its fragrance to all and sundry - not only to friends but to strangers too.
Do not be concerend about whether they land on soil or on rocks. Just spread your joy.
Soul
Joy am spreading and I know its contagious. But how to spread isha. I guess this card ask me to preserve.
3. External influence of which u r aware
Ripeness.
You are ready to share ur inner riches, ur 'juice". Jus relax where u are and be willing for it to happen.
The sharing of urself comes in many areas.
4. What is needed for resolution?
The Source
Zen asks u to come out of the head and got to the basic source.
When we begin a creative project, it is this Source that we tune into. And we tap into it not by thinking and planning but by getting grounded, centred and silent enough to be in contact with the source.
Soul
Mmm. Just meditate n be watchful.
5. Resolution
Breakthrough.
Meditation will help u to go thru the chaos, through dark night of the soul. The dawn is not far away, but before u reach the dawn, the dark night has to be passed through. And as the dawn comes closer, the night becomes darker.
Soul
Jus ride it out.
Osho
It is really difficult to teach a friend, to be his teacher. It is difficult even to be an advisor to an intimate friend. If u try, he will say, "Shut up, don't show ur wisdom"
Soul
Tell me about it.
Osho
The reason we imitate others is that we don't want to take the trouble of understanding ourselves. It is convenient to live in somebody else's shadow and imitate him;it is a way to escape the ardous task of understanding ourselves.
Understanding begins when someone ceases to imitate others, to be like others, when he wants to know directly who he is and what he can be.
Persons like Krishna, Buddha and Christ, are the exquisite flowerings of individuality, they are not carbon copies of others.
Osho
Negative attachment is as much attachment as positive attachment.
Non attachment is altogether different; it is freedom from both the positive and the negative kinds of attchment. Non attachment means one is neither attached to something nor averse to it.
Non attachment is transcendence of both attachment and aversion.
A non attached mind, according to Krishna, is one who accepts everything unconditionally. The interesting thing is that if u accept something totally, it does not leave a mark, a scar on ur mind; ur mind remains unscathed and undisturbed.
But when u cling strongly to a thing, it leaves a mark on ur mind. And when u strongly averse to something, u detest and deny it, then also it leaves a mark on ur mind.
When u become like a mirror, reflecting everything that comes before it, then ur mind remain unscathed and unmarked.
Non attachment is our self-nature, we are born with it. So, it is strange that in life, we all become victims of attachment and aversion.
Soul
Yday when my ex-staff resigned as PA. I accepted it and didn't carried it forward. And mind didn't think of it.
Osho
1. The issue
Ice-olation.
We are miserable because we are too much in the self. To be in the self, means to be apart, to be separate. To draw a boundary line around you. And it makes u frozen - u r no longer flowing.
All of us might feel that the only way to survive is to close off our feelings and emotions so we can't be hurt again. If our pain is particularly deep, we might even try to hide it from ourselves.
Soul
Father, try to pr isha but looks like it is difficult. And I tot if this is difficult, how can I pr myself in future. How can I tot of being a transformational leader.
Of cos, first response is to let go cos don't wan to feel rejected by the media. I guess this card ask me to continue.
2. Internal influence u r unable to see.
Flowering.
Your life should reach out to others. Your blissfulness, your benediction, your ecstasy should not be contained within you like a seed. It shld open like a flower and spread its fragrance to all and sundry - not only to friends but to strangers too.
Do not be concerend about whether they land on soil or on rocks. Just spread your joy.
Soul
Joy am spreading and I know its contagious. But how to spread isha. I guess this card ask me to preserve.
3. External influence of which u r aware
Ripeness.
You are ready to share ur inner riches, ur 'juice". Jus relax where u are and be willing for it to happen.
The sharing of urself comes in many areas.
4. What is needed for resolution?
The Source
Zen asks u to come out of the head and got to the basic source.
When we begin a creative project, it is this Source that we tune into. And we tap into it not by thinking and planning but by getting grounded, centred and silent enough to be in contact with the source.
Soul
Mmm. Just meditate n be watchful.
5. Resolution
Breakthrough.
Meditation will help u to go thru the chaos, through dark night of the soul. The dawn is not far away, but before u reach the dawn, the dark night has to be passed through. And as the dawn comes closer, the night becomes darker.
Soul
Jus ride it out.
Osho
It is really difficult to teach a friend, to be his teacher. It is difficult even to be an advisor to an intimate friend. If u try, he will say, "Shut up, don't show ur wisdom"
Soul
Tell me about it.
Osho
The reason we imitate others is that we don't want to take the trouble of understanding ourselves. It is convenient to live in somebody else's shadow and imitate him;it is a way to escape the ardous task of understanding ourselves.
Understanding begins when someone ceases to imitate others, to be like others, when he wants to know directly who he is and what he can be.
Persons like Krishna, Buddha and Christ, are the exquisite flowerings of individuality, they are not carbon copies of others.
Osho
Negative attachment is as much attachment as positive attachment.
Non attachment is altogether different; it is freedom from both the positive and the negative kinds of attchment. Non attachment means one is neither attached to something nor averse to it.
Non attachment is transcendence of both attachment and aversion.
A non attached mind, according to Krishna, is one who accepts everything unconditionally. The interesting thing is that if u accept something totally, it does not leave a mark, a scar on ur mind; ur mind remains unscathed and undisturbed.
But when u cling strongly to a thing, it leaves a mark on ur mind. And when u strongly averse to something, u detest and deny it, then also it leaves a mark on ur mind.
When u become like a mirror, reflecting everything that comes before it, then ur mind remain unscathed and unmarked.
Non attachment is our self-nature, we are born with it. So, it is strange that in life, we all become victims of attachment and aversion.
Soul
Yday when my ex-staff resigned as PA. I accepted it and didn't carried it forward. And mind didn't think of it.
Good memory doesn't equate to intelligence
Jun 1 Evening
Father, another change. My ex-staff resigned as CEO's PA and that's means old PA coming back. I would says I don't prefer her back cos lots of drama. We were enjoying some peace and quiet. P says that old PA will be proud, but then perhaps not if she realised that her prospect is not good. Wonder whether she learnt her lesson. Or perhaps, I haven't learnt mine. Is this what my pluto 10 club card is about?? So, was not positive abt it. Cos when she is around, loads of drama. And besides she like to judge me. Well, I have grown up. And now its her turn.
The only saving grace is that with her around, I can escape from being CEO's lunch partner. Anyway, who knows, perhaps she comes to learn from me. And this time, I am ready.
Osho
It is very common experience that intelligent people have not very good memories, and vice versa; the people who have good memories have never been found to be very intelligent. Sometimes idiots have great memories because their whole energy is involved in their memory, they don't have any intelligence.
Soul
I who always lament that I don't have good memories especially when it comes to figure. Turns out, I could be intelligent.
Osho
Intelligence is the power to face a new situation about which you know nothing. Memory is a reaction.
Soul
Exactly. That's what I did during exam. I never do revision kit. I just go straight for the exam.
Father, another change. My ex-staff resigned as CEO's PA and that's means old PA coming back. I would says I don't prefer her back cos lots of drama. We were enjoying some peace and quiet. P says that old PA will be proud, but then perhaps not if she realised that her prospect is not good. Wonder whether she learnt her lesson. Or perhaps, I haven't learnt mine. Is this what my pluto 10 club card is about?? So, was not positive abt it. Cos when she is around, loads of drama. And besides she like to judge me. Well, I have grown up. And now its her turn.
The only saving grace is that with her around, I can escape from being CEO's lunch partner. Anyway, who knows, perhaps she comes to learn from me. And this time, I am ready.
Osho
It is very common experience that intelligent people have not very good memories, and vice versa; the people who have good memories have never been found to be very intelligent. Sometimes idiots have great memories because their whole energy is involved in their memory, they don't have any intelligence.
Soul
I who always lament that I don't have good memories especially when it comes to figure. Turns out, I could be intelligent.
Osho
Intelligence is the power to face a new situation about which you know nothing. Memory is a reaction.
Soul
Exactly. That's what I did during exam. I never do revision kit. I just go straight for the exam.
When you flower, you reach God
Jun 1
Father, I know not what is to be. I am now practising a sense of gratefulness. Yday you arranged for me to see ex-colleague car and I followed her home. Thanks for the alternative route.
This mornin, I laughed lightly after hatha and also shambavi. It has been a long while since I laugh in the mornin practices. Amen. I am thankful for the meditation.
Osho
One cannot attain to godliness unless he becomes like the lion among animals, like the spring among the seasons, like the Ganges among the rivers.
One comes to God only when one attains to one's own fullest flowering, not otherwise.
The law of growth, a universal law which is that when u draw out the best in you, when u actualise ur highest potential you become God.
War doesn't destroy people, rather they awaken their sleeping energy and rouse their heroism. It is only in moments of war when a community touches the highest peaks of its being. It is only in moments of challenge that a people becomes fully alike and awake.
Soul
Slowly but surely understand my challenges is to awaken me. 7thunder already confirmed I have hidden spiritual talents. I only require circumstances to reveal them.
Osho
If there is a distance between your potential and actual states of being, it means you are yet on the way to ur destiny. And godliness is everybody's destiny.
When that which is hidden in you become manifest, you are God. Right now, u r part hidden and part manifest, you are on the way to flowering. You have yet to burst into a full spring.
Soul
Thanks U.
Father, I know not what is to be. I am now practising a sense of gratefulness. Yday you arranged for me to see ex-colleague car and I followed her home. Thanks for the alternative route.
This mornin, I laughed lightly after hatha and also shambavi. It has been a long while since I laugh in the mornin practices. Amen. I am thankful for the meditation.
Osho
One cannot attain to godliness unless he becomes like the lion among animals, like the spring among the seasons, like the Ganges among the rivers.
One comes to God only when one attains to one's own fullest flowering, not otherwise.
The law of growth, a universal law which is that when u draw out the best in you, when u actualise ur highest potential you become God.
War doesn't destroy people, rather they awaken their sleeping energy and rouse their heroism. It is only in moments of war when a community touches the highest peaks of its being. It is only in moments of challenge that a people becomes fully alike and awake.
Soul
Slowly but surely understand my challenges is to awaken me. 7thunder already confirmed I have hidden spiritual talents. I only require circumstances to reveal them.
Osho
If there is a distance between your potential and actual states of being, it means you are yet on the way to ur destiny. And godliness is everybody's destiny.
When that which is hidden in you become manifest, you are God. Right now, u r part hidden and part manifest, you are on the way to flowering. You have yet to burst into a full spring.
Soul
Thanks U.
God never descends to us; we have to ascend to God.
May 31
Father, thank u for guiding me, having me.
I am grateful and I think everytime feeling of lack came, i have You.
Osho
If someone holds the key to ur samadhi, it means it is only a psychic, a deep psychological samadhi, and not a full experience of the absolute. It does not trancend ur mind.
All growth in the world happens at the level of the individual. The journey of consciousness and its progress begins wit individuals, while its attainment, its culmination is cosmic.
The source of all consciousness is universal, but its expression is always individual.
You are an individual consciousness at the moment and when you will lose your identity as individual consciousness, you will attain universal consciousness. But then ur experience of universal consciousness cannot become everybody's experience, it will remain yours.
God never descends to us; we have to ascend to God.
Father, thank u for guiding me, having me.
I am grateful and I think everytime feeling of lack came, i have You.
Osho
If someone holds the key to ur samadhi, it means it is only a psychic, a deep psychological samadhi, and not a full experience of the absolute. It does not trancend ur mind.
All growth in the world happens at the level of the individual. The journey of consciousness and its progress begins wit individuals, while its attainment, its culmination is cosmic.
The source of all consciousness is universal, but its expression is always individual.
You are an individual consciousness at the moment and when you will lose your identity as individual consciousness, you will attain universal consciousness. But then ur experience of universal consciousness cannot become everybody's experience, it will remain yours.
God never descends to us; we have to ascend to God.
Gratitude is prayer...
May 30
Osho
Unless u r capable of saying "No", your "Yes" is meaningless. You cannot do anything; you have to say, "Yes", the "No" simply does not arise in u.
Rabindranath Tagore
I never read the scriptures; infact I avoid them, because I have my own experience of the divine, and I don't want others' words to be mixed with my original, authentic, individual experience. I want to offer to God exactly what is my heartbeat.
Others may have known - certainly others have known - but their knowledge cannot be my knowledge. Only my experience can satisfy me, can fulfill my search, can give me trust in existence.
I don't want to be a believer.
I want to be a knower.
I don't want to be knowledgeable, I want to be innocent enough so that existence reveals its mysteries to me.
Every man contains God, every cloud, every tree, every ocean is full of godliness, so who is to worship whom!
Soul
What a great trip! We have so much laughter and jokes.
Laughter came whenever I swam. And the laughter so great. This is despite me not meditating for 3 days. The joy is in me.
We enjoyed each other company. So much joy. Father, thanks to you.
Osho
Once something starts happening, then there is trouble, once something starts growing in ur life that is not growing in the hearts of the crowd that surrounds you, you will be a stranger, you will be an outsider. The crowd never forgives stranger nor outsiders. It has to destroy them just for its own peace of mind.
Soul
My laughter that's come on its own. I just feel joyful and stomach starts rumbling and laughter came. There is no reason to laugh. But I jus laugh involuntarily. Later when the laughter has manifested, I start to feel joyful and laughter increased.
Today I saw a handsome Englishman and then I saw his wife. First tot was slight envious and tot d gal was below him. Immediately alternative tot. Be happy that eventhough she seem under him, she still have him. My awareness is getting stronger.
But I do wonder what's next for me.
Osho
Never be greedy and never be concerned with trivia, and your movement towards greater silences of the heart will become easier everyday.
Be loving, be joyous, and be always thankful for whatever is happening to you.
Life is giving you so much that your thankfulness is always going to fall short. But the thankful heart grows easily, with gratitude, you are nourished.
You become stronger in moving towards the unknown.
Except gratitude, there is no other prayer.
Osho
Unless u r capable of saying "No", your "Yes" is meaningless. You cannot do anything; you have to say, "Yes", the "No" simply does not arise in u.
Rabindranath Tagore
I never read the scriptures; infact I avoid them, because I have my own experience of the divine, and I don't want others' words to be mixed with my original, authentic, individual experience. I want to offer to God exactly what is my heartbeat.
Others may have known - certainly others have known - but their knowledge cannot be my knowledge. Only my experience can satisfy me, can fulfill my search, can give me trust in existence.
I don't want to be a believer.
I want to be a knower.
I don't want to be knowledgeable, I want to be innocent enough so that existence reveals its mysteries to me.
Every man contains God, every cloud, every tree, every ocean is full of godliness, so who is to worship whom!
Soul
What a great trip! We have so much laughter and jokes.
Laughter came whenever I swam. And the laughter so great. This is despite me not meditating for 3 days. The joy is in me.
We enjoyed each other company. So much joy. Father, thanks to you.
Osho
Once something starts happening, then there is trouble, once something starts growing in ur life that is not growing in the hearts of the crowd that surrounds you, you will be a stranger, you will be an outsider. The crowd never forgives stranger nor outsiders. It has to destroy them just for its own peace of mind.
Soul
My laughter that's come on its own. I just feel joyful and stomach starts rumbling and laughter came. There is no reason to laugh. But I jus laugh involuntarily. Later when the laughter has manifested, I start to feel joyful and laughter increased.
Today I saw a handsome Englishman and then I saw his wife. First tot was slight envious and tot d gal was below him. Immediately alternative tot. Be happy that eventhough she seem under him, she still have him. My awareness is getting stronger.
But I do wonder what's next for me.
Osho
Never be greedy and never be concerned with trivia, and your movement towards greater silences of the heart will become easier everyday.
Be loving, be joyous, and be always thankful for whatever is happening to you.
Life is giving you so much that your thankfulness is always going to fall short. But the thankful heart grows easily, with gratitude, you are nourished.
You become stronger in moving towards the unknown.
Except gratitude, there is no other prayer.
Divinity depends on the individual and his efforts
May 27
Father, this mornin. I woke up 4.15 without waitin for alarm clock. Was feelin sleepy cos was dreaming. But I told myself, this is my path.
Osho
It is true that God descends, but He descends only on those who ascend to him. A great deal depends on the individual and his efforts. Divine energy descends on those who prepare themselves for it, who deserve it.
God is always available, but only to those who aspire and strive for him. And it is always the individual, not a collective/society, who walks the path to God. And he has to go alone.
Soul
Yeap.
Osho
The journey begins with the mind, and ends with the no mind, cessation of the mind. In the mind; words, forms, images. The mind cannot exist in emptiness.
If someone becomes an instrument of the existence on its own accord, his individuality will achieve his ultimate flowering. If he surrenders with full understanding and joy, then his individuality, instead of being crippled, attains to full flowering and fruition. Then he is his own master. And there is no better way of proclaiming one's master than the way of surrender.
Only a fearful person wants to frighten and dominate others just to assuage his own fear. A really fearless person never tries to dominate others. He loves everybody's freedom as much as he loves his own. A fearful man is always afraid that if he does not dominate others, others will dominate him. To be on offensive is the best defense for fearful person.
June 11
Soul
These days...I allow others their freedom of choice, even freedom to make mistakes...
Looking at this reminds me of my boss and her attack on me...Her mode is always on the offensive side...
Father, this mornin. I woke up 4.15 without waitin for alarm clock. Was feelin sleepy cos was dreaming. But I told myself, this is my path.
Osho
It is true that God descends, but He descends only on those who ascend to him. A great deal depends on the individual and his efforts. Divine energy descends on those who prepare themselves for it, who deserve it.
God is always available, but only to those who aspire and strive for him. And it is always the individual, not a collective/society, who walks the path to God. And he has to go alone.
Soul
Yeap.
Osho
The journey begins with the mind, and ends with the no mind, cessation of the mind. In the mind; words, forms, images. The mind cannot exist in emptiness.
If someone becomes an instrument of the existence on its own accord, his individuality will achieve his ultimate flowering. If he surrenders with full understanding and joy, then his individuality, instead of being crippled, attains to full flowering and fruition. Then he is his own master. And there is no better way of proclaiming one's master than the way of surrender.
Only a fearful person wants to frighten and dominate others just to assuage his own fear. A really fearless person never tries to dominate others. He loves everybody's freedom as much as he loves his own. A fearful man is always afraid that if he does not dominate others, others will dominate him. To be on offensive is the best defense for fearful person.
June 11
Soul
These days...I allow others their freedom of choice, even freedom to make mistakes...
Looking at this reminds me of my boss and her attack on me...Her mode is always on the offensive side...
Meditation manage ur mind
May 26 Even
Osho
All creativity is deep suffering, unless it is from meditation and not mind.
Mind is ur hell. It creates agony but never ecstasy
Learn to be more meditative, and let your creativity be secondary to your meditativeness. Then you will have a totally different state of being - that of ecstasy; and out of ecstasy, whatever is created has also some flavour of it.
It is a blissfulness that you want to share. And by sharing, it grow; you have more of it, the more it is shared.
Soul
This msg seem to indicate meditation is more important than chasing my destiny
Osho
All creativity is deep suffering, unless it is from meditation and not mind.
Mind is ur hell. It creates agony but never ecstasy
Learn to be more meditative, and let your creativity be secondary to your meditativeness. Then you will have a totally different state of being - that of ecstasy; and out of ecstasy, whatever is created has also some flavour of it.
It is a blissfulness that you want to share. And by sharing, it grow; you have more of it, the more it is shared.
Soul
This msg seem to indicate meditation is more important than chasing my destiny
Being joyful...enjoying my life
May 26
My regional boss says that I seem to be enjoying myself now. I told him, yeap. He ask if I tot of regional job. I says nope. He says I hold regional job previously and I replied that was years ago. I admit my ego did momentarily consider n tot of d opportunity. But a tot came in, don't go back. And besides u have to take care of ur health.
Checked to my next year long range card, Six of Spade - stability in most matter, need to watch out for health by eating balancely. Will also found my destiny/fate. My pluto lesson is 10 of club, sharing of knowledge, and mind can be working overtime. Result card is 10 of heart, achieving public success.
10 of club
They must learn to regain control over their mind which has developed somewhat of a life of its own.
The best path back to self-mastery is to direct the mind into right motives and higher principles.
The strong desire for spiritual wisdom and study of spiritual philosophies will bring contact with many uplifting groups and will increase enjoyment of life.
Soul
Looks like I am on track. I think RA somehow keep me in check. And as for my weight gain, it will keep me in check for over indulgence.
Six of Spade - the card of FATE
The strongest of karma cards in the realms of work and health.
It is a settling of account if u have not been 'good'
It will cause a settling of all affairs and at the same time bring some much needed peace into ur life.
If during that time. U take some time to tune in to ur deepest tots and feelings, u may become aware of a special message for u that comes from inside.
This message may lead u to perform a special mission in ur life, one that uplifts others in some important way.
Osho
Krishna's inaction is on the absence of the doer, not on the absence of action itself.
He who accepts life in its totality need not compromise at all. Or u can say, he has already made his peace, his compromise.
Hesitation is good but to be always in a state of hesitation is not good.
Hesitancy is the transitional stage of the beginning of the journey. Hesitation has to be transcended at the point where both sides of truth are seen as one and inseparable.
Tessie Lim
Think of ur life's greatest ambition. What will u do that will get u one step closer to living ur dream? Name ur greatest strength. What are some ways u can nourish this gift? Do u know ur weaknessess? How would you effectively overcome these? What does ur future self look like, sound like, and feel like? Is that image compelling enough for u to put all ur energy behind achieving it?
It's all about implementation ... Success is in what we do, not what we say. Is there anything standing beside you and ur goal? What are the worst possible challenges u could face? How could u guard against them? What are u assuming? What if u r wrong? To self-correct, what actions would u take?
Its great that u have goals, but without a strategy, there isn't enough energy to sustain the momentum of going forward and ultimately we buckle at the slightest challenge.
Well thought-out action plan complete with steps and stages so that we can track and measure success. Unless we set benchmarks, we are unlikely to manage the process of achieving our dreams.
Are u fully committed to ur personal development?
Do u have an action plan that will make u unstoppable? Who will hold u accountable to this outcome?
Aren't coaches like any psychiatrist? Aren't coaches for people who have problem? Au contraine.
A coach is for those committed to excellence.
The opposite of excellence? Frustration, hopelessness, the feeling of being stuck.
Are u flying high or merely existing! What if u had excellence in every area of ur life.
Soul
This mornin, surprisingly read Expat and got some msg that Action plan is required. I will proceed.
My regional boss says that I seem to be enjoying myself now. I told him, yeap. He ask if I tot of regional job. I says nope. He says I hold regional job previously and I replied that was years ago. I admit my ego did momentarily consider n tot of d opportunity. But a tot came in, don't go back. And besides u have to take care of ur health.
Checked to my next year long range card, Six of Spade - stability in most matter, need to watch out for health by eating balancely. Will also found my destiny/fate. My pluto lesson is 10 of club, sharing of knowledge, and mind can be working overtime. Result card is 10 of heart, achieving public success.
10 of club
They must learn to regain control over their mind which has developed somewhat of a life of its own.
The best path back to self-mastery is to direct the mind into right motives and higher principles.
The strong desire for spiritual wisdom and study of spiritual philosophies will bring contact with many uplifting groups and will increase enjoyment of life.
Soul
Looks like I am on track. I think RA somehow keep me in check. And as for my weight gain, it will keep me in check for over indulgence.
Six of Spade - the card of FATE
The strongest of karma cards in the realms of work and health.
It is a settling of account if u have not been 'good'
It will cause a settling of all affairs and at the same time bring some much needed peace into ur life.
If during that time. U take some time to tune in to ur deepest tots and feelings, u may become aware of a special message for u that comes from inside.
This message may lead u to perform a special mission in ur life, one that uplifts others in some important way.
Osho
Krishna's inaction is on the absence of the doer, not on the absence of action itself.
He who accepts life in its totality need not compromise at all. Or u can say, he has already made his peace, his compromise.
Hesitation is good but to be always in a state of hesitation is not good.
Hesitancy is the transitional stage of the beginning of the journey. Hesitation has to be transcended at the point where both sides of truth are seen as one and inseparable.
Tessie Lim
Think of ur life's greatest ambition. What will u do that will get u one step closer to living ur dream? Name ur greatest strength. What are some ways u can nourish this gift? Do u know ur weaknessess? How would you effectively overcome these? What does ur future self look like, sound like, and feel like? Is that image compelling enough for u to put all ur energy behind achieving it?
It's all about implementation ... Success is in what we do, not what we say. Is there anything standing beside you and ur goal? What are the worst possible challenges u could face? How could u guard against them? What are u assuming? What if u r wrong? To self-correct, what actions would u take?
Its great that u have goals, but without a strategy, there isn't enough energy to sustain the momentum of going forward and ultimately we buckle at the slightest challenge.
Well thought-out action plan complete with steps and stages so that we can track and measure success. Unless we set benchmarks, we are unlikely to manage the process of achieving our dreams.
Are u fully committed to ur personal development?
Do u have an action plan that will make u unstoppable? Who will hold u accountable to this outcome?
Aren't coaches like any psychiatrist? Aren't coaches for people who have problem? Au contraine.
A coach is for those committed to excellence.
The opposite of excellence? Frustration, hopelessness, the feeling of being stuck.
Are u flying high or merely existing! What if u had excellence in every area of ur life.
Soul
This mornin, surprisingly read Expat and got some msg that Action plan is required. I will proceed.
Focus on my path (2)
May 25
Father, mmm looks like I am occupied with me weight. Aiyah, just let it be lah and like the grown up me.
I am ok wit my grown size. I was only afraid to grow bigger. And now this weekend to Penang. Anyway, consciousness is the key word.
Osho
1. The Issue - Schizophrenia
You are a marketplace - many voices. If u wan to say 'yes', immediately the 'no' is there. You cannot utter a simple word 'yes' with totality.
The only way out of this dilemma is, to let go of both pros and cons. You can't work ur way out of this one by solving it wit ur mind. Better follow ur heart. Just jump.
Soul
Yeap, I was in dilemma and even when I said yes and acted on it and issued all the promo emails to media and my friends. I felt bit regretful later on. Good thing is I hav this attribute of what's done is done, no point worrying abt it. Its opening up, its declaring. So far yday, no reply from friends except J and P.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
We are the World
Only in celebration, do we meet the ultimate, the eternal.
This card represent a time of communication, of sharing the riches that each of us brings to the whole.
This is a circle without fear of feelings of inferiority and superiority. When we recognise the common source of our humanity, the common origins of our dreams and longings, our hopes and fears, we are able to see that we are all joined together in the great miracle of existence.
Soul
Got a contact at NST and now need to sell it so that they can have regular articles. If not, at the very least one article 2 weeks before the IE pgrm.
3. External influence of which u r aware.
Understanding.
Jus drop clinging to the cage, move out and the whole sky is yours. Open ur wings and fly across the sun like an eagle.
You are being summoned by the grace and freedom and encouragement of the others.
It may feel a little shaky at first, and its ok. Just don't let it overshadow the opportinity to experience the lightheartedness and adventure on offer, right there alongside the shakiness.
Soul
Yep, I know. I am flying out. Still shaky, don't know the outcome. I jus know I have to do it cos its my path. I can't deny it any longer and I know if I don't do it, RA becomes worst due to the inner fight. I can remove the fight and my life path is known.
I may not know if I met my destiny in this lifetime, but at least I know my life path and I will follow it. I wan to go forward.
This mornin, I do feel bit tired and not looking forward my practices. But I told myself, this is my life path. Just do it. I did and surprisingly I wasn't as sleepy as I tot. And when my head/shoulder bend forward to touch the floor, it was so effortless as if I can just rest there.
Coincidentally, I just changed my phone screen image to flying birds in the sky.
4. What is needed for resolution
Receptivity.
Listening means forgetting yourself completely - only then u can listen
When u jus listen, u become a passage, a passivity, a receptivity, u become feminine.
God can reach you only when u r receptive.
Don't let ur head and aggressive mind to hinder ur pure receptivity.
Be grateful for whatever life brings, without any expectations or demands.
Neither duty or thought of merit or reward are important.
5. Resolution
Ice-olation.
We are miserable because we are too much in the self. To be in the self, means to make a distinction between 'this I am' and 'that I am not'.
The boundary between "I" and "not I" is what the self is --the self isolates. And it makes u frozen, u are no longer flowing. In love the boundaries disappear; in joy also the boundaries disappear, because joy is not cold.
We may have feel that the only way to survive is to close off our feelings and emotions so we can't be hurt again. If the pain is particularly deep, we might even try to hide it from ourselves.
Soul
I tot of this as not sure if people accept the meditative me. They laughed at the foodie me and think m inferior for not having any interest apart from food. Wonder if they laughed at me cos disbelief that I am into meditation. I wonder if they too would set expectation on me. I don't wan to open up cos I don't want to give people a chance to evaluate whether they approve / disapprove of me. I don't wan to take the test. Alas, I have taken. Now slight apprehensive abt result. Cos no reply means rejection. Of course, now I know no reply means they themselves not sure, not becos they disapprove of me. I wonder if they think m acting superior by going spiritual when I am so physical related.
Aiyah...ball has rolled.
Father, mmm looks like I am occupied with me weight. Aiyah, just let it be lah and like the grown up me.
I am ok wit my grown size. I was only afraid to grow bigger. And now this weekend to Penang. Anyway, consciousness is the key word.
Osho
1. The Issue - Schizophrenia
You are a marketplace - many voices. If u wan to say 'yes', immediately the 'no' is there. You cannot utter a simple word 'yes' with totality.
The only way out of this dilemma is, to let go of both pros and cons. You can't work ur way out of this one by solving it wit ur mind. Better follow ur heart. Just jump.
Soul
Yeap, I was in dilemma and even when I said yes and acted on it and issued all the promo emails to media and my friends. I felt bit regretful later on. Good thing is I hav this attribute of what's done is done, no point worrying abt it. Its opening up, its declaring. So far yday, no reply from friends except J and P.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
We are the World
Only in celebration, do we meet the ultimate, the eternal.
This card represent a time of communication, of sharing the riches that each of us brings to the whole.
This is a circle without fear of feelings of inferiority and superiority. When we recognise the common source of our humanity, the common origins of our dreams and longings, our hopes and fears, we are able to see that we are all joined together in the great miracle of existence.
Soul
Got a contact at NST and now need to sell it so that they can have regular articles. If not, at the very least one article 2 weeks before the IE pgrm.
3. External influence of which u r aware.
Understanding.
Jus drop clinging to the cage, move out and the whole sky is yours. Open ur wings and fly across the sun like an eagle.
You are being summoned by the grace and freedom and encouragement of the others.
It may feel a little shaky at first, and its ok. Just don't let it overshadow the opportinity to experience the lightheartedness and adventure on offer, right there alongside the shakiness.
Soul
Yep, I know. I am flying out. Still shaky, don't know the outcome. I jus know I have to do it cos its my path. I can't deny it any longer and I know if I don't do it, RA becomes worst due to the inner fight. I can remove the fight and my life path is known.
I may not know if I met my destiny in this lifetime, but at least I know my life path and I will follow it. I wan to go forward.
This mornin, I do feel bit tired and not looking forward my practices. But I told myself, this is my life path. Just do it. I did and surprisingly I wasn't as sleepy as I tot. And when my head/shoulder bend forward to touch the floor, it was so effortless as if I can just rest there.
Coincidentally, I just changed my phone screen image to flying birds in the sky.
4. What is needed for resolution
Receptivity.
Listening means forgetting yourself completely - only then u can listen
When u jus listen, u become a passage, a passivity, a receptivity, u become feminine.
God can reach you only when u r receptive.
Don't let ur head and aggressive mind to hinder ur pure receptivity.
Be grateful for whatever life brings, without any expectations or demands.
Neither duty or thought of merit or reward are important.
5. Resolution
Ice-olation.
We are miserable because we are too much in the self. To be in the self, means to make a distinction between 'this I am' and 'that I am not'.
The boundary between "I" and "not I" is what the self is --the self isolates. And it makes u frozen, u are no longer flowing. In love the boundaries disappear; in joy also the boundaries disappear, because joy is not cold.
We may have feel that the only way to survive is to close off our feelings and emotions so we can't be hurt again. If the pain is particularly deep, we might even try to hide it from ourselves.
Soul
I tot of this as not sure if people accept the meditative me. They laughed at the foodie me and think m inferior for not having any interest apart from food. Wonder if they laughed at me cos disbelief that I am into meditation. I wonder if they too would set expectation on me. I don't wan to open up cos I don't want to give people a chance to evaluate whether they approve / disapprove of me. I don't wan to take the test. Alas, I have taken. Now slight apprehensive abt result. Cos no reply means rejection. Of course, now I know no reply means they themselves not sure, not becos they disapprove of me. I wonder if they think m acting superior by going spiritual when I am so physical related.
Aiyah...ball has rolled.
Focus on my path
May 24
Was having a dream and feeling drowsy. Wish I didn't have to wake up. Then tot, this is my path. Jus do it.
Then second tot, bit apprehensive of how people will perceive. Wish I didn't disclose to people abt my meditation. Another tot, never mind, its time I open up. Need to go thru this transformation.
Had a good breathing meditation. Love it.
Father, had a small nudge today but car is fine.
Good thing I was late, bump into ec-colleague now working in same building. Got alternative. Thank u. Like I believe u know better. When it happen, I was fine and I tot u jus giving me a small nudge to push me ahead. Then n there I decide and behold u gave me alternative route, something I hav been asking.
Was having a dream and feeling drowsy. Wish I didn't have to wake up. Then tot, this is my path. Jus do it.
Then second tot, bit apprehensive of how people will perceive. Wish I didn't disclose to people abt my meditation. Another tot, never mind, its time I open up. Need to go thru this transformation.
Had a good breathing meditation. Love it.
Father, had a small nudge today but car is fine.
Good thing I was late, bump into ec-colleague now working in same building. Got alternative. Thank u. Like I believe u know better. When it happen, I was fine and I tot u jus giving me a small nudge to push me ahead. Then n there I decide and behold u gave me alternative route, something I hav been asking.
Counselling path
May 20 Even
Father, today I gave the biz idea and even outlined the agenda for CEO's talk with major client. She then present my idea to the Management team and they said that its fantastic idea. No matter, the outcome, there will be a direction forward.
Me, I m looking at myself. Gained weight. The input more than output. Next week still continue.
Jus now when doing meditation, a tot came, just be conscious in eating. Besides my aim is Self Mastery and definitely need to manage my food intake.
Actually, its not the intake that's big, its the output that is small. I used to be balanced by the energy used for work. Now I only use 50 percent energy and infact can actually do 3 days week in May.
Have dinner, focus on vege. Luckily the curry is ave and besides I already have chicken rice in the afternoon, so bit full. I ate the birthday cake, consciously taking a small slice. But it taste good and I wan to eat some more. But I didn't follow my tot.
Father, its time I look at my issue with food.
On my jupiter period - counseling. Called Befriender and they say no intake for this year. I admit I was relieved and text D wit a smile. She replied perhaps Befriender is either not meant to be for me yet and I am to find other things.
1 hour later received sms from an ex-colleague and she send me the course.
I text D again and she replied that Universe is not letting me go so easily.
Yeap, a sign to stay on track.
Jus read d course and I am keen, cos its 1 class in 1 qtr and total 4 qtr. Class start Sept. After the Basic 12 mth, there is an Advance 18 mth.
Yeap, I will take this.
Father, today I gave the biz idea and even outlined the agenda for CEO's talk with major client. She then present my idea to the Management team and they said that its fantastic idea. No matter, the outcome, there will be a direction forward.
Me, I m looking at myself. Gained weight. The input more than output. Next week still continue.
Jus now when doing meditation, a tot came, just be conscious in eating. Besides my aim is Self Mastery and definitely need to manage my food intake.
Actually, its not the intake that's big, its the output that is small. I used to be balanced by the energy used for work. Now I only use 50 percent energy and infact can actually do 3 days week in May.
Have dinner, focus on vege. Luckily the curry is ave and besides I already have chicken rice in the afternoon, so bit full. I ate the birthday cake, consciously taking a small slice. But it taste good and I wan to eat some more. But I didn't follow my tot.
Father, its time I look at my issue with food.
On my jupiter period - counseling. Called Befriender and they say no intake for this year. I admit I was relieved and text D wit a smile. She replied perhaps Befriender is either not meant to be for me yet and I am to find other things.
1 hour later received sms from an ex-colleague and she send me the course.
I text D again and she replied that Universe is not letting me go so easily.
Yeap, a sign to stay on track.
Jus read d course and I am keen, cos its 1 class in 1 qtr and total 4 qtr. Class start Sept. After the Basic 12 mth, there is an Advance 18 mth.
Yeap, I will take this.
Input more than output (2)
May 20
When I woke up at 4.30 am, was feeling drowsy cos I was dreaming. Then I got up and I perk myself up that my dream is have Self Mastery and I can achieve it via my spiritual path, but need to be hardworking and diligent. With that, I start my mornin practices.
This morning hatha yoga, I was laughing. It has been awhile already. I was even singing and dancing, something that has never happen for hatha before. Even Shambavi some giggle. It really has been too long since I hear laughter in the morning.
Father, I have gained weight. Firstly, when I came back from Samyama, deprived of meat and then follow with 1 week of conference and later continuous big lunches wit CEO. In general, double my normal intake. The jeans is even tight and its expensive n I don't wan to buy new jeans.
If I continue this way, I hav to do more exercise and I don't wan to pay such a big price for food intake. I am already having 7 days of exercise in the morning. That's more than enough.
Was contemplating on reducing breakfast portion. A tot came in, my natal chart says that as long as my weight fluctuate, its due to imbalance between giving and receiving.
I admit I haven't been giving. Even the latest politic among my staff, I was also reluctant to handle.
Tot of my Miser card and for me to be at the Source.
Now reading my resolution card - Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then you will enter the temple. True celebration arised from a joy that is first experienced deep within, and spills over to an overflow of song and dance.
Osho
Meditation - first level u wil touched individual unconsciousness and second level is collective unconsciousness and third level is cosmic unconscious.
When u passed ur individual stage, u r part of collective mind. Then u don't feel u r dancing - it feels that dance is going on and you are just a part of it. It does not seem that u r laughing, it seems laughter is happening and u r just a part of it.
Soul
I have experienced the collective unconscious. Especially the dance. Such coordination, no way is me. And the laughter, there is no emotion/feel, laughing sound is just there.
Osho
When u r in cosmic unconscious, your awareness undergoes a complete mutation. Then u cease to feel that u r a part of the whole, rather u know that u and the whole are one - u r totality.
Soul
Not sure if I have encountered.
Osho
Remembering u r divine, comes through relaxation, silence and emptiness. Jus be still and empty.
You are utterly mistaken if u think u r a doer; you are merely an instrument in the hands of divine.
Let it do what it wants to be done through you, and let go of yourself.
When I woke up at 4.30 am, was feeling drowsy cos I was dreaming. Then I got up and I perk myself up that my dream is have Self Mastery and I can achieve it via my spiritual path, but need to be hardworking and diligent. With that, I start my mornin practices.
This morning hatha yoga, I was laughing. It has been awhile already. I was even singing and dancing, something that has never happen for hatha before. Even Shambavi some giggle. It really has been too long since I hear laughter in the morning.
Father, I have gained weight. Firstly, when I came back from Samyama, deprived of meat and then follow with 1 week of conference and later continuous big lunches wit CEO. In general, double my normal intake. The jeans is even tight and its expensive n I don't wan to buy new jeans.
If I continue this way, I hav to do more exercise and I don't wan to pay such a big price for food intake. I am already having 7 days of exercise in the morning. That's more than enough.
Was contemplating on reducing breakfast portion. A tot came in, my natal chart says that as long as my weight fluctuate, its due to imbalance between giving and receiving.
I admit I haven't been giving. Even the latest politic among my staff, I was also reluctant to handle.
Tot of my Miser card and for me to be at the Source.
Now reading my resolution card - Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then you will enter the temple. True celebration arised from a joy that is first experienced deep within, and spills over to an overflow of song and dance.
Osho
Meditation - first level u wil touched individual unconsciousness and second level is collective unconsciousness and third level is cosmic unconscious.
When u passed ur individual stage, u r part of collective mind. Then u don't feel u r dancing - it feels that dance is going on and you are just a part of it. It does not seem that u r laughing, it seems laughter is happening and u r just a part of it.
Soul
I have experienced the collective unconscious. Especially the dance. Such coordination, no way is me. And the laughter, there is no emotion/feel, laughing sound is just there.
Osho
When u r in cosmic unconscious, your awareness undergoes a complete mutation. Then u cease to feel that u r a part of the whole, rather u know that u and the whole are one - u r totality.
Soul
Not sure if I have encountered.
Osho
Remembering u r divine, comes through relaxation, silence and emptiness. Jus be still and empty.
You are utterly mistaken if u think u r a doer; you are merely an instrument in the hands of divine.
Let it do what it wants to be done through you, and let go of yourself.
Ego down; Joy arise
May 19 Even
Osho
Man needs drugs because civilisation has dulled your senses. Drug is harmful, but to live without sensitivity is not to live at all. Drug cannot be stopped unless man is made sensitive again. Drugs will disappear once man becomes
sensitive again.
A sensitive person will feel that his sensitivity is lessened thru drugs, whereas a dull person will feel his sensitivity grows.
Ego is the greatest drug. LSD is nothing. Alcohol is nothing.
Ego keep you so drugged, so unconscious. Once the body attains to sensitivity, you will find joy through the body, great joy. Everything is joyful, looking at trees, swimming in the river, etc. You will be able to dance and sing if the body is resurrected.
Ego has to disappear, but not to be repressed, otherwise it will bubble up on a deeper level. When the ego disappear from the mind, knowledge disappears, knowing arises; you don't have any knowledge, but u have a capacity to know. You will have great insight. Scriptures disappear, borrowed knowledge becomes meaningless, your own knowing capacity arises. You have an inner lamp, and your silence grows.
Osho
Man needs drugs because civilisation has dulled your senses. Drug is harmful, but to live without sensitivity is not to live at all. Drug cannot be stopped unless man is made sensitive again. Drugs will disappear once man becomes
sensitive again.
A sensitive person will feel that his sensitivity is lessened thru drugs, whereas a dull person will feel his sensitivity grows.
Ego is the greatest drug. LSD is nothing. Alcohol is nothing.
Ego keep you so drugged, so unconscious. Once the body attains to sensitivity, you will find joy through the body, great joy. Everything is joyful, looking at trees, swimming in the river, etc. You will be able to dance and sing if the body is resurrected.
Ego has to disappear, but not to be repressed, otherwise it will bubble up on a deeper level. When the ego disappear from the mind, knowledge disappears, knowing arises; you don't have any knowledge, but u have a capacity to know. You will have great insight. Scriptures disappear, borrowed knowledge becomes meaningless, your own knowing capacity arises. You have an inner lamp, and your silence grows.
Mental stress
May 19
Father, these 2 weeks, noticed that my breathin meditation is out. Today, I think I may have dozed off too. Nevermind, this is a down time, just ride it.
This morning, finger also stiffer but it is not that bad. So, have faith.
Osho
The mental stress and tension the West is suffering from today is the the direct result of too much thinking. The anxiety and anguish of the West comes from thinking stretched to its ultimate. It is suffering under the crushing weight of the mind.
The whole of West has collectively reached a point where Chaitanya had once travelled individually. It is the same last frontier of mind and intellect, where Chaitanya absolutely tired of thinking and realised that it leads nowhere.
On their journey to unthinkable, some are taking drugs like LSD, some are going to ashram in India, Himalayan mountains and Zen monastries in Japan.
LSD cannot take them far, travel to India and Japan are not going to last long. Eventually, they will have to discover their own consciousness, their own soul, they cannot live long on credit.
A country that is suffering will look for Christ to alleviate their pain and suffering. Christian symbol of the cross comes closest to the agonised mind of this country.
A country that is affluent, can afford the dance and song of Krishna. Their only pain is that which stems from affluence. Their affluence is frightening; and they don't know what to do wit it.
Therefore Jesus's influence in India is growing, while it is declining in the West.
Osho
When one is given a seed word, it means with the help of this single word, he has to drop all other words which infest his mind.
If he does not have the courage to drop all words together once and for all, he is asked to hold on to a seed word, and to get rid of all other words with its help.
But ultimately, he will have to get rid of the seed word as well. The seed word cannot take him to the truth, but it can certainly take him to the gate of the temple of truth.
Soul
My question on Shoonya answered. I had dropped the seed word after 1 week.
Father, these 2 weeks, noticed that my breathin meditation is out. Today, I think I may have dozed off too. Nevermind, this is a down time, just ride it.
This morning, finger also stiffer but it is not that bad. So, have faith.
Osho
The mental stress and tension the West is suffering from today is the the direct result of too much thinking. The anxiety and anguish of the West comes from thinking stretched to its ultimate. It is suffering under the crushing weight of the mind.
The whole of West has collectively reached a point where Chaitanya had once travelled individually. It is the same last frontier of mind and intellect, where Chaitanya absolutely tired of thinking and realised that it leads nowhere.
On their journey to unthinkable, some are taking drugs like LSD, some are going to ashram in India, Himalayan mountains and Zen monastries in Japan.
LSD cannot take them far, travel to India and Japan are not going to last long. Eventually, they will have to discover their own consciousness, their own soul, they cannot live long on credit.
A country that is suffering will look for Christ to alleviate their pain and suffering. Christian symbol of the cross comes closest to the agonised mind of this country.
A country that is affluent, can afford the dance and song of Krishna. Their only pain is that which stems from affluence. Their affluence is frightening; and they don't know what to do wit it.
Therefore Jesus's influence in India is growing, while it is declining in the West.
Osho
When one is given a seed word, it means with the help of this single word, he has to drop all other words which infest his mind.
If he does not have the courage to drop all words together once and for all, he is asked to hold on to a seed word, and to get rid of all other words with its help.
But ultimately, he will have to get rid of the seed word as well. The seed word cannot take him to the truth, but it can certainly take him to the gate of the temple of truth.
Soul
My question on Shoonya answered. I had dropped the seed word after 1 week.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Self Understanding - the key (2)
May 18 evenin
Osho
One has to follow ego into one's being from body to mind, from mind to self, one has to seek and see all the hideouts.
Once you have known all the possibilities of ego-assertion, in that understanding, in that awareness, ego disappears.
When ego disappears, your body is different, your mind is different, your self is different.
You are in the body, but u r not the body.
You are no more the mind. You use the mind, it becomes an instrument but u r not identified wit it.
You use the self, but u r not identified with it.
Once u start coming out of ur limit, u r unlimited. You are as unlimited as the whole; you r the whole. There will be great transformations.
Your body will become more affectionate, more warm. Your body will have the quality of weightlessness.
You will become more loving and more sensitive. You will find more greenery compared with others. Your senses become so sensitive. Your body will just be a passage, a tremendous receptivity. It will simply soak up and take it to ur heart. And the whole of life will take a different luminosity - it will become colorful, psychedelic.
Soul
When I touch the tree, I can sense them talking to me. I can dance with a flower bud.
When I listen to Guru pooja, I broke down.
When I listen to Brahma Nanda, I melt...
Osho
One has to follow ego into one's being from body to mind, from mind to self, one has to seek and see all the hideouts.
Once you have known all the possibilities of ego-assertion, in that understanding, in that awareness, ego disappears.
When ego disappears, your body is different, your mind is different, your self is different.
You are in the body, but u r not the body.
You are no more the mind. You use the mind, it becomes an instrument but u r not identified wit it.
You use the self, but u r not identified with it.
Once u start coming out of ur limit, u r unlimited. You are as unlimited as the whole; you r the whole. There will be great transformations.
Your body will become more affectionate, more warm. Your body will have the quality of weightlessness.
You will become more loving and more sensitive. You will find more greenery compared with others. Your senses become so sensitive. Your body will just be a passage, a tremendous receptivity. It will simply soak up and take it to ur heart. And the whole of life will take a different luminosity - it will become colorful, psychedelic.
Soul
When I touch the tree, I can sense them talking to me. I can dance with a flower bud.
When I listen to Guru pooja, I broke down.
When I listen to Brahma Nanda, I melt...
Control results in stress
May 18
Father, alas the flower essence is workin. Didn't realise I was in undergoing internal stress. I knew I was not as connected to the Source for the last 2 weeks but didn't realise it was becos I was too much in the mind. Stressful that I can't make it for my Destiny.
I will now admit to I am a worrier
Osho
1. The Issue - Stress
The essential man comes to know, to feel, "I am not separate from the whole, and there is no need to seek and search for any destiny on my own. Things are happening of their own accord.
The accidental man is a doer, in anxiety, tension and stress.
We create the stress ourselves, with the idea that without us, nothing will happen, especially in the way we want it to!
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see - Success.
One moment, you are the wave, another moment, you are the hollow wake that follows. Enjoy both - don't get addicted to one. It is not possible to be always in the peak. Nobody can exist continuously in an excitement.
Don't be tempted to try to hold on to this abundant moment.
The greatest wisdom to keep in mind with all the phenomena in the parade of your life, whether they be valleys or peaks, is that "this too will pass. "
Soul
Father, this down is not really down, but becos I have such a high peak, a month ago, I tot m going down. I have some expectation that I be transformed but nothing happen.
3. External Influence - The Miser.
The moment u start clingly to things, u have missed the target. Becos things are not the target, you, ur innermost being, is the target, an open being, available to million of things.
Whatever u r holding on to, remember that u can't take it with u. Loosen ur grip and feel the freedom and expansiveness sharing can bring.
4. What is needed for resolution?
The Source
Zen asks u to come out of the head and go to the basic source. If all the energy is used in the head, u will never become aware of ur eternity....You will never know as an experience what it is to be one with the whole.
Zazen means sitting at the very source, not moving anywhere, a tremendous force arises, a transformation of energy into light and love, into greater life, into compassion, into creativity.
Learn how to be at the Source. Then the Source will decide where ur potential is. You can relax and let it take u to ur vrry potential.
Soul
How? Only thing is to continue with my meditation.
5. Resolution - Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then u will enter the temple.
Your cleverness is ur disease. Don't be too wise. Always remember to stop; don't go to the extreme. A little foolishness and a little wisdom is good and the right combination makes u a buddha.
Celebration never need to depend on outside circumstances. True celebration arises from a joy that is first experienced deep within, and spills over into an overflow of song and dance and laughter, and yes, even tears of gratitude.
Soul
I have experienced and continue to experience during meditation. Aiyah, jus savour lah my 4 days week. It jus started 1 month and already I wan to see something else and here I didn't do anything to get something else and I didn't wan to do anyway.
So, give myself time off for 2010. Jus savour this time off. Very few people can afford to have.
(June 4 - yday, while driving to meet my friends for dinner..suddenly felt happy and laughed uncontrollably..its meditation by itself)
Father, alas the flower essence is workin. Didn't realise I was in undergoing internal stress. I knew I was not as connected to the Source for the last 2 weeks but didn't realise it was becos I was too much in the mind. Stressful that I can't make it for my Destiny.
I will now admit to I am a worrier
Osho
1. The Issue - Stress
The essential man comes to know, to feel, "I am not separate from the whole, and there is no need to seek and search for any destiny on my own. Things are happening of their own accord.
The accidental man is a doer, in anxiety, tension and stress.
We create the stress ourselves, with the idea that without us, nothing will happen, especially in the way we want it to!
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see - Success.
One moment, you are the wave, another moment, you are the hollow wake that follows. Enjoy both - don't get addicted to one. It is not possible to be always in the peak. Nobody can exist continuously in an excitement.
Don't be tempted to try to hold on to this abundant moment.
The greatest wisdom to keep in mind with all the phenomena in the parade of your life, whether they be valleys or peaks, is that "this too will pass. "
Soul
Father, this down is not really down, but becos I have such a high peak, a month ago, I tot m going down. I have some expectation that I be transformed but nothing happen.
3. External Influence - The Miser.
The moment u start clingly to things, u have missed the target. Becos things are not the target, you, ur innermost being, is the target, an open being, available to million of things.
Whatever u r holding on to, remember that u can't take it with u. Loosen ur grip and feel the freedom and expansiveness sharing can bring.
4. What is needed for resolution?
The Source
Zen asks u to come out of the head and go to the basic source. If all the energy is used in the head, u will never become aware of ur eternity....You will never know as an experience what it is to be one with the whole.
Zazen means sitting at the very source, not moving anywhere, a tremendous force arises, a transformation of energy into light and love, into greater life, into compassion, into creativity.
Learn how to be at the Source. Then the Source will decide where ur potential is. You can relax and let it take u to ur vrry potential.
Soul
How? Only thing is to continue with my meditation.
5. Resolution - Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then u will enter the temple.
Your cleverness is ur disease. Don't be too wise. Always remember to stop; don't go to the extreme. A little foolishness and a little wisdom is good and the right combination makes u a buddha.
Celebration never need to depend on outside circumstances. True celebration arises from a joy that is first experienced deep within, and spills over into an overflow of song and dance and laughter, and yes, even tears of gratitude.
Soul
I have experienced and continue to experience during meditation. Aiyah, jus savour lah my 4 days week. It jus started 1 month and already I wan to see something else and here I didn't do anything to get something else and I didn't wan to do anyway.
So, give myself time off for 2010. Jus savour this time off. Very few people can afford to have.
(June 4 - yday, while driving to meet my friends for dinner..suddenly felt happy and laughed uncontrollably..its meditation by itself)
Shoulder stand after Shakti
May 17 Evenin
It has been abt 2 weeks since I have laughed so much during shakti. Today can do the shoulder posture, with legs behind. Did it twice. Body just become so nimble...no preparatory hatha yoga steps. This just proves the effect of meditation..
When tots came, I jus let them be. Both positive and negativ tot. I now admit I like romance.
Osho
Either u grow so big that only you exist and nothing else, or become so small, so small that everything exists except you; from both standpoints you will take the jump to oneness.
Affirmation - I am God; I am truth (Krishna)
Negation - I am not (Buddha)
Both silence has the same taste, same blissfulness.
But one who is still trying to seek cannot be both. One who has arrived ...both have dissolved for him.
Never choose opposite things together, otherwise u will create a split in ur being.
Soul
I have chosen affirmation.
I only need to remember my high low energy points.
It has been abt 2 weeks since I have laughed so much during shakti. Today can do the shoulder posture, with legs behind. Did it twice. Body just become so nimble...no preparatory hatha yoga steps. This just proves the effect of meditation..
When tots came, I jus let them be. Both positive and negativ tot. I now admit I like romance.
Osho
Either u grow so big that only you exist and nothing else, or become so small, so small that everything exists except you; from both standpoints you will take the jump to oneness.
Affirmation - I am God; I am truth (Krishna)
Negation - I am not (Buddha)
Both silence has the same taste, same blissfulness.
But one who is still trying to seek cannot be both. One who has arrived ...both have dissolved for him.
Never choose opposite things together, otherwise u will create a split in ur being.
Soul
I have chosen affirmation.
I only need to remember my high low energy points.
Self Understanding - the key
May 17
Father, today I felt awake. Meditatiion was also fine, 10 min longer than norm. My finger swell has reduced. I know it will go down.
Alas, my path is affirmation. I will continue.
As for my chronic disease, it is further confirmed that it is my cosmic lesson. I who was disconnected with emotion and body is afflicted with physical ailment. And my life lesson is 7 of Spade, Card of Faith; to have faith that I am fine despite the physical ailment.
Last friday discussed wit D and she asked me where should she start first. I told her yoga and reiki. Since body is her doorway, she can start wit that. Suddenly I have the insight that my doorway is my mind.
So, for me, mind is the strongest and followed by emotion and alas body. I used mind to the exclusion of others. So, my emotion is repressed and body is vulnerable and would receive the overall impact from whatever stirred in my mind.
Since my mind is strongest and by nature it is political and can be used for positive and negative tots. By doing meditation, I slowed down the mind activity and have more energy to be aware of emotion and body.
This is further confirmed wit my Mars of 3 Spade and Pluto of Jack of Club that states my mind is very creative and have so many ideas, can be good and bad.
This mornin I also tot of doing my reading and also for V and see if it is saleable.
Osho
While Krishna is dancing as a wave, he is aware that he belongs to the ocean, he is the ocean itself. But as far as we are concerned, we know ourselves only as waves.
Chaitanya
Such a rational intellect, who had indulged in hair splittung interpretation of words and concepts throughout his life, was one day found singing and dancing through the street of Navadeep.
He was not a man of love, and he turned to love and devotion - which was a miracle.
This 180 degree turn in his life demonstrates the victory of love over logic.
He had defeated all his contemporaries with his logic, but when he came to himself, he found it to be a self-defeating discipline.
He came to a point where the mind lost and life and love won. Beyond this point, one can only go with life and love.
He renounces mind, renounces thinking and declare that "Reality is beyond thought, it is unthinkable."
He demonstrates that they alone can transcend thinking who first enter into the very depth of thinking and explore it through and through. Then they are bound to come to a point where thinking ends and the unthinkable begins.
This last frontier of mind is where a statement like this is born. He crosses the last frontier of mentation.
Life begins where logic ends.
Soul
This is me.
2 years ago, I decided my mind was shitty and my mind can't help me anymore and meditation found me and I have a glimpse of beyond mind. Alas, after 1.5 years, I am singing and dancing during meditation.
I guess, when I managed to deactivate the mind, it becomes useful once more and I become to rely it again and hence create the politics of positive and negative path. Well, am straightened, I am on positive path.
Father, today I felt awake. Meditatiion was also fine, 10 min longer than norm. My finger swell has reduced. I know it will go down.
Alas, my path is affirmation. I will continue.
As for my chronic disease, it is further confirmed that it is my cosmic lesson. I who was disconnected with emotion and body is afflicted with physical ailment. And my life lesson is 7 of Spade, Card of Faith; to have faith that I am fine despite the physical ailment.
Last friday discussed wit D and she asked me where should she start first. I told her yoga and reiki. Since body is her doorway, she can start wit that. Suddenly I have the insight that my doorway is my mind.
So, for me, mind is the strongest and followed by emotion and alas body. I used mind to the exclusion of others. So, my emotion is repressed and body is vulnerable and would receive the overall impact from whatever stirred in my mind.
Since my mind is strongest and by nature it is political and can be used for positive and negative tots. By doing meditation, I slowed down the mind activity and have more energy to be aware of emotion and body.
This is further confirmed wit my Mars of 3 Spade and Pluto of Jack of Club that states my mind is very creative and have so many ideas, can be good and bad.
This mornin I also tot of doing my reading and also for V and see if it is saleable.
Osho
While Krishna is dancing as a wave, he is aware that he belongs to the ocean, he is the ocean itself. But as far as we are concerned, we know ourselves only as waves.
Chaitanya
Such a rational intellect, who had indulged in hair splittung interpretation of words and concepts throughout his life, was one day found singing and dancing through the street of Navadeep.
He was not a man of love, and he turned to love and devotion - which was a miracle.
This 180 degree turn in his life demonstrates the victory of love over logic.
He had defeated all his contemporaries with his logic, but when he came to himself, he found it to be a self-defeating discipline.
He came to a point where the mind lost and life and love won. Beyond this point, one can only go with life and love.
He renounces mind, renounces thinking and declare that "Reality is beyond thought, it is unthinkable."
He demonstrates that they alone can transcend thinking who first enter into the very depth of thinking and explore it through and through. Then they are bound to come to a point where thinking ends and the unthinkable begins.
This last frontier of mind is where a statement like this is born. He crosses the last frontier of mentation.
Life begins where logic ends.
Soul
This is me.
2 years ago, I decided my mind was shitty and my mind can't help me anymore and meditation found me and I have a glimpse of beyond mind. Alas, after 1.5 years, I am singing and dancing during meditation.
I guess, when I managed to deactivate the mind, it becomes useful once more and I become to rely it again and hence create the politics of positive and negative path. Well, am straightened, I am on positive path.
I am recovering
May 15 evenin
Heal your life dvd - Louis Hays
External challenge is ur own internal resistance to change
Learning to open and accept the miracle.
Universe love grateful people
Soul
My area of growth "Not enough". Its true, I have evolved so much these last 1 year. I hav experienced my knowledge. I have disidentify from my job. I now exercised daily. I am now working on 4 days week and now have time for my personal hobby and thru it all, still not enough. Aren't I ungrateful!
I tot Samyama will brought me over and much more. It did brought me over but I tot not enough. And since there is no course after Samyama, I tot I am stuck in the path, wit no sight of ending.
Today while I was swimming. This one of the rare time that I allow myself to stop and float momentarily while swimming. When I wasn't focus on reaching the ending, was ok in stopping half way, the journey seem less ardous.
Osho
Tao is a pathless path. It means the way and the goal are one. If you are on the way, you have arrived; because the journey and the destiny are not separate; the journey itself is the goal. The means is the end, there is no other end.
Once there is a goal, then u will become tense, because then there will arise the desire and the ambition to achieve it. Then u will have to prepare for it; time will be needed, methods, techniques will be needed; virtue, character will be needed. And u will always be anxious and afraid whether u are going in the right direction or not. Will u be able to make it or not?
The fear, the anxiety, the trembling will continue, because there is a future with the goal. When the way is the goal, there is no future, future is simply destroyed, time disappears.
Soul
I have the same Tao experience during my swim. Perhaps I can apply this to my path. I am already in the journey. I have arrived. There is no More.
Osho
It is the mind that wants to postpone, to divides the way and the goal. Then there is very much space for your mind to be projected into. Tao leaves no space for the mind.
Soul
I hear u. To be in the Now.
On a daily basis, when I woke up, my first tot is my RA and I hav to do hatha. I even now lost the joy of doing hatha cos I now do hatha becos of RA. Perhaps its becos I have been thinking abt it constantly and hence it reactivate. I called it up.
(June 4 - I am back. No longer tot of RA as swell has stopped and now start to enjoy hatha once more.)
Osho
Logic/knowledge never transforms anybody because u r dominated by the unconscious, not by the conscious.
Simply watch and see what is what inside u, things will start changing; and that change will be a surprise to u because you have not done anything for that change directly. It comes as a by-product, as a consequence of understanding.
(June 4 - That is exactly what I have been doing. Unravelling and understanding myself. Suddenly without my knowledge, I have changed..and I am not even controlling/directing the change. I know we are dominated by our unconscious..but I tot I cleared all the debris..Perhaps what is remaining is Light...and hence the difference in my reaction. Appreciation/Neutrel instead of resentment. Laughter instead of anger...)
Heal your life dvd - Louis Hays
External challenge is ur own internal resistance to change
Learning to open and accept the miracle.
Universe love grateful people
Soul
My area of growth "Not enough". Its true, I have evolved so much these last 1 year. I hav experienced my knowledge. I have disidentify from my job. I now exercised daily. I am now working on 4 days week and now have time for my personal hobby and thru it all, still not enough. Aren't I ungrateful!
I tot Samyama will brought me over and much more. It did brought me over but I tot not enough. And since there is no course after Samyama, I tot I am stuck in the path, wit no sight of ending.
Today while I was swimming. This one of the rare time that I allow myself to stop and float momentarily while swimming. When I wasn't focus on reaching the ending, was ok in stopping half way, the journey seem less ardous.
Osho
Tao is a pathless path. It means the way and the goal are one. If you are on the way, you have arrived; because the journey and the destiny are not separate; the journey itself is the goal. The means is the end, there is no other end.
Once there is a goal, then u will become tense, because then there will arise the desire and the ambition to achieve it. Then u will have to prepare for it; time will be needed, methods, techniques will be needed; virtue, character will be needed. And u will always be anxious and afraid whether u are going in the right direction or not. Will u be able to make it or not?
The fear, the anxiety, the trembling will continue, because there is a future with the goal. When the way is the goal, there is no future, future is simply destroyed, time disappears.
Soul
I have the same Tao experience during my swim. Perhaps I can apply this to my path. I am already in the journey. I have arrived. There is no More.
Osho
It is the mind that wants to postpone, to divides the way and the goal. Then there is very much space for your mind to be projected into. Tao leaves no space for the mind.
Soul
I hear u. To be in the Now.
On a daily basis, when I woke up, my first tot is my RA and I hav to do hatha. I even now lost the joy of doing hatha cos I now do hatha becos of RA. Perhaps its becos I have been thinking abt it constantly and hence it reactivate. I called it up.
(June 4 - I am back. No longer tot of RA as swell has stopped and now start to enjoy hatha once more.)
Osho
Logic/knowledge never transforms anybody because u r dominated by the unconscious, not by the conscious.
Simply watch and see what is what inside u, things will start changing; and that change will be a surprise to u because you have not done anything for that change directly. It comes as a by-product, as a consequence of understanding.
(June 4 - That is exactly what I have been doing. Unravelling and understanding myself. Suddenly without my knowledge, I have changed..and I am not even controlling/directing the change. I know we are dominated by our unconscious..but I tot I cleared all the debris..Perhaps what is remaining is Light...and hence the difference in my reaction. Appreciation/Neutrel instead of resentment. Laughter instead of anger...)
Feeling down...
May 15
Father, my ex boss called me. She finally quit her job and got a new one. I am happy for her.
Suddenly tot of me, others have proceed ahead. What abt me? My ego says m useless.
Tot of the exPA, perhaps that's why I judged her. She claim she knows and at high level and yet not able to overcome herself. What about me then? Then tot of me gaining weight. Tot of my joints pain.
Aiyoh, why so negative! Why just be happy for C and instead of feeling envious. I felt m not going anywhere. I am not even really doing promotion for isha. Then an alternative tot came in, you helped D yday and like she says, she had an ephiphany whenever she talked to u. You have given her a direction and both of u have found affirmation for ur path, she thru her body and u thru ur mind.
Alas, my mind is real politician, bad one at that. I am fine.
Afternoon
As I am reading the card, I realise that I don't enjoy it as much as I tot it would be. Just like astrology, I am only keen for it as a guide and I don't keen to learn it. Just like isha, I also use it as a tool.
Whenever I have to do something that require memorising, I felt restriction and require energy and I then didn't like it. I like things that I can explore on my own, think on my own, have my own ah ha moments. I like to create rather than follow.
That's why I won't be a Card reader or an Isha teacher. Anything that I have to study and memorise, I don't like.
(June 4 - I am back. I am keen in the Card. It is so real, I have completed reading my Life Path. I know what I will coach in - Self Understanding. When you understand yourself, you can accept and love yourself, then can return the favour to others...Yeap, thats my forte.)
I recalled in love, I need to have personal integrity. I know I have integrity at food, work and friendship but in love, I do not. Just like d drama with all the shortlisted recruits, they change their minds towards the end, to justify their means.
I can be like that too. I may not find them attractive but if they fulfill my expectation, I too changed my mind to be with the potential partner. Why??? Just like they want to find d candidate, I too wan to find my partner.
Bit scary.... I really need to look at this.
Father, my ex boss called me. She finally quit her job and got a new one. I am happy for her.
Suddenly tot of me, others have proceed ahead. What abt me? My ego says m useless.
Tot of the exPA, perhaps that's why I judged her. She claim she knows and at high level and yet not able to overcome herself. What about me then? Then tot of me gaining weight. Tot of my joints pain.
Aiyoh, why so negative! Why just be happy for C and instead of feeling envious. I felt m not going anywhere. I am not even really doing promotion for isha. Then an alternative tot came in, you helped D yday and like she says, she had an ephiphany whenever she talked to u. You have given her a direction and both of u have found affirmation for ur path, she thru her body and u thru ur mind.
Alas, my mind is real politician, bad one at that. I am fine.
Afternoon
As I am reading the card, I realise that I don't enjoy it as much as I tot it would be. Just like astrology, I am only keen for it as a guide and I don't keen to learn it. Just like isha, I also use it as a tool.
Whenever I have to do something that require memorising, I felt restriction and require energy and I then didn't like it. I like things that I can explore on my own, think on my own, have my own ah ha moments. I like to create rather than follow.
That's why I won't be a Card reader or an Isha teacher. Anything that I have to study and memorise, I don't like.
(June 4 - I am back. I am keen in the Card. It is so real, I have completed reading my Life Path. I know what I will coach in - Self Understanding. When you understand yourself, you can accept and love yourself, then can return the favour to others...Yeap, thats my forte.)
I recalled in love, I need to have personal integrity. I know I have integrity at food, work and friendship but in love, I do not. Just like d drama with all the shortlisted recruits, they change their minds towards the end, to justify their means.
I can be like that too. I may not find them attractive but if they fulfill my expectation, I too changed my mind to be with the potential partner. Why??? Just like they want to find d candidate, I too wan to find my partner.
Bit scary.... I really need to look at this.
Contradicting karma cards
May 14
Father, not sure why. But I felt a sense of appreciation for Regional team. This is a far cry from my feelings 2 years ago. From resentment to appreciation. I used to have resistance towards authorities.
This all started 2 month after samyama, I was surprised that I feel neutrel instead of resentment.
And now 3 months after samyama, I am further surprised, my neutrel feeling turns to appreciation.
My karma cards
Hidden areas of growth from past life - 3 of diamond - worry about not having enough value, love, money (insecurity)
Hidden qualities that are natural gifts and abilities from past life - 9 of diamond -able to release things and people.
Once they accessed the power of letting go, they are happy and somewhat carefree.
They are giving and less attached to people and things in their life. They have a look of wisdom on their face. They understand life as no others can because they can see well beyond their personal identity to the broad picture of the universe. The compassion they exude is real and comes from having consciously passed through many endings. Their happiness is real because it is not based on acquisition of any thing or person. It is based on the knowledge that they are in tune with the will of God and the cosmic flow.
Father, the 3 and 9 is so contradictory. If I am not able to overcome my 3, I cannot reach 9.
Alas, the meditation, Sadhguru and Osho helps me to keep 3 at bay so that I can proceed to 9 diamond (Universal values - the giver) is somewhat similar Queen diamond (the philanthropist). Both are givers.
(4 June - another way of looking at it, with my talent in Letting Go, I can then overcome my fear of not enough. mmm..a more positive note. So, instead of worrying about 3..just unravel my hidden talent of Letting go)
Afternoon
An ephiphanic meetup wit D. We went to this restaurant and it has not open yet. While waiting, I saw a signboard that talks about Bach flower essence. I recall that I read about this and is part of healing required for my RA.
My friend and I went up and I saw the Flower essence. Ask the lady to recommend as there were too many bottles, 28 in total. I told her about RA and possible solar plexus issue. She recommend Eros and I asked for the brochures. Brochures open up and just at the top of Eros is Transformation and it strikes me to read that Transformation first instead of Eros. Then I read Eros and found it not applicable to me and infact the right one was Transformation.
Transformation
Supporting personal growth and transformation
Choosing transformation means 'shining the light' on what needs to be reformed or changed. We can transform and harmonise seemingly opposite parts of ourselves, cultivate inner strength to preservere and stay on course, and willingly make sacrifices, which will serve our highest good.
When I was talking to D, suddenly tot of my 3 and 9 karma cards, such opposite. Then I realised my joints swell due to the stress resulting from inner conflict between my 3 and 9.
As I was leaving the place, suddenly checked a tarot card - New Beginning. To overcome my inner conflict and fear to follow my new path.
Now I know why my joints swell. I know its not work and is puzzled and sad why my joints swell so much. Anyway, I have just swallowed the flower essence. Will see.
(4 June - met up ex PA. She says she also have loads of clearing in April/May and according to her the planetary period is difficult for all.)
During lunch, when talking to D, realised her depression is due to the ceaserean rather than the general post natal depression. Her essence point start with the body. Her happiness is dependent on the body's happiness. That's why physical work such as housework, hatha yoga and reiki suits her.
Then it dawned on me that my vulnerable point is my mind. When I cannot use my mind in work, eg doing no mind task as reporting, I felt lousy and down and valueless.
I like reading books that stimulate me and I am attracted to intellectual guys, smart guys.
And since my strength/vulnerable point is my mind, I can be lost in my mind, feeling worry, anxiety and etc And meditation basically slow down the mind activity and hence that's why I take it like duck to water.
(June 4 - no wonder I seems to be not here..and disconnected from my body and emotion. No wonder, I overworked, couldn't listen to my emotion and body and got RA)
Both D and I are motivated as we received affirmation on our tool set. She is on yoga and reiki and me on my meditation.
Father, not sure why. But I felt a sense of appreciation for Regional team. This is a far cry from my feelings 2 years ago. From resentment to appreciation. I used to have resistance towards authorities.
This all started 2 month after samyama, I was surprised that I feel neutrel instead of resentment.
And now 3 months after samyama, I am further surprised, my neutrel feeling turns to appreciation.
My karma cards
Hidden areas of growth from past life - 3 of diamond - worry about not having enough value, love, money (insecurity)
Hidden qualities that are natural gifts and abilities from past life - 9 of diamond -able to release things and people.
Once they accessed the power of letting go, they are happy and somewhat carefree.
They are giving and less attached to people and things in their life. They have a look of wisdom on their face. They understand life as no others can because they can see well beyond their personal identity to the broad picture of the universe. The compassion they exude is real and comes from having consciously passed through many endings. Their happiness is real because it is not based on acquisition of any thing or person. It is based on the knowledge that they are in tune with the will of God and the cosmic flow.
Father, the 3 and 9 is so contradictory. If I am not able to overcome my 3, I cannot reach 9.
Alas, the meditation, Sadhguru and Osho helps me to keep 3 at bay so that I can proceed to 9 diamond (Universal values - the giver) is somewhat similar Queen diamond (the philanthropist). Both are givers.
(4 June - another way of looking at it, with my talent in Letting Go, I can then overcome my fear of not enough. mmm..a more positive note. So, instead of worrying about 3..just unravel my hidden talent of Letting go)
Afternoon
An ephiphanic meetup wit D. We went to this restaurant and it has not open yet. While waiting, I saw a signboard that talks about Bach flower essence. I recall that I read about this and is part of healing required for my RA.
My friend and I went up and I saw the Flower essence. Ask the lady to recommend as there were too many bottles, 28 in total. I told her about RA and possible solar plexus issue. She recommend Eros and I asked for the brochures. Brochures open up and just at the top of Eros is Transformation and it strikes me to read that Transformation first instead of Eros. Then I read Eros and found it not applicable to me and infact the right one was Transformation.
Transformation
Supporting personal growth and transformation
Choosing transformation means 'shining the light' on what needs to be reformed or changed. We can transform and harmonise seemingly opposite parts of ourselves, cultivate inner strength to preservere and stay on course, and willingly make sacrifices, which will serve our highest good.
When I was talking to D, suddenly tot of my 3 and 9 karma cards, such opposite. Then I realised my joints swell due to the stress resulting from inner conflict between my 3 and 9.
As I was leaving the place, suddenly checked a tarot card - New Beginning. To overcome my inner conflict and fear to follow my new path.
Now I know why my joints swell. I know its not work and is puzzled and sad why my joints swell so much. Anyway, I have just swallowed the flower essence. Will see.
(4 June - met up ex PA. She says she also have loads of clearing in April/May and according to her the planetary period is difficult for all.)
During lunch, when talking to D, realised her depression is due to the ceaserean rather than the general post natal depression. Her essence point start with the body. Her happiness is dependent on the body's happiness. That's why physical work such as housework, hatha yoga and reiki suits her.
Then it dawned on me that my vulnerable point is my mind. When I cannot use my mind in work, eg doing no mind task as reporting, I felt lousy and down and valueless.
I like reading books that stimulate me and I am attracted to intellectual guys, smart guys.
And since my strength/vulnerable point is my mind, I can be lost in my mind, feeling worry, anxiety and etc And meditation basically slow down the mind activity and hence that's why I take it like duck to water.
(June 4 - no wonder I seems to be not here..and disconnected from my body and emotion. No wonder, I overworked, couldn't listen to my emotion and body and got RA)
Both D and I are motivated as we received affirmation on our tool set. She is on yoga and reiki and me on my meditation.
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