I am recovering

May 15 evenin
Heal your life dvd - Louis Hays
External challenge is ur own internal resistance to change

Learning to open and accept the miracle.

Universe love grateful people

Soul
My area of growth "Not enough". Its true, I have evolved so much these last 1 year. I hav experienced my knowledge. I have disidentify from my job. I now exercised daily. I am now working on 4 days week and now have time for my personal hobby and thru it all, still not enough. Aren't I ungrateful!

I tot Samyama will brought me over and much more. It did brought me over but I tot not enough. And since there is no course after Samyama, I tot I am stuck in the path, wit no sight of ending.

Today while I was swimming. This one of the rare time that I allow myself to stop and float momentarily while swimming. When I wasn't focus on reaching the ending, was ok in stopping half way, the journey seem less ardous.

Osho
Tao is a pathless path. It means the way and the goal are one. If you are on the way, you have arrived; because the journey and the destiny are not separate; the journey itself is the goal. The means is the end, there is no other end.

Once there is a goal, then u will become tense, because then there will arise the desire and the ambition to achieve it. Then u will have to prepare for it; time will be needed, methods, techniques will be needed; virtue, character will be needed. And u will always be anxious and afraid whether u are going in the right direction or not. Will u be able to make it or not?
The fear, the anxiety, the trembling will continue, because there is a future with the goal. When the way is the goal, there is no future, future is simply destroyed, time disappears.

Soul
I have the same Tao experience during my swim. Perhaps I can apply this to my path. I am already in the journey. I have arrived. There is no More.

Osho
It is the mind that wants to postpone, to divides the way and the goal. Then there is very much space for your mind to be projected into. Tao leaves no space for the mind.

Soul
I hear u. To be in the Now.

On a daily basis, when I woke up, my first tot is my RA and I hav to do hatha. I even now lost the joy of doing hatha cos I now do hatha becos of RA. Perhaps its becos I have been thinking abt it constantly and hence it reactivate. I called it up.

(June 4 - I am back. No longer tot of RA as swell has stopped and now start to enjoy hatha once more.)

Osho
Logic/knowledge never transforms anybody because u r dominated by the unconscious, not by the conscious.
Simply watch and see what is what inside u, things will start changing; and that change will be a surprise to u because you have not done anything for that change directly. It comes as a by-product, as a consequence of understanding.

(June 4 - That is exactly what I have been doing. Unravelling and understanding myself. Suddenly without my knowledge, I have changed..and I am not even controlling/directing the change. I know we are dominated by our unconscious..but I tot I cleared all the debris..Perhaps what is remaining is Light...and hence the difference in my reaction. Appreciation/Neutrel instead of resentment. Laughter instead of anger...)